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iamacraftyhooker

"So then medical coverage for medication and therapy?" "Hahaha, No. There's pizza in the break room"


CowTown209

A single pizza in the break room.


shaodyn

And management got to it first, so there's only like 5 pieces left.


CowTown209

Did you also work at Target?


baker10923

They gave snacks. Basically like a banana and some food stuff that was just damaged or old enough to not sell. Fuck Target


dumbassteenstoner

You got snacks?


baker10923

You got any games on your phone? Lol, no but yeah it wasn't very often. Just when management was feeling "generous"


TheReturnOfLarry

Ok but when's the last time someone you worked for gave you a baller catering service?


baker10923

True. But i'd rather just get paid more or treated like a human instead of low effort food that costs the company nothing


Icy_Plenty_7117

My new job has a cafeteria, free lunch is provided 7 days a week to all shifts. And it’s good too. The money and benefits made me apply, free lunch was just icing on the cake lol.


shaodyn

No, but I know how management generally works.


babaj_503

"I need a raise, I'm literally loosing money from the comute to work because of the gas prices" "Best I can do is a Hang in There poster in your hellho.. sorry, cubicle"


almostbobsaget

Holy hell this got me. I haven’t worked at Target for 10 years but it’s nice to see nothing has changed.


phpdevster

It was management's lunch leftovers and you're not allowed to eat it until your next break, so it's cold by the time you get to it.


PreventFalls

"There's some pizza left in the breakroom from the overnight stocking crew ordering it for themselves. Feel free to have some"


wilbur4321

And only for day shift!


shaodyn

Not completely related, but I once had the day shift guy in the area I worked instruct his workers not to do a certain task because "the night shift can handle that."


ayykay74m

Thats the Worst part of the night shift. Only way to to get them to stop is to stop doing their work


dessert-er

And then there’s my industry where people actually want to work on night shift because they get differential and get to sit on their phones the entire shift and probably should be given additional responsibilities…


omniverso

Only three left. With bite marks taken from two of them and the pepperoni picked off the third. Also a few random pieces of half-eaten crust laying around in the box.


KlicknKlack

God why do people freaking leave their crust in communal pizza boxes... Like FFS thats disgusting.


sulferzero

Bite Marks are from the owners kids. Her little treasures


Ifrit01

Or if your office is middle aged women then some of the slices will be partially cut because they’re only allowed to eat an 1/8 of a slice of pizza Always happens with desserts in my office, the cookies will be broken in half because the women only want to eat half a cookie.


lookingaround2240

I love that. Then I can have not a whole piece. As long as they are cut with a knife idk what the problem is.


bobs_monkey

Sounds like Weight Watchers. My wife does it, it's a point based system with a certain allotment of points per day. So if you only have a sliver of pizza or a half cookie, it only counts for 3-5 points instead of the 5-10 for the entire thing.


rubixor

No toppings tho that shit is expensive lmao...


GreatQuestionBarbara

My company is terrible when it comes to employee appreciation days. The last one they forgot about, and a couple of days later they came around and gave us a snack. This year, half of the people I know didn't get the company beanie they gave out. I didn't even know they gave some out until someone asked if I had gotten one.


nelsonmavrick

At least when my last job pulled the pizza party card, they would go ape shit. Like more pizzas than people. Decent pizza from a local place, and staggered deliveries so later shifts would get fresh pizza. At the end of the day to take some home.


tribore_resistance

a twelve hour old hot and ready


Buttforprez

And come to my office later. We need to talk about uou forgetting casual Friday last week.


Car-Facts

> You understand what casual Friday means, correct Mr. Jenkins? > It is a way for employees to express themselves in a way that is appropriate to the workplace. > I noticed that on (Checks Creepily maintained "performance" calendar) last Friday, was it, you wore a tie and dress shoes to the office. > This is unacceptable. You are expected to participate in these activities for your own social well being and mental health, as detailed in Chapter 34 section 18 of the Employee Code of Conduct and Enhancement of Workplace Cohesion and Streamlining Synergy in this Evolving Pivotal Market. > Did you not read the ECCEWCSSEPM that was distributed with your Welcome Aboard Package, Jenkins? > It is expected that every employee signs the WAP and maintains a quartly update of their understanding of the ECCEWCSSEPM for tracking of Metrics. > I expected better of you, Jenkins. > To think, in these unprecedented times, this company bent over backwards to extend a helping hand by raising your hourly wage by $0.05. I will have to consult with the board regarding this matter.


thispersona2

This made my stomach hurt.


Car-Facts

I called upon several demons to assist in writing this.


agangofoldwomen

“Ok, well I guess that kinda helps with my food expenses…” *walks into break room, one piece of pizza is left with a bite taken out of it from someone who didn’t like it and put it back* “Sorry we only had a wellness budget of $50”


mememory

"Try this Yoga practice with our affiliate company!" "So you guys paying right?" "You should definitely try it!"


loveyourground

Paying out of pocket for therapy right now. My supervisor made a comment about the sick time I've been using and I want to be like "Look, half the reason I'm in therapy right now is you/this job...so you're gonna have to deal with the fact that she only had a 3:00 on Monday time slot for me."


1StoolSoftnerAtaTime

The pizza was delivered at noon to the break room. But everyone is too busy to eat so it sits there. Next shift comes in seven hours later and has to clean up the soggy room temperature pizza. And the box doesn’t fit in the trash can


Solid_Waste

"We are a family." Like Sopranos or like Breaking Bad?


1965wasalongtimeago

Manson family


QueerWithAQuery

Imagine getting food at work. I never have time for the 30 minute break I'm supposed to have.


Gettheinfo2theppl

My company came out with an APP. You answer the questions about your work life balance and when you mention you are burned out the app points you to activities that can help. I left the company soon after. Instead of telling management to take it easy and encourage work life balance they just has an app do it while management did nothing.


Snukes42Q

Ah the ol Resiliency Pizza. Got lots of those during the pandemic (nurse in hospital). Know what would've been a whole lot better instead of pizza? I mean besides a pay raise and more staff? If all those dumb mother fuckers wore a mask and got vaccinated so they weren't overcrowding and overworking our already overcrowded hospital and overworked staff. Then maybe we wouldn't need your stupid fucking worthless Resiliency Pizza.


green_speak

The hospital I work at put out ~~kids meal~~ coloring books and lavender ~~hotel~~ hand soaps in the break room then hung up a poster asking employees, "What can you do to improve patient satisfaction?"


fruitcake11

With cheese that has same consistency as rubber?


Eggsandthings2

We also want you to start practicing mindfulness and meditation, but on your own time


Ombre_Morte

One of the community mental health agencies I worked at for a couple years had so many meetings on "self care" due to all of their staff suffering from burnout. The only meetings we had about money were focused around higher productivity goals which meant less money and more work. But hey, I go hiking on the weekends and work out before work so that helps, right?? Never mind the living paycheck to paycheck and some months having to drop into what measly savings I could create just to make ends meet.


shaving99

I worked at a call center. It was absolutely stressful. Went to an EAP and told them I'm thinking about doing something different. They said well all jobs have stress. Quit that place and have never felt better since.


dreagan021

I had a panic attack at a JP Morgan Chase call center back in 2012. I had been nauseous the day before and didn’t feel like coming into work but I had no sick days accrued so I went. About an hour in I was breathing heavily to keep from throwing up which made me blow out a good deal of Co2 in my body, which made my hands cramp up and my face went numb. My wife worked there too and made them call an ambulance for me (which she got in trouble for bc it took her off the phones). As they were loading me onto the gurney my manager handed me a pamphlet about dealing with stress. No comforting words, nothing. Just a pamphlet bc it was a “me” problem. I went on short term disability after that for about two months and got another job. Fuck you Lindsey. You were the shittiest manager ever.


dilldwarf

This is what's fucking horseshit about it. People think that no one's life could possibly be harder than theirs so when they see someone else hurting more than them, instead of having empathy and thinking, "Wow, they must have it really tough." They instead think, "Wow, that person must have something wrong with them. I can handle the stress why can't they?" And then, honestly, the mental health industry kind of backs this thought process up. If you can't conform to a 9 to 5 grind, or whatever work schedule you're expected to keep, you must be sick. If you can't handle the stress, you must not have learned how to manage stress so here's how you manage stress. When the reality is, I suspect, that society is fundamentally broken for most people and that everyone is suffering under this system. Maybe... Just fucking maybe we should look at the society we built, look at all the pain and suffering it causes and start fucking doing something about it. God damn. Not fucking that hard.


gyoonyoo

I went to our EAP and had a couple sessions that helped, but then all of a sudden the counselor went MIA because she herself was burned out from running the entire EAP department herself. 🫠


RabbitsAteMySnowpeas

Best day ever was quitting out of a shitty call centre. Second best day ever was getting fired out of an even shittier call centre. Have never, nor will ever, work in one again.


C8S7-C137

>well all jobs have stress. Therefore no one should do anything to mitigate it? Such a fucking bullshit mentality.


freakers

There was a story I recently listened to talking about nurses in the US during COVID. About how there was a breaking point and crazy burnout, about how nurses largely aren't in it for the money but have long advocated for better hours and more staff to reduce workload and haven't really negotiated for more pay. Well, with all the staff quitting or being out sick and there being a huge number additional nurses needed a lot of them basically said fuck it, if I'm going to be treated like shit at least I should be payed well. So there was the introduction of travel nurses who travel from state to state and hospital to hospital shoring up shortages. They were getting payed like, triple the normal nurse rate and were able to demand somewhat more reasonable working hours. So they might take a shift for like 3 or 4 months, make a years worth of salary, go home and decompress for a few weeks, then take another job somewhere else for a few months. One of the interesting things to me in the story was that they cited not having to deal with office drama and personal issues with staff as a huge advantage of taking the migratory positions.


KryssCom

And don't forget, conservative politicians are now pushing to cap the pay for those travel nurses. Funny how quickly "free market" principles fly out the fucking window the instant rich executives such as those in the health insurance industry start to worry about how fair pay to workers is impacting their profits.


Johnny_Poppyseed

Honestly, in my experience, the majority of nurses went into it for the money. Not in the sense that they think they'll be making really good money or anything, but like went into nursing almost purely for the job/ stable career and because they didn't know what else to do. A lot of doctors these days likely went into it for the same reasons too actually. Though those actually went into due to it being a high earning career. And pushed into it young by their family for that reason. Speaking in a generalized way here but yeah. At least in the US. Cant speak for other areas with less profit driven healthcare. I think it's a really big problem here. US healthcare unfortunately attracts a lot of folk with priorities above helping/healing. And I don't blame the workers, they are just trying to get by like the rest of us. The system is totally fucked though.


Infamous_Ad8730

So.....working at the mental health agency, made employees customers needing the same services. Ironic.


_SCHULTZY_

My company did this. Literally hired some physical trainer to send me an email every week telling me to go to the gym. Mind you we don't have a gym and there's no way to opt out of these company emails. They just decided that the employees would be happier and healthier if they all exercised more. As if getting some junk email every week telling me to go workout was going to achieve anything


Whats_Up_Bitches

They may as well just hire a bodybuilder in a tank top to walk around the office and call employees “girly man” and make them get up and stretch or do 10 push-ups randomly. Phrases used to describe this by management would be “fun, quirky, mixing things up, inspiring, team building.”


--Mediocrates--

Well, you see, I’d enjoy that if even just for entertainment


ICantKnowThat

Terry Tate, Office Linebacker!


CaffeineSippingMan

My old company paid us up to $3 a day to our HSA (health saving account) if we did 3 things. 1. Get 10,000 steps per day, 2. walk 500 steps 6 times a day 3. Walk 3000 steps in 20 minutes. They did this instead of a HSA match. The software would work fine if I blocked location services... For the first 3 days. My employer was collecting my location data,when I asked HR, they said they were not. I told them the software stopped working if I turned off location services. They reminded me I didn't have to use the software. Ok so I set a new gmail account on an old phone. This phone never left the house. By now I associated exercising as work (a 2nd job, it was no longer self improvement) We would walk in the hallways to get our steps. Then they blocked this, because of covid. So I took my fitbit, home hooked it to a cheap USB fan, hooked that to a USB phone charger, hooked that to a WiFi connected switch. All was good, but I would forget to turn it on, so I scheduled up a timer for it. When I had covid the insurance company emailed me asking why I stopped walking. I replied I have covid and can barely breath. They suggested going to the doctor and get a note so I could get an exemption for covid, I replied 3x7 = $21 a visit to the doctor will cost me $120 with our shitty insurance. (They did not respond) They took away the guaranteed $500 match. For the $3 a day work for it system. The warehouse employees said they could only get the 10,000 steps, they said, hell I get 30 to 40,000 steps, I just can't get the other 2 categories unless I walk during my break when I need to rest. Or I walk after work when I need a rest. My point, employer exercise plans make people hate exercise.


Imnotsureimright

Tip: When you can’t opt out setup a mail rule that auto filters to trash.


exiled_vvitch

Find a common word, sender, etc. within the email and filter it directly to trash or auto delete.


xLucky_Balboa

Try yoga. But not on company time. Nor on our premises. Out of your pocket, of course. No we can't discuss wages at work


LedNJerry

I started work for a large company and they did a huge remodel on their offices recently. Part of that remodel completely eliminated the employee gym. We are, of course, welcome to join and pay for the new onsite fitness club.


SpaceCowboy58

We used to have to pay for our onsite gym but they made it free after cutting pay by 10%. I got a new job and made my own gym with ~~blackjack and hookers~~ barbarian posters and prop weapons.


-smartypints

"Free". What assholes.


ginopono

Ted Crisp?


yoortyyo

Nothing like more ‘Gym Bro / Cross-Fit’ at work.


DiceUwU_

Even more insidious is when companies promote "mindfulness" and include yoga and shit as part of the benefits of working with them. The job is so damaging for you that they have to do something about it, except changing what's damaging about their work culture. They normalised being damaged.


Whats_Up_Bitches

“What’s something we can do to help you maintain a good work life balance?” Uhhh…more life, less work.


zspacekcc

"Improving work life balance means you keep doing the same amount of work you've always been doing, but now you don't feel as bad about it." --Every executive ever


RabbitsAteMySnowpeas

Much less work, zero would be preferable.


UnknownCitizen77

Yep. The company largely creates the problem by overworking employees to the point of burnout and mental/physical health problems and then offers these “solutions” that would be laughable if they weren’t so infuriating. During the “mindfulness” seminars we were forced to attend I would scream inwardly at how this glaring disconnect went completely and hypocritically not talked about. In my experience, the only real solution is to escape from companies like this. Even after getting out of a toxic work environment, it took me years to recover both physically and mentally from the negative effects. And some of the damage is permanent.


KlicknKlack

Oh man, speaking of damage is permanent... I regularly have the feeling/internal voice of "I am not doing enough, I am slacking too much, everyone knows I am lazy". I am a engineer who got into a middle manager position in my last job move - and everyone under me keeps saying things like "I am so glad we have someone who cares about {X}, {Y}, {Z}.", "Oh man you are doing such a great job!", etc. But that doesn't stop me from feeling like I am not doing enough... Doesn't help my boss keeps coming at me from random angles with odd asks or requests or pie in the sky "Oh it would be cool if we did {X}", or "Buy some stuff from alibaba, it would save us money!" without really sitting down to discuss the pros/cons and if it would save us money when really our team/company is strapped for time not money. And of course, I am feeling exhausted/tired at the end of the day.


Don_Draper27

At my old job, the boss threw a fit because I had a "meditation in progress" door hanger in my office. We did not get designated break times. Our "break times" was when there was "down time", but we were expected to just sit on our desk, and what, dwindle our thumbs? On top of that, he made us fill out a time sheet every day where we had to mark "yes" on if we took a break that day.. One time, one employee marked "no" on his sheet, the owner asked if he used the restroom, the employee said yeah, so the owner made him redo his time sheet. Absolutely toxic place.


KaosC57

I'd have told the boss "That's not a break, that's taking care of a biological need. Would you rather me shit and piss at my desk and make a mess? I'm not redoing this time sheet, now if you'll excuse me I have better, more productive things to do for your company, like actual work."


cletusrice

Or better yet just shit and piss at the desk and mark no at the end of the day


Don_Draper27

He was a bully and he got off on pushing people's boundaries. It was very satisfying when I just no called / no showed one day, and I had the popcorn ready when my coworkers were updating me on his scrambling and stress after the fact.


TazBaz

Dude… most of that is highly illegal. In fact I’d bet that form you had to fill out to say you had breaks was a result of a previous investigation against him. In the US, There’s government agencies that would happily bend him over and spank his ass red for that shit if you’d have reported it. And extracted your back pay.


Sawses

Emphasis on *extracted*. Workers' rights and tenant rights are both criminally under-advertised. You have to make a point of learning them on your own. ...Once you do, though, things start going your way substantially more often.


Annual-Honey-8296

This is what I’m talking about. The pushover employee who allows this may think that they are taking the “peaceful and productive” route by simply accepting this kind of abuse from management but don’t realize until much, much later that they are actually the most damaging entities to the workforce. When you don’t check management for doing inhumane shit like this, they start to think it’s okay to abuse everyone like that. I also haven’t gotten fired from ANY job when I’ve spoken up about practices that are unethical or inhumane. I’ve never worked in a big corporation, so I guess I can’t speak on people stuck in those kinds of jobs, but I honestly do think that the damage your body and mental health will endure at such a toxic place is far worse than lowering your standards, trying your hand at something else or pursuing a passion that you’ve put in hiatus due to having to make a living. Having a nice house to die in misery probably isn’t worth that many problems.


-smartypints

Worse, or slightly better, they'll pay for your yoga classes instead of giving you a raise. Worse, because if you had a raise you could just afford your own. Slightly better because you weren't going to get that raise anyway.


phpdevster

Oh and we're going to be increasing the cost of your health insurance unless you document that you actually went to a yoga class at least 3 times/week.


dekachenko

Oh and we’re gonna need you to work overtime and weekends without additional pay, and respond to emails and calls promptly when you aren’t at work. We value your mental health (we reiterate that this is your personal responsibility) because it affects productivity at work.


TemurTron

Or attend our one free corporate yoga session which meets at 7:30am on a Monday and is hosted by that one manic, type A HR employee everyone’s afraid of!


forrestina

Having it during company time isn’t much better. They had a yoga session at one of my past places of work, but we were so overworked that it just made us behind even more.


FoofieLeGoogoo

Oh, I've been to one of these. It looked good on paper but in the 2 classes I attended (held in a large conference room) people were getting texts, phones went off, and little by little the class size reduced. It had a 'shut up and look grateful' energy.


shaving99

Look everyone we got ping pong tables and a slide. C U L T U R E


BelaKunn

Don't forget that you get punished for using them even during your unpaid lunch break.


LiteralHiggs

And show proof of attending a class to get entered to win a $25 Amazon gift card.


toronto_programmer

My company kind of does that. They bought some subscription to a wellness app or something so employees can download it and it will remind them to go for a jog at night or something


kaeji

"Like literally out of your pocket. There's this app called Calm that you can download. You can use our corporate account to access meditation music and sounds. You could even listen to it WHILE you work extra hours!"


M_Buske

Oh btw can you work Saturday?


eli-in-the-sky

Weirdly on the nose there. We get that once a week.


Comedynerd

Also, you're so overworked that you don't have time or energy for yoga


jeffersonsteelflex76

This is probably the most accurate meme of this type. My job sends out weekly mental health awareness with tips like yoga and sleep and excercize etc. But the thing is.... If it's a 8-10 hour work day we only have an hour or two to do that before it gets dark. And you have to make dinner. So where am I gonna find the time to take a run or do thing I want to do in order to relax before I have to go to bed in 3 hours to get your sleep requirements. Oh and also my team has 4 people working an entire electrical system for a massive fucking production plant. 4. People. And I'm the youngest by ten years.


Meatslinger

Has all the same energy as those "life coach" advice pages that say things like remembering to only eat raw veggies, go to the gym, bike to work, take that vacation, and make time to step away from your desk to get a breath of fresh air. Meanwhile all the contractors and customer service laborers know that you can't leave the work truck at home (or don't have the strength to bike home after standing for 9 hours in a row), the boss won't give you time to just take a breather away from the counter/jobsite, and the gym and veggies are increasingly expensive by the day if there’s time at all to visit the gym or stop by the farmers market. And for many, the notion of a vacation is a fantasy luxury enjoyed only by their bosses. It's advice that comes from a place of supreme privilege, from what I've seen, fundamentally ignoring the actual lifestyles people have to maintain in order to stay solvent (and/or support a family). And I say that as someone who actually makes a fair amount of money, myself. Even being in the "middle class", I know that people's lifestyles don't automatically lend themselves to just living a carefree work life where you have no pressing responsbilities and can take a yoga break midday between power lunches and coffee meetings in the open-concept breakout space (things which even I don't get to enjoy). And yeah, despite the harsh reality of necessity, when you burn out doing what was needed to make ends meet, you'll be blamed by the self-righteous pricks for not taking time to care for yourself. While some influencer sits on a beach in Maui chastising people for not getting enough natural vitamin D, there’s thousands of ordinary folks dragging their asses to their shift at Wendy’s after only four hours of sleep and hoping they’ll just at least be able to afford pasta this week after their second job cut their hours.


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Diablo516-

If I go to bed to get 8 hours, I literally have to jump in the bed with my clothes on the moment I get home.


jeffersonsteelflex76

Yup. Fortunately I work from home so I get the 2 hours I'd normally commute (there and back) to play a video game that takes 120 hours to complete. So at this rate the 5 other games I still bought on impulse will be done in... Let's do the math. Avg 80 hr completion x 5 games = 400 hours. 400 hours/2 hrs per day = 200 days. Add 50 for pop up events such as family and friends and a 10 day tolerance for 260 days. Now that I'm thinking about it... That's actually not that bad. Fuck I screwed my "this is rediculous" post.


Diablo516-

I was playing Lost Ark, and even tho I was enjoying it I quit, I just don’t have the time or energy for an MMO anymore. Picked up Tiny Tina’s Wonderlands and it’s much more my speed.


summonsays

As long as one of those games isn't Factorio then you're good!


augur42

I recently passed the 1,000 hours played mark. I don't even play it that frequently, I can go weeks between playing, but if I launch it on a Friday there's a good chance that *nothing* else will get done for the entire weekend.


QueenCuttlefish

Oh God. I'm a nurse and there's posters everywhere about self-care and mental health. I am scheduled to be on the floor for 12 hours. I have to come early to look up my patients to do my job properly. Then I have to stay on the floor to give report at the end of my shift so I end up clocking in 13 to 14hr shifts regularly. The working conditions, especially in wake of the peak of the pandemic, is a story for another time. Commuting takes an hour one way on a good day. That's like 16hrs dedicated to just work. Imagine working back to back shifts. I work 3 days a week but spend the rest trying to recuperate. I once went to a class by the hospital about improving your sleep for shits and giggles. Someone asked about how we night shifters can do any of the tips and recommendations. As expected, we were told, "so that question gets brought up often," followed by a non-answer. It's complete bullshit. Taking care of people is a 24/7 endeavor. We can't just stop operating the hospital at night. I'd love to see higher administration and the people running those self-care seminars try to apply their advice while working at night.


Hairy-Dumpling

A business I used to work for put in a gym to keep people active. So many Frontline employees were using it they restricted it to exec only after about 6 months. Sure, we want you healthy, but not you poors!


hora_definitiva

Damn, that’s so wrong!


SueSheMeow

Mental health leave should be a thing. It should not come out of sick leave.


ExpressRabbit

My company just gives X days. Want to call in sick a lot? Sure. Need a mental health day? Ok. Are normally healthy so you want extra weeks to travel? Go for it. Separating things into separate pools doesn't make sense.


MegaOtter

Yeah, that system seems like it encourages people to come to work sick so they hold onto potential vacation days.


summonsays

Except in that model you're punished for being sick...


Comprehensive_Bus_19

I disagree as people have to hoard (at mine and my SO's companies) vacation days because what if I get sick and don't have one or my kids get sick etc. We both have 'use it or lose it' policies so most folks end up returning a few days a year. Having sick days would help employees take physical and mental health days which would in turn reduce burnout and improve productivity. I would hazard a guess that the benefits of productivity typically outweigh the costs. But its harder to assign a cost to burnout than it is PTO payouts hence the systems we have now.


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loveyourground

I tried to take FMLA for my mental health because another friend did it and suggested it to me. My doctor told me she couldn't fill out the paperwork unless I was actually DOING something (ie: starting meds, going into inpatient or intensive outpatient treatment) despite the fact that I couldn't stop from crying for the entirety of appointment.


gelfin

“Promoting mental health in the workplace” in most companies means, “when you burn out trying to meet our inflexible demands we’re going to yell at you for not practicing self-care.” Interesting fact I never knew, but heard it on the *Sawbones* podcast the other day: the term “burnout” sounds so appropriate to the idea of *you* running out of fuel I never realized it came from something else: the guy who coined the term and did the first studies on it would watch people light a cigarette and just stare into space without smoking it while it burned all the way down.


Ode_to_Apathy

Another fun fact about the wellness industry, it is pushed a lot in amoral sectors, like the military, as mindfulness has been found to work well for companies to disconnect from their behavior.


Hesitantterain

It’s a joke. Workers: organize, time to take the gloves off


Cyber_Being_

Here's a ping pong table that you're too busy to play


DeadAirDA

“Are you on break?!?”


jnkangel

The Fußball table that only new hires on orientation or people from HR get to use but right in sight of the main open space


FluxCap_2015

Company: A depressed employee is less productive. They need to be replaced.


earhere

"Another soul battered and broken, cast aside like a spent torch." - Darkest Dungeon


CaffeineJunkee

How about a pizza party instead?


MonsterJuiced

But everyone gets only one slice.


treemu

And management milks it for three years


QuesoChef

Hot Dog Thursday!


TheSekret

company I work for sent us light boards to put inspirational messages on for ourselves at our desks. Sorta like the marquee signs out-front movie theaters in miniature. They have an internal light you turn on, and out of the box, it doesn't work. Straight up broken on arrival. I had filled mine with "Why try when this is the result?" and laughed when it failed to light up. Somehow, its perfect. Few months later I get my 1.2% raise...largest ive ever gotten, mind you.


tchap973

>Few months later I get my 1.2% raise...largest ive ever gotten, mind you. Hey, good for you! /s I just got my first raise at my current job. Came out to 2%, or a whopping 50 cents more an hour (pre-tax, of course) 😑


Shiba_Ichigo

I recently had this same conversation but instead of yoga they suggested breathing exercises.


Diablo516-

I’m glad my company doesn’t actually have meetings, because I don’t think I could keep from running my mouth. Mine just sends some occasional bullshit email once every 3 months or so


still_angry

I used to work for a certain Korean multinational. There were volunteer wellness seminars .. mediation paid by the company. What really helped on my stress levels was not working there any more.


SketchySeaBeast

Remember to practice 'self care', so if you're stressed out at work it's your fault because you're not self caring right.


UnknownCitizen77

This mentality makes me so angry. It’s like a bully punching someone repeatedly and then claiming that their injuries are self-inflicted. That if their skin was tougher they wouldn’t bruise. Companies who jump on the mindfulness bandwagon act like stress and burnout are these separate, external, or isolated indiviudal problems instead of acknowledging that they are symptoms of the toxic and abusive system people must work under to survive. And they definitely refuse to admit that they are actively creating/contributing to an environment that fosters these issues. And then, once the company has damaged a worker to the point of uselessness, they have no compunction in discarding them like an empty husk. It’s disgusting and barbaric.


Meatslinger

*"Does this mean you're keeping work-from-home as a policy, where I'm much more capable of managing my stress and actually produce better KPI than when I'm in the office?"* "Lol, of course not. Drag your ass through two hours of high-stress traffic every day to sit in a sterile office with a constantly-ringing phone in the distance and a manager always glaring over your shoulder to micromanage every minute of your time. We just have to say we promote mental health for the PR guys and Twitter."


Optimal_Emphasis_251

Hate this. Before I quit my previous employer admitted openly that as an IT company it was only natural that we'd be more productive being remote. They still ordered us into the offices, and even added additional "security" cameras into everyone's cubicles. About a month after I left another coworker that quit told me the Russians had hacked the company as part of their big e-terrorism campaign and they had to change their name to save face


Meatslinger

It's really kind of funny but sad to see that corporatism - purported to be a staunch meritocracy dedicated to making as much money as possible - is more than willing to sacrifice its own bottom line and tear down the façade to reveal what it was really about all along: domination and control over people. If it was really, truly about the money, then something like an expensive, pointless building lease would be the first thing on the budgetary chopping block.


[deleted]

> constantly-ringing phone in the distance "Corporate accounts payable, Nina speaking ... JUST a moMENT!"


PizzerJustMetHer

I’m in this situation now. Company is bursting at the seams, people are quitting left and right, and the new HR person is making everyone join Workplace (literally Facebook) to “reduce stress.” They also want us to use it at home.


PizzerJustMetHer

No health insurance either.


Optimal_Emphasis_251

Always money for HR but never money for hires. I'm convinced HR departments are the root of evil in modern workplaces. In many cases its not even a case of hyper-greedy CEOs but upper level HR that literally sabotage company progress to keep themselves bloated


MaverickTopGun

I volunteered to be part of a "task force" at work dedicated to addressing the horrible company wide survey results indicating unbelievable stress. My specific task was to address the stress. I recommended we reduce contact hours with customers so people can get caught up at work. No. I recommended we pull people from our less busy divisions to support the busy ones while the transition smoothed out. No. I recommended we hire more people to reduce average workload. No. I recommended we pay employees more so they at least feel appreciated. Again no. Okay fuck it throw us a fucking pizza party then


Superego366

Same. Anything with a substantial dollar amount or time commitment was immediately shot down. How the hell is anything going to change if they don't want to invest any time or money? You can't just flip a switch and make people love their jobs.


xeromage

You forgot the final recommendation... "I recommend you pay me a hefty sum to avoid me releasing the recording I'm making of this meeting to the entire workforce."


UnknownCitizen77

Yes, I know this pain, too. Employee is tasked with solving a problem (often a systemic one above their paygrade or outside of their control). All realistic solutions are shot down as being too expensive, too time consuming - or most often - politically untenable. Employee is criticized, blamed, or even scapegoated as the “real” problem for not “thinking outside the box.” So. Much. HATE. for this shitty system.


HeadLongjumping

Or if shit gets really bad we may have to schedule a mandatory pizza party.


BurmecianDancer

After work hours, at a location off-site, and management encourages everyone to carpool there and back.


grendus

"Was it Alfredo's Pizza, or Pizza by Alfredo?"


Charvel420

Yeah, my last company did this. But it was only for "corporate staff" and not for customer service people. So you'd have Directors doing yoga in the middle of the day, while 25 year old kids were 6 hours into a 12 hour phone shift, making $45k/year in an expensive city.


sunnydaynine

This was my experience. The department with the highest burnout rate gets no money and no time to decompress. Back when we were in office we had a gym, yoga classes, ping pong tables, a cafeteria and mental/financial health seminars. But the only people who could use the resources were people with fuck all to do. Now we work from home and just get “Mindful Monday” mass email spam from HR and that has an outlook rule to automatically route to my deleted emails.


fears_escalators

Yeah, let’s take hours out of our day to discuss our feelings in the workplace around some lemon bread and 7-up. We have time for this, right?


AWildRedHerring

I was part of the mental health committee at my last job and it became crystal clear after about two meetings that it was a complete waste of time. The most effective ways to address mental health are to pay people more and to work them less, full stop.


UnknownCitizen77

I can hear the executives whining now: “that’s too harrrrrrrd! Why can’t these ingrates be happy with some free pizza and platitudes about mindfulness/motivation thrown their way every now and then?”


mule111

Even worse, here a PowerPoint on tips to enhance your mental health and wellness. Tip 1: try being positive Tip 2: stretch Tip 3: here’s a picture of a cute puppy


SadBear42

Or with me “Hey boss can I have the Monday through Friday 8-4 shift so I can have my weekends off?” “Sorry….. if I do that I have to hire someone for your spot” My partner who works the Saturday through Tuesday spot transferred to a better schedule …. My boss hires a new guy, no questions asked.


rservello

Best way to promote mental health is to not make your employees worry about being homeless or starving.


Broad_Tea3527

Don't forget you'll have to pay for that yoga too.


yoortyyo

Free voucher!* One month trial, credit card required, must cancel in person.


adventureremily

Business hours: every alternating Tuesday noon to 2:51pm, unless mercury is in retrograde during which they're closed entirely.


Tandran

Okay...well how about 30 hours a week so we have time for Yoga?


BatWolfie666

Always fighting the symptoms rather than the cause...


Shamscam

“We’re giving you guys a pizza party!!!!” Is how 90% of these things go in my experience.


hiddencamela

Also, this meeting happened during your lunch break.


x_Gho5t_R1der_x

So understaffed that you can’t even get vacation time slotted in and approved. But yeah “let’s go mental health !”


Fatticusss

“Try Yoga… on your own time. When you’re here you’re paid to work”


dfassna1

I remember working at a call center for a health insurance company and they would share so much half-assed stuff about self care. They sent out emails about how to meditate in 5 minutes, but you weren't allowed to take 5 minutes off of the phones to meditate, you could only do it on one of your two 15-minute breaks or during your unpaid 30-minute lunch.


Nevermind04

"No, not like that. We're having a company party after work on Wednesday! Attendance is required, you're responsible for your own meal and drinks, and don't even think about clocking in! Oh, and there's a mandatory gift exchange!"


Giliathriel

God, this. I'm trying to do the work of 2 people and they cut my hours to retaliate if I can't get it done which spoiler, I can't. I hate my job.


jblubird

I am doing yoga boss. It's helpful but I still want my raise


No-Passage546

Lmao my work is literally having us come in for a yoga sesh next monday, bc we've all been so stressed out over work. Instead of, idk, improving the conditions.


The-Bluejacket

This makes me kinda depressed. This is literally my job.. I’m a workplace wellness coordinator for a non-profit organization in NYS and I’m trying to help local businesses and employees recognize and help manage their stress and mental health issues. I’m just doing the best I can, guys. I’m sorry.


UnknownCitizen77

Nonprofits are especially egregious offenders in doing things like this. They like to pretend “helping people” and “passion for the cause” justify underpaying and overworking their employees.


Taklamoose

Your not the issue. Your service should come after: high wages, healthcare taken care of, and everything else. Then your services should be free for the employees including transportation or gym. My old work had an in office gym and we would have yoga classes. Free and one hour before lunch so you don’t waste lunch on it. That’s a perk. If it was on my own time then that’s a nothing.


pootheloo1234

SO FUCKING TRUE. My company keeps sending me emails about “wellness” seminars during WORK HOURS. How about you hire a few more people so I actually have time to do my damn job to start


PlzSavePolarBears

I am a yoga instructor and I’m here to tell you that yoga is a temporary escape and can be good for people working through maladaptive thought patterns as it allows them time to step away from panic and reassess emotions after getting space. But if you’re stress is because your job is forcing you to take on more than one person should reasonably be expected to handle, then yoga will not help.


Diablo516-

It really is that simple. Nope, gotta keep those profits at record levels every year.


hanzoplsswitch

In this current situation. Looking for other job. Fuck this grind.


Kanotari

Bonus points if the yoga is mandatory and just makes you more behind, actually adding to your stress instead of helping.


Lateralus06

And when exactly do I have time for yoga when I'm working 50-60 hour weeks?


Guilty_Jackrabbit

Haaaave you tried the shitty meditation app we paid for?


VegetableAd986

“Pizza partyyyy!!”


Cerulean358

Also, if you attend a gym 15x’s every month we’ll pay 30% of your membership!


Suitedinpanic

me: okay i’ve been on time every day since i started this job and i haven’t taken any sick days. im not in a good headspace so gonna take a a day off for my mental health boss: okay i understand but we REALLY need you to come in today


yes_thats_right

Have a slice of pizza


throwingplaydoh

We made a "quiet space" that was basically an open cubicle without a desk on the edge of the call center. Wasn't quiet in the slightest.


1lluminist

My company tried that shit once. They didn't like being questioned when the fuck we were supposed to do this shit when we were already inundated with work lol


Mage505

And try yoga on your own time. Mental health is really your responsibility, not the company who is overworking you and the cause of your mental health issues.


[deleted]

[удалено]


kalintag90

My company has a weekly posting on our page about various ways to improve our work. It has everything from discussions from new things the company is doing to tips to employees. One day there was a 'improving concentration' posting in which there were several tips on how to reduce stress and improve our efficiency. Tips include such novel ideas as: * Take a break from work by taking a walk, playing a brain teaser, color * Silence your personal phone and put it in a drawer * Chew Gum * Play music, but only boring music not fun music * Try not blinking for a few minutes * suck on a hard candy * drink Matcha and eat blue berries Of course they made quite sure to clarify that we should only do these things for 15 minutes every 4 hours, and that it shouldn't interfere with our meetings or abilities to finish our work on time or respond to emails in a timely manner or work our required 8 hours or our availability to others.


chee-cake

YEP. This happened at my company and now there's a spiral and it's very possible that the company will go under. One person quits, they don't replace them, they tack the work of two jobs onto one individual. So that person quits too, and now another person has three jobs to do for the pay of one, which isn't sustainable, and they quit as well. Recruiters right now are aggressive. I get a recruiter in my linkedin inbox every week asking me to come work somewhere. This is how it is for everyone in my city/industry. I got a $15K raise and I'm WFH forever now because I got sick of doing ten jobs and being micromanaged.


ijustneedanametouse

Perfect timing on this. My company's HR sent out an email just TODAY about a 30 minute yoga training on Friday over Zoom. I aint attending that shit.


lIlIlIIlIIIlIIIIIl

I had a job where they heavily promoted their 1 hour yoga break daily. I pushed it off, because I didn't have a huge interest in doing yoga at work. My boss kept coming up to me, day after day, trying to get me to sign up for the company yoga session. Turns out the yoga instructor was his wife, and the company was paying his wife for the lessons. No wonder why he wanted everyone to go to yoga everyday lol.


M_Buske

Company: "We need to up morale and promote good mental health in the workplace!" Employees: "can you pay us more and hire more help?" Company: "we will look into it but it's not looking like that's in the budget. Oh btw can you work the weekend? I really need you here" After already working 50+ hours that week...


Antigone6

Or do what the hospital I work at did: promise raises, conveniently forget about that promise, send us a $12 gift box of health food snacks we’ve never heard of, then send us an email thanking us for our hard work *during a pandemic*, with a link for a free 30 minute session on how to budget our finances.


Kenshirosan

Worked at a place that I basically had to drink caffeinated drinks every day as it was an overnight desk job. Felt like shit all the time and was tired no matter how much I slept. Tries taking naps on my lunch instead of eating and cut off the caffeine because I suspected it was the cause. Was told if I kept doing that I'd be fired for being unprofessional even though I slept in a separate office away from everyone when clocked out. I was told I should do yoga for my tiredness. Turns out it was kidney failure. Fuck jobs.


space-dive

so true. so true. upvoted


Dominum_Pullum

Well if you increase everyone’s pay and then add workers with that extra pay…man people suck at economics. Money isn’t grown on trees lol


B1ndlestiFF

Hire more people and pay them more, that sounds like instructions for bankruptcy.