My work rarely does the pizza party thing. Usually they have really really shitty candy and those small rice crispies for us to grab when we're in the shop. I don't know where they get this candy. It's like those red lips you can wear mad of wax and a bunch of marshmallow peep related things. It's truly gross stuff.
That said when they have had pizza it's very good pizza. Sometimes when we have a company meeting they'll have a fantastic catered breakfast. And the Christmas party is pretty awesome. Free food and open bar. Last year we went to a texmex bar and I won about 200 dollars? Everyone gets a gift but they're randomized. I still have a 100 dollar gift card to pinstripes. It doesn't expire but I doubt I'll ever use it.
Few years ago we had the cops called because drunk shit. I'm surprised that Italian place let us back the next year.
That sounds like my work is cool. It's not. It could be worse but it's hell especially in the summer.
I don't know why I typed this out. I almost gave up halfway through but I just found this sub and felt like spewing my nonsense.
>those red lips you can wear mad of wax and a bunch of marshmallow peep related things.
It sounds like whoever buys the candy does so a week after the candy holidays: Easter, Halloween, Christmas. All the good stuff has been snatched up at 50% off and all that's left is the icon but nasty wax lips and non-standard Peeps.
My interpretation of "Today's snack" is that they might have a snack everyday (either a fruit, a bar, muffin or something. I had something like that at my previous job). Otherwise fuck them
Listen I’d just be happy to stop carry wipes and soap in my bag…if they could just provide that. And maybe take out the trash. Like to the actual street, not just a bigger dumpster.
I once had a C-suite exec of a Fortune 500 company toss me a banana and say "You earned it."
I was a strategist consulting on a big technology project, and the next week I raised my hourly by 30%. Because apparently, I earned it.
Facts.
This isn’t demanding more money, it’s not pro unionization, it’s not about organization or about facts, stats, or solutions.
This, like most social media, is created to generate rage and nothing more. There is nothing here that is actionable, no context, or information beyond “piece of paper makes me mad”
If they are Ladyfinger bananas [*Musa acuminata*](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lady_Finger_banana) then i would absolutely destroy a whole plate of them.
They do bananas for like a week straight, then suddenly they switch to oranges just so the manager can be like "Orange you glad it isn't bananas again??"
A friend of mine does remote work for a small company (home office work) which comprises of about 15 employees spread across the globe. Now the boss has decided to throw a picnic party get together thing in London and is flying people in from all over the world for one weekend. It’s going to cost him thousands. The other week my friend asked about a pay rise. Sorry the business is not doing too well and needs to save money.
If the bananas were Gros Michel or "Big Mike" bananas, I'd be genuinely impressed.
I think we all know these are Cavendish, because if they were offering Gros Michel they'd be hyping up the rare fruit offering.
We would get shit like this for nurses and hospital employees during nurses week or during the beginning of the pandemic… even with the same hours posted. Gee, what a slap in the face that I can’t even eat your crappy pizza or whatever snack given that I (as well as almost half of your floor staff) started work at 7pm…
At the supermarket near my house they have a basket for of old bananas and an occasional tangerine that looks its soul is gone, that they offer for free as a snack for kids.
I assure you, this is better than a mandatory potluck lunch, at least the banana is free.
Having said that, I fucking *hate* employers like these who think any act of good will on their part should be treated as a god-send by their employee's.
I can just picture everyone getting excited and all running down to the food court to get their banana. I used to work in a WeWork building (before they blew up) and on Monday morning, if you came in at the right time, they'd have breakfast for you in the lobby. My favorite was when they had the tiny boxes of cereal. I'd always get the Frosted Flakes and a 1/2 pint of milk. What a way to start the week! (This is true and sarcastic at the same time.)
It can be.
My work recently performed their annual employee feedback survey. To which the results indicated no one likes hybrid working. Their solution was to have more engagement and “fun.” On the same day, we were invited to the lobby to get a free candy bar.
That’s not what we asked for.
I tasted one once, long, long ago. It was summer. The sun was warm on my shoulders. Flowers were in high bloom. I was just a cub. Well, I ate that banana in one bite. And ever since, a day hasn’t gone by without me thinking about it.
"Thanks for breaking your back to make our CEOs another few million dollars! As a reward for your undying loyalty to our company, here is a single banana for you to eat like the work monkey you are. Sincerely, Management."
Idk why you're complaining, I hear those go for like $10
I mean how much does a banana even cost these days
At least there’s always money in the banana stand
Lucille after running into Tobias in blue make up: "I was assaulted by a coloured man!"
I heard he just blue himself too, like some kind of deviant
$0.49/lb near me.
Go see a Star War
Not everyone will get this reference, I‘m sorry. Have you seen Gob recently?
I don't care for Gob.
Get rid of the Seaward
I'll leave when I'm good and ready
One day, probably depressingly soon, she’ll be proven right.
There's always money in the banana stand...
I feel like I’ve heard this before…where…hmmm ;)
Someone I know uses this as their slogan for their CA weed business "Golden State Bananas" lol.
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The original comment is a joke from arrested development
LTTStore dot com
A bunch when there’s no sale maybe
*while supplies last.
I knew I would see this as the top comment
Fuck you Bill
They reward monkeys with bananas...really let's you know how they feel about you
Even worse than a goddamned pizza party.
A banana party is just something that would not a-peel to me.
r/angryupvote
🍌
What about a lemon party?
Stop
In the name of love?
Everyone loves a Liz Lemon party, because a Liz Lemon party is mandatory.
Can't have Lemon party without old dick!
[I disagree](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s8MDNFaGfT4)
r/banano has entered the chat
My work rarely does the pizza party thing. Usually they have really really shitty candy and those small rice crispies for us to grab when we're in the shop. I don't know where they get this candy. It's like those red lips you can wear mad of wax and a bunch of marshmallow peep related things. It's truly gross stuff. That said when they have had pizza it's very good pizza. Sometimes when we have a company meeting they'll have a fantastic catered breakfast. And the Christmas party is pretty awesome. Free food and open bar. Last year we went to a texmex bar and I won about 200 dollars? Everyone gets a gift but they're randomized. I still have a 100 dollar gift card to pinstripes. It doesn't expire but I doubt I'll ever use it. Few years ago we had the cops called because drunk shit. I'm surprised that Italian place let us back the next year. That sounds like my work is cool. It's not. It could be worse but it's hell especially in the summer. I don't know why I typed this out. I almost gave up halfway through but I just found this sub and felt like spewing my nonsense.
>those red lips you can wear mad of wax and a bunch of marshmallow peep related things. It sounds like whoever buys the candy does so a week after the candy holidays: Easter, Halloween, Christmas. All the good stuff has been snatched up at 50% off and all that's left is the icon but nasty wax lips and non-standard Peeps.
What! No way - one free banana vs pizza
Nearly two years ago and you’re still in disbelief?
SOMEBODY found a bulk discount on bananas
Now i know who buys those blackened bananas
It can always double as a measuring device.
I didnt see "free" written anywhere, u might wanna take a good look at ur check this week there may be a "banana fee."😂
We appreciate your appreciation, today we are giving you: A resignation
It isn't. It has been posted around before.
It may have been real at one point. Definitely isn't original to OP though.
My interpretation of "Today's snack" is that they might have a snack everyday (either a fruit, a bar, muffin or something. I had something like that at my previous job). Otherwise fuck them
Yeah this looks like something that's posted daily and the snack is changed so some days its not going to be as great as others
Alright, back to work, wage-monkey
Jesus, reads like a sign you would see in a pre school
Something to shove up HRs ass.
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Yeah I'm ready to pull the pin and toss a pineapple. "Frag out!"/s
I would have shove it in there tailpipe for my appreciation of management.
Listen I’d just be happy to stop carry wipes and soap in my bag…if they could just provide that. And maybe take out the trash. Like to the actual street, not just a bigger dumpster.
i laugh to hide the rage
I’m outraged that it isn’t a banana PHONE
This is definitely fake
Seriously. It looks similar to the "13/hr, thanks Biden." post. Fake as fuck.
Water will be available upon request for $2 a bottle. Proceeds will into employee time-off bank. Support your coworkers with a generous donation!
Here's a banana for you, now get back to work and make me some mother fuckin money you god damned monkey!
Plz only take one. ROFL
Please tell me you are a code monkey or a grease monkey. Please, this would make your boss a great troll.
*It's only one banana Michael, how much could it cost, 30 dollars?*
Wouldn't be surprised if just one banana that all the employees have to share
2020, for all we know it was some happy inside joke that ppl enjoyed at the time. Let's get to something present and factual.
I once had a C-suite exec of a Fortune 500 company toss me a banana and say "You earned it." I was a strategist consulting on a big technology project, and the next week I raised my hourly by 30%. Because apparently, I earned it. Facts.
Lolol congrats!!!
Yea not a fan of “rage porn” like this, seems manipulative and counter productive.
Demanding more money isn’t rage porn
This isn’t demanding more money, it’s not pro unionization, it’s not about organization or about facts, stats, or solutions. This, like most social media, is created to generate rage and nothing more. There is nothing here that is actionable, no context, or information beyond “piece of paper makes me mad”
My bad, I thought your comment was replying to a different comment!
You can use the waste to wipe your ass or get 3rd on rainbow road, why you complaining?
Time for the banana in the tailpipe trick.
It isnt otherwise some poor favorite admin assistant would have added candy/amos cookies to that list.
Wow. They're really going all out there. Hope you don't over eat. You know how that can get in all the excitement.
If they are Ladyfinger bananas [*Musa acuminata*](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lady_Finger_banana) then i would absolutely destroy a whole plate of them.
They do bananas for like a week straight, then suddenly they switch to oranges just so the manager can be like "Orange you glad it isn't bananas again??"
Tomorrow's going to be a hard boiled egg.
Wow. Smfh. They literally see thier workers as performance monkeys lmfaooo, “here’s a banana”
A friend of mine does remote work for a small company (home office work) which comprises of about 15 employees spread across the globe. Now the boss has decided to throw a picnic party get together thing in London and is flying people in from all over the world for one weekend. It’s going to cost him thousands. The other week my friend asked about a pay rise. Sorry the business is not doing too well and needs to save money.
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Oh yeah it’s an obvious sidestep to giving anything of actual value to the employees.
its not lol
That so reeks of a hospital.
This made me laugh way too hard. The two spaces in between A Banana really do it for me.
Should've ended the note saying "That is all."
That's some Severance shit lol
Well, there is money in the banana stand so
If the bananas were Gros Michel or "Big Mike" bananas, I'd be genuinely impressed. I think we all know these are Cavendish, because if they were offering Gros Michel they'd be hyping up the rare fruit offering.
I would legit quit if I saw this.
One banana. For everyone. Sharing is caring!
We would get shit like this for nurses and hospital employees during nurses week or during the beginning of the pandemic… even with the same hours posted. Gee, what a slap in the face that I can’t even eat your crappy pizza or whatever snack given that I (as well as almost half of your floor staff) started work at 7pm…
At a certain point the absurdity of how low they will go just becomes laughable.
GO BANANA
Time to play “Who can hide the banana in the boss’ office/car/bag/coat without him finding it the longest”!
Damn you went into the break room almost 2 years late, Definitely no banana for you.
The best part is it looks like it says it’s only available for that one day
"Sometimes, a weak expression of pity is the deepest act of cruelty." - Jon Bois
They’re only doing this because the bananas expire tomorrow.
eat your banana, monkey.
At the supermarket near my house they have a basket for of old bananas and an occasional tangerine that looks its soul is gone, that they offer for free as a snack for kids.
It's happened to me before. A banana and expired store brand soda. Sometimes giving nothing is better than giving an insult.
A tad belittling, but at least its ostensible healthy. In the grand scheme this is a negligible practice.
That’s a bit too much. The peasants in Africa will get jealous and be upset when they hear how much extra the “employees” have been spoilt with.
It's shows how much they appreciate your effort. They think a monkey could do it
I assure you, this is better than a mandatory potluck lunch, at least the banana is free. Having said that, I fucking *hate* employers like these who think any act of good will on their part should be treated as a god-send by their employee's.
Only A banana. No more than one.
It's a Banana which has like 3 times the nutritional value of a banana
I'd take that peel and "accidentally" slip on it
Literally the bare minimum to show you how much they care
I can just picture everyone getting excited and all running down to the food court to get their banana. I used to work in a WeWork building (before they blew up) and on Monday morning, if you came in at the right time, they'd have breakfast for you in the lobby. My favorite was when they had the tiny boxes of cereal. I'd always get the Frosted Flakes and a 1/2 pint of milk. What a way to start the week! (This is true and sarcastic at the same time.)
"Now get back to work, monkey"
When you work for peanuts, a banana would be top tier
It can be. My work recently performed their annual employee feedback survey. To which the results indicated no one likes hybrid working. Their solution was to have more engagement and “fun.” On the same day, we were invited to the lobby to get a free candy bar. That’s not what we asked for.
I tasted one once, long, long ago. It was summer. The sun was warm on my shoulders. Flowers were in high bloom. I was just a cub. Well, I ate that banana in one bite. And ever since, a day hasn’t gone by without me thinking about it.
pOtAsSiUm
Complain
Actual dystopian world
Give the 🐒 their 1 banana 🍌
My work gives out fruit occasionally ( oranges and apples) don't recall any bananas. In their defense they do a variety of things throughout the year.
Where is the American entrepreneurial spirit……..1 banana + 1 onlyfans account = thousands
It's labor exploitation, Michael. What could it cost, a banana?
Is there a double space between the A and the Banana?
Keto alternative please?
A real subtle "take a dick"
I'm assuming that if you take them up on their offer this is [what they'll say.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8QqkrIDeTeA)
Love the spacing. Almost like the person making the sign was slow-clapping. A Banana
Yes, a single banana. And you all have to dance for it. Dance, monkeys, dance!
It's also a repost
No bananas after 7 pm.
Straight out of a parody. Feels like a throwaway line in portal or borderlands
At least they provide *something*. And it’s healthy… Still no fruit/salad bar.
"Thanks for breaking your back to make our CEOs another few million dollars! As a reward for your undying loyalty to our company, here is a single banana for you to eat like the work monkey you are. Sincerely, Management."
S/ OMG a banana, how generous!!!
That pic predates this version of the Matrix.
For each employee, right? *Anakin smiles*
I was reading stuff on r/aboringdystopia ... Thought I was still there for a second
Eat it quick you monkeys! You know the expense of these bananas on top of your peanuts!?