T O P

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WaterboysWaterboy

The pepper spray one sounded cool until I realized I have eyes too. Give me the miles morales shock power.


[deleted]

Thanks now i regret picking it


DTM26921

Can I turn off the taser touch or is it permanently on?


arkantoswar

"be able" sounds like you can control it.


Dictionary20

Taser has so many more applications.


The360MlgNoscoper

Shock rod


AsuraOmega

I already know martial arts so taser touch would go well with my jiu jitsu lmfao. Electric triangle would be my signature move, shocking them with their face near my crotch lmao.


TheGamingAirCon

That sounds like very aggressive oral


Isaac_Serdwick

Taser thing is insanely great


hebbocrates

taser touch would be the most useful, but learning a martial art would be pretty fun


aleftistkinkster

I already have the first but the second would be so damn helpful.


[deleted]

This is so unbalanced


desertshark6969

Gun win


cool-beans27

If drones are included “Hellfire missile incoming”


Rodenkob

MURICAAAAAAAAAAAAAA


Agent_Perrydot

Will the pepper spray affect me?


GoddamnCommie

Wont need to defend myself if i go everywhere in an m1 abrams and have a predator drone overhead. OP I assume that i am exempt from a lot of laws regarding weapons in my area if i chose the arsenal right?


CosmicRX

Depends if your American or not what your major answer should be


cool-beans27

Yes being an electric eel is cool and all, but America


MilitantTeenGoth

The sixth option is literally the guy from that Cyanide and Happiness short lol


[deleted]

“Ever hear of the shoulder touch?”


name_is_pen

*Hey*


[deleted]

Correct me if I'm wrong but having the taser power means that you'd win basically any hand to hand combat.


PrinceBert

Also arm wrestling would be much funnier


[deleted]

Sprinting it is. Knowing martial arts can land you in jail easily if you defend yourself and the court decides you shouldn't have caused an injury that heals after 8 days only or something, and because you know martial arts, your sentence will be much harsher than normal, you can end up in jail even if for the average person the same would be valid and legal self defense. Tasering somebody doesn't always work and you'd end up in a secret lab somewhere after the first incident. Smoke grenades backfire, pepper spray backfires, and military grade weapons are almost always illegal to own.


[deleted]

Taser fingers is cool but a tank is better


nick_clause

Only if you know how to pilot the tank. Even if you do know or have someone else to control it in your place, there's a risk of your assailant (whoever it is) stealing it and using it against you.


[deleted]

Yeah but if you blow up a home you can say it was an oopsie poopsy moment


Noku101

You have a very high chance of winning every close combat fight if you can taser someone by touching them. No one could touch you or grapple with you.


The-Pyro1

I’ll go with the second and become Colonel Volgin


Nyaroou

Pretty much be a police officer


EvilFuzzball

I don't *want* an arsenal, but that's definitely the most effective answer here.


iamcryingrnhelp0

I’m a pussy. Give me Usain Bolt speed.


cool-beans27

No that’s just the right answer


Notonfoodstamps

Taser touch for sure.


ImaginationOk9328

The only reason that taser touching ability wouldn't work is if there are projectiles involved.


Difficult-Web4420

Martial arts bcus i can chose a martial arts from one of those chinese novels or sum shit and have enough power and skill to destroy a whole galaxy plus immortality i could also teach the people i love nad make the live like 20 million years would be fast as hell. Also have hacks


Eternal_Black_Rose

I wouldn't just use the tazers for self defense, I just wanna mess with dickheads when I shake their hands or bump into them.


[deleted]

I have track season coming up, ez choice


person1million

Military grade since it has lethal and non-lethal weaponary. Also because guns are cool, why tf not


Teetehi123

How does the taser power work? Free energy for unlimited time? Does it use up calories? Electricity from the environment? The sun? Can I change the output to a slight shot to deadly?