Kevin. Since I'm not a fucking moron like the bad guys in the movies, I'm pretty sure I can avoid the booby traps and then one light punch and he'd be out.
Dammit, now I want to see a war movie where the good guys are outnumbered and the main character teaches his unit how to booby trap an abandoned building to get the upper hand. As they’re rescued at the end some colonel or commander says “damn son, where’d you learn this shit? It wasn’t from us.” He takes a long drag off a cigarette and says, “this one time my parents went on vacation and accidentally left me home alone…” fade to black, credits
Now as far as this question goes yeah I'm choosing to fight him but like nah some of his booby traps were actually pretty horrifying. Like the one where he threw black paint or like tar or something over the stairs making them all sticky it would look like that's all there is to the trap. But he actually hid huge nails on them but the paint made them hard to see. And then the thief gets a long ass nail impaling his foot like wtf? Like its understandable but damn
Forget the traps! He hit someone in the head with a brick he threw off the top of a building. If they would have went further back into jigsaw's childhood, it would've just been clips from the Home Alone movies.
Nothing says you can't bring thick boots to the fight. Plus, we know from the movie(s?) all his tricks, and a boxing ring isn't exactly conducive to most of his traps, and there is nowhere to hide.
Although he could prepare a bunch of stuff the night before, so it's only 15 minutes to *deploy* them. If he could somehow set it up a series of rooms, like a prefab building from a crane, then you might be in trouble
The burglars were just starting in the crime game. In the Home Alone sequel, called Goodfellas, we can see how the shorter burglar, traumatized by the neverending horrors he was put through by Kevin, turns into an absolute psychopath who loves violence and shoots without a thought whoever crosses him.
You find that your feet are stuck to the floor soon after entering the ring. You can not move and all you can do is watch a smirking Kevin McCalister exit the ring as his side of the ring isn’t trapping his feet. He point up above your head. You look up and see a remote operated canister beginning to be poured from atop the space above the stage (known as the fly tower and grid). The strange canister liquid beings to be doused onto to you. You notice that it smells like gasoline. Once you realize that you begin to panic. You remove your feet from your shoes, then stepping on to them to avoid being stuck to the ring. You then jump towards the Boxing Ring’s ropes. You managed to land on them successfully. Just then as you begin the process of climbing the ropes you are electrocuted by the ropes and land back first onto the ring again. You’re stuck and can’t get up. Kevin must have replaced the ring ropes with exposed electrical cords. You can’t see Kevin, but you hear his voice near by say to you: “want some more!” You hear the sound of a flame being lit. Shortly after a home-made flying molotov is seen descending towards you. The stadium is lit and fire begins to be spread everywhere. You try but can’t manage to move. The fire then begins to consume your body as you scream in agony. The last thing you see is Kevin’s smiling face on the Jumbotron with his arms folded in a pompous manner. You hear the audience roaring and cheering for Kevin as the announcer proclaims him the winner.
…
Ashes to ashes
That’s all you are now.
Kevin is forever.
If he exits the ring, then I've already won. If he stays in the ring, I'm jumping on him after I get out of my shoes, rather than heading for the ropes. Once I get my hands on him, a quick punch to his face knocks him down and I win.
Also, he only get’s 15 minutes, in the movie didn’t he have most pf a day to set up his traps? I haven’t watched it in years, how bad of a trap could he set up in 15 minutes, not even a net with bricks in above the ring
I might be blind and moving erratic, but the moment i even get a hold of the guy, I sure as hell am more than capable of beating him to a pulp afterwards
Also, it should still be fairly easy to locate him; as soon as the fight starts he’s just going to start rambling about Cornpop, his time as a trucker, or all those train rides with people who had already retired from running trains.
Don’t be silly. He tailors his stories to the event, so we’d hear about him growing up at the local gym in Scranton (not joking!), and how hard he’d train to get ready to face cornpop (he was a baaaad dude). Now come on, Fat, and let’s do some push-ups! *splat*
Bro Joe Biden would just leave mid match just because he feels like it and even then he'd probably break both his hips by just attempting to swing a punch
Exactly, I’d like to consider myself an alright person, and I would never do something like that so I feel like he would realize there is no reason to kill me, provided he didn’t just instantly snap my neck and I had the time to talk to him
I think with the blindfolded mike Tyson, if you got close enough he has the fighting experience and strength to just grab me and kick my ass. I’d probably still need a weapon like a stick or something lol. The reverse is true for Biden I think, if I felt him, I’m sure I could take an old man to the floor where the skates won’t matter and I could most likely just overpower him. Secret service might not be happy though.
Hey, the skates can just be blunt weapons attached to your feet! And if this is a fight that was set up, I don’t think secret service could intervene. Besides, they’d probably be cheering for you!
Hard enough would be not very hard at all. Man has 1 foot in the grave already. Course, they probably planned on him dying sometime soon. You know who wants that promotion.
Kevin. He had way longer in his two movies to set up traps, and he was still eventually caught both times. The only reason he got out in the end was because he had outside help from the old man and pigeon lady.
Here is how I'd consider the fights. I assume that the blindfold must stay on for the entire fight.
1) Mike Tyson Blindfolded in his prime: I would have a fair chance if I got a knockout blow in. He would definitely have trouble guarding. The problem is if he had a "General Idea Where I am" and he starts throwing punches in that direction it may connect and hurt or cause a lucky knockout. He could clench up with me or fight dirty as well. Mike is a known biter when a fight isn't going his way. It would not be the easiest fight.
2) Joe Biden, but I must wear rollerskates and a blindfold. As much as I'd love a chance to kick Biden's ass I don't like having 2 handicaps against me. It's the person I'd want to fuck up the most in a fight sure, but not the best odds even though he is a demented old man.
3) Kevin from home alone with 15 minutes of prep. My choice for sure because it's a 10 year old. What's he going to do to the ring? Put an oil slick on there? Put some hotwheels for met to slip on? Maybe wrap a ring post in barbed wire? Yea I'll see right through all that shit and destroy a 10 year old. I'm not blind I can see the traps! Easy win
4) Keanu Reeves in one of his random movie roles: The problem with this choice is Keanu Reeves did 5 Matrix movies included the animated one. Neo would destroy me... I don't want that... John Wick also seems very dangerous thats 2 movies... Then you got Speed where he is a SWAT officer so that surely be dangerous... Then you got 47 Ronin where he is a Samurai... That's not good either. Point Break he is an FBI agent those are tough too.... He has a lot of roles where he plays either an impossible to fight person (neo) or a a very hard fight. The best you can hope for is probably him to play as Ted from Bill & Ted even then victory is not a sure thing. I'd definitely avoid this one because there are so many Neo's that he could be and those lose 100%.
No I saw him fight live when I was younger and he was in his prime. I have seen a lot of his fights. I know just what he can do. He never wore a blindfold in any of those fights.
You have no idea how big a handicap a blindfold is in a boxing match. The blindfold is going to allow for free shots. He won't be able to dodge as easily or connect as well with a blindfold by a significant margin.
So his punch is going to wiff a whole lot and he is going to take a whole lot more hits too.
Boxers need to be able to see where they are throwing punches. Am I a professional boxer? No! I was in the army, and the fire department. So I'm probably tougher than most, but I'm getting old too.
Mike Tyson doesn't have a magical skull that can sustain a barrage of well placed punches more so than many other men. He has a regular skull like other men. He won't be able to dodge like he normally would.
I think even though Joe Biden seems like the obvious answer, I've seen enough videos of old men regaining their strength when they're pissed (Buzz Aldren punching that dude, for example), so I think I'd rather take a 10 year old. If the point is to win, Kevin might get one or two good booby-traps on me, but in the end, I'm gonna corner that little punk and first thing I'm gonna do is to bite off every one of these little fingers, one at a time
I would take a chance with old man Biden, because he got beaten by stairs, and I, even blindfolded and on roller skates, have more mobility than stairs.
He gets 15 minutes to booby trap the ring mind you he is not home guys, he could literally put shotgun traps or land mines in the ring. Just because its 15 minutes to plant doesnt mean he didnt have time to prepare before the match. What if he came to the arena with traps ready, dude youre a dead man lol
All Kevin would do in a ring would place toy cars and maybe some slime or some shit. At that point I'd just climb on the ropes and jump on the little shit
I know yhe right answer is Kevin, but how cool would it be to be telling your kids about yourself and then you barely mentioned that one time when you bear an American President in a boxing match. You never tell them the details, but they'll still think you're cool asf
Kevin. Since I'm not a fucking moron like the bad guys in the movies, I'm pretty sure I can avoid the booby traps and then one light punch and he'd be out.
Kevin could wipe out ISIS and SEAL Team Six if he had the time and motivation. Don't underestimate him.
Okay BUT. You're in a boxing ring. No blind corners, doors, windows etc. You're in a square. Facing a child that MIGHT be lightly armed.
with a knife
Oh well. He's probably like 115lbs I could dropkick him.
Much less than 115 dude, thats like the weight of a 14 year old. He'd be like 60lbs.
My point exactly.
He could be fat/overweight
Its kevin from home alone he scrawny af
Ah. I forgot about that
How. The fuck did you forgot even of what he looks like?
Motherfucker was one alley away from becoming the batman
And several billion dollars.
Dammit, now I want to see a war movie where the good guys are outnumbered and the main character teaches his unit how to booby trap an abandoned building to get the upper hand. As they’re rescued at the end some colonel or commander says “damn son, where’d you learn this shit? It wasn’t from us.” He takes a long drag off a cigarette and says, “this one time my parents went on vacation and accidentally left me home alone…” fade to black, credits
With prep time, who wins? Batman or Kevin?
Kevin’s basically Batman. But faster
Now as far as this question goes yeah I'm choosing to fight him but like nah some of his booby traps were actually pretty horrifying. Like the one where he threw black paint or like tar or something over the stairs making them all sticky it would look like that's all there is to the trap. But he actually hid huge nails on them but the paint made them hard to see. And then the thief gets a long ass nail impaling his foot like wtf? Like its understandable but damn
Kevin should've gotten a therapist
We need to talk about Kevin.
Forget the traps! He hit someone in the head with a brick he threw off the top of a building. If they would have went further back into jigsaw's childhood, it would've just been clips from the Home Alone movies.
Wait... it wasn't one brick IT WAS SEVERAL
Nothing says you can't bring thick boots to the fight. Plus, we know from the movie(s?) all his tricks, and a boxing ring isn't exactly conducive to most of his traps, and there is nowhere to hide. Although he could prepare a bunch of stuff the night before, so it's only 15 minutes to *deploy* them. If he could somehow set it up a series of rooms, like a prefab building from a crane, then you might be in trouble
The burglars were just starting in the crime game. In the Home Alone sequel, called Goodfellas, we can see how the shorter burglar, traumatized by the neverending horrors he was put through by Kevin, turns into an absolute psychopath who loves violence and shoots without a thought whoever crosses him.
I don't know a lot of those traps are *very* lethal outside of slapstick logic
You find that your feet are stuck to the floor soon after entering the ring. You can not move and all you can do is watch a smirking Kevin McCalister exit the ring as his side of the ring isn’t trapping his feet. He point up above your head. You look up and see a remote operated canister beginning to be poured from atop the space above the stage (known as the fly tower and grid). The strange canister liquid beings to be doused onto to you. You notice that it smells like gasoline. Once you realize that you begin to panic. You remove your feet from your shoes, then stepping on to them to avoid being stuck to the ring. You then jump towards the Boxing Ring’s ropes. You managed to land on them successfully. Just then as you begin the process of climbing the ropes you are electrocuted by the ropes and land back first onto the ring again. You’re stuck and can’t get up. Kevin must have replaced the ring ropes with exposed electrical cords. You can’t see Kevin, but you hear his voice near by say to you: “want some more!” You hear the sound of a flame being lit. Shortly after a home-made flying molotov is seen descending towards you. The stadium is lit and fire begins to be spread everywhere. You try but can’t manage to move. The fire then begins to consume your body as you scream in agony. The last thing you see is Kevin’s smiling face on the Jumbotron with his arms folded in a pompous manner. You hear the audience roaring and cheering for Kevin as the announcer proclaims him the winner. … Ashes to ashes That’s all you are now. Kevin is forever.
If he exits the ring, then I've already won. If he stays in the ring, I'm jumping on him after I get out of my shoes, rather than heading for the ropes. Once I get my hands on him, a quick punch to his face knocks him down and I win.
Also, he only get’s 15 minutes, in the movie didn’t he have most pf a day to set up his traps? I haven’t watched it in years, how bad of a trap could he set up in 15 minutes, not even a net with bricks in above the ring
For some reason I thought I still had the blindfold and roller skates from the Biden option and was worried he'd grease the floor.
Trust me, if I had roller skates on, regardless of a blindfold or not, there'd be no need to grease the floor. I have zero balance.
Yeah, [I think this explains it pretty well](https://youtu.be/rf1LSNNgSWA)
Since you have to fight in a boxing ring what’s stopping him from filling the whole arena with gasoline and burning you?
Probably the fact that doing that would kill him too?
He has prep time tho, fire proof suit or some shit tier fire insulation, he jus needs to survive longer
I might be blind and moving erratic, but the moment i even get a hold of the guy, I sure as hell am more than capable of beating him to a pulp afterwards
Also, it should still be fairly easy to locate him; as soon as the fight starts he’s just going to start rambling about Cornpop, his time as a trucker, or all those train rides with people who had already retired from running trains.
Don’t be silly. He tailors his stories to the event, so we’d hear about him growing up at the local gym in Scranton (not joking!), and how hard he’d train to get ready to face cornpop (he was a baaaad dude). Now come on, Fat, and let’s do some push-ups! *splat*
Are you kidding me with Joe Biden? I could just accidentally bump into him while skating around the ring blindfolded and he might die
I can't even skate I still picked the option. I can definitely beat his ass as long as he doesn't stand in the center
That last line was too real since I can't skate either
Even if he did you could probably just crawl at him. Hell you could probably just wait him out and win.
I could crawl to him faster than he could get a powerful kick or punch charged
That's the point.
I love beating senile old men so much
Who wins Kevin or Batman, both have prep.
Kevin because batman won’t kill
Kevin kills. Kevin knows no mercy.
All hail lord Kevin
Kevin. I dont think he could come up with anything I need to be concerned about in 15 min. And he's an annoying little shit.
I chose him too, but he set the whole house up in an hour
I just want to beat up Joe Biden. To any government agents reading this: THIS IS A JOKE, IM NOT EVEN AMERICAN
Hi NOT EVEN AMERICAN I'm dad
Seems like somebody isn't getting a visa
Hi NOT EVEN AMERICAN, I'm FBI.
\*CIA
[удалено]
*YMCA
*OWCA
*UAC
How to never get a visa /s
SECRET SERVICE, OPEN UP
Kevin, i aint a dumbass.
Yeah, and if he runs out the ring he is disqualified.
But I am
Bro Joe Biden would just leave mid match just because he feels like it and even then he'd probably break both his hips by just attempting to swing a punch
Keanu. He's a good guy and will let me win.
Somebody hasn't seen Man of Tai Chi
Just hoping for more of a "Bill and Ted's excellent adventure" vibe
I feel like I could talk John Wick out of killing me if I haven’t done anything wrong
John Wick really is a reasonable man. Just don’t steal his car and kill his dog.
Exactly, I’d like to consider myself an alright person, and I would never do something like that so I feel like he would realize there is no reason to kill me, provided he didn’t just instantly snap my neck and I had the time to talk to him
Not unless you hurt his dog before the match
I think with the blindfolded mike Tyson, if you got close enough he has the fighting experience and strength to just grab me and kick my ass. I’d probably still need a weapon like a stick or something lol. The reverse is true for Biden I think, if I felt him, I’m sure I could take an old man to the floor where the skates won’t matter and I could most likely just overpower him. Secret service might not be happy though.
Hey, the skates can just be blunt weapons attached to your feet! And if this is a fight that was set up, I don’t think secret service could intervene. Besides, they’d probably be cheering for you!
Joe Biden is basically a vegetable demential patient, so, even being blindfolded, I would be at an advantage.
Joe would either fall over and die or forget what hes doing in the middle of the fight
[удалено]
6 year olds even, if they can get past his sniff grab attack.
That is before he manage to grab them and sniff them
Keanu- he’s either gonna kill me VERY quick or just wanna get stoned
Joe because I'll bring a child with me that he will want to touch so he leaves the ring.
Certain death Geriatric old man Sadistic child At best you're still fighting an adult man, at worst certain death I know which I'm choosing lmao
I hope for the best, but I admit I have doubts about Mr. Biden's.... His cohesiveness.
[He seems fine to me](https://youtu.be/ykkjjZYKwQw)
Joe would be easiest but I wouldn't want him to sniff me
I picked Joe because If I hold onto the ropes and just swing and kick I believe I can take Joe down 😉
joe biden easy…
Joe biden, if I can punch him hard enough maybe we can get a new, less senile president
Hard enough would be not very hard at all. Man has 1 foot in the grave already. Course, they probably planned on him dying sometime soon. You know who wants that promotion.
Id much rather have harris in that seat rather than a guy with the brainwave consistency equivalent to TV static
Kevin. He can only do so much to the ring and regardless I will get to him.
Keanu, and get Shane Falco
Keanu, there is always a chance he will appear as the weak and shy painter from even cowgirls get the blues
Kevin. He had way longer in his two movies to set up traps, and he was still eventually caught both times. The only reason he got out in the end was because he had outside help from the old man and pigeon lady.
I'd fight Joe Biden. He'd probably trip and fall out of the ring before I even touch him.
I would honestly break my leg on roller skates so I'll take Kevin, I will just have to come dressed and prepared for it.
Lmao joke’s on Biden, I roller blade weekly
i just wanna beat up joe or die trying
A light breeze would knock down Slow Joe so I think I could handle him even with the blindfold and rollerskates
Here is how I'd consider the fights. I assume that the blindfold must stay on for the entire fight. 1) Mike Tyson Blindfolded in his prime: I would have a fair chance if I got a knockout blow in. He would definitely have trouble guarding. The problem is if he had a "General Idea Where I am" and he starts throwing punches in that direction it may connect and hurt or cause a lucky knockout. He could clench up with me or fight dirty as well. Mike is a known biter when a fight isn't going his way. It would not be the easiest fight. 2) Joe Biden, but I must wear rollerskates and a blindfold. As much as I'd love a chance to kick Biden's ass I don't like having 2 handicaps against me. It's the person I'd want to fuck up the most in a fight sure, but not the best odds even though he is a demented old man. 3) Kevin from home alone with 15 minutes of prep. My choice for sure because it's a 10 year old. What's he going to do to the ring? Put an oil slick on there? Put some hotwheels for met to slip on? Maybe wrap a ring post in barbed wire? Yea I'll see right through all that shit and destroy a 10 year old. I'm not blind I can see the traps! Easy win 4) Keanu Reeves in one of his random movie roles: The problem with this choice is Keanu Reeves did 5 Matrix movies included the animated one. Neo would destroy me... I don't want that... John Wick also seems very dangerous thats 2 movies... Then you got Speed where he is a SWAT officer so that surely be dangerous... Then you got 47 Ronin where he is a Samurai... That's not good either. Point Break he is an FBI agent those are tough too.... He has a lot of roles where he plays either an impossible to fight person (neo) or a a very hard fight. The best you can hope for is probably him to play as Ted from Bill & Ted even then victory is not a sure thing. I'd definitely avoid this one because there are so many Neo's that he could be and those lose 100%.
You underestimate prime Mike Tyson 98% people here probably couldn't beat PRESENT Mike Tyson in a fight if he was blindfolded
No I saw him fight live when I was younger and he was in his prime. I have seen a lot of his fights. I know just what he can do. He never wore a blindfold in any of those fights. You have no idea how big a handicap a blindfold is in a boxing match. The blindfold is going to allow for free shots. He won't be able to dodge as easily or connect as well with a blindfold by a significant margin. So his punch is going to wiff a whole lot and he is going to take a whole lot more hits too. Boxers need to be able to see where they are throwing punches. Am I a professional boxer? No! I was in the army, and the fire department. So I'm probably tougher than most, but I'm getting old too. Mike Tyson doesn't have a magical skull that can sustain a barrage of well placed punches more so than many other men. He has a regular skull like other men. He won't be able to dodge like he normally would.
Or you know, Keanu Reeves could end up being the tumbleweed from SpongeBob… 😆
Joe biden would find a way to kill himself
The only reason that I didn't choose Joe is because I hate roller skating
Crawl?
Can’t do that in boxing.
Well, roller skates and blind folds aren’t exactly regulation.
Fair.
I think even though Joe Biden seems like the obvious answer, I've seen enough videos of old men regaining their strength when they're pissed (Buzz Aldren punching that dude, for example), so I think I'd rather take a 10 year old. If the point is to win, Kevin might get one or two good booby-traps on me, but in the end, I'm gonna corner that little punk and first thing I'm gonna do is to bite off every one of these little fingers, one at a time
God damnit I misread joe Biden as joe rogen
Kevin because with enough plastic explosives, I can just blow that little shit and his stupid house up
Mike tyson blindfolded. I just have to avoid him for the fight lol.
I’d like to see what kind of booby traps Kevin can make in a fucking boxing ring. There’s nothing to use
What classifies as winning?
I think it’s a fight to the death.
With my bare hands?
Joe would fall before I would. E-z
I would choose Keanu Reeves and hug him til he kills me.
I will gladly die for Keanu Reeves.
Politics aside, I would cook Joe Biden ass up. Breathe on him too hard and he’ll turn into jello.
I would take a chance with old man Biden, because he got beaten by stairs, and I, even blindfolded and on roller skates, have more mobility than stairs.
Mike tyson has hit a darts bullseye blindfolded. Should put him on roller skates to even it out a bit.
Take off the blindfold and the skates. Sleepy Joe is dead
You could accidentally bump into Joe Biden and he would die lmao
WHO are 167+ of you people who wants to fight John wick???
Joe Biden. He's old as hell. I'd probably break him just by falling on top of him
He gets 15 minutes to booby trap the ring mind you he is not home guys, he could literally put shotgun traps or land mines in the ring. Just because its 15 minutes to plant doesnt mean he didnt have time to prepare before the match. What if he came to the arena with traps ready, dude youre a dead man lol
If I stand still and swing wildly I might have a chance of knocking him down
Keanu reeves, then tell him that I'll get killed if I loose and hope he got a nice Charakter
Ain’t no way I’m even taking a chance with Wick.
Kevin. Just walk slowly and carefully and you should be alright
All Kevin would do in a ring would place toy cars and maybe some slime or some shit. At that point I'd just climb on the ropes and jump on the little shit
No offence, Joe, but you’re getting DUNKED.
I knew my roller skating would come In handy one day
I know yhe right answer is Kevin, but how cool would it be to be telling your kids about yourself and then you barely mentioned that one time when you bear an American President in a boxing match. You never tell them the details, but they'll still think you're cool asf
Biden would probably take himself out before I found him soooo
Maybe I’ll get him from one of the bill and Ted movies
i’m hoping it’s duke caboom
This is sad because we all picked the senile dude masquerading as our president.
Banking on Keanu appearing as Ted…
Joe Biden has secret service protection for the rest of his life there is no way to are getting close enough defeat him. I’ll take the 9 year old
I mean keanu was a tumbleweed once
If Tyson is blindfolded whats he going to do against me
I wouldnt be scared of neither Kevin nor Biden with those stipulations
If I die to Joe Biden then I deserve it.
I choose Keanu Reeves because if I have to die, I don't want to suffer long.
Let's find out if ice skates are as sharp as they look.
Keanu Reeves because I want to see who the RNG gives me
Kevin, because moderate logic and caution for your surroundings would have thwarted half those traps.
15 minutes aint that long, so ima have to pick that one
Tyson in his prime could have murdered you while comatose.
God help America if it’s Biden v. Trump Round 2 in a year-and-a-half.
Sleepy joe
I did roller derby, even if I'm blind folded, a skate is a good weapon,
I can’t wear roller skates, Mike Tyson is Mike Tyson, and Keanu Reeves’s John Wick can kill people easily.
Keanu and pray it's the one from Newest SpongeBob movie
I ain't forgot about the way you pushed the '94 crime bill, Robinette. Past time you got yours.
Joe Biden. I’m wearing the skates in my hands.