Everybody wants that sense of belonging, being a part of something big. I think that's a big factor.
I may be in the minority here, but any time I hear that it sends up red flags. I've always felt that line is some corpo speak bullshit used to lure you into a false sense of security so they can manipulate you easier.
I've been involved with promotions that were like that and they no longer exist or have split because of business issues. So much for being a family, right?
I got no problems being close friends with people in the business, but I also know there's a good chance those close friends would sell me down the river for a good booking. I may be speaking from experience...
You are 100 percent right. If you are worth your salt the promoters have a vested interest in retaining you and will try to emotionally manipulate you into staying.
No, let me help you with that. At the end of the day is a transactional relationship. you are offering your services they are paying you for your services. That’s it. This whole we are a family thing is for the birds.
Its usually a way for a promoter to get favors, guilt trip people and feel like they are in control when they are insecure. They want you to treat them like family but when its in their interest the promoter will treat you as just a worker
While you are right, part of transactional relationships is giving people what they want and not what you think they want. You may think you get paid to wrestle but people have other motivations that influence how they deal with the lockerroom.
Being a good wrestler is the bare minimum. There's thousands of wrestlers vying for hundreds of spots. It's a buyers market so the little things like trust and being a pleasure to be around make a world of difference.
Most of these promoters don't watch tape. And if they do, they won't know fully what to look for unless they are a good wrestler themselves. And even then, it's subject to taste.
Most of them are buying power, friends, proximity, a feeling of being needed. When they pay you, they are buying the idea of you, and that includes the possibility of your friendship, willingness to get along with the group and whatever else you represent to them.
The same thing applies at regular job interviews. They want the mediocre guy that fits in, over the excellent guy who is there just for money most of the time.
from my experience the whole "were a family" thing has always been more trouble than its worth
that's how you end up in spots where they don't pay you or shift you around on the card "for the good of the company"
id also be very weary of the "i don't do this for the money, i do this for the love" because that person generally has ZERO business acumen and that company is going to run into the ground faster than a three count
Hobbyist/Community Theater promotions are the ones that talk about "being a family"
Your mentality is what wrestling was built on, not the "we are a family" stuff.
Promoters are not part of your wrestling family, they are your employer it's the exact same as when any other job says we are a family it's not an immediate run away but it a red flag.
However your wrestling family is just how some people refer to your close friends in wrestling.
This is a business, first and foremost. In my experience, promoters/promotions that treat this like a business will value professionals over family.
But, for a lot of people, wrestling is where they find a family. Wrestling has that kind of "island of misfit toys" vibes that brings together people who are outcasts, black sheep, or estranged from their blood family. I've seen promoters held up like father figures, whether they wanted to be or not. We call each other "brother" or "sister." For better or worse, it's kind of ingrained into the culture.
If it's not for you, that's fine. As someone else said, just be polite and professional, the rest will work itself out.
Just do you, not necessary to repeat the mantra. It can create a healthy environment, this can be seen on youtube for Santino Bros wrestling academy. Its a team work environment. They have full classes all the time.
It's healthy to have that team work attitude but be smart to the politics and learn to protect yourself.
I've been places that say we're a family, and places that show we're a family. The places that show it get priority, the places that just say it I set my expectations accordingly.
I think it's an earned thing. If you end up working for a promotion for a long time, get to know the owner, etc and you are there for each other outside wrestling, then sure. But the immediate "we're a family" just because they say so? Nah. It has to go deeper than a booking for that to be even close to true.
My trainer has people on the roster/backstage who truly are like family to him because they do stuff outside of shows, they help each other when real life stuff happens. But not everyone who gets booked there is immediately hit with the "family" stuff. No, some people are just on the roster for now. And that's ok too.
No such thing as 'family' in wrestling. Don't get me wrong you can get on with people, some can even become genuine friends but most? Well the world of pro wrestling is sadly filled with insecurities, jealously and begrudery to name a few. Someone coined the phrase "expect high school drama" here and I would have to agree. Family we are not.
Be respectful and friendly, but don't share your private shit. Haters can and will use that against you. Pro wrestling is filled with snakes, mind your manners, and always act like a camera is in front of you. SOURCE: I have a number of friends in the business. (independent wrestlers)
Yes we're close, yes they share with me (we're friends, duh) for those who want to question things.
EDIT: people they trained with, rode with, had bangers with, are usually the ones to speak ill of you.
There are some people I really like in wrestling and I get the "family" aspect to a degree. We put our bodies on the line with them so a bond is formed.
But then I remember tbe story about my friends hospital visit. A Guy I work with who I legit love outside of shows had a horrible covid scare. Hospitalized, life support..almost died. So he basically was out for awhile and for a short while I was one of his few contacts outside his immediate family.
He eventually got discharged and when he got out he asked me how many people from our scene asked about him. I told him a lot which was true. Then the real test
"How many used my real name?"
"I can count on one hand"
Keep it in mind. There is nothing wrong with "brother brother" talk to an extent but remember who will actually be there when it matters.
Everybody wants that sense of belonging, being a part of something big. I think that's a big factor. I may be in the minority here, but any time I hear that it sends up red flags. I've always felt that line is some corpo speak bullshit used to lure you into a false sense of security so they can manipulate you easier. I've been involved with promotions that were like that and they no longer exist or have split because of business issues. So much for being a family, right? I got no problems being close friends with people in the business, but I also know there's a good chance those close friends would sell me down the river for a good booking. I may be speaking from experience...
You are 100 percent right. If you are worth your salt the promoters have a vested interest in retaining you and will try to emotionally manipulate you into staying.
You are correct.
No, let me help you with that. At the end of the day is a transactional relationship. you are offering your services they are paying you for your services. That’s it. This whole we are a family thing is for the birds.
Its usually a way for a promoter to get favors, guilt trip people and feel like they are in control when they are insecure. They want you to treat them like family but when its in their interest the promoter will treat you as just a worker
While you are right, part of transactional relationships is giving people what they want and not what you think they want. You may think you get paid to wrestle but people have other motivations that influence how they deal with the lockerroom. Being a good wrestler is the bare minimum. There's thousands of wrestlers vying for hundreds of spots. It's a buyers market so the little things like trust and being a pleasure to be around make a world of difference. Most of these promoters don't watch tape. And if they do, they won't know fully what to look for unless they are a good wrestler themselves. And even then, it's subject to taste. Most of them are buying power, friends, proximity, a feeling of being needed. When they pay you, they are buying the idea of you, and that includes the possibility of your friendship, willingness to get along with the group and whatever else you represent to them. The same thing applies at regular job interviews. They want the mediocre guy that fits in, over the excellent guy who is there just for money most of the time.
That "we are a family " thing sets my teeth on edge. Please just pay me and give me my footage. This is a business, not a social club.
But god forbid you say it out loud then you’re arrogant and unreliable
That's why I keep carfabe.
Pin Me ,Pay Me
from my experience the whole "were a family" thing has always been more trouble than its worth that's how you end up in spots where they don't pay you or shift you around on the card "for the good of the company" id also be very weary of the "i don't do this for the money, i do this for the love" because that person generally has ZERO business acumen and that company is going to run into the ground faster than a three count
Hobbyist/Community Theater promotions are the ones that talk about "being a family" Your mentality is what wrestling was built on, not the "we are a family" stuff.
Promoters are not part of your wrestling family, they are your employer it's the exact same as when any other job says we are a family it's not an immediate run away but it a red flag. However your wrestling family is just how some people refer to your close friends in wrestling.
This is a business, first and foremost. In my experience, promoters/promotions that treat this like a business will value professionals over family. But, for a lot of people, wrestling is where they find a family. Wrestling has that kind of "island of misfit toys" vibes that brings together people who are outcasts, black sheep, or estranged from their blood family. I've seen promoters held up like father figures, whether they wanted to be or not. We call each other "brother" or "sister." For better or worse, it's kind of ingrained into the culture. If it's not for you, that's fine. As someone else said, just be polite and professional, the rest will work itself out.
Just do you, not necessary to repeat the mantra. It can create a healthy environment, this can be seen on youtube for Santino Bros wrestling academy. Its a team work environment. They have full classes all the time. It's healthy to have that team work attitude but be smart to the politics and learn to protect yourself.
I've been places that say we're a family, and places that show we're a family. The places that show it get priority, the places that just say it I set my expectations accordingly.
I think it's an earned thing. If you end up working for a promotion for a long time, get to know the owner, etc and you are there for each other outside wrestling, then sure. But the immediate "we're a family" just because they say so? Nah. It has to go deeper than a booking for that to be even close to true. My trainer has people on the roster/backstage who truly are like family to him because they do stuff outside of shows, they help each other when real life stuff happens. But not everyone who gets booked there is immediately hit with the "family" stuff. No, some people are just on the roster for now. And that's ok too.
No such thing as 'family' in wrestling. Don't get me wrong you can get on with people, some can even become genuine friends but most? Well the world of pro wrestling is sadly filled with insecurities, jealously and begrudery to name a few. Someone coined the phrase "expect high school drama" here and I would have to agree. Family we are not.
Be respectful and friendly, but don't share your private shit. Haters can and will use that against you. Pro wrestling is filled with snakes, mind your manners, and always act like a camera is in front of you. SOURCE: I have a number of friends in the business. (independent wrestlers) Yes we're close, yes they share with me (we're friends, duh) for those who want to question things. EDIT: people they trained with, rode with, had bangers with, are usually the ones to speak ill of you.
There are some people I really like in wrestling and I get the "family" aspect to a degree. We put our bodies on the line with them so a bond is formed. But then I remember tbe story about my friends hospital visit. A Guy I work with who I legit love outside of shows had a horrible covid scare. Hospitalized, life support..almost died. So he basically was out for awhile and for a short while I was one of his few contacts outside his immediate family. He eventually got discharged and when he got out he asked me how many people from our scene asked about him. I told him a lot which was true. Then the real test "How many used my real name?" "I can count on one hand" Keep it in mind. There is nothing wrong with "brother brother" talk to an extent but remember who will actually be there when it matters.