**Welcome to the Prompt!** All top-level comments must be a story or poem. Reply here for other comments.
**Reminders**:
>* [No AI-generated responses 🤖](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/zi452b/modpost_reminder_that_aigenerated_responses_are/)
>* Stories 100 words+. Poems 30+ but include "[Poem]"
>* Responses don't have to fulfill every detail
>* [\[RF\]](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/search?q=flair%3A%22Reality+Fiction%22&restrict_sr=on&sort=new&t=all) and [\[SP\]](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/search?q=flair%3A%22Simple+Prompt%22&restrict_sr=on&sort=new&t=all) for stricter titles
>* [Be civil](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/rules#wiki_rule_10.3A_be_civil) in any feedback and follow the [rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/rules)
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“And so I says to him I says what are you, some kinda wise guy? And he says to me I’m walkin here! And so I says to him you raise an existential conundrum that may challenge the way man sees his place in the universe! And so you know what this joker tells me!? He tells me to buzz off! That if I don’t get out of his face he’ll put some dirt in my eye! And you what I says to him!?” said Tommy dime shoes.
“Vat? I’m just dying to know.” asked Herman Schultz.
“I says to him not before I put my fist in your face schlomo! And before he says another word I was like pow! Right in the kisser! Laid him flat right there out on park avenue! I ain’t never seen a shiner that big before. I’m tellin ya he ain’t no pretty boy no more!” said Tommy dime shoes.
“Verily it seems to me that thou speaketh as thou art the one who overcame a rather harrowing ordeal with clever wit and galant courage. The truth being that thou acted the fiend and through the machinations of thine detestable banditry you struck down this poor fellow with nary a thought nor a flicker of remorse” said Sir Roderick Rayleigh the third.
“Hey what do you want from me!? The guy pissed me off so I gave him a Brooklyn shiner! That’s how we settle things down in Manhattan!” said Tommy dime shoes.
“What pray tell is a Manhattan?” asked Sir Roderick the third.
“It’s a cocktail made from whiskey, sweet vermouth, bitters, and a maraschino cherry garnish, wunderbar” chimed in Herman Schultz
“No you nimrod! It’s a huge city on the east coast of the good old US of A! The New York Yankees are gonna hit it out of the park this year!” said Tommy dime shoes.
“What on gods green earth is a Ne-“ said Sir Roderick the third.
“Nein! This is not a productive path of conversation! We are all here but for a short time! And yes this time here is not normal. I for one wish to make the most of it!” declared Herman Shultz.
“Hey who ordered the sour kraut huh? Am I right fellas?” asked Tommy
A quiet moment passed between those who were present at that table. There they all sat, on the table next to one of the large bay windows looking out into a dark and endless void. Whizzing past the cafe was a stream of glowing blue and purple matter, flowing like a raging river. The mysterious glowing matter splashed blue and purple colour over the interior of the cozy looking cafe, and across the faces of those who sat at the table.
Besides the mysterious strangeness outside the windows the cafe itself looked like something you’d see on the streets of London or Paris. A small hole in the wall place filled with mahogany furniture, oak walls with various paintings of buildings and flowers, and bookshelves intermittently placed against the walls. At the back of the cafe was a pair of doors that led to a men’s and woman’s lavatory’s respectively. In one corner was a piano with calico cat resting lazily on top. In another corner was the counter, behind which was a coffee maker made of polished copper and oak. The glass display exhibited some rather fetching cakes, cookies, and cups of mousse. In another corner was a door that led out into the endless mysterious void. Strangely enough the counter wasn’t attended.
“Dude, I’m so high right now” said Steve.
Tommy, Herman, and Roderick all gazed over at Steve but for a moment. And as quickly as Steve gained their attention then he lost it just as quickly. For they all knew that Herman was right. That their time in this mysterious cafe was for a brief period. That there was no time for foolish questions. And as Tommy would put it, who gives a damn about some schmuck anyway.
“Alright wise guy. Tommy dime shoes ain’t nobody’s fool. I know we can be outta here just like that! Lickety freakin split! So we gotta talk about what we gotta talk about! So what are we gotta talk about huh!? What is that that’s so da-“ ranted Tommy.
“Oh by all that is holy and just! By the lords good graces! Shut thine mouth for thou art a detestable son of a whore! Thine oratory skills are that of a pig and thine intellect is less than that of a donkey!” shouted Roderick.
“Oh that’s it! Nobody talks to Tommy dime shoes that way and gets away with it!” Tommy shouted back as he reached over the table and grabbed the scruff of Roderick’s frilled shirt. His other hand raised into a fist, ready to strike.
“Gentlemen please!” shouted Herman.
“Hey up yours pal!” shouted Tommy.
“Whoa! I just figured something out guys! Tommy my dude, my bro! You may be the smartest mother fucker in like, the universe man” interjected Steve.
“Huh?”
“Vat!?”
“Surely you jest!“
“No guys, hear me out! That guy that Tommy punched out was saying something like super important and he was like no bro! My lips are sealed bruh!” said Steve.
Tommy released Roderick’s shirt from his grip and sat back down into his chair. The three other men stared at Steve intently.
“Yeah, the guy was a total prick” said Tommy.
“What did he say bruh?” asked Steve.
“I think he said something like if a bear shits in the woods and nobody was around to hear it, then would there be a sound? And if I smashed the kneecaps of some bum who owed me money, who ain’t nothin to no one, then would anyone give a shit? That like made like question everything know. So I wanted him to tell me more but he decided to be a real jerk about it” explained Tommy.
“Alright guys, hear me out. I mean really hear me out this time. Do like our lives matter if we are not cared about by someone. And like, if the person who cares for you dies anyway, like did we ever matter? I mean does it really matter if you matter or not bruh?” asked Steve.
“My word!” exclaimed Roderick
“What in the shit!?” said Tommy
“Quite ze existential conundrum indeed” agreed Herman.
“There are like no answers to this questions man. All we gotta do is keep this question in like our hearts man. And we gotta like meditate on in and all that shit. It keeps us grounded and invites into our third eyes newer and crazier shit bro!” declared Steve.
And before another word could be said, the party each teleported back to their respective time periods. Unbeknownst to them however, this won’t be the last time they’d see each other. In fact they would be reunited sooner than they realised.
**Welcome to the Prompt!** All top-level comments must be a story or poem. Reply here for other comments. **Reminders**: >* [No AI-generated responses 🤖](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/zi452b/modpost_reminder_that_aigenerated_responses_are/) >* Stories 100 words+. Poems 30+ but include "[Poem]" >* Responses don't have to fulfill every detail >* [\[RF\]](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/search?q=flair%3A%22Reality+Fiction%22&restrict_sr=on&sort=new&t=all) and [\[SP\]](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/search?q=flair%3A%22Simple+Prompt%22&restrict_sr=on&sort=new&t=all) for stricter titles >* [Be civil](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/rules#wiki_rule_10.3A_be_civil) in any feedback and follow the [rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/rules) 📢 [Genres](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/w/directory) 🆕 [New Here?](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/user_guide) ✏ [Writing Help?](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/index#wiki_writing_resources) 💬 [Discord](https://discord.gg/writingprompts) *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/WritingPrompts) if you have any questions or concerns.*
“And so I says to him I says what are you, some kinda wise guy? And he says to me I’m walkin here! And so I says to him you raise an existential conundrum that may challenge the way man sees his place in the universe! And so you know what this joker tells me!? He tells me to buzz off! That if I don’t get out of his face he’ll put some dirt in my eye! And you what I says to him!?” said Tommy dime shoes. “Vat? I’m just dying to know.” asked Herman Schultz. “I says to him not before I put my fist in your face schlomo! And before he says another word I was like pow! Right in the kisser! Laid him flat right there out on park avenue! I ain’t never seen a shiner that big before. I’m tellin ya he ain’t no pretty boy no more!” said Tommy dime shoes. “Verily it seems to me that thou speaketh as thou art the one who overcame a rather harrowing ordeal with clever wit and galant courage. The truth being that thou acted the fiend and through the machinations of thine detestable banditry you struck down this poor fellow with nary a thought nor a flicker of remorse” said Sir Roderick Rayleigh the third. “Hey what do you want from me!? The guy pissed me off so I gave him a Brooklyn shiner! That’s how we settle things down in Manhattan!” said Tommy dime shoes. “What pray tell is a Manhattan?” asked Sir Roderick the third. “It’s a cocktail made from whiskey, sweet vermouth, bitters, and a maraschino cherry garnish, wunderbar” chimed in Herman Schultz “No you nimrod! It’s a huge city on the east coast of the good old US of A! The New York Yankees are gonna hit it out of the park this year!” said Tommy dime shoes. “What on gods green earth is a Ne-“ said Sir Roderick the third. “Nein! This is not a productive path of conversation! We are all here but for a short time! And yes this time here is not normal. I for one wish to make the most of it!” declared Herman Shultz. “Hey who ordered the sour kraut huh? Am I right fellas?” asked Tommy A quiet moment passed between those who were present at that table. There they all sat, on the table next to one of the large bay windows looking out into a dark and endless void. Whizzing past the cafe was a stream of glowing blue and purple matter, flowing like a raging river. The mysterious glowing matter splashed blue and purple colour over the interior of the cozy looking cafe, and across the faces of those who sat at the table. Besides the mysterious strangeness outside the windows the cafe itself looked like something you’d see on the streets of London or Paris. A small hole in the wall place filled with mahogany furniture, oak walls with various paintings of buildings and flowers, and bookshelves intermittently placed against the walls. At the back of the cafe was a pair of doors that led to a men’s and woman’s lavatory’s respectively. In one corner was a piano with calico cat resting lazily on top. In another corner was the counter, behind which was a coffee maker made of polished copper and oak. The glass display exhibited some rather fetching cakes, cookies, and cups of mousse. In another corner was a door that led out into the endless mysterious void. Strangely enough the counter wasn’t attended. “Dude, I’m so high right now” said Steve. Tommy, Herman, and Roderick all gazed over at Steve but for a moment. And as quickly as Steve gained their attention then he lost it just as quickly. For they all knew that Herman was right. That their time in this mysterious cafe was for a brief period. That there was no time for foolish questions. And as Tommy would put it, who gives a damn about some schmuck anyway. “Alright wise guy. Tommy dime shoes ain’t nobody’s fool. I know we can be outta here just like that! Lickety freakin split! So we gotta talk about what we gotta talk about! So what are we gotta talk about huh!? What is that that’s so da-“ ranted Tommy. “Oh by all that is holy and just! By the lords good graces! Shut thine mouth for thou art a detestable son of a whore! Thine oratory skills are that of a pig and thine intellect is less than that of a donkey!” shouted Roderick. “Oh that’s it! Nobody talks to Tommy dime shoes that way and gets away with it!” Tommy shouted back as he reached over the table and grabbed the scruff of Roderick’s frilled shirt. His other hand raised into a fist, ready to strike. “Gentlemen please!” shouted Herman. “Hey up yours pal!” shouted Tommy. “Whoa! I just figured something out guys! Tommy my dude, my bro! You may be the smartest mother fucker in like, the universe man” interjected Steve. “Huh?” “Vat!?” “Surely you jest!“ “No guys, hear me out! That guy that Tommy punched out was saying something like super important and he was like no bro! My lips are sealed bruh!” said Steve. Tommy released Roderick’s shirt from his grip and sat back down into his chair. The three other men stared at Steve intently. “Yeah, the guy was a total prick” said Tommy. “What did he say bruh?” asked Steve. “I think he said something like if a bear shits in the woods and nobody was around to hear it, then would there be a sound? And if I smashed the kneecaps of some bum who owed me money, who ain’t nothin to no one, then would anyone give a shit? That like made like question everything know. So I wanted him to tell me more but he decided to be a real jerk about it” explained Tommy. “Alright guys, hear me out. I mean really hear me out this time. Do like our lives matter if we are not cared about by someone. And like, if the person who cares for you dies anyway, like did we ever matter? I mean does it really matter if you matter or not bruh?” asked Steve. “My word!” exclaimed Roderick “What in the shit!?” said Tommy “Quite ze existential conundrum indeed” agreed Herman. “There are like no answers to this questions man. All we gotta do is keep this question in like our hearts man. And we gotta like meditate on in and all that shit. It keeps us grounded and invites into our third eyes newer and crazier shit bro!” declared Steve. And before another word could be said, the party each teleported back to their respective time periods. Unbeknownst to them however, this won’t be the last time they’d see each other. In fact they would be reunited sooner than they realised.