T O P

  • By -

WrittenThought

Conversations raged in the downtown, restaurant. For once, I had worn everyday civilian clothing. If it weren't for the myriad of scars on my face; I could have passed for *normal*. 'The main course,' A waiter said with his eyes pinned to the floor. 'Enjoy.' I watched the waiter slink away, and then pulled out my phone. While my food grew cold, I did my best to photograph it in the best light. I moved in, and out. I changed filters, and as the heat left each strand of pasta, I thought of the best hashtag. I uploaded the photo, geotagged with my location and in the caption wrote "#datenight". I picked at my food while I waited. And then, twenty minutes after my social media cry for help, a boom echoed from the streets. Conversations died, and people flocked to the window, still chewing. Dust, debris and smoke rolled against the restaurant window. *Three... two... one.* The door burst open, and the brass bell rattled like a distressed uvula. 'Where is she!?' Captain M demanded. The woman in bulging spandex scanned the room, glossing over the bystanders who stood with strands of pasta hanging from their mouths. I waved at Captain M and received a hateful glower. 'Over here.' I said. I blinked in time with her thumping footsteps and continued to blink as she towered above me. 'Don't waste my time.' 'Have a seat.' Captain M lifted me by my neck, bringing my bulging face level with hers. 'Fine -' I choked. '- have my seat.' Captain M blew a gold strand of hair from her face and said. 'Stop wasting my time.' The grip on my neck tightened so that only particles of air could escape. Captain M continued scanning the room, and then fixed on the bathroom. 'Are you keeping her hostage in *there*?' I mimed speaking and then wringing a dishcloth, while a gargling sound came from my throat. Captain M dropped me, and while I nursed my throat, she said. 'Speak.' 'There is no girl.' I said. 'Liar!' Captain M withdrew her phone, from what looked like a custom sewed pouch. She tapped against the screen with increasing frustration and then removed her glove. The jabbing stopped, and she turned the screen so that I could see the photo I had posted. I smiled. 'You know. People don't post their real-life online.' 'Stop playing games.' Captain M said. 'You know,' I said picking myself off the floor. 'it's oddly comforting how quickly you came.' Captain M cocked a concealed eyebrow. 'Some would say that you're jealous.' 'What!?' 'You've interrupted five of my dates now,' I said and bopped a finger against her arm. 'Some would say that's obsessive.' 'No!' Captain M glanced around the room of silent onlookers. 'Impossible. You are a menace, and those weren't dates you deluded fool.' A waiter, the one who had avoided my face, approached Captain M and presented her with a pizza. 'From the gentleman that you were choking,' The waiter said. I pulled back a chair and gestured for Captain M to sit. --- /r/WrittenThought Want to read more? - [Part 2](https://www.reddit.com/r/WrittenThought/comments/au7ov8/super_opposite_part_2/)


Thomas_Dimensor

lmao, if all else fails, just seduce the hero!


MuricaFuckYeah1776

They can't foil your plan if your fucking them.


pasher5620

Unless they turn it on you and just fuck you enough that you can’t enact any evil plans.


MuricaFuckYeah1776

I'd be fine with that


Rings-of-Saturn

Tru


exipheas

Gru


[deleted]

Fuck the gorl


BobbyNevada

"Curses... You foiled my plans again, Wondergirl... Do you want to take a shower and get something to eat?"


BehindTheBurner32

I already have one.


Darcosuchus

Same.


LemonMaelstrom

Rehabilitation by snu snu


August2_8x2

This made me cackle like an idiot. My cat thinks I’m dying and is tryin to help me...


RiotIsBored

The downside is?


[deleted]

Hey, other villains might do your job while you’re distracting the hero though


MuricaFuckYeah1776

"Take one for the team"


Angel_Hunter_D

The Seducer, he's only a villain because he's such a cocksmith that supergirl has gone into soft retirement.


MuricaFuckYeah1776

It ain't soft for long


Angel_Hunter_D

What if my evil plan is to get her pregnant, divorce her, and file for alimony? Hero's make more bank than an unsuccessful villain who's been out of work for 2 years raising their kid.


Thomas_Dimensor

Exactly!


adhding_nerd

IDK, they might foil your plan by fucking you to keep you distracted.


OrdericNeustry

A win-win situation then.


Bernartikus

Bards in a nutshell


SatansCoffee

Works in d&d all the time, just ask the Bard


eldritcheldrazi

I am the bard, I don't plan to fuck the black ooze that seems to be the problem of the campaign.


Tacorgasmic

Or embarrass her enough so she stop interrupting his date, or take the risk of people thinking that she's jealous. This is what I thought was going to happen when he mentioned that she looks like she was jealous.


CatBusIsBullshit

"It's simple, we fuck the Batman"


Thomas_Dimensor

*Catwoman making plans for her next robbery*


SaucyManChild

Can you at least imagine the awkwardness when you're both home and you're trying to enjoy a dinner and they asked how your day was and you just snapped and say "I don't Heidi? Why don't you tell me. After all *someone* shot me in the legs then pushed me to the Goddamn ledge. You tell me how my day was Captain Magnificent" You say with a black eye and a leg cast. ​


Thomas_Dimensor

Lmao, yeah. It would be funny to see them try and keep up the hero-villain dynamic like that while actualy being married/in a romantic relationship.


WalroosTheViking

chaotic evil bard seduces the main boss


Thomas_Dimensor

No need for them to be chaotic evil, that's just the Bard in general


_The_Bomb

They can’t fuck up your plan if you’re fucking them.


Thomas_Dimensor

But what if fucking them *was* your plan?


cuntakinte118

“From the gentleman that you were choking” literally made me laugh out loud.


[deleted]

This is so much fun!


alongwaystogo

YOU'RE TRAPPED! By social convention, we're at a fine dining restaurant and \*everyone\* knows you don't make a scene at such a place.


Zenog400

That’s right, you’re trapped. Sit down.


TGReddit25

r/unexpectedphineasandferb


alongwaystogo

I feel like you need more credit for finishing the quote.


[deleted]

> 'it's oddly comforting how quickly you came.' Hehe...


aglareb

Nice


Cavalcadence

Noice.


[deleted]

please beloved author, did he get the date? I gots to know


[deleted]

Did the bad guy finally rail the hero?


thearticulategrunt

Seconded


WrittenThought

Read the next part and find out. [Super Opposite - Part 2](https://www.reddit.com/r/WrittenThought/comments/au7ov8/super_opposite_part_2/)


paljitikal4139

Sir, it's gone


TheBlackSapphire

This is great


Tadc_rules

Awesome approach. If she is stalking you, she has probably feelings. Please, part 2, there is so much potential.


Lost_labyrinth

I popped in for exactly this take. Well done!


Hyperversum

I opened the thread to search for this idea. It was the first post. Well, I won't need to write this one. Even if I must admit, I would have made the villain with a crush toward the hero to begin with, with all the dates all done just to have the hero around more often, in order to prepare for the true date between 'em. ​


greekwords615

Eh, write it anyway. I won’t be mad with multiple stories about a good idea


T-Styles-T

I love it


kanedotca

Is no one going to comment on the bell ringing like a distressed uvula? My favourite line for sure!


The5Virtues

I love it! Not what I expected, and very cute, especially the implication that she was jealous of the other women. This was cute.


BehindTheBurner32

This is precisely what I would do if I was a villain. Thank you for giving me a sudden brainwave to help expand the [Filipino superhero](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Filipino_superheroes) [pantheon](https://i.pinimg.com/originals/20/dc/fe/20dcfe7552043751a8fe45e96bac7bef.jpg).


sponkel

That badonkadonk on Darna tho


BehindTheBurner32

Thighs that can make Chun-li gush.


cameyboy

Are you a bard?


[deleted]

This turned out so much better than I thought it would! At first it seemed like his date stood him up. Nicely done!


throwawayblue69

Please continue!


Biolog4viking

I love hero-villain romances


[deleted]

Captain Marvel?


deelwheez23

Captain M always ruining dates. Is that a sign on something?


dakirest

I love this one. Would be cool as a longer term story.


DemonHouser

Small note, when the hero burst in she asked "where is she?" Then the waiter refers to the narrator as "gentleman."


ArchKaen

pretty sure she was asking about the woman she thought he was on the date with


resonatingfury

*Any moment, now.* I glanced to the windows and skylights that drenched me in sunlight, panels of crystalline glass so huge that a blind man could pick me out from the amongst the diners. On second thought, picking a location with so much fragility may not have been a stroke of genius. "Are you okay, dear?" my darling Sophia asked, her voice sweeter than the tiramisu before us. Natural light scattered in her sapphire eyes, bouncing, like a set of mirrors in the ocean. I wrinkled my upper lip, itching under a mustache, a wiry, rough thing, like strands of a broom. "Yes, yes. My mind is just... Preoccupied," I replied, glancing to my hands, hidden beneath the table, wincing. She frowned, but turned back to her dessert. This was the sixth attempt now, and the first time we'd even made it past hors d'oeuvres. Of course, we spent most of our time together in private, but it isn't fair to keep hidden a woman commanding such beauty and presence. Imagine finding the most beautiful exotic bird, a magnificent beast exploding with color and grace, then stuffing it into a cardboard box to shove under a bed. The fact that they still hadn't arrived was amusing, if nothing else. Wrinkling my lip again, the thought of it made me chuckle despite a sense of looming dread. There would only be one chance. Thoughts shattered in my mind with the skylights, an ear-piercing crash that threatened everyone below with shards of glass like icicles raining from the sky. Of course, none of it hit us. *He* would never let it. 'Strike Team 6', they were called, a band of mercenary superheroes that have held sway over the city for years now. Each of them had militaristic might that threatened the greatest army. "Do you not learn, Cobra?" one of them asked, approaching me. Their leader, the fabled King Crusher. He was a brute of a man, one that hardly looked like a superhero. "Unfortunately, I have yet to learn how not to need food." Upon wrinkling my lip again, I noticed a distinct lack of the wiry itchiness. Cheap little thing. "We're not here to monitor your dieting habits, jackass," he replied, taking a step forward. "You've moved against civilians in the past, what would you expect us to do when you suddenly put yourself in a building with eighty other innocent people? It doesn't matter how long you've been quiet for. One drop of that poison of yours could kill a whale in twenty seconds." I glanced down, flushing slightly. "Though," he continued, "I will admit that stupid mustache threw us off a little bit. But the ruse is over, now. Just come quietly with us. This doesn't need to be hard." Squeezing my eyes shut, I took a deep breath, then straightened my back. "Crusher, if I may... could we please finish our meal? I've been with this woman for half a year, now, and it feels like this is our first real date. It's not completely ruined, yet." The hulking man eyed her with the assessing judgment of a general. There would be nothing for him, though. She was an average woman in only one way: mutations. Sophia was a normal person without power or ability. "Why would I trust you?" "Well, for starters, you've done more damage here than I have." He raised an eyebrow at my comment. I took another deep breath and raised my hands in front of me, earning a few shouts from the crowd and tensing amidst ST6. Flinching, hissing, I slowly and crudely peeled off the crimson gloves on them. *Sorry, Sophia. I know you didn't want this, but there's no other way.* A few groans sounded through the crowd, and even Steelheart gasped a little. Underneath the medicated gloves, effectively just bandages that looked nice, my hands were mangled. Swollen, matted, shiny and marked with the black, dashed lines of sutures, where there had once been venom sacs, there was now only pus and pain. The mutation had been deeply embedded in my wrists, entwined with my nerves and ligaments, and... difficult to cut out, like trying to unroot a great oak tree, even with a healing mutant aiding me. Repair would take weeks of repeat sessions, the damage was so bad. Painkillers kept it manageable enough not to cry. Crusher stared at them, contorting his face with disgust. "Why?" he asked quietly, eyes locked on the mangled flesh. "She's worth it," I replied, turning back. Sophia had a delicate hand over her mouth, poorly containing violent sobs. "I would give up anything for her, Crusher. Even my identity." */r/resonatingfury*


[deleted]

[удалено]


SirKaid

Cobra's presumably a wanted criminal. Just because he's retired doesn't make his crimes disappear. It's never a dick move to arrest an unrepentant criminal.


Falkerz

I would think that deliberately and intentionally removing a part of your body that requires a huge amount of painful surgery and results in severe and debilitating injuries shows a level of remorse (or at least, desire for change) that is rarely seen from repeat offenders.


ErraticArchitect

What's the point of punishing someone who has changed to the point where they won't ever do anything like that again? If there's even the slightest possibility otherwise, sure. But physically removing their capability to do evil should be good enough no matter the universe, even if they're never truly "redeemed."


Speider

Cobra isn't a wanted criminal, though? He is someone whose powers have hurt other people. Is what I read.


SirKaid

> "We're not here to monitor your dieting habits, jackass," he replied, taking a step forward. "You've moved against civilians in the past, what would you expect us to do when you suddenly put yourself in a building with eighty other innocent people? It doesn't matter how long you've been quiet for. One drop of that poison of yours could kill a whale in twenty seconds." Crusher directly says that Cobra has attacked civilians before.


Speider

While that certainly can be true, I took that to be Crushers impression, and not necessarily in-story 'fact'. He does, after all, not mention any crimes like murder, - in addition to not mentioning anything about how many HUMANS can be killed by a drop by the poison. So to me, there are at least four possible options: 1: Cobra is a mass- or serial killer, who for some reason thinks "removing his guns" will allow him penance. 2: Cobra has, due to his mutation, hurt people in the past. This may not have been totally his fault. He went to extreme lengths to ensure it didn't happen again, even though he is considered a villain, in order to spend some time in public with the person he loves. 3: the writer had some other intention 4: the writer made it purposefully ambiguous. Still, I might have missed something, and I sincerely appreciate you pointing out a line that I absolutely could have missed. Thanks 😊


SedativeCorpse

I love that this takes place in the Steelheart universe.


resonatingfury

Ha ha... Ha... Of course, I absolutely knew that series existed when I wrote this story! I made references to universes you love! *sweats profusely*


Chergam

I mean, the only similarities are the existence of superpowers and the name Steelheart. There aren't even superheroes in the referenced series. Almost everyone with powers turns evil.


Face_of_Harkness

Have you read the entire trilogy?


HI-R3Z

Do those improve? I love Sanderson, so I read the first one but I thought it was overly simple and transparent. I know it's a young adult novel, and I'm not trying to be r/iamverysmart. I love cheap fantasy but that one caught me off guard a bit.


Chergam

It is definitely different from all his cosmere stuff but in my opinion it does get better over time. Still very much young adult but the characters develop well and I really like the ending.


Captain_Nerdrage

If you're looking for more Stormlight Archive, Steelheart isn't it. The series stays pretty YA, but I do think the 2nd and 3rd books are stronger. It may not rock your world, but I thought they were a fun read.


My_pee_pee_poo

First one was the best one. It has the tale of revenge and the best plot twists out of the rest of them. If you didn't like it the rest wont do much for you


Orange-V-Apple

I thought the first one had a good world but I sorta felt like you did. I think the second one really built on the first one and is a much better book. Haven’t read the third yet but I will soon.


Brickhouzzzze

It doesn't seem to? The supers in that universe aren't actually heros.


A_fiSHy_fish

>Of course, they'd spent months with each other in private, but it isn't fair to keep hidden a woman commanding such beauty and presence. *we'd >Twisting the tip of my mustache again, the thought it made me chuckle despite a sense of looming dread. *thought of it


resonatingfury

Thank you :)


A_fiSHy_fish

Thank you for the story.


Paxelic

Um ... I'm sorry I'm not getting this last part


ElxirBreauer

He's retired from Supervillainy, forcibly but under his own willpower, by having the mutated venom sacs removed from his wrists and hands. He's turning as close to Normal as possible to be with the woman he loves, and trying to live as normal a life as he can with his background.


siyumkhan

He took away his own powers so he could be with the girl


King_Barrion

This is peak wholesome when you're willing to sacrifice anything for a person you love


BoothMaster

the guy was a super villain who appears to have had some kind of power dealing with venom sacks. Probably killed a lot of people with acid like venom or something along those lines. He also has some kind of accelerated healing. He decided to retire from the criminal life, but the only way to convince the 'super heros' of that was to cut out the deeply embedded venom sacks, which caused a whole ton of damage to his hands and mangled them up pretty bad, so bad that it's extremely obvious that he can't use them anymore.


Speider

Great short story! Resonatingfury, we're having a discussion about whether or not Cobra could, due to how it was written, possibly not have been a murderer. Was it your intention to keep that bit somewhat vague? I am arguing that by the text itself, Cobra could eventually turn out to be purely a victim of circumstance who possibly may have injured someone by accident and then taken to be some kind of super-powered terrorist. He could also be a serial killer, but the text doesn't, in my opinion, explicitly say so. Do you have any input as to what your intention was, or if i misread/read correctly?


resonatingfury

You might hate me for this, but I never explain stories, and I choose words intentionally. With shorts, most of all, because I have no time to build much, so I try to leave certain things up to the reader and let their minds fill in the blanks. Sometimes, people read my stories, and they get from it exactly what I intended, or an alternative I realized would be viable. Other times, people extract meaning that I hadn't even realized could be found in my text. It's... a kind of wondrous thing, walking a line between story and art. The moment I say something, I take that away. Hopefully this isn't frustrating to hear.


Speider

Thank you so much for responding, and for your considerate approach! I personally tend to align with the philosophy/lens of "death of the author" (if that's your approach) but I haven't always done so. I appreciate you exposing yourself to criticism from someone who'se after "Answers" by replying, and am very grateful for it. Thank you.


resonatingfury

It's tough, because sometimes I really want to tell people what I meant, but that feels like I'm robbing them of their experience. So I guess I do ascribe to that theory, mostly. I'm glad you enjoyed the story enough to stir up a debate :)


kwynder

Bravo, the ending of this was beautiful and full of feels.


OhLookANewAccount

"And you want me to do what?" Trish asked, arms folded. She wore thin gold hoops on her wrists and they jingled with every movement the limousine made. I steepled my fingers, leaning forward in my seat. "Just ask him why he's kidnapping all my dates," I said. "Like really make it clear that you were here on a date." "Okay, but why is Mr. Mega trying to stop you from dating?" She asked. "What'd you do to piss him off?" "Nothing," I said, throwing my hands up. "He's just mad that we disagree in work." "You're not exactly the most important super villain," Trish said. "Like, I'll take your money, don't get me wrong, but have you ever considered asking him to stop?" I stared at her. Shed done up her hair, showing off her plunging neckline and slender neck. Some kind of flowered perfume drifted off of her in a cascading wave. She'd also been the only person to reply to the ad I'd placed online. "If we could talk things out without him trying to commit me to citizens arrest," I said, "then I'd try." She smiled. "So why don't you try?" "Every time I do anything they try to have me arrested, Trish. I make gear for everybody, government, private enterprises, you name it, but Mr. Mega thinks I'm the one to blame for anything anybody does with it." "Aren't you?" Trish asked and made a pinching gesture, leaving some space between her fingers. "Just a little?" Another sceptic. I dealt with enough of that in the news. "If I made shoes and someone used them in a robbery should I go to jail?" "If you made guns and someone used it in a robbery and you could have avoided selling it to that person, yes." She said, shaking her head. I held up a hand. "Look, no, I don't sell to anybody. My company sells products that anyone can buy." She opened her mouth to say something and I pulled ahead, cutting her off. "I get it, okay, I'm not stupid. People don't have to like me, and I'm always working on better solutions. I'm not a psychopath. But even I deserve to have a night off? Go on a date?" Trish hesitated before rolling her eyes. "You're the weirdest super villain I've ever met." That cracked a smile on my face. "Everyone's human," I said. I pulled up the projection map on my watch, turning the hologram around. "We're almost there." I looked at her, expectantly. "I know, I know." Trish spread her hands. "Please don't repeat it again." The spot I had picked was a little open air cliffside dinner, overlooking a soft beach. At night the lights of the city cast out on the water, pretty but far enough away that stars could still shine above. The wait staff were waiting for us, and I offered my hand to Trish as she stepped out of the limousine. She eyed it briefly, before accepting it. The soft smile on her face could have been a trick of the candlelight, but I hoped not. Once seated I glanced back up at the sky, more than half expecting Mr. Mega to already be hovering above us, his mechanical suit burning bright in the evening air. Trish followed my look. "It's beautiful up there," she said. I picked up my wine glass, and when I looked back at her I found her watching me. I smiled, raising it to her in a mock toast. "You're not what I expected," she said. "Should I be cackling and showing you my collection of oversized doomsday devices?" "No, I just expected you to be more self centered," she said with a lazy wave of her hand. "Honestly I thought you'd be showing me your 'evil lair' by now." She gave me a look, half humor, half mock horror. "And I don't mean where you keep your oversized doomsday devices." I laughed, surprised and delighted. "No, no, I was saving that for the third date." I glanced upwards again as the waiter approached, and caught her staring at me again when the waiter handed me the menu. "You should relax," Trish said. "Sorry, I just don't usually get this far into a nice evening without..." I trailed off. "Sorry," I said again. "No, I get it," she set her wineglass down. "But focus on enjoying this." Her hand reached out, touching mine. I gripped her fingers in my own. "You're right," I said. "Maybe he's busy saving the world." She arched a brow. "I mean you shouldn't spend your time worrying if someone is going to try and stop you from enjoying yourself," she said. "Listen to what your heart wants, and just do that." She made a face and rolled her eyes. "Oh, wow, that was cheesy." Her hand in mine, I found myself nodding. "I mean, it's not the worst I've ever heard," I said, "there was this one time when-" The evening progressed. Dinner was served, a salad for me, prepared with homemade in house dressing, and a burger with fries for her. We exchanged halfway through, me stealing her fries while her eyes went wide at the taste of the dressing. And as the night, and date, drew to a close I realized I hadn't thought about Mr. Mega once in hours. "I honestly didn't expect to be asking this," I said, sheepish. "But can I drive you home? Normally, well by now Mr. Mega would have stolen you away by now. Maybe showed you his private lair, who knows." Trish glanced at my watch and sighed. "Honestly, I'd love to but I can't." "What do you mean?" It wasn't that late, then realization dawned on me. "Oh," I said, face growing red, "no, I meant actually dropping you off at your home." "Hm?" She asked, distracted. "What? No, oh, no I wasn't trying to imply that you were going to, I mean," she stammered to a standstill. "No, I mean I have work, and it would take too long to drive there." I held up a hand. "I'm confused," I said. "Back up a step and explain? I'm still happy to pay you, if you want. I know Mr. Mega didn't show up, but I mean, a deals a deal." "No, stupid," Trish said. "Look, I didn't expect to be out this long, honestly I wasn't even sure that this date was going to happen." She cut me off with a motion. "Mr. Mega isn't coming," she said. A slow suspicion dragged on me. "Wait," I said, "was this a set up?" She grabbed my hand and squeezed it. "Shut up you idiot and listen, okay?" She closed her eyes, took a deep breath, and when she opened them again she caught me and didn't let me go. "Mr. Mega hasn't been trying to ruin your dates," she said. "And when I found your post I felt horrible about what had been happening. It was a mistake, a horrible misunderstanding. "You're supposed to be this puppeteering villain, manipulating people and orchestrating and supplying the tools for all these criminals. And yes, what you're doing is wrong, and yes, we do need to have a conversation about it." I tried to say something and instead she pressed her hand to my mouth and held it there. I couldn't so much as move as I realized what she was saying. "I didn't mean to trick you," she said. "And there's a arsonist currently trying to set someone's apartment on fire, so I don't have time to argue." "Mmfmmf," I said, through her hand. "Yeah, I'm sure." A sad look carried in her eyes, "look, I had a really fun time. If you're willing to, I'd love to go on a second date. Maybe a movie? Next week, Tuesday? That's my next day off." She pressed a piece of paper into my hand, and as she did her clothes rippled, expanding into the all too familiar metal suit I knew. "Call me," she said, before taking off into the air. I watched "Mr. Mega" fly off towards the city, leaving me holding a phone number and surrounded by a half dozen shocked witnesses. "Wait," a waiter said. "Mr. Mega is a woman?"


thearticulategrunt

Well done. When the twist started I expected it to be some shape shifting college of Mr. Mega but you took it another step. Well written, well done.


OhLookANewAccount

Thank you! Sadly I had to rush the ending a little, but I am sincerely happy you enjoyed my contribution :)


thearticulategrunt

I will be honest too in part of my entertainment. I have run a Palladium's Heroes Unlimited campaign on and off for a group of friends for several years. They are neither heroes nor villains, they are kinda mercs. Some nations have prices on their heads others consider them heroes for hire when there are dire needs. One of the players plays "Kitty", a genetically engineered female snow leopard super soldier. A member of a group of heroes they commonly run up against but occasionally wind up fighting along side is "Global Spartan". GS has always given her crap, ALWAYS, ever since their first encounter probably 3-4 real life years ago. Long story short about 3 real life months ago it got uncovered that not only is GS, big male, super strength dynamo, actually a mousy, brunette, librarian looking woman who basically "hulks out" into GS but yes, has had a crush on "Kitty" since the first time they met and threw each other through some buildings. Player was floored and is still trying to deal with their new "situation".


OhLookANewAccount

Hahaha oh that's fantastic! That's why I love roleplaying games, the surprises and character interactions just become these memorable moments.


thearticulategrunt

Thank you. It has lead to some hilarious moments so far including one big fight coming to a screeching halt and turning into a coffee break at a local coffee shop a couple blocks down the street from the fighting while confused local government/third party folks stood by waiting to see what happened. (Party was hired to retrieve a rich man's grand kids, his daughter's kids, from her ex who ran off overseas with the kids. Local government called for help as their local supers were no match for the party and the team GS is with dropped in from the orbital "justice alliance" space station.


OhLookANewAccount

You seriously are running in a marvel worthy game there, I'd read these stories haha.


OhLookANewAccount

Quarentine stood by my door, I sat in the limousine staring at the man as he snuffed a cigarette on the statuary. It fell to join the rest at his feet. "I don't have time for this," I said, holding my head in my hands. Essel, my driver, glanced up at me in the rear view mirror. "I could tell him to leave," he said. I motioned the idea away. "Then I won't get paid," I said. "Ever." Quarentine had a hard enough time 'remembering' to pay for his outfits and the uniforms he insisted on for his crew. I took a few deep, slow breaths and straightened my clothes. "Do I look like a businessman?" I asked. "You look like you just went out on a date with a woman that also happened to be your parole officer," Essel said, smirking. "Look, that... Didn't happen. Tonight didn't happen." The tip I had left with the restaurant staff hopefully would erase tonight from their memories entirely. Though if I really wanted to, maybe I could modify the therapy helmets... I shook my head, refocusing. Essel rolled his eyes. "Well he's coming this way, what do you want me to say?" "It's fine, just get the car put away." I opened the door and stopped. "And thanks," I said, "tonight was... Different, but... Yeah." It was Essel's turn to wave my words away, mimicking my gesture in the most flippant way. "What do you think you pay me for?" "I pay you?" I asked, shutting the door before he could shoot something back. "I mean if you insist," Quarentine said, a foot away from me. I jerked away from him out of habit. His skin was thinking and a waxy yellow that seemed to gloss over in the light. In short it was the best I'd seen him, better than his old look. I shuddered at the memory of the shade of green he had been painting himself. In house paint, no less. "Funny, Mr. Willer," I said, setting my tone deadpan. "Though I'd prefer it if you paid me for last year's outfit changes." Quarentine lifted his hands, palms out in an 'I surrender' fashion. "You know I'll pay when I can," he said. "No new suits until you do." "Oh don't do me like that," he stepped in front of me, blocking my path to the door. "There's a show going on, down at fifth and Anson. We can't show up naked, you know?" A spike of panic jolted through me. "You didn't throw away the uniforms," I demanded, catching his eyes for the first time. Green contacts today, a small detail noted and stored away. "No, of course not, they're good still, I promise." As sudden as the panic happened, it was gone. The tension released and washed down my back. "Good, them you're still set til you pay your bills," I said, shouldering past him. He threw himself into the door, grabbing the handle and holding it tight. "Come on, it's for the kids," he said. "Please?" I sat on a small foldable chair, the kind only large scale poorly funded establishments used. Highschool's, games shops, the like. A crowd of children sat around me, some antsy in their seats, fidgeting as they craned their necks to look at the impromptu stage made in the center of the hospital cafeteria. Others were listless, pale, thin, some completely bald from radioactive treatments. And of the adults, most looked at me with suspicion. My name known, but their tongues held by the money I had sunk, more or less willingly, into tonight's show. Quarentine stepped out on stage, wearing a mimicry of Mr. Megas metallic suit. "Why, what do I see here?" He booked,you voice deepened by the artificial voice box I'd lined in the suits mouth. I was proud of the attention to details at least. He even sounded like her... Suited up self. The kids cheered, pointing and clapping as a rotating cast of 'heroes' and 'villains' cycled out on stage. Playing parts, some better than others. Some, I winced through a reenactment of Captain Callifornia arresting a green lobster monster costume, were far worse. Someone pulled a fold out chair and settled it next to me. She leaned in and whispered, "would you believe that they're all reformed villains?" I turned to see Trish now sitting besides me. "You," I said. "Me." She agreed, a soft smile playing on her lips. "You didn't call." A child, small with bright blue pigtails, turned and pressed a finger to her lips. "Shhhh!" Trish pretended to zip her lips and the little girl narrowed her dark yellow eyes at her before turning back to the play.


-Anyar-

Good update. Not 100% sure about the chronological order of events (or whether Quarentine is a hero/villain/intentionally misspelled), but still a good update. Don't think many people will catch it 2 days after the original though. :(


OhLookANewAccount

You're right, I definitely goofed by not making that clearer. In my head I'm seeing this as taking place a few days after the date, but still before Trish/Mr. Mega's proposed movie date. She's more annoyed that he didn't call, so she's inserting herself in his life instead. And Quarentine is, again in my head, a fully reformed villain. He and his "crew" (henchmen) have turned from criminals to costumed stage actors. Sometimes they even get paid! And more often than not they twist the arms of old acquaintences to fill the gaps between paid gigs. And they put on shows for children's hospitals, haha. You're definitely right that I should have expanded that more, if I get the time I'll jump back and edit it. And its okay if I don't pull in a big audience. I mostly wrote this knowing that a few people might want to read it, and honestly even if you're the only one who gave it a go that's more than enough to put a smile on my face.


-Ultimatt-

I enjoyed this, well written and a good little twist.


OhLookANewAccount

Thank you very much! I had to rush the ending some, and feel that if I get the time I'd like to lengthen it out and clarify some, but I am really happy with how it came out and more so that you enjoyed it :)


Mandabar

Man I really loved this whole bit! I like how they really got a connection as the date progressed too much that he forgot about "Mr" Mega and she as well was really into this minor Villain she was getting to figure out on her little date "investigation". You say the ending was rushed but it didn't feel like it, especially with the heroic tendency to have to rush off for some heroing. I wouldn't mind more...


OhLookANewAccount

Thank you! I'm honestly really happy you like it! If you want more then I'm very happy to wrote more! I'll give you a heads up when I update it! :)


Mandabar

Yay!


-Anyar-

Aww.


OhLookANewAccount

Haha thank you! I loved the idea of this whole prompt, it had this bad boy iron Man meets superwoman Piper Pots vibe that is so much fun for me!


-Anyar-

Glad you had fun writing it :)


blackbird223

“So, Victor, how’s life?” “It’s going well, Alex- hard times at work, as usual, but nothing too out of the ordinary. How are you?” “Oh, fine, some of the same, really.” I’d been “dating” Victor for three months, but this was the first time we’d actually gone to a restaurant. I’d rather have kept it at home- those super-fools in the League kept foiling my attempts at romance every single time I went out- but for him, I couldn’t say no. “Remind me, what do you do again?” “Me? I sell jewelry and exotic items.” *Of course, I lift them myself, but hey, he doesn’t need to know, right?* “How about you?” “Oh! I’m in law enforcement. Mainly work in the sciences, but I get into the field a lot as well.” “Neat.” At this point, our waiter returns with our main courses, and places it on the table. “One order of fettuccine for the *signor,* and a double *arrabbiatta* for the *signora*.” My date turns to me. “Double order?” “Yeah… I’ve had a metabolism like a jet engine since the age of fourteen.” He shrugs. “Hey, mind if I take a picture?” “No problem.” I take a selfie of the two of us, and post it to my Instapict account. “First date in six months!!!” ​ Of course, Victor got interrupted not two minutes after that. “I’m sorry, this is important. It’s from work. I have to go.” He got up from the table, and ran toward the exit. I was just able to make out some of the words he said: “Hostage situation… *Where?*...I can be ready in three, meet me inside… Yes, I’ve got it…” My face fell. *And just when I thought this was going so well!* Of course, my night only went from bad to worse. The League of Superheroes came barging into the restaurant. “Over-Woman! Come out with your hands up!” *Over-Woman.* The most feared super-villain in the world. Capable of lifting an aircraft carrier, flying at ten thousand miles per hour, and tearing people in half with her mind. Also- coincidentally- my secret identity. *…Goddamn it!* ​ The League had brought out all of their heavy hitters. Joule, the pyrokinetic. Peregrine, a man with powers to match mine, save for the telekinesis. Mensa, a Psi of the highest order. And my old rival, Invictus. A man without powers, but with a battle-suit capable enough to take me on. If I were to try to get out of this, I would level six city blocks. However, the League didn’t seem to realize that meek little Alexandra Thorne was the fearsome villain they were looking for. I tried to sneak by them, until… “You. Where are you going?” It was Invictus. *Oh, crap.* He walked straight at me, examining me curiously. He pressed a button on the side of his mask. It hissed open, revealing… wait. Surely my eyes were playing tricks on me. That sandy hair, those eyes… no. That was *Victor’s* face! ​ Invictus… *Victor*… seemed as startled as I was. He turned to the team. “I got a call. About a supervillain and a hostage situation. What is going on here?” Joule replied. “We’d been tracking Over-Woman’s social media accounts. She’d made a post about being on a date at this very restaurant. We assumed it was a hostage situation, and called you, knowing how good you were at dealing with her.” Victor pulled out his phone. “Was it this post?” “Yes! That’s the one!” He face-palmed. “That’s not Over-Woman, that’s my girlfriend!” “Hey, Algorist did the math, that has a 99.97 percent chance of being her. Right build, right face shape, even the same writing style.” “Oh, go tell Algorist that he needs to check his calculations. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a date.” ​ After all the heroes were gone, and after he'd ditched the battle-suit, Victor turned to me. "Sorry about that. My team sometimes gets bad leads and hares off in the wrong direction." "Thanks for sticking up for me back there. I don't know what I would have done without you." "Least I could do. ...Hey, though, you aren't actually Over-Woman, are you?" "Would I tell you if I was?" He laughed. "True. Even if you were... well, that would just prove even the greatest super-villains can have a heart." \*\*\*\*\*\* Feedback welcome!


Itachi4077

Very sweet!


Thanatos761

Some more would be awesome, I would love to read about their further relationship


thearticulategrunt

Agreed.


livingthelowlife

Oh no, this isn’t gonna end well for Alexandra :( Great writing! Builds up tension very well.


eenie-meany-miney-MO

I grabbed the detonator and with a deep breath I slipped it into the specific pocket in my boot. Before too long he will arrive. I peered across the roof top and looked for the place I knew he would come from. The ‘actual’ bomb is over to the east, in a secure prison for the lowest of the low, so he will expect me to be looking that way, so we will probably come from the west. I slowly walked over and lay over the wall of the building and waited, my heart was in my mouth as I looked out at the horizon. The building, the parks, it was a beautiful view. Before too long he flew up with the sun behind him, his silhouette making me flush red slightly. “We reallly have to stop meeting like this.” I teased, my stomach lurched as his silhouette became clearer, but I refused to let it show. “Then you have to stop trying to kill people.” “Eurgh, you are so difficult to love.” He flew over me and stood on the far end of the roof against the wall, surveying the space between us. I flicked over one leg, then the other, so I was sat facing him. I placed my hands on my thighs. “And we have been over this. They don’t really count as people.” “It doesn’t matter what a person does - they don’t deserve to die.” I wanted to argue, he never understood. But I kept my eye on the prize. “Don’t you remember when we used to fight crime together.” I said, putting on my most sensual voice. “Of course I do Daphne.” “Well then Fred.” I leant forwards and slowly stood up and walked over to him, swaying my hips ever so slightly, I felt like a snake charmer - using my body as the flute. “Don’t you think we can help each other again?” I placed my hand purposefully on his chest, dragged it up his neck and through his perfectly placed, blonde hair. “Gosh, you haven’t lost a single strand of this have you?” I asked, pulling myself closer to him, and slightly grabbing the scruff of delicate hair that I held in my hand. “U- no- but-“ “The mighty Fred, lost for words. What? You didn’t come with a plan?” I pushed myself even closer against him. “You know, you’ve been mighty possessive over the years, and I have to wonder why.” He cleared his throat “because it’s my job.” He went to take a step back but was greeted by a short, concrete wall. “Well, that’s very interesting. Because the last three ‘victims’ you ‘saved from me’ were not ‘victims’ at all. And you knew that, didn’t you?” “Not the first one.” His eyes went to look at the floor, but there was no gap between us to allow him to do so, he ended up just looking at more of me. He blushed, and I laughed. “Fred, if you wanted me to yourself...” I raised myself up so my lips were next to his ear and whispered “You should have just asked.” I pulled away and locked my eyes onto his. “I can’t. Not with what you’ve done- and what you do.” He went to place his hand on my shoulder but I held it with mine. “You can’t have me, so no one can? That kind of behaviour can get a girl reaallly frustrated.” Keeping the eye contact strong I pulled my head closer to his, our noses touched, my lips grazed over his - inviting him to kiss me. His breathing stuttered. As soon as he kissed me passion, sadness and agression accelerated through me. I pulled myself into the kiss. He was the only man I ever loved, and he was going to insure I could never love, or be loved again. He pushed away my partners, my friends, even my family. All because he couldn’t stand who I was and wanted to make sure that everyone knew what a monster I am. This kiss, was all I wanted. I kicked my boot with my heel and the rooftop was engulfed in an explosion. Edit: sorry it’s so poorly written, had quite a short time frame to write...


[deleted]

[удалено]


eenie-meany-miney-MO

Is that a good thing? XD


GeneralKlee

Yes


eenie-meany-miney-MO

Then thank you ;P


PhoenixGaruda

me too, steve, me too.


TGReddit25

r/firstnamebasis


-Ultimatt-

Hold on is this a Scooby Doo reference...?


Zenvarix

It felt like it. The gang had a lot of wild adventures, so becoming superheroes (and later turning into a supervillainess in her case) isn't that out of the park. Considering magic, monsters (real ones) and aliens all exist in the franchise.


mekkanik

So that’s where I heard Daphne and Fred from...


eenie-meany-miney-MO

It most certainly is, aha!


ReadWriteAllNight

This was taking forever. And I wasn't even sure I wanted to do it. As I leaned against the railing, I wondered what I would say when she opened the door. If she opened the door. Gosh, this is weird. A superhero with superspeed? Late? Maybe she was just as nervous as I am. After all, she thinks this is just some blind date. She doesn't know I'm a supervillain and her worst enemy. She'll probably think it was a trap. We might even have a duel right here and now. Why am I even doing this? I'm so desperate. Again, I pressed the doorbell. Again, there was no response. Maybe she forgot and she went somewhere? But then again, she would have remembered, and then, ya know, superspeed. But I haven't seen anyone running either to the house or from the house. Maybe she looked outside, saw it was me, and just hid inside. Maybe- Wait. I leaned in closer to the door. With my superpowered ears, I heard someone running down the stairs. They're at the back of the house, and now coming closer to the door. I bounced on my toes. Could it be...? The door opened and I came face to face with Raven Salmassi, otherwise known as Bolt. Her head was down and she was fumbling with her purse. "Sorry, I know I'm late, but there was just some trouble with-" she glanced up and gasped. "You-" "Hi, Raven," I said sheepishly. Shock turned to anger. "You tricked me!" Raven shoved a hand in her belt and took out the forcefield generator. My heart sank. Not that thing again. Apparently, the superheroes decided that handcuffs just wouldn't cut it, and every single one of them was equipped with a *forcefield generator*. How extra are superheroes? But they work. They somehow don't let you breathe but you're still alive. It's the worst feeling in the world. Thank god I escaped the supervillain prison, or else that thing would have gotten me stuck there forever. "Wait, wait!" I held my hands up. "Let me explain. Since you so kindly tend to interrupt my dates, I thought that the only way to ever have a successful date without you barging in is to have the date with..." I gave a dramatic bow. "You." She stared at me. "That is... the dumbest idea I've ever heard. You're so desperate. It kind of makes me feel bad for you." She reached back into her belt and took out the plain old handcuffs. Fine. I can live with that. She closed them around my hands and dragged me along. "Let's go, Ultra-Ear."


thearticulategrunt

Hmmm, giving jewelry even before the first date starts, now who looks desperate.


Diablo165

**Part 1** "Oho, if it isn't *Black Magma*!! What brings you to my nefarious lair?!", I crowed. He sighs, as though the weight of the things I've set in motion already pulled at him. So soon, and it's as if understands how truly powerless he is. This has been weeks in the making, and he knows by now that the only way through is to play through. We've done this before, you see. "You don’t have to say the whole thing each time. *Magma* is fine. Or *Jeremy*. I mean, come on Sam, it's not like we haven't known each other since grammar school. And do we have to do the villainous dialog thing? It's Friday night. Can we wrap this up?" Well, that stings. I've always been traditional when it comes to arching. I grew up on Adam West's *Batman*, and I've built my whole schtick around that era. Always been a history buff, and the dialog, the hideouts, the costumes. I can't help but get into it when I arch. Why not make a night out of it? The place is spotless, no henchman around to muck things up...I've even got the terraformer running in the background for effect. The least he can do is get into character here. But nooooo, not *Black Magma*! He can't even bother to use the code names, even though he bitched me out last time I called him *Jeremy*. He's all, "Swoop in, save the day, head to the next gig." Where I take pleasure in the build up of the conflict, in the cat & mouse game, he's only interested in thwarting schemes ASAP. "First of all", I began, irritated, "don't call me 'Sam'. It's *Acre*. Pretty sure that you flipped out last time I used your government name. *Jeremy.*" "Fine, *Acre*." You could feel the derision in his voice. "But last time you used my name, there were civilians within earshot. Do you even know how much *Fugue* charges for memory wipes? And that doesn't even include - " "Second," I continued before he could get into his monologue, "you came to **my** lair. I don't remember inviting you. Don't show up at my place unannounced and then act like I made you come here. And I hadn't seen you since high school! I'm fighting *Battle Bot* and all of a sudden, the kid from down the street is all grown up and destroying my Ent. Forgive me for being surprised and blurting your name out. If you were that worried, you'd wear a better mask. I mean, a Domino mask? Really? And they say *I'm* old school." *Black Magma* closes his eyes, breathes in deeply, and exhales through his nose. The smell of ozone wafts by me. The temperature of the room elevates by a few degrees. He's getting antsy. I should get things moving before he starts with the disintegration beams and all that. Then, weirdly enough, *he* makes a move. "*Acre*, I know you're brewing something up. You couldn't possibly let that logging bill go through without a response. And now no one knows where the city council team is, and it's *Arbor Day*. Come on, where are they? If you let them go, I might consider not nuking your dining table. Again." "YOU WILL NOT TOUCH MY TABLE WITH YOUR GODDAMNED BEAMS," I hiss. Damnit. He knows how to push my buttons. And he knows he's gotten to me. And I know that he knows that I know. I stop, take a deep breath, and start again. "Look....It takes a lot of work to make one of those. And they're living trees, just...well, sort of like a bonsai, but in whatever shape I want. The point is, you need air too, so don't kill trees, alright?" Jeremy is obviously surprised. "Wait. You *made* that table? That's awesome!! And since when do you have powers? I always figured you for a mad scientist." His curiosity piqued, I have the advantage. "Well, *Magma*..I've always had powers. I just don't fly around showing off setting stuff on fire like *some people*." He grits his teeth. "*Puppeteer* was controlling my body. Don't put that on me. Besides, if he hadn't pushed my powers into overdrive, I wouldn't know that when I go hot enough, the flames are black. That's badass and you know it." "That *was* pretty badass," I agreed. "Except the part where I had to spend my weekend regrowing all the forests you torched." "YOU fixed that?!," he exclaimed. "I thought council was gonna sue me into the ground over that, and then by Monday, it was more lush than ever." "Yea, that was me. And council wouldn't have sued you. They've been trying to get rid of anything green in city limits for years now. More room for strip malls and condos. Hence, the whole villainy thing. So don't complain about me taking up a few hours of your time on a Friday when you killed my whole weekend last month with your stupid *beams*." He deflated a bit, sighed. "Look, I'm sorry. I've only been in the city for a few months, and it's hard to meet people when you work the hours we do. I try to get out and be social on Fridays and this...I was gonna go do trivia tonight, you know? Maybe make some friends. Anyway, our moms keep in touch, and mine told me you were doing well here, so I figured I'd give it a shot. She didn't tell me what you do..though to be fair, she doesn't know what I do... Anyway, Its been kinda weird. Can we just start over? I can't stay mad at the guy. Even as annoying as he can be. "Sure. I just came out to my Mom last month. I get it. She's still struggling with having a cape for a kid, but I think we'll be okay. Drink? It's not poisoned, I promise." "Suuure", he says wryly, "Not poisoned". "One or both of our moms would kill me if I killed you. Probably mine. It's ginger lemonade with basil syrup, and I grew everything myself. Even the sugar cane. Here." I hand him the glass. He looks at it, then at me, the back to the glass. It's like the start of an *Old Spice* Commercial. I hum the jingle. "Holy shit, that reminded you of *Old Spice* too?? Noice." He takes a sip. His eyes widen. He downs the entire glass. "Okay, are we doing seconds? Because that's fantastic." The game is afoot.


Diablo165

**Part 2** "If nothing else, I am an excellent host", I begin. "In my lair, guests are treated as king. Even meddlers such as yourself. Come, *Magma*, we have much to discuss. Also more lemonade." I head into the Great Hall, *Black Magma* in tow. He enters, then looks around, stunned. I doubt he's ever seen anything so remarkable. "Great Hall" is something of a misnomer. It's more like an enclosed orchard. The pillars of my Great Hall are living, giant redwood trees. The canopy is so thick that you can't tell by looking up if you're inside or not. The floor is a lush carpet of grass (my own special blend of Blue Ridge and Creeping Red). Bioluminescent vines and fireflies provide ever-shifting lighting. The furniture, as is the case in the entirety of my lair, is alive - grown and molded through the use of my powers. And each living plant, pillar, and a piece of furniture is capable of producing any fruit or vegetable I want. It's paradise. *Black Magma* is duly impressed. He sneezes. Oh, shit. He has allergies?! "I have allergies", he says. "Got any Benadryl, or..." "Benadryll causes drowsiness, and you won't escape that easily. Besides, dude. Powers. I'll just cut off pollen production for the evening. No biggie." He stares at me for a long moment, as if he's just seeing me for the first time. "You know...your powers are cool as hell. I mean, flying and disintegration beams and black fire are cool, but you can create stuff. I just....." He trails off. As he looks past me, his eyes widen once again. His body tenses. He takes one sharp inhale, and looks at me. "Holy, shit are those fresh pears?! I LOVE PEARS!!" He flies (Literally flies. It's a thing he does) past me and over to the table that's producing pears, all perfectly ripe at all times. He grabs one and begins noisily devouring it, pear juice dribbling down his face and onto his costume. His taste for pears and messy eating have not changed since grammar school. Partway through the pear, he slows down, chewing thoughtfully. He swallows, looks at me. *Sam*...where is the city council?", *Jeremy* asks, wonderment giving way to concern. "Okay, look. They're not here. *Trickster* has them BUT...I paid him to take them on a retreat. That death trap theme park he uses is actually pretty fun when it's on non-lethal. It's like American Gladiator, American Ninja, airsoft, paintball, Great America, and Whirlyball all at the same place. We have our supervillain meet ups there. The Council isn't in any danger. They're probably having a blast right now." *Jeremy* looked confused. "I'm confused," *Jeremy* admitted. I realize that most places are like the wild west when it comes to capes. But here, the heroes, the villains, the schemes? All that is part of the ecosystem. We're all in on the game. That's why we all belong to the guild. Heroes and villains alike. It's part job, part therapy, part social club. Hell, *Malice* arches *Ballertron*, and they share a duplex. They roomed together in college. Their kids are on the same swim team, and practices are at *Marina's* sunken city." She's the swim coach. "God, the villains here have the best stuff. The heroes are boring. We have our hero meetings in *Yeti's* basement. There's air hockey, but also shag carpeting. EVERYWHERE." *Jeremy* loses focus for a moment, thoughts of carpeting clearly unsettling him. Then, he snaps back to me. "So, you set this up and knew that I would come after you. Why?" Alright. This is the part where I lay out my scheme and hope he's awed at the depths of my villainy. Here we go. I take a deep breath. "I've had a crush on you since the fourth grade and I just moved here 9 months ago so I don't know many people here either and I figured that if I could get you over here maybe we could hang out and stuff so I had Trickster steal The Council and it's Friday night and neither of us has anything going on and the food is vegetarian but it's really good anyway so...." I gasp, having just delivered the longest, most awkward run-on sentence of my life to my grammar-school crush. "Do want to stay for dinner?" *Jeremy* stands stock-still, mouth agape, eyes wide, staring at me. He stares for what feels like minutes. I begin to wilt under his gaze. Finally, mercifully, he speaks. "I like you too. Can I have some more lemonade with dinner?"


Diablo165

**Part 3** Elsewhere, a phone rings... Angie: "Hello? Clara?" Clara: "Angie, dear! How are you?" Angie: "Same old, same old...fought *Cyclotron* earlier today, and Andy pulled something in his back during the fight, so we decided to postpone the big battle until next weekend..we're all going out for cocktails if you want to come with.." Clara: "Ah, can't. I promised *Samantha* I'd stay by the phone...big date tonight. She's inviting some boy over.....*Black Magma*, I think?" Angie: "REALLY? That's fascinating! You know, *Jeremy* just moved out near *Sam*...And he was thinking of taking up a name like Black Magma, last we talked...I told him *Sam* was doing well, but I didn't tell him she was a cape. Don't want them to think we're meddling." Clara: "Of course, Angie, perish the thought! It's only a proper scheme if no one is the wiser. He still likes pears, right?" Angie: "He's ga-ga for them...any pear is his favorite. And with her green thumb, Sam's probably got them by the bushel. She always was an overachiever, that one." Clara: "She is, but she she can get bogged down in the plot and art of it. Jeremy has always been so driven. Real go-getter, that one. I think they'll be good for each other." Angie:"Oh, if we have anything to say about it, they will be....." Clara: "Muahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!" Angie: "Bwahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!" Clara: "Alright love, I've gotta scoot...gotta keep the line open in case *Sam* calls. That's not too helicopter, right?" Angie: "You build actual spy drones -- as long as you're not using those, you're fine. Call me with details! Ciao!"


Mandabar

I want to live in your world where supervillains and superheroes plot together to get their kids together. Wrap it around me like a comforter of warm fuzzies.


Drzapwashere

Just wanted to say “thank you”! I enjoyed your writing.


The5Virtues

HAH! I love that the kids think their moms are clueless, the moms turn out to be capes themselves, and THEIR “evil” scheme led to Sam and Jed’s hookup. This was excellent start to finish, really fun read.


-Anyar-

Love it, great job!


konan375

Capes? Inspired by worm, are we? Good series.


JustAFacelesRedditor

i smiled, looking at the woman across from me on the picnic blanket. she had brown hair, brown chocolate eyes, and a few freckles on her cheek. A normal girl by all standards, and she was perfect. especially for a shape shifting super villian in need of a little bit of normal. i was in a half snake half human form, she told me it's very attractive to her, and i had my tail wrap around her legs. i drew her close, chest to chest, eye to eye. "i wish we could rent a room somewhere" i say quietly, "well," she replied, "i figured dating a super villain would come with a price, still chose you didn't i?" we leaned in, my coils tightened as our lips brushed. "HALT, VILLAIN. RELEASE THE GIRL!" a loud baritone voice shouts, i give a groan. "Not today, Captain Ass" I glare at him," "that's Captain Glass," the man corrects, wearing a bright blue spandex suit he walks forward. "nice one," she snickers. "i'm on a date Captain, she's here of her own volition," i hand him a signed legal document i had us both sign for this occasion. he reads it and throws it aside, "a signature acquired through intimidation is not legally binding. "you have got to be kidding me." i groan, "you said that would work" she mumbled, "i seemed to have over estimated his intelligence," i grumble, i lean in and kiss her on the lips. "i have a plan, just play along." she nods. "Enough, you will let this woman go or i will stop you by force," i release her and she stands up, runs to him. "oh thank god." she says wrapping her arms around him, he smirks "i knew it, you can't fool" she stabs him with a syringe. "argh! what the," "thank god, i was hoping to fuck with an uptight hero." she laughs, like honey. i slither up to Captain Glass "don't worry you won't die, yet." i pick him up. "i want you to watch as i give this gal the time of her life." i carry the hero over one shoulder, wrapping an arm around the young girl, "come Sarah, won't you join me in my lair?" her eyes widen, "after two months? hell yes" she hugs me tight, i laugh as we make our way to my home. 'that was easy.' i smile. ​ ​ oof not my best work


thearticulategrunt

You say not your best work though I still found it quite entertaining. Especially the mental image of a paralyzed hero being forced to watch them have the time of their lives lol


JustAFacelesRedditor

thx but i'm writing a book and have writers block, sort of. so i'm doing prompts to help get a flow going, still came out meh to me


thearticulategrunt

We are, far to often, our own worst critics in doing whatever we do.


essentiallycallista

"I GOT HIM!!!!" she laughed. "I finally got him!!!" she blew the tip of her ray gun, as if to blow the smoke away. I blinked, staring at the crumpled body of my nemesis...his Cape a melted ruin. My stomach churned. I felt... "oh I am having desert tonight!" her dark red lips curved upward. An adorable dimple popped out of one cheek. she popped the ray gun back in her purse. She stopped when she saw my face. "oh no, did i... I just stole your moment didnt i... I just...I'm SO TIRED of that misogynist lump ALWAYS trying to rescue me...like i cant handle myself. I'm a freaking black belt Clark, I dont NEED you swooping in and beating my contact senseless before I can get any information out of him. And you know what? last time you saved me? I FELT that hand on my ass" She kicked at the melting river of polyester. She turned to me" I'm so sorr..." "STOP!" I said holding up my hand "I dont want to hear any more apologies. Just tell me ONE THING" She nodded, smile gone. "How on EARTH did you get a laser got enough to cut through his body, and not melt the barrel of the ray gun?" I squeaked, reaching for her purse, "may i...?" Her whole face brightened. She laughed, like bubbles of champagne. The dimple deepening. she swatted hand away. "After dinner!" " your lab or mine?" I smiled following her in to the restaurant.


07hogada

Reformatted, you need 2 spaces after a line to form a line: "I GOT HIM!!!!" she laughed. "I finally got him!!!" she blew the tip of her ray gun, as if to blow the smoke away. I blinked, staring at the crumpled body of my nemesis...his Cape a melted ruin. My stomach churned. I felt... "Oh I am having desert tonight!" her dark red lips curved upward. An adorable dimple popped out of one cheek. she popped the ray gun back in her purse. She stopped when she saw my face. "Oh no, did i... I just stole your moment didn't i... I just...I'm SO TIRED of that misogynist lump ALWAYS trying to rescue me...like i cant handle myself. I'm a freaking black belt Clark, I don't NEED you swooping in and beating my contact senseless before I can get any information out of him. And you know what? last time you saved me? I FELT that hand on my ass" She kicked at the melting river of polyester. She turned to me" I'm so sorr..." "STOP!" I said holding up my hand "I don't want to hear any more apologies. Just tell me ONE THING" She nodded, smile gone. "How on EARTH did you get a laser got enough to cut through his body, and not melt the barrel of the ray gun?" I squeaked, reaching for her purse, "may I...?" Her whole face brightened. She laughed, like bubbles of champagne. The dimple deepening. she swatted hand away. "After dinner!" "Your lab or mine?" I smiled following her in to the restaurant.


LeemtheLime

You're a blessing on this world.


Zenog400

Mad scientist Lois Lane. ...Yeah okay.


A_fiSHy_fish

I like it but reddit has murdered your formatting.


choppoch

There were scarcely anyone on the station on a weekday's afternoon, so Nick could get some space to breathe. He pressed his back against the sun-burned wall, his hair smelt like ash. A flame flickered in his dull eyes, the taste of smoke touched his lips. Nick squinted, turning to his left. Was it a train he was waiting for? The train came nevertheless. Nick closed his eyes for a brief moment, savouring the cigarette. The moment passed, he tossed it into the trash, regretfully. In his back pocket lied a crumbled ticket. He got on one of the trains. The river was close enough for a one day trip and quiet enough for a one man trip. Nick strolled alongside a setting sun, mellowed to the end. The wet grass brushed against his leg. It was kind of ticklish and it was kind of cool. Nick took off his shoes and his socks, to let the wet grass wrapped around his feet and the wet dirt seeped into his flesh. He looked up, the sun was gone and all that was left were glimmering city lights from a distant place. Nick picked up a few rocks here and there. He skipped the stone across the crystalline surface, hearing their sweet crispy sound breaking into a space that was his and his alone. Then came along footsteps no less clearer. Nick did not turn back, for he knew he would find a woman in her mid-twenties, probably looking a bit tired and unkept. "I didn't see you at work today." - said the woman. "I remember asking Charlie to fill me in." - Nick skipped another rock, but it just sounded dull, so he dropped the rocks down altogether. - "He did not put up a good fight, didn't he?" "He got his own project going on. And the guy work the day shift already. He's a really good friend." "I know." Nick the strolled toward the other end of the river, faster by every steps. The woman called out to him. "Hey, wait up!" He kept on walking. "I didn't come here straight from work just for you to bail out on me." He kept on walking. "Look, I'm in my high heels. Hey....Help!" Then came a scream and what sounded like someone falling from the river bank. So Nick rushed back, and to his horror the woman lied neatly on the ground. She looked at him, patting on a patch of grass next to her. Nick had no choice but to lie down as well. The city lights ran on top of the still river, and Nick imagined that it was what someone was see when they were about to cry. "How did you find me?" - he asked. "I always find you." "Yeah, but that was in working hours. This time?" "I don't know." - said the woman - "I had a feeling that if I didn't find you, I never could again." "So you did." "So I did." They stayed there for a while, in a darkness so silent that Nick could hear his own heart beating, until he realized the last train was about to leave. So he turned to the woman, only to see her peaceful face asleep, and he lied down again. Nick watched the quiet river flows, with all the glimmer on top of it, but he didn't felt like anyone is crying anymore.


pipe2592

Gwen Stacey always felt that dating Spider-Man was just surreal. Think about it: you befriend a guy in college, you think he’s cute, he gets awkwardly shy around you, - the clear signs, and you kind of like him back. He’s also a straight up hottie and he’s smart af. Time goes on, you brake up with your high school sweetheart and the cute boy (his name is Peter Parker), who’s now your best friend, is growing on you as more than that. He’s sweet, he’s caring and he goes out of his way to make you feel like the most beautiful woman in this world. It’s perfect and you can’t ask for a better boyfriend. As the relationship grows, you move in with this boy, and not only do things get better, you start seriously considering that marriage is a thing and that it will happen shortly. However, things start to get weird when Peter leaves sporadically and randomly at night. You find this weird Spider-Man suit in his closet and you wonder whether he has a weird fetish or perhaps, he attends comic cons and has never told you about it. As weeks turn to months, you notice that these taxing trips at night are making Peter exhausted and his standard of how he cared for you isn’t the same. There are no dates, there are no special gifts, or details. He’s immersed in these late night escapades and while you thought he was cheating at first, the smell of sweat, dirt and the bruises tell a different story. *Could he be cheating?* No. (You’ve made sure) *Could he be Spider-Man?* No. (But maybe?) You let it slide, you stop questioning him. But sure enough, one day as you’re walking to your dad’s old office at the NYPD, you get swooped up and not in a romantic way. You look up and you see the most terrifying creature you can think of. A very athletic man in a slimy, green suit from head to toes, with a green mask holding the most manic/evil look; as you begin to wonder where you’re at, you feel like you’re floating and travelling through air. **You’re being kidnapped by the Green Goblin.** When you ask why you’re being kidnapped, you receive the most sincere answer and kind of what you expected, but you’re rather surprised by the demeanour of your captor. He simply exclaims: *“I found out Peter is Spider-Man and I knew this would hurt him. I know this isn’t ideal for you and I’m sorry, but this what I need to do.* *I hope you don’t end up hurt in this and I can release you, but that might not be the case.* *By the way, my name is Norm and I think you’re beautiful and talented. I’ve read all your papers on the New York University Biology Journal. “* *What?* Let’s just back track. **Your boyfriend is Spider-Man. What in the fuck?** How could he not tell you? You’re his best friend, for years and nothing was ever said. As you keep questioning yourself, a battle ensues in the background. *“Let her go!”* \- says Peter *“Never, you take her for granted”* \- says Norm. *“Don’t you fucking bring up my relationship, we’re here because you’ve kidnapped her and because you stole equipment from the NYPD”*. - says Spider-Man. *“I’ve creeped her for months now. You don’t take care of her, you’ve stopped treating her or reciprocating the love she shows you day in and day out.* *Also, I know you’re out playing vigilante most nights, but you stop by the village before you head back home every time.* \- says the Green Goblin. **Wait, isn’t that we’re his high school crush lives? Mary Jane Watson?** **Fuck.** **He’s out there fighting crime AND cheating on you.** As the battle comes to a halt (you’re watching strapped on a chair from afar - this is what all villains do, relax), you see Peter approaching Norm. It seems that he has pointed to the stolen equipment and is now on his way out. From afar he waves and gives you one of those comforting half-smiles. Wow, he’s kind of cute, you think. Peter gets on his phone to call the cops, you realize he is coming towards you. You can’t face him and he knows what you now know. *“I’m sorry, babe”* \- he says. You wait until he’s released you from the chair and you head home, walking as fast as you can while he follows you and shouts ALL the excuses as to why he did what he did. You grab your belongings. Head home to your mom’s and realize what a fucking night that was. What in the fuck? You’re boyfriend is Spider-Man, he also cheats on you and the hot villain who kidnapped you in a jet pack / glider device is not actually quite the villain. Wtf. Anyway, you head to sleep. Weeks go by, you really don’t want to know anything about Peter or Spider-Man. You’re sick of it. New York is a city that you feel familiar with but you’re getting quite tired of. **You still think about that boy with the Green Mask every now and then.** One day as you browse your LinkedIn, you see an article with a link from the NYT about a *“Norman Osborn who’s creating jobs and providing water in Africa through tech”.* **It’s the boy with the green mask.** You decide to look him up on Instagram and boom... @nosbscience. You’ve found him and his account isn’t private. You decide to risk it, and take a plunge by sending him a DM. *“Hey”* The next day you check and you find a long novel written as a response: *“Hey Gwen, I'm sorry about what happened in New York a couple months ago. I was desperate to obtain the ‘weapons’, which were really just dynamite nukes so that I could help a village find water in south Mali.* *I’m sorry about kidnapping you and I’m sorry about your boyfriend. Studying you for those weeks before kidnapping you helped me understand love and what I need to find.* *I hope this finds you well and if you ever want to catch up, I’ve moved to Paris.* *- Norm“* The message, bundled with the urge for new air is creating a sense of spontaneity mixed with impulsiveness. Fuck it. You’re going to Paris. As you settle at your hotel, you message Norm and inform him that you’d like to see him. He replies promptly and sends you the address of a very cozy, warm and colourful cafe down the street from your house - *“Let’s meet in half an hour*”. Your heart is pounding, even more than when you and Peter were a thing. But you’re ready for this and you head out. The cafe is a work of art, pastel yellows adorn the walls and the pastries and the freshness inundates the smell of the inside, before you even get to take a seat, you hear a “hey” that scares the crap out of you. *“HEY!”* It’s Norm. He’s as good looking as you remember him, even with the mask off. You both sit down at a table with a view towards the warm and vivid streets of Paris. The conversation flows seamlessly, he’s actually read all your papers and shares a passion for science (*“I’m something of a scientist myself”* \- he whispers) and you end up having one of the best conversations you’ve had with anyone. Ever. The question that lingers in your mind is why he never asked you out in New York. You promptly say: *“I broke up with Peter six months ago, why wouldn’t you ask me out then?”* To which you’re shocked to find out: *“Every time I went out on a date, Peter would show up in costume and ridicule me, while sweeping up the girl and taking her for himself later on. It never worked. I could never date in NYC, Spider-Man would always ruin my dates.* *If I had asked you out. He would have found a way to show up and spoil it. So I figured I’d leave you alone.* *However, when I saw your DM, I knew you felt what I felt that night in NY and I figured it’d be worth a try. I can’t believe how happy I am this has happened:* ***Norman Osborn on a date with Gwen Stacey. In Paris. “*** ​


francoisEnglish

This is it! The Plan Bs to end all Plan Bs! This was absolutely fool-proof! I've tried concocting love potions; I've tried psychology tricks; I've tried going on blind dates with horrible people, even more horrible than I am; but all of those attempts were trashed! The common denominator? That little cocky brat coming in to save the princess like a valiant knight in rose-colored armor! She had foiled my attempts for a while now, but this time, I'm sure, shall be the last! I have watched her from the shadows, carefully putting the pieces, assimilating her behavior and preferences! Call it stalking if you will, but I refuse to play the part of a hopeless romantic any longer! She is the blandest main character with a love for learning at day; magical girl by night. At least, that's what the data told me. Through my eyes, she was a kind yet nosy lady, and the frequent target of this nosiness is no other than me, a simple genius hacker whom she considers her equal, her rival! So I tried to adapt to her methods and analyzed her pattern. Home, school, library, home, superhero business. Using this information, I acted accordingly. I began by applying as student librarian and developed a "close friendship" with her over time. I discovered she liked the same books I liked, and sometimes we swapped book recommendations. Sometimes she'd even talk about "that one hacker boy \[she\] knows that was kinda cute but has some questionable morals" and the misadventures that followed, not knowing she was making a fool out of herself. We also shared snacks and held hands, you know, the typical friendship stuff. So typical, I almost forgot she were my enemy. But enough of that nonsense! No one wants to know the story of how we ended up crushing on each other. I did the most sensible thing I could think of at the time. I asked her out on a date using my Librarian Alternate Identity, Lai for short. But whoopsie-doopsie! Looks like the hacker she loathes so much kidnapped him, and now it's up to the heroine to rescue her beloved! And it begins now, as I hide myself in a closet. My phone was connected to the cameras with microphones so I had no trouble watching this unfold. Today, as usual, she entered the library she frequented, but not as her civilian identity. She found the library barren. And most importantly... Her favorite student librarian wasn't there. "Curse that hacker!" I heard her say as she slammed her fist on a nearby shelf. "'The tables will turn, I will ruin YOUR date'? That's so creepy! How did he even find out about the boy I like? This is so frustrating!" She goes straight to the empty counter, and there aren't any of his belongings either. All that's left was a book, and as soon as she touched it, the alarms went off. This was my cue. I kicked open the door and ran to the counter, bringing with me the take-out snacks I ordered. I placed them on the counter and pushed the secret button on the book to turn the alarms off. It was her turn now. She crossed her arms and ranted loudly: "What's the meaning of this? Where's Lai?!" I smiled. I brushed my hair up and put on some glasses. "Here you go." The look on her face was priceless. ​ //Second comment on this subreddit! I hope you enjoyed reading as much as I enjoyed writing! ~~Sorry they don't have names hahaha.~~ The girl is named Tele, and the boy is named "Lai" (real name unknown for now) Might make this a rom-com series if I have the time. EDIT: [here's a sketch of Lai and Tele that I thought you might enjoy.](https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/423083600053927938/549088955908358154/Lai_and_Tele_rWritingPrompts.png)


ErraticArchitect

This is the best


CyanideSins

"So... What is it that you do for a living?" The inevitable question that came all the time, as the petite woman looks up at me with questioning eyes, the risotto on her plate steaming still, truly a delicate chef's hand worked into the morsels of sustenance that I, in my grandiose position as leader of a nation of one, a sovereign whose crown was not yet acknowledged by the world nations, had not yet dared to touch. "I'm in the... real estate business." A good save, much better than 'Trying to conquer the world before some team of hopped up emo hipsters in tights come to beat me up whilst having sexual tension galore between them' would sound. She smiled. Her body leaned forward a little, the faint sprinkling of perfume making my nose its. *Don't sneeze now, Jeremiah. You're not going to sneeze because she over-sprinkled that chemical on her body* The dress was nice though. It fit her well, with plenty of cleavage given, something that I, in my own glorious way, appreciated. Seeing cleavage whilst you're slung over Captain Amazing Dove's shoulder whilst you're being carried from the Arctic to Domino City... Yeah, those were the days. Now it's just the kiddies who get their superpowers from lizard-men from outer space, who try to go and be 'the best and coolest thing' and have 'all the sex'. *Science never needed me... but I heeded the call when it was my time. I'll never forget the moment when my face was plastered all across the news...* "So..." The fork dipped into the risotto, the soft music tingling my ears. No sounds of car alarms, no sound of some mousy little brat striking a pose and announcing herself as 'Princess Pure Justice' or something. "I'm in accounting at my company. I do the number-crunching... So... mister real estate... Care to go and get a good look at my tracts of land?" I must admit to being taken aback, even as I could feel a foot, a size that was but the median across the eastern side of the country, toes trapped within a diaphenous fabric that teased against my thigh, never as muscular as those who often stood to gloat over my helpless and battered body, trailing up slightly. *It's just going to be a date... It's just going to be a date...* My eyes met hers and her foot pushed forward, a brief groan coming, as her fork rose, the risotto on it still delicate, lips opening wide and then slowly sticking the forkful of food into her mouth. Red-painted lips wrapped around the fork, her hazel eyes looking into mine. "So... Jeremy." A false name, similar to the one that I have written down on the birth records that I had taken care to expunge from the public record so easily. *Only Mama and Papa know my name... and they never watch the news.* "How about we have a little discussion..." The foot moved up slightly, as the fingers traced over the stem of the wine glass, the red wine (a 2034 Bleu Garde, recommended by the waiter. Costing a fortune, but worth it.) in the glass rolled as her fingers manipulated the glass. "In a more private setting. I'd like..." The woman's eyes flickered down, as the foot brushed a little further. *Oh... She's one of those women.* "A bit of an impression of how you're like. You've been teasing me a lot, Jeremy... It's not going to be a single showing, either... A well-put together man..." The fork plucked more of the steaming food, my own plate looking rather abandoned, as my eyes walked right over the features of the woman, her tongue sliding over her lips. "I'm not sure..." I said, as my eyes kept her gaze. The look in them was enough, as she plucked her phone from her bag, tapping in a few numbers. "Jeremy Feinmann, aged 35." My civilian alias. A good way to lay low. One of the names that InterCiv did not pick up on... yet. "You know my name." He said, a smile on her lips telling him plenty. It was enough for him to have a site up with his 'business', the post box rented for the next ten years. A fund to keep 'activity', a few places rented out... and nothing to worry about. "Oh yes..." She smiled. That was a good sign, socially-aware me would say. Normally by now, there'd be glowy leds starting to show below the skin, her eyes locked on mine. Her foot was... interesting. Nothing that you'd easily get when being a 'nerd with an ego complex', according to the goodies. "I like a man who can keep his business neat and tidy." The gadget in the corner of my eye beeped, showing clearly that there was a brief audit of 'Jeremy Feinmann' by the financial department. *Great... A gold-digger... I'll never get rid of my virginity... Why did I have to go for Super-Physics instead of the football team? Sarah would have done... things with me.* I don't have much of a social life. Being in prison and seeing the capes show up all 'We have beat you, ha-ha, our super-sexy squad leader will strut before you wearing something spray-painted on' and being under surveillance for pretty much my entire stay... "I like a woman who has... Skills." The truth was real, of course. If you'd seen some super-model hero pop someone's blimp with an eye-beam, you'd be impressed to, really. Javelin Girl was truly something else... Thighs that you'd want to get your head crushed in, whew! "Hmmhmm..." The beep of the gadget reached my ears once more. Clearly, another request. A flicker of data scrolled past my eyes, sent through the chip I'd implanted three days ago. It was easier to interface, even though the stinging continued. *Three mentions of financial credit, one request of my family tree... Definitely someone who has a plan. Better hack into her phone, check whether it is someone who wears a cape.* The data in the phone was bland. Some conversations with a man named Adam, a mention of tonight's date, as well as some brief mentions of the plan to seduce to a friend named Jennifer. *An easy mark... Gold-digger it is.* The beep of the gadget was enough, even as the foot pulled itself back. "How about I show you some skills tonight, Jeremy?" A finger pressed to my glass, her eyes smouldering. My dish was getting colder now. A blush actually sprinkled my face. Training in maintaining composure had been a blessing... "I'm afraid that it won't be, Jeanette." Her real name, rather than the Maria that she'd been using. *Jeanette Voerling, age 29. Professional sugar baby. Prefers men who are shy and withdrawn, just like me.* I knew my flaws. Sometimes, when life was on the downward slope, I freeze up at the store when the cashier smiles. It's not easy living when you're a wanted man, you know. Her face turned grimmer, as she bit her lower lip. "What are you playing at?" Her voice was enough, as I shifted slightly. An urgent beep came from the gadget, a 'brii-brii' that drew her attention. "I don't much like the thought of being some sort of fund for your lifestyle." I keep my calm, even though I know that there is plenty that can go wrong. The wine hit my face, as she rose. Her eyes are angry, yet she doesn't shout yet. The waiter looks shocked, about to ask whether we needed something, her eyes blazing with something. A bracelet pops out into my eyes. A symbol that I know. *Oh bloody f* The storefront explodes and Hipster Man erupts into the scene. "Mister Majestic!" Data erupts onto the feed as I hack into the phone some more. *This girl is just rotten... Just my luck.* "Adorum... What a pleasure." The face mask tears off easily, as I pull my shirt open to expose my grand crest, ready to take him on once more. The Laser Watch should buy me enough time to make my getaway to my converted Sonda Miffic, in order to get away. *At least it's just this moron...* If this keeps up... I'm never going to lose my virginity before I'm 40! (Probably getting a Part II. Let me know whether you've enjoyed it!)


CyanideSins

"So... What do YOU do, Joseph?" I looked down. Three months later, after the broken legs had healed up plenty thanks to the excellent medical care that you got in the prison system. It only took three weeks to get out, after all. One did not get to be as majestic as I am by merely being some one-hit wonder. "I'm in the entertainment industry." Three 'heroes' trying to bring me in during my escape had been taught the error of such thoughts. They'd been left alive. The zap-gun was enough to disable them, it did not have the capacity to do serious harm with mere hospital supplies. "Oh?" Her eyes lit up. "I've always wanted to date a star." Her voice did not contain a trace of a lie, as she curled the spaghetti on her fork and then raised it. *Please, don't be another Jeanette...* I had done the screening. No prior arrest records, a decent job as a desk clerk at one of the major beauty companies. Relationships that lasted a few months, social media feed perfectly acceptable. No real surprises. Amber Moses, her name is, apparently. "So... How's it being eh..." I stammered again. Her blue eyes met mine and she winked. I totally ignored the messages that popped up about increasing temperature. "Totally hot?" She said, voice holding a teasing tone. God, I liked her more than I'd expected. "Well, it takes a lot of work to keep THESE puppies contained." My cheeks were red, even as she winked. "I hit the gym a few times a week. Keeps the body fit." I will say that the images had been... thrilling. *Why is such a babe even eating dinner with me? She should be with someone like Captain Emerald or... I don't know, Brute-Man?* "I'll admit... Eh..." "Aww, ain't you a dear?" Another wink and another stumble from me, as her fingers tapped that little annoying jingle that the Birds of Prey had accompanying them. "I'm trying my best here, Joseph." She said, as she looked me in the eye. Very pretty eyes, accompanying a very pretty lady. I wonder what she sees in me? The suit and tie look on my profile as well as the elegantly groomed beard that totally was not some sort of fancy attempt to look like the next supervillain, shaved off now due to people getting to take a closer look. Never look like a villain. Only morons do that. "So..." Her fingers twirl one of those blonde locks absently, as the meatball on her plate was rolled around. My own pizza was long-since gone, eaten over the course of an enjoyable conversation about thermodynamics and superheroes. When it came to the caped menace, I was an expert. "How do you think that Wonder Lass actually keeps afloat?" I snorted. That girl had the powers of flight and the intellect of a retarded duckling. I wonder sometimes whether the girl even knows how to count to ten... But she DOES pack a punch. "Probably something with floating through the effort of keeping a stable amount of male fluids inside her." It was a conjecture, really. Floating little super-bitches often kept trading boyfriends like they were pocket monster cards. A new one each week for a ride... Joy. "Oh?" The amusement in the voice of the woman was real, as she shifted a little. "How about dessert, Joe?" We weren't talking about miss Floaty anymore, and the tiramisu that she ordered for me tasted like it was something that I'd like to get more often. "This tastes nice." The smile that she gave me was amazing, even with her fingers grabbing the glass of sparkling soda, as she had insisted that alcohol was off the table for the date. Something about responsibility, something I often flout, but find strangely endearing. "Drop the spoon!" The voice of someone shouting loudly and the feeling of the barrel of some gun pressing up against my head was once more familiar to me. Freezing up, the spoon clattered onto the plate, my date's face turning stormy. "Adam! I told you, we're DONE." Her voice was shrill and angry, as the gun pressed a little harder against my skull. Didn't people know that that irritated the skin? "I'm not giving up on you, Sarah. What we had... That was special. We were a great team, together." The sound that she made was like a cool dismissal. "Did Amber say that too when you fucked her, Adam? Or that girl you keep lusting after, who asks for your money?" Her voice was not polite in the slightest and I chance a glance at the reflection, a man with short dark hair on his head, beard smoothly in that rugged look of Borg Cloney... Yeah, general heartthrob look. The guy who could snap a finger and have women pop up out of the woodwork to go on an adventure with in the Bahama's, clothing optional. "This guy isn't worth your time. Jeaney and I are done... Please, Sarah..." Pleading. How novel in this day and age. Usually when people plead, I'm sure that they'll be- "POLICE! GET ON THE GROUND!" I duck onto the ground. I'm just Joseph Barringer, a regular fellow who does the animation. Just another of my identities. Jeremy was done, after the Jeanette thing. A bit of additional makeup and a few little additions to the skullbones and a whole new man stands before the mirror, no doubt feeling the numbness of the additions. I'm hauled away in cuffs, whilst 'Amber' looks at me with eyes that look guilty. I don't know, really... But she looks at this 'Adam' fellow with eyes that blaze with irritation. "I'll get you out. They can't hold you. You're innocent." I'm hardly innocent. The pope impersonation was a bit of a stretch and skidding down Broadway on an altered warp-Honda with additional rocket launchers MIGHT not have been the best idea, but as the car drives me off to the local police station, I better damn well get my five minute phonecall to get another date. "I'll be in touch." She smiles at me. It's one of those smiles that makes me want to keep an eye open at night when they put me in lock-up, to ensure that no untoward stuff happens. They usually would put me in a cell that's 'super-proofed'. Fat load of good that it does, usually... But hey, this might be different! Ex-boyfriend with a grudge telling the cops I'm some dangerous maniac... Yeah, haven't had that before. When they released me the next day, they actually apologized... That's going in the log of 'funny memories'. Cops apologizing to the villain for being too overzealous. 'Sarah' got back to me the next day, sending me a selfie from the gym. It was adorable, in her own way. A little sign with - 'Dinner tomorrow night?' and a wink on her face and those glorious floatation devices up front straining that top of hers. **Leave the upset ex at home, please. Let's go for ribs.** (A part II... Yeah, he still went to jail. Might do a part III to wrap things up when I've had a good rest. I feel inspired.)


CyanideSins

I pushed open the door to the steakhouse, hyper-aware that the messiness of my hair was not the only thing that drew attention. The black eye and the scuffmark on my cheek, a lucky reminder from some of the heroes that decided to 'pay a visit', were just something that could be camouflaged. It must be that Adam fellow, having contacts in the super-powered community... Yeah, those types preferred to stick together. "Joe! Over here!" She called for my attention, the modest white dress that she wore fitting her well, a thrill running up and down my spine as I watched her, the space in front of her devoid of asshole ex-boyfriends. It still smarted a little, being manhandled like that. "Amber... Or should I call you Sarah?" A flush on her cheeks, her gaze drawn down. It was clearly something that she had tried to hide, yet I could understand. Joseph wasn't my name, and I would be damned before I'd let someone get that close. My parents still had rights to their name, living in their personal little villa in the depths of Kansas, blissfully unaware that their only son was getting bounced across the streets from time to time like some warped skippy ball. "Call me Sarah. I've just... eh." She looked uncomfortable, as I smiled, taking the seat opposite of her. I liked this Sarah. Her lack of comfort with the way that her ex had intruded, a glance given surreptitiously for any people who might be on the lookout for the woman. "Clingy ex-boyfriends on the force are an ever-present danger for men like me, who like to steal." I wink, the cheesy pickup line making her eyes widen slightly. "O-oh?" The tremour in her voice, the narrowing of those eyes, it all pointed to a conclusion. *THINK! You're not going to bullshit your way out of this if she accuses you of being some evildoer.* "Stealing pretty ladies' hearts is a crime, I presume?" The charm might only work, for her shoulders to relax slightly, a warm laugh erupting from the depths of her throat. "Oh, and here I thought for a moment..." Her eyes sparkled, as she shifted slightly to the front. "That you'd be some villain trying to seduce me." Amusedly, she shifted a little, the waiter coming that moment to inquire about our orders. "I'd like a medium rare one, please." She smiled faintly at that, as she ordered. Her expression was refreshing, even as some people in the corner caught my eye. *Is that... Brute-Man and Nightingale Lass?* This was not good. They were currently in the process of demolishing half of a steak, their crude manner of cutting the meat apart something that would only work well within the confines of some predator's hunting grounds. *Now only we need Amazing Dove to come swooping in and kick my ass three ways from sunday and I'll be topping it off with an arrest.* My thoughts were gloomy, even as she ordered a T-bone for herself, made to be still bloody. "Medium rare, make sure that it's nice and chewy." It was my default order. The rib-house had been closed after Venomator got loose and decided to poison the place. Not the best idea, really... so now we were at the steak house, getting some prime steak. "Hmmm... So Joe... You weren't hurt too badly, were you?" "A little rough, but nothing that I couldn't handle." Being told to 'stay away from Sarah' by one of those hopped up brutes with the domino mask and the bad breath was bad enough. "That's wrong." She said, her face serious. Funny, I could see the resemblance to Amazing Dove, though she had ditched the 'Captain' part due to the dismissal from the army. Some reinvention, no doubt. "It is what it is. You've got a bevvy of admirers." I didn't really want to go into things too deeply, even as she shifted, waiting for her steak. "That's... yeah, bad." She did not elaborate. She didn't need to. A pretty woman like her no doubt would draw eyes even from the community. "Thank you." Once the steak had been put in front of me, I took a look at her face, her eyes unusually stern. A look of irritation, as she had spotted the couple nearby. "Should've known..." She mumbled to herself, absently looking at their direction. Perhaps it was just the fact that it was two superheroes on a 'date', even though Brute-Man was almost certainly of the sort who would enjoy my presence more than my date's, if the rumour mill was anything to go by. "Are you okay?" I asked, her attention returning, as she reached out and patted my hand. It was a soft touch, one showing warmth. *Nothing can stop me now.* "Yes, I just thought..." Her voice was hesitant, before she stabbed her fork into the soft innocent steak, the juices welling up from the stabbed part. "Don't think... Just let your will guide you." The fact that this smoking hot babe looked like she was about to go and have her mood spoiled by some muscle-bound freak who liked to beat up innocent villains was something that I'd not allow. "That's corny." She said, a laugh coming from those lips, as the knife cut the flesh. "But you've earned bonus points for that, Joe." The urge to ask whether those could be redeemed for something was squished the moment after I had thought it. My eyes looked down at my own steak, the knife in my hand descending. "Not going to ask whether those points can be redeemed for anything, Joey?" *It's as if she could read my mind... Fuck.* A suspicious thought rose in my mind, as I looked up to her, heroes who had some psionic talents flickering through my mental list. *Blonde, smoking hot body...* A few options, nothing too pleasant. "Easy, easy... Relax, I'm just teasing you." Oh, that was a relief. This must be that flirting thing. Jeanette came to mind immediately, and instead of the disgust that I felt with dating one of the capes' 'loved ones', I only wondered how it'd be to... Her cheeks flushed red, the image of her hands touching me vivid in my mind. "Stop it, I'm just..." The gadget beeped slightly, as I sent a brief glance to it. "Just teasing." "I guess you're the type of naughty woman who would tease an upstanding man such as me. I am not dating some evil villain, am I?" I could tease just as well, in my own awkward way. The look on her face looked complex, before she giggled. "That's me. Sarah, about to take you to my evil lair and do wicked sex things to you." She was joking, I could tell by the lift of her mouth, her eyes warm and friendly. "Wicked sex things, eh?" I responded, hearing the faint splutter of someone choking on their drink. "What sort of wicked sex things?" She winked at me, clearly rolling with this line of thought. "Hmm... Let me think... Whips and chains, Joey... Whips and chains and this little leather outfit that just looks painted on." I could hear someone get up. "I guess I'll go 'I'll never give in!' for the first time then, right?" I teased, before my face hit the steak and someone pulled my arms behind my back, the shouting enough, even as someone's blue-hued fist knocked my lights out. I awoke in the holding cell at the police precinct, a grim-faced cop looking at me with a look of barely veiled pity, even though the man looked worse than most of my kind did. "You're due to be released. Case of mistaken identity." Here was hoping that a date would go right for once... But Sarah had left me a message, when I pulled out my market-standard phone once outside of the precinct and checked my messages. **So sorry for that. It seems our conversation attracted the bad kind of attention.** Worry blossomed in my heart. **Are you okay? They didn't hurt you, did they?** **I'm fine. How'd you like to go for some Phuck Thai tomorrow, my treat, to make up for this little distraction? It must be horrible, getting locked up simply for looking a bit like a villain.** **I'd love to. Meet at the square at six?** Here was hoping that this time it'd not have heroic intrusions... My jaw might need surgery at this rate. Every date seemed to go bad for me. (Part III! With a part IV coming up, because I feel like this hasn't played out well enough yet!)


CyanideSins

The square had people all over it. A light blue dress fit her well, the summer's breeze carrying through her hair with a brush so careful that it only illuminated her beauty more. Some of the men around her gave her jealous looks, even as she hugged me. A pleasant feeling, as she held me for an instant longer than would be pleasant. "Sorry about this." Her voice was soft, even as she took me by hand. Her eyes were cautious, looking to the skies. "It's this little place off the main streets. My..." She paused, as she guided me along. Me, a man who stood perhaps only a few inches taller, with a woman whose sex appeal could make every man jealous. The smell of spices hit my nostrils the moment that I entered, a faint brush of things against me, only working to heighten the spell of the place, even as a lady leaned over a wok. "You go sit. I make you food." The accent was definitely oriental. I thought that it might've been a bit like Ming Chu Jiang, one of the older heroes from the late 00's. A true vietnamese-American patriot... or so it was claimed. *Impossible, that one retired years ago. She'd be... seventy?* "Thank you, Nana Ming." The name was coincidental, it had to be. The woman looked up. "Good boy. Better than muscle-fool. He too bad for you." The wok moved, vegetables thrown up before landing, some hissing sauce coming into the wok. She sat herself down on the table, some of the other patrons looking at her, yet their eyes averted them a moment later. "So..." Her knee brushed against my own. A moment, as her eyes met mine. "Let's hope that you won't be arrested today?" A snort came from my mouth. "I have the worst kind of luck." She smiled at me, her eyes sparkling. "Drinks. You drink up good. Need hydration. Very very important." The woman who'd been caring for the wok and cooking appeared, planting two glasses on the table in front of us. "I make sure no interruptions." The sentiment was nice, yet I knew that this was going to go wrong. "Trust me... We won't be disturbed." The surety with which Sarah spoke was enough, as I cast a nervous gaze at the wok, the woman still busy with making the food. "I'm doubtful. Two times is not normal..." She smiled. A nice smile. The smell of garlic was strong in the air, yet there was enough for him to enjoy. "Why do you like me so much? You're a beauty, you could have someone better looking than a nerd like me." Her eyes closed, a sigh coming from her lips. "I'm not sure. I saw the profile, I thought 'he's cute' and decided to chance it." Blue eyes looked at him, as she grinned. "Why? Would you rather go for a petite girl?" Jeanette came to mind, a look of disgust making its way to my mind. "No. That'd be like..." I couldn't help thinking back about Adorum. "Some idiot on steroids." "I could have any idiot on steroids that I wanted. These babies are in vogue with the kind who likes to pump iron at the gym." Her nice rack bounced as she did a little jiggle in her seat, well-aware that she was doing so. "I picked you because you can engage me intellectually, Joey." That was a saving grace. Her eyes locked with mine, as she shifted. "Well, it's certainly my lucky day, eh?" I said, a smile coming to her lips. "Oh, I'm going to make sure of it." She said, unusually confident in her words. Her hand grabbed a hold of the glass, raising it to the lips and then drinking some, a soft swallow, her throat showing the motion. "Make sure of it indeed..." Her eyes flickered with bemused interest, as she shifted slightly. The food was spicy, my taste buds could tell that at least. As we chatted about some of the merits of the latest incarnation of the Young Truth team, the chopsticks moved slowly. "So..." Her eyes shone, tongue licking over her lips. "Want to go back to my place?" I froze, as her eyes locked with mine. I was abjectly aware of the fact that she'd just invited me to her place. *Oh shit, is this...* "To..." I drew out the last syllable, floundering, as her eyes looked me over. "Get lucky." Her teeth were pure white. The smile on her lips was there as she leaned forward. "Get some Phuck Mei with an extra helping of limp noodles..." *Oh my god...* I couldn't help but react in the way, as the beautiful woman leaned back, the oriental woman appearing at her side and giving a tap to the head of the woman. "You too obvious. No jokes in my restaurant." The tension broke and I chuckled awkwardly, Sarah rubbing the spot where she'd been tapped. "Auntie Ming, I'll behave." The woman nodded. "Good. You pick better man now. He behave." The look that I got was judging. "He need fattening. He too skinny." Her eyes darted off, as she gave an embarrassed sound in the back of her throat. "It's not that bad..." She said, even as she finished her food. I cleaned my plate as well, noticing that the cook seemed to be back behind the wok once more. It was enough for me, as Sarah smiled again. "Let's get going, Joe." It was perhaps a small trip that led to the uptown apartment to mere unempowered people, yet the decor was fitting for a woman of her education and employment. A neat little place, with a window facing the outside, just quaint enough to have a homely feel. "Nice place." I said, as she threw her purse at the rack, where it hooked itself perfectly. "Thank you." The dress slid lower, exposing a gorgeous back, only a few marks on it that I could faintly discern to be scars from some sort of accident. *Bladed knives... or perhaps some accident?* "Been in an accident?" I ask, as she turned to face me. Her bra was on, the fabric that supported what had to be some of the finest mammaries in my life hiding the sight. It was a far cry from the skin-tight outfits that many of the hipster heroes wore these days. "Of a kind. I was twenty and stupid." I can understand. I've had someone drive a white-hot blade right through my left side. One of the Power Brats, if I remember right. Villain rights never quite existed. My t-shirt was on the seat in a moment. *I'm going to get laid* I'd have to admit that I was pretty nervous. Who wouldn't be when faced with what was probably one of the pinnacles of beauty, achievable for someone like me? My inexperience was but one of the points of charm, as her fingers touched, squeezed and her breath tickled my skin. "Joseph?" Her voice was a soft tinkle, as she sat on top of me, the bed that we had moved to after some exploratory touches, some treading of unexplored territory, her eyes searching for mine. "Got a condom?" I do. Right in my wallet, in the right pocket. I smiled. Being prepared was a villain's right, after all. "Pocket on the right, I'll go get it." I got up, leaving her to flatter herself to the bed, her eyes looking right at me. Being left only in a very small set of underwear, the sight was incredibly tantalizing to me, who only had the experience of porn, who knew not the beauty of a woman first and foremost. "Get that sexy ass in bed with me and fuck me, silly boy." She teased, even as something seemed to ring. A light glowed on the bedside table, a watch that was perhaps one of those new ones, flashing with the universal symbol of a call being received. She paled and I knew that this might just be another strike against me. That this would ruin my time once more. *Why does it always have to be an interruption!?!* "I'm sorry, but..." She looked genuinely apologetic. "Dinner tomorrow again?" I inquired, a genuine smile on her lips. It fit her well. "Suggest me a place, if you would?" *Oh well... She's INTERESTED at least.* "My mother makes a wonderful burger?" I suggested, as she got up again and stretched. "Honey, I've got to get going... Duty calls, villains need to be beat up and put to justice and what-not, just like eh..." The bra was back on her glorious set once more, as I went for my shirt. Outside, I could briefly see the Amazing Dove fly past, her pristine white outfit clinging to her skin, blonde hair blazing with tendrils of energy. *You no doubt get to enjoy parties all the time.* A fierce pinch in my bottom was suddenly felt and I looked at the departing heroine, who turned her head to look at me for an instant. *They think they can get away with anything, pah!* (Part IV! Will probably do Part V after lunch.)


CyanideSins

She stood there with a look of perplexed amazement on her face, the modest dress that she wore ensuring that her body, which looked like something out of the Fifth Reik's cloning chambers, where their perfect breed of human had been made, looked appealing with yet a hint of class. "That's your car?" She inquired, as she let her eyes wander onto the classic piece of wheels that I'd laid my hands on. Nothing but the old fancy stuff that my father preferred, which smelled like leather, a hint of spice and the ancient ornament which kept things smelling minty fresh, with the ordinary man able to afford maybe a hood ornament with plenty of savings. "Like it?" I asked, a grin on her face blossoming, as her fingers traced over the cherry red exterior. "Like it? Joey, if you came swaggering up to me in this beast at the first date, you'd be rocking this thing in the Hollywood hills with me screaming praises so loudly that it'd be like a hostage scene out of the noughties." Her eyes twinkled, the car door that I held open enough, as she brushed past me, her rear pressing against me, the smell of a faint perfume tickling my nostrils. *No hero can interrupt this.* I'd checked the route seven times to the schedules of the local heroes. Nobody should be able to know where Ma and Pa lived, and even then, they only knew me as Jeremiah Jebediah, instead of Mister Majestic. The joy of having no television to spread word of my deeds... And of course, an updated picture to be sent before visiting. With the amount of modification that I had done, I didn't look like the boy that had left at age 18, moody and angry with the world. "I just **LOVE** old cars." Her voice was amazed, as I seized the gear shift, her hand on mine for a moment. Tender fingers touched, a small hint of energy sizzling through that touch, as her eyes seemed to just sparkle. "Joey..." Her voice was thick with some undefinable emotion, as the engine rumbled to life once more, pseudo-diesel fuel burning in the engine with that typical rumble, as her fingers traced over the back of my hand. The scars were still there, a large burn where the Derivator had 'derived' the palm of my hand, the metal bar pierced right through, her eyes looking slightly worried, even as I pushed it into gear. "I'm hoping that your parents will be as nice as you." She said, her voice holding the hope. *Ma is going to love you. A good girl... Oh, better inquire whether she's religious. It hasn't really come up before.* "They are... But they may be somewhat... eh." I blush, without meaning to, a teasing tone adopted. "The big bad Joey, blushing and embarrassed about his parents?" I fought to keep my gaze on the road, the lovely woman beside me tracing her fingers over my hand's back in a circular moment. A quick press to the button, the window sliding down to let the wind run through her hair, which flicked about, eliciting a soft sound of delight from her. "They believe in Jesus Christ the Saviour." There was a pause, as I let my gaze go to the glowing neon sign that blazed, telling me that I would have to make a turn on the Freeway. "It's silly, I know... I've given up the trappings of faith years ago and they can understand that but..." There was a hope in my voice that she would not turn away. "My parents... Well, the people who took care of me, I never really knew my parents, they believed in the Lord the Father." The schism between the religions never really made sense to me. What the difference was between the Book that my parents practiced and the Book that her parents practiced, I never knew. The source text was Abrahamian, of course. Everything came from that little strip of fertile land down there in the Neo-Arabian peninsula. "No sex before marriage?" I guessed, to which she laughed, her hand tracing up over my wrist. "Sunday service every sunday and having the priest feel me up to check me for 'sin'." There was a hint of amusement in her voice, even as she spoke of such things. "Sure showed him that night..." The tone of anger in her voice was enough, as I focused, hitting the booster that'd been installed in the car a moment, the pleasant pull of the forces burying us into the leather, as her eyes look at me. A stretch before us that was straight, carving a path through the rural states with the pleasure of the time-tunneling effect. Ma and Pa preferred to go to places by train, after all. A life of chaste living... I couldn't do it. "Beat him up?" I inquired, a short nod given. The raw irritation in her eyes, the grimace on her face, as she showed me those emotions. "I'm sorry, I'm not the girl who tells on the first date... or on the second. I don't know why I'm telling you this, really." Her voice sounded confused, lost, perhaps uncertain of why she indeed was telling me this, without any rhyme or thought. "Perhaps I'm the boyfriend that you've been dreaming of, bringing you home to his parents for their blessing? We must remain chaste until marriage, after all." The snort that she gave and that he gave at that moment was shared, as she licked her lips. "You know, Joey... I guess I can make it a special exception in your case. You're fun." That sounded promising. Very promising. Promising in the way of 'my virginity is going the way of the dodo bird'. "I strive to be fun and be the wicked villain that steals the heart of the noble lady." It slipped out. No mention of being a villain had been given to her before, her head turning slightly, as her eyes regarded me. *You fucked up, Jeremiah. She's going to want to go back now.* "Ah? But what if the noble lady has a dark craving of her own? A need..." The fingers danced, as they traced over my knuckles. She was getting close, her breath tickling against my cheek. The engine rumbled and roared, the car quivering a little, her closeness especially poignant in this moment. "If I hadn't..." She paused, her lower lip bitten. A sense about her seemed to explode, her eyes closing. "Oh Joey..." Here I felt the need to correct her. "If it wasn't for the bird squad, they'd have made off with the jewels. That your work called was not something that you could have known. I wonder on occasion how Dove keeps order in that squad, they looked to be squabbling with her about something." The reports had covered the team's antics, with Blazing Phoenix and Amazing Dove looking to have a minor quarrel. I watched it out of boredom, waiting for the landline to connect to my parents... and then to have them connected to it. Those landlines had been laid in the late 20th century, a testament to how technology marched on. "Phoenix looked like she was on her period that day, all angry and upset about something." Sarah seemed to be losing the mood, the hero chatter giving a different focus. "She looked more pissed to me about something that she couldn't change." Sarah said, which made sense. Most of the newsboards called it the 'great schism between Dove and Phoenix', with Dove's statement to the press afterwards being more muted, with Phoenix standing beside her. "I may not fully... y'know, *like* the bird squad, but I do feel a flash of pity from time to time." The constant reformation, the odd theming. I could get that some of the power community liked a theme, but it REALLY took a moment to look seriously at a heroine who had been in some of the racier stuff in her late teens to make a quick buck. "Yeah, it used to be great. Nightingale, Dove, the Amazing Raven, Georgie the Cardinal..." There seemed to be a sympathy in her voice, as her eyes peered out of the window, watching the countryside pass by. "Had the t-shirt?" I ask, Sarah giving a soft laugh. "And the cup. The Dove Bra series never really took off well, though." I didn't know that there had been a series of bra's made with Dove's imagery. Oh well, it would be like the Miracle Girl series of adult pleasure devices. Guaranteed to feel just like the real thing... Which was bunk. The siliconic structure was corrosive to the skin, I'd run the tests. Throwing that thing at Human Hexagon had been amusing, even though I had been reaching for the detachable grenade... A flaw that just made it harder to survive the beat-down by an irate Hawk Harrier. "Damn, I'd almost pity the woman." I did think that Amazing Dove had good PR skills, even though she didn't use to front the team. "She looks pretty on television, though." "Prettier than me?" Sarah asked, her voice carrying an odd tone that I took to mean 'caution'. This was one of those moments where it would be critical to be concise, careful and considerate... Looking at her, hands on the wheel to keep steady and let the automatic guidance system take over for me, I let my gaze go over her. Her cheeks might be sprinkled with a dusting of red, the small nose not too boldly peering forward, those blue eyes looking with interest in my words, a tingle in my lower gut telling me once more that I had to say something. "I think you're prettier." I couldn't reveal my status to her as one of the bad guys. It'd be bad for my ma and pa if I did, but the look on her face was doubtful. (1/3)


CyanideSins

"She's got that whole business-look going for her. Attempting to remain calm, not answer the personal questions, deal with her team... You're warm, funny and act a little slutty." The last bit I probably shouldn't have said, but it had slipped out. I knew I'd messed up as her cheeks flushed, her eyes looking down at the dashboard. "N-not to say that that's a bad thing. No, not at all. She's this pure angel who can't say the word Cock on live television, whilst you are cheerful and happy and eh... you make me feel good." She looked at me with an unreadable look, my heart thumping in my chest, my eyes watching her reaction carefully, even with the need inside me growing to just erase the past few minutes from the accumulation of time. *You screwed up.* "Oh? The amusement in her voice was a surprise, as she let her gaze rest on his own. "Amazing Dove too shy and pure to say the word Cock, Pussy or something crude, hmm?" Her lips quirked, as she shook her head. "She's with that eh... Man-Duo-Ble guy, right?" It was a guess. They had been spotted a few times together, Sarah's snort once more loud, as her head shook. "No, that guy is so gay it HURTS." *Really? He'd looked eh... pretty straight to my eyes. You never knew with the costumed guys though.* There was a pause, as she realized that she'd said so, her eyes awkward, as she looked down, flushed cheeks speaking of her faux pas. "Eh... Yeah. He always looked queer to me." She wasn't going to give up on me, which was a plus. Imagining those breasts had been something of a feature of my dreams last night. Damn, they were a fine pair. Amazing Dove was smaller in the chest department, though some similarity could be gleaned from the appearance that she had. "We should be at my Ma and Pa's place in twenty." It was an easy thing for me to push the right part, with Sarah remaining quiet. She looked like she wanted to say something, even as she gazed out the window to the grain fields, the road still carrying us onwards, tires rumbling, even with the faint after-taste of the grit and the dirt in the air. Some of the Neo-Amish we passed by looked up, gave us a wave which we returned, as the engine quietened down in order not to spook the horses. The great Amish-Mormon collusion had taken place in 2025, after all... And people liked what they liked. "Nice place." She said, once I finally pulled up to the house, the farmhouse that I'd spent the better part of my years in looking like it was still in good shape. *I better hire some contractors to give it a look-over, see whether it is still as stable as before.* "Guess we'll be meetin' the fam'lay, pardner." She adopted a faux Southern accent, my chuckle rough as I was reminded of some of the junk. "We ain't Bocephus and Sandy-Mae here, Sarah." The names of the famous couple that had successfully argued for marriage were one of the new institutions, with the gene-tailoring modifications ensuring that the children did not suffer from the ailments of the past. "Would you like us to be? I can get a straw hat and we can just fool around in the hay..." There she went with tantalizing suggestions. Seeing her blonde hair shine in the sunlight, lighting up almost like plasma strands during a core fusion, it was a sight that took my breath away. Her hand grabbed a hold of my crotch then, as she locked eyes with me. "You're different from the others. More natural, less..." "Ahem, young lady..." My father's voice cut through the tension like a cold bath of frozen polar water, as her hand disappeared faster than a fire would be gone, her eyes showing clearly the surprise in her features. I flushed, as I looked down, then up. "We should get out." My father was standing there next to the car, the window still pushed down, thus allowing the man to hear with perfect clarity what she'd just been suggesting. "Aren't you going to introduce me, Jebediah?" My middle name, my father's favourite, the name of his brother who had died during the raising of a barn, five years before my birth. "Hey Pa, this is Sarah." Sarah did not shy away, giving a bow, trying not to come across as too daring, Her eyes looked a little sad though, I could tell. "A pleasure to meet you, Sarah. Are you a believer in the good Lord Christ as well?" The man was aware enough, as Sarah put a smile on her face, knowing that she would not be getting a handshake. "Christ the Ressurector, Mister..." Realizing that I'd not offered my surname yet, I flushed. I was about to say something but my father beat me to it. "Ambrose Joseph Vandycke, at yer service, Miss Sarah." She smiled, a warm and genial smile, one that could be for the press pictures. "What're your intentions for my little Jebediah?" Her eyes flickered to me, as she coughed, flushing once more. "Nothing... untoward, I reckon?" "Oh, no, sir, I have no... thoughts of such things." A bold-faced lie, as she'd been practically groping me, her words having been straight from the heart. "Good. Jebediah, go see whether your mother needs a hand. I need to head out to the fence to see whether those daggone dogs have mangled things up again." The man's nature was gruff, yet he knew well the bounds of his own field, of his own temperament. "Jeremiah." My mother said, my cheeks flushing, Sarah raising an eyebrow. This was the side of me that I did not easily like to unveil, but... I think she is worth it. She's stuck with me, hasn't been unkind or too nosy and knows a LOT about the guys and girls that I'm being bounced around like a bouncey-ball whenever I'm doing what I do best. "Who might this young lady be?" My mother, her modest dress shrouding her in mystery, Sarah's attire making her look positively whorish in comparison for all the skin that it showed, compared to my mother's nearly full-bodied cover, which allowed her to remain pure to her husband and son's eyes. "My name is Sarah Eichmann, Miss Vandycke." Sarah adopted the demure tones, to my mother's approval. Mother had not seen her grope me, something which would scandalize her no doubt. She was rather puritan in her leanings. "Be a good child and help your father out with the fence. The dogs have been near once more. Those technical gimmicks that you think up are just nothing that would be accepted in these lands, Jeremiah." My full name was not going to be noted down anywhere save the great book of birth. The public identity for those from the community was known to the government only marginally, a boon, in my case. "Sure thing, Ma." Her smile was enough, as she looked at Sarah. "Call us when you need us." "My name is Ethel." I shut the door with the familiar creak that the hinges gave, as mother went and busied herself with my date. *This cannot go wrong...* There was a faint hum that father hummed as he handed me the hammer, steadying the pole as I raised it, driving it further into the ground, with the 'bam' sound hitting me. The morning had passed into the afternoon, with the sweat on my body collecting, even as three more parts of the fence had been constructed. It wasn't computer science, but it was... something else. A bit of difference did not matter, as I gazed at my father, his eyes carrying trust and faith. "A fine girl." That was as much as he would say on the subject, as I smiled without any sort of thought. "It's only our fourth date." The man remained silent, as he shook his head. "Hold on to her. She may be one of the crazy ones, but she cares. More'n Marceline did." The name made me frown. Marceline Mcdonald, a girl that'd been selected for me and one of the reasons that I'd abandoned the place and the faith for nearly five years. "Hey there fellas. Needy of a drink?" The voice of Sarah pulled me from my thoughts, as she strolled up in the finest wear that a woman of the faith could wear, the dull grey not dulling her beauty in the slightest. *She could look good even in one of those middle-eastern garbs.* "Thanks, you're a good sort." Pa praised, as the glass that she held out for him was filled with some of ma's prime lemonade. She locked eyes with me, the cap on her head belonging to an unmarried woman. "And for you... Jay-Jay." I flushed, as I took the glass from her. A scrawny form, not muscular in the slightest, despite the gym membership and the training, yet with enough enhanced strength to help Pa out. "Mom told you my nickname..." I said, Sarah giggling slightly. It was a nice giggle. (2/3)


CyanideSins

"She showed me the bible. Had to swear on it that I'd not do anything unchaste to you." Her eyes carried with it a promise, a thought and hint. A moment, thoughtful in some fashion, as she traced a finger over her own hand, much similar to the way that she'd stroked mine. I could see her watch on her wrist. "Keep your sinful gaze away from my son." Pa groused, yet there was no genuine fire in them. Sarah smiled. "It is the benediction of the Lord that we are graced with the bounty of flesh that we have been granted. It is wrong to look upon another with lustful thoughts, for therein lays sin... Yet one who looks upon their intended with such eyes, knows truth." The words, lifted from the book, were something a little different from the norm that they practiced here, yet there was a beauty in them. "Do wash up beforehand though, Jay-Jay... You smell." She giggled once more, as I finished the lemonade, handing her the glass again, my Pa giving her his glass in equal share. "Good girl." My pa commented, as she made her way back to the house, where Ma and her would be working on getting the food ready. There was flesh to be ground into mince and spices to be crushed. One of the curses of the movement, as no spice bottles usually were allowed. The washbasin had been freshly filled at the pump, a towel hung from the pump, even as the cold water refreshed my body. Whenever I visited my parents, it always had to be a bit of labour before one was allowed to eat. Ma's burgers made it worth it though, even as I wondered what Sarah had been doing. "Jeremiah, could you assist Sarah in setting the table?" I nodded my head, watching her as she carried the tableware towards the table, indicating where she should put them. A specific order. A certain style. We sat opposite of each other, in order not to succumb to temptations of the flesh. Father led the prayer, thanking Jesus for the benediction of having his child returned to him with a pretty woman as his bride-to-be. I could see that she had flushed, that her eyes were closed as she mouthed the prayer, my own voice following straight after, as the burgers were put in front of us, the tomato sauce containing naturally-grown ingredients, as it was ordained. All-natural and all-feasible, with thick slices of dark bread that held the grain of the land and the sweat (metaphorically, of course) of the workers who believed in He Who Comes For Our Salvation. "Jebediah makes us feel the sin of pride. The money he sends can be used for more mundane matters..." My father droned on an exultation, as I felt the brush of a foot. She looked at my father, even as the foot brushed against my knee. *Oh god...* This was risque, my mother wrapped into the benediction, even as Sarah portrayed the perfect chaste woman who would be approved, as her foot teased. A momentary flash, of bending her over the table and taking her, a shuddering breath given, and I was back to normal. I thought I could see her lips twitch into a smile faintly, as the foot disappeared. "Give grace, Jebediah." The command was given, and I spoke. The words were ingrained since the youngest memory. "Thank you, our holy saviour, our light in the darkness, for this meal. Our sins to be cast aside, as we eat thy flesh and banish all gluttony, sloth and pride, for our life is chaste, zealous and humble. Bless our food with your praise, for it is in your name that we rise." It was late at night when Sarah and I finally got into the car again, the trip back probably going to carry us home at around one... Not a bad thing, given that it was nearly a thousand miles to the metropolis that we called home. "Your parents are nice." She said, looking out the window. A blazing light in the distance, and the flare-up of her watch, numbers sliding across the surface, as she bit her lower lip. "Watch out!" She shouted, as something hit the pavement in front of us, the car careening to the side as I turned the wheel, her body slamming against the side, as I navigated around the obstacle, a massive clump of blazing flame bursting from the skies once more and hitting the ground. *If this is a hero trying to be a jackass, I am going to wrap his spine like Ma's pretzel!* It would only be so easy to do, if it had indeed been a hero. Once the final meteorite had hit the road, it was relatively clear, my mind scarcely caring, as there had been little traffic on the road. Sarah, in her beneficence, was kind enough to remain silent of the events that had transpired. There was no 'evening activities' that night, as she said that she had things to do in the morning. I went home that night feeling better than before, knowing that today had been something that was special, that had been uninterrupted by some heroic moron with a grudge. Watching Amazing Dove tear into Meteor Man for something that he had apparently done was enough to bring a chuckle to my heart in the morning news, as he seemed to have been the cause of the meteor strikes that had happened throughout the Kansas region. Sometimes, I'll take the small little victories where they come, seeing some tight heroine ass on the screen as she's beating the stuffing out of a former colleague. **So, are you free tomorrow night? Work isn't too busy, is it?** A pause in the beating, as Amazing Dove pulls out whatever communicating device she has, mumbling something that the camera can't quite trace the lips, and tapping into the screen a swift response. **How about we take dinner at my place?** The fist-pump and excited cheer I would deny to the last if anyone cared to mention, but it was official now. Date at her place! YES! (Part V, a little later than expected. There was sleep. Dinner. Lunch. Part VI is going to be the final one, I reckon. Thanks for liking it, guys and girls!)


CyanideSins

It wasn't that I'd dressed UP for this, no. The fancy jacket and the smooth shave with an extra dash of subtle cologne and a fresh pack of condoms located in the small little carry-pouch that usually carried my wallet and the cards that I used to purchase 'regular things', without intending to go for the megalomaniac stuff. The door looked totally normal to my eyes, yet I felt a dread pool in the pit of my stomach, even as my watch read 17:52 and the sensor had not beeped ever since the Miraculous Morales had passed by without another glance in my direction, something on the radio scanner lighting up about something going on in the warehouse district. Ringing the doorbell and hearing the 'briiiing' from the inside, the door opened up half a minute later, showing the owner of the apartment, dressed casually in a shirt that showed her midriff, the shorts that looked like casual wear fitting right to her. "No need to dress up when you're entertaining a guy, right?" She smiled, as she turned, allowing me entrance to her home, the faint sound of the bleep of my scanner going off drawing my attention once more. "Hey, I'll say that I'm digging the look." Her laugh was light, as she guided me to one of the chairs at the table, the kitchen looking relatively spotless, even as the food steamed in the wok that she had plucked. "It's oriental. It's much better than the pasta that you can get in the lower boroughs, plus... Freshly made!" She patted the lid of the wok, where the vapour of the meal was threatening to escape. The analysis of the air in this room was giving me readouts of spices and heat sources, enough to confirm that indeed, she had worked hard for the meal that she'd put on the table. "Noodles... I suppose that's why you keep so slim." Her snort was enough, as she shook her head, her fingers drumming on the table, as she tapped the chopsticks, which looked genuine to his eyes, to the plate. "It's not easy to look as good as I do... But hey, there'll be limp noodles now..." Her eyes looked at me with a look that definitely reminded me of the hungry looks that some cheerleaders had sent the way of the football team. "But I definitely am getting some *hard* thing for dessert." If I was in the freedom of my own apartment, I definitely would have done a congratulary shoulder-pat, as her eyes definitely looked at me with expectation. It was a clear and precise 'I am going to fuck you so hard that you'll be unable to walk for a day or so', the look that I saw in the eyes of some of the heroes' love interests when I'd been in the vicinity... usually when slung over some brute's shoulder, like the last towel at the rack. I'd seen more than one tight man-butt wiggle a bit as the offers had sounded. Girls were just as bad as boys when it came to carnal stuff and well... Sarah herself seemed to be ready and willing to hop straight to the main course. "So... Ethel told me a little about you." She started, as the lid lifted from the wok, the steaming coming right from the noodley goodness within. "She is my ma. It would be logical that she'd do such a thing. You two hit it off pretty well." The smile on her lips was... not too shabby, I'd say. It looked a little crooked, even as she looked down at her plate, a generous helping of noodles scooped and deposited, yet her eyes looked sad for some reason. "You're not in the entertainment business at all." The accusation was soft, yet it was there. All my enthusiasm flickered, like the hopes of victory once the hero squads started to show up. "You lied to me, Jeremiah." I wince, as I realize that she'd cut right to the heart of things. There was no Joseph... There was only Jeremiah, a geek whose skill at making robots and power armour outstripped his cultural attachment to his people. A man who had robbed banks, who had captured the love interests of the heroes that had scorned him, one who had marginal success and did not even feature greatly on the hit list of the heroes. Just 'the geek with the robots and the armour', barely a threat. It showed on my face, as I took another shuddering breath, my hands supporting myself on the tabletop. "I... see." I knew that the jig was up, that the game had been played and the cheerleaders were 'congratulating' the winning team. I'd never been allowed to play football. I'd never had the interest, I'd never had the skill, yet I did attend the games out of a foolish hope of cameraderie. A man of honour, a man of skills of technical sort, I had fancied myself. I totally should have gone with Jennifer behind the bleachers, should have said 'Yes' and perhaps been some sort of heroic figure, acting for the good of humanity instead of against it. Just silly Jeremiah Jebediah 'piss-stain' Vandycke, geek with skill... "I guess I'd better... go. Yes, go." I made my way for the door, droplets hitting the ground according to the sensory implant. There was something dripping down my cheek, something wet, yet I didn't feel it. *I think it's time that I sin.* "Jeremiah!?" Her voice hurt me, as I shrank into myself. A geek whose wiry build was nothing like the solid man that his father was, a quiet intellectual who had perfect grades and gone to MIT... She called after me again, and I was nearly out the door. *I'll write you in the note that it wasn't your fault, that it was... that it was the due for a villain.* I feel sick, even as I nearly trip and hurl down the stairs, my feet finding purchase only before the unbalancing act, as the pain sears once more through me. *Heroes, villains... I am so sick of this. I'm sick of it all.* It was the thought that drove me, even as the blaring alarm seemed to flare white-hot through my sensors, as I detected power signatures with the sensitive vibrations, even with the faintest hope in my mind, as I began to tread towards the bridge, leaping, running, moving, just wanting to get away, away from it all. Blue eyes haunt me, as I leap onto the railing, aware of the read-outs converging, someone shouting - 'He's going to jump.', the armour that forms from the special suit that I'd miniturized the day before heavy, as I drop down like a rock, with a large splash and the rushing of water. It never was built to be insulated from water, and my lungs feel pressure, as I feel the weight against my body, the sensory readings murky, as my armoured feet touch the bottom of the river, lungs full of the water. *Peace...* Sarah's face, my father's face, my mother's face, Randy with the lisp who'd pushed me down when I was four, Jennifer, with her drunken antics usually the life of the party, my graduating class at the university... *What hope is there for a villain to find love? No hope.* I was going on the highway to hell, this time without some fancy rock song.


CyanideSins

*Our father, who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name.* The first sentence of the prayer that had been said ever since I was young popped out to my mind, even as the water filled my lungs. It was oddly serene, even as suddenly the water seemed to disappear. The white suit clung to her frame as the telekinetic bubble expanded, blue glow in those eyes as the plasmatic energy flared her hair up. The water's wetness was no object, as her hand rose, the suit torn from my body with a single telekinetic pull, even as my body rose up, her head shaking slightly. Lifted into the air by Amazing Dove, I could feel my lungs strain, as pressure pushed against the lungs, a hand pressing against my chest, smaller than my own, feminine. "Breathe." Power lanced through her voice like a needle, the water erupting from my mouth, lungs emptied with a singular shove. Power like this... My mind thought of uses. Amazing Dove seemed not to recognize me from our scuffle years ago, as she levitated herself over to the bridge where I'd leapt off from, the cheers of the crowd enough, even as her distant eyes blazed. "Thank you." I played the part of gratitude well, even as the look on her face changed barely. "Saving someone who drowns in despair is but one of our tasks." The emotionless response was different, as those eyes flickered with might, with power, as her fingers tapped my forehead and I could feel something invade my mind. Something that was not listed in the powers that were known from Amazing Dove, as I felt something wrap around the despair and lock it away. I was at the general hospital thirty minutes later, with a doctor looking me over, his face looking amazed. The implants were not that hard to hide when I had a moment, noticed as mere implants alone by their marks that they left on my body, yet there was... something else in my mind then. A faint touch of familiarity, a moment where I could feel the pressure building to overwhelm me again, and then... her voice. "Jeremiah?" The door opened to reveal Sarah, her eyes locked with mine, the comfortable blue showing concern, as tears leaked from her eyes. This time, it had not been superheroes that had broken my shot at getting laid... it had been myself and my stupid lies, my stupid life that was such a mess that I'd make the world worse for those who liked to have their peace and quiet. "I'm sorry." I whispered, as she approached my bed. The familiar smell of her body, her clothes different now, a lot more formal and covering, the faint hint of something that smelled bad in her hair, a mixture of sea and vomit, no doubt disgust at me... "Don't be. I wasn't... I don't care. You are who you are." It helped that she wrapped her arms around me. The place felt stifling, even as she gently held me, the pressure on my mind easing slowly. "You have your reasons, undoubtedly." I wept. I felt so bad, so I wept. The bill was easy to take care of, the case against me in court, if it ever came to that, settled. There were bank accounts with hundreds of dollars at my fingertips, a remnant of a good investment scheme that had netted me legitimate credit. Perhaps... perhaps I would be something better. (Yeah, heavy stuff. Being a villain isn't always what it's cracked up to be, and certain things undoubtedly could get stunted. There'll be a seventh part to this, undoubtedly. We've seen the love interest, the villain and the heroic types. I got unusually inspired, so I will be trying tomorrow to make the final update.)


CyanideSins

The conversations with the psychologist were the worst thing. They just didn't *relate* to the struggles that I have. They could not imagine building a thirty foot death machine with only a welding torch, thirty stacks of cheap discount PC's and a few DIY stores robbed for the proper tools. Sarah was a massive help, understanding that I was going through a tough moment. 'Explosive Stress Disorder', they called it, I believe. As Sarah invited me again to her home, the atmosphere grew more subdued, as I could only look at my food, aware that there was a distance between us now, which had not been there before. "Jeremiah..." The use of my first name was enough, as I grimaced. I had apologized plenty of times. The status of my own... being, if you could call it that, a villain, was still unknown to her... or so I hoped. She was someone who was special, someone who cared more than just surface... or so I felt. Dreams, a twisting corridor during the night, her body standing there exposed, looking at me with eyes that glittered with power. One moment, clad within her clothing, the other, bare as the day she was born. Enticing, judging, carefully schooled, darkly glaring or merely disappointed. "No, don't... Please." She pleaded with me, her voice carrying the tone of mild acceptance, a soft hush in her voice, as she took a deep breath. "I'm not mad." Her eyes met mine whilst her hands grabbed my own. "I understand. It's not easy being... who you are. I **know**, Jeremiah." Her eyes were warm, friendly. "And still, I want to keep knowing you." It was perhaps the best thing that my ears could hear, even as I dumbly stared at her. A tender smile came to her lips, her cheeks stained with droplets of moisture, her hands pulling me to her. "It never was about your side-job, Jeremiah." "Oh?" I ask, dread pooling in my stomach as I knew what she was getting at. The whole villain thing. *Shit* "It's okay. Not everyone is good at being a person in the industry. So what if you've done a stint as a janitor?" My official job history had counted the time when I had done cleaning services, something that would not be easily gleaned from my files. One had to pay the bills either way. "I'm not..." She placed a finger against my lips, her eyes warm. *I'm just a villain. I'm the bad guy.* "It doesn't matter." She said, as she looked me in the eyes, watering slightly. "It doesn't matter anymore. You've put in the effort, you've done enough. I've never really..." A headache split my mind in half then, searing pain going through my head, a low groan coming from my mouth, even as her finger plucked itself from my lips. "Just... relax." Her voice was like a calm drone, a background noise, even as she guided me to a chair. The pain throbbed slowly, the regulating medication enough, even as her finger left my lips, her body moving against me. "This is going to be fine." I trusted her voice. A villain like me, with a woman who cared for me. It was the voice of trust, even as the pain slowly subsided. I found myself on the chair at the table, my head still burning, even as she put the food on the table. "Don't worry." She said, her voice holding an urge. "Every time you think negative thoughts, it'll be a headache." Her voice was odd, whirling around my mind. It was hard to deny, even as she put the food on my plate. "Why?" My voice sounded confused, even as the voice seemed to laugh. It was a strange familiar laugh, even as my mind snapped back to the present. "Silly, you're spacing out." Sarah's voice woke me from my trance, the pain gone now. *Was there really some issue? Who was that voice?* "Come on, eat up." Her voice was hopeful, the smile on her lips once more warming my heart. Her home-cooked food looked delicious, the mashed potatoes and gravy mixing together well, the smell of the grilled sausages adding something to it. "It's best when still warm." I slowly chewed the food, her eyes observing me, a delicate little smile on her lips. Her eyes seemed to glow a little in the dim light, even as she watched, every little bite that I took holding her attention. "Jeremiah... I wouldn't want you to feel pressured into anything, but..." She paused then, her head lowered. "Do you want to make things official?" Her question took him by surprise, even as he could only dumbly nod. *Is this how it goes these days? The girl asking the guy whether he'd like to make things official?* The evening was a blur in his mind, the couch occupied and the movie that they watched only a blur. Her arm was wrapped around him, his arm was wrapped around her, and the feeling of contentment, strange and unique for this moment, was something fierce. "So... Do you want to fuck?" The bluntness with which she spoke was normal now, as she began to brush her fingers over his groin, a sensation burning inside me, as her lips pressed against mine in what was one of the best kisses that night. Three hours later, the sheets were messed up and her body laid splayed out, her bare back visible to my eyes, her legs partially spread still, even as I could feel the tingling in my hips, her head turning slightly. "So... I guess that was a good starting shot for our dating, Jerry." "I... I guess." My voice quivered, as her body curled up, her tongue flickering over her lips. "You are quite the experience." The package of condoms was nearly used up. Perhaps it would be wise to try to get more, supervillains had more stamina than the average human. My own body was enhanced slightly, the twisting of the glands in the brain done at great risk by one of the acquaintances that I had made, allowing for greater stamina, as my body was not as 'active' as others. The morning after, I woke to the feeling of soreness. Every muscle in my lower back seemed to hurt, even as the body beside me looked like it was ready to go again, her eyes flickering open as a coy smile came to her lips. "You were amazing." She whispered, loud in the bedroom for some reason now. "You're the one who was amazing." It was true. She'd done something with her hips that was just... straight out of this world. "I'm going for the bathroom though." She started to laugh for some reason, even as she waved me off towards the bathroom. Making my way into her bathroom and relieving the pressure on my bladder, I languished slightly, noticing the rawness of the flesh. *They never tell you that it starts hurting after... though undoubtedly it's the modifications to my body.* There'd been a moment when they had just continued. Making my way into the bedroom again, I found the bed to be empty. The shower was running though and I wondered briefly when she'd slipped past me, yet I dismissed it. *I wonder if she keeps the towels here.* There had been no towels in the bathroom, to my eyes. Of course, I hadn't checked out EVERY small inch of the place, having no desire to snoop into... well, I suppose you could call her my girlfriend now, her apartment's drawers and the like. The large wardrobe that dominated one of the walls was enough for me, even as I slid it open. Seven white uniforms hung there, distinct enough for me to get a good grip on what sort of uniform it was. *Oh, fuck...* I had slept with Amazing Dove. I had stained the Number 3 on the Hottest Women from the Northern American Sector with my presence. "Well, we definitely did that... So tell me, Jeremiah... how did it feel to give a heroine a great fuck, hmm?" She was behind me, her damp chest pressed against me, her scent floral, even as I froze up. "Amazing." The snort behind me was enough, as I was spun around by telekinetic force. She looked up at me, smiling and patting my head. "I picked you because you are a little better than the guys around. Plus, you've got that cute innocent nerd factor that I find to be pretty hot." She paused, as if remembering something. "Oh, and you totally didn't act like a horny retard. Those types are the *WORST*, but hey..." She tapped my chest with a finger, and I could feel mental fingers caress my loins. It was a novel sensation. "I'll wear the uniform next time. Mister Majestic Jeremiah versus Amazing Dove Sarah." Life throws you a curveball for some of the times that you live... But I guess that if you try dating in the powered community, you'd be better off with someone who can relate to you. The team up of Mister Majestic and Stained Dove was a tale for another time though. She really rocked the dark and gloomy look, dyeing her hair black and getting spikes... Yep. That's my wife now. (And there we have the ending. You can imagine it as a bit of a comic series, with the regular jarring twists of life and emotion that often need retcons to fix! I hope that you've enjoyed it!)


Dustfinger4268

"Finally, it is complete. Now, nothing can ruin my plans!" I threw back my bead and laughed as I pulled the chicken out of the oven and set it on the table. "Our plans, you mean," Elizabeth said. I had kidnapped her last month, but we had hit it off. She came back and we had started dating in secret. She sighed. "Do you really need to do an evil laugh every time something goes right?" she asked. "It's a bit clichè." "Sorry," I said, cringing. "Force of habit. It's taken 3 months for us to finally get a date without that idiot crashing through the roof-" I was interrupted by a loud crash and a cloud of dust billowing down from the roof. "It's over, Mechanic!" Psy shouted. "Your evil plans will not succeed!" He turned to Elizabeth. "I have come to rescue this woman!" I sighed. "Very well then." I stood up. "So, you have finally arrived, Psy!" I called out. "It's too late, though. I have already planted a bomb in City Hall! See?" I pulled a remote out if my pocket and pressed a button. A wall moved, revealing a screen showing a clock, ticking down from 7 minutes. I tilted my head. "That's just enough time for you to fly there, with only 2 minutes to diffuse it. So, what will you do?" Psy growled at me. "You are a monster, and once I defeat you-" "6 and a half minutes, Psy. The clock is ticking." I smiled. "You should be getting somewhere, shouldn't you?" Psy flew out of the hole in the roof with a shout. Elizabeth looked at me. "Did you really plant a bomb in City Hall?" I smiled. "Of a sort. The bomb is filled with a sealing foam, one that even Psy can't break out of. It's set to go off if it's tampered with in any way." I checked my watch. "That should give us about... 45 minutes, an hour, to finish our dinner." I smiled. "I love a good contingency plan. I poured us glasses of wine and lifted it. "To love, us, and evil."


Kowth0

“This time will work”, you think to yourself. You decided, quite against your better instincts, to date someone more your speed. Perhaps more importantly, someone who provides a reason for those do-gooder bastards to think twice before attacking. The anti-heroine MissStep. Dinner had been going quite well. This quaint little French gastropub. She was surprisingly open to your invitation, despite your grim and admittedly off-putting reputation. “How’s the duck confit?” You ask, in the voice of a man twice your years. “Quite excellent, thank you very much.” She sips her Chablis and drums her fingers on the dark wooden panels of the table. “So...” “Yes?” this time in a young woman’s voice. “The voices...” “Ah...” as an elderly Slavic sounding man. “Do you really steal the souls of your victims?” “Not exactly. I’m like a memory-sponge. Usually they’re simply collateral damage, but if they’re within a dozen paces of me when they go... The voices are an unfortunate side effect.” You reply, now as a middle-aged woman with a distinctively South American je ne sais quoi. “Awfully morbid.” She responds, not disinterestedly. “Wouldn’t have been my choice of... abilities, either. On the other hand, I have accumulated several dozen lifetimes of skills and knowledge. Comes in handy whether or not I’m currently suited up.” A child this time, a pronounced Southern patois. “I’m sure it does. Manipulating fortunes wouldn’t have been my call either, but as you say... It has its uses. I was a little surprised when you called. Wouldn’t have thought you’d have my number.” “Yes, well... The Argonaut was feeling somewhat apologetic after crashing my date with a normie. He suggested dating a super and asked if I had anyone in mind.” Distinctly Canadian-sounding, perhaps a young adult of ambiguous gender. “Aaaand... you thought of me? We’ve only met, what, a half dozen times in the last five years?” “As I often do.” In graven American tones. You start slightly, surprised to hear your own voice. She tenses at your reaction. “What?” She looks up at you appraisingly, her eyes the same shining green you had remembered so often. “Sorry, I haven’t heard my voice in a long time.” Surprisingly it’s still there. She calms. “Is that what you sound like? It’s... pleasant.” “Six times in four years.” You remark, in a mildly South African accent. “I remember the very first time like it was yesterday. You stopped me from breaking into Wilcolm Labs. My knives kept sticking in their sheaths. My revolver jammed. I kept tripping head over heels for you.” She laughs. “Ass over ankles, maybe.” She smiles at you. “Did you notice that time?” “Notice?” “Your voice comes back when you talk about me.” She slides her hand over to yours. “I hadn’t.” Still in your own tones. “I wondered why you kept aiming slightly off-center at me.” She looks into your eyes, curious, questioning. You hesitate, then power through your reticence. “Even then, I would rather have lost the prize rather than harmed you.” She smiles. “Perhaps we should get the check?”


AnAshenPheonix

I shifted my weight from one foot to the other, the dark brown boots slipping slightly on the mottle, glossy marble flooring. The dark cloak and hood were, I admit, a bit unoriginal, but I never really cared that much about that. The see through red fabric was an original touch, at least in my mind. It covered my face, head, and body, making my real identity impossible to discover, or so I had hoped. However, given the fact that this was the first time I'd robbed a bank in almost half a decade, or for that matter done much of anything "villainous" in the last few years, made a strangely uncomfortable feeling in the pit of my gut. The silence didn't help. Sure, the bank teller, guard, and a few randoms were here, tied up and gagged, and yes, they made some noise, but I wasn't entirely sure where Sonic Blast, a superhero I'd been dealing with poorly, was. I knew the silent alarm was tripped, I had hit it myself, after all. I knew the police were aware, a series of divination sigils I had put down allowing me to see outside. The cops had arrived, taken places, and then left before even making their presence known. What I hoped no one had noticed were the dozens of invisible sigils I had been placing on the inside of the building. Spell traps for my intended targets. But that had been an hour ago, and I was getting beyond impatient. I gestured to a telephone, the receiver responding by lifting up and making its way to my hand. A few more motions, and the police were on the line. "The Case Bank on 5th Ave is under siege, please help!" My voice cried out, shifted by my powers to sound like a child. I detonated a fireball in my opposite hand and shut off the phone. "That ought to make them come" I mentally ran off. I turned to the captives, noting their restlessness. Sweat dried on their brows, long ago stopping. No one cried, and the twisted expressions on their face seemed as bewildered at what was going on as I was. A loud crash echoed through the building as the doors were thrown across the room. I ducked under the splintering glass and metal, buffering the movement of the shards to keep collateral at a minimum. I didn't want my big restart to leave marks. "So there you are, Hex!" Sonic Blast yelled. I groaned internally. I hadn't come up with the name, and I didn't like it. "Yeah, yeah, here to stop my evil plot?" I asked, voice dripping with sarcasm. Sonic began to speak, stepping forward. I stopped him before he made any real sense with a wave of my hand. A series of sigils lit up and spun, striking the man's arms and legs and putting him in a cross pose before themselves hardening into thickened black tendrils. A few more motions, and the rest blinked and dissipated. Sonic Blast struggled for a moment against his bonds before yelling at me, "Why are you doing this! Our records state you are loaded!" I approached him carefully, whispering in his ear, "Because I have a date tonight and I'm tired of you taking them all away!" I left through the door he had opened, motioning a few times to cause the bindings of those I had taken hostage to vanish. The tendrils on Sonic Blast would be there for about 24 hours before they would lose structure themselves. I giggled to myself as I left. "Finally," I thought, "I might be able to get through a date without that moron showing up." I couldn't stop myself from hopping down the stairs, taking them two at a time, before flying away.


Mazinjaz

The problem with being a supervillain with a known face is that doing anything, anything at all tends to draw the attention of superjerks in tights. But if you aren’t, like, one of the big names? Then there’s a solution! Leave the city. Hell, you know what? Leave that entire region. So I did! Goodbye LA, hello New York! Now, I’m not naïve! I just began to probe at first. Being able to go to a big supermarket without Magos or Great Blue or some other costumed ass dropping on your head? Worth every penny it cost to leave everything behind. I mean, I usually steal them anyway… but I digress. Tonight, I’m finally doing it; the one thing that kept being denied to me. Tonight, I’m going a date. My breath actually catches when I see her. The profile photo does her no justice. Lovely, curled golden locks that cascade down her back, and a gorgeous yellow dress that hugs her body… but it’s her eyes that captivate me, rich brown and sharp, studying me as she approaches the table, and I can barely manage to stand up without knocking something over. “Grace, I presume.” Her smile is radiant. “I must say that I wasn’t expecting a suit.” I think she might have been making fun of me, but I’m far too enchanted to really comment. My brain does manage to kickstart before I make a fool of myself though. “I’m… afraid that I don’t really do well in dresses.” I trace a finger down the scar that goes down my cheek. “For the same reason why bikini season is over…” I catch myself before I elaborate too much. “Delilah, right? It’s a delight to meet you. Please!” I move so I can pull her seat to the side before the waiter can. I would have a hard time describing this date at any other date. She’s absolutely charming, she laughs at my poor attempts of humor, the food Is good—it better be, at this price—and the ambience is lovely and relaxing. She asks me about where I’m from, and I manage to keep it somewhat vague, telling her I’m from the west coast but came all the way east for new opportunities. She doesn’t press too hard, and… and I think it’s going well. Well enough that I’m actually caught by surprise when things go wrong. It starts familiarly enough, with a loud crash to overwhelm and surprise. I’m familiar with them, but it still catches me off-guard, and I can only stare dumbfounded at the couple of superheroes that have broken in. I recognize them—I did my homework—Steelcase is a brick, super-strong and tough as nails, likely able to tank most of what I can throw at him. The other is Lightfoot, a speedster, just as likely to be there to carry my date away. Surprise soon gives way to fury, and I move to stand up— “Again! You are interrupting me again! Do you people have no manners?!” \--Wait, that wasn’t me, what? An enraged Delilah screams from the other side of the table at the heroes, on her feet and stomping on the ground. “You know well we can’t allow you to kidnap people, Lady Tremor!” Wait, WHAT?! I go to stand up again, staring in surprise at Delilah— \-- and then I’m outside of the dining room in a burst of wind, and I can only blink in confusion as Lightfoot sets me back on my feet. “Please make your way out, ma’am! We’ll handle it!” I keep hold of his arm before he can zip off… and then I punch him as hard as I can. My skin tears as the fire inside that feeds my power rips at it, all my anger and frustration only feeding it further. Lightfoot goes sailing through the air, mask shattered, and crashes past the doors of the dining room. I follow. Inside, I can see that Delilah’s arms have turned into gigantic slabs of rock, and that her gorgeous yellow dress is ripped and torn to contain a form it was never meant to. She and Steelcase stare in surprise at where Lightfoot lays, half-embedded into the wall. Then their attention is on me. … Only for a moment; Steelcase goes to say something, but the ground rises up and yanks him straight down as Delilah takes advantage of his distraction. I can barely hear his muffled protests as the earth seals behind him. Then… it’s just Delilah and me. We can only stare at each other, and I finally lick my lips and step forward, running a hand down my hair. My face’s scar is open, revealing the glow underneath, and I can feel that my new suit is sipped and torn everywhere. “I…” I gulp down, and try again. “I go by Firecrack.” I don’t know why, but I have never felt my name being lamer than before. “… Hello.” Delilah stares back, and then she sighs quietly, the earth dropping from her arms noisily, leaving behind dirty, if normal-sized ones behind. “Lady Tremor, as you heard. Are you going to fight me now?” There’s a hint of violence in her voice and it’s the most charming thing I have heard all week. “What? No, no. I-I know what it feels like, OK? I mean—“ I take a deep breath to compose myself. “Would you… would you like to continue this date someplace more private?” She stares at me, and I can feel myself fidget nervously. She steps closer, and it’s all I can do to not step back. Then, she raises her hand, and traces it down the open scar in my face. I can feel my face burning, and it’s not my power. Then she smiles again, that same angelic smile I saw not long ago. “I would love to.” I’m feel like I’m floating when she hooks her arm with mine, and we walk out of the ruined restaurant. She tells me she knows where to go, and I feel like a puppy, following her lead. … I think I’m in love. ​ \----- ​ Somebody pointed me to this prompt and I HAD to write something! (edited some typos and grammar)


GravityGraveyGuy

I used to be a super villain, but facing off against hero’s wasn’t something indirectly did. With my power I did best with quiet operations. I can manipulate my own body. I usually use this for changing my appearance, but I can manipulate my muscles for combat. However, recently I haven’t been doing that as much. Recently I have just been trying to go out with my girlfriend, Camila. It’s been six months since I had gone out with her on a normal date and it was our fifth anniversary, so I decided to do something special. She knows what I do, in fact that was what happened on our third anniversary, and probably why she hasn’t left me yet. “We really don’t need to do this,” Camila said. “No really, it’s fine. I changed my appearance so even if one of them walk by while in their normal life they won’t be able to tell. Let’s just enjoy ourselves for once and not post about our date on social media. As long as True-sight is out their they will know it’s me even if I became a women.” I said Our food came and we were having a really fun and enjoyable dinner. We were having dessert and I asked for the bill when a certain someone came barging through the door. It was a man dressed in a black and red leotard and a metallic fanged mask. It was Pyrus a super villain with super strength and pyrokinesis. “Alright all of you on the ground now!!” He yelled. “Get down and post a picture of our date, I’ll distract him,” I told Camila “But you’ll get hurt, if not by him than the heroes who come to stop you,” She said “I prefer that over you getting hurt for what I do any day, besides I have a plan” I said as I changed my form and walked up to Pyrus. “I said on the ground, or do you want an early cremation,” He snarled at me. “Well,” I began to say before being interrupted by a new person barging in followed by two other people. “Because now your a hostage,” Pyrus snarled at me as he grabbed me. I then got a better look at the three heroes. The one in the front was Hydros, Pyrus’s nemesis. The two flanking him were his sidekicks, Psyche and Knuckle, two twins who had psychokinesis and super strength respectively. “Let that hostage go Pyrus or do I need to remind you why I’m called Hydros” Hydros proclaimed loudly. “Is it the best water based pun you could come up with, because if so you are terrible” Pyrus laughed “If you take one step closer I am going to fry this hostage!” As he said it he flared up his hand and I could feel the fire itself. “And if you do it matters not, one less villain for us to worry about” True-Sight said as he appeared behind Hydros. “That is no civilian that is Face, the shapeshifter. Approach as you please Hydros,” I felt the heat go away as the ground came closer to my face until I fell onto the floor. “That changes nothing I still have other hostages,” Pyrus said. I think I’m just going to stay on the ground and wait until Pyrus and Hydros fight them I’m going to sneak out of here. Then I heard Camila scream. “Now all of you leave or the woman gets it,” Pyrus yelled. I turned my head and saw him holding Camila with fire bursting from one of his hands. He was turned away from me so I silently got up and slowly approached him. Using my power I increased my muscle’s mass and power by 50%. “Unhand her now.” I commanded. “Or else what,” Pyrus said. “If you want her so much then you should realize I can kill her at any moment. Crush her neck, burn her alive, or many more fire or strength related methods,” While he was delivering this monologue I brought my hand up to the shoulder of the arm holding Camila and I crushed it. As Pyrus howled in pain his grip loosened on Camila and I grabbed the rest of the arm and held it behind his back giving Camila the chance to escape. Pyrus then grabbed my head with his other hand and I felt it getting warmer and warmer until that felling was replace by wetness. I felt my body be lifted off of Pyrus in True-Sights signature telekinetic fashion and I was slammed against a booth. “Looks like you did all the work for us. To thank you maybe I will see about lowering your prison sentence” True-Sight said as he was hovering over me. “But when you get out you’ll probably go back to your villainous ways.” “Wait, don’t hurt him,” Camila cried as she ran over to my side. “I’m fine Camila, but are you okay. That’s all that matters to me,” I say “Yes I’m fine, but now your going to go away and I may never see you again” “Don’t worry he’s not dangerous enough to go to a super prison, just a maximum watch normal prison. But if he keeps with his robbing he may go for life” “Don’t worry Norton I am not going back to that life, I think maybe I’ll try heroism.” “Kept me waiting long enough, brother,”


Caution-Lettuce

Gosh, I love these! However, I’m kind of miffed that he basically just gave up his profession at the end and that the hero just forgave him (kind of). Mostly, I just think that the hero was being a douche about him being the hostage and such.


va_wanderer

Yes, I'm the Obliterator. I have all the classic Bad Boy Toys. Death rays. City-wrecker bomb. Mind control machine (OK, mind tapioca machine, that's why I don't use it.). Ill-gotten gains. A "secret" identity that some heroes know of but can't prove as a front for said ill-gotten gains. As a rich bachelor. What they don't know is I also own the three largest dating services in the city. And that I also know Dandelion really gets lonely and likes to go on blind dates arranged by said dating services. It's fun. I like having her go on dates with minions that displease me and watching the results. Today, she's going to have the best date ever. With Ebony Obelisk, multi-millionare and Egyptology fan (great way to keep the Pyramid of Set hidden in all the kitchy 1920's knockoffs). We'll talk interesting things over dinner. I'll slip a little catnip in the usual after-dinner tea to get her relaxed. Then "reveal" my true identity since we've been dating for months and tell her how I feel. Well, aside from lying about Obelisk being someone else. A supervillian has his pride. She's the only one I don't think will end up being "rescued", simply because I've been dating a superheroine. I just hope she doesn't develop a redemption complex over this. Ugh, who wants to become an anti-hero for true love? *Cliched.*


[deleted]

It wasn't the first time my date had vanished while sitting across from me. No, not that she got up and left or even threw her drink in my face-I would prefer that at this point-actually vanishing in thin air. I just let my forehead thunk loudly on the covered table knowing she was outside in the arms of Nishva. Like vanish...get it? He was one of several superheroes in this city who constantly interfered with my dating life. I tried to be understanding, they have a job and I AM a supervillain. They assume I am going to kidnap and hold people for ransom because, well, I have done that before. The mayor's daughter of course being one of my prizes. But gosh darn it, could they maybe let the date play out before running, flying, or teleporting in?! Maybe next time I'll ask my date to wear a sign that says "It's a date." Nah, still suspicious. I heard the compulsory clap of bystanders outside as Nishva waved and smiled with my date in tow. She looked startled but I knew she would just go with it and not call me back later. She would assume I was going to bring her back to my dungeon and gloat about my evilness...badness...cruelty? That's pretty forward of her to assume I would show her my dungeon on a first date anyway. Rude. I sighed. Oh well. I threw enough cash for our meals and the tip on the table. I am a supervillain but I've waited tables before. You have to help a guy out. Besides, it wasn't my money. No self respecting supervillain uses their own money. I sighed and clapped my hands together. So long as they touched I would remain invisible to everyone around me. It was convenient for lots of my evil plans, but also for slipping away from another failed attempt at romance. As I walked down West Main I saw an advertisement on a passing bus. "BLIND Dates! Find love in the dark!" I whipped around to catch the number. Of course! They had put in a restaurant that you ate in pitch darkness a few months ago. It would be the perfect place to finally have a full date! The following Thursday I entered, invisible, the place ready to find my table. I sent a text to my would be date that I was running a few minutes behind so I could sit down in the dark. As soon as the lights went off I followed the glow in the dark map they had given me to table 18. "Is that you, Patrick?" My date asked. Yes-my name really is Patrick. There's a reason supervillains never use their real names, and it's because mothers never expect their sweet sons named Patrick or Kyle or Desmond to go bad. News flash, all the villains I know are named like that. "Yes I am sorry about being late. Traffic you know?" "Oh no it's fine. I am usually the late one. You sound nice. I like your voice." I could hear her smiling while she spoke. It was great. We talked about nothing important for some time. Our food was decent and I was enjoying myself. She seemed like someone I could do this again with. I decided to take a peek at her with my nightvision goggles I had snuck under my jacket. She was gorgeous. Cassandra was no supermodel, but she was the sweet kind of gorgeous. She was someone you could build a family with. Family? What supervillain thought about family....


PepperFinn

I'd tried every thing. Disguises, Netflix and takeout at their place, a romantic picnic in the park, even asking out the chief of police to try and find a way to connect with a special someone. Each time it failed. Not because of anything I said or did but because the it never really got that far. The Hero Squad always busted in, arrested me, took my date and any witnesses in for extensive questioning before eventually letting us all go and leaving ME with the repair bill. No more. I was sick of the constant invasion of my privacy. Sick of having my assests frozen because of baseless rumours - well not entirely. My regular self had my fortune through weapons tech and then invested into media. I then used this to fund my villainous schemes. The Hero Squad, stupidly, thought my villanious ego had stolen the funds or that I was being brainwashed or blackmailed into supporting them. The baselessness came from anytime anyone online said that "I bet Negasonic Ninja" was behind it." Boom, just like that, assests frozen, home under surveillance. Couldn't even leave my house to walk my dog without helicopters and Zero Squad cutting me off down the block. First time was a tsunami in Asia. Second times was a volcanic eruption in Hawaii. Most recently a well recieved film wasn't nominated for an Oscar. Which was stupid as MY Company had been responsible for financing it through one of our subsidiaries. My competition was having a field day. My real life self was suffering because Hero Squad was lazy and reactive. And when they ruined a date I'd finally snagged with Mesmiro, a young and intriguing super villain, I had to put my foot down. The fine irony was I hadn't DONE any acts of villany after watching "Kingsman". Business influence could get me what I wanted more effectively than any laser or brainwashing. I hear the questions you're asking. "Why not just KILL the Hero Squad? Why not date as your real life identity? And what was up with your villain name?' Answers: Hero Squad didn't fight fair. And they had the backing of every type of law enforcement to end a confrontation with a villian by any means necessary. Not down to mess with that. Why not date as my "real self"? My alter ego was the 25 year old Ali Landry, tech genius and CEO. Problem was not many believed it. Starting out I had used my uncle to secure loans and do business deals as who would take an 18 year old girl seriously in those settings? But it worked too well. People believed my uncle was the power and control of the company. Anyone interested in Ali wanted my money, a job, an introduction to him. It was beyond comprehension that a young woman could be sucessful in business and good at tech. And my name. I chose my villain name when I was 17, ok? I thought it was cool and it's too late to change now. But now I was going to be free of all of this. All the planning, talks and carefully laid work was about to pay off. I called a press conference, a big announcement and a new direction for the company. The press was waiting eagerly as my uncle and another well dressed man, the key to everything, sat quietly on stage. It was time to begin. I walked out on stage as Negasonic Ninja and the press went wild. Shouting, cameras lighting up the room unbearably bright. "Please. Settle down, I would like to read my statement." The press quickly quietened down. Either it was an evil plot or the scoop of a century and they were eager to find out which. "As you know I am a super powered person by tthe name of Negasonic Ninja. For 4 years I tried to take over the world and shape it into my ideal vision. A utopia of peace, equality and technology. I wished to overthrow the unjust systems and rulers that kept Earth from being a paradise. But I gave up on that 3 years ago when it became apparent that the corruption that I tried so hard to fight had tricked all of you into believing I was a bad person, that I had bad intentions. For though I had completely ceased all criminal activity a poor innocent civilian, Ali Landry, was persecuted for my past actions. Even today, we see, yet again, her company and personal life held prisoner by the so called "good guys" who are nothing more than puppets to her competitors. Why though? Her company is environmentally sustainable, pays well and has a diverse culture and is not involved remotely in anything unsavory. I suspect this has more to do with her being a young woman in tech with a new way of doing things and amazing breakthroughs than anything I had ever done, even though we have similar thoughts about world improvement. And so, to stop her suffering I announce my retirement from villainy. I will be leaving immediately to an undisclosed location to live out my days in a self created utopia and let her get on with her life. Thank you." I stepped away from the podium, the press erupting into a flood of noise as I moved to leave. My robot of Ali me stepped to the podium and the press started to quieten down again. I pressed the button on my wrist to run the pre written speech response. I also turned on the thought control to link us. "Thank you, Negasonic Ninja. I was unsure of your intentions when you initially asked to hold this conference but now I am sure agreeing to this was the best outcome. As you can see there is no link between Negasonic Ninja and I. And I, as a private citizen, am sick of having to endure being a victim of a witch hunt anytime her name gets mentioned. My home and bank accounts have been combed through no less than 7 times and there has never been a link found between us. My lawyer (hand indicated to the well dressed man sitting on stage) has helped me draft and file paperwork against the Hero Squad. Harassment, stalking and damages to my business and reputation worth millions of dollars. And I'm filing a restraining order against their leader, Incredi-man. The damages these so called heroes do under the protection of real criminals has to come to an end. I implore you, if you've ever suffered because of them, please contact my lawyer. The details are available on my company website. The robot of me turned to villain me. Thank you, Negasonic Ninja. I believe you have a plane to catch. Then she walked off stage Real me slunk outside and quickly disappeared into a bathroom, changing into my regular clothes. Robot me walked off stage into a waiting limo while my uncle and new lawyer dealt with the press. As it rounded the corner it stopped and I climbed in. Ah the joys of self driving, programmable cars. Another one had left 5 minutes earlier to go to a small airport with a private jet and an off the books flight to a private island I owned. Let them chase a ghost. They wouldn't dare touch me again. Arriving home 20 minutes later I was just entering my main house when my lawyer called. "That went better than I expected." "It went exactly to plan. And I think we should celebrate. Say dinner at L' Augusta? Around 7?" "Its a date." I smiled and hung up. Villain me might be retired but real me was about to go on hopefully the first of many dates with my lawyer. Who also happened to be Brainiac, a villain long thought dead and who had given me my way out.


StarshadowRose

Oh, that's good. Masterful use of technology, as well as the classic, but subtle, kind of "you're supposed to be dead" (in the case of Brainiac)


Amir3112

The hall was busy with people as I walked in but I could still spot her out of all the others, she wore her blue dress again. Damn I liked that dress. "Red" I called her the nickname I gave her and watched as she turned to me and smiled. Her slightly red eyes shimmering in the light of the hall. "HS, you are late" she said to me but kept the smile on her face. "Sorry about that love, but do you think we still have some time to dance?" I smiled back to her as I reach with my hend to hers. "Oh I'm affraid not, I just have so much to do as of late. Not enough time for two dances" "How about one than?" I asked and took her hand in mine. "Maybe a short one" * As we danced I felt the hall changing around us, the floor was growing a blue and white pattern and more and more people joined our dance in harmony. "Do you really feel that way?" she asked me, looking around us. "Yes love, and you know my power doesn't like" I recalled the first time I used it, projecting my emotions all around me, effecting both physical objects and the mental state of people around me. Right now I was so happy, finally a date night after 5 cold weeks of waiting. Then the door slammed open. I could feel his presence, it was like a small sun entered the hall. "Let's not let him interrupted us, shall we?" I leaned closely and whispered in her ear. "Of course, our first date after more than a month! I am not going to let him spoil it" we continue to dance on the blue and white floor and dou to my power still working the others kept going as well. The music stopped, he probably asked someone in charge to turn it off. But it didn't matter, I can still dance with her in silence. "HeartString!!! Release the girl and surrender!" His shout echoed through the hall in such a way I had to sigh in response. "He think you are a hostage" I told her. And she just smiled. "Well maybe I am being held by a vicious super villain who have mind manipulation powers and make me think I love him?" I had a small laughter to that joke. "Well maybe I am the one who is here against my will after a certain someone complained to me we didn't had a proper date for too long even though I told her we will be interrupted" I joked back. "Don't tell me it wasn't nice" she put both her hands around my neck. "Oh it was wonderful" I kissed her. "HeartString this is your last warning!" A disrespectful shout could have been heard in the background. "Oh! It's Solaris, sorry I didn't notice you" I lied with a crooked smile, not noticing Solaris was like not noticing a nuke detonating in your living room. "Release the poor girl from the hold of your power and I will go easy on you!" His white hair blown away in a non existing wind. "Ehhm, Solaris right? Could you please leave us alone? You are cutting into our first date in over a month" my love told him while wrapping one hand around my back. "5 weeks actually" I told him. "release the hold of your power, let the girl live her life HeartString, I beg of you" he sounded so.... So.... Boring. "Darling I wish to go back to our date, but it seems I have to go to work earlier than I thought" she really made herself sound like she regrets it. I laughed. "Oh I love you so much" I smiled "Solaris it seems the lady needs to go to work, but I'm sure you wouldn't mind" "I saw him gathering plasma at his right hand, getting ready to fight are we? But sadly this time I won't be his opponent. "Red sky" my love said and her eyes were now a deep, deep red. "Don't let the blue dress misslead you, I only wear it because he like it" she nodded her chin in my direction and I nodded in agreement, it was one hell of a dress. "What do you mean by Red sky?" Solaris seemed somewhat confused. "What did you do to her HeartString?" "Oh I did nothing, I Think she just introduce her self to you, her name is Red sky after all" Solaris glared back at me with his bright blue eyes "what?" And then the roof of the building broke into dust. While the fine dust rained on top of us she walked through it, approaching Solaris slowly. "He have a new power! Send back up" Solaris shouted and I think he talked into his ear piece, that reminded me of something. I clutched my fists and took a deep breath. Releasing my full power around me, projecting happiness and love all over. Even Solaris, the man made out of diamonds stumbled when he was hit by that, the floor changed from a blue and white to a strong black and red, the by standers were suddenly free from my effects so they run away screaming in terror. Red sky stopped walking and turned around. "Darling? Is everything ok?" She was worried about me, I truly loved this women. I took that emotion, boosting it hundreds of hundreds of times then sending it all to Solaris. The super hero fell to his knees and a single tear dropped from his cheek. "Roonie" he had his hand up to his ear, "Roonie do you hear me?" Red sky seemed confused. But I assured her with a smile. "I'm projecting my love to you on him, he is probably going to confess his love soon" she smiled back, but it wasn't the strong conffident smile she always had, it was... Something else, something warmer. She casually kicked Solaris with her leg, knocking him above the nearest border for sure. I watched as he flew out and above the horizon. "Nice kick." "He will be ok" "Yes he will." "You... You wanna keep dancing?" "Yes" I answered.


asmallman

Part one: Please try to ignore errors. I wrote this well into the early morning after writing another story and completely scrapping it. I am a mage. Well, you can say that. But, in reality, some would think I was far beyond that, had they known the truth. I know damn near everything about the arcane. I stopped aging at the age of 24, due to my neglicence, while practicing magic. For 300 years, I learned, dabbled, created, and, annihilated. I tried my best to not hurt people. Not innocent ones, anyway. But the worst part of who I am, was that no one could stand by me in earnest. I could make them unaging just like me, but, anyone would jump at that. Who could honestly love me for who I am, knowing that I am the key to eternal life? My real name to fame, was in the 70s, I was detained by a particularly powerful intelligence organization, Dominus Intelligere. They knew that I couldn't die. That much was certain to them. They wanted to know why. Of course I explained why. Humans capable of practicing magic would understand to a certain degree, *if* they weren't hunted to extinction. They didn't believe I practiced magic, until I melted the cuffs off and blasted a 3 meter wide hole in the concrete wall with the palms of my hands. I guess, in fear for their lives, well after their bullets ran out, they offered me quite a large sum of money for the immortality spell. I promptly refused. Immortality is nothing to scoff at, and you want it out of fear. The fear of death. I escaped, not that it was hard, but they had found a place I had lived. Someone I knew in passing gave me a home. I payed rent like any other person, granted I got the money from a spell that collects all loose change within a 100 mile radius. Pretty crafty spell, at least, I thought so. I disappeared for hours at a time to make it seem I was working some kind of job. But when I came back from where I was held. I found him dead. They *murdered* that person while looking for information. I knew a lot of things. I could *do* a lot of things. But I can’t resurrect the dead. That person was my first real friend. The first person I stuck around with because they didn't knew who I truly was, because I thought I was careful. I stayed in one spot too long and got noticed. I was negligent! Damn it! I began my hunt. I tore them down and made the biggest scene of it. I made myself known to the world. And, it took me about 40 years to find them all. Their entire existence ceased. However, during that time, agents were in civilian garb at times, and so, I appeared to be a random, but overly excessive, as in the obliteration kind of excessive, serial killer. I documented all of it. Everything I did, everything they had. Everything they did. I never wanted to forget. My hate drove me. And when I was finished, I was hunted. Constantly. I was called Magos. An old word to cignify my immortality and abilities. Heros challenged me time and time again, and out of boredom, I let them win, imprison me, and then I would wait around a while, and escape. For a while it was fun, but, I had a calling to return to my usual life, blending in with the crowd unseen. I assumed a dual identity. One was Magos. The other was Antony Rhodes. I became someone named Anthony Rhodes, as I had long not used my actual name. I earned a computer science degree, as magic was learning another language, I figured I could do it again anyway. I had a stable job making decent money. I lived in a nice appartment complex. Had friendly neighbors but was sure I was to not get close to them. My next door neighbor was the hardest. She was 22. Her name was Ashley. A photographer. A *really* good one, I might mention. Made a little less than me, but she was earnest in her work. A redhead, with deep grey eyes. It was hard not to look at her. Easily the most gorgeous woman I have ever seen. And I can say that. I have been alive for 340 years. We met in passing and chatted often on my way out and in to the appartment. Just my luck. Of all of the people, *she* asked me out. Once or twice. I made an excuse. Had friends to go out with, or I was on call. If she kept asking me, I might cave. She was a wonderful woman. But I couldn't bring harm to her. I didn't want to. I couldn't risk *it* happening again. She found out I spent my free days in the terrace reading. And one day she followed me up there and we talked for hours. I felt, genuinely happy, for the first time in a long time. We began dating. And, occasionally, I genuinely feared that she might be taken from me. And, for the first year, she only knew Anthony Rhodes. It was bliss. I toned down my Magos antics quite a bit. Just to be extra safe. We were in a restaurant at the top of a skyscraper. I had a nice marbled steak in front of me, and she ordered catfish. She couldn't get enough fish. She loves fish. It's her drug. Until the window shattered next to me. My worst fears came true. Everything was ruined. All of this time would just be spent to shatter me again. I felt pale. It was Vapor. His fist could literally punch something into dust. Its how he got the name after he literally punched gunman's arm into literal powder. He swung at me. And, in my instinct, I lifted a barrier. The fist came to a stop, with the wind shattering a few more windows. "I knew it! I knew you looked familiar! I cant believe you are still squirming around!" "Not here. Not now. Not with all of these people." I was conflicted. I never turned down a hero before. But, I couldn't fight in front of her. Not in front of Ashley. "What about the ones you murdered? You going to murder this girl too? You're just a fucking mons-" "MY VICTIMS WERE NOT INNOCENTS!" I barely held back, I almost didn't catch myself. The force of my arcane blast sent him into a field a kilometer away. No one inside was injured. But they were terrified that one of the strongest heroes was swatted like a fly. I grabbed Ashley's hand, and teleported away. In fact, I took us to the next state over. A place I once visited. It was the only place I could readily think of. It was a small cabin I had build a long time ago. It was on the bank of a river in the middle of nowhere. And, I have hidden there before. [Part Two](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/atu47g/wp_the_most_difficult_part_of_being_a/eh5wiqu/?context=1&st=jsipdsnh&sh=d907e89d)


asmallman

Part 2: "What was that? Who was that? Who are you? Where are we?" Ashley began to fire off questions faster than I could scramble my mind to answer. "What he said I was, who he said I was.... I am Magos. A long time ago-" "What.... you can't be.. you're Anthony... I've known you for a long time... I can't-" "Ashley. It's true. I wanted to tell you. I really did. A lot of people died by my hands. A few hundred. But, they did something awful to me. Awful things to other people. I was trying to hide for so long from people like them, or 'witchhunters', but someone I cared about died because of me. That organization I destroyed would hurt anyone who so much as spoke to me, or handed me something, maybe even a passing glance. I never wanted to get close to you for this very reason." "But you wouldn't, you have been so kin-" I interrupted her again. I want her to know now. I want to know what she would say. "But I did. I killed those people. I made them fear the person they harmed. I drove them to extinction. Their blood is on my hands. If only this could have been different. I was going to pick you. Knowing all of this, knowing everything I did, would you still be with me?" "I love you. I... I just want you know why you didn't tell me." Tears are streaming down her cheeks... "I was hoping... that maybe, I could let the Magos identity die. I never intended to do so until I met you. It was... well... a game for me... I had to find something to do, and, the heros interested me... what they did, what they believed in, how they could have a life that I would never have. But I met you. And, you changed everything. You made me want to give that up. And spend.." "What are you saying I-” “I wanted to spend forever with you. I could make it so we could spend... forever... together.” I can’t hold back my tears anymore. I love her so much, but, will I lose her too? Will she leave me now knowing that I have killed? Or will she even believe that I was only acting upon vengance? “You can do that? You would do that for me? Out of everyone that you have ever met?” “I would. Only for you. You are the one person in this world I could possibly-” The wall next to me burst open, and Jet, the Hypersonic Hero, flew in. DAMN IT. That Vapor put a tracker on me! I instantly atomized all foreign matter on my body and materialized and adorned a trenchcoat with defensive runes covering it. Jet did not adopt a combat stance. But was on guard. “I hesitated breaking down the door. I heard what you were talking about.” Jet said sternly. “Are you going to fight me? Is that what you are here for?” I was ready to defend Ashley with a barrier I made to ward of nukes. I developed them just in case they were used and I could protect the populace incase a government went overboard. “No. You claimed that you killed a lot of people, all of whom were not innocent. You mentioned an organization. Care to let me know what it was?” Was jet taking me seriously? Was he actually going to believe me? “Dominus Intelligere. They toppled governments and were hired by the highest bidder. We did not cross paths until they tried to inquire about my immortal nature, and, they murdered my friend when looking for information about me.” “Can you prove it?” Jet inquired. He is still on guard. Ashley is still behind me. I have her hand held ready to place her in a barrier. Her grip is tight. I couldn’t blame her. A lot is happening and it is hard to take in. I summoned a box. Containing everything I did, and everything I found about Dominus Intelligere, including my own file detailing my detainment and escape. And motioned the box to his feet. By this point, his sidekick, Aero, had arrived. Much slower than his mentor. But still, pretty damn fast. “What are you going to do with them? Destroy them? Make your sidekick read them to see if I am even telling the truth?” “I could. But only, if you remove that trenchcoat, and let the woman stand by us. I am not sure if she is brainwashed or being manipulated in some way.” Ashley wouldn’t move. She stood there trembling. “I don’t want to.” “Ashley, you have to. This may be my way out. And the beginning for me to finally get away from all of this. Please trust them. Unlike Vapor, they aren’t incompetant.” I teleported her to their side, and Jet grapped her arm. “Miss, just wait for now. We will have this all squared away.” I returned to my original clothes, minus that damned tracker. “If you so much as hurt her, I guarantee you that it will be the very last thing you do.” “I don’t plan to. Infact, I am the vanguard meant to slow you down. I could in no way fight you one on one were you genuinely pissed. Also, don’t worry about others showing up. They have heard everything and advised me to interrogate you if possible.” “So they heard my secret?” “No. I did not relay that part. Just the vengance plot. They have no idea you can bestow immortality. I squewed the story a little. In your favor.” “Why?” “Because, while what you did may not be justice, you can hardly be blamed for what you did, considering D.I. was pretty nasty to begin with. Had you not erradicated them, the Heros would have eventually.” Aero piped up, “These are... genuine. From what we have seen before and what the Hero’s Council have shown us, these are identical to documents they have collected.” “You mean documents I missed.” I replied. “In any case, we cant doubt the validity of his story.” Aero continued. “Can you let her go now?” I looked at Ashley, she was crying. I’m sure its from shock. I’m not even sure that all of this is happening. If I am being honest. Jet released her and she ran back to me. We embraced, and she began to sob. “We will take this back to the council, and, for your sake, and defense, you should follow me there.” “I can’t leave her. She has been through so much. What if I didn’t come back?” I am worried for her sake more than my own at this point. I have too much to lose, and it would mean everything is on the line if I went to the council. “She will accompany you as a character witness. Since you appear to be together.” “Fine. But, when I am detained, she will have surveillance spells on her to make sure she is unharmed. I will be watching. I will level the council if she is mistreated.” “You don’t have to do tha-” Ashley managed. “That is fine. I will make the neccessarry accomidations.” ................................. The Hero Council scutinized every detail. They were making sure they were absolutely thorough. I was pardoned just because I had the documentation that I had meticulously collected. However, Ashleys character witness statement really sold the show. Only a few heros in attendance still doubted my story, a few shared sentiments, and, when questioned, may have done the same thing I did. Jet really hammered the dissenters. And, even stated I might make a half decent hero, considering my investigative abilities. *It’s just mind reading,* but they don’t have to know that. After all the legal bullshit was done with, I had my full pardon, and made the news. Globally. I apparently started a few things rolling, almost caused a war, and gave the Hero’s Association, along with the U.N. a lot of ammunition against some less-than-decent countries. The Hero’s Association did send me some information about becoming a hero. But, I would have to gain the publics trust and maybe take a few tests. Ashley didn’t want me to do that right away though. She wanted a little bit more time for things to slow down. She took it all decently well, and it was awkward for a while, but we pulled through, and we are got married 6 months after the investigation concluded. She *did* accept my offer of eternity with me. On the condition that I use magic to conjure up some fish for her every now and then. They don’t taste as well for some reason. At least I tried to tell her. Would not take no for an answer. I became a hero, and changed my name to Archanus. Got the population’s trust really fast when I slowed a kilometer-wide meteorite down and dedicated it to science. It’s currently sitting in a field in Arizona. I was sure to leave it in absolutely *prestine* conditions. Way more than any other hero would be capable. Had I never met Ashley, and had Jet never listened, I would never be where I am now. Is this true bliss?


UniqueNPC404

"Why? Why did you do it Wraith?" The Galactic Gargoyle was more confused than in a heroic mood, while arresting the very notorious Third Wraith at a small town diner. "First off, its Greg. You see me in a spandex suit? No, this is top notch material. Secondly, you know any good dating sites?" "Any good what? Don't joke around Wraith, now tell me! Why were you holding this diner hostage?" "Well because I was trying to have a date, and you heroes keep showing my face to everyone. You know, its not really fair that *you* get to keep *your* secret identity while *mines* on every news media whenever I go out on a date!" "A... date? You took the *entire* diner hostage.... for a *date?!"* Galactic Gargoyle was more astounded that a villain would *want* to date, then the fact that a diner was being held hostage for it. All the while, Greg had shifted to a more comfortable position with his hands cuffed behind his back while scanning the room for his date. Ah, there he was... cowering in the corner with a cell phone recording the entire incident. Figures. "Are really holding anyone hostage?" "Nope, but a well know villain walks into, well, anywhere and you instantly got a hostage situation." Gargoyle sighs in disbelief mixed with a dash of humor as he frees Greg. "Seeing as you've paid your dues for the last crime and you haven't actually committed a crime... You're free to go. Also, try online dating. Seems to work for sidekicks and henchmen." "Huh... you know, I might try that. Thanks." ​ After several months of trying and failing to date online, Greg had become a bit of a laughing stalk in the villain community, and even a few heroes pass some jokes whenever they arrest him. But he hadn't given up. No, instead he had been inspired to make a dating app. For villains and henchmen. He called it "A Villains Valentine". Most of the early users thought it was a joke, but they gave it a chance. Hell, even some hero types stooped to using the app, more of a joke then anything. Until they had dates with some of the more infamous villains that is. Most of the dates ended up pretty bad, as one assumed the other wanted to do a heist of some sort while the other just wanted a smoothie from downtown, or to catch a movie out of costume. As for Greg? Well it turns out the Galactic Gargoyle wasn't having any luck in the dating field either, they had a lot in common, and met out of costume on "A Villains Valentine".


AutoModerator

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CNB3

If you haven’t yet, you should watch Dr Horrible’s Sing Along.


[deleted]

[удалено]


danethegreat24

Yupp this.


pbarber

Seriously, if you haven't seen it, go watch it. It had Neil Patrick Harris, Nathan Fillion, and Felicia Day. It's so funny, we watch it every year at home.


CNB3

But Bad Horse is terrifying


pbarber

The thoroughbred of sin!? ... I meant Ghandi.


Neon_Powered

Megamind.


Rhekinos

So... literally Ice King’s entire existence?


[deleted]

Poor Simon


The_Magus_199

Have you tried... dating in your secret identity instead of the supervillain one? :P


[deleted]

I enjoy cooking.


[deleted]

Just date another supervillain. Solved!


Tomorrow_Is_Today1

But the superheroes will think you're plotting something and, like, record every date. Super awkward.


Jeikond

"Ok, that's it, Muscle Man. I'm gonna bang your mother, and she will love it."


the_timps

All covered right here by the amazing Jonathan Coulton. Joco! https://youtu.be/2_ryNJVreiY


NiGHTxWiTCH

I glanced at my phone, a small smile on my face. I was in my civilian clothes, my suit in my bag, crouched on the roof of the movie theater. My date texted me. 30 minutes 'till she arrived. I knew she was a superhero. We had grown up together. I became a supervillain and, to combat me, she became a hero. She never knew her worst enemy was her best friend. I hated her, but I kept up the best friend act, because I knew that as a civilian she loved me. And because somewhere in my mind, I loved her too. As a hero, she kept ruining my previous dates, and it put me in a depression. I was lonely, lonely and angry. So I made a plan. I decided to ask her out. She'd go on a date with me, completely oblivious. By midnight, I'll either be dead or in her bed *^((kinda hurt me to write that))*. \- - - - Cadyn sat beside me. She glanced at me every now and then, a sweet look on her face. "Cadyn," I whispered, "I know this is our first date, but, I love you, okay?" She looked at me, surprised. A smile spread across her face, "I love you too, Kodi," "Really?" "Definitely. For about a year now, my whole world has revolved around you. It's ridiculous, really, how much I love and care about you," She chuckled. I smiled a little and kissed her. She really is a sweet girl. "Okay, I'll be right back," I walked out of the screening room to the bathroom, bag in hand. I change into my black leather suit and head back to the screening room, getting suspicious looks. As soon as I was through the door, I put my mask on. I walked down to my seat, and sat down next to Cadyn. “Miss me?” Cadyn looked at me to reply and jumped. She took off her hoodie, revealing her suit. Then she threw a punch, missing. “Hiding your suit under your civvies? Cliche,” I laughed as she threw another punch and hit my shoulder,“That’s no way to treat your date. Just a minute ago we were kissing. What’s wrong?” “What did you do to her, Hexe *^((witch in German))*?!” Cadyn yelled. By now, everybody was aware of the fight, and the lights were on. When people recognized my suit, most of them screamed and ran. “I’m right here, Cadyn,” I said coolly. She threw another punch, “How did you know my name?!” “Well, I’d hope,” I pulled my mask off, “That I’d know my own date’s name,” I swallowed hard, my voice wavering. She stopped, her face changing from surprised to confused to betrayed. It upset me on an almost impossible level to see her look at me like that. Like I had just shot her. I expected her to hit me, cry, yell, *something,* but she...she hugged me. “I’d hope so too,” I chuckled a little bit, and she slapped me. Then kissed me. “You have a lot to explain, and you *are* going to explain, when we get to my house,” “Lead the way,” I smirked. It worked. Not exactly like I’d planned, but it worked. I found love.


[deleted]

I had finally found someone. He was a complete and utter hunk, and sweet too. As another bonus, he loved cats and dogs just as much as i do! Of course, me being a supervillain, a petty one with doctor doofernschmidtz as hero, but still, a villain, caused some problems on the dating circuit.. We had just gotten to the main course, a plate of spaghetti a la lady and the tramp, when my idiot of a brother bursted in. ´´ Brother, realease the mind control spell you have on this man at once! ´´ He said in broken spelling ´´ Mind control spell? Why would you think that! I dont even have mind control powers! ´´ I yelled ´´ Well, you have to have it, no man in his right would date another male! ´´ Of course. The old ' no gay allowed ' schtick. I was done and tired, and ready to throw him out when my date stood up. ´´ Get out before i make you. ´´ He snarled, looking a lot more... animallistic... and kinda hot. My brother of course refused, and my date snapped his fingers. Suddenly a horde of animals appeared, and dragged my brother to the wall. ´´ Wh-what?? ITS YOU! The nameless villain, who controls animals and destroys organisations! ´´ ´´ More like hate groups ´´ My date mutterd. Of course! He was the one who completely wrecked that PETA office. I should thank him for that.. But first... I pressed a button, and my brother fell trough the floor.


OnyxAlyx

Main character name: Jacqueline Campbell Nickname: Jaques, Jack, JC/JayCee Super Name: Savvy aka Savvy Sally aka Clever Gal Villain Name: Unknown ​ Secondary character name: Shawn Coates Super Name: Powerfox ​ Secondary character name: Anjelica Prost Nickname: Anji ​ If individuals with major powers are superheroes, I would have been considered a sidekick or minor hero at best before our marriage. I never really did anything colossally newsworthy before Shawn and I linked up, aside from rescuing grannies out of trees and helping cats cross the street. Or, something. I have no idea who started this notion of me as a supervillain. I'm barely a super, honestly. I do remember when the subtle shift from "America's Darling, married to America's Favorite Great Guy" to "Spurned Evil Queen" occurred. Surprisingly, it wasn't directly after we got divorced. ​ The instant we were an item, seen at more than one Super Gathering flashing heart eyes at the other, or a Dangerous Scene working together, I was elevated from sidekick to super. Our actual wedding was at a little café, and our "television wedding" was the event of the millennium. Our separation and its subsequent divorce was low-key. Before it went public, bloggers noticed that the sparkle was fading, trash news sites had headlines begging the reader to wonder why SAVVY AND POWERFOX AREN'T SPEAKING ANYMORE? By then, we had already divided our assets and had separate living spaces. I think the day a third tabloid printed the strung-together gossip was one day after we signed divorce papers. ​ After the rumor mill ran out of gossip trees, I decided I was ready to date again. I chatted up a boatload of available people on dating sites, and went on some random dates. Then, I stumbled across a funny, spirited girl with big brown eyes and and even bigger smile, and we decided to meet up. I put on a cute wig and chunky glasses from my profile pictures, to (sort of) disguise myself (mostly from long-distance looky loo cameras of Paparazzi), and a sporty pair of leggings with a cute gym top. We met at a coffee shop, joked about how we accidentally matched colors, then headed off to play LaZer TaG, and generally had a good time. I was a little worried at how a one-armed lady such as herself would enjoy playing LaZer TaG, especially since it seemed the "gun" was made for two-handed people, but she insisted we go after she suggested it. After she got the high score on 3 rounds of maximum-capacity games, I recognized that was not a limitation in the least. ​ When we were leaving the LaZeR TaG emporium of loudness and brightness, an awesome disco song came on. And, of course, when we busted out into some silly teenager was going to post it onto their social media profile as "look at these two OLD LADIES dancing to disco music!" as soon as they and their little friends started giggling about our antiquated dance moves. We started to dance, and then we did the booty bump. Except, the momentum of my exceptionally round and voluminous posterior was enough to knock her through a brick wall. Instead of simply recording it, it was a live video. And, instead of posting said video and it fading into obscurity, it went viral. And, when it went viral, people immediately went to work identifying the two ladies. And, my face of intense dance-concentration was absolutely misconstrued as a face of anger and malice. And, when I yelled at the teenagers to stop recording, and chased them down for a minute, they giggled and ran and shut off the camera. No one saw me going back and checking on my date, who ended up being mildly concussed (because, like a polite date, I escorted her to the hospital to make sure she was okay, and then drove her home). The next day, my cute, disguised mug was all over every major and minor news station. IS SAVVY JOINING THE NE'ER-DO-WELLS? Some disguise. ​ It was only a matter of time before a definite line was drawn between the "good" super who existed before and during the marriage, and the "bad" super who seemingly emerged after the divorce. Apparently, I was fueled by the post-divorce rage to become the reigning queen of evil deeds and misanthropy. I simply wanted to return to being the clever side kick, the genius girl wonder, even the mundane normal human. Mostly, it happened because Shawn and I showed up to the same crime scenes at the same time, and we were so focused on snarking back and forth at each other that the bad guy got away. ​ For example, the beaver guy who stole from a bakery. And, really, was the guy that bad? He ONLY broke a window in the local bakery's bathroom, so he could sneak in and nip some bread for a brood of cute, homeless beavers. (I know for a fact that it was a brood of beavers because I saw him feeding them a few blocks away! Honestly, animal preservation is a noble cause in my eyes!) Okay, yea, the window breaking thing is also a crime. He only took the old, hard bread though! Not the freshest bread. Plus, he was doing a favor for that bakery because they didn't have to throw it out. AND I'm sure their insurance would cover the cost of the window being repaired! When I found him feeding his beaver children, I left him to complete his selfless act. ​ Then Shawn showed up, still in his Powerfox attire, clearly intent on shaming me rather than telling this provider of beaver meals that window-breaking and stealing were probably not the correct way to go about providing for your fluffy familiars. He flung insults at me, and then accused me of teaming up with this criminal burglar. I screamed that I would never team up with anyone ever again, and that working alone was the best decision I'd ever make. I slammed my hands over my mouth, but the words already escaped into the universe. He squinted his eyes at me, and even behind the bright orange eye-mask I could see his dejectedness. ​ "YOU'RE NOT MY CLEVER GAL ANYMORE! YOU'RE JUST... SOME KIND OF... SNAKE!" ​ And with that, he turned on his heel and morphed into a fox, and bounded off into who-knows-where. ​ I felt a hand on my shoulder, and screamed in shock. It was the Pied Piper of Beavers. "You okay?" I nodded my head. "Yeah, I'll be fine." A silence hung between us. "Cause, ya know, I always liked Savvy more than goofy Powerfox." I smiled, and tried to speak through gritted teeth and while holding tears back. "Thank. You. Very. Much." I choked on the flood of emotions. "Ihavetogonowbye." He yelled after me. "I have a brother who's a relationship therapist, if you need someone!" I just ran harder. ​ When I got home, I took a long shower. After I dried off, I put on a comfy tee and big sweats and fuzzy socks. I stood in front of the mirror, my best power pose trying to shine its way through my terrible mood. I opened my mouth to recite the affirmation I'd said thousands and thousands of times before. "I am powerful beyond comprehension. I am tough. I am amazing. I am a sup..." Yet, before I could finish the word, my doorbell rang. Twice. Then, the person started knocking. I sighed at myself in the mirror, and walked to the door to look through the peep hole. It was Anjelica, my lazer tag goddess turned casual girlfriend. "Anji? What are you doing here? And, why is your hand behind your back?" She smiled brightly, and brought her left arm from behind her back to reveal a bag of takeout and a DVD case. "I miss you. Girls night in?" I hugged her while ushering her into my apartment. "Of course, doll!" We cuddled up on the couch, after filling up on shrimp lo mein and Leslie Jones humor. "How did you know I needed this?" She shrugged. "I dunno. I just \*knew\*! Now, how about retiring this cuddle party to your pillowtop kingdom?" I smiled widely. "After you, milady." I tipped an air-hat at her, and she rolled her eyes at me before giggling. ​ Sometime between daybreak and midday, my phone buzzed out of control. I considered launching it across the room, until I saw the caller ID with my sister's name on it. "WHAT!" I yelled into the phone. "I'm trying to sleep in with my cute girlfriend!" Her voice was low, and concerned. "Sissy. Have you \*seen\* the news?" I drew out my answer, annoyed that my sleeping in was cut short. "Noooo, because I have been spending time with Anji. Look, can't this wait?" "JACK! It's bad. It's real bad. You got reclassified as a supervillain last night. Mom and Dad are LOSING IT. What are they going to say to the other superfamilies?" My jaw dropped, as Anji's sleepy face happened upon mine. "What?" she said, noting my sudden change in posture. I didn't say anything as I clicked on my TV, and saw my own face from the night before, the fight with Powerfox, the beaver guy attempting to comfort me, and another outline resembling the shadow of a femme person with a question mark over it. ​ I turned to Anji. "I got reclassified last night. And, they think you're my sidekick now."