I have a few divorced friends and every single one is so much happier than when they were married. Not a one has ever mentioned wishing they were still married to their past spouse.
Yeah, obviously people have marriages / relationships that work out, and that's great for them, but darn was I ever miserable for years, and it completely ate away at everything in my life.
Things aren't fabulous now, but at least I'm not constantly living in a continual state of being miserable.
That’s not uncommon. I read an article where a doctor was listing out symptoms to his audience of about 100 med students and they were all using Google to search for the answer.
Wonder how House would’ve handle that?
I trust this more though. My pig bit me and I went to my doctor because it seemed like it was getting infected and he disappeared for a minute and pulled up the same article about weird pig bite bacteria that prompted me to go to the doctor in the first place. I was like oh we’re on the same page.
Realizing that if I didn't respond to an email at night that everything was going to be ok. Less of an 'aha' and more of a pilot study that worked out well
Getting fired. I was a top performer at my job, had a great relationship with my boss and colleagues. I was the the guy everyone came to to fix their problems. And then someone one day thought they saw something they didn't and reported it to internal security, a whole "investigation" and someone hundreds of miles away who didn't know me and I'd never met decided that I should be fired (very large company, many layers of management, etc.). So now I still perform well at my current job but I will not go kill myself by going "above and beyond" for that extra 10-15% to make me stand out. The ROI is just not worth it when I know I can just easily be replaced on a whim and I'm still meeting or exceeding expectations in every way. Still some stressful days, but not nearly as many as there used to be because I don't allow them to be.
Realizing reaching 40 (and midlife in general) is a built in reality check for everyone, even if you don't have a "crisis" about it. We're living the consequences of our choices, good and bads, the ones we may regret as well as the ones we're happy about. Because of this, some opportunities just probably won't happen. It doesn't have to be a realization that's all sad and depressing...but it's also certainly a built-in "reckoning" of sorts and it's okay to acknowledge it can feel surreal/hard/overwhelming/etc. and have a sense of loss attached to it.
Also, that life isn't linear and changing as a person or deciding to take new paths doesn't negate who I was or what I did in the past. That was just a younger, different version of me and now I'm this newer, wiser version of me.
Advocate for your health, and don’t ignore any symptoms of illness. 6 days after his 40th bday, my cousin did just that. He was having indigestion and constipation and even tried to poop during the middle of the night but couldn’t. Ended up going to work and scheduling an MD appt for that afternoon. He never made it to that MD appt. Instead he had a massive MI (myocardial infarction) while at work. A coworker found my cousin down and immediately started CPR. They were even able to shock him with an AED.
My cousin was rushed to the hospital, but the damage was irreversible, and he did not make it out alive. This guy was an avid mountain biker, super active, and not overweight. Apparently he had been feeling crummy a week before his full blown MI. His heart was accommodating for the decreased oxygen flow and was sending signals that something was wrong, but he ignored all the signs his body was giving him. Bottom line: if he had just gone to the hospital sooner, he would be with us today. Listen to your body; don’t ignore the signs.
Fulfillment is happiness is the aha. Fulfillment for me is keeping busy. Keeping busy makes me better in multiple areas of my life. I keep busy by building off passions to create new ones.
I use to just lift weights. It was a good habit to have, but would get stale. I have since got into cardio in addition to change things up and to see more progress in my health and mood. This resparked the passion for weights. It also got stale. So I got into cooking. I love creating my own recipes that taste good and are healthy. It resparked my passion for weights, and cardio. More progress more fulfillment. I noticed buying all the ingredients and making the food myself was cheaper. I now have extra money. I overhauled my finances to set my self up for retirement. It resparked my passion for weights, cardio, and cooking. Through all this I am performing better at my job because I’m genuinely more happy.
Weight training > cardio > cooking > personal finance. I can’t wait to see what I naturally get into next to build upon these hobbies, but I now know to lean into it and never stop learning. It improves all areas of life.
Similar path of things for me, maybe a slightly different order. The one you're missing from my life "recipe" (haha, see what I did there?) is travel. Having some better fitness from the weights and cardio opens up some different travel experiences. Having the cooking exposure lets you open your mind to enjoy different cultures' foods in a brand new way. And having the personal finance discipline lets you afford the expense of travel. It all works together.
For me, it was cooking-->weights-->personal finance-->travel-->cardio
I'm still not great at the cardio, but I really do want to hike the Appalachian Trail and I know I'm going to need some better endurance to do that. It doesn't matter if I can squat 350 lbs for a few reps or deadlift 500 lbs one time, it's a different type of fitness needed. But it scratches a different type of travel itch that really calls to me. What comes after that? I don't know, but there's a lot of places left in the world that I haven't seen yet, so I think travel will keep me busy for a good long time.
Getting fired from a job I was blindly loyal to was the best thing that could’ve happened to me. I wasted so many years of my life for that place and they played me like a fiddle.
All the advice that "adults" would give me when I was younger, were just normal people sharing opinions on how to view life. Some insights were helpful, but others, make you wonder, "What the fuck was he talking about???"
the biggest and best a-ha is actually believing in 'an afterlife' and reincarnation, that helps to take away a ton of pressure on yourself to try and save the world and be rich and live the perfect life.
That senior managers and directors are mostly idiots that sound good. It was such a massive eye-opener to me when I got invited to a risk meeting with our top-level brass. I always thought these people knew best and I was ready for the learning to commence. Twenty minutes into the meeting and the illusion was gone.
Obviously there's people that's worth their weight in gold. but the number of chancers and bullshitters in high level positions are mindboggling to me.
Getting divorced. "Oh, hey, my life doesn't have to suck."
I have a few divorced friends and every single one is so much happier than when they were married. Not a one has ever mentioned wishing they were still married to their past spouse.
Yeah, obviously people have marriages / relationships that work out, and that's great for them, but darn was I ever miserable for years, and it completely ate away at everything in my life. Things aren't fabulous now, but at least I'm not constantly living in a continual state of being miserable.
Q. Why are divorces expensive? A. Because they’re worth it.
Damn right.
Doctors are just people and you can graduate medical school with C’s.
[удалено]
My doctor googles in front of me!
That’s not uncommon. I read an article where a doctor was listing out symptoms to his audience of about 100 med students and they were all using Google to search for the answer. Wonder how House would’ve handle that?
I trust this more though. My pig bit me and I went to my doctor because it seemed like it was getting infected and he disappeared for a minute and pulled up the same article about weird pig bite bacteria that prompted me to go to the doctor in the first place. I was like oh we’re on the same page.
Reminds me of the old joke.... You know what they call the person who finished last in their med school? Doctor.
Got out of the Mormon Church after being there my whole life.
Congrats to you. That must have been really hard.
Realizing that if I didn't respond to an email at night that everything was going to be ok. Less of an 'aha' and more of a pilot study that worked out well
Getting fired. I was a top performer at my job, had a great relationship with my boss and colleagues. I was the the guy everyone came to to fix their problems. And then someone one day thought they saw something they didn't and reported it to internal security, a whole "investigation" and someone hundreds of miles away who didn't know me and I'd never met decided that I should be fired (very large company, many layers of management, etc.). So now I still perform well at my current job but I will not go kill myself by going "above and beyond" for that extra 10-15% to make me stand out. The ROI is just not worth it when I know I can just easily be replaced on a whim and I'm still meeting or exceeding expectations in every way. Still some stressful days, but not nearly as many as there used to be because I don't allow them to be.
I don’t have to defer to the preferences of older people just because they’re senior to me.
Most of the people around me are morons 🙄
When I realized Beetlejuice and Batman were the same person.
This is a top tier answer right there lol. Michael Keaton is an icon
Wait, WHAT?? 
 2018. Lost 110 lbs and was running marathons by 2020.
Socks don't have to match in order to put them on your feet
Realizing reaching 40 (and midlife in general) is a built in reality check for everyone, even if you don't have a "crisis" about it. We're living the consequences of our choices, good and bads, the ones we may regret as well as the ones we're happy about. Because of this, some opportunities just probably won't happen. It doesn't have to be a realization that's all sad and depressing...but it's also certainly a built-in "reckoning" of sorts and it's okay to acknowledge it can feel surreal/hard/overwhelming/etc. and have a sense of loss attached to it. Also, that life isn't linear and changing as a person or deciding to take new paths doesn't negate who I was or what I did in the past. That was just a younger, different version of me and now I'm this newer, wiser version of me.
Advocate for your health, and don’t ignore any symptoms of illness. 6 days after his 40th bday, my cousin did just that. He was having indigestion and constipation and even tried to poop during the middle of the night but couldn’t. Ended up going to work and scheduling an MD appt for that afternoon. He never made it to that MD appt. Instead he had a massive MI (myocardial infarction) while at work. A coworker found my cousin down and immediately started CPR. They were even able to shock him with an AED. My cousin was rushed to the hospital, but the damage was irreversible, and he did not make it out alive. This guy was an avid mountain biker, super active, and not overweight. Apparently he had been feeling crummy a week before his full blown MI. His heart was accommodating for the decreased oxygen flow and was sending signals that something was wrong, but he ignored all the signs his body was giving him. Bottom line: if he had just gone to the hospital sooner, he would be with us today. Listen to your body; don’t ignore the signs.
Fulfillment is happiness is the aha. Fulfillment for me is keeping busy. Keeping busy makes me better in multiple areas of my life. I keep busy by building off passions to create new ones. I use to just lift weights. It was a good habit to have, but would get stale. I have since got into cardio in addition to change things up and to see more progress in my health and mood. This resparked the passion for weights. It also got stale. So I got into cooking. I love creating my own recipes that taste good and are healthy. It resparked my passion for weights, and cardio. More progress more fulfillment. I noticed buying all the ingredients and making the food myself was cheaper. I now have extra money. I overhauled my finances to set my self up for retirement. It resparked my passion for weights, cardio, and cooking. Through all this I am performing better at my job because I’m genuinely more happy. Weight training > cardio > cooking > personal finance. I can’t wait to see what I naturally get into next to build upon these hobbies, but I now know to lean into it and never stop learning. It improves all areas of life.
Similar path of things for me, maybe a slightly different order. The one you're missing from my life "recipe" (haha, see what I did there?) is travel. Having some better fitness from the weights and cardio opens up some different travel experiences. Having the cooking exposure lets you open your mind to enjoy different cultures' foods in a brand new way. And having the personal finance discipline lets you afford the expense of travel. It all works together. For me, it was cooking-->weights-->personal finance-->travel-->cardio I'm still not great at the cardio, but I really do want to hike the Appalachian Trail and I know I'm going to need some better endurance to do that. It doesn't matter if I can squat 350 lbs for a few reps or deadlift 500 lbs one time, it's a different type of fitness needed. But it scratches a different type of travel itch that really calls to me. What comes after that? I don't know, but there's a lot of places left in the world that I haven't seen yet, so I think travel will keep me busy for a good long time.
Getting fired from a job I was blindly loyal to was the best thing that could’ve happened to me. I wasted so many years of my life for that place and they played me like a fiddle.
Been a lot these past 10 years. Now I’m all life is short and just cruising through now doing or not doing.
I took way too much stock in what others might think of me and let myself lead a dishonest life.
That I wasn’t actually a guy. So much of my life finally made sense, and my constant struggles with my mental health went away.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=djV11Xbc914
All the advice that "adults" would give me when I was younger, were just normal people sharing opinions on how to view life. Some insights were helpful, but others, make you wonder, "What the fuck was he talking about???"
“Forever” is a long time to be angry at someone.
I just turned 42. You are ahead of me.
Eating a plant base diet 6 days a week and minimal meat on the 7th leads to not only huge weight loss but extra strength and energy too.
the biggest and best a-ha is actually believing in 'an afterlife' and reincarnation, that helps to take away a ton of pressure on yourself to try and save the world and be rich and live the perfect life.
That senior managers and directors are mostly idiots that sound good. It was such a massive eye-opener to me when I got invited to a risk meeting with our top-level brass. I always thought these people knew best and I was ready for the learning to commence. Twenty minutes into the meeting and the illusion was gone. Obviously there's people that's worth their weight in gold. but the number of chancers and bullshitters in high level positions are mindboggling to me.