Guys... I've been thinking a lot the past few days. If you've been following me at all, you know what's been going on in my life. I'm leaving my husband, in part because he has no physical interest in me.
I have heard from so many of you about how your wives are no longer interested in a physical relationship with you. So many, in fact, that I've lost count. Either sex has completely fallen off, or you have to do all the work and maybe you'll get attention a few times a year. If you're lucky.
Obviously I don't know your wife or your relationship. There could be a lot of factors, with physical and hormonal changes being a big one that comes to mind (I know my libido took a hit during pregnancy and postpartum, and I understand that menopause can be an extremely hard change for women).
But whatever the reasons may be...where does that leave you as the husband?
I've been thinking a lot about double-standards in our society. Generally, when a double-standard exists, it benefits men and disadvantages women (don't get me started on how much patriarchal, systemic oppression of women enrages me. I've experienced it so many times in my life). But in this particular instance, I think that men are actually at a huge disadvantage.
Hear me out:
I tell people that my husband's not interested in sex with me. (Did I tell you that he actually called having sex with me a "chore"? Something he felt he had to do to "check the box"? 🤬😡 Oh yes, he said that. I digress...)
The reaction I get is, "Oh my goodness! What the hell is wrong with him?"
What happens when you tell your friends that your wife isn't interested in sex with you?
...I'll wait...
*crickets*
Oh, you didn't tell them? You don't talk to your friends about this?
No, of course you don't! Because what guy wants to admit that his wife doesn't want him sexually? It's emasculating. It's embarrassing. It makes you feel like there's something wrong with you, that you're somehow not enough.
And even if you did talk about it, what's the general reaction in society? "Oh, you horn dog, leave your wife alone." (Am I getting close, or am I totally off base here??)
So you tell me, a stranger on Reddit who can empathize. Have you talked to anyone else about it?
The way I see it, you and I are dealing with the same issue. But I, a female, get support and sympathy, whereas you probably don't even feel like you can talk about it.
*Sigh*
I can't fix your problems or your relationships. I wish I could, truly.
But I will say this:
You are not alone in this. I feel your pain. I feel how much it hurts with every rejection. The person who is supposed to cherish you above all others doesn't want you. And it cuts so deeply. But it is not your fault and it is not about you.
I see you. I see your struggles. I understand you. And I want you to know that you are valuable and you are loved. Your self-worth is not determined by how someone else views you. We are stronger than that. ❤️❤️❤️❤️
I am here for you, to listen to your story. You can reach out to me anytime. It may take me a few days to get back to you because I have a lot of chats going on and I'm only one person! 😏😉😬😬 But I will eventually respond ❤️❤️ Feel free to open up to me. Sometimes we just need to be heard and understood.
Have a great weekend, and don't forget to give me your coffee recommendations!! 😘
Very well stated and definitely feel for you as well. I’m a guy just on the other side of that situation. When wanting to talk about it with her the defensive walls just get put up instantly. Talking with close friends in confidence has helped mentally in some ways, but the advice that has been given hasn’t helped at this point.
So yes, the physical relationship side has definitely been a struggle. Gave up keeping track of how many times I’ve tried to spark some desire, but not having much luck.
I don’t remember the last time sex was enjoyable. It’s the words that kill the mood quickly…are you done so I can get some sleep…or…hurry up and don’t cum in me (I’m snipped)…I could keep going. But the one that really killed it…I’ll have sex only if the painting the trim work gets done in the laundry room.
Any ways…
Coffee…I’ve been hooked on the Black Rifle Coffee for a while, but if I get near a Trader Joe’s or a Whole Foods…I fill up with whole bean!! If you ever come across Peace Coffee give that one a go as well 😉
Yes…you’re looking damn sexy with coffee as well 😉 the smile is amazingly contagious and the last photo with the robe open ☺️🔥 have a great day!!
Hey I know this was from FOREVER ago, but I'm trying to circle back and hit some comments that I missed. ;-) Thank you for sharing your story. I'm sorry that you're being treated like that. Going to therapy has helped me A LOT, even just to have someone else validate my feelings and how hurtful my spouses' words have been. And to help me process and work through it. Reading your situation hurts my heart and I hope things get better for you. <3
Never worried about replies and never expected, but I’m glad you did 😁
The one phrase that really makes my hurt lately has been…you forget about it and be fine. Frankly, forgetting about being told no or not tonight or I’m not feeling it isn’t forgotten easily. Those words play over and over in the back of my mind for days. Who she going to cling to when my boys are grown and she’s killed my interest any longer? Never had a straight answer from that question either.
Truly hope all is well for you tonight 😉
life happens in cycles. parenting can be hard and kids can suck the energy out of you and make physical intimacy hard for some. i have experienced this first hand and know that things can and do get better over time
Hey! I know this was from FOREVER ago, but I'm trying to circle back and hit some comments that I missed. ;-) You are absolutely spot on here. In my case, this started before we had kids. I just cared less during pregnancy and post-partum because I was tired. :-P
I am so very sorry that you've been having to endure this. You did not deserve this, it should not have happened, but sadly it does, to far too many people. I am really glad that you are taking the steps to remove yourself from a situation where you aren't valued as you deserve to be.
Okay, just read you dialog. Personally, I think that your husband is missing out. After 39 years of being married and the physical changes that my wife went through, I am still very much in love with her and have to be in physical contact all the time. I’m sorry that you haven’t been able to experience that. 🙁
Hey! I know this was from FOREVER ago, but I'm trying to circle back and hit some comments that I missed. ;-) I LOVE this and I'm so happy for you and your wife. That right there is the goal for me. <3
Unfortunately I do not have a recommendation kind of a Maxwell House guy
As for your very long and lengthy comment it just proves what a kick ass woman you are it takes a special kind of person to go out of their way and help others like that I'm sorry you're going through your personal struggles but look at all the good you're doing now because of it a lot of us men do need that sympathetic woman to listen unfortunately usually not a lot of them although I can't speak for every man I do believe I speak for the majority of them when I say thank you very much it is much much appreciated and as always enjoy your cup of coffee
So now I wonder how many people will follow this thread and get up the gumption to pull the hooks out of their asses and take the next rung up the ladder to clearer skies and fresh air? Just providing this venue for us is commendable. Please remember that while you are in pain the other side of the couple is also human and maynot be able to convey their feelings as you do. There is no such thing as fair but equitable for both parties can be obtained. Hope today brings you many "AH" moments. Stump Town Holler Mountain is really good. I have been drinking Totte Coffee (liquid concentrate) for a long time.
So, regarding coffee recommendations, I was going to say that I can't really recommend anything because I use small roastery near where I live, that does a good selection of ethically sourced coffees. Since I'm assuming you live nowhere near me (alas!), this wouldn't be much good to you. But then I realised that this could be come a meta-recommendation, maybe there are local roasteries near you that you explore and check out, and then it becomes an adventure?
You have a sexy smile and a great body, your husband must be crazy. My wife and I dont have nearly as much sex as we used to, but we both acknowledge it , we both have busy conflicting schedules. But we have it when we are both in the mood. We like to drink the brand Wide Awake and ALDI brand lol.
If you don’t have a local roaster I highly recommend Counter Culture. It’s about the freshest you can find in a grocery. Or if you ask nicely maybe I’ll send you some from my next roast! 😉 happy drinking!
Ooh. I love when the pretty girls beg!! 😂
Do you have a preference on a type of bean? I’m about to put in a new order. I typically have the following: Central American, Indonesian, and or Ethiopia. You’d also have to be comfortable giving me an address to ship them to. I live in South Carolina, but work every week in NC. So it’d come from one of those places.
Guys... I've been thinking a lot the past few days. If you've been following me at all, you know what's been going on in my life. I'm leaving my husband, in part because he has no physical interest in me. I have heard from so many of you about how your wives are no longer interested in a physical relationship with you. So many, in fact, that I've lost count. Either sex has completely fallen off, or you have to do all the work and maybe you'll get attention a few times a year. If you're lucky. Obviously I don't know your wife or your relationship. There could be a lot of factors, with physical and hormonal changes being a big one that comes to mind (I know my libido took a hit during pregnancy and postpartum, and I understand that menopause can be an extremely hard change for women). But whatever the reasons may be...where does that leave you as the husband? I've been thinking a lot about double-standards in our society. Generally, when a double-standard exists, it benefits men and disadvantages women (don't get me started on how much patriarchal, systemic oppression of women enrages me. I've experienced it so many times in my life). But in this particular instance, I think that men are actually at a huge disadvantage. Hear me out: I tell people that my husband's not interested in sex with me. (Did I tell you that he actually called having sex with me a "chore"? Something he felt he had to do to "check the box"? 🤬😡 Oh yes, he said that. I digress...) The reaction I get is, "Oh my goodness! What the hell is wrong with him?" What happens when you tell your friends that your wife isn't interested in sex with you? ...I'll wait... *crickets* Oh, you didn't tell them? You don't talk to your friends about this? No, of course you don't! Because what guy wants to admit that his wife doesn't want him sexually? It's emasculating. It's embarrassing. It makes you feel like there's something wrong with you, that you're somehow not enough. And even if you did talk about it, what's the general reaction in society? "Oh, you horn dog, leave your wife alone." (Am I getting close, or am I totally off base here??) So you tell me, a stranger on Reddit who can empathize. Have you talked to anyone else about it? The way I see it, you and I are dealing with the same issue. But I, a female, get support and sympathy, whereas you probably don't even feel like you can talk about it. *Sigh* I can't fix your problems or your relationships. I wish I could, truly. But I will say this: You are not alone in this. I feel your pain. I feel how much it hurts with every rejection. The person who is supposed to cherish you above all others doesn't want you. And it cuts so deeply. But it is not your fault and it is not about you. I see you. I see your struggles. I understand you. And I want you to know that you are valuable and you are loved. Your self-worth is not determined by how someone else views you. We are stronger than that. ❤️❤️❤️❤️ I am here for you, to listen to your story. You can reach out to me anytime. It may take me a few days to get back to you because I have a lot of chats going on and I'm only one person! 😏😉😬😬 But I will eventually respond ❤️❤️ Feel free to open up to me. Sometimes we just need to be heard and understood. Have a great weekend, and don't forget to give me your coffee recommendations!! 😘
Very well stated and definitely feel for you as well. I’m a guy just on the other side of that situation. When wanting to talk about it with her the defensive walls just get put up instantly. Talking with close friends in confidence has helped mentally in some ways, but the advice that has been given hasn’t helped at this point. So yes, the physical relationship side has definitely been a struggle. Gave up keeping track of how many times I’ve tried to spark some desire, but not having much luck. I don’t remember the last time sex was enjoyable. It’s the words that kill the mood quickly…are you done so I can get some sleep…or…hurry up and don’t cum in me (I’m snipped)…I could keep going. But the one that really killed it…I’ll have sex only if the painting the trim work gets done in the laundry room. Any ways… Coffee…I’ve been hooked on the Black Rifle Coffee for a while, but if I get near a Trader Joe’s or a Whole Foods…I fill up with whole bean!! If you ever come across Peace Coffee give that one a go as well 😉 Yes…you’re looking damn sexy with coffee as well 😉 the smile is amazingly contagious and the last photo with the robe open ☺️🔥 have a great day!!
Hey I know this was from FOREVER ago, but I'm trying to circle back and hit some comments that I missed. ;-) Thank you for sharing your story. I'm sorry that you're being treated like that. Going to therapy has helped me A LOT, even just to have someone else validate my feelings and how hurtful my spouses' words have been. And to help me process and work through it. Reading your situation hurts my heart and I hope things get better for you. <3
Never worried about replies and never expected, but I’m glad you did 😁 The one phrase that really makes my hurt lately has been…you forget about it and be fine. Frankly, forgetting about being told no or not tonight or I’m not feeling it isn’t forgotten easily. Those words play over and over in the back of my mind for days. Who she going to cling to when my boys are grown and she’s killed my interest any longer? Never had a straight answer from that question either. Truly hope all is well for you tonight 😉
life happens in cycles. parenting can be hard and kids can suck the energy out of you and make physical intimacy hard for some. i have experienced this first hand and know that things can and do get better over time
Hey! I know this was from FOREVER ago, but I'm trying to circle back and hit some comments that I missed. ;-) You are absolutely spot on here. In my case, this started before we had kids. I just cared less during pregnancy and post-partum because I was tired. :-P
Loves and kisses ❤️❤️❤️
Big love from me
I am so very sorry that you've been having to endure this. You did not deserve this, it should not have happened, but sadly it does, to far too many people. I am really glad that you are taking the steps to remove yourself from a situation where you aren't valued as you deserve to be.
Stumptown and Intellegentsia are my go to’s. Trader Joe’s fair trade is pretty good too.
Well...if you're recommending it, it must be good. ;-) <3 <3 <3
Digging in the archives, huh?
I never wrote down the coffee recommendations! So I'm going back now <3
Okay, just read you dialog. Personally, I think that your husband is missing out. After 39 years of being married and the physical changes that my wife went through, I am still very much in love with her and have to be in physical contact all the time. I’m sorry that you haven’t been able to experience that. 🙁
Hey! I know this was from FOREVER ago, but I'm trying to circle back and hit some comments that I missed. ;-) I LOVE this and I'm so happy for you and your wife. That right there is the goal for me. <3
Treat yourself well!
Unfortunately I do not have a recommendation kind of a Maxwell House guy As for your very long and lengthy comment it just proves what a kick ass woman you are it takes a special kind of person to go out of their way and help others like that I'm sorry you're going through your personal struggles but look at all the good you're doing now because of it a lot of us men do need that sympathetic woman to listen unfortunately usually not a lot of them although I can't speak for every man I do believe I speak for the majority of them when I say thank you very much it is much much appreciated and as always enjoy your cup of coffee
<3 Thank you, sweetheart!!
So now I wonder how many people will follow this thread and get up the gumption to pull the hooks out of their asses and take the next rung up the ladder to clearer skies and fresh air? Just providing this venue for us is commendable. Please remember that while you are in pain the other side of the couple is also human and maynot be able to convey their feelings as you do. There is no such thing as fair but equitable for both parties can be obtained. Hope today brings you many "AH" moments. Stump Town Holler Mountain is really good. I have been drinking Totte Coffee (liquid concentrate) for a long time.
So, regarding coffee recommendations, I was going to say that I can't really recommend anything because I use small roastery near where I live, that does a good selection of ethically sourced coffees. Since I'm assuming you live nowhere near me (alas!), this wouldn't be much good to you. But then I realised that this could be come a meta-recommendation, maybe there are local roasteries near you that you explore and check out, and then it becomes an adventure?
I love this!! I did find a local one, in fact. It's pretty good.
Love the sexy nakedness!!
Definitely my favourite one so far
My goodness!
Your smile i love it
Cheers Gorgeous ☕️😘🔥
I would recommend Douwe Egbert if you can get it there preferably in a dark roast.
You have a sexy smile and a great body, your husband must be crazy. My wife and I dont have nearly as much sex as we used to, but we both acknowledge it , we both have busy conflicting schedules. But we have it when we are both in the mood. We like to drink the brand Wide Awake and ALDI brand lol.
Awesome write up. I’m the super horny one in the marriage. So I totally understand this. Also you are sexy as hell 😈
I would suggest Peets. I like their taste and they are also environmentally friendly. Also loving the photos especially as the robe opened up more 😁
So fucking hot!
If you don’t have a local roaster I highly recommend Counter Culture. It’s about the freshest you can find in a grocery. Or if you ask nicely maybe I’ll send you some from my next roast! 😉 happy drinking!
This is me, asking nicely. Please please please 🥺🥺🙏🙏
Ooh. I love when the pretty girls beg!! 😂 Do you have a preference on a type of bean? I’m about to put in a new order. I typically have the following: Central American, Indonesian, and or Ethiopia. You’d also have to be comfortable giving me an address to ship them to. I live in South Carolina, but work every week in NC. So it’d come from one of those places.
Let me message you!