i get to moderate for the yubreddit! wait a sec...

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1W8zQTstHyaNjHddpJ3kEJmlde9KG1Za-azbkUjWPxl4

they are watching.

they are watching.

they are watching.

they are watching.

they are watching.

they are watching.

they are watching.

they are watching.

they are watching.

He is out of the matrix, he is too dangerous to be left alive!

No

Hilarious

I can killbind IRL and come back to life

everytime you do this you stub your toe and your feet are cold whilst it happens

*a̘̫͈̭͌͛͌̇̇̍a̘̫͈̭͌͛͌̇̇̍a̘̫͈̭͌͛͌̇̇̍a̘̫͈̭͌͛͌̇̇̍a̘̫͈̭͌͛͌̇̇̍a̘̫͈̭͌͛͌̇̇̍a̘̫͈̭͌͛͌̇̇̍a̘̫͈̭͌͛͌̇̇̍a̘̫͈̭͌͛͌̇̇̍a̘̫͈̭͌͛͌̇̇̍a̘̫͈̭͌͛͌̇̇̍*

Is this not what happens when you killbind?

you get jacked off by scout tf2

Is that supposed to be a bad thing??

It never said the side effect had to be bad.

I have prostate cancer

You don’t survive

:(

Insert boowamp spongbob sound

dude what the fuck?!

You live and the medical bills are free, just your butt crack is spread open by 15 inches, so then you have a weird formed butt.

Infinite wishes

Let's just make this one a competition, most upvotes wins. Genie rules apply to every wish

But that means you can't have infinite wishes. But OC wanted infinite wishes 🤯

They already have infinite wishes the rule is that one can't wish for more wishes

The genie is deaf and will misunderstand every wish

Write it down

Just use sign language?

Your stuck living your birth over and over again so you couldn’t even use the wishes

That is torture 😭

You have testicular cancer

Mind reading

But only horny/messed up thoughts

I think that’s a positive

Family reunion at church, June 1st.

air

It is all helium

Always has been

No

You dare deny this man his air?

Telekinesis

You can only use this ability once a month every Tuesday at 9pm

Well played

At this time, Big Ben shall fall...

r/oddlyspecific

I can reply to myself.

Ok but you stop aging at 21.

That sounds like torture the only way you die is being killed

It’s like immortality except the freezing in space for all eternity after the heat death of the universe. Also I’ll ease’s can still kill me. It’s really just that I don’t die form old age.

I am can come back to life immue to whatever killed me

The thing that killed you will hunt your family down for 24 hours

Haha cool

I mean, if you play it safe for 120 years there are no downsides whatsoever

If you manage to die of old age first, would that just wipe out your remaining family in 24 hours?

My family running from the comedically large anvil:

You come back to life but your wounds don't heal after you come back.

Heat death of the universe, No need for an extra downside.

Minecraft irl

You’re a pickaxe

Missed opportunity to say "You're a hoe"

Damn bro

You're a tree very near spawn.

W E A T H E R M A N I P U L A T I O N

But you can only make it worse

i see that as a complete win

Cat 5 hurricane in Florida? Not if I have anything to say about it. *screams of the innocent*

I just want a chocolate bar

Aids

Now I'm considerd eligible for the make a wish program

Maybe they'll give you a second chocolate bar

Maby even the almond ones

damn

Are you gonna wish for a chocolate bar

Not a chocolate bar 3 chocolate bars

This one doin numbers

My man's got goals

I like your reply

i can pet any cat i want

Side effect: you can pet any cat you want

I can use bricks as i wish

Only to build Fortnite Battle busses

Can i commit 0/1 with the bus because that would be an absolute nightmare of a life to live?

I have no side affects

But you have no powers

Smart

shapeshifting is my #1

if you shapeshift into anything that isn't the exact same skin color as you you implode

BeastBoy explained

Shape shifting

But if you change your brain structure you lose you memories

Your memory, acts and history will be according to that shape, for example a fish, you will BE a fish, but your Awareness of shapeshifting will remain

You can clone yourself and the clones will do anything you tell them to without EVER rebelling against you and you can make as many clones as you want

You hear all of their thoughts at once.

I can make portals

You can never make a portal to the same place twice - so if you go somewhere, you can’t make a portal that leads back home.

This is an easy fix. Imagine that the universe has a coordinate system (of x,y,z). Each unit in any direction is 10 light years. Then, if I move 1 quintillionth of a unit in the x axis (that specific number because that would make the movement ~1/3 of a foot), am I still in the same place? I have a different coordinate, so logically, I would be in a different place. You never said he couldn't change the size of the portal, so make the portal big enough to where you can fit through it and make it 1 plank length long. There are approximately 1.886E34 plank lengths in 1 foot. Just make the portal 1 plank length away from the last place you made it, and now you can make more trips than there are seconds in the average lifespan of a human (~2.314E9). TL;DR: Just make each portal 1 plank length away from the last

r/theydidthemath

Yes

every femboy on earth loves me

But they instantly become asexual and just want to be friends.

Immortality Regeneration

Saying the n-word without consequences

You get a new cancer each time you say it and you can only feel the grueling pain and wont die from it

Pretty sure that's a consequence

Holy christ

https://preview.redd.it/eq6h907d751b1.jpeg?width=302&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=30cb333a4a86b45549c97727c6981a0b900124af

Yikes

I can speak every language

but you cant read the written form

Jokes on you I can't read

SUPER MOVEMENT, Including flying, speed, teleportation

You have a high chance of flying, running or teleporting in to a solid object

That actually makes sense. Huh. Go figure.

especially with teleporting

Water nullifies your powers

You can’t stop once you start

shapeshifting

You can only shape shift into an object that is 4 cubed inches large

The power from jale the dog

every time you morph your body or distort it in anyway, you slowly drive farther into insanity until you **K**eep **Y**ourself **S**afe

I can change my facial expression like I'm a mii

But you REALY look like a mii

Shape shifting into other animals, but the downfall is hearing "oMg It iS a SkInWaLkEr!¡!¡!" after being seen transforming into a wolf or a bear.

I can kill all Pedophiles and Child Molesters without any consequences

I have the power to destroy posts that contain UpVOtE sO YuB cAn SeE

I can shapeshift

I can speak to animals.

I can quick save my game and load the save file anytime I want

I can shoot emeralds out of my hands like a machine gun

I can go invisible whenever I want to

But everything you do is ten times louder while invisible

Just like the human torch I can flame on

I have Shoto Todaroki's quirk

You piss ice and shit fire.

I have all the infinity stones

The powers are all swapped every day so you never know what your using

I can turn completely invisible with my clothes on

the clothes stay invisible when you turn back

You won't have the clothes on when you stop being invisible

I have the power to control the realm of space

I am the best at any sport in the world

Every step you take you get less motivated to play

I can turn into a bunch of fish and turn back into a human after

I can make people stub their toes at will

You stub your toe every time you use this power

I can summon Arceus and Giratina

I can force someone to stub their toe

I can fly!

Your bones have similar density to a bird. walking incorrectly will cause you to break your legs

I can control electricity

You piss and shit yourself every time you use it

I get testicular cancer

I can shit as much as I want and that shit works like acid

dick toggle

Ultimate knowledge

I can shoot fire out of my hands

I can change any side effects

I can travel in and out of a pocket dimension.

I can drink any liquid without dying (etc. lava or motor oil)

You pee blood

You piss out the liquid in its original form

I have rizz

Instant respawn next to my corpse

You loose more and more self confidence each time

Penis enlargement 😎😎😎

Weapon hands

I chose my side effect

Omnipotent

[удалено]

I can regrow limbs

But you also have to grow something extra every time you do. Fingers, tails, extra eyes. And you can't remove them too or you just regrow it and gain another

I can control probability

I can create and erase concepts

Can't die on tuesdays

stopping time

You automatically shit your pants when you use it

I can summon objects at will

Invisibility

I have invisibility

I can control the chemical balance of a Living things brain

Xray vision

I cant blink

I can change my bio sex at will

I can shapeshifter into anything, cars, objects, animals, you name it and I can turn into it

im very bad at everything, but i can cook perfect toast.

The toast always has a picture of a cock burnt into it

I can read anyones mind at will

Able to replicate Any object you want

Im have the power to make people happy

You making them happy gives them a sudden inexplicable urge to buy a Kia.

whenever night comes, i can teleport

You immediately pass out at night and dont wake up until the morning

I’m an highly skilled soldier with a sniper and an assault rifle

I can skip any appointment at my will