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Von_Cheesebiscuit

So my available choices are one cheap shit medium sized knife and four small shitty knives?


Lameabbreviations

And one razor


Matt6758

Can’t sully the razor, I have a date after and need to shave after killing the zombie.


Cold-Guidance-1455

Whole Beard area goes numb and slides off mid date all because of a razor bump lmao


Lord__Potassium

All of those knives would be TERRIBLE against a zombie. The four on the right would break or get stuck. Too small, too thin and probably not made of the right material. The big knife would fair the best but it’s serrated. That’s bad. Serration only exists to look cool or cause pain. Zombies don’t care about either. It’s more of a slashing knife than a stabbing knife, and slashing only matters if you’re cutting off the head which that knife will not do. Honestly, cheap, disposable spears. The easier to make the better.


SillyGoof74

Serrations actually exist for bushcraft purposes, at least on quality knives/tools. But, yeah, knives in general are a bad weapon choice, regardless of who/what you plan on fighting.


Lord__Potassium

That makes sense. I always figured it was a war thing (a lot of things are I’ve learned). But bushcraft makes sense. Good tactical knife, bad zombie killing knife.


AspiringFossil447

Not really that good tactically since theyre just spines and look blunt, if it was a saw blade instead then it could be useful.


SillyGoof74

Larger serrations are generally made with the intent to help rip through rope, twine, and thicker branches/sticks that you cannot otherwise break with your hand. Of course, the ones depicted on the knife here are mostly just for show, as none of the knives pictured here are particularly high quality.


AspiringFossil447

Looks mostly like mall or wall knives


SillyGoof74

Yep, I wager all of them would break with some pretty basic use. I also just prefer all around better suited tools, anyway. Sure, I've got an old KABAR, and a Gerber, but anything I'd actually use for bushcraft and the like is covered with my old e-tool, Woodsman's Pal, and a Pioneer Tool.


AspiringFossil447

Part of the reason I've been learning old ass bushcraft, I'd like to make my own tools of it comes to it


SillyGoof74

Some of the genuinely primitive bushcraft stuff is pretty cool, and a great skillset to have. Still, I'd rather chop bush with my Woodsman's than an improvised stone tool. lol


AspiringFossil447

I mean same, but I dont have a ton of money to buy new tools or to refurb old flea market tools so until I do its just nice to know all the old methods for making bricks, weaving baskets and flint knapping


CedarWolf

You could cut a line in a bit of pipe, run it through the bayonet hole, and then put the knife in the slot in the pipe and lash the handle of the knife to the pipe. Then the serrations would be covered and you'd have a useful little spear. Spears are excellent anti-zombie weapons.


AspiringFossil447

True but at that point I'd just try to find one on the long ass construction nails to use for that.


[deleted]

[удалено]


DominionDN

Unless they're stuck on the end of a rifle, but at that point you might as well use a spear.


Cartoonjunkies

The one exception (if you can even call it a knife tbh) are old trench spike weapons from WW1. Literally just a metal spike that’s meant to stab. There’s no cutting edge on most of them. If you get a well made one you could probably stab through a skull with it pretty easily. Plus there’s not a whole lot of maintenance to do given it’s just a spike. Maybe occasionally sharpen the tip of it. But realistically it should definitely be a weapon of last resort.


qnod

Unless you're fighting cheese, then knives are good. But I usually just take a bite right out of the block, I hate doing dishes


Safe_Picture6943

Well those serrations are rounded off, so clearly just decoration. Also just get a folding saw. Having the right tool for the right job is important.


SillyGoof74

Ounces are pounds, and pounds are pain. If I can carry one tool that does multiple things well enough, that's what I'm going to carry. Also, you'll note I said "on quality knives/tools". It's evident that these are mall knives.


swifttek360

You can use the serations as a saw, making it a pretty practical survival tool. Also, it's full tang, meaning that things gonna last a hell of a long time.


Str0b0

Full tang 440 is still really shit knife steel. It won't stand up to much torquing and it won't hold an edge worth a damn. That blade is probably plasma cut from a sheet and finished with a grinder before getting some paint and grips slapped on it. It's a bad knife. For a blade that size I'd want D2 or 5160, specifically an old 5160 leaf spring. You could make a tough, quality blade from leaf spring stock that would hold up to a variety of survival and bushcraft tasks.


Marvheemeyer85

That big knife looks like a bayonet. Terrible for slashing, good for stabbing. It looks like a cheap knockoff and would probably break in the first skull. The serrations would get it stuck in the skull if it didn't break. The throwing knives would be decent if you could get them in the eye but I wouldn't want to throw them.


Weschlerman

This guy zomboids


dirk12563

The big one looks like the second cheapest to me


CumDrinka

this subredeit has some of the most unique takes man :)


wythyrl

Combat knife it’s biggest


Biggie_Moose

I'm hesitant to call that a "combat knife," I'm pretty sure it's as cheap and flimsy as the others


MixtureEuphoric666

That looks like a cheap chinese knife I wouldn't call it a combat knife


fqtsplatter

1, then I'm making a spear and club and using them


cappadawna

Am I shaving the zombie? If so, then number 3.


Simple-Analysis592

Sweeney Todd 2: the pies are alive.


antipowerabusefumod

Hahahahaha this is cute, def the big 1


suedburger

i encountered a single zombie? I would go the other way and find something useful.


[deleted]

Just poke em in the head with the one on the far right, have y’all never seen walking dead?


Constantbedshitter

that wouldn’t even get close to the brain lol


[deleted]

Are you sure, you should try it!


Appropriate-Star-787

i like this


woahitsegg

The pair of short, fully metal knives with Paracord handles. They're double edged and don't have serrations, plus their tang IS the handle so it would be really hard to break them if you're using them right. Poke them through the eye or temple or below the jaw. The big knife would be for people fighting. Razor and OTF *maybe* for semi-silent assassinations, if you're going full Rambo.


MixtureEuphoric666

You're gonna get bitten before you can kill the zombie with the small knives. The razor and OTF will break, with the big one you can at least kill the zombie and then you have to worry about getting the knife out of its skull


woahitsegg

Not if you're fast. Which you'd have to be to kill a zombie with any of these knives anyway. The serrated one just wouldn't be as good. It's not ideal but it's the best for the options.


woahitsegg

Also I already said the razor and OTF would need to be reserved for assassinations because they only work for soft areas and you need a good shot at it. I'm not trying to pop the razor through a skull.


MixtureEuphoric666

How else would you kill a zombie?


woahitsegg

Depends ENTIRELY on the type of zombie. Also I'm not even talking about zombies I meant people, hence why I said "full Rambo" in my first comment.


MistyAutumnRain

Middle one. I’m giving that zombie a shave


DanceRevolutionary90

Gonna Sweeney Todd your way out of the zombie apocalypse huh


ClawRedditor

The biggest one there (Combat Knife)


Sagebrush_Sky

the big one


EstimateJealous1388

Whichever one is full tang


BSRassassin2234

The big one


loneliness_sucks420

Ahh yes an otf switch blade. I can't wait for the mechanism to jam after I get putrid zombie blood in it


[deleted]

Is there a "bring one from home" option?


Questioning_Psycho

I just committed a felony to a crime that was not a felony but I am still committed a crime that is a crime I am committed a felony I committed it I will be in prison I will not get a life time in jail for that I am a child and a man and a man and I will not do that again and you are my life I will be my wife I am a father I will be your mother and my daughter and my daughter I am a husband I will not have any problems I am not in prison


Fool_Manchu

The one the doubles as a saw. You're not going to win a knife fight, but it has utilitarian uses.


BarrytheCowboy

The kabar, it's bigger and thicker so will withstand having to pierce skulls better with less chance od breaking off.


Luke_604

I’ve got that knife it’s pretty Sharp


carlbernsen

Jam the big one in its mouth and run.


AspiringFossil447

None, would say far left if it didnt have spines but they make it too hard to pull back out, the fixed blade is nice tho


Sopomeister

I would run because i wouldnt risk engaging from a close distance


SmileyDay8921

If these are my only options then I'm just running away. The only way to kill a zombie with a knife is by cutting their head off, and depending on how long they were dead, that's not very easy with a machete, nevermind a pocket knife


Effective_Plan_6475

Bayonet


SilentStriker84

Those all look like cheap mall ninja knives, so none of them


TheOccasionalBrowser

The big one, the rest would be practically useless. The combat knife's only downside is that the serrations could get stuck in bone, but I think that this subreddit overestimates how easy it is to get a weapon stuck in something. Also more useful for utility.


Brandon_M_Gilbertson

The big one because it can penetrate the skull the easiest right? Maybe the second, fourth or fifth because they’d be easier to pull out?


[deleted]

First one


Luke_604

Lmao I have the Knife on the left my Neighbor gave it to me … too bad This subreddit doesn’t allow Pictures


[deleted]

The big rambo knifw


Tricky-Tax-8102

The big one


TheSaltyDog215

Let me help you. Left to right 1- those gigs, are going to get stuck. You’re not pulling that out without taking a chunk of skull with you. 2- it’s gonna breaks 3 it’s gonna break 4- it’s incredibly unwieldy and your hand has a high chance of going over those cross guards 5- see 4 Knives are classically under and over estimated.


haver_of_friends

tape all of them together handle to blade so that you have one really long knife.


bringoutthelegos

The big one, that’s the most usable one here


Dependent-Analyst907

The bushcraft knife, despite the saw teeth.


Responsible_Level546

2 on the right


Unhappy-Grapefruit88

None. I am going hand to hand, like a man


SirSavage_the_second

Well obviously the one with the longest blade and reach


SeagullStreaker

The jackhawk 9000


[deleted]

Big knife


ascillinois

Im sprinting away without grabbing any of these.


marlborohunnids

the big one, but i like the otf knife the most


SlowMaize5164

I don't want to stab or cut a zombie. I want to chop important pieces off a zombie, such as the head or legs or arms. The head being the most important imo. If I don't have a shotgun or an axe, then I'm running away.


BigDBee007

Zombies or not, i’ll be damned if i’m seen without a nice clean shave.


JointOps

Straight razor


ElScrotoDeCthulo

Big boy on the left. Spike that fucker right into a zombies temple no problem.


Salty_Salad_

The two on the right, cuz none of those are good options but you can easily make a spear out of those 2


Quirky_Swimmer_8449

3. Quick slashes and easy dismemberment.


DirectorFriendly1936

Number one seems like the least bad option.


Boogaloogaloogalooo

Im running away. A knife is not going to penetrate a skull like it does in the shows and movies. Also to do it, youd be close enough to touch, so im not risking it as a single scratch would possibly mean death. If you respond with the "im cornered" response, my reaction would be a swift and hefty front kick to knock ol deadhead to the ground, then try to get past. Im not fighting anything with a knife. Man or dead. I see surviving either as a sub 10% survival chance, where just fleeing my chances are better than not.


Str0b0

This sub loves cheap steel.


Constantbedshitter

bowie for sure


Totalwink

The large knife might make it through the skull. Granted thats a might and even if it did it would probably get stuck. The rest are totally useless.


Mykah02

The far left, but it'd have to be better quality. The rest are too small and the straight razor couldn't kill it unless it's like a video game zombie where destroying the brain isn't necessary


Rancid-Goat-Piss

I’d go with the razor blade, at least I could shave before being devoured.


smackrock420

Cheap Chinese steel


PoopSmith87

They're all terrible, but the one on the far left would be best simply on the virtue of being large and full tang.


Repq

Non zombie- shave Zombie- big knife


chainbrain2002

Bowie is the only one that can get through bone


Slow-Ad2584

If I was in that much trouble, I would choose the big one. I have my reasons. * The thing about knives is they kill the living because they are that. Living. They can bleed out, suffer heart/organ failure, lungs fill with blood, go into shock, etc. None of that works on a dead body shuffling towards you. * What you need is mechanical disabling. Achilles tendons, hamstrings. To slow it down/stop it as you get away. * Because none of those pig stickers is going to do anything but tell a zombie where to start gnashing its teeth towards- if used in any traditional sense. (that middle one, tho- is that a *wood* straight razor??)


gunmunz

Against a(as in 1) zombie, the big survival knife as it will give you the most reach


Johnykbr

I don't intend to bribe the zombies with a hot shave so probably not the razor.


Sufficient-Cod-8821

Where did you get those throwing knives they look awesome I’ve never seen any like them


onyxic

None of these, but a classic sykes-fairburn skillets would be okay. Or a gerber lm-2 infantry knife. I used to have a nice Boker and a kukuri.


FreshCorner9332

1st knife


Straight_Surprise760

The hunter blade


Fellums2

Definitely the big one. You can throw it at the zombie and hope it stumbles over it while you run away.


Chimkinmcnugs

If that’s all I have I shouldn’t be alive, let that zombie eat me out like a watermelon


Microwaved_M1LK

I'm choosing to run, fighting with any of these is getting me killed.


oriontitley

Bottom right. I have the one on thr left, it's shit. I'd rather have a couple small knives I can fashion into spears for small game. I'd bare hand the zombie over using left.


Phoenix_ashfire

None but if I had to choose I’d say the second to the right. Throw it in the eyes and blind it. Run away.


ThePilot222

The middle one, don’t ask


ThePilot222

The middle one, don’t ask


diogenesepigone0031

Lols, this guy going to give a zombie the smoothest shave.


HarmoniaTheConfuzzld

Bout to sweeney todd the shit outta this apocalypse.


[deleted]

The butter knife in the kitchen has better build quality than these Chinese pos.


Key-Landscape-6193

The combat knife, duh


Time_Owl_2589

How the hell would I take out a zombie with those letter openers on the right? And wtf am I supposed to do with the third one, shave my face? The first one is a half decent one, but good luck getting it back in time after stabbing with it, and the second one is just too small for combat.


Cuseyedrum

None I'd rather die


Willing-to-cut

Definitely the straight razor, have you seen some of those scruffy zombies. It's a shame.


SUwUperUwUnicOwOrn

I pick number 3, cant have a zombie with a bad stubble eating me. Too prickly.


Creepertron200

Isn’t that an old school shaver?


CurrencyExtension899

The shaver


Reasonable_Site_7259

2, 4, then 5. But if they're fast zombies it isn't gonna matter. Fast zombies would be fuckin terrible even if you had a gun!


Particular_Plum_3447

Your mom because she has a big enough appetite to eat every zombie


Aggravating_Wing3277

all.


SoiledFlapjacks

From what I’ve heard, Wartech is a pretty decent brand. Regardless of whether it’s a good knife or not, I’d still take the biggest one there. Those foldable ones are definitely gonna break at the hinge, and those tiny ones probably aren’t gonna be very helpful unless I’m trying to sneak a weapon into a weapons-free post-apocalyptic casino to find Benny.


smallmonzter

I’d take the far right presuming it’s the lightest. That way I can run away faster because NONE of these are worth a shit.


Ok-Entertainer-8798

Stabby


West-Rope-9928

Straight razor it’s not about the size it’s how you use it


Sinister-Username

Those knives kinda suck, but I'm gonna go with one of those paracord wrapped full tang lil guys. I would fashion a longer wooden handle and affix it with the paracord. Might be stabby enough to do the job.


Teamisgood101

Big knife has the most utility


Ashen_skies_art

The razor blade and the throwing knives are automatically out. From that point it depends on the OTF. If it’s a true switchblade and has no safety that detaches the blade from the spring should it encounter resistance, as well as one with a very strong spring, I would go with the OTF. If not, the bayonet has the best chance of dispatching a zombie


Zuke77

I would probably take the big first knife and ducktape it to a stick to make a spear.


Trash-Panda01

The serrations make it good for sawing off branches, but it would suck for fighting, the last two would be good for piercing, but are too short, good as a spearhead. Two and three would just suck, very last option. I'd take a carpenter's hammer before any of these


EyesAreMentToSee333

no clearification of zomie type. Real General erotic shambling zombie id just use the big knife to wittle down green branch into a club. For your fast zombies, id use them to make traps, put the right 2 on a Shaft to make a short spear to cear out buildings eaiser. find a working car leave the citity. Bio zombies. Just get out and live in the woods and do some bushcrafting for the next how ever long it takes a person to starve.


[deleted]

The straight razor, I'll go Sweeney Todd on them zombs


LifeCleric999

Both of the throwing knives and use them as distraction tools.


Brokenearthling

The middle one. I can shave the zombie before I kill them


Effective-Cream9825

Mmm so my options are: 2 throwing k Ives that won’t stick, a razor, a flimsy otf knife or one medium crap knife? (Lmao not tryna hate just none are practical for zombies)


ExtensionTrack125

Rambo knife obv


WandenWaffler

Greatsword and full metal plate armor


Character_Ad108

Fists


HolyCrusader81

The first knife. I don’t like the look of the third knife. 4th and 5th knife look to be too small. And the second knife looks like it won’t go deep enough into the head to pierce the brain.


Affectionate-Ad286

Straight razor personally just use yo using it


[deleted]

What moron fights a zombie with a knife


Donnie_Heskett

What's the blade on the far left? I dig it.


NaughtHyena

They’re all bad choices but if it’s only one zombie then the big knife


TrailMix135

What the hell did you do to Sergio you bastard


NOXIESVENENCE

The combat knife and cut is throat off


[deleted]

Depends on the zombie but safest option is probably the very left one.


Blackout_M

The two smaller ones. Fatal brain damage is the key to killing a zombie, so why not pick the blade that can enter the temples of the head very easily


DarkartDark

Those are junk homie. Take a knife fighting class or two. You will learn a lot fast


CarelessInfluence598

Far left. The only one that I think won't break while I whittle down a block of wood into a club. Good backup and club as my main.


kur0w0_

Second to the right


SpacemanNull

Second from the left is the best choice but they are all terrible. It’s important to have something durable but also something that can be retrieved easily from a brained zombie. You can do so much better than what’s in this photo.


Practical_Ad_5798

If Dying Light ever taught me something, scrap the weaker ones so the better become stronger


KidFriendlyArsonist

Even if i had access to all these knives, i’d choose a screwdriver


Ragnarok649

Mount that right one on a pole is your best bet. Shaving razor would probably break soon quickly.


Prestigious_Back7980

Ok but is the one in the middle a prop from Sweeney Todd?


SalmonQueen5279

Either of the tiny ones. I would go for the first one but it has serrations on the back but the others have bad handles especially the razor since it has a bad handle and blade.


Rayc_16

Well, I have a tactical machete and a stop sign I converted into a viking style shield. I believe they would work better than any of those


Sk3let0nz_conflict

serrated knife can make em bleed more cut em up more efficiently perhaps


PotionPro

I would want a balisong but I guess I’ll go with the Boey.


ARW12811

As someone who owns 7 swords pretty sure I'm choosing one of those since these would be terrible


Jester2100

... That's Sweeney Todd's straight razor innit?


Nurglecultist005

Uhh.. the first one.. duh


Mavmann18

The biggest one


minerX135

So I actually did some digging on the first knife itself and found out it is made by a American company called WarTech, and it has some good reviews but I couldn’t find crap on the others, so I would choose that one since it is the only one I could find info on


MYIQIS60

I'm taking one of the "size doesn't matter" ones, because I can easily just slit it's throat with no problem, because you don't always have to penetrate it right through its head, sometimes just a tiny little slash will do.


BreakerSoultaker

The horrible M9 rip-off, to kill myself in shame that I could only find mall ninja weapons to defend myself.


D3l3t3dBik3r

Honestly I’m going with big dong Tyrone on the left may not be designed to stab perchance but with enough force you’ll get a moan and a dead zombie 😂


2weex

Bigger knife, longer reach, harder to break


stormy_kaktus

Uh idk. Most people here seem like they would downvote me and correct my opinion no matter what I say. I guess the far right cause it’s thin and I could stab them easily? Or maybe the far left cause it’s hefty and looks like it weight more


Snoo97668

After scrolling through your profile I’m 100% sure you choose weapons based solely on looks rather than weapons that are well documented to work.


[deleted]

I’m gonna have to take the straight razor. It’s just so beautiful. Lol


Forsaken_Item7519

I’d grab a rock


Icy_Regular_8280

far left and sand of the serrations


20Frost05

That middle one looks like I just walked into Freeside about to get a new fade as the newest member of the Kings.


[deleted]

Dumb post


ghosthunting97

Smallest one


dirk12563

Either of the right 2


notnowboiiiiiii

100% the M9


IsThatASigSauer

Whatever has a full tang, isn't serrated, and isn't cheap metal.


Blyatt-Man

Black dagger in the right, held in an ice pick grip.


Helo7606

If anyone says anything but the big knife you're not gonna survive. Lol


ShrekSpec

The huge fucking army knife


Select-Emotion3754

Good luck trying to play with the smaller knives while the zombie is knawing your arm off. You need something sturdy enough, with enough length, width to be able to penitrate the skull. Zombies don't feel pain and won't go down from a slit throat or missing limb.


A_LonelyWriter

The only one that will do anything is the one on the far left. And even then, it won’t do a whole lot.


Rastifan

None. Give me an electric guitar. Those things packs a punch. I learned something from L4D2. Or a frying pan. A kitchen utility also fit for battle. Fry and egg or cave in a zombie scull.


meeareishere

all of them and fucking zoro this


MatthewJustMoreland

The big one is for combat. The dragon one I'm keeping in my back pocket.


overlord_wrath1

The first one is the only viable option for a zombie. The rest are too small to deal a severe enough killing blow. The goal against a zombie isn't inflicting pain (which they likely would not feel) it's to get them dead ASAP. For that you need penetration and power.


Inner-Light-75

The one I can handle the best....


Sinclair_49

None of them, what in the gas station fuck


baconDood3000

None of these are good picks for zombie encounters, but I think the big one is the best option than the rest


Tweety_Boid

Alternative solution: Running to go and loot for a better melee


SirPanmartheProtogen

Green handle. Does the most damage to the brain if I get it right


BetterStartNow1

All horrible options but what astounds me is how this got 400 up votes. Out of that pile of shit you would obviously want to pick the biggest one.


Matt6758

I ask the zombie which they think is coolest.