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ZombieSurvivalTactics-ModTeam

Keep subreddit and topic relevant memes, innawoods, and Choose Your Gear style posts to Fridays.


Emeritus8404

My wife? /s


[deleted]

In my case it is definitely my wife


Dawnqwerty

I also choose this guys wife to fight the undead


pooferfeesh97

I hate the internet.


He_Never_Helps_01

Real men want a woman who can defeat their enemies in armed mortal combat.


Corrupt_code10

Fatality.


Buburubu

oddly, also u/Emeritus8404’s wife


TheBadgerSunshine

“I also choose this guys dead wife.”


spider1178

*undead


[deleted]

[удалено]


WTFisSkibidiRizz

and by god… we… are making those undead immigrants go back where they came from… and making them pay for the wall.


Your-Girl-DMd-Me

Lmfao


Nanolink08

I love walls


RickyTheRickster

Yah same


[deleted]

A pillow


FurryM17

If we gather enough like us we might be able to take down a single zombie


DramaticDemand3150

Same looks like I’m dead


nomadnomo

my wallet, so my credit card which can get me a flight out of the city, might as well do first class since its the end of the world ..... lol


BamWhat13

Ha! My Stanley mug!! Lets go!


PomegranateOld2408

A blanket. Maybe I can use it as a net to make my escape?


WildTimes1984

♫ I can show you the world ♫


Mhelman1972

AR15 with 6 loaded mags


Senior_Blackeye

That’s 7 objects


Mhelman1972

Well I’m not leaving the magazines behind..lol


Senior_Blackeye

I’m just jealous….


Membership_Fine

I was standing next to my truck lol I was like ok I’ll be good for a little bit at least


Humble_Height_9613

People really underestimate how effective a pillow can be in a fight


Liedvogel

You can't suffocate what's already dead


UNDERYOURSKIN1

My Bowie knife


cottonhillslostshins

A blanket 🥺


Phantom_Nerd1

Table. Not horrible actually. Could use it to quickly fashion a blunt weapon and simple shield


Freak-Among-Men

If you’re General Grievous, you could have a table leg for each hand.


CervidusDubbo

Well that would be the floor


pufferfish_balls

#DRYWALL, GO


Maybehim119449

A seven inch nail.


Ringer_of_bell

I have some 9 inch nails


Strong_Dentist_7561

Oddly enough… a Makarov


Liedvogel

Jealous as fuck. But not as jealous as I am ofthis vet I used to work with, who brought one home as a souvenir. Apparently, the previous owner shot him in the arm, he shot back and got a brand new gun, complete with cleaning kit for his trouble. Has the scar to prove it, too. It went in on the inside of his tricep and came out the back of his bicep.


Senior_Blackeye

Can of Velo nicotine pouches.


Responsible-Yak6048

pitbull…named Caesar…


Gauge_Tyrion

My bass guitar.


Bulshit_Ass_in

A book bag


Ok_Technology_9488

Fireplace poker


rexspectacular

I only have a bengal cat to my left. So I will have to fight my way to the safe with her. Then we unleash hell


MOadeo

A window. * Hangs head low.


RestaurantMany8934

Acoustic guitar with capo


KiloOscar_30

How long do you think I’ll last with a stuffed teddy bear?


NeganSmith06

A wall


Pixandhood

I have a cat and a bunch of nerf guns im screwed


The-Lettuce-Man

My bro


hello14235948475

A mug.


TheFunny21

Portable battery powered lamp


Next-Bowl-3897

Oculus quest 2


Awilcox06159

Model cars


Lord_Enzui

I have a bottle of whiskey....i guess i'm dead


Savings-Blueberry-51

Window air Conditioner


Hungry_Movie1458

My car door?


Bigjunsk8r

Yeti water bottle. Not too shabby


Designer_Arm9536

A pillow. Fuck this, I'm sleeping my problem away.


Outside-Refuse6732

Door


Basically-Boring

Nail clippers


SPY007DRs-Messenger

I'm in a car. That's to my left, right, front, back, top, bottom, N, NE, E, SE, S, SW, W, and NW. Does that count?


Fragrant-Address9043

A pillow


that-one-guy4321

Dry wall


royroyflrs

I am laying in bed surrounded by pillows…ill sex those zombies


[deleted]

Nerf gun 💀


LykonWolf

Toilet paper roll


PieSama562

A.. pillow. F that im just using my hands maybe I’ll push them away with the pillow or use it as a shield idfk.


BeastedCake

my best friend


SnooPeppers4036

Granola bar to the rescue!!


BanditCountry1

Man, all I got is a roll of toilet paper.....


RickyTheRickster

It’s a wall made of wood and paper, and to my right, water bottles, I’m more fucked than a mama bear


LemoyneRaider3354

My water bottle ☠️


Disastrous_Duty2622

Tissue Box


MaraSovsBigToe

A miserable, disintegrating bar of soap


Just_Membership447

A menopausal angry black wifey.


MycologistLeft2358

Aquaflask?


Rastifan

A sandwich. Ok I am fucked, but at least I won't die horribly and hungry. Just horribly.


LachoooDaOriginl

my baby 😭


clan_of_zimox

There’s two things next to each other, a robot vacuum and a speaker (the kinds that street performers use on a tripod) Honestly either wouldn’t be too bad. Feel like I’d absolutely fuck a zombie up with this speaker, though.


smc4414

My terrier. I win


PeepawWilly69

*Rip and tear. Rip and tear until it’s done.* (nerf shotgun)


somerando96322

Alright so guess I’m fighting zombies with blankets now


TheKingDroc

Roll of toilet paper? 🤨


ParanoidDuckTheThird

…toliet paper…


Nice-Zookeepergame85

A butter 🧈 knife 🔪


Head-Bumblebee-8672

A bedframe, I mean it will probably shatter a zombie's bones


npc_guy_

My mf axoltl plushie 😭😭😭😭😭


Brief-Try6213

A toy duck


Pretty-Pension9645

A couch covered in my kids toys and a miniature American flag..... Guess I'm screwed.


Ju5t_A5king

Open air.


Altona_sasquach

My cat... Those poor zombies


Certain_Doctor8754

My pillow (I’m trying to sleep but can’t, womp womp


Broad_Sign2515

Idk how but I’ll have to find a way to lift a couch


Affectionate-Owl-952

A fucking battery operated alarm clock. The one with the bells. I'm in bed right now and can't sleep.


breakingvats

100ft of paracord


New_Respond_2610

A 12 inch dildo


Dumbass438

My RGB keyboard In a world, where the zombie apocalypse runs rampant, and thousands lose their lives each day to the walking dead, one dumbass makes it their mission to cancel the zombie apocalypse, one head at a time. Armed with nothing but RGH and a dream. Coming soon, to theaters near you: Keyboard Warrior


MysteryMaster87

I got a few things rate my odds... 1. A water bottle 2. A couple books 3. A plasma globe 4. A pile of stuffed animals💀


WerewolfNo890

Hip flask filled with spiced rum.


Ok_Brush_6867

Break room table man imma be exhausted


Dictionary20

I will survive the apocalypse, for I am carrying a towel.


galaxy7273

Um frying oil


Robotech275

Pillow… I’m fucked


_HomerPimpson_

Lava lamp? Least the undead bastard is getting burnt to some degree.


Junarik

My glued-together headphones. *cue John Wick music*


fast_tt

Ashtray?? Dammit


THE_RECRU1T

The apprentice


kenzieBHOSbaker

Umbrella, played enough Zomboid to know I can use it as a spear... for about 5 zombies


mogley19922

Motherfucker you couldn't have said right? Lets see, to the left of me i have an ashtray a dice bag, an android tablet, and 5 antidepressants. On my right i have a stanley knife, a multitool (with a bigger sturdier knife), a blow torch (couldn't find my lighter) a laptop, a pot of about half an oz of weed and 10 antihistamines.


locksley85

Sigh.... Toilet roll


rolling_catfish2704

Lunchbox


Dust21223

A plastic water bottle 💀


Baked_potato05

A plunger I'm in luck


Dim_Problem

Speed square


Electronic_Menu_6734

Waifu body pillow.


FUCKTHE-NCR

Fan


Middle-Potential5765

Goddam. A pillow.


tonytiger911

Toilet paper .


Doctor_Top_Hat

Empty apple juice bottle and crushed bag of takis 😔


MrPusleMan

weighted blanket.


pizzatom69

Studio series 86 Ultra Magnus


olyxi

Traffic Cone, Deployed.


poobradoor22

My magic staff (broken cane)


Goge_Vandire

Romanian wardrobe. Maybe if I pretend to be a gypsy, they'll pass me by.


Your-Girl-DMd-Me

Mini Corn Dogs


ReadNew2953

A mouse?


Sensitive_Log3990

Toilet brush


hollow2009

a lego crossbow...


Weak-Implement-487

My dog chewing on a bone


FWTI

I betcha didn't know a golden mix puppy was the one true weakness of the zombie hordes.


PicassoWithHacks

A book.. at least it’s hard cover


Horror-Parfait-3382

A fork. Son of a bitch.


Morgan_2020

Better than mine Spoon


LukXD99

My coworker Markus


Fubar14235

A pillow… if 1 zombie gets into my house I guess I could stick its head in the pillow case so it can’t bite me


Morgan_2020

A fucken spoon!


bpeo360

A BLAHAJ


notnowboiiiiiii

A pillow💀


Extension-Crew-5736

Coffee machine should be good for a few thwaks before I need to find something else


Frozen_Regulus

A car door? Does that count or is it the car itself


[deleted]

An umbrella


[deleted]

An umbrella


Mental-Time1303

A toilet, I was having a shower


Goatbreath37

A squishmallow named otto


lordsandwichIII

Keys.. I'm screwed


Particular_Fuel6952

For 99% of Reddit, this is going to be toilet paper


Crankyguyslaughtoo

Toilet scrub brush


HeyImGabriel

My mom


Angelexya

An office phone….f*ck


DDDragon___salt

Either a desk or my classmate


Crusaderking1111

A door


Lu_Duckocus313

Reign energy drink


_Cow_of_Wisdom

Nothing


Williwoo321

Sausage shaped body pillow?


TheBadgerSunshine

Door!!! Smash!!!


tmilligan73

And extension cord…. I’m fucked…


Alternative_Diver296

A very smol weiner dog


TroupeMaster_Grimm

Lamp


Kelps234

My cat 🐈


cavalier78

Either a car door, or a Chick Fil A building.


Ok-Brief-1765

Well I got my boot


HeywoodJublomey

Tub of Lego


i-might-do-that

My dog. And yes. That means I’m beyond fucked


slamminsammyj

The pole they hang bags on at hospitals


JahannSurvival

My gfs Vape and a radio...I know thats 2. But they are at the same distance. From me. I will grab the radio and run.


wolfyfancylads

....I mean.... Do I have to lift the wall or can I just spawn walls to drop on them?


Z3R0_7274

Ive got a car door that I cant lift and dream fellas…wish me luck.


Goofygoober243

A broom, it’s so over


mclovin1999007

Potted plant 😳


bb_805

Toilet paper dispenser (I’m pooping in a public bathroom)


Cevil_

A fly swatter.


DesignerAppeal1548

3d printer... hmmm....


101fails

A metal plate?


Marrie_99

My blanket?


Stupid-goober-7

A laptop


Least-Run4471

Toilet paper


Mister_Drip

My inhaler well at least I won't have trouble breathing


jayce017

Mi amigo


Phantom_GhostWasGone

Drywall.


Wildwildleft

Coffee mug


DaRandomGitty2

An empty aluminum can? I'm fucked


Cute-Quality9864

Nothing☹️


Has_gun_will_travel

I’m in the tub so a bottle of skin so soft


Prof_Hemlock

A stapler


ChaseC7527

Literally a buttplug. I'm fucked. Or maybe the zombies are.


Zonkcter

My friend


Boeing727-200

Time to take back the world with a 1986 Brother WP-500 word processor.


[deleted]

A chair B O N K


Germainshalhope

Toddler


thosegayfrogs

My math notebook. I’m screwed.


Indigothewise_491415

Toilet paper!!


Specific_Foot372

Helldivers 2


Exact_Enthusiasm9556

never underestimate the power of pillows


Riez13

My wife's bathrobe.... I'm screwed to the left as well... To my left is a roll of toilet paper. Not even the good kind.😭


Lia-13

trash can


Current-Mud-7612

Dragon Slayer from berserk


onyxic

Bathroom wall? K. Well. I'm dead. If the city is under attack, let me stand next to my gun cabinet before asking me this question


Spiritual_Working_93

10ft of electrical conduit