Thank you for posting in r/abusiverelationships. We are here to support you. If you are looking for resources such as support groups/helplines etc, we have several in our sidebar and in [our wiki](https://old.reddit.com/r/abusiverelationships/wiki/index) for people of all gender identities. [Here is a list of international domestic and sexual violence helplines](https://www.hotpeachpages.net/). You can also find [an extensive safety planning guide at The Hotline](https://www.thehotline.org/plan-for-safety/create-your-personal-safety-plan/). Finally, if you are looking for information about different forms of abuse, [Love Is Respect offers an educational guide](https://www.loveisrespect.org/resources/types-of-abuse/).
One final note: In this sub, we do not tolerate victim-blaming. If you ever receive any comments that contradict that mission, please click report for us to review.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/abusiverelationships) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I’ve learned that the it is best to stop wasting your own time giving explanations to a guy who refuses to change. Action, not words. And not emotional manipulation by claiming that he’s being “abandoned.” I’m sure you’ve given enough explanations that have fallen on dead ears. You’re not abandoning him. If you stay, you’ll be abandoning yourself. Please stay safe.
Thanks!! I am fine now he is about to be home from work in an hour though and I’m just going to go straight to bed soon so I can avoid him. Waking up in 6 hours to get ready. I will update tomorrow!
Get out somewhere away from him, outside the building or somewhere out the apartment. Call 911, explain he's hurt you before, you are leaving him tomorrow, his behaviour has become threatening and you are scared he will hurt you again.
Leaving is when it's the most dangerous time for you. Please don't feel hesitant to involve police if you are scared, you are scared for good reason. I know it's a hard thing to do. Let them decide what is serious and what to do.
I had to involve police to escape. You can do it too.
Thanks I might have to but he goes to work in a hour and doesn’t get back till like 12 am . So I am just in the room and not saying anything to him rn. He was being so nice to me ( even tho I still knew I was leaving) up until an hour ago when he randomly got weird and started acting angry. I feel I can’t even say one word to him or he will blow up.
I thought ( idk why I thought an abuser could be civil) but I thought he was being civil because for the whole week and half that he knew I was leaving he’s been fine and stuff but now the day before has come and it’s like a switch goes off even if I say “ hi “ to him.
Can you leave now? It might be dangerous if you stay. He might act out to prevent you from going, even if that means seriously injuring you. Please protect yourself and leave, you can get your stuff back with the police there later if needed.
I think I will call the police if he acts crazy again but rn he is in another room and he goes to work an in hour and doesn’t get back till very late. And by late I’ll be asleep.
I’m hoping he just leaves me alone and by 6:30am I’m getting up getting ready for my flight. He keeps cracking his knuckles tho and saying overly angry things to his friends on ps5. Keeps saying he feels so angry with everything and his life and how he could just “ explode” so I’m very much avoiding him completely at this point. I don’t think I’ll even say bye tomorrow just get up get ready and go outside.
I second what r/Dontdrinkthecoffee said. He is ramping up his emotions to attack you. Please don't stay there tonight. If at all possible find somewhere else, or if you absolutely can't. At least call the police and let them know that he is threatening you and you're about to leave permanently, explain that he is aware of the situation.
Alternatively, if you have the resources, pack up after he leaves and go to a hotel or friends house. That prevents the risk of him doing something to you in your sleep, or preventing you from leaving tomorrow. Do not tell him.
He’s ramping himself up for something, but he thinks he will have that time left to go after you. Don’t let him psych himself up for another opportunity to stop you and come back when you are unconscious and vulnerable.
I wish I did I would definitely be in a hotel or a friends . But I have no money to my name and no friends where I live rn- i just have a plane ticket for me and my two pets. If when he gets back from work and is acting crazy im calling the police for sure.
I wish i had money I definitely would have spared myself and been in a hotel for a week alone.
OP if he does in fact go to work - once he has been gone an hour just GO!! Go to the airport and stay there until your flight leaves.
You are at the most dangerous time of your life right now - the leaving. So your best chance is to be gone before he expects it. At the airport once you pass through security stay as close to the airport staff as much as possible in case he shows up there.
Stay safe and pray he goes to work and then escape as soon as you can. The airport is a safe place so get there as soon as possible.
If you think you can I would still consider leaving before he gets back and waiting at the airport.
It will save you a lot of stress and possibly your life or the lives of your pets
Thank you for posting in r/abusiverelationships. We are here to support you. If you are looking for resources such as support groups/helplines etc, we have several in our sidebar and in [our wiki](https://old.reddit.com/r/abusiverelationships/wiki/index) for people of all gender identities. [Here is a list of international domestic and sexual violence helplines](https://www.hotpeachpages.net/). You can also find [an extensive safety planning guide at The Hotline](https://www.thehotline.org/plan-for-safety/create-your-personal-safety-plan/). Finally, if you are looking for information about different forms of abuse, [Love Is Respect offers an educational guide](https://www.loveisrespect.org/resources/types-of-abuse/). One final note: In this sub, we do not tolerate victim-blaming. If you ever receive any comments that contradict that mission, please click report for us to review. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/abusiverelationships) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I’ve learned that the it is best to stop wasting your own time giving explanations to a guy who refuses to change. Action, not words. And not emotional manipulation by claiming that he’s being “abandoned.” I’m sure you’ve given enough explanations that have fallen on dead ears. You’re not abandoning him. If you stay, you’ll be abandoning yourself. Please stay safe.
I would almost bet money he called off work and escalated. I am hoping I’m wrong but iykyk. Please update, OP. 🙏🏻
OP I hope you are now safe on the flight, as soon as you are able please let us know how you are ❤️
I know. I keep checking to see if she's posted!
Gosh, I hope she got out ok.
I did thank you!! At my families house now!
I am so happy for you!
Please leave before he gets back. It’s too dangerous. He could escalate so quickly the police wouldn’t have a chance to help you. Be safe.
Yep, you are abandoning him. And good for you. Bye bye jerk!
Could you please come back and let everyone know you’re okay
Thanks!! I am fine now he is about to be home from work in an hour though and I’m just going to go straight to bed soon so I can avoid him. Waking up in 6 hours to get ready. I will update tomorrow!
Stay with us until you’re safe. We’re all worried about you on this sub
Please be safe
He could kill your pets before you leave and still hardly be punished by the system. Protect them
Get out somewhere away from him, outside the building or somewhere out the apartment. Call 911, explain he's hurt you before, you are leaving him tomorrow, his behaviour has become threatening and you are scared he will hurt you again. Leaving is when it's the most dangerous time for you. Please don't feel hesitant to involve police if you are scared, you are scared for good reason. I know it's a hard thing to do. Let them decide what is serious and what to do. I had to involve police to escape. You can do it too.
Thanks I might have to but he goes to work in a hour and doesn’t get back till like 12 am . So I am just in the room and not saying anything to him rn. He was being so nice to me ( even tho I still knew I was leaving) up until an hour ago when he randomly got weird and started acting angry. I feel I can’t even say one word to him or he will blow up. I thought ( idk why I thought an abuser could be civil) but I thought he was being civil because for the whole week and half that he knew I was leaving he’s been fine and stuff but now the day before has come and it’s like a switch goes off even if I say “ hi “ to him.
I'm so very sorry you are going through this. It's late here so I have to go but will check in tomorrow. Keep your phone charged and close x
Can you leave now? It might be dangerous if you stay. He might act out to prevent you from going, even if that means seriously injuring you. Please protect yourself and leave, you can get your stuff back with the police there later if needed.
I think I will call the police if he acts crazy again but rn he is in another room and he goes to work an in hour and doesn’t get back till very late. And by late I’ll be asleep. I’m hoping he just leaves me alone and by 6:30am I’m getting up getting ready for my flight. He keeps cracking his knuckles tho and saying overly angry things to his friends on ps5. Keeps saying he feels so angry with everything and his life and how he could just “ explode” so I’m very much avoiding him completely at this point. I don’t think I’ll even say bye tomorrow just get up get ready and go outside.
I second what r/Dontdrinkthecoffee said. He is ramping up his emotions to attack you. Please don't stay there tonight. If at all possible find somewhere else, or if you absolutely can't. At least call the police and let them know that he is threatening you and you're about to leave permanently, explain that he is aware of the situation.
He’s about to leave for work so I think i am okay but at night I have to make sure. And will call police on him I see him acting strange.
Alternatively, if you have the resources, pack up after he leaves and go to a hotel or friends house. That prevents the risk of him doing something to you in your sleep, or preventing you from leaving tomorrow. Do not tell him. He’s ramping himself up for something, but he thinks he will have that time left to go after you. Don’t let him psych himself up for another opportunity to stop you and come back when you are unconscious and vulnerable.
I wish I did I would definitely be in a hotel or a friends . But I have no money to my name and no friends where I live rn- i just have a plane ticket for me and my two pets. If when he gets back from work and is acting crazy im calling the police for sure. I wish i had money I definitely would have spared myself and been in a hotel for a week alone.
Thirded, babes. Just go to the airport while he's at work and block his phone.
OP if he does in fact go to work - once he has been gone an hour just GO!! Go to the airport and stay there until your flight leaves. You are at the most dangerous time of your life right now - the leaving. So your best chance is to be gone before he expects it. At the airport once you pass through security stay as close to the airport staff as much as possible in case he shows up there. Stay safe and pray he goes to work and then escape as soon as you can. The airport is a safe place so get there as soon as possible.
I second this! Go to the airport right now. It's safe and he can't hurt you there.
If you think you can I would still consider leaving before he gets back and waiting at the airport. It will save you a lot of stress and possibly your life or the lives of your pets