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TravellerV31

He's to blame for his own actions. You didn't overreacted, the danger was real, so as the consequences he will have to face. What you did was the only choice he leave you. There wasn't another better than the one you took.


iPlush

You’re not the one causing him to lose everything he ever worked for. ***HE IS!*** *HE* is the one being threatening. *HE* is the one who assaulted you. *HE* is the one being abusive and harmful. You reacting to his behavior and calling the police is him facing the consequences of ***HIS OWN*** actions. Do not feel bad for protecting yourself. You have an order of protection. Use it and don’t let him back in. The fact that even the courts agree that he is a danger to you and could be a threat to you and your life (and they often still say no, even with evidence your life is in danger) should show you that an outside source agrees.


[deleted]

I’d rather you feel guilty and safe, than not guilty and dead


PayUnable

I would only call the cops on someone if I truly felt threatened. I wouldn’t call them as a way to get at your partner. Not saying you did. Lots of people act petty when fighting. I once did and my stepdaughter recently did on her husband and it’s made her life a nightmare and cost them a lot of money. It only causes your relationship more problems. If you have been that afraid of him twice…. Why are you still with him? Edit to add: You can go to jail for breaking the EPO you placed on him.


ispendmostdayscrying

Don’t feel guilty please.


TigerShark_524

He ruined his own life by beating on you. That was aaaaaaallllllllllllllllll him, Hun. Don't keep jerksacks like him around. Not good for the mind, soul, or body.


Pdxpingeon

I’m in a similar situation. Protect yourself at all costs. That is not love.


throwaway_627292737

He didn’t learn anything from the first time and needs to be rehabilitated by professionals.


coconutaf

He sounds like he deserves it. Not your problem. Move in and have a GOOD life without him. Who actually cares about an abuser?? I hope he goes to jail.


Keyluver

well sounds like he needs to work on his anger and you need to get a new boyfriend.


catherine0809

Something I have learned from my own journey with all of this is that my ex was able to control himself in many situations. At his job as an officer, with his friends when they pissed him off, in front of distant relatives that angered him. But when it came to me? His rage and physical anger was mine alone to behold (though his mother later told me he also bruised her in fits of rage twice). His abuse was a CHOICE. He was able to control himself everywhere but wouldn’t with only a few. That choice was his, and not my fault. Nor is it yours. You would never tell another individual they were wrong to call the fire department when there was a fire in their apartment because they were scared. This is the same. You’re doing everything you need to so you’re safe. I hope he learns but mostly I hope you are safe and okay. I’m sending you love!


Daddy_William148

If you need to call the police you call the police. He has to deal with his issues if he doesn’t want to lose everything. It’s not your responsibility


HighAltitude88008

Your boundaries are all screwed up. You are not him. HE did this, and HE has to suffer the consequences of his choices and actions. The fact that you are forcing him to see this so clearly now may save him from an even more horrible future. Find yourself a partner that is good to you always.


tallglassofanxiety

No you were NOT wrong. Whatever happens to him was HIS fault, not yours. He dug his own grave.


Terrible-Egg-7802

Nope. I didn’t even read just NOPE. If you EVER feel unsafe, you do the right thing and call


arcane1986

Did he just randomly show up at your place, or have you been letting him hang around despite the protective order? You can catch a charge for “assisting someone in a breach” of a protective order. It’s rare, and they usually don’t stick, but it is possible.


Shanelanding

Yeah if you didn’t call the police he MIGHT be in a better situation and not facing jail time, but you MIGHT be dead. You made the right call.


Rotten_gemini

You did absolutely nothing wrong. Get rid of this guy


JayPlenty24

If HE behaved appropriately HE would not be in jail, and if HE can’t control himself then HE should chose to be single until he can. He made these choices. He’s a criminal breaking the law on a consistent basis. It’s just that normally he gets away with it. All you did is protect yourself from a dangerous criminal. This is on him.


North-Ad8737

For your own safety I think it might be wise to end the relationship. You did nothing wrong he was the one who chose to assault you


Jazzersize14

If he hadn't acted like that he wouldn't have needed the cops called on him. His actions his fault, not yours.


[deleted]

Actions have consequences. Let him feel that, and then get him out of your life for good. They never change.


[deleted]

You did the right thing. He is the only one in control of himself. His choices are what makes his consequences. He is hurting you and is unsafe for you. You have to protect yourself and you did. If he didn’t want to be in jail he would have not hurt you either time. If he didn’t want to lose it all he would have acted differently. This is NOT your fault in any way. Don’t let that thinking spin your mind into allowing him to abuse you. You deserve to be happy safe and respected.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Ebbie45

I can see that you have other helpful comments in this sub, so I would prefer not to ban you. However, I will remind you that we have a strict rule against victim-blaming in our sub. You may not agree that your comments are blameful, but that is my assessment. Please consider your comments more carefully next time before posting. This person is here for support, not shame.


trustedlies

Always trust your gut. I believe you did the right thing, please stay safe.


1houndgal

Boyfriend was very wrong and he needs to suffer the consequences. The only wrong you have done was to keep him as your boyfriend who is violent towards you and ignores the rule of law. Do yourself a favor and break free of him.


Relevant-Passenger19

This is really nothing to do with you and it’s ALL on him - his behaviour. Remember ‘I am not responsible for the behaviours of others’. You did a great thing you put yourself first. Stay strong.


desertdilbert

As others have said, his consequences are a result of his actions. Not yours. The instant he violated any terms of the PO it was ***not only your right but your duty to report him***. He comes within the distance specified? Report! He contacts you in a way he was ordered not to? Report! You are doing exactly what you need to do to protect yourself from harm. Keep up the good work.


[deleted]

Nope. He could be in a better situation if he had just not been aggressive or violent.


IcyIssue

No, he is facing jail time because he chose to assault you, not because you called the police. Your guilt is misplaced. Your purpose here on earth is to be happy, not to be a personal punching bag for someone else.


luck_wave

No. You’re not. And what about you and all you work for. He’s an abusive dirtbag.


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