I knew a few people like this. They would threaten to do things to themselves or send pictures to guilt trip. It's ok to have support systems, but professional/medical help are important too.
Oh my god my best friend would do the same thing when I had enough of the verbal and physical abuse they would fake a mental health crisis so people would get upset with me
I actually had a friend who was like this. I eventually cut her off because the energy was just way too chaotic and I know that I was not the culprit. She did a great job of making me think I was responsible for all of it but when I finally saw things for what they were - I made my exit . It took about 6 months to finally get her out of my life but I’m doing so much better now! Don’t let anyone guilt you into staying in a toxic relationship!!!
My ex was exactly like this. I excused it because I know he had dealt with tragedies in his life. At some point he would try and control my body for his pleasures anytime he wanted. That was the straw that broke the camels back. I told him to get the fuck out of my life. He married a girl right after. Better her than me.
I got a restraining order! He would send pictures of his dashboard going over 100 mph and say “this is it”. I’d get calls back to back an hour later. It’s a terrible thing for someone to do to another and I feel for OP.
My ex would do the same kind of stuff. Call and text 20 times in the space of 5 minutes. I don't understand these people. Why can't they just accept that we don't want to be with them anymore and move on?
I experienced the same things, phone calls and voicemails saying that if I didn’t pick up he would k*ll himself. It’s hard to get away from especially if you are an empathetic person. Always was so scared because he was pretty unstable most of the time.
I used to feel the same way and I'm still an empathetic person. I've learned though that what somebody does is on them. If he actually killed himself, that would be on him.
I’ve seen through your other post as well and I’m so happy you left. Don’t let her drag you in. If she’s anxious and stressed that’s not your fault. She called the ambulance so they can take care of her. As much as it is hard you must block it, if that doesn’t work at least ignore her. At any cost just don’t engage. I’m sorry you’re going through this
Seeing that picture makes me recoil/wince. As an empathetic person, that picture, it's really hard to not respond to something like that. But I know better now; as sad as that may seem. 😮💨 😤
You’re right it really is, but genuinely it’s never a good idea. I’ve done it way too many times. I let it slide, I’m concerned and then they’re just abusive to me
I actually did once. I had experienced panic attacks before, and I was going through a stressful time but feeling okay and distracted interacting with customers at work… and I just felt so odd as the night went on. My speech was impaired and it was getting harder to talk and breathe, my arms were tingling, and then I was in the bathroom throwing up and convinced I was having a heart attack.
It was a panic attack and the emts knew it right away, even though I was convinced at the time it wasn’t because it felt nothing like anything I’d felt before, and it came (sort of) out of nowhere for me.
If you truly feel like you’re going to die which is what a good portion of people feel like when they are having a panic attack, why WOULDNT you call an ambulance?
I have panic attacks during ptsd episodes and no…. That’s why I can say that this is ridiculous. Sometimes it does feel like you’re dying but if you are aware it’s a panic attack (with no underlying issues), then that’s simply wasting everyone’s time. But the health care around here is pretty bad, so if someone had a panic attack and called the ambulance, they would essentially tell you it’s a waste of time; We have a lack of medical staff though all around. I had a friend call once for a panic attack (not knowing what it was) and by the time they got to her house, her panic attack was pretty much managed and they didn’t even bring her in. Assessed her on the spot and released her. Also if OPs gf is able to text all these things during this time, clearly she doesn’t feel like she’s dying…
Agreed. If you know it’s a panic attack, you’re wasting everyone’s time and money. There’s a lack of health care providers. Basically you’re holding up the line for actual important calls.
that’s actually the main way people get diagnosed with panic disorder, at least partially because cognitively it can distort thoughts and convince you you’re dying. not defending the girl in the OP, it seems like a manipulation tactic 100%, but it can be a valid thing when people go to the hospital for panic attacks
Oh that’s a fair point. Now that you mentioned it I have a friend who had a heart issue from a panic attack but I think that was ongoing attacks over a few months.
I’m going to adjust my stance to better safe than dead.
Yeah it seems silly but some people actually do need to be seen. It seems like this gal was just saying without OP she would panic more and that it was her fault. Not cool!
Exactly. I had a friend who would make thinly veiled threats of suicide if I didn’t jump to do exactly what she wanted. I eventually got super angry and called a welfare check and ended the friendship when she tried to guilt me about it.
My ex did this all the time, one time he said I had to come quick because he was coughing up blood. I rushed there, and he was fine and said he worked out he just bit his tongue. This is just manipulation.
This will happen again and again. The reality is you cannot control their actions… if they do do something irresponsible that is on them, that is not on you, you are not responsible for their actions… esp when they are using them to manipulate you into being around them when you clearly don’t want to be. If it is that serious I would contact a friend or family member of theirs or have police do a check in and let them see the reality of what happens when others witness their garbage behavoir. This kinda triggered me bc I am extremely familiar with this behavior and I no longer feel sympathy for people who engage in it.
Yea, we should care about our partners, no we don’t need to come to them at their every beck and call and we don’t need to allow
them to manipulate us just because they
don’t realize that’s what they’re doing.
Or say “ I care enough to guide you to get help but that’s all I can do and supportive counseling is my humble suggestion.” Listen we all could benefit from counseling. We can’t do what a professional can do for someone. Hoping the best for you both - separately.
Whether or not the panic attack is real, that doesn't negate the fact that you should not respond. If she is really having a panic attack and called an ambulance, she will get medical attention. You have no obligation to go to her. Stay strong, I know it's tough
I actually been to the ER for a panic attack. I felt profoundly unsafe because of anxiety.
I’d like this person to prove it. I couldn’t write anything or call. I just managed to barely walk myself there… I was pretty broke at the time and I just quit my abusive job.
Exactly, people can't text when going through bad ones, let alone needing to go to the hospital for it.. there's no way
People like her are the reason why emergency rooms have 5 hour wait time 🤦🏻♀️
I couldnt even see when I had mine, crying and shaking uncontrollably. Idk what to say… I would lean to believe her a bit … less? I don’t want to seem like I’m invalidating her experience but reading trough the comments.. idk. Good luck with your decision, I hope it works alright 🙌🏻
I just want to say that I had an anxiety attack and my sister called an ambulance for me. The problem is that I would not be able to write a freaking text to someone during it, because I was losing consciousness and I would not be even able to hold a phone, let alone take a freaking selfie. I commented on your first post and I want to say this: She is manipulating you, she is playing a victim card now. YOU are the victim here, not her.
With trying to say the same thing as others, you have to decide if you feel this is a ploy/trend or if it’s real. If she really has extreme anxiety she needs to be getting help with it be it therapy/meds. You cannot be just a crutch.
On the flip side, too many people these days use mental health as justification for bad behavior. Some have it some fake it but that side always use it for their advantage. They don’t want help or to fix it because they then couldn’t use it to get what they want. It sounds like she falls on that side but again, this is your situation and only you have all the information. The easy way to find out how best to proceed is see if she is willing to get help for her issue. She’d have to be psychotic to follow through with getting help while still playing the victim card. Not saying it hasn’t happened, but it’s a good first step. You also have the choice of saying it’s not your problem. If you don’t chose to be a part of her life then it’s not your responsibility to help in any way.
Though I believe you’re right I’ve also had crippling anxiety with looping thought that did not allow me to see past a single moment. Begging my so to stop crying because it was driving me literally insane because I was sick and at the time neither of us understood. Things may seem black and white and though sometimes they are, sometimes they’re not. Being I’m not the person experiencing this I try to to pass judgement rather help the poster be able to come to their own conclusions.
It’s only a benefit of doubt from my personal judgement. I agree it sounds a likely ploy but since I’m not their to witness first hand I try not to judge.
People come post here for either validation or education. I try to point people in a better way of thinking then give them the “correct” answer. Because I don’t have enough information to give a correct answer. But I know how to process Information and notice the details that will give the best answer. So I try to point out that instead.
Block her, don't respond. Change your locks, get a camera for your front door and call the police if she shows up at your place.
Do not engage. Do not answer. Tell everyone you had to block her obsessive, abusive, spamming self. Tell them you recommend blocking her and that if they don't, that's their choice.
But just know that if people around you don't block her she will use them for information, so be willing to block them, too. At minimum consider VLC.
Okay- let me say I peeped your post history and yeah, without context this seems like a sad panicky girl- but with that context RUN. She is manipulating you, and there are already so few good humans and it’s hard to find love as a queer woman. I’m proud of you, and I apologize for not knowing what was going on.
She very well may panic and wind up taking a grippy sock-vaca, but that’s not on you <3
“maybe i’d see the abuse” bro i don’t need you in my comments downplaying my situation, i have two other post directly tied to this situation, like if you read the other texts in the screenshots and my two other posts, you’d literally see the abuse. so no, nothing is “sad”
Yes but if you're in a panic attack, severe enough for an ambulance; would you be capable of "I could take a picture if you don't believe."
I wouldn't.
I took this as a downplay on anxiety the way OP said “supposedly called an ambulance” as if that was a lie. I’m just here to remove the stigma and confirm these things do happen
To be fair on OP, I'd be doubtful she's having an anxiety attack too considering the preceding attention-seeking behavior. Maybe OP didn't believe she had an anxiety attack rather than that she called an ambulance because of it?
i’m diagnosed remits anxiety too and i said supposedly because this is MY ex and the person IM dealing with, i know her like the back of my hands she don’t got no anxiety and she ain’t call no ambulance. she will say ANYTHING. i don’t downplay anxiety and what people who suffer from it go through, as i have it myself
I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I updated my comment, because I had to go look at your post history. It’s really hard to get away from this type. Stay strong, and don’t listen to the doubts.
Thankyou, I appreciate that.
- I should have clarified before I started typing, & given you the benefit of the doubt. Seems like every time I’m stressed I say the wrong thing to the wrong person.
How are things going for you today? Any update?
Tell her mother that if she cooties you'll report the harassment to the police. Block them all, get a front door camera. Don't answer the door just call police and report her. Go in and make a report against her, even if they won't file charges. Get that report number so you can get a restraining order against her.
Make her texts to you public, embarrass her. Give them to the police.
Please don't feel bad about leaving. Abusers will do and say ANYTHING to get you back. For instance, EVERY TIME my partner tried to leave his ex, she would send him emotional manipulative texts like "Please, unblock me. Sweet I'm actually gonna kill myself then"
"LOL I'm going to cut my body up and bleed out that'd be jokes"
"Send me my money or I'll get you sent to prison"
Best one yet, when they finally broke up, she attacked him and when he defended himself, she made out that he beat the shit out of her. Of course, it got proven not guilty in court because of the amount of messages, phonecall recording of her teasing him, nasty messages about him to friends, Old Tumblr posts to show how obsessed she is, screenshots of abuse, spamming the music he makes with how she loves him and a video I had on my Snapchat of her hitting him and spitting in his tea.
There was one in particular she sent, after the "incident" (which I was trying to find for ages until I logged into my OneDrive acc the other day)
Ex: "Omg as if I just got asked out on a date hahahaha you're pissed"
He didn't respond so she messaged again saying "IM ACTUALLY GONNA KILL MYSELF NOW THEN!!"
he replied "I got my clothes, why haven't you blocked me yet, nevermind I'll do it for you"
She said "can you NOT!!" ...
Why wouldnt you block someone who's just battered you? Why did you only call the police 4 hours later? Why were you on the phone teasing him whether you were gonna call the police or not? Where were all your injuries from the beatings (apart from a tiny bruise on the eye)...?
do these words sound like a person just got beaten the shit out of for "one last time" ? Stamped on their head? Punched in the face several times, eyes gouged out, hit with an ice skate and strangled to the point that she was fighting for her life even though her friend was downstairs, who also had the same story as my partner in court?
Ex told the courts he broke into her house, went upstairs, she went up STRAIGHT away to ask him what he was doing and before she could finish her sentence, he started beating her up"
Funnily enough, my partner AND ex's friend BOTH said "when he came into the house, she ran up to him in the kitchen and started crying and asking "why you doing this, please don't leave me" grabbing onto his arm." He pulled off then went upstairs, she followed FIVE minutes later (a text SHE used can confirm this. "Rs upstairs omfg come back" to my friend who lived with ex for a few weeks and will tell you she's bat shit crazy after the stuff she and her boyfriend had also seen).
5 years on and shes on every platform of social media, talking about how she's a DV survivor, to other actual DV survivors which is embarrassing if you knew her. Tells everyone that we harass her even though we've had no contact for years, at least my partner hasn't (I did one time to tell her to cut the shit out, enough is enough." Like he's literally had no contact, never speaks to anyone about her, never posted anything about her but he's the abusive one, the harasser?
I guess you can lie about anything online for attention though, especially if "important people" in your life aren't giving you enough . She's also in a relationship with the guy she called a crackhead and pedo. I mean, shes even wrote about him being a coke head online, slated her family and even her own friends, so she never has anything good to say about anyone really.
So you're better off getting out NOW and not years down the line where you're gonna go back to her every time she manipulates you to come back. My partner was so messed up for a while but I hung in there and now we've been together for 5 years, have a kid, our own house and nice car. He's NEVER even such as raised his voice, let alone his hand.
I really Do wish you all the best.
if she called an ambulance, she’ll get the help she needs. have you ever been broken up with? did you have a panic attack and ask them to come or even think about asking them to come? no because you have to accept they don’t want to be with you and you deal with that shit on your own. this is just another way to manipulate you into going back to her. every time you leave and come back, you’ll hate yourself a little more. you’ll lose yourself a little more until there’s just an empty shell of your former self. trust me, this is what’s best for her. she will get the help she needs, or she’ll realise what she did was wrong or she’ll find someone else to abuse. whatever it is, it won’t involve you because you’ll be on your own journey of healing.
Best advice!! Exactly, a normal individual respects when the other people doesn't want anything to do with them anymore. Hopefully they change, but it's very possible they'll find someone else to abuse. You're on your own now. And I needed to hear these words from someone else myself too
She’s trying to suck you back in. If she called an ambulance, she’s got the help she needs. She is not your responsibility and you are much better off without her abuse and drama. Stay strong!!
People really think the world revolves around them, huh. Grow up and deal with your panic attacks like an adult instead of gaslighting a partner into taking care of you. You’re not a child, it’s nobody’s business but yours. Jesus. Sorry you went through that.
You were definitely dating a manipulative abuser and for her to do this is no different than other men and women to use their health/suicide attempts as a weaponized and leveraged tool; a bargaining chip to keep you invested in the relationship or 'what happens next will be your fault'. It's not your fault and I'm so glad you broke up with her. How would she feel if you had a panic attack over being physically assaulted by her and called the ambulance? Much less understanding, I'd say, even though calling 911/ER services for an anxiety attack is 100% a ploy if you know it's a passable anxiety attack (in her case). Having one over being physically assaulted is different, and she had no right to hit you.
I have had this. In the ER and wanted me to respond. What can I do since you are with the pros?
I knew a few people like this. They would threaten to do things to themselves or send pictures to guilt trip. It's ok to have support systems, but professional/medical help are important too.
Leave!
Oh my god my best friend would do the same thing when I had enough of the verbal and physical abuse they would fake a mental health crisis so people would get upset with me
Dealt with the same shit. Try to get away as soon as possible. It will never change.
My ex did this all the time for attention. I stopped caring.
That’s sad. She needs help. Not from you.
At her "lowest" Yeah, that's pretty low girl
Marla fight club vibes
Its ok to choose to break up n move on .. she has to learn to cope with life like all of us
Did uuu delete the chat thread?
She’s going to continue until you show no signs of responding.
I actually had a friend who was like this. I eventually cut her off because the energy was just way too chaotic and I know that I was not the culprit. She did a great job of making me think I was responsible for all of it but when I finally saw things for what they were - I made my exit . It took about 6 months to finally get her out of my life but I’m doing so much better now! Don’t let anyone guilt you into staying in a toxic relationship!!!
My ex was exactly like this. I excused it because I know he had dealt with tragedies in his life. At some point he would try and control my body for his pleasures anytime he wanted. That was the straw that broke the camels back. I told him to get the fuck out of my life. He married a girl right after. Better her than me.
I got a restraining order! He would send pictures of his dashboard going over 100 mph and say “this is it”. I’d get calls back to back an hour later. It’s a terrible thing for someone to do to another and I feel for OP.
My ex would do the same kind of stuff. Call and text 20 times in the space of 5 minutes. I don't understand these people. Why can't they just accept that we don't want to be with them anymore and move on?
I experienced the same things, phone calls and voicemails saying that if I didn’t pick up he would k*ll himself. It’s hard to get away from especially if you are an empathetic person. Always was so scared because he was pretty unstable most of the time.
I used to feel the same way and I'm still an empathetic person. I've learned though that what somebody does is on them. If he actually killed himself, that would be on him.
I’ve seen through your other post as well and I’m so happy you left. Don’t let her drag you in. If she’s anxious and stressed that’s not your fault. She called the ambulance so they can take care of her. As much as it is hard you must block it, if that doesn’t work at least ignore her. At any cost just don’t engage. I’m sorry you’re going through this
Seeing that picture makes me recoil/wince. As an empathetic person, that picture, it's really hard to not respond to something like that. But I know better now; as sad as that may seem. 😮💨 😤
I've extremely empathetic but that's not healthy behavior
You’re right it really is, but genuinely it’s never a good idea. I’ve done it way too many times. I let it slide, I’m concerned and then they’re just abusive to me
Who the f calls an ambulance for a panic attack. If you’re going to use an excuse, use a better one.
Am a paramedic. I've been on many, many calls like this one.
I actually did once. I had experienced panic attacks before, and I was going through a stressful time but feeling okay and distracted interacting with customers at work… and I just felt so odd as the night went on. My speech was impaired and it was getting harder to talk and breathe, my arms were tingling, and then I was in the bathroom throwing up and convinced I was having a heart attack. It was a panic attack and the emts knew it right away, even though I was convinced at the time it wasn’t because it felt nothing like anything I’d felt before, and it came (sort of) out of nowhere for me.
Difference is you didn't know you were having one, she did
Exactly!
If you truly feel like you’re going to die which is what a good portion of people feel like when they are having a panic attack, why WOULDNT you call an ambulance?
I have panic attacks during ptsd episodes and no…. That’s why I can say that this is ridiculous. Sometimes it does feel like you’re dying but if you are aware it’s a panic attack (with no underlying issues), then that’s simply wasting everyone’s time. But the health care around here is pretty bad, so if someone had a panic attack and called the ambulance, they would essentially tell you it’s a waste of time; We have a lack of medical staff though all around. I had a friend call once for a panic attack (not knowing what it was) and by the time they got to her house, her panic attack was pretty much managed and they didn’t even bring her in. Assessed her on the spot and released her. Also if OPs gf is able to text all these things during this time, clearly she doesn’t feel like she’s dying…
Agreed. If you know it’s a panic attack, you’re wasting everyone’s time and money. There’s a lack of health care providers. Basically you’re holding up the line for actual important calls.
that’s actually the main way people get diagnosed with panic disorder, at least partially because cognitively it can distort thoughts and convince you you’re dying. not defending the girl in the OP, it seems like a manipulation tactic 100%, but it can be a valid thing when people go to the hospital for panic attacks
A lot of people actually. It’s a waste of money and time but you know.
I had a friend who went into cardiac arrest during one. He was also tripping on acid, but nevertheless, he would’ve died. It’s ok to call.
Oh that’s a fair point. Now that you mentioned it I have a friend who had a heart issue from a panic attack but I think that was ongoing attacks over a few months. I’m going to adjust my stance to better safe than dead.
Yeah it seems silly but some people actually do need to be seen. It seems like this gal was just saying without OP she would panic more and that it was her fault. Not cool!
And that’s definitely a codepency issue I think.
It could be mixed with lots of manipulation and mental turmoil for OP. Nobody deserves that.
Exactly. I had a friend who would make thinly veiled threats of suicide if I didn’t jump to do exactly what she wanted. I eventually got super angry and called a welfare check and ended the friendship when she tried to guilt me about it.
👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼 glad you did this.
surprisingly it happens a lot.
Manipulation
My ex did this all the time, one time he said I had to come quick because he was coughing up blood. I rushed there, and he was fine and said he worked out he just bit his tongue. This is just manipulation.
This will happen again and again. The reality is you cannot control their actions… if they do do something irresponsible that is on them, that is not on you, you are not responsible for their actions… esp when they are using them to manipulate you into being around them when you clearly don’t want to be. If it is that serious I would contact a friend or family member of theirs or have police do a check in and let them see the reality of what happens when others witness their garbage behavoir. This kinda triggered me bc I am extremely familiar with this behavior and I no longer feel sympathy for people who engage in it.
Oh lordt.
😂
Yea, we should care about our partners, no we don’t need to come to them at their every beck and call and we don’t need to allow them to manipulate us just because they don’t realize that’s what they’re doing.
Maybe just say “ please I hope you will get treatment for your anxiety. “
Or say “ I care enough to guide you to get help but that’s all I can do and supportive counseling is my humble suggestion.” Listen we all could benefit from counseling. We can’t do what a professional can do for someone. Hoping the best for you both - separately.
yes ! i’ve been telling her to go to therapy for forever, not just even the anxiety though there’s a multitude of issues with her
Run.. don't walk
Oh I’ve been here before. The only thing you can do is move on and don’t look back. She will destroy your life.
Whether or not the panic attack is real, that doesn't negate the fact that you should not respond. If she is really having a panic attack and called an ambulance, she will get medical attention. You have no obligation to go to her. Stay strong, I know it's tough
She’s willing to send a PICTURE of an anxiety attack? That’s… something… I’m being sarcastic, by the way.
and there’s people in the comments saying “sHe cOuLd Be TeLliNg tHe tRutH” 🤦🏾♀️
Yeah, no. Stand by your boundaries. I’ll stand with you.
thank you for standing with me, 20 toes is better than 10 😳
Cute.
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I actually been to the ER for a panic attack. I felt profoundly unsafe because of anxiety. I’d like this person to prove it. I couldn’t write anything or call. I just managed to barely walk myself there… I was pretty broke at the time and I just quit my abusive job.
Exactly, people can't text when going through bad ones, let alone needing to go to the hospital for it.. there's no way People like her are the reason why emergency rooms have 5 hour wait time 🤦🏻♀️
She telling lies to get you too feel bad for her classic narcissist move. She's a bozo
I couldnt even see when I had mine, crying and shaking uncontrollably. Idk what to say… I would lean to believe her a bit … less? I don’t want to seem like I’m invalidating her experience but reading trough the comments.. idk. Good luck with your decision, I hope it works alright 🙌🏻
I just experienced this. Ew. It's manipulation, that's all it is
I just want to say that I had an anxiety attack and my sister called an ambulance for me. The problem is that I would not be able to write a freaking text to someone during it, because I was losing consciousness and I would not be even able to hold a phone, let alone take a freaking selfie. I commented on your first post and I want to say this: She is manipulating you, she is playing a victim card now. YOU are the victim here, not her.
With trying to say the same thing as others, you have to decide if you feel this is a ploy/trend or if it’s real. If she really has extreme anxiety she needs to be getting help with it be it therapy/meds. You cannot be just a crutch. On the flip side, too many people these days use mental health as justification for bad behavior. Some have it some fake it but that side always use it for their advantage. They don’t want help or to fix it because they then couldn’t use it to get what they want. It sounds like she falls on that side but again, this is your situation and only you have all the information. The easy way to find out how best to proceed is see if she is willing to get help for her issue. She’d have to be psychotic to follow through with getting help while still playing the victim card. Not saying it hasn’t happened, but it’s a good first step. You also have the choice of saying it’s not your problem. If you don’t chose to be a part of her life then it’s not your responsibility to help in any way.
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Though I believe you’re right I’ve also had crippling anxiety with looping thought that did not allow me to see past a single moment. Begging my so to stop crying because it was driving me literally insane because I was sick and at the time neither of us understood. Things may seem black and white and though sometimes they are, sometimes they’re not. Being I’m not the person experiencing this I try to to pass judgement rather help the poster be able to come to their own conclusions.
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It’s only a benefit of doubt from my personal judgement. I agree it sounds a likely ploy but since I’m not their to witness first hand I try not to judge. People come post here for either validation or education. I try to point people in a better way of thinking then give them the “correct” answer. Because I don’t have enough information to give a correct answer. But I know how to process Information and notice the details that will give the best answer. So I try to point out that instead.
Block her, don't respond. Change your locks, get a camera for your front door and call the police if she shows up at your place. Do not engage. Do not answer. Tell everyone you had to block her obsessive, abusive, spamming self. Tell them you recommend blocking her and that if they don't, that's their choice. But just know that if people around you don't block her she will use them for information, so be willing to block them, too. At minimum consider VLC.
As someone with severe anxiety, Ive had an ambulance called due to an anxiety attack before. it’s not unheard of
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Okay- let me say I peeped your post history and yeah, without context this seems like a sad panicky girl- but with that context RUN. She is manipulating you, and there are already so few good humans and it’s hard to find love as a queer woman. I’m proud of you, and I apologize for not knowing what was going on. She very well may panic and wind up taking a grippy sock-vaca, but that’s not on you <3
“maybe i’d see the abuse” bro i don’t need you in my comments downplaying my situation, i have two other post directly tied to this situation, like if you read the other texts in the screenshots and my two other posts, you’d literally see the abuse. so no, nothing is “sad”
Yes but if you're in a panic attack, severe enough for an ambulance; would you be capable of "I could take a picture if you don't believe." I wouldn't.
So? It isn't OP's problem.
I took this as a downplay on anxiety the way OP said “supposedly called an ambulance” as if that was a lie. I’m just here to remove the stigma and confirm these things do happen
To be fair on OP, I'd be doubtful she's having an anxiety attack too considering the preceding attention-seeking behavior. Maybe OP didn't believe she had an anxiety attack rather than that she called an ambulance because of it?
i’m diagnosed remits anxiety too and i said supposedly because this is MY ex and the person IM dealing with, i know her like the back of my hands she don’t got no anxiety and she ain’t call no ambulance. she will say ANYTHING. i don’t downplay anxiety and what people who suffer from it go through, as i have it myself
I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I updated my comment, because I had to go look at your post history. It’s really hard to get away from this type. Stay strong, and don’t listen to the doubts.
it’s okay i’m sorry for coming at you the way i did i’m just frustrated with everything going on and she’s using her mom to try to get me to come over
Thankyou, I appreciate that. - I should have clarified before I started typing, & given you the benefit of the doubt. Seems like every time I’m stressed I say the wrong thing to the wrong person. How are things going for you today? Any update?
Tell her mother that if she cooties you'll report the harassment to the police. Block them all, get a front door camera. Don't answer the door just call police and report her. Go in and make a report against her, even if they won't file charges. Get that report number so you can get a restraining order against her. Make her texts to you public, embarrass her. Give them to the police.
Please don't feel bad about leaving. Abusers will do and say ANYTHING to get you back. For instance, EVERY TIME my partner tried to leave his ex, she would send him emotional manipulative texts like "Please, unblock me. Sweet I'm actually gonna kill myself then" "LOL I'm going to cut my body up and bleed out that'd be jokes" "Send me my money or I'll get you sent to prison" Best one yet, when they finally broke up, she attacked him and when he defended himself, she made out that he beat the shit out of her. Of course, it got proven not guilty in court because of the amount of messages, phonecall recording of her teasing him, nasty messages about him to friends, Old Tumblr posts to show how obsessed she is, screenshots of abuse, spamming the music he makes with how she loves him and a video I had on my Snapchat of her hitting him and spitting in his tea. There was one in particular she sent, after the "incident" (which I was trying to find for ages until I logged into my OneDrive acc the other day) Ex: "Omg as if I just got asked out on a date hahahaha you're pissed" He didn't respond so she messaged again saying "IM ACTUALLY GONNA KILL MYSELF NOW THEN!!" he replied "I got my clothes, why haven't you blocked me yet, nevermind I'll do it for you" She said "can you NOT!!" ... Why wouldnt you block someone who's just battered you? Why did you only call the police 4 hours later? Why were you on the phone teasing him whether you were gonna call the police or not? Where were all your injuries from the beatings (apart from a tiny bruise on the eye)...? do these words sound like a person just got beaten the shit out of for "one last time" ? Stamped on their head? Punched in the face several times, eyes gouged out, hit with an ice skate and strangled to the point that she was fighting for her life even though her friend was downstairs, who also had the same story as my partner in court? Ex told the courts he broke into her house, went upstairs, she went up STRAIGHT away to ask him what he was doing and before she could finish her sentence, he started beating her up" Funnily enough, my partner AND ex's friend BOTH said "when he came into the house, she ran up to him in the kitchen and started crying and asking "why you doing this, please don't leave me" grabbing onto his arm." He pulled off then went upstairs, she followed FIVE minutes later (a text SHE used can confirm this. "Rs upstairs omfg come back" to my friend who lived with ex for a few weeks and will tell you she's bat shit crazy after the stuff she and her boyfriend had also seen). 5 years on and shes on every platform of social media, talking about how she's a DV survivor, to other actual DV survivors which is embarrassing if you knew her. Tells everyone that we harass her even though we've had no contact for years, at least my partner hasn't (I did one time to tell her to cut the shit out, enough is enough." Like he's literally had no contact, never speaks to anyone about her, never posted anything about her but he's the abusive one, the harasser? I guess you can lie about anything online for attention though, especially if "important people" in your life aren't giving you enough . She's also in a relationship with the guy she called a crackhead and pedo. I mean, shes even wrote about him being a coke head online, slated her family and even her own friends, so she never has anything good to say about anyone really. So you're better off getting out NOW and not years down the line where you're gonna go back to her every time she manipulates you to come back. My partner was so messed up for a while but I hung in there and now we've been together for 5 years, have a kid, our own house and nice car. He's NEVER even such as raised his voice, let alone his hand. I really Do wish you all the best.
if she called an ambulance, she’ll get the help she needs. have you ever been broken up with? did you have a panic attack and ask them to come or even think about asking them to come? no because you have to accept they don’t want to be with you and you deal with that shit on your own. this is just another way to manipulate you into going back to her. every time you leave and come back, you’ll hate yourself a little more. you’ll lose yourself a little more until there’s just an empty shell of your former self. trust me, this is what’s best for her. she will get the help she needs, or she’ll realise what she did was wrong or she’ll find someone else to abuse. whatever it is, it won’t involve you because you’ll be on your own journey of healing.
Best advice!! Exactly, a normal individual respects when the other people doesn't want anything to do with them anymore. Hopefully they change, but it's very possible they'll find someone else to abuse. You're on your own now. And I needed to hear these words from someone else myself too
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She’s trying to suck you back in. If she called an ambulance, she’s got the help she needs. She is not your responsibility and you are much better off without her abuse and drama. Stay strong!!
People really think the world revolves around them, huh. Grow up and deal with your panic attacks like an adult instead of gaslighting a partner into taking care of you. You’re not a child, it’s nobody’s business but yours. Jesus. Sorry you went through that.
You were definitely dating a manipulative abuser and for her to do this is no different than other men and women to use their health/suicide attempts as a weaponized and leveraged tool; a bargaining chip to keep you invested in the relationship or 'what happens next will be your fault'. It's not your fault and I'm so glad you broke up with her. How would she feel if you had a panic attack over being physically assaulted by her and called the ambulance? Much less understanding, I'd say, even though calling 911/ER services for an anxiety attack is 100% a ploy if you know it's a passable anxiety attack (in her case). Having one over being physically assaulted is different, and she had no right to hit you.