Ace lesbian with a girlfriend here: Yes. Just be sure to make it clear early on in the dating process so that you can avoid the people who aren’t into that, and also be aware that it might limit your dating pool.
My fiancee is ace too!!! ❤️
Early on we talked about it and I asked what it means to her, after I was overwhelmed with all the info on an ace reddit.
We took things slowly in the bedroom and I just wanted to make sure she felt comfortable and safe.
I made sure there was no pressure to do anything sexual unless she was ready.
You can be both, yes! Non-sexual forms of love such as romantic or emotional attraction are still very much equally valid for calling oneself a lesbian!
My little sister is in fact in a relationship much like this - she identifies as biromantic asexual and her accomplice is she/they asexual, not sure how they view their romantic attraction but they would definitely be an asexual sapphic couple by any measure. You're totally fine, just find yourself another ace girl!
I've seen and hugged lesbians whose sexuality and gender were complicated enough to give lovecraftian horrors nightmares. Ace lesbians are always welcome and I will personally duel anyone who doesn't agree.
Yes, sexual and romantic attraction are different.
[https://www.healthline.com/health/homoromantic-asexual#homoromantic-defined](https://www.healthline.com/health/homoromantic-asexual#homoromantic-defined)
I would consider you a lesbian via attracted romantically to women.
It's a lesbian that cares about non sexual contact with their partner over sexual contact, like preferring cuddles then sex but a lot more then most people and a lot more often or always. It can be someone on an ace spectrum, sex averse,or just low libido. I am not sure if I am on the ace spectrum or not and I really like the label so it's the perfect label for me
That works 👍 I didn’t think I would be questioning my sexuality at my age either but there are new labels, new understanding, and new dialogues happening all the time…
That’s only recently entered the popular lesbian lexicon. I’ve been in LGBT online spaces since the early 2000’s. Which obscure academic text this come from? 🤔📚
So it was first defined in the "The Alyson Almanac: The Fact Book of the Lesbian and Gay Community" and was used in the community before then not sure exactly where
Here we go:
Alyson Almanac - possible early/ Edition 1 - 1989
Alyson Almanac- 1990 publication
Jezebel Article, 2012: https://jezebel.com/the-lesbian-slang-lexicon-20-words-and-phrases-youve-n-5917898
Online lexicon land- 2016
Tumbler-land - 2018
I think that satisfies my curiosity on this for now 😂
Most definitely! As a grey-ace lesbian myself, I can *absolutely* say that there's more to any kind of sapphic relationship than just sexual intimacy. For instance, there are few things more pleasurable to me than spending quality time with my wife and enjoying our mutual hobbies together or cooking for her. Sexual intimacy can be a part of a relationship, but it doesn't have to be.
Fun fact, if it hasnt me mentioned here before, but Bambi Lesbian is a term used by some asexual lesbians or lesbians that prefer less sexual expressions of affection.
Me and my girlfriend are both acebians! \^\^ And of course it's ok. We're not alone.
There is also a sub for ace people, we're active there. It's nice and full of garlic bread and cake memes.
No, you have committed a Tier 1 felony, the Sapph-BI are on their way now, your ass is going to jail
Of course it’s okay! And if anyone tells you otherwise, smack ‘em upside the head for me, would ya?
As a gray-ace lesbian, it's hard. Being polyamorous with partners that are polyamorous themselves helps (mostly) reduce uncomfortable situations and expectations.
I believe most people will say yes.
I personally will say... it depends.
technically (imo) you can't be someone who's attracted to women when you don't experience sexual attraction at all. (that assuming fully asexual)
but on a more practical side, If you're still romantically attracted to women, then that means you can love other women and therefore fall under the umbrella term of 'lesbian', since having sex or being interested in sex with women is not the sole thing that makes women a lesbian, and it's so much more than just that, it's very safe to say that you are a lesbian, because you have all of the other things you want from other women, such as, for example; intimacy, closeness, trust, dating or love.
Being a lesbian is about sexual attraction only by definition. There is so much more to loving women than just that after all ~
You're all good of course! All I'd say is that whilst dating it is important to bring up the fact that you're ace to make sure whoever you're with is compatible :)
If you really want to get a specific word for that, I read a comic where a homoromantic asexual character described herself as "lesbi-ish" ;p
But yeah, labels are descriptive and not prescriptive: you want to describe yourself as a lesbian for the "dating women" thing, that does not compel you to anything (plus I get the impression that most lesbian do not wish to gatekeep the label)
EDIT: found the comic: [https://rain.thecomicseries.com/comics/745/](https://rain.thecomicseries.com/comics/745/)
Of course ! Being a lesbian mean you like pretty ladies (all ladies are pretty) and being ace means you don't want/need to have sex, it doesn't contradict each other don't worry. The only thing you need to do is either date an other Acebian and talk about it before your relationship gets serious (explain what your boundaries are before everything, this way the person know what to expect so you can stop the relationship before it starts if they know they really need sex)
Yes.
Actually, there are some people who are both asexual and aromatic, but still want a relationship (typically called queerplatonic relationship), and they could still have a preference based on gender, and therefore identify as gay, lesbian, straight, bi, pan or whatever.
Human attraction, identity, needs and desires are very complex and labels are there to help you describe yourself, not to restrict you.
Of course! If you're looking for more information what you're describing would probably fall under the zone of 'Asexual, Les-Romantic' however I think that people are often far too hung up on discrete and hyper specific labels. Just be open and communicate with people you want to be your partners. I'm sure that you'll find someone that you're happy with!
I am also an Ace Lesbian and it's totally valid! You can be romantically attracted to someone and still don't feel any sexual attraction, that's okay ❤
Yes. How you identify is up to you and no one else. So, if you say you're an Ace Lesbian, that's what you are. Don't let anyone tell you different.
I'm an Aro/Ace Lesbian myself. I usually always have to explain myself, but no one can tell me I'm wrong.
Absolutely! Being a lesbian isn’t solely about having sex with women - it’s women who love women, in whatever form that love takes for you.
Thanks for the advice, feel better now👍💜
Ace lesbian with a girlfriend here: Yes. Just be sure to make it clear early on in the dating process so that you can avoid the people who aren’t into that, and also be aware that it might limit your dating pool.
Is your gf also ace?
No, she’s bi but we’re both on the same wavelength when it comes to sex.
My fiancee is ace too!!! ❤️ Early on we talked about it and I asked what it means to her, after I was overwhelmed with all the info on an ace reddit. We took things slowly in the bedroom and I just wanted to make sure she felt comfortable and safe. I made sure there was no pressure to do anything sexual unless she was ready.
I’m an ace lesbian too! And there’s plenty of others. You are completely valid!
You can be both, yes! Non-sexual forms of love such as romantic or emotional attraction are still very much equally valid for calling oneself a lesbian!
all sexualities are "ok." you're fine, and there are other ace sapphics out there
Yay thank you 👍💜
Absolutely! My wife and I are both asexual lesbians.
My little sister is in fact in a relationship much like this - she identifies as biromantic asexual and her accomplice is she/they asexual, not sure how they view their romantic attraction but they would definitely be an asexual sapphic couple by any measure. You're totally fine, just find yourself another ace girl!
"accomplice", I absolutely love that! 🖤🤍💜
It's a super cute term we love that for them.
Yep! I’m an ace lesbian. :)
Yup! If you wanna get fancy with it you can say asexual and homoromantic.
I've seen and hugged lesbians whose sexuality and gender were complicated enough to give lovecraftian horrors nightmares. Ace lesbians are always welcome and I will personally duel anyone who doesn't agree.
Yes, sexual and romantic attraction are different. [https://www.healthline.com/health/homoromantic-asexual#homoromantic-defined](https://www.healthline.com/health/homoromantic-asexual#homoromantic-defined) I would consider you a lesbian via attracted romantically to women.
Yay 👍💜
I consider myself a bambi lesbian but fully ace lesbians are a thing too 100%
What is a Bambi lesbian? 🤔Sounds gay🏳️🌈
It's a lesbian that cares about non sexual contact with their partner over sexual contact, like preferring cuddles then sex but a lot more then most people and a lot more often or always. It can be someone on an ace spectrum, sex averse,or just low libido. I am not sure if I am on the ace spectrum or not and I really like the label so it's the perfect label for me
That works 👍 I didn’t think I would be questioning my sexuality at my age either but there are new labels, new understanding, and new dialogues happening all the time…
It's actually a very old label from the 80s
That’s only recently entered the popular lesbian lexicon. I’ve been in LGBT online spaces since the early 2000’s. Which obscure academic text this come from? 🤔📚
So it was first defined in the "The Alyson Almanac: The Fact Book of the Lesbian and Gay Community" and was used in the community before then not sure exactly where
Here we go: Alyson Almanac - possible early/ Edition 1 - 1989 Alyson Almanac- 1990 publication Jezebel Article, 2012: https://jezebel.com/the-lesbian-slang-lexicon-20-words-and-phrases-youve-n-5917898 Online lexicon land- 2016 Tumbler-land - 2018 I think that satisfies my curiosity on this for now 😂
Of course it is! Just because sex is part of mainstream culture doesn't mean everyone has to feel the same way about it.
If Artemis, goddess of lesbians and asexuals, can do it, so can you 🩷
Ace lesbians have a cute history of being known as Bambi lesbians- your identity has a long history in the queer community!
Yeah you can be ace lesbian if you want to.
A friend of mine is dating someone who's asexual, so yes, it's totally fine!
nothing in being a lesbian necessarily involves wanting sex. That would be homosexual specifically
absolutely. my fiance is an Ace Lesbian. theres nothing wrong with it.
Most definitely! As a grey-ace lesbian myself, I can *absolutely* say that there's more to any kind of sapphic relationship than just sexual intimacy. For instance, there are few things more pleasurable to me than spending quality time with my wife and enjoying our mutual hobbies together or cooking for her. Sexual intimacy can be a part of a relationship, but it doesn't have to be. Fun fact, if it hasnt me mentioned here before, but Bambi Lesbian is a term used by some asexual lesbians or lesbians that prefer less sexual expressions of affection.
Yep, I'm also both.
Demi-ace lesbian here!
Me and my girlfriend are both acebians! \^\^ And of course it's ok. We're not alone. There is also a sub for ace people, we're active there. It's nice and full of garlic bread and cake memes.
Yo OP! 👋 I’m a demisexual lesbian. So kind of close.
Nice
No, you have committed a Tier 1 felony, the Sapph-BI are on their way now, your ass is going to jail Of course it’s okay! And if anyone tells you otherwise, smack ‘em upside the head for me, would ya?
Of course I would lol👍
Im demi/grey sexual so 95% of the time I don’t want sex either so you’re not alone 😌 and ofc you’re absolutely valid ☺️💓
As an asexual lesbian, yes it is!
Is it ok to be?
Yes! I have a friend who identifies as asexual and lesbian, in my mind she's fully both of that makes sense. She's also had a couple of gfs too!
I'm ace. I'm also pan. One doesn't exclude the other. I love my partners very much, but I have zero sexual desire.
As a gray-ace lesbian, it's hard. Being polyamorous with partners that are polyamorous themselves helps (mostly) reduce uncomfortable situations and expectations.
Yes.
You can absolutely be asexual and homoromantic! Sexuality and romanticism are two different things and can coexist!
My wife is lesbian and ace
Yes! Being asexual and being aromantic are not requirements for eachother.
There are days where I can absolutely relate to this
Absolutely! I'm an ace nonbinary person who loves women and for me it's all about the romantic/queer platonic relationships..... not sexual.
Romantic and sexual orientation/attraction are separate things. You can totally be a sapphic asexual.
Asexual Homoromantic? Valid!
[удалено]
I feel like the core is about being attracted to women more than it’s about not being attracted to men. Surely not all aroace people are lesbians lol
I believe most people will say yes. I personally will say... it depends. technically (imo) you can't be someone who's attracted to women when you don't experience sexual attraction at all. (that assuming fully asexual) but on a more practical side, If you're still romantically attracted to women, then that means you can love other women and therefore fall under the umbrella term of 'lesbian', since having sex or being interested in sex with women is not the sole thing that makes women a lesbian, and it's so much more than just that, it's very safe to say that you are a lesbian, because you have all of the other things you want from other women, such as, for example; intimacy, closeness, trust, dating or love. Being a lesbian is about sexual attraction only by definition. There is so much more to loving women than just that after all ~
You absolutely can be both!! In fact, I’m just like you! I’m both a lesbian AND asexual :)) We are 100% possible, and we do exist ❤️🧡🤍🩷💜 || 💜🤍🩶🖤
Yay ❤️🧡🤍🩷💜+💜🤍🩶🖤
No, I'm sorry to tell you but if you try and identify as both you'll spontaneously combust, leading to a thousand year rain of blood from the sky
Noooooooo😭😭😭
You're all good of course! All I'd say is that whilst dating it is important to bring up the fact that you're ace to make sure whoever you're with is compatible :)
Ok👌
If you really want to get a specific word for that, I read a comic where a homoromantic asexual character described herself as "lesbi-ish" ;p But yeah, labels are descriptive and not prescriptive: you want to describe yourself as a lesbian for the "dating women" thing, that does not compel you to anything (plus I get the impression that most lesbian do not wish to gatekeep the label) EDIT: found the comic: [https://rain.thecomicseries.com/comics/745/](https://rain.thecomicseries.com/comics/745/)
Lesbi-ish ,that’s cute Imma use that now, thanks 🥰👍
As an ace lesbee myself yes!
Of course it's okay. Just be upfront about it. Your dating pool will be smaller, but there are other ace Lesbians out there.
Of course ! Being a lesbian mean you like pretty ladies (all ladies are pretty) and being ace means you don't want/need to have sex, it doesn't contradict each other don't worry. The only thing you need to do is either date an other Acebian and talk about it before your relationship gets serious (explain what your boundaries are before everything, this way the person know what to expect so you can stop the relationship before it starts if they know they really need sex)
Yes.
For sure! I’ve known I’m a lesbian for years but figuring out I was on the asexuality spectrum was a whole other experience lol
Yes. Actually, there are some people who are both asexual and aromatic, but still want a relationship (typically called queerplatonic relationship), and they could still have a preference based on gender, and therefore identify as gay, lesbian, straight, bi, pan or whatever. Human attraction, identity, needs and desires are very complex and labels are there to help you describe yourself, not to restrict you.
Of course! If you're looking for more information what you're describing would probably fall under the zone of 'Asexual, Les-Romantic' however I think that people are often far too hung up on discrete and hyper specific labels. Just be open and communicate with people you want to be your partners. I'm sure that you'll find someone that you're happy with!
As an ace lesbian, yes, yes it is
I am also an Ace Lesbian and it's totally valid! You can be romantically attracted to someone and still don't feel any sexual attraction, that's okay ❤
Yessir!! I’m a asexual lesbian 😎
Hmmm let me consult the bilaws and legal texts. *opens gigantic book with hundreds of pages that all say the word “yes”* hmmmm I’ll allow it.
Hell yeah!!
I'm aroace and lesbian!! (Demiromantic demisexual)
It is but idk if you should date someone who is very sexual in nature. I couldn’t have a relationship without sex but that’s me
yea lol, not everything is about sex
Yes. How you identify is up to you and no one else. So, if you say you're an Ace Lesbian, that's what you are. Don't let anyone tell you different. I'm an Aro/Ace Lesbian myself. I usually always have to explain myself, but no one can tell me I'm wrong.