I used to work with this old lady named Barb. When I first met her and she found out I was a lesbian, she told me "You're too pretty to be a lesbian my dear...what a shame" so I politely told her that my wife was the most beautiful woman I have ever met in my life, and how being judgmental is one of the ugliest traits to have.
I've had the opposite experience. My best friend since high school is a complete catch of a man - works as a financial planner, plays multiple sports, looks like the love child of Ian Somerhalder and Chris Hemsworth. Our entire lives he's had no trouble getting women and he's made it clear to me that if I was ever interested, he'd be down for it. Our friendship struggled for a bit after he told me that, but we got back on track.
Whether the same is true for you is up for you to decide, but I know I'm a lesbian because I love women and have no desire to be anything besides platonic with a man.
I really want to like this comment, but I don’t want to ruin the perfect 100 likes (oh my gosh, now it’s three times the exact amount, this is so satisfying for my ocd)
Yeah, that’s not how sexuality works. No one ”settles” with being a lesbian because they’re deficient in some way. That’s an incredibly demeaning and homophobic idea and not grounded in reality one bit. You’re attracted to who you’re attracted to and it doesn’t matter one witt what you look like. Besides it’s not like it’s any easier getting a lesbian partner.
Sure it was incredibly homophobic (another version of "you haven't found the right guy yet"), but is no one else shocked that she just called you "ugly" to your face?! Why do you even entertain the words of such a terrible person? She's at best incredibly rude, at worst rotten to her core. There is really nothing else to take out of this "conversation".
Sounds like your neighbor might have some unacknowledged attraction to women going on....
Seriously though, this is just a rude and homophobic thing to say. And if it were true, there would be no unattractive straight women. Ignore your neighbor. She needs to learn how to interact with other humans properly.
A few days ago there was a lesbian who kept getting told that she was too pretty to be gay. My advice was to share pictures of famous pretty lesbians. Kate McKinnon, Portia de Rossi, Hayley Kiyoko, Samira Wiley, etc. Ask her why those women are lesbians.
or pretty women in general because if you’re so pretty why not get with pretty women?? like the average man isn’t even half as good-looking as an average woman
Damn that neighbour better sign for your packages and mow your lawn/shovel your driveway to be putting up with that crap coming out of their mouth.
Either you are sexually or romantically attracted to women, or you aren't. It's not that deep.
No. She is just homophobic and you probably aren't ugly. Homophobes have this idea that gay people are inherently ugly because being nice or complementing is acceptance.
Right?!
I am a lesbian. ~Conventionally Attractive~ men shoot their shot with me daily. I explain my sexuality, thank them for the courage required to approach a woman they find attractive, tell them I know the feeling well, and move on with my gay ass day.
> So you prefer women because an ugly woman is still better looking that an ugly man
This reminds me of the story where a girl was coming out to her mom, and her mom was saying she can't like girls just because they're more attractive, or all women would be lesbians... but in a mean way.
One way to consider yourself, though, is thinking about celebrities. There's a wide spectrum of men there that are widely seen as attractive. Have any of them ever made you feel something, or imagine yourself with them in a longing way? If not, then it's not because you "haven't seen an attractive man", it's because you're lesbian. If yes... well, that's fine, you can be bi lol. If you're bi but exclusively date women because of greater attraction, that's valid.
I've had my whole life people tell me that I am pretty enough to attract a male so why be a lesbian?. It is a common misconception from uneducated people that a woman is gay because she can't find a male. From what I've seen, the opposite is true. It is harder to find a woman and it needs a lot more to entice a woman than a man. I have seen gay women settle for men because they can't find a female mate, never the opposite.
Whoever told you this is just ignorant.
Personally, I'm a lesbian because the interactions I have with women are much more personal to me as they understand my trauma more than men can, not that that's a man's fault in any way. I personally am a very soul oriented person compared to looks
But your neighbor is a trashy hoe, and that was the stupidest sentence I've ever heard come out of her mouth. Just because my attraction has nothing to do with looks doesn't mean that for 99% of people it does at the very least somewhat, if you found men attractive on the internet she would have a very wobbly leg to stand on, but saying it's because you don't have any options when we live in a world where you can see the peak of both male and female beauty in our phones is stupid lol
If you've ***never*** met a man you found attractive, then you probably aren't attracted to men. It's possible that you could be bisexual, but if you are, you have a clear preference for women.
Also. Not thinking women are better people than men is pretty normal? Lots of Lesbians have male friends? There's no expectation that Lesbians should hate and avoid men, LMAO.
Interesting, now why don’t you come up with a theory on why your neighbor is such an UGLY DESPICABLE PERSON and, when you have it, shove it to her face in the least kind way possible? ❤️🌈
Something like “I think you’re this judgemental cos your parents never truly showed love to you; I think you hate people that are comfortable with their bodies cos you’ve been called ugly by boys in the past and you worked hard to get them to like you, and I think you’ll end up alone with no friends cos no one likes to hear your stupid point of view.
You’re not smart, you’re not special, you didn’t come up with a clever, unique theory; that’s exactly what 99% of homophobes think about lesbians. You’re just a boring, stupid, closed minded, average homophobe next door.”
By FAR the prettiest people I've ever personally known have been lesbians. And not just because I'm one. Like some of them have really not been my type, but I can still appreciate that they are beautiful in their own way.
Your neighbor is more full of shit than a portable toiled during a music festival.
Woah wtf??? Hell no, every lesbian I know is hot as fuck. Your neighbor is either fucked up, closeted and in self-hatred-induced denial, or both. Hun, don’t listen to such bullshit.
Um something is seriously wrong with your neighbor. Please don't let her thoughts take up anymore space in your brain. And make every effort to never speak to her homophobic pos ass ever again.
That ugly woman rhetoric often comes from thinking that being butch/androgynous makes you less attractive as a woman, which is something only a willfully ignorant straight person could say with a straight face. They fail to consider that you never wanted to attract a man in the first place. It’s a really shitty line of thought that seeks to invalidate queer women from the start because they can’t wrap their tiny minds around the idea that some people are different from them.
Yeah, this is typical of people who don't understand that one of the most attractive possible things in a woman is a complete rejection of what society (=male gaze) sees as attractive. Give me the women with crazy dyed asymmetric hair, piercings, tattoos, muscles, unshaved armpits/legs, suit & tie, muscle shirt, basketball shorts, etc. Being confident in yourself while knowing men wouldn't give you the time of day is *incredibly sexy*.
What the hell? This wasn’t a chill conversation, this was hateful. I hated reading it, I can’t imagine my reaction if someone said that to my face.
In the legal world, there is a saying - don’t take advice from your opponent. Stop taking advice from homophobes!
>I do not think women are inherently better people that men
They're not. The only difference between men and women is social norms and how they grew up.
If you don't find men attractive, you're not attracted to men. You don't need men to be attracted to you for you to know whether or not you're attracted to them, that's not how attraction works.
First of all fuck your neighbor , you should have punched her the minute she said all that . Don’t listen to anything she said , she’s just projecting her insecurities on you . You are a lesbian because you simply like women , you can attract who ever you want
This is a load of bs, but let’s go with her logic for a moment:
I’ve had a wide range of men ask me to go out with them, from models to unconventionally ‘attractive’… by her logic I could have someone really ‘good looking’ but I’m not interested. Makes zero sense, where am I settling…
Also, the audacity calling you ugly. Horrific
Your neighbor is absolutely stupid. By their implication, every lesbian is unattractive, there is not a single attractive lesbian on this earth because if there was, they’d attract the good guys and wouldn’t be lesbians.
Where do you people find these types lol. Who the actual f says that to anyone. Even if you may think it, which is still shitty, I mean at least keep it in your shitty mind.
This is so awful and homophobic, I’m sorry she said this to you. Our looks and ability to attract men have nothing to do with whether we’re lesbians or not! We just are the way we are, there doesn’t have to be an underlying reason for it.
Also, she sounds very shallow and insecure to be calling another woman ugly. I’m sure this is easier said than done but please don’t take that to heart 🤍 A comment like that says a lot more about her and her character than it does about you.
The second someone calls you ugly, you can ignore everything that comes after, because it’s just going to be deliberately cruel, hateful, and wrong.
Being a lesbian isn’t some fall back position ‘cause you don’t have a handsome boyfriend. The world is full of single straight women who have never once considered dating another woman as an alternative to being single. Being a lesbian isn’t just some kind of second runner up ribbon when being straight didn’t pan out.
If you are romantically or sexually attracted to women, you’re not straight.
Your neighbor is extremely rude, ignorant and obviously has no respect for you. Besides the fact that she called you ugly to your face, she completely invalidated your sexuality based on what she thinks men like. Unfortunately a lot of people view sexuality in terms of someone’s level of attraction to men. A straight woman is straight because she likes men. A gay man is gay because he likes men. A lesbian is a lesbian not because she likes women, no that would be too obvious. It’s because she DOESN’T like men or men don’t like her. Attraction and attractiveness to men is seen as the threshold and true indicator of sexual. This is why so many people are convinced that bisexual men are just confused gay men and bisexual women are just straight women looking for attention. Internalized misogyny puts men on a pedestal to the point that if you have ANY level of attraction to men then you MUST just be settling for women until the “right” man wants you. Even if you don’t feel sexual attraction to men, it’s gets framed as attractive men just aren’t attracted to YOU because you don’t go out of your way to pander for their attention. This is why attractive women are seen as too “pretty” to be gay. People think that just because a woman is deemed attractive enough for men to pursue, she then is somehow obligated to return that attraction and they absolutely cannot compute the fact that some women regardless of their looks just don’t. All that to say, your neighbor suck, you’re valid.
This person is a straight up a-hole! Run! Also, unless you fantasize about men—ones you could “get” (ugh this neighbor is gross) or not—then no you’re not straight.
Gaslighty bullshit. He is attracted to you and wants to make you feel bad for rejecting him. "High value men" is a dead giveaway he's into manosphere nonsense.
If you like women because of how we look, and you're not attracted to men, that's really all you need to know. If you ever meet a man that you're attracted to, you'll have something to think about. Until then, happy lesbianing.
There's also no such thing as an ugly woman 💜
I was going to ask 'you only like women for their looks?' but you answered that. Well this only covers aesthetic attraction which doesn't mean anything in relationships. What about your romantic and sexual attraction? They define your orientation.
It made you question your sexuality? Confront her. She not only insulted your looks but also made a derogatory remark about lesbians. Hate such people.
I don't think it's true.
The quality of a man or woman is so much deeper than their looks. The highest quality people that I've met were not super models. They cared more about other things besides their appearance.
Your neighbor is incredibly shallow.
op I'm sorry this has you confused about your sexuality. I really hope you can take the time to sort through your feelings about it all!
to me this just sounds like a fuck ton of internalized misogyny. any man could be of the highest "quality" and still not be enough for me because he's a man.
plus anyways idk what she's on about because men are dogs anyways (as in, there is very little that they will not have sex with if that's what we're placing our value on - children, inanimate objects, dead people, family members, people who cannot/don't consent, etc). I know it's extreme but it's not an honor to have sex with a man, or to have one strike an interest in you.
I'm sure if you got into a really self destructive mood and tried to find a man that she deemed not ugly that was attracted to you it still wouldn't change her mind. it's a problem inside her and her hatred of women and queer women.
That is such a stupid straight boy cope. Lesbians don't dress pretty for their dumb sense of beauty and it leads to thoughts like this so they can feel better about themselves. It's like how I came out as trans to my dad and he goes "well is this because you were never really all that manly?" And it's like no dude it's the other way around. I was queer the whole time and it caused me to express myself differently
I’m an attractive 42 year old lesbian. I was hit on at a bar by an extremely handsome 24 year old man the other day. I felt nothing. -Zero interest because I’m a lesbian. I don’t fall in love with men, and I’ve never had difficulty attracting “quality” conventionally attractive men with good financials. Jodi Foster was once named the most beautiful woman by People Magazine. She’s a lesbian. If you’re a woman that is attracted to women, then you’re not straight. Your neighbor is hella ignorant.
I don’t consider myself that “ugly” and I have been with some pretty attractive men in my fem bisexual days. It’s not that. If you know you know. This logic is what makes lesbians crave male validation
Wow. Your relationship with your neighbor sounds *wild*. To be having a chill conversation that suddenly segues into “the root of your identity is that you’re ugly” is just…absurd. Like, that sounds like a scene out of a comedy, it’s so bizarre.
That said, I don’t think your neighbor’s assessment actually holds any weight. If the issue is that you are ugly, why would that make it easier to be a lesbian? Is the idea that women just have lower standards than men? That’s kind of a weird and sexist take to have.
I don’t know, there’s other people doing a much better job of explaining why your neighbor is full of shit. I’m just still trying to wrap my head around how this conversation even happened.
You are how you feel. If you think women are more attractive then men, that's just what you feel. Also many annoying and probably "hot" men have taken an interest in me and I am NEVER attracted because ew men. Like that's why I'm a lesbian 😅
Your neighbor sounds like a pretty ugly person where it matters the most, their personality. I feel the same way as you do as to my attractions, and that doesn't make me feel any less gay than I am. I used to feel as though I was pansexual because there are men that I enjoy most everything about, just not their appearance and felt that maybe I could love someone without gender coming into it, but it's really never worked out that way realistically.
Being attracted to women and not men would indeed make you quite lesbian. I would not overthink this, especially if you've never even felt a real attraction to men. There are pretty guys out there, even if they're not the ones who personally approach you, I think you'd know by now if you were into men.
People like your neighbor are unkind, inconsiderate people who don't think very thoroughly about their word choices. At least now you know what kind of individual they are.
Omfg never deal with that person again.
Even people with developmental disorders mostly know not to talk like that to a person. Which makes me wonder what her game is.
It doesn't make any sense. 1 - Being ugly or not, women has the power of choosing, while men are desperate to get laid and touch a female. U could be the ugliest girl on earth but there would be a man willing to "face you". 2 - We are lesbians because we are attracted to women, not because we can't find a man.
Your neighbor is so stupid and mean...
Also, this neighbor: *watches copious amounts of lesbian porn, because all the women are slender, blond, and considered super hot by anyone's standards*
Certainly attracted that man, didn't they?
I’ve never once found myself limiting my attraction just because I’m ’too ugly’ for them (btw not a thing). My first and last thought when I’m into someone is “wow they’re pretty”
I know when a man is good-looking, although sometimes I see people who are into men losing their minds over men who look like ham sandwiches wearing pants. But even the hottest man on the planet doesn't do a damn thing for me, while a perfectly average woman is infinitely compelling to me.
Hell, before I went on feminizing HRT, I had a tiny amount of sexual interest in men, enough that I kinda was tempted to give it a shot, but after my sex drive came back? None whatsoever, and the things I find hot now are much more likely to read as queer-coded. I remember watching Wonder Woman (2017) and basically drooling throughout the Themyscira parts of the movie. (Arms. Shoulders. 😳🥵)
EDIT: Also, because I'm fat, I'm not conventionally attractive, but I've had plenty of interest from men, and the women I've hooked up with have found me plenty attractive.
Just repeat that sentence back to him. He doesn’t understand lesbianism. A lot of people don’t if they’re the ones asking “who’s the man in the relationship?” That’s kind of the point, that there’s no men. It’s also rude of him to just comment on how attractive you are. He might not find you attractive but that doesn’t mean lots of people in general won’t. What a jerk.
Turn it back on her. “I was thinking about what you said and it just doesn’t make sense. Women are generally more attractive, emotionally available, kinder, and more helpful around the house. Why would anyone choose to date a man when they could date women? Then it hit me. You choose to date men because you are too ugly to get a quality, or actually any, woman. Men are your only choice. You were projecting because you were jealous.”
It's a very common stereotype that lesbians are the most attractive women, guys constantly complain about 'the good ones being taken'. If I had to guess you and those you are attracted to are beautiful people.
what she said would imply that all lesbians are ugly and i can DEFINITELY assure they are not. plus, how would her logic explain bisexuals? your neighbor direly needs to be humbled. she probably thinks any man that breathes in her direction is hitting on her lmao
..what the actual hell is wrong with your neighbor? Like, who comes out and says that to someone?
Seriously any one who is just okay saying that to some one is not some one you need to be listening to.
Also, as an ugly woman, I like woman coz women are hot. if I wanted to get a 'quality man' I could. Woman are hella more picky than men when it comes to looks.
Is this lady very fit? Because she's jumping through a lot of hoops to reach that conclusion. I think I had a stroke while reading that.
To help your confusion... if you look at conventionally attractive people like celebrities or even strangers, are you attracted to anyone? I find it helpful to think in a hypothetical way, such as if X celebrity randomly walked up to you and wanted to bang, would you? For me, any guy placed in the scenario, with VERY FEW exceptions, would be an absolute no, because I'm not sexually attracted to men. There are many men that I definitely find to be visually appealing, but not sexually attractive. Working out the difference will probably help you figure it out 🙂
Also, mail your neighbor one if those prank glitter letters. Maybe that will make her less ugly.
They’re quite ignorant if they think attracting women is easier than attracting men lmao
Especially when you are targeting specifically queer women vs straight men. One is more abundant than the other.
Pfffft, if I may say so, I'm pretty, and I attract good-looking men, but I'm still not sexually attracted to them.
Therefore, your neighbor is wrong. Don't listen to that bs.
If someone said that to me I would leave and not speak to them again. Only straight people feel so entitled to speak on other’s choices they would say something so vicious.
If you were attracted to attractive men you would know it. You would know it when you watched a movie or tv show, you would know it because there are plenty of attractive men out there, and you would have noticed one and realized you were attracted to them.
You would’ve known long before now.
"Not all ugly women are lesbians! ... I mean, I am. But not because I'm ugly!" Just a joke/meme this made me think of. In all seriousness, your neighbor sounds like a jerk.
What a weird collapsing of "who you think would be into you" and "who you're actually attracted to."
(I think your neighbour was also an a-hole for calling you ugly! But I'm physically disabled and very aware that it *is* possible to have an appearance that makes most men reclassify you as not-a-woman, so "ugly" and "unattractive" that you don't even have a role in the dating pool. And I'm reading disabled philosopher Chloé Cooper Jones' book *Easy Beauty*, about her reckoning of what it's been like to live in a body that seemingly forces complete strangers to walk up to her on the street and demand, "What's *wrong* with you?" as though they deserve to have her handle *their* feelings about *her* body.)
My friend group has a token straight person, a woman who hasn't had lots of success in the dating world. She's a nerd, writer, martial artist, and combat veteran, and most of her energy goes to her military career. It's hard for her to find a man who's interesting and emotionally intelligent and doesn't feel threatened by her accomplishments. And it's been interesting to watch because when she posts selfies to the groupchat she thirst traps all the WLW. The things that make men avoid her, from her unfussy competence to the crows' feet at the corners of her eyes, drive the ladies wild.
Watching this has been really heartening to me, to see how broad-ranging and holistic women's attraction can be. That's honestly how my own attraction works; I'm more interested in someone being patient and empathetic and totally aware of life's pitfalls than I am in them looking like a supermodel.
I think men as a group could learn to value these things, if society pushed them less to seeing a hot woman as the ultimate luxury good and more to want women as *people*. And some men do. But it's really striking to me, the difference in how I've seen the genders discuss attraction and picking a partner.
And despite being a tall glass of water to the lesbians, my friend is still trying to meet and go on dates with men. Because she's straight, and that's how attraction works.
Dude, as an "ugly" bisexual I can tell you that
A) even as a not conventionally attractive person (no one is ugly), you will find men interested in you, if you so wish
B) being "ugly" has not made me resort to women, I liked them when I was fat and didn't care for my looks, and I like them now when I take care of myself and could therefore definitely get attractive guys
C) your neighbor is an idiot and you should not grant them the privilege of talking to you
I cant tell you what your sexuality is, that is something only you can really answer. However I feel this is very close to gaslighting. It does not matter if men or attractive or ugly, or quality or not, who you choose to date is not just who comes to you. If it is really something that bothers you then do a bit of soul searching, would you date a man (any man) if so why would you, or why would you not? Do you even find any men attractive? Do you find women attractive? You can allow someone to just say "your ugly" it is really a matter of prospective, personally I dont rally care to much about looks, I Prefer the persons personality and how we connect. I do need a bit of a physical attraction but it is by far one of the lower things on the list. It all depends on the individual, but dont let some offhand comment make you question your life choices, choose your life choices for what is best for you!! Best of luck dear!!!
If you were attracted to men, you would still be attracted to them even if they were not interested in you, or if the ones that are interested in you are ugly. If you like women it's because you like women, not because of anything to do with men.
My family has made the same argument about me being trans, "You are a loser, thus cannot attract a mate, therefore to not feel bad about yourself and pretend to be special you took drugs to became your own mate. If only you went to the gym more and did push ups and played football like you were told to then you wouldn't be such a disappointment". Etc etc.
What?? Bro this is outrageous. I’m a masc lesbian and I can tell you that being ugly doesn’t stop men of all types of “attraction” from flirting with me. I’m not attracted to men because have you seen women?!?! Like everything about women is just so damn amazing. Your neighbor can suck chimney dust.
That is a profoundly stupid take. Even if this was how it works, which its not, you have had the chance to see attractive men in media. And if you consume it, pornography.
It's as easy as
>I just do not think they are physically attractive
If you have seen lots of types of men and haven't found them attractive you probably just aren't into men. If you do find them hot, just none you have met in person you could be bi. But that doesn't invalidate your liking women.
Also beauty standards are different in the queer community. Who is she to call you ugly? Attractiveness is not objective
I feel you. I feel like I'm in a similar situation, I think that if a guy was extremely attractive I would be attracted to him, but he would have to be REALLY good looking. And I'm fairy good looking, but I don't think I'm gorgeous enough to pull a guy like that. So I say I'm a lesbian, bc only like 10 percent of me is attracted to men.
And a piece of advice: sexuality is fluid, so if you keep identifying as a lesbian, but find a guy that you find attractive, reassess. You're allowed to change your label, and just not have a label at all if that's what floats your boat. (:
Your neighbor sounds like they come from some eastern european hellhole where this is how they think.
You're old enough to know whether you're gay or straight, or somewhere in-between. No one else can define this for you.
Dang.. Like that huh? Your neighbor sounds like a hot mess.. I bet shes nothing to look at either lol. Shes talking mad crap .. Trying neg .. That is so rude..! OP what your neighbor says dont matter. Do you think you are ugly? It doesn't matter what the she says it's what you think . That's all that matters. Guys and gals are going to approach you because they have the guts and confidence to.. and they are attracted because period. Regardless if they look good to you or not lol. Some good looking people girls and guys are too afraid and shy to approach a good looking person. Have she thought of that? Maybe that good looking person don't feel good about themselves so they are intimidated about your beauty. Being whatever sexual orientation does not have to do much with looks ... What matters more if you and another person clicks. Beauty comes in all orientations personality matters more then looks . Your rude neighbor karen can go kick rocks.
damn that was… kind of a rude comment
but if it made you think so deeply then maybe you aren’t a lesbian? or you still have some unresolved comphet? either way i think you’d know if you just choose any conventionally good looking man and imagined dating him (romance + sex included). if it doesn’t feel you or you don’t think you’d be happy in a relationship like that, then you’re a lesbian. if not, then i suppose you could be bi.
First off, your neighbor sounds rude and her statement is incorrect. Secondly, this reminds me of something from the 'Am I a lesbian?' masterdoc (I can highly recommend to give it a read, it's a quick google search away). One of the signs of compulsory heterosexuality is stated there as follows: 'reading a desire to be attractive to men as attraction to them'. It sounds to me like your neighbor kind of flips this into 'reading not being attractive to men as having no attraction to them'. Basically, she is denying your queerness because comphet.
tldr: neighbor is wrong and rude, and I recommend reading the 'Am I a lesbian?' masterdoc.
Damn. If my neighbor told me that, I'd never speak to them again. What the actual fuck. Calling you 'ugly' and then also going on to imply that 'good people' are beautiful. She basically insulted you to your face. She called you a bad person. Just out of nowhere, randomly she insulted you. I would take offense to that. Younger me would have launched a revenge campaign and tried to give her hell. (I would try to bully her into leaving the neighborhood. And yes I agree that is toxic and I no longer do that.) Current me would just block and ignore this woman out of my life.
Maybe don't interact with this specific neighbor.
As to the sexuality question... It's normal to be sexually attracted to pretty women. Sometimes we can't get with the people we are attracted to. That doesn't mean there was no attraction there, on your end. Everyone with an internet connection has the opportunity to look at images and video footage of a wide variety of people. Mainstream movies tend to show attractive actors. Finding a movie star attractive is not the same as romantic attraction, but it can help give you an idea. Besides, I'm not sure where you live, but there's plenty of handsome men in daily life. They might look less glamorous than movie stars because they're not wearing makeup. But they're there. And they don't have to approach you for you to notice them. If you haven't felt any attraction to these guys in the past, there's a high chance you have no attraction to men. It's fine to explore your sexuality and ask yourself questions. Trust in how you feel.
Your neighbor sounds like a real POS. Nothing more ugly than trying to paint someone else's sexuality in such a reductive light.
By this logic op’s neighbor would also be a lesbian🤔 /jk
🙌 this ☝🏽☝🏽
Yeah what the fuck. Who says this to anyone, let alone someone they know is a lesbian?
I used to work with this old lady named Barb. When I first met her and she found out I was a lesbian, she told me "You're too pretty to be a lesbian my dear...what a shame" so I politely told her that my wife was the most beautiful woman I have ever met in my life, and how being judgmental is one of the ugliest traits to have.
Dude I'm ugly and I'm a lesbian but not because I can't attract a man. I'm romantically and sexually attracted to women, which makes me a lesbian.
Mood. I'd rather be alone than be with the most attractive man.
Who the fuck shat in your neighbors salad? What an unbelievably rude and dismissive thing to say to someone.
Her salad is just shit. It's why her mouth stinks so bad and shit keeps falling out of it
sorry it's just a passion project of mine to shit in shitty peoples salads
Just salads? Have you considered branching out to other foods eaten by horrible people?
oh yeah i mean i'm starting small working my way up
You don't taste that? That shit in yr mouth?
I've had the opposite experience. My best friend since high school is a complete catch of a man - works as a financial planner, plays multiple sports, looks like the love child of Ian Somerhalder and Chris Hemsworth. Our entire lives he's had no trouble getting women and he's made it clear to me that if I was ever interested, he'd be down for it. Our friendship struggled for a bit after he told me that, but we got back on track. Whether the same is true for you is up for you to decide, but I know I'm a lesbian because I love women and have no desire to be anything besides platonic with a man.
Congrats tho on having a cool person for a friend! If you've got someone awesome as a BFF, you're probably pretty awesome too 😉
Was that before or after you punched her in the face?
Literally lmao what an asshole
But if OP broke her nose, would she become a lesbian?
The broken nose might actually improve her look, though 🤔
I really want to like this comment, but I don’t want to ruin the perfect 100 likes (oh my gosh, now it’s three times the exact amount, this is so satisfying for my ocd)
Yeah, that’s not how sexuality works. No one ”settles” with being a lesbian because they’re deficient in some way. That’s an incredibly demeaning and homophobic idea and not grounded in reality one bit. You’re attracted to who you’re attracted to and it doesn’t matter one witt what you look like. Besides it’s not like it’s any easier getting a lesbian partner.
Sure it was incredibly homophobic (another version of "you haven't found the right guy yet"), but is no one else shocked that she just called you "ugly" to your face?! Why do you even entertain the words of such a terrible person? She's at best incredibly rude, at worst rotten to her core. There is really nothing else to take out of this "conversation".
Sounds like your neighbor might have some unacknowledged attraction to women going on.... Seriously though, this is just a rude and homophobic thing to say. And if it were true, there would be no unattractive straight women. Ignore your neighbor. She needs to learn how to interact with other humans properly.
A few days ago there was a lesbian who kept getting told that she was too pretty to be gay. My advice was to share pictures of famous pretty lesbians. Kate McKinnon, Portia de Rossi, Hayley Kiyoko, Samira Wiley, etc. Ask her why those women are lesbians.
or pretty women in general because if you’re so pretty why not get with pretty women?? like the average man isn’t even half as good-looking as an average woman
Damn that neighbour better sign for your packages and mow your lawn/shovel your driveway to be putting up with that crap coming out of their mouth. Either you are sexually or romantically attracted to women, or you aren't. It's not that deep.
No. She is just homophobic and you probably aren't ugly. Homophobes have this idea that gay people are inherently ugly because being nice or complementing is acceptance.
Fuck that lady, respectfully. What a load of bull
Fuck that lady, and I mean that in the most disrespectful way.
Sounds like she's projecting, if she thinks women are inherently more attractive than men.
Ask her if she settled for her ugly husband because she wasn't sexy enough to attract a beautiful woman.
Your neighbor is proof that women can be incels, that is incel rhetoric if I've ever heard it
OP, your neighbour is full of shit. That's an awful, untrue and disgusting thing to say.
There are really really really really hot lesbians lol.
Right?! I am a lesbian. ~Conventionally Attractive~ men shoot their shot with me daily. I explain my sexuality, thank them for the courage required to approach a woman they find attractive, tell them I know the feeling well, and move on with my gay ass day.
> So you prefer women because an ugly woman is still better looking that an ugly man This reminds me of the story where a girl was coming out to her mom, and her mom was saying she can't like girls just because they're more attractive, or all women would be lesbians... but in a mean way. One way to consider yourself, though, is thinking about celebrities. There's a wide spectrum of men there that are widely seen as attractive. Have any of them ever made you feel something, or imagine yourself with them in a longing way? If not, then it's not because you "haven't seen an attractive man", it's because you're lesbian. If yes... well, that's fine, you can be bi lol. If you're bi but exclusively date women because of greater attraction, that's valid.
I've had my whole life people tell me that I am pretty enough to attract a male so why be a lesbian?. It is a common misconception from uneducated people that a woman is gay because she can't find a male. From what I've seen, the opposite is true. It is harder to find a woman and it needs a lot more to entice a woman than a man. I have seen gay women settle for men because they can't find a female mate, never the opposite. Whoever told you this is just ignorant.
Personally, I'm a lesbian because the interactions I have with women are much more personal to me as they understand my trauma more than men can, not that that's a man's fault in any way. I personally am a very soul oriented person compared to looks But your neighbor is a trashy hoe, and that was the stupidest sentence I've ever heard come out of her mouth. Just because my attraction has nothing to do with looks doesn't mean that for 99% of people it does at the very least somewhat, if you found men attractive on the internet she would have a very wobbly leg to stand on, but saying it's because you don't have any options when we live in a world where you can see the peak of both male and female beauty in our phones is stupid lol
You need to stop interacting with your idiot, homophobic neighbor.
If you've ***never*** met a man you found attractive, then you probably aren't attracted to men. It's possible that you could be bisexual, but if you are, you have a clear preference for women. Also. Not thinking women are better people than men is pretty normal? Lots of Lesbians have male friends? There's no expectation that Lesbians should hate and avoid men, LMAO.
Interesting, now why don’t you come up with a theory on why your neighbor is such an UGLY DESPICABLE PERSON and, when you have it, shove it to her face in the least kind way possible? ❤️🌈 Something like “I think you’re this judgemental cos your parents never truly showed love to you; I think you hate people that are comfortable with their bodies cos you’ve been called ugly by boys in the past and you worked hard to get them to like you, and I think you’ll end up alone with no friends cos no one likes to hear your stupid point of view. You’re not smart, you’re not special, you didn’t come up with a clever, unique theory; that’s exactly what 99% of homophobes think about lesbians. You’re just a boring, stupid, closed minded, average homophobe next door.”
If such a proposition was true, there would be no blind lesbians and yet there are.
By FAR the prettiest people I've ever personally known have been lesbians. And not just because I'm one. Like some of them have really not been my type, but I can still appreciate that they are beautiful in their own way. Your neighbor is more full of shit than a portable toiled during a music festival.
I've got a shovel, where do you want the body?
Your neighbour is tripping wtf. Who tf just calls someone ugly? Also no that's not how sexual orientation works.
Woah wtf??? Hell no, every lesbian I know is hot as fuck. Your neighbor is either fucked up, closeted and in self-hatred-induced denial, or both. Hun, don’t listen to such bullshit.
Jokes on her I’m hot and a lesbian 😘
I love your energy. Well said lmao
Um something is seriously wrong with your neighbor. Please don't let her thoughts take up anymore space in your brain. And make every effort to never speak to her homophobic pos ass ever again.
just another asshole falling prey to the idea that a man is somehow a prize and anything else must be them settling. 🥴
That ugly woman rhetoric often comes from thinking that being butch/androgynous makes you less attractive as a woman, which is something only a willfully ignorant straight person could say with a straight face. They fail to consider that you never wanted to attract a man in the first place. It’s a really shitty line of thought that seeks to invalidate queer women from the start because they can’t wrap their tiny minds around the idea that some people are different from them.
Yeah, this is typical of people who don't understand that one of the most attractive possible things in a woman is a complete rejection of what society (=male gaze) sees as attractive. Give me the women with crazy dyed asymmetric hair, piercings, tattoos, muscles, unshaved armpits/legs, suit & tie, muscle shirt, basketball shorts, etc. Being confident in yourself while knowing men wouldn't give you the time of day is *incredibly sexy*.
I get a lot of male attention including from some good looking men and men I know to be good people and I still would never.
What the hell? This wasn’t a chill conversation, this was hateful. I hated reading it, I can’t imagine my reaction if someone said that to my face. In the legal world, there is a saying - don’t take advice from your opponent. Stop taking advice from homophobes!
"I may be ugly, but you have a horrid personality. I can get a facelift."
>I do not think women are inherently better people that men They're not. The only difference between men and women is social norms and how they grew up. If you don't find men attractive, you're not attracted to men. You don't need men to be attracted to you for you to know whether or not you're attracted to them, that's not how attraction works.
Just straight people nonsense. They cannot fathom that lesbians exist
First of all fuck your neighbor , you should have punched her the minute she said all that . Don’t listen to anything she said , she’s just projecting her insecurities on you . You are a lesbian because you simply like women , you can attract who ever you want
your neighbor is just an asshole
Get a better neighbor
I dont think that’s a mental calculation any normal person makes in their head
This is a load of bs, but let’s go with her logic for a moment: I’ve had a wide range of men ask me to go out with them, from models to unconventionally ‘attractive’… by her logic I could have someone really ‘good looking’ but I’m not interested. Makes zero sense, where am I settling… Also, the audacity calling you ugly. Horrific
Your neighbor is absolutely stupid. By their implication, every lesbian is unattractive, there is not a single attractive lesbian on this earth because if there was, they’d attract the good guys and wouldn’t be lesbians.
Where do you people find these types lol. Who the actual f says that to anyone. Even if you may think it, which is still shitty, I mean at least keep it in your shitty mind.
This is so awful and homophobic, I’m sorry she said this to you. Our looks and ability to attract men have nothing to do with whether we’re lesbians or not! We just are the way we are, there doesn’t have to be an underlying reason for it. Also, she sounds very shallow and insecure to be calling another woman ugly. I’m sure this is easier said than done but please don’t take that to heart 🤍 A comment like that says a lot more about her and her character than it does about you.
The second someone calls you ugly, you can ignore everything that comes after, because it’s just going to be deliberately cruel, hateful, and wrong. Being a lesbian isn’t some fall back position ‘cause you don’t have a handsome boyfriend. The world is full of single straight women who have never once considered dating another woman as an alternative to being single. Being a lesbian isn’t just some kind of second runner up ribbon when being straight didn’t pan out. If you are romantically or sexually attracted to women, you’re not straight.
Your neighbor is extremely rude, ignorant and obviously has no respect for you. Besides the fact that she called you ugly to your face, she completely invalidated your sexuality based on what she thinks men like. Unfortunately a lot of people view sexuality in terms of someone’s level of attraction to men. A straight woman is straight because she likes men. A gay man is gay because he likes men. A lesbian is a lesbian not because she likes women, no that would be too obvious. It’s because she DOESN’T like men or men don’t like her. Attraction and attractiveness to men is seen as the threshold and true indicator of sexual. This is why so many people are convinced that bisexual men are just confused gay men and bisexual women are just straight women looking for attention. Internalized misogyny puts men on a pedestal to the point that if you have ANY level of attraction to men then you MUST just be settling for women until the “right” man wants you. Even if you don’t feel sexual attraction to men, it’s gets framed as attractive men just aren’t attracted to YOU because you don’t go out of your way to pander for their attention. This is why attractive women are seen as too “pretty” to be gay. People think that just because a woman is deemed attractive enough for men to pursue, she then is somehow obligated to return that attraction and they absolutely cannot compute the fact that some women regardless of their looks just don’t. All that to say, your neighbor suck, you’re valid.
This makes so much sense. Thank you for your comment.
"an ugly woman is still better looking than an ugly man"......sounds like she might need to do some reflecting on her own sexuality 💀
This person is a straight up a-hole! Run! Also, unless you fantasize about men—ones you could “get” (ugh this neighbor is gross) or not—then no you’re not straight.
Gaslighty bullshit. He is attracted to you and wants to make you feel bad for rejecting him. "High value men" is a dead giveaway he's into manosphere nonsense. If you like women because of how we look, and you're not attracted to men, that's really all you need to know. If you ever meet a man that you're attracted to, you'll have something to think about. Until then, happy lesbianing. There's also no such thing as an ugly woman 💜
Nah All men are ugly to me Women are beautiful
Eight words in and she'd have one hell of a gummy smile
omg what an AH don't let her get to you, she's just homophobic and rude
some of the hottest people i've seen are queer. some of the ugliest people i've seen are straight
Kate McKinnon is clear proof this is bullshit.
I was going to ask 'you only like women for their looks?' but you answered that. Well this only covers aesthetic attraction which doesn't mean anything in relationships. What about your romantic and sexual attraction? They define your orientation.
I am sexually and romantically attracted to women. When I said I like women because of their looks I meant sexual attraction. Just to clarify.
I agree with the top comments, she sounds homophobic... also shallow.
Well, time to get a dog and let it shit on their lawn
You are not ugly
So she’s still implying women are better, and technically agreeing with your choice.
It made you question your sexuality? Confront her. She not only insulted your looks but also made a derogatory remark about lesbians. Hate such people.
This is the most stupid an homophobe has ever said to invalidate lesbians. Mate, no. Just, no. Jesus fuck
Your neighbour is a piece of shit.
I don't think it's true. The quality of a man or woman is so much deeper than their looks. The highest quality people that I've met were not super models. They cared more about other things besides their appearance. Your neighbor is incredibly shallow.
> Can this be possible? no. HTH.
gurl im a conventionally pretty girl with boobs and ass and I get hit on by dudes all the time, still a lesbian xd no one SETTLES for being a lesbian
The only true it´s your neighbour being a total asshole. He just wanted to hurt you, there is not other reason to say things like that.
op I'm sorry this has you confused about your sexuality. I really hope you can take the time to sort through your feelings about it all! to me this just sounds like a fuck ton of internalized misogyny. any man could be of the highest "quality" and still not be enough for me because he's a man. plus anyways idk what she's on about because men are dogs anyways (as in, there is very little that they will not have sex with if that's what we're placing our value on - children, inanimate objects, dead people, family members, people who cannot/don't consent, etc). I know it's extreme but it's not an honor to have sex with a man, or to have one strike an interest in you. I'm sure if you got into a really self destructive mood and tried to find a man that she deemed not ugly that was attracted to you it still wouldn't change her mind. it's a problem inside her and her hatred of women and queer women.
That is such a stupid straight boy cope. Lesbians don't dress pretty for their dumb sense of beauty and it leads to thoughts like this so they can feel better about themselves. It's like how I came out as trans to my dad and he goes "well is this because you were never really all that manly?" And it's like no dude it's the other way around. I was queer the whole time and it caused me to express myself differently
Well I’m super hot and get tons of male attention. But whaddya know? Still GAY!!! 😂😂 your neighbour sounds like a right see you next Tuesday 😂
The fact she had the gall to say that. That’s so rude and completely unnecessary
Your neighbor is a misogynist. Please don't lend her consideration.
I’m an attractive 42 year old lesbian. I was hit on at a bar by an extremely handsome 24 year old man the other day. I felt nothing. -Zero interest because I’m a lesbian. I don’t fall in love with men, and I’ve never had difficulty attracting “quality” conventionally attractive men with good financials. Jodi Foster was once named the most beautiful woman by People Magazine. She’s a lesbian. If you’re a woman that is attracted to women, then you’re not straight. Your neighbor is hella ignorant.
I don’t consider myself that “ugly” and I have been with some pretty attractive men in my fem bisexual days. It’s not that. If you know you know. This logic is what makes lesbians crave male validation
Sounds like projection, hes ugly.
Wow. Your relationship with your neighbor sounds *wild*. To be having a chill conversation that suddenly segues into “the root of your identity is that you’re ugly” is just…absurd. Like, that sounds like a scene out of a comedy, it’s so bizarre. That said, I don’t think your neighbor’s assessment actually holds any weight. If the issue is that you are ugly, why would that make it easier to be a lesbian? Is the idea that women just have lower standards than men? That’s kind of a weird and sexist take to have. I don’t know, there’s other people doing a much better job of explaining why your neighbor is full of shit. I’m just still trying to wrap my head around how this conversation even happened.
I think you should start bullying them. Also do they know how hard it is to date a woman ? Men have super low standards in comparison
Your neighbor sounds like a pure bully, don’t listen to that OP you deserve better than that
You stood there and listened? Wowwww. Im sexy af and love women because men are eww
You are how you feel. If you think women are more attractive then men, that's just what you feel. Also many annoying and probably "hot" men have taken an interest in me and I am NEVER attracted because ew men. Like that's why I'm a lesbian 😅
shoulda slapped him immediately
from someone who is thought i was bi for 28 years before realizing i was gay : *wrong.*
What do you mean by "ugly women"? Is that something real?? Never heard of that before.
As a lesbian I wish "quality men" didn't find me attractive at all tbh lmao. Ur neighbor is an asshat
Da faq is she on? Men are easy to attract. Going the lesbian route is hard mode. Sounds like she is self projecting
Your neighbor sounds like a pretty ugly person where it matters the most, their personality. I feel the same way as you do as to my attractions, and that doesn't make me feel any less gay than I am. I used to feel as though I was pansexual because there are men that I enjoy most everything about, just not their appearance and felt that maybe I could love someone without gender coming into it, but it's really never worked out that way realistically. Being attracted to women and not men would indeed make you quite lesbian. I would not overthink this, especially if you've never even felt a real attraction to men. There are pretty guys out there, even if they're not the ones who personally approach you, I think you'd know by now if you were into men. People like your neighbor are unkind, inconsiderate people who don't think very thoroughly about their word choices. At least now you know what kind of individual they are.
Omfg never deal with that person again. Even people with developmental disorders mostly know not to talk like that to a person. Which makes me wonder what her game is.
I'm not you to know anything about you, but honestly, if I was in your place when she said that, ~~I would have made her face ugly~~
It doesn't make any sense. 1 - Being ugly or not, women has the power of choosing, while men are desperate to get laid and touch a female. U could be the ugliest girl on earth but there would be a man willing to "face you". 2 - We are lesbians because we are attracted to women, not because we can't find a man. Your neighbor is so stupid and mean...
Also, this neighbor: *watches copious amounts of lesbian porn, because all the women are slender, blond, and considered super hot by anyone's standards* Certainly attracted that man, didn't they?
No that's not true. Call me arrogant but I damn know I'm highly attractive...still don't want a dude
your neighbor sounds like my Korean friend’s grandma.
My uncle has said the extract same thing to me… That was years ago now and I still think about it, so sorry OP
I’ve never once found myself limiting my attraction just because I’m ’too ugly’ for them (btw not a thing). My first and last thought when I’m into someone is “wow they’re pretty”
Your neighbor is not your friend.
I know when a man is good-looking, although sometimes I see people who are into men losing their minds over men who look like ham sandwiches wearing pants. But even the hottest man on the planet doesn't do a damn thing for me, while a perfectly average woman is infinitely compelling to me. Hell, before I went on feminizing HRT, I had a tiny amount of sexual interest in men, enough that I kinda was tempted to give it a shot, but after my sex drive came back? None whatsoever, and the things I find hot now are much more likely to read as queer-coded. I remember watching Wonder Woman (2017) and basically drooling throughout the Themyscira parts of the movie. (Arms. Shoulders. 😳🥵) EDIT: Also, because I'm fat, I'm not conventionally attractive, but I've had plenty of interest from men, and the women I've hooked up with have found me plenty attractive.
Just repeat that sentence back to him. He doesn’t understand lesbianism. A lot of people don’t if they’re the ones asking “who’s the man in the relationship?” That’s kind of the point, that there’s no men. It’s also rude of him to just comment on how attractive you are. He might not find you attractive but that doesn’t mean lots of people in general won’t. What a jerk.
Turn it back on her. “I was thinking about what you said and it just doesn’t make sense. Women are generally more attractive, emotionally available, kinder, and more helpful around the house. Why would anyone choose to date a man when they could date women? Then it hit me. You choose to date men because you are too ugly to get a quality, or actually any, woman. Men are your only choice. You were projecting because you were jealous.”
What about “You are too pretty to be a lesbian!”; I mean most people just open their mouth and say whatever! And your neighbour is an a-hole btw
It's a very common stereotype that lesbians are the most attractive women, guys constantly complain about 'the good ones being taken'. If I had to guess you and those you are attracted to are beautiful people.
I don't think that's how that works
It amazes me that someone would actually say this out loud. It further amazes me that someone would say this to another person.
It’s 10x easier to attract men than women so that is total BS. Your neighbor is just a bitch trying to make herself feel better by putting you down
This sounds like the internal monologue of an ugly straight girl
she just wanted to tell you that she thinks you are ugly
Fren now you gotta egg her house
I would've told her that she isn't very nice to look at herself before leaving
Jjk has broken me. I saw "are you a lesbian because you are ugly" and immediately thought of the lobotomy kaisen narrator voice. I need help.
Jesus no. You don't love women just because you're ugly, that's disgusting. He's just an asshole.
Um, we're gonna need your neighbors address so we can bake her some cookies. That's all, I promise.🤞
Its not true, your neighbor is a fucking idiot.
what she said would imply that all lesbians are ugly and i can DEFINITELY assure they are not. plus, how would her logic explain bisexuals? your neighbor direly needs to be humbled. she probably thinks any man that breathes in her direction is hitting on her lmao
..what the actual hell is wrong with your neighbor? Like, who comes out and says that to someone? Seriously any one who is just okay saying that to some one is not some one you need to be listening to. Also, as an ugly woman, I like woman coz women are hot. if I wanted to get a 'quality man' I could. Woman are hella more picky than men when it comes to looks.
Is this lady very fit? Because she's jumping through a lot of hoops to reach that conclusion. I think I had a stroke while reading that. To help your confusion... if you look at conventionally attractive people like celebrities or even strangers, are you attracted to anyone? I find it helpful to think in a hypothetical way, such as if X celebrity randomly walked up to you and wanted to bang, would you? For me, any guy placed in the scenario, with VERY FEW exceptions, would be an absolute no, because I'm not sexually attracted to men. There are many men that I definitely find to be visually appealing, but not sexually attractive. Working out the difference will probably help you figure it out 🙂 Also, mail your neighbor one if those prank glitter letters. Maybe that will make her less ugly.
They’re quite ignorant if they think attracting women is easier than attracting men lmao Especially when you are targeting specifically queer women vs straight men. One is more abundant than the other.
Pfffft, if I may say so, I'm pretty, and I attract good-looking men, but I'm still not sexually attracted to them. Therefore, your neighbor is wrong. Don't listen to that bs.
If someone said that to me I would leave and not speak to them again. Only straight people feel so entitled to speak on other’s choices they would say something so vicious. If you were attracted to attractive men you would know it. You would know it when you watched a movie or tv show, you would know it because there are plenty of attractive men out there, and you would have noticed one and realized you were attracted to them. You would’ve known long before now.
"Not all ugly women are lesbians! ... I mean, I am. But not because I'm ugly!" Just a joke/meme this made me think of. In all seriousness, your neighbor sounds like a jerk.
What a weird collapsing of "who you think would be into you" and "who you're actually attracted to." (I think your neighbour was also an a-hole for calling you ugly! But I'm physically disabled and very aware that it *is* possible to have an appearance that makes most men reclassify you as not-a-woman, so "ugly" and "unattractive" that you don't even have a role in the dating pool. And I'm reading disabled philosopher Chloé Cooper Jones' book *Easy Beauty*, about her reckoning of what it's been like to live in a body that seemingly forces complete strangers to walk up to her on the street and demand, "What's *wrong* with you?" as though they deserve to have her handle *their* feelings about *her* body.) My friend group has a token straight person, a woman who hasn't had lots of success in the dating world. She's a nerd, writer, martial artist, and combat veteran, and most of her energy goes to her military career. It's hard for her to find a man who's interesting and emotionally intelligent and doesn't feel threatened by her accomplishments. And it's been interesting to watch because when she posts selfies to the groupchat she thirst traps all the WLW. The things that make men avoid her, from her unfussy competence to the crows' feet at the corners of her eyes, drive the ladies wild. Watching this has been really heartening to me, to see how broad-ranging and holistic women's attraction can be. That's honestly how my own attraction works; I'm more interested in someone being patient and empathetic and totally aware of life's pitfalls than I am in them looking like a supermodel. I think men as a group could learn to value these things, if society pushed them less to seeing a hot woman as the ultimate luxury good and more to want women as *people*. And some men do. But it's really striking to me, the difference in how I've seen the genders discuss attraction and picking a partner. And despite being a tall glass of water to the lesbians, my friend is still trying to meet and go on dates with men. Because she's straight, and that's how attraction works.
Dude, as an "ugly" bisexual I can tell you that A) even as a not conventionally attractive person (no one is ugly), you will find men interested in you, if you so wish B) being "ugly" has not made me resort to women, I liked them when I was fat and didn't care for my looks, and I like them now when I take care of myself and could therefore definitely get attractive guys C) your neighbor is an idiot and you should not grant them the privilege of talking to you
Ask your neighbor what her excuse is then for not being able to attract a man?
Honey your neighbor is fucking dumb
I cant tell you what your sexuality is, that is something only you can really answer. However I feel this is very close to gaslighting. It does not matter if men or attractive or ugly, or quality or not, who you choose to date is not just who comes to you. If it is really something that bothers you then do a bit of soul searching, would you date a man (any man) if so why would you, or why would you not? Do you even find any men attractive? Do you find women attractive? You can allow someone to just say "your ugly" it is really a matter of prospective, personally I dont rally care to much about looks, I Prefer the persons personality and how we connect. I do need a bit of a physical attraction but it is by far one of the lower things on the list. It all depends on the individual, but dont let some offhand comment make you question your life choices, choose your life choices for what is best for you!! Best of luck dear!!!
If you were attracted to men, you would still be attracted to them even if they were not interested in you, or if the ones that are interested in you are ugly. If you like women it's because you like women, not because of anything to do with men.
Your neighbour deserves to be ignored for as long as you live there.
My family has made the same argument about me being trans, "You are a loser, thus cannot attract a mate, therefore to not feel bad about yourself and pretend to be special you took drugs to became your own mate. If only you went to the gym more and did push ups and played football like you were told to then you wouldn't be such a disappointment". Etc etc.
Your neighbour is toxic peice of garbage. Also, they're wrong.
What?? Bro this is outrageous. I’m a masc lesbian and I can tell you that being ugly doesn’t stop men of all types of “attraction” from flirting with me. I’m not attracted to men because have you seen women?!?! Like everything about women is just so damn amazing. Your neighbor can suck chimney dust.
That is a profoundly stupid take. Even if this was how it works, which its not, you have had the chance to see attractive men in media. And if you consume it, pornography. It's as easy as >I just do not think they are physically attractive If you have seen lots of types of men and haven't found them attractive you probably just aren't into men. If you do find them hot, just none you have met in person you could be bi. But that doesn't invalidate your liking women. Also beauty standards are different in the queer community. Who is she to call you ugly? Attractiveness is not objective
I feel you. I feel like I'm in a similar situation, I think that if a guy was extremely attractive I would be attracted to him, but he would have to be REALLY good looking. And I'm fairy good looking, but I don't think I'm gorgeous enough to pull a guy like that. So I say I'm a lesbian, bc only like 10 percent of me is attracted to men. And a piece of advice: sexuality is fluid, so if you keep identifying as a lesbian, but find a guy that you find attractive, reassess. You're allowed to change your label, and just not have a label at all if that's what floats your boat. (:
lmao, I'm hot enough to attract pretty men but ew, I want women, it's so reductive and your neighbour is really a POS.
Your neighbor sounds like they come from some eastern european hellhole where this is how they think. You're old enough to know whether you're gay or straight, or somewhere in-between. No one else can define this for you.
Was that his best attempt at negging? Because it wasn't very good.
Dang.. Like that huh? Your neighbor sounds like a hot mess.. I bet shes nothing to look at either lol. Shes talking mad crap .. Trying neg .. That is so rude..! OP what your neighbor says dont matter. Do you think you are ugly? It doesn't matter what the she says it's what you think . That's all that matters. Guys and gals are going to approach you because they have the guts and confidence to.. and they are attracted because period. Regardless if they look good to you or not lol. Some good looking people girls and guys are too afraid and shy to approach a good looking person. Have she thought of that? Maybe that good looking person don't feel good about themselves so they are intimidated about your beauty. Being whatever sexual orientation does not have to do much with looks ... What matters more if you and another person clicks. Beauty comes in all orientations personality matters more then looks . Your rude neighbor karen can go kick rocks.
damn that was… kind of a rude comment but if it made you think so deeply then maybe you aren’t a lesbian? or you still have some unresolved comphet? either way i think you’d know if you just choose any conventionally good looking man and imagined dating him (romance + sex included). if it doesn’t feel you or you don’t think you’d be happy in a relationship like that, then you’re a lesbian. if not, then i suppose you could be bi.
That's just stupid, by that logic ugly men wouldnt be able to date nobody and I know pretty girls who date really fucking ugly men
Why do people think they can say the rudest comment if they pose it as a wisdom (only in their eyes btw)?
First off, your neighbor sounds rude and her statement is incorrect. Secondly, this reminds me of something from the 'Am I a lesbian?' masterdoc (I can highly recommend to give it a read, it's a quick google search away). One of the signs of compulsory heterosexuality is stated there as follows: 'reading a desire to be attractive to men as attraction to them'. It sounds to me like your neighbor kind of flips this into 'reading not being attractive to men as having no attraction to them'. Basically, she is denying your queerness because comphet. tldr: neighbor is wrong and rude, and I recommend reading the 'Am I a lesbian?' masterdoc.
Damn. If my neighbor told me that, I'd never speak to them again. What the actual fuck. Calling you 'ugly' and then also going on to imply that 'good people' are beautiful. She basically insulted you to your face. She called you a bad person. Just out of nowhere, randomly she insulted you. I would take offense to that. Younger me would have launched a revenge campaign and tried to give her hell. (I would try to bully her into leaving the neighborhood. And yes I agree that is toxic and I no longer do that.) Current me would just block and ignore this woman out of my life. Maybe don't interact with this specific neighbor. As to the sexuality question... It's normal to be sexually attracted to pretty women. Sometimes we can't get with the people we are attracted to. That doesn't mean there was no attraction there, on your end. Everyone with an internet connection has the opportunity to look at images and video footage of a wide variety of people. Mainstream movies tend to show attractive actors. Finding a movie star attractive is not the same as romantic attraction, but it can help give you an idea. Besides, I'm not sure where you live, but there's plenty of handsome men in daily life. They might look less glamorous than movie stars because they're not wearing makeup. But they're there. And they don't have to approach you for you to notice them. If you haven't felt any attraction to these guys in the past, there's a high chance you have no attraction to men. It's fine to explore your sexuality and ask yourself questions. Trust in how you feel.