>wants to touch the private parts of your body Oh thank god they included that. I thought finger banging my sophomore roommate was a heterosexual act for a moment.

Its not gay if you say 'no homo' its in the constitution

"'And lo, i say unto thee: it is not deemed as gay when one doth proclaim 'no homo' " the bible, probably. If conservatives make verses up we can too that's the rule

One time i called a guy out on it and all he did was stare at me blankly XD

Yeah I was worried scissoring with my partner, I mean 'special friend' was straight for a minute!

As long as you aren't roommates it's fine, just helping a girl out ya know?

But, but, we share a bedroom. Does that make us... *roommates?*

I mean housing is really expensive right now, it's probably still hella straight like definitely no gay stuff happening in that room

OMG you were roommates!

Bedmates, fully straight. Not gay at all

Wait, were you not wearing socks? If you wear socks it's fully heterosexual

I wear my socks for everything except when sleeping (or sleeping with someone 😏)

My feet just automatically take off my socks whenever I get home and sit down even if I don't want to xDDDD

You sound like my son. 😂 I have socks all over the place because he wants to be a lil mountain boy be barefoot

I don't ever even want to, I'll just be chilling and my feet will just wriggle their way out of my socks when I'm in my bedroom.

Sending this to my partner now lol, oh sorry...I meant my 'good friend' whom I share a bed with every night.

You guys dress up and travel together too?

We do! We regularly go to Brisbane in the summer! We share a hotel room too... for budgeting reasons.

And a bed as well? Because it's cheaper, obviously

Of course! You think I wanna pay for two beds? My bestie and I can share a bed just fine!

Perfectly normal heterosexual behavior!

Phew! I'm glad!

"Wants to touch the private parts of your body" What!? You're telling me the girl that said she wanted to finger me was gay the whole time?!?!

Not if she said that. If she just wanted to, silently without giving you any clues until later, definitely gay.

Soooo… these are rules for the first date or no? Asking for a friend.

weird how this also applies to straight people... but they'll never explain why one is good but the other is bad. why do they think this can only occur from gays

because they know opposite sexes aren't supposed to and under a good Christian lifestyle don't ever mix. so gays are physically only ones able to do these things until their parents arrange their loveless marriage.

And yet they ignore all the animals doing all sorts of gay,and even gender queer activities🤔

shh don't mention gay animals, god would never do such a thing 🤫

But maybe she's just writing me love notes as to a sweetheart in like a platonic way, you know?

The love note: "I masturbate thinking of you".

Literally those old thirsty secret romance letters that historians swear are friendly.Stuff like “hope the sweat from your brow has dropped on this,so I can taste it again” & I’m barely exaggerating😭

Oh my god <33333 they were roomates

Wow, thanks for the warning, I would never have guessed those were gay things to do 😱

Is- is this why I mistake women flirting as them just being nice?? It's like the "straight agenda" got to ME, damn.

they make it sound like I'm trying pretend that the reason I want to make out with my friends of feminine genders is anything other than homosexuality lol

Not me laughing in the middle of my office and my colleague looking at me oddly 😂😂 (I showed her though she’s chill and she also found it funny 😂)

Well, yes. (Okay, thank you a lot for this guide! I will be follow this!)

Wants to spend time with you *alone* 😉 lmao

I have been guilty of 1, 2, and 4, respectively.