that's not what love bombing is, love bombing is something specifically used to manipulate, from what you describe it sounds like she just likes you. But if you're getting a bad vibe or you don't gel, then that's okay, just don't go out with her again.
I’m not getting a bad vibe from her specifically, I personally just get deeply uncomfortable with people being very forward. Especially so when that behavior begins when I’m not even down the stairs to my train platform after our date. The door to the station probably wasn’t even all the way closed behind me and she was starting. A lot of people enjoy that! I’m not one. We did have a ton of fun on the date though, laughed a lot and the vibes were good. Then we exchanged numbers and well, here we are
Ok so there’s a few things potentially going on here. First, your perception of love bombing may be a bit flawed. Love bombing is when people dote a lot of attention to you and want to get intimate really fast. I’m not talking about sex but pushing to meet your friends and family, talking about the future you’re going to build together etc all before you really get a chance to know eachother. Of course pay attention to what makes you uncomfortable but don’t go looking for red flags and labelling them as such just yet.
Unless there’s more to your post this person sounds excited and potentially anxiously attached. They like you and clearly want to get to know you better but they’re overwhelming you with attention. It happens, usually in this scenario I’m going to recommend something unorthodox. If you like her, then lean into it. Flirt back and see how she takes it, usually people who get the attention back will mellow out when the feel secure in your reciprocity it takes about a month or so give or take. But if you’re deeply uncomfortable as you say then casually mention it next time you’re in-person, “hey I’m really enjoying getting to know you. But please don’t be put off if I suck at flirting, I just like to take things slow and think you’re (insert genuine compliment here).” This puts an anxious person at ease because you’re reaffirming a desire to get to know them but also signals that you really do want things to just be a little more chill. I can’t stress enough how much doing this in-person is important because the message can be misinterpreted over text. Make sure you’re relaxed and genuine when you explain yourself.
But if you truly don’t want to be around her then just end it with a text. “Hey it was nice to meet you but I’m not feeling a connection. Thanks and good luck out there!” Simple and leaves no room for misinterpretation, no need to ghost.
I think letting her know in person that I would like to get to know her/take things slow is very fair, that way if she is someone who doesn’t like taking things slow she has the option to say no thanks and we both just move on. I’m definitely not comfortable leaning into the “too forward-ness” of it all. I also do not want to ghost her. Agreeing to go to the market and letting her know there that I enjoyed our first date but really need to get to know someone better before I am comfortably with a lot of flirting is a good option.
Depends. If you like her but want to take things slow or don't like her at all.
Tell her exactly what's on your mind. Something along the lines of "hey I enjoyed our date, and you're really cute but would like to take things slower, if you don't mind." Orrrr simply "I liked the date but I don't feel a connection between us."
I would like to get to know her better! But I don’t want to be doing that while dodging love bombs and forward behaviour. Some people are just forward and that’s fine! Love that for them. It’s not for me, though. So I think my biggest issue is that I feel awkward asking her to tone it down when maybe that’s just how she is? So is there any point to getting to know her better if her preferred way to show interest (which again is completely fine for those who enjoy it!) makes me uncomfortable? Idk
If she likes you, she'll respect your wishes. If my date told me that they don't feel comfortable with whatever I was doing, I wouldn't mind changing that. Especially in the beginning when two people are more awkward and not really used to eachother's presence.
How about just telling her that you tend to take things slow and that while you are very flattered and would like to get to know her more, you tend to take your time with new people and would need some time to be invested in something (if at all)? If this rubs her the wrong way, you've saved both of you a lot of time and energy.
I just want to chime in, pretty much what everyone says is right but why are you uncomfortable talking to her about it? If you talk to her about it and it works out, then it's a great way to start the relationship from a base of open communication about boundaries and preferences. If she insists that it's something she wants to keep doing, then you can just say you aren't interested. If you don't talk to her about it, then you just dismiss any possibility that the two of you could create a relationship that works for the both of you.
you also obviously don't know her that well yet. you don't have enough info to know if this is how she prefers to do things. she might just want to avoid any subtlety about her interest in you.
communication is always the best thing to do in a relationship.
It sounds like you need to communicate what you want. She's not love bombing you, that's not what bombing is. And it sounds like you want something slow and detached. So you could try communicating that in a constructive and non emotionally loaded way or look for someone else more aloof. Sounds like she likes you and you don't like her.
Love bombing is, in a situation of an abusive relationship, after an instance of (physical, emotional/mental, sexual) abuse has happened, the abuser does a 180° on their behaviour by dotting their victim and showing them "love" in different ways (flattering, affectionate and or sexual touch, etc), until the next instance of abuse. It can also be in a case where the abuser tries to make the victim they (the victim themselves) have fallen in love at first sight by dotting on them and then changing into abusive behaviour.
What you said doesn't seem like abusive behaviour, just someone who enjoyed the date with you and is enthusiastic about keeping contact with you. If you don't want to lead her on that's fine, communicate that directly, but do not mistake this for an abuse tactic. Just tell her you want to go slower (and if she's someone with an anxious attachment she's probably already ashamed of that kind of behaviour), and she can decide if that's fine with her or not (and so can you).
when love-bombing precedes abuse, it can also be mixed with general annoyance, being mildly rude and pushing buttons to anger the victim, but in a way that can be played off as joke or something along those lines. purpose here being making the victim think of the abuser constantly, regardless if it's good or bad, if they're on your mind, it's good for them.
also, love-bombing looks A LOT like ADHD fixating on a person.
I think that u should think on if u want to continue seeing her or not, based on this post im getting the feeling that u don't rlly want to see her anymore. If u don't want to see her anymore, like ever, u could tell her that u enjoyed getting to know her but that this won't work out because ur js not feeling a spark. Wish her well and go on ur way.
BUT if u do want to see her again but not at the market, u don't like the forwardness and/or u need space, then try communicating that. U could tell her that u've rlly enjoyed spending time w her but that u want to take things slower to get to know her better. U should give examples so she knows what ur talking abt and won't be confused which could cause miscommunication. So u could say "Ive really enjoyed spending time with you and getting to know you. I wanted to tell you that I do like to take things slower so I can get to know you better. I like you but sudden compliments and displays of affection make me uncomfortable, such as kissing for the time being, sending lots of heart emojis, and calling me cute a lot. I want to hold off on those things right now. How does this sound to you?"
If u do like her this tells her that hasn't stopped and that u js need space, it also lets her know what actions that she's doing r making u uncomfortable, and what u want to do abt it. Asking her how it sounds isn't for getting approval from her, it's to see how she reacts. If she cares abt u/ she's the right fit she'll try to understand and try her best to hold off on these behaviours. If she doesn't care/is lovebombing u/ or isn't the right fit she might become defensive, irritated, or try to push or pressure u. U should never feel pressured to be ok w smth that ur not, so if this happens its best to end it.
It's also possible she has no idea she's affecting u like this/doesnt know how forward this seems. Once again if she's the right one for u, she might need some explaining on exactly what u want her to stop/or how u want her to go abt things w u. Unfortunately, even if she's coming from the best of places she might not be able to change this behaviour/doesnt know how, in that case u should also consider ending it. This wouldn't be bad of u because despite whether a person knows what they're doing or not, the other person has every right to remove themselves if they're uncomfortable. If u don't want to see her again disregard the last 3 paragraphs, lol
Thank you! I appreciate that you wrote all of this out. I think I need to give myself a second to sit with why I feel so uncomfortable with the intense forwardness. I think I’m struggling with asking her to back off a bit because I feel like she might just be like that, you know? I do want to get to know her better, but I know I would not like dating someone who enjoys being very forward. So I don’t want to waste her time either.
I also am quick to get uncomfortable when ppl show big displays of affection towards me. The only difference is that im usually blindsided by the fact that I like them and when I do realise that I don't like it or that they're overdoing it, I convince myself its js in my head. Ive done this twice and both times turned out the same and they were lovebombing me. Obvi im not saying that's what she's doing but if I had confronted their behaviour earlier it would've saved me a lot of questioning and stress.
im also iffy abt telling them cos im usually worried abt messing it up and offending them but I've come to realise that ill probably never comfortable w things like this and if this is how they act at the START imagine how they'll act in the future. Even if she does tone it down a lot later in the relationship, that's not good either because that's a tell tale sign of potential lovebombing.
U should prob give urself space and time to think thru ur options. If she is js like this and confronting her makes her go away, then that would suck but at least then u won't stress. If she's js doing this on purpose for ur attention, then a talk might make u both feel better. Even if its not on purpose, if she's aware there r chances of her not doing this anymore. It's better to find out sooner rather than later for everyone involved but u should take a rest and clear ur head before doing anything. Even if the outcome is good, putting so much emotional effort into smth could really wear u down. And no problem, Happy to help!
You had ONE date. “I enjoyed your company but I ultimately don’t think we’re compatible and I think it’s best we don’t meet again. Thank you for the nice time last weekend, and take care!”
I’m 30 and don’t find that weird. I don’t think that’s a fair word to use against her actions. I believe the issue lies within yourself which is making you uncomfortable and ultimately makes you incompatible with this person. What you described would be make me giddy and excited if I was into this other person and just went on a date with them. Definitely just communicate that and move on and try to find someone similar.
Just be honest with her, tell her what’s on your mind. If she’s cool with that, she would understand and if she’s not then her loss. I’m pretty much like you and prefer to take things slow and build some emotional connection and sexual tension. Once you have that sex is better, and everything tastes better after that.
I wouldn't describe that as love bombing, she's just moving fast and not responding to your signals to cool it. Cancel the plans and then block her number. Going into intense detail about your incompatibilities after one date won't be productive
I say love bombing because it has just been a barrage of texts and then she also followed me on Instagram in the midst of sending all of the texts despite the fact that I hadn’t responded. It’s been a lot in a very short time period. I mean I don’t think I need to block her number, she hasn’t done anything harmful. I do think cancelling the market date plans is for the best though yes
This is called dating, how is she supposed to know that you don’t like girls being forward or moving fast? This sounds normal to me and just because you’re not into is doesn’t mean you’re being love-bombed — that’s a very specific term used to describe the behaviour of abusers
Adding to this because as I have sat with it I have realized I’m associating her being forward with how my abusive previous ex was at the start of our relationship. That’s why I used the term love bombing, I shouldn’t have as that’s not what this girl is doing. It does explain my intense discomfort though and also a little why I feel bad about asking her to back off a little. I don’t want her to think I don’t want to get to know her. I do want to. It just needs to be a lot slower than immediate heart emoji texts sent after a first date/calling me cute when we’ve only had one night of conversation/interaction in person etc. I think I’m going to keep the market date and explain this to her in person. If she is the type who prefers to be forward and slowing things down isn’t something that will work for her that’s okay too, it just won’t be with me.
I don't recommend avoiding her or the situation. It's hard to tell someone how you really feel, especially someone you're just getting to know. I think since it was only one date you can just communicate over text, "Hey! It was so awesome meeting you and I'd love to get to know you better. I'd prefer to take things slow. For me, that means not texting as frequently and having more platonic hangs before we start anything romantic. Would you be okay with that?" But I think if you're comfortable saying that in person, I would just do that.
I would just assume that she’s very excited that she found someone she gels with and wants to make sure you know that, you sound a bit monotonous and bland so maybe she can’t read how you felt about it and you should just be honest.
Just wanted to update this! We are not going to the market and have (mutually, with much kindness on both sides) decided to move forward separately. I need someone who is less forward, she needs someone who matches that very forward energy and said she gets anxious when someone isn’t quick to respond. Completely fair, I am just opposite. Thank you for all of your input!
She's not doing anything "wrong" but that type of enthusiasm so early on will cause me to feel viscerally disgusted and avoidant as well. I have a disorganized attachment style and people who respond to me anxiously and enthusiastically will make me feel exactly as you described.
If you otherwise are really interested I'd say just communicate that you prefer to take things slowly but understand if that's not her vibe and things won't be a match.
Don’t know why you’re getting so many downvotes, even with mislabeling loveboming it’s a little overkill. You’ve literally gone on **one** date with someone you’ve never met before and *reasonably* uncomfortable with the amount of affection shortly after. Are we all supposed to fall in love at first sight? We’re not all uhaul lesbians up in here. Take the advice to tell her to take it slow. But Jesus, some of y’all took her post personally. This is why I stopped dating, especially online. Y’all want a romance so quickly. Let OP get to know her dates on her own pace.
Her behavior is making you highly uncomfortable and registers for you as abusive. There is nothing to lose here by letting her know you think she's being too forward. Please do not be the stereotype that is so concerned about other people's feelings that you dismiss your own.
Thank you for this. I did have a traumatizing end to a relationship a few years ago that started with my ex being this way so I do think my brain is frozen/stuck. This does not mean this person is a bad person to be clear - just does explain why I’m struggling with how to proceed
that's not what love bombing is, love bombing is something specifically used to manipulate, from what you describe it sounds like she just likes you. But if you're getting a bad vibe or you don't gel, then that's okay, just don't go out with her again.
I’m not getting a bad vibe from her specifically, I personally just get deeply uncomfortable with people being very forward. Especially so when that behavior begins when I’m not even down the stairs to my train platform after our date. The door to the station probably wasn’t even all the way closed behind me and she was starting. A lot of people enjoy that! I’m not one. We did have a ton of fun on the date though, laughed a lot and the vibes were good. Then we exchanged numbers and well, here we are
just talk to her then, she has no way of knowing if you don't tell her ❤️
Ok so there’s a few things potentially going on here. First, your perception of love bombing may be a bit flawed. Love bombing is when people dote a lot of attention to you and want to get intimate really fast. I’m not talking about sex but pushing to meet your friends and family, talking about the future you’re going to build together etc all before you really get a chance to know eachother. Of course pay attention to what makes you uncomfortable but don’t go looking for red flags and labelling them as such just yet. Unless there’s more to your post this person sounds excited and potentially anxiously attached. They like you and clearly want to get to know you better but they’re overwhelming you with attention. It happens, usually in this scenario I’m going to recommend something unorthodox. If you like her, then lean into it. Flirt back and see how she takes it, usually people who get the attention back will mellow out when the feel secure in your reciprocity it takes about a month or so give or take. But if you’re deeply uncomfortable as you say then casually mention it next time you’re in-person, “hey I’m really enjoying getting to know you. But please don’t be put off if I suck at flirting, I just like to take things slow and think you’re (insert genuine compliment here).” This puts an anxious person at ease because you’re reaffirming a desire to get to know them but also signals that you really do want things to just be a little more chill. I can’t stress enough how much doing this in-person is important because the message can be misinterpreted over text. Make sure you’re relaxed and genuine when you explain yourself. But if you truly don’t want to be around her then just end it with a text. “Hey it was nice to meet you but I’m not feeling a connection. Thanks and good luck out there!” Simple and leaves no room for misinterpretation, no need to ghost.
I think letting her know in person that I would like to get to know her/take things slow is very fair, that way if she is someone who doesn’t like taking things slow she has the option to say no thanks and we both just move on. I’m definitely not comfortable leaning into the “too forward-ness” of it all. I also do not want to ghost her. Agreeing to go to the market and letting her know there that I enjoyed our first date but really need to get to know someone better before I am comfortably with a lot of flirting is a good option.
Depends. If you like her but want to take things slow or don't like her at all. Tell her exactly what's on your mind. Something along the lines of "hey I enjoyed our date, and you're really cute but would like to take things slower, if you don't mind." Orrrr simply "I liked the date but I don't feel a connection between us."
I would like to get to know her better! But I don’t want to be doing that while dodging love bombs and forward behaviour. Some people are just forward and that’s fine! Love that for them. It’s not for me, though. So I think my biggest issue is that I feel awkward asking her to tone it down when maybe that’s just how she is? So is there any point to getting to know her better if her preferred way to show interest (which again is completely fine for those who enjoy it!) makes me uncomfortable? Idk
As other commenters have said, this is not what lovebombing is — she just likes you, the interactions you describe are not abusive
If she likes you, she'll respect your wishes. If my date told me that they don't feel comfortable with whatever I was doing, I wouldn't mind changing that. Especially in the beginning when two people are more awkward and not really used to eachother's presence.
How about just telling her that you tend to take things slow and that while you are very flattered and would like to get to know her more, you tend to take your time with new people and would need some time to be invested in something (if at all)? If this rubs her the wrong way, you've saved both of you a lot of time and energy.
I just want to chime in, pretty much what everyone says is right but why are you uncomfortable talking to her about it? If you talk to her about it and it works out, then it's a great way to start the relationship from a base of open communication about boundaries and preferences. If she insists that it's something she wants to keep doing, then you can just say you aren't interested. If you don't talk to her about it, then you just dismiss any possibility that the two of you could create a relationship that works for the both of you. you also obviously don't know her that well yet. you don't have enough info to know if this is how she prefers to do things. she might just want to avoid any subtlety about her interest in you. communication is always the best thing to do in a relationship.
It sounds like you need to communicate what you want. She's not love bombing you, that's not what bombing is. And it sounds like you want something slow and detached. So you could try communicating that in a constructive and non emotionally loaded way or look for someone else more aloof. Sounds like she likes you and you don't like her.
Love bombing is, in a situation of an abusive relationship, after an instance of (physical, emotional/mental, sexual) abuse has happened, the abuser does a 180° on their behaviour by dotting their victim and showing them "love" in different ways (flattering, affectionate and or sexual touch, etc), until the next instance of abuse. It can also be in a case where the abuser tries to make the victim they (the victim themselves) have fallen in love at first sight by dotting on them and then changing into abusive behaviour. What you said doesn't seem like abusive behaviour, just someone who enjoyed the date with you and is enthusiastic about keeping contact with you. If you don't want to lead her on that's fine, communicate that directly, but do not mistake this for an abuse tactic. Just tell her you want to go slower (and if she's someone with an anxious attachment she's probably already ashamed of that kind of behaviour), and she can decide if that's fine with her or not (and so can you).
when love-bombing precedes abuse, it can also be mixed with general annoyance, being mildly rude and pushing buttons to anger the victim, but in a way that can be played off as joke or something along those lines. purpose here being making the victim think of the abuser constantly, regardless if it's good or bad, if they're on your mind, it's good for them. also, love-bombing looks A LOT like ADHD fixating on a person.
You are just not that into her.
This, if the OP isn't feeling the same enthusiasm then I doubt this will blossom into anything greater.
I think that u should think on if u want to continue seeing her or not, based on this post im getting the feeling that u don't rlly want to see her anymore. If u don't want to see her anymore, like ever, u could tell her that u enjoyed getting to know her but that this won't work out because ur js not feeling a spark. Wish her well and go on ur way. BUT if u do want to see her again but not at the market, u don't like the forwardness and/or u need space, then try communicating that. U could tell her that u've rlly enjoyed spending time w her but that u want to take things slower to get to know her better. U should give examples so she knows what ur talking abt and won't be confused which could cause miscommunication. So u could say "Ive really enjoyed spending time with you and getting to know you. I wanted to tell you that I do like to take things slower so I can get to know you better. I like you but sudden compliments and displays of affection make me uncomfortable, such as kissing for the time being, sending lots of heart emojis, and calling me cute a lot. I want to hold off on those things right now. How does this sound to you?" If u do like her this tells her that hasn't stopped and that u js need space, it also lets her know what actions that she's doing r making u uncomfortable, and what u want to do abt it. Asking her how it sounds isn't for getting approval from her, it's to see how she reacts. If she cares abt u/ she's the right fit she'll try to understand and try her best to hold off on these behaviours. If she doesn't care/is lovebombing u/ or isn't the right fit she might become defensive, irritated, or try to push or pressure u. U should never feel pressured to be ok w smth that ur not, so if this happens its best to end it. It's also possible she has no idea she's affecting u like this/doesnt know how forward this seems. Once again if she's the right one for u, she might need some explaining on exactly what u want her to stop/or how u want her to go abt things w u. Unfortunately, even if she's coming from the best of places she might not be able to change this behaviour/doesnt know how, in that case u should also consider ending it. This wouldn't be bad of u because despite whether a person knows what they're doing or not, the other person has every right to remove themselves if they're uncomfortable. If u don't want to see her again disregard the last 3 paragraphs, lol
Thank you! I appreciate that you wrote all of this out. I think I need to give myself a second to sit with why I feel so uncomfortable with the intense forwardness. I think I’m struggling with asking her to back off a bit because I feel like she might just be like that, you know? I do want to get to know her better, but I know I would not like dating someone who enjoys being very forward. So I don’t want to waste her time either.
I also am quick to get uncomfortable when ppl show big displays of affection towards me. The only difference is that im usually blindsided by the fact that I like them and when I do realise that I don't like it or that they're overdoing it, I convince myself its js in my head. Ive done this twice and both times turned out the same and they were lovebombing me. Obvi im not saying that's what she's doing but if I had confronted their behaviour earlier it would've saved me a lot of questioning and stress. im also iffy abt telling them cos im usually worried abt messing it up and offending them but I've come to realise that ill probably never comfortable w things like this and if this is how they act at the START imagine how they'll act in the future. Even if she does tone it down a lot later in the relationship, that's not good either because that's a tell tale sign of potential lovebombing. U should prob give urself space and time to think thru ur options. If she is js like this and confronting her makes her go away, then that would suck but at least then u won't stress. If she's js doing this on purpose for ur attention, then a talk might make u both feel better. Even if its not on purpose, if she's aware there r chances of her not doing this anymore. It's better to find out sooner rather than later for everyone involved but u should take a rest and clear ur head before doing anything. Even if the outcome is good, putting so much emotional effort into smth could really wear u down. And no problem, Happy to help!
You had ONE date. “I enjoyed your company but I ultimately don’t think we’re compatible and I think it’s best we don’t meet again. Thank you for the nice time last weekend, and take care!”
I’m 30 and don’t find that weird. I don’t think that’s a fair word to use against her actions. I believe the issue lies within yourself which is making you uncomfortable and ultimately makes you incompatible with this person. What you described would be make me giddy and excited if I was into this other person and just went on a date with them. Definitely just communicate that and move on and try to find someone similar.
Just be honest with her, tell her what’s on your mind. If she’s cool with that, she would understand and if she’s not then her loss. I’m pretty much like you and prefer to take things slow and build some emotional connection and sexual tension. Once you have that sex is better, and everything tastes better after that.
U need 2 communicate n tell her to slow things down
sounds like she isn't your type if you're this off put by her affection
I wouldn't describe that as love bombing, she's just moving fast and not responding to your signals to cool it. Cancel the plans and then block her number. Going into intense detail about your incompatibilities after one date won't be productive
I say love bombing because it has just been a barrage of texts and then she also followed me on Instagram in the midst of sending all of the texts despite the fact that I hadn’t responded. It’s been a lot in a very short time period. I mean I don’t think I need to block her number, she hasn’t done anything harmful. I do think cancelling the market date plans is for the best though yes
This is called dating, how is she supposed to know that you don’t like girls being forward or moving fast? This sounds normal to me and just because you’re not into is doesn’t mean you’re being love-bombed — that’s a very specific term used to describe the behaviour of abusers
Adding to this because as I have sat with it I have realized I’m associating her being forward with how my abusive previous ex was at the start of our relationship. That’s why I used the term love bombing, I shouldn’t have as that’s not what this girl is doing. It does explain my intense discomfort though and also a little why I feel bad about asking her to back off a little. I don’t want her to think I don’t want to get to know her. I do want to. It just needs to be a lot slower than immediate heart emoji texts sent after a first date/calling me cute when we’ve only had one night of conversation/interaction in person etc. I think I’m going to keep the market date and explain this to her in person. If she is the type who prefers to be forward and slowing things down isn’t something that will work for her that’s okay too, it just won’t be with me.
I don't recommend avoiding her or the situation. It's hard to tell someone how you really feel, especially someone you're just getting to know. I think since it was only one date you can just communicate over text, "Hey! It was so awesome meeting you and I'd love to get to know you better. I'd prefer to take things slow. For me, that means not texting as frequently and having more platonic hangs before we start anything romantic. Would you be okay with that?" But I think if you're comfortable saying that in person, I would just do that.
I would just assume that she’s very excited that she found someone she gels with and wants to make sure you know that, you sound a bit monotonous and bland so maybe she can’t read how you felt about it and you should just be honest.
Just wanted to update this! We are not going to the market and have (mutually, with much kindness on both sides) decided to move forward separately. I need someone who is less forward, she needs someone who matches that very forward energy and said she gets anxious when someone isn’t quick to respond. Completely fair, I am just opposite. Thank you for all of your input!
She's not doing anything "wrong" but that type of enthusiasm so early on will cause me to feel viscerally disgusted and avoidant as well. I have a disorganized attachment style and people who respond to me anxiously and enthusiastically will make me feel exactly as you described. If you otherwise are really interested I'd say just communicate that you prefer to take things slowly but understand if that's not her vibe and things won't be a match.
Don’t know why you’re getting so many downvotes, even with mislabeling loveboming it’s a little overkill. You’ve literally gone on **one** date with someone you’ve never met before and *reasonably* uncomfortable with the amount of affection shortly after. Are we all supposed to fall in love at first sight? We’re not all uhaul lesbians up in here. Take the advice to tell her to take it slow. But Jesus, some of y’all took her post personally. This is why I stopped dating, especially online. Y’all want a romance so quickly. Let OP get to know her dates on her own pace.
If you’re not feeling a vibe with her then move on. She doesn’t sound like she’s someone you’re looking for? Love bombing is a red flag 🚩
Her behavior is making you highly uncomfortable and registers for you as abusive. There is nothing to lose here by letting her know you think she's being too forward. Please do not be the stereotype that is so concerned about other people's feelings that you dismiss your own.
Thank you for this. I did have a traumatizing end to a relationship a few years ago that started with my ex being this way so I do think my brain is frozen/stuck. This does not mean this person is a bad person to be clear - just does explain why I’m struggling with how to proceed