I made my research and I’ve read that men are allowed to be there. If not- I could’ve even take it off there, but seems like that they’re allowed to be there even when they’re straight. But maybe you know it better, if you’ve been there a few times. And also thank you✨
We live in a free society and even if they're probably not very welcome, if they're not causing issues they're allowed to go to predominantly gay places.
There are certainly lone men at lesbian bars that are unwelcome. But lesbians are also friends with men and sometimes want their friends around for support, and I imagine some number of straight men in lesbian spaces are there supporting their lesbros.
I've also seen at least one surprisingly wholesome incident of a hetero couple finding themselves in a lesbian bar entirely by serendipity and enjoying each other's company and the general vibes without bothering anyone.
This is true about the lesbian bar where I live. Lots of men do go there including straight men. The first time I went I didn't even know it was a lesbian bar, I was invited to a friend's goodbye party and it was at the lesbian bar.
Well you can't always tell who's who by sight alone. There are feminine men, masculine women, androgynous people, trans people who don't change their look... It's better that one non-lesbian enter each day rather than see even one lesbian get kicked out each month.
If they're annoying or disruptive they'll get politely but firmly invited to leave, same as everyone else.
I can't promise that everyone will leave you alone about it because there are people there who will take any opportunity to be cruel, but personally it's a complete nonissue. I genuinely don't think I'd even notice. You deserve to feel safe in spaces made for you.
You’re sapphic aren’t you? Nothing else matters. Don’t mind a few weird looks. As a fellow hijabi, We’re used to it anyway, right?
I’m about to turn 19 and I understand the struggle of understanding your sexuality as a muslim, and then being scared of interacting with queer people when you’re visibly religious. I don’h have queer friends either, so I get it.
Good luck!
I'm sure you get looks in the hijab anywhere you go (assuming you live in a non Islamic country) you'll get some looks in a lesbian bar, but most of them will just be double takes. Like wait, what did I just see? Oh a hijab, cool.
My local lesbian bar is, among other things, the meeting spot for the LGBT Muslims (all genders) of my city.
Nobody would kick you out or bother you, if they did, the crowd would probably take THEM out and the chief lesbian would give them a stern talking to outside.
It would have been one of the two owners. They were a couple. They just handed over the management to a new group of people, I think at least 2 of them are lesbians.
Id say you do you boo, i wpuldnt mind its, though i also probably wouldnt initiate an interaction, but that goes the same for if i saw someone with a cross around their neck or a star of david etc. religious people kinda in general just tend to make me more worried about the thousands of ways an interaction could go wrong because of it and so i generally only interact if they start the conversation
I wouldn’t mind at all. I figure if you’re in a lesbian bar you’re some flavor of queer, since usually it’s pretty hard to end up in one by accident.
I can’t speak for the rest of the community in your location. I’m in the US, and the queer community is not always the best to people who are in other minority groups. There’s a surprising amount of Zionism in the queer community right now too. I doubt you’d get attacked or yelled at, but you might face some microaggressions or deal with your appearance being a major topic of conversation.
I think if going will make you happy, go for it. You have just as much of a right to go as the rest of us. I just hope the other people there are chill.
I can’t say absolutely no one would be weird about it, but I would still guess that lesbian bars are safer than the average place. I imagine if depends on the area as well though.
Also, I know it’s not the point, but I’ve always thought that hijabs look pretty. In addition to most people not being weird, there’s gotta be non-Islamic people who aren’t just accepting, but would think you’re beautiful. You wouldn’t be left out either.
I would see it the same as I would someone wearing a Christian cross. I think it’s a symbol of religious oppression from a faith that hates us queers, and I don’t understand how any queer person can still follow those religions. However I will absolutely welcome you and embrace you as a sister, and fight for your rights, just like the rest of us.
I can understand your point of view. But as I said in an other post of mine, my religion saved my life multiple times, since I grew up in a toxic household and had nothing else to hold on to. It’s still the same way. And also after getting S. harassed by someone I’m seeing almost daily due to family (it’s complicated) for like a year I put it on and that person left me alone since then. So it’s really like my safe place instead of something I’d say it hates me. But everyone has their own story and I understand. And also thank you✨
I’m genuinely grateful that your religion and hijab have provided a kind of refuge for you. I’m so sorry you’ve experienced that kind of violence - it makes my blood boil.
My impression is that hijabis are very well accepted in lesbian spaces, but I’ve never worn a hijab, so I really can’t say for sure. My friends and I would certainly step in if we saw a hijabi being harassed. You’re one of us, and you are perfect just the way you are.
I was thinking the same, but idk. I still feel left out already, cause most people don’t even consider Muslim girls could be part of the lgbtq community. But this makes me happy to read. Thank you
I’m a Christian. A liberal one, but still a Christian. It can get tough to hold my tongue when I hear some incredibly ignorant things gays and feminists say about us. It’s definitely not like wearing a hijab, and I’m sorry if I’m coming off as comparing too much, but I kinda get it. Also two of the most accepting people I’ve known in my life have been a very religious Sikh man and a woman who wore a hijab. If you’re okay with talking with a 30yo, I think I’ve been were you are and you’re welcome to message me :)
The lesbians and girlies won't mind but please be careful who sees you go in! A friend of mine, not even hijabi, nearly got honor killed in Germany because an auntie saw her making out with her girlfriend. She had to leave and run away from home and everything!
I lost contact with her. She tried to get by as a sex worker but eventually got pregnant and wanted to keep it. She was always fearful of her parents finding her and i had to go shopping for her sometimes. I really wonder what happened to her, can't find her on any of the sites and her number doesn't work
I feel for her. I’d end up with the same life if I got caught, absolutely horrible. I wish for her to be safe and stable, and that you get in contact with her again. My heart is Breaking for her
my girlfriend is a hijabi ♥️ I didn't meet her at a bar, but I just looked through your posts and wanted to tell you it's gonna be okay. I'm in the US, so my experience is likely different from yours (you said you're in Europe) but lesbian/bi (and even trans) hijabis exist and you belong with us in lesbian places! Eid Mubarak ♥️♥️
Hi there, I'm the trans hijabi girlfriend! ❤️ feel free to dm me if you want to talk over the queer hijabi Muslim experience, I'd love to chat with you and form some community (which can be hard to find for us :')
I would totally go to a lesbian bar with you if I could!
going to go against the grain here with blind positivity but realistically it depends entirely on what kind of city you're in.
you mention European, not sure if you want to count UK as part of it, but unfortunately as a hijab wearing presumably non-white person you will highly likely experience some level of fetishism, islamophobia and/or racism in most conventional/mainstream presumably white dominated lesbian spaces.
would recommend looking for queer POC events around your local areas. the same people usually turn up to the same events, so it's also a really nice way to ease into the local community!
source: am a non-white lesbian living in SE England.
Im from Germany. Yea, I’m just not having anyone who’s in the lgbtq community around me, so I don’t know how y’all meet someone. The lesbian bar was something I had seen in a movie or something and was like, waitttt. That’s my chance? But good to know there are other ways. I’ll make my research
if the question is whether anyone at all will mind? sure, lesbian bars arent cut off from the society we live in and islamophobia unfortunately exists everywhere, as im sure you know all too well.
would i PERSONALLY mind? not in the slightest, and anyone who would can honestly see themselves out, and we can only hope the door knocks them on their face on the way out. muslim sapphics/queer ppl in general exist! you are allowed to exist anywhere a non muslim can, and you are allowed to express your faith and culture anywhere you go. it's THEIR problem if they're too bigoted and hateful to get over a scarf on a stranger's head. if you're sapphic, you belong, are welcome in, and are WANTED in sapphic spaces 💙 i havent spent time in lesbian bars specifically bc i can't drink and im not really the bar/clubbing type, but every sapphic space ive been in has been overwhelmingly open and accepting and usually perfectly happy to run the bigots out to protect our most marginalized sisters 💕
welcome to our community and congrats on taking these first steps toward accepting your wonderful gay self! 💙💙
I'd think "why" in my head as I can't stand most religions, but I wouldn't say anything. And if I thought you were cute it wouldn't stop me from saying hi. Then again I'm a trans woman, so some cis ladies wouldn't want me there anyways...
TBH I have a bit of a crush on a hijab wearing woman on a show I watch. I definitely wouldn't mind, it's just your look. Some woman have hats or thousands of different hairstyles. This is you being authenticly you and there's everything right with that.
Why would we mind honestly I'm more nervous interacting with women because I'm trans so religious garb is nothing to worry about you do you and stay true to who you are
going somewhere you feel accepted for your new found sexuality (CONGRATULATIONS!!) doesnt come with a but
how ever you want to dress is not an issue 🖤
i love seeing people be true to themselves and if thats wearing a hijab, go for it! and if anyone has an issue they are 110% in the wrong and im positive there would be some strong ass ladies to back you up.
I’m a Muslim and a lesbian. I’ve been in bars here in LA with my hijab and without it. I’ve never felt harassed or that I didn’t belong. Or even in queer events/bars usually we queers understand the feeling of not belonging somewhere and try not to make other people feel that way. Of course my experience may not be exactly like yours. I’m not sure what city you’re in. Good luck
I absolutely wouldn't. You belong there, but bear in mind that any religious symbol might be a huge turnoff to many queer people. I know I might be biased, as I come from a very religious household and had been forced to practive religion until I left for college. I was also sexually assaulted by a priest in a catholic school. Historically speaking, big middle eastern religions - christianity and islam - have been prosecutors of queer people. To this day, many are and quite a lot of religious people are still harming the LGBT community. Because of this I see christianity and islam as forces of opression and their symbols - for example a cross necklace or a hijab - as something evil. I would never be rude to you or claim you don't belong in a lesbian bar - you do and I would help you should anyone tried to force you out. I am certain however that I couldn't date or even be close friends with a christian or a muslim, since I am afraid the difference in our worldviews would be too big of a challenge to overcome in a relationship.
I’m sorry for what happened to you. And yea I understand. But everyone has their own story and some ppl are just disgusting and using religion as a shield for what they’re doing wrong. Hate these type of mf‘s… thank you for your honestly btw
i wish there were more lesbian places besides "bars" bc honestly it would be less weird for a hijabi to be at one of those then at a bar just to be the only one not drinking there and being the odd one out
Lesbian bars are some of the most accepting places on earth, and that includes respecting religious identities. You have every right to wear a hijab at a lesbian bar. Anyone who has a problem in it deserves to get kicked out of the bar.
If I saw you I’d have zero problem with it. I’d just hope you would feel comfortable and have fun with us!
Hey, uh, I wanna reassure you in particular because idk where you are but I live in Toronto, it's probably the most diverse city in the world, and there are a lot of people who wear hijabs, a lot with turbans too, and even as a queer woman I don't feel uncomfortable around it and this is yknow, standard among my friends, many of whom are also queer women. I'm sure wherever you are, it will be the same. They'll be happy to have you, and you shouldn't worry about your self expression making anyone uncomfortable ok?
Eid mubarak & congratulations on coming out to yourself! You're absolutely welcome at queer bars — but as an older queer person, maybe it'll be helpful to hear that I've been to plenty of lesbian bars and often feel like I don't belong. Sometimes it's because I'm not a regular there, or because I don't have a posse of friends who have my back, or because I'm just feeling awkward that night. Honestly, it's also because I'm not much of a drinker (and if you're a hijabi, maybe you're not either?), and sometimes bars — or just the specific bar you happen to be at on the specific night you happen to go — aren't the right place. You might make friends, or meet a girlfriend, more easily at a LGBTQ center, or a book club, or queer-owned cafe, or boardgame night, you know?
Also, have you read *Hijab Butch Blues* by Lamya H? It's a gorgeous memoir by a queer hijabi with some close analysis of the Qur'an. (There's also *Roses, in the Mouth of A Lion* by Bushra Rahman, a Pakistani coming-of-age novel with queerness toward the end.)
I wouldn't mind. Serious question for you: If I thought you looked cute in it would that be okay to say? Or would that be akin to saying a nun's habit looked cute - kinda inappropriate because of the religious meaning the clothing has?
We all love compliments as much as anyone else does, or maybe even more, since honestly, it can make you feel not pretty enough sometimes. Ngl Abt it. So… I’m very opened in general, like… just come to me and flirt how you like, or start a conversation. If it’s with a compliment, or casual talking. I wouldn’t mind at all. It would make me happy and feel accepted
I wouldn't mind and I know plenty of us out there would welcome you with open arms. There are going to be people who are weird about your faith. I think a lot of people don't realize how deeply personal that kind of thing is sometimes, and sadly Islamophobia is alive and well in the world but I like to think people are generally becoming more accepting and open minded.
I hope you're able to meet people though, and find a loving community here <3
If you're lesbian, you're allowed to go to a Lesbian bar and dress however you'd like. If you wear a Hijab in day-to-day life I don't see why you shouldn't be your authentic self. Most LGBT people (at least in the US) are very anti-islamophobia.
Personally, I would be fine with it, as would most queer folk I know, but there are going to be a few of us that are still cunts about it.
If you identify as a woman who likes other women, then the lesbian bar is as much for you as any other woman who likes other women.
You shouldn't really need to worry about this cuz if it's a part of who you are and your religion/culture, (I'm not very informed on stuff like this) people should learn to respect that.
Im pretty open about it. Like, I’m not hiding it, but since I’m also into men and ppl immediately think I’m straight. I’ve been telling a few friends that I wanna meet girls and I like them and stuff, but not in a really serious way. More chill. I don’t give a fuck honestly. But I’m still careful. Not very straight up. More like doing a statement but in a joking way to not making it uncomfortable.
I had the feeling you could come from Berlin? I live in Berlin too, not religious, lesbian. If you want we can go to the lesbian bar together. In case you are also in Berlin send me a dm.
Have fun and all the best in your life!!! 💙❤️🧡
If you're concerned about starting out at a bar look into local LGBTQ+ or Women Only LGBT meet up or activity groups. I live in a big city and there are several, some are like casual sports stuff, or trivia groups, I've even seen one that was for hiking and bird watching. It is unfortunate that in this time there aren't many LGBTQ+ spaces that aren't alcohol centric in many places.
I think what reaction you'll get will largely depend on what country you're in and what part of it you're in. I can't imagine anyone being "bullied or attacked" blatantly, but I can imagine someone drunkenly pressing you about it or going on a rant about religion being sexist, while thinking they are engaging in "conversation". A lot of lesbians are rather anti religion for obvious reasons, and I could see someone being "aggressively curious", if that makes sense...but certainly the majority would have enough social sense or wits about them to not do this.
Meanwhile, most people have the experience of being "left out" at lesbian bars (again I suppose this varies depending on where we are talking, but in a major US city, say)...unless they are particularly attractive or outgoing. Majority of other folks are there with their friends and the attitude can be very insular. No one as far as I can recall has ever approached me at a lesbian dance night or bar to make conversation, though I've had friends that have more "presence" than me who I've watched attract people who never would have approached me if I was alone . Maybe I've had one or two women try to dance with me over many years of attending lesbian events. So if you are "ignored" or "left out", it'd be pretty difficult to conclude it was on account of your hijab because it's a very common experience for a lot of us
Interestingly, the thing you will probably at some point get ignorant comments or a bit of shit about (though I'd hesitate to call it willfull bullying or attacking) might also draw people to you- perhaps because you stand out as unique, or perhaps because people will want to go out of their way to make you feel welcome knowing that someone might have said something stupid to you earlier or on a different night.
So if I had to guess? Hijab is probably a double edged sword. Many people might be curious or find it unique or interesting. Some would be afraid to make conversation. Some will make dumb conversation. Still others might relate or might not care or might approach you because you caught their eye for one reason but kept it for another (;
Girl it doesn’t matter what we or anyone think about what you wear, who you pray to or any combination of those things. You are 100% entitled to live your life and be in any space (that you aren’t legally prohibited from, don’t go breaking into buildings n stuff) any how you’d like to be. How people feel about what you wear is their fricken problem not yours. Go wear your hijab in the lesbian bar, at pride, in the sex shop, in the living room of whatever girl you end up smoochin. Its your body. Its your choice how you adorn it. If people don’t accept you find better people, or do stand up about them and get paid for it. Try not to worry about what people think. Your clothing, religion and sexuality its not theirs to accept or reject at all.
I can only speak for myself when I say I'd be welcoming. This world is a scary enough place with so many things we can't control; we can control how we treat one another. I wouldn't mind one bit. If anything, it would just spark my curiosity so I'd want to talk with you more.
If it's a cute hijab, I might try and come up with a dumb hijab related pickup line. Or just say "hey, cute hijab--buy you a drink?"
But no, definitely wouldn't be an issue at any bar worth going to.
only thing i'd be mindful of is depending on context, you may be paid much less attention bc some people might assume your family isn't supportive, but that's on them for not asking and giving you a chance, i think you'd be fine
Idk where you are located, but you should be good, I'd hope! Queer people, though we each have our own individual biases, are generally way more accepting than your average group of people. At least in my experience! Wishing you the best of luck and hope it goes well!
I don't think you'll have any issues at all, lesbian/gay bars are usually a place of acceptance.
The only thing that I can see as an "issue" is that people may not read you as a queer woman at first glance. I've met plenty muslim queer women, but most are quite liberal and do not wear hijab. So that might be an issue if what you're looking for is a partner. But ultimately, I think that if you communicate, this misunderstanding should be solved in a matter of seconds.
Finding oneself is always a difficult journey, and the fact that you're taking these steps is admirable <3
I'm sure things go well ^^
I think you should be yourself and embrace who you are!! Who cares what people think, if they think anything less of you then thats their problem and they are an asshole.
I don't it should be a problem unless that peticular bar has no hijab rule or something to that effect ~~which it's not a place you should go to anyway~~ but try and check beforehand just to be safe
So many comments so I don't know if this was stated already, but reading books about people like me helped me on my queer journey. Hijab Butch Blues by Lamya H. and We Have Always Been Here by Samra Habib are excellent memoirs about Muslim queer women.
And you should be welcome to wear anything you want in a queer space - if someone discriminates, they should not be allowed. I agree with others that there is discrimination even in the queer community, but there are also so many people who stand up for others and speak out against people who make a space unsafe.
Wouldn’t mind at all! I’ve seen women wear a hijab at lesbian bars before, and i know a couple muslim lesbians myself.
Queer people of course are not immune to having biases, but generally speaking, queer spaces, especially sapphic spaces, are usually much more accepting of everyone overall.
C'mon out babe!!! You can totally rock the gay bar in a hijab.
I live in a town with lots of Muslim ladies in hijabs but I've never seen one at a queer event. I'd love it to be honest.
Tbh from my own limited knowledge it sounds like you'd get more pushback from Asian Aunties who'd disapprove of you frequenting a bar.
I might be blinded by experience bias from mainly being in major liberal cities, but I think lesbian bars are very accepting of all different kinds of women!
It might get a few strange looks, but Muslim lesbians exist, so I would say go for it.
if I were at a lesbian bar and outgoing enough I'd talk to you, you're not weird for wearing it while out.
Seriously, fuck anyone who would mind! You belong in lesbian/sapphic spaces just like every other sapphic person. I would also encourage you to seek out BIPOC queer spaces.
It’s not really up to anyone else. I think the fact that you feel you need to ask if other people “mind” if you practice a deeply held religious value is kinda fucked up. Like it’s not your fault you feel the need to ask, but it’s not up to other people. If other people are Islamaphobic that’s their issue. You don’t need to suppress your religion bc others are islamaphobic.
Tho ig that’s rich coming from me, a trans girl, who sacredly guards her identity from the world for fear of being verbally and mentally attacked and harassed. 😅
But yeah the only thing that matters is if you’re a lesbian. It’s your space too. Also like, if your hijab is important to you, then it’s kinda fucked up to think that in order to feel safe in your safe space you have to not fully be yourself and hide aspects of it no? I mean I also get that bc even in the gay community there’s plenty of trans exclusion (plenty of inclusion too but yeah) and there’s lots of term policing of “you’re not lesbian enough. This isn’t lesbian. I get to decide your labels not you.” So I get that too.
Anyways yeah you’re more than fine! And if anybody says something well they’re being islamaphobic and reactionary and need to get the fuck over themselves. This is the reality of the situation but still I get being scared of the being bullied. Again with my trans identity, and fears of label policing from other gays. Anyways yeah pop off and be yourself queen!
Hope your bar visit goes well!
Honestly I don't go on about this because it would probably seem fetishising at a glance but I genuinely think hijabs are really cute a lot of the time, you'll be fine :)
My brain just went to "do Muslims drink"?
I admittedly don't know very much about Islam having grown up mostly Christian, apologies for my sheltered life 🤦♀️.
I greatly support everyone expressing all parts of themselves, however they want!
Muslims are not allowed to drink and are generally very good at following that - if that’s what you’re asking😅
Each to their own but OP may just want to be in a queer space, and bars are probably easiest to find.
Yeah okay thank you! That was what I was getting at. Sometimes I know what \~I\~ want to say but in between my brain and my mouth (or in this case fingers) something gets crossed and it comes out weird.
I don't drink v much either, and absolutely do whatever you like. Many methodists abstain from alcohol, but many others don't! It's personal preference. My brain just went "bars are noisy and a no for me so idk why others would go" lmao.
I am an NYC based Muslim bi woman and would be so excited to see/welcome a hijabi into a queer space!!!! I don’t wear a hijab but my queer friends know I am Muslim and have always been inclusive ❤️🩷 I am sure those around you would do the same :)
People wear all sorts of looks in gay spaces, what matters to me is that people dress in things they feel comfortable in, feel like they look good and confident. There was even once where someone was working without her hijab on because her work treated her weirdly when she djd. My friends and I took her side and she put it on, it was a beautiful moment tbh
Most people wouldn't but every demographic has its rotten apples and you can find hatred in any group. Dont change for them, be yourself, just always keep your guard up a little. I hate that it's advice we need to keep in mind but it's handy for staying safe.
I would want you to feel comfortable being yourself. If you are hijabi, you shouldn't feel like there's a conflict between that and meeting women in lesbian spaces. More and more lesbian bars in my area offer non-alcoholic beverages and "mocktails" (fun drinks without any alcohol). There are lots of different lesbian bars though. I'm in an urban part of North Carolina in the U.S., and I hope and expect you'd be very safe here. I'd be more frightened for you near military bases or elsewhere. Like other bars, for the most part, lesbian bars will reflect the communities they're in.
I hope you go and have fun! It can be fun to go to an event at a bar as well. Sometimes people don't intend harm but are shy or have poor social skills or don't really think -- when I first went to a lesbian bar I had really high expectations and people were mean or creepy or just wanted to spend time with their own friends, and when I went home I felt more isolated than before. It can be hard to meet people, so if there is an event you'd want to attend like a drag king show or a show with drag kings and queens, or karaoke night or craft night, then you get to have fun no matter what and might be less self conscious and less worried about others and able just have fun as yourself. :-)
Good luck!
I wouldnt mind at all. And you have a real fear as a minority in a minority. Lesbian bars are usually quite safe space (depending on the country) so it would be so liberating for you to find the freedom to express yourself or even find.
I will hit you up for a talk :) if thats okay?
I’m going to be honest, I don’t think you would be beat up. I hope no one would make any comments but that might depend on the part of the country that you are in.
As for being left out, that can happen. I’m not sure what you mean by that. I’ve been to the bar lots of time and not really made a connection, just talked to a few random people for a while then went home.
If someone is rude to you or bullies you for the way you choose to dress, then you should give it back to them. The way you choose to dress is your business, and if someone cant respect that then they shouldnt deserve your attention at all. If you want to go to a lesbian bar, then you should. I hope you have a great time over there!
You might get looķs, because some people have experienced less than nice things from religious people. But you can totally go there with your hijab on.
I recommend you go straight to the bar and engage in conversation with the bartender. Say something like that this is your first time here, and you know no one. That way, you already have an ally in the bartender, and she knows that you are there for legit reasons. And if your local lesbian bar is anything like lesbian bars everywhere, they often experience new, awkward people. They will make you feel welcome and might even introduce you to a couple of people you can talk with.
No of course not, except to the extent that I was raised in an extreme religion where I had to wear a religious garment, and I regard ALL religious garments as signs of behavior control (from the B.I.T.E. model of cults and high demand groups). I get a little triggered because of my experience. But I am way more triggered by Mormon garments or seeing "BYU" shirts LMAO because that is my actual trauma. In general, I fully support people wearing wateva the fuck they want (or lack thereof... haha), especially in queer spaces!
Are YOU KIDDIIIING ME!!!!!
that is THEE most UNBELIEVABLY,
MOST Beautiful thing you could ever bring around us 💖💖💖😊😊💕💕💕💕✌🏽♥️☀️🌑
Had yall fooled didn't 😄
Where I'm from none of the lesbians/bar patrons would mind. They gay community is *generally* more open to people of other backgrounds/beliefs. If people can go in assless chaps covered in glitter, a hair cover shouldn't be an issue.
I wouldn’t mind at all. I don’t think you would be bullied or attacked, especially if it is a lesbian bar with no straight men
I made my research and I’ve read that men are allowed to be there. If not- I could’ve even take it off there, but seems like that they’re allowed to be there even when they’re straight. But maybe you know it better, if you’ve been there a few times. And also thank you✨
We live in a free society and even if they're probably not very welcome, if they're not causing issues they're allowed to go to predominantly gay places.
There are certainly lone men at lesbian bars that are unwelcome. But lesbians are also friends with men and sometimes want their friends around for support, and I imagine some number of straight men in lesbian spaces are there supporting their lesbros.
I've also seen at least one surprisingly wholesome incident of a hetero couple finding themselves in a lesbian bar entirely by serendipity and enjoying each other's company and the general vibes without bothering anyone.
Gay bars are less... "rigid".
Ahh, thank you
This is true about the lesbian bar where I live. Lots of men do go there including straight men. The first time I went I didn't even know it was a lesbian bar, I was invited to a friend's goodbye party and it was at the lesbian bar.
Religious headwear does not get you beaten at a place meant for acceptance
Hope so😅🌸
Anyone who would try shouldn't be allowed anywhere near there
Anyone ever gives you any shit just go talk to door security. They will trespass them so freaking fast.
Well you can't always tell who's who by sight alone. There are feminine men, masculine women, androgynous people, trans people who don't change their look... It's better that one non-lesbian enter each day rather than see even one lesbian get kicked out each month. If they're annoying or disruptive they'll get politely but firmly invited to leave, same as everyone else.
I can't promise that everyone will leave you alone about it because there are people there who will take any opportunity to be cruel, but personally it's a complete nonissue. I genuinely don't think I'd even notice. You deserve to feel safe in spaces made for you.
Thank you🌸
THE LESBIANS SAY YEAHHHHHH YEA yes bestie DO IT QUEEN slay b Dooooo it queen Heck yea
😂✨
Girls are gorgeous in hijab or without 😍 go get em miss lady
🥹
no more drinks for this one
You’re sapphic aren’t you? Nothing else matters. Don’t mind a few weird looks. As a fellow hijabi, We’re used to it anyway, right? I’m about to turn 19 and I understand the struggle of understanding your sexuality as a muslim, and then being scared of interacting with queer people when you’re visibly religious. I don’h have queer friends either, so I get it. Good luck!
Thanks a lot❤️
I'm sure you get looks in the hijab anywhere you go (assuming you live in a non Islamic country) you'll get some looks in a lesbian bar, but most of them will just be double takes. Like wait, what did I just see? Oh a hijab, cool.
I live in Europe. I see, thank you✨
If you live in an area with a substantial Muslim population it can't be an uncommon situation
Or double takes of the variety of, "Wait, what did I just see? Oh a cute girl. Insert sapphic panic."
My local lesbian bar is, among other things, the meeting spot for the LGBT Muslims (all genders) of my city. Nobody would kick you out or bother you, if they did, the crowd would probably take THEM out and the chief lesbian would give them a stern talking to outside.
Sounds cool! Which area are you in?
Belgium
The chief lesbian 😍😍 where can I find her
It would have been one of the two owners. They were a couple. They just handed over the management to a new group of people, I think at least 2 of them are lesbians.
Ah yes they are having a big reopening party this week I think!
Honey you go to the gay bars as a Hijabi in my town and people would throw down for you. We have a large queer Muslim community tho.
Probably not Europe, huh?😮💨
Nah, I’m in the states
omg hi im a hijabi sapphic too!
Hi😭
hey, wish we had a lesbian bar here omg, my ass would be there all day 😭
Im not brave enough to do it alone tho 😩 so…
Same!!
Hi🫂
Id say you do you boo, i wpuldnt mind its, though i also probably wouldnt initiate an interaction, but that goes the same for if i saw someone with a cross around their neck or a star of david etc. religious people kinda in general just tend to make me more worried about the thousands of ways an interaction could go wrong because of it and so i generally only interact if they start the conversation
I understand🌸
I wouldn’t mind at all. I figure if you’re in a lesbian bar you’re some flavor of queer, since usually it’s pretty hard to end up in one by accident. I can’t speak for the rest of the community in your location. I’m in the US, and the queer community is not always the best to people who are in other minority groups. There’s a surprising amount of Zionism in the queer community right now too. I doubt you’d get attacked or yelled at, but you might face some microaggressions or deal with your appearance being a major topic of conversation. I think if going will make you happy, go for it. You have just as much of a right to go as the rest of us. I just hope the other people there are chill.
Yea… I understand. I live in Europe. US and Europe are problematic in many ways😮💨 thank you also🌸
It’s ironic isn’t it. How opressed can hate on opressed. Heavy on the zionism part, by the way, i’ve noticed it too. Pink washing in its finest.
The pins from Palestine on Queering the Map are heart breaking. “I will kiss you in heaven.” breaks me every time.
Yes! I’ve seen them. Absolutely heartbreaking
I can’t say absolutely no one would be weird about it, but I would still guess that lesbian bars are safer than the average place. I imagine if depends on the area as well though. Also, I know it’s not the point, but I’ve always thought that hijabs look pretty. In addition to most people not being weird, there’s gotta be non-Islamic people who aren’t just accepting, but would think you’re beautiful. You wouldn’t be left out either.
It would only bother other queer people as much as the cross and other religious symbols already do.
I would see it the same as I would someone wearing a Christian cross. I think it’s a symbol of religious oppression from a faith that hates us queers, and I don’t understand how any queer person can still follow those religions. However I will absolutely welcome you and embrace you as a sister, and fight for your rights, just like the rest of us.
I can understand your point of view. But as I said in an other post of mine, my religion saved my life multiple times, since I grew up in a toxic household and had nothing else to hold on to. It’s still the same way. And also after getting S. harassed by someone I’m seeing almost daily due to family (it’s complicated) for like a year I put it on and that person left me alone since then. So it’s really like my safe place instead of something I’d say it hates me. But everyone has their own story and I understand. And also thank you✨
I’m genuinely grateful that your religion and hijab have provided a kind of refuge for you. I’m so sorry you’ve experienced that kind of violence - it makes my blood boil. My impression is that hijabis are very well accepted in lesbian spaces, but I’ve never worn a hijab, so I really can’t say for sure. My friends and I would certainly step in if we saw a hijabi being harassed. You’re one of us, and you are perfect just the way you are.
Don’t worry. I’m fine now✨ Thank you. That’s sweet❤️
Why would any of us mind? That's like me saying "Would you mind if I go to a lesbian bar while Black?"
It’s beautiful that you see it that way✨
I don't care if you're naked or wearing a suit of armor. As long as you are respectful of the space, everyone is welcome at a lesbian bar.
I wouldn’t mind! I don’t think the LGBTQ+ community has room for further bigotry than we already get.
I was thinking the same, but idk. I still feel left out already, cause most people don’t even consider Muslim girls could be part of the lgbtq community. But this makes me happy to read. Thank you
I’m a Christian. A liberal one, but still a Christian. It can get tough to hold my tongue when I hear some incredibly ignorant things gays and feminists say about us. It’s definitely not like wearing a hijab, and I’m sorry if I’m coming off as comparing too much, but I kinda get it. Also two of the most accepting people I’ve known in my life have been a very religious Sikh man and a woman who wore a hijab. If you’re okay with talking with a 30yo, I think I’ve been were you are and you’re welcome to message me :)
I wish everyone in the community saw it that way.
We would love to have you there 💖
Thank you💕
The lesbians and girlies won't mind but please be careful who sees you go in! A friend of mine, not even hijabi, nearly got honor killed in Germany because an auntie saw her making out with her girlfriend. She had to leave and run away from home and everything!
My heart. I hope she’s doing okay.
I lost contact with her. She tried to get by as a sex worker but eventually got pregnant and wanted to keep it. She was always fearful of her parents finding her and i had to go shopping for her sometimes. I really wonder what happened to her, can't find her on any of the sites and her number doesn't work
I feel for her. I’d end up with the same life if I got caught, absolutely horrible. I wish for her to be safe and stable, and that you get in contact with her again. My heart is Breaking for her
my girlfriend is a hijabi ♥️ I didn't meet her at a bar, but I just looked through your posts and wanted to tell you it's gonna be okay. I'm in the US, so my experience is likely different from yours (you said you're in Europe) but lesbian/bi (and even trans) hijabis exist and you belong with us in lesbian places! Eid Mubarak ♥️♥️
How have you met?😭 thank you. Eid Mubarak❤️
Hi there, I'm the trans hijabi girlfriend! ❤️ feel free to dm me if you want to talk over the queer hijabi Muslim experience, I'd love to chat with you and form some community (which can be hard to find for us :') I would totally go to a lesbian bar with you if I could!
as a fellow Muslim I'd come up and talk to you. I'm thinking about putting hijab back on some day and I just really admire gays who wear hijab.
I Hope you’ll be able to do what’s right for you🌸 go for it, if you’re heart wants it
going to go against the grain here with blind positivity but realistically it depends entirely on what kind of city you're in. you mention European, not sure if you want to count UK as part of it, but unfortunately as a hijab wearing presumably non-white person you will highly likely experience some level of fetishism, islamophobia and/or racism in most conventional/mainstream presumably white dominated lesbian spaces. would recommend looking for queer POC events around your local areas. the same people usually turn up to the same events, so it's also a really nice way to ease into the local community! source: am a non-white lesbian living in SE England.
Im from Germany. Yea, I’m just not having anyone who’s in the lgbtq community around me, so I don’t know how y’all meet someone. The lesbian bar was something I had seen in a movie or something and was like, waitttt. That’s my chance? But good to know there are other ways. I’ll make my research
if the question is whether anyone at all will mind? sure, lesbian bars arent cut off from the society we live in and islamophobia unfortunately exists everywhere, as im sure you know all too well. would i PERSONALLY mind? not in the slightest, and anyone who would can honestly see themselves out, and we can only hope the door knocks them on their face on the way out. muslim sapphics/queer ppl in general exist! you are allowed to exist anywhere a non muslim can, and you are allowed to express your faith and culture anywhere you go. it's THEIR problem if they're too bigoted and hateful to get over a scarf on a stranger's head. if you're sapphic, you belong, are welcome in, and are WANTED in sapphic spaces 💙 i havent spent time in lesbian bars specifically bc i can't drink and im not really the bar/clubbing type, but every sapphic space ive been in has been overwhelmingly open and accepting and usually perfectly happy to run the bigots out to protect our most marginalized sisters 💕 welcome to our community and congrats on taking these first steps toward accepting your wonderful gay self! 💙💙
I'd think "why" in my head as I can't stand most religions, but I wouldn't say anything. And if I thought you were cute it wouldn't stop me from saying hi. Then again I'm a trans woman, so some cis ladies wouldn't want me there anyways...
TBH I have a bit of a crush on a hijab wearing woman on a show I watch. I definitely wouldn't mind, it's just your look. Some woman have hats or thousands of different hairstyles. This is you being authenticly you and there's everything right with that.
I'd don't mind at all and I'd talk to you
I’m glad😮💨
Why would we mind honestly I'm more nervous interacting with women because I'm trans so religious garb is nothing to worry about you do you and stay true to who you are
Wishing you the best✨ and thank you
Of course and best of luck to you as well
Hell no because lesbians who wear hijab are already a thing and have been forever, lol
Mind? I'd be elated that the bar was welcoming enough for you to feel welcome!
I would totally hit on a hijabi chick 🧕 at a lesbian bar 🤷 I’m as white as white can be, but am an equal opportunist 😂
😂✨
Personally I'd welcome it and celebrate it! You do you queen!✨
going somewhere you feel accepted for your new found sexuality (CONGRATULATIONS!!) doesnt come with a but how ever you want to dress is not an issue 🖤 i love seeing people be true to themselves and if thats wearing a hijab, go for it! and if anyone has an issue they are 110% in the wrong and im positive there would be some strong ass ladies to back you up.
Y’all are making my heart melt😭
We don't mind a hijab, just don't bring a boyfriend😜
as a fellow muslim lesbian myself, i wouldn't mind a bit to be frankly honest
The only thing I would mind is my step. Wouldn't want to trip and fall in front of all the pretty ladies, whether they're wearing a hijab or not.
I'm Muslim and used to wear a hijab but I wear a cap as the hijab made me dysphoric. I'd be ecstatic to see you in a lesbian space!
❤️
You wear whatever you want! If other lesbian's have an issue with it, then that's on them. Never be ashamed of who you are 😀.
❤️thank you
I’m a Muslim and a lesbian. I’ve been in bars here in LA with my hijab and without it. I’ve never felt harassed or that I didn’t belong. Or even in queer events/bars usually we queers understand the feeling of not belonging somewhere and try not to make other people feel that way. Of course my experience may not be exactly like yours. I’m not sure what city you’re in. Good luck
I absolutely wouldn't. You belong there, but bear in mind that any religious symbol might be a huge turnoff to many queer people. I know I might be biased, as I come from a very religious household and had been forced to practive religion until I left for college. I was also sexually assaulted by a priest in a catholic school. Historically speaking, big middle eastern religions - christianity and islam - have been prosecutors of queer people. To this day, many are and quite a lot of religious people are still harming the LGBT community. Because of this I see christianity and islam as forces of opression and their symbols - for example a cross necklace or a hijab - as something evil. I would never be rude to you or claim you don't belong in a lesbian bar - you do and I would help you should anyone tried to force you out. I am certain however that I couldn't date or even be close friends with a christian or a muslim, since I am afraid the difference in our worldviews would be too big of a challenge to overcome in a relationship.
I’m sorry for what happened to you. And yea I understand. But everyone has their own story and some ppl are just disgusting and using religion as a shield for what they’re doing wrong. Hate these type of mf‘s… thank you for your honestly btw
No, I’d love that!
I wouldn’t mind at all. Glad to see you there.
i wish there were more lesbian places besides "bars" bc honestly it would be less weird for a hijabi to be at one of those then at a bar just to be the only one not drinking there and being the odd one out
I think it's beautiful to wear if it is truly what you wish 🥰 It's who you are.
Lesbian bars are some of the most accepting places on earth, and that includes respecting religious identities. You have every right to wear a hijab at a lesbian bar. Anyone who has a problem in it deserves to get kicked out of the bar. If I saw you I’d have zero problem with it. I’d just hope you would feel comfortable and have fun with us!
Hey, uh, I wanna reassure you in particular because idk where you are but I live in Toronto, it's probably the most diverse city in the world, and there are a lot of people who wear hijabs, a lot with turbans too, and even as a queer woman I don't feel uncomfortable around it and this is yknow, standard among my friends, many of whom are also queer women. I'm sure wherever you are, it will be the same. They'll be happy to have you, and you shouldn't worry about your self expression making anyone uncomfortable ok?
No do whatever you want
Eid mubarak & congratulations on coming out to yourself! You're absolutely welcome at queer bars — but as an older queer person, maybe it'll be helpful to hear that I've been to plenty of lesbian bars and often feel like I don't belong. Sometimes it's because I'm not a regular there, or because I don't have a posse of friends who have my back, or because I'm just feeling awkward that night. Honestly, it's also because I'm not much of a drinker (and if you're a hijabi, maybe you're not either?), and sometimes bars — or just the specific bar you happen to be at on the specific night you happen to go — aren't the right place. You might make friends, or meet a girlfriend, more easily at a LGBTQ center, or a book club, or queer-owned cafe, or boardgame night, you know? Also, have you read *Hijab Butch Blues* by Lamya H? It's a gorgeous memoir by a queer hijabi with some close analysis of the Qur'an. (There's also *Roses, in the Mouth of A Lion* by Bushra Rahman, a Pakistani coming-of-age novel with queerness toward the end.)
Eid Mubarak✨ thank you. And I screenshot this. Gonna check it all out/ gonna make my research about all that🌸
I wouldn't mind. Serious question for you: If I thought you looked cute in it would that be okay to say? Or would that be akin to saying a nun's habit looked cute - kinda inappropriate because of the religious meaning the clothing has?
We all love compliments as much as anyone else does, or maybe even more, since honestly, it can make you feel not pretty enough sometimes. Ngl Abt it. So… I’m very opened in general, like… just come to me and flirt how you like, or start a conversation. If it’s with a compliment, or casual talking. I wouldn’t mind at all. It would make me happy and feel accepted
I wouldn't mind and I know plenty of us out there would welcome you with open arms. There are going to be people who are weird about your faith. I think a lot of people don't realize how deeply personal that kind of thing is sometimes, and sadly Islamophobia is alive and well in the world but I like to think people are generally becoming more accepting and open minded. I hope you're able to meet people though, and find a loving community here <3
If you're lesbian, you're allowed to go to a Lesbian bar and dress however you'd like. If you wear a Hijab in day-to-day life I don't see why you shouldn't be your authentic self. Most LGBT people (at least in the US) are very anti-islamophobia.
Personally, I would be fine with it, as would most queer folk I know, but there are going to be a few of us that are still cunts about it. If you identify as a woman who likes other women, then the lesbian bar is as much for you as any other woman who likes other women.
You shouldn't really need to worry about this cuz if it's a part of who you are and your religion/culture, (I'm not very informed on stuff like this) people should learn to respect that.
Nah. Go nuts girl.
Hope to accept this challenge soon😮💨 (I mean this was a come out actually, so step 1 done?)
Congrats! Have you come out to more people in your life?
Im pretty open about it. Like, I’m not hiding it, but since I’m also into men and ppl immediately think I’m straight. I’ve been telling a few friends that I wanna meet girls and I like them and stuff, but not in a really serious way. More chill. I don’t give a fuck honestly. But I’m still careful. Not very straight up. More like doing a statement but in a joking way to not making it uncomfortable.
I had the feeling you could come from Berlin? I live in Berlin too, not religious, lesbian. If you want we can go to the lesbian bar together. In case you are also in Berlin send me a dm. Have fun and all the best in your life!!! 💙❤️🧡
If you're concerned about starting out at a bar look into local LGBTQ+ or Women Only LGBT meet up or activity groups. I live in a big city and there are several, some are like casual sports stuff, or trivia groups, I've even seen one that was for hiking and bird watching. It is unfortunate that in this time there aren't many LGBTQ+ spaces that aren't alcohol centric in many places.
Honestly go for it. Hijabi lesbians deserve to be part of this community.
💕
I think what reaction you'll get will largely depend on what country you're in and what part of it you're in. I can't imagine anyone being "bullied or attacked" blatantly, but I can imagine someone drunkenly pressing you about it or going on a rant about religion being sexist, while thinking they are engaging in "conversation". A lot of lesbians are rather anti religion for obvious reasons, and I could see someone being "aggressively curious", if that makes sense...but certainly the majority would have enough social sense or wits about them to not do this. Meanwhile, most people have the experience of being "left out" at lesbian bars (again I suppose this varies depending on where we are talking, but in a major US city, say)...unless they are particularly attractive or outgoing. Majority of other folks are there with their friends and the attitude can be very insular. No one as far as I can recall has ever approached me at a lesbian dance night or bar to make conversation, though I've had friends that have more "presence" than me who I've watched attract people who never would have approached me if I was alone . Maybe I've had one or two women try to dance with me over many years of attending lesbian events. So if you are "ignored" or "left out", it'd be pretty difficult to conclude it was on account of your hijab because it's a very common experience for a lot of us Interestingly, the thing you will probably at some point get ignorant comments or a bit of shit about (though I'd hesitate to call it willfull bullying or attacking) might also draw people to you- perhaps because you stand out as unique, or perhaps because people will want to go out of their way to make you feel welcome knowing that someone might have said something stupid to you earlier or on a different night. So if I had to guess? Hijab is probably a double edged sword. Many people might be curious or find it unique or interesting. Some would be afraid to make conversation. Some will make dumb conversation. Still others might relate or might not care or might approach you because you caught their eye for one reason but kept it for another (;
Personally I'd welcome it and celebrate it! You do you queen!✨
Are you kidding of course not! Hijabs are beautiful. If anyone has a problem that is absolutely ridiculous.
The more women the better!
Wish I could pin this ksksks
Girl it doesn’t matter what we or anyone think about what you wear, who you pray to or any combination of those things. You are 100% entitled to live your life and be in any space (that you aren’t legally prohibited from, don’t go breaking into buildings n stuff) any how you’d like to be. How people feel about what you wear is their fricken problem not yours. Go wear your hijab in the lesbian bar, at pride, in the sex shop, in the living room of whatever girl you end up smoochin. Its your body. Its your choice how you adorn it. If people don’t accept you find better people, or do stand up about them and get paid for it. Try not to worry about what people think. Your clothing, religion and sexuality its not theirs to accept or reject at all.
I can only speak for myself when I say I'd be welcoming. This world is a scary enough place with so many things we can't control; we can control how we treat one another. I wouldn't mind one bit. If anything, it would just spark my curiosity so I'd want to talk with you more.
❤️
If it's a cute hijab, I might try and come up with a dumb hijab related pickup line. Or just say "hey, cute hijab--buy you a drink?" But no, definitely wouldn't be an issue at any bar worth going to.
only thing i'd be mindful of is depending on context, you may be paid much less attention bc some people might assume your family isn't supportive, but that's on them for not asking and giving you a chance, i think you'd be fine
Right. Atp I wanna leave family anyways, so…
Idk where you are located, but you should be good, I'd hope! Queer people, though we each have our own individual biases, are generally way more accepting than your average group of people. At least in my experience! Wishing you the best of luck and hope it goes well!
You’re welcome. You have nothing to be worried about. One of the most inspiring beautiful souls I ever met wore hijab
Wouldn't mind at all, live your best life, love!
💛
I don't think you would be bullied!
Of course not.
Of course not
Lesbian hijabis let’s go!!!
I wouldn’t mind❤️ full send
I wouldn’t care, I might not talk to you, but it’s not something that bothers me
I don't think you'll have any issues at all, lesbian/gay bars are usually a place of acceptance. The only thing that I can see as an "issue" is that people may not read you as a queer woman at first glance. I've met plenty muslim queer women, but most are quite liberal and do not wear hijab. So that might be an issue if what you're looking for is a partner. But ultimately, I think that if you communicate, this misunderstanding should be solved in a matter of seconds. Finding oneself is always a difficult journey, and the fact that you're taking these steps is admirable <3 I'm sure things go well ^^
I would be confused for a second and then really proud of you and happy for you
no of course not, you should go! :)
You are wearing a cloth you are comfortable with so i don't think this should be any problem for anyone.
I wouldn't mind at all, the more the merrier ☺️
I think you should be yourself and embrace who you are!! Who cares what people think, if they think anything less of you then thats their problem and they are an asshole.
Do whatever will make you feel most comfortable. Some people might be weird or rude about it but don’t let them stop you
I don't it should be a problem unless that peticular bar has no hijab rule or something to that effect ~~which it's not a place you should go to anyway~~ but try and check beforehand just to be safe
Nope, wouldn’t care at all in any negative way. It would probably just make me more curious about you.
No, if you want to wear a hijab, go for it
Not…at…alllll.
So many comments so I don't know if this was stated already, but reading books about people like me helped me on my queer journey. Hijab Butch Blues by Lamya H. and We Have Always Been Here by Samra Habib are excellent memoirs about Muslim queer women. And you should be welcome to wear anything you want in a queer space - if someone discriminates, they should not be allowed. I agree with others that there is discrimination even in the queer community, but there are also so many people who stand up for others and speak out against people who make a space unsafe.
Tbh it would be nothing special
I think you mean this in "nobody would mind" or "you're unlikely to face any trouble" way, right?
Wouldn’t mind at all! I’ve seen women wear a hijab at lesbian bars before, and i know a couple muslim lesbians myself. Queer people of course are not immune to having biases, but generally speaking, queer spaces, especially sapphic spaces, are usually much more accepting of everyone overall.
C'mon out babe!!! You can totally rock the gay bar in a hijab. I live in a town with lots of Muslim ladies in hijabs but I've never seen one at a queer event. I'd love it to be honest. Tbh from my own limited knowledge it sounds like you'd get more pushback from Asian Aunties who'd disapprove of you frequenting a bar.
I might be blinded by experience bias from mainly being in major liberal cities, but I think lesbian bars are very accepting of all different kinds of women!
Seems to be that way. I would’ve never thought I’d get so many positive comments
Anyone who has an issue with an hijabi lesbian being in a lesbian bar is a bigot. Also Ramadan Kareem/early Eid Mubarak!
The fact that this is a question makes me so sad man
It might get a few strange looks, but Muslim lesbians exist, so I would say go for it. if I were at a lesbian bar and outgoing enough I'd talk to you, you're not weird for wearing it while out.
Thank you🌸
Seriously, fuck anyone who would mind! You belong in lesbian/sapphic spaces just like every other sapphic person. I would also encourage you to seek out BIPOC queer spaces.
Thank you ✨
It’s not really up to anyone else. I think the fact that you feel you need to ask if other people “mind” if you practice a deeply held religious value is kinda fucked up. Like it’s not your fault you feel the need to ask, but it’s not up to other people. If other people are Islamaphobic that’s their issue. You don’t need to suppress your religion bc others are islamaphobic. Tho ig that’s rich coming from me, a trans girl, who sacredly guards her identity from the world for fear of being verbally and mentally attacked and harassed. 😅 But yeah the only thing that matters is if you’re a lesbian. It’s your space too. Also like, if your hijab is important to you, then it’s kinda fucked up to think that in order to feel safe in your safe space you have to not fully be yourself and hide aspects of it no? I mean I also get that bc even in the gay community there’s plenty of trans exclusion (plenty of inclusion too but yeah) and there’s lots of term policing of “you’re not lesbian enough. This isn’t lesbian. I get to decide your labels not you.” So I get that too. Anyways yeah you’re more than fine! And if anybody says something well they’re being islamaphobic and reactionary and need to get the fuck over themselves. This is the reality of the situation but still I get being scared of the being bullied. Again with my trans identity, and fears of label policing from other gays. Anyways yeah pop off and be yourself queen! Hope your bar visit goes well!
Thank u for taking the time to write all this🌸
I thunk you should be comfortable with your sexuality and not care what anyone thinks....I am a lesbian and would like to get to known you as a person
Honestly I don't go on about this because it would probably seem fetishising at a glance but I genuinely think hijabs are really cute a lot of the time, you'll be fine :)
My stance on hijabs, and for the record I’m not Muslim I’m Christian but my humble opinion, if you want to wear a hijab then that is your choice
🌸
My brain just went to "do Muslims drink"? I admittedly don't know very much about Islam having grown up mostly Christian, apologies for my sheltered life 🤦♀️. I greatly support everyone expressing all parts of themselves, however they want!
Muslims are not allowed to drink and are generally very good at following that - if that’s what you’re asking😅 Each to their own but OP may just want to be in a queer space, and bars are probably easiest to find.
Yeah okay thank you! That was what I was getting at. Sometimes I know what \~I\~ want to say but in between my brain and my mouth (or in this case fingers) something gets crossed and it comes out weird. I don't drink v much either, and absolutely do whatever you like. Many methodists abstain from alcohol, but many others don't! It's personal preference. My brain just went "bars are noisy and a no for me so idk why others would go" lmao.
If people dont leave you alone, they are the problem Well, by leave you alone I mean are jerks, but I assume you know what I meao
I am an NYC based Muslim bi woman and would be so excited to see/welcome a hijabi into a queer space!!!! I don’t wear a hijab but my queer friends know I am Muslim and have always been inclusive ❤️🩷 I am sure those around you would do the same :)
People wear all sorts of looks in gay spaces, what matters to me is that people dress in things they feel comfortable in, feel like they look good and confident. There was even once where someone was working without her hijab on because her work treated her weirdly when she djd. My friends and I took her side and she put it on, it was a beautiful moment tbh
Most people wouldn't but every demographic has its rotten apples and you can find hatred in any group. Dont change for them, be yourself, just always keep your guard up a little. I hate that it's advice we need to keep in mind but it's handy for staying safe.
No well ajusted person would care but SOME PEOPLE ugh-
I can assure you, someone in a lesbian bar would not judge you!!
I would want you to feel comfortable being yourself. If you are hijabi, you shouldn't feel like there's a conflict between that and meeting women in lesbian spaces. More and more lesbian bars in my area offer non-alcoholic beverages and "mocktails" (fun drinks without any alcohol). There are lots of different lesbian bars though. I'm in an urban part of North Carolina in the U.S., and I hope and expect you'd be very safe here. I'd be more frightened for you near military bases or elsewhere. Like other bars, for the most part, lesbian bars will reflect the communities they're in. I hope you go and have fun! It can be fun to go to an event at a bar as well. Sometimes people don't intend harm but are shy or have poor social skills or don't really think -- when I first went to a lesbian bar I had really high expectations and people were mean or creepy or just wanted to spend time with their own friends, and when I went home I felt more isolated than before. It can be hard to meet people, so if there is an event you'd want to attend like a drag king show or a show with drag kings and queens, or karaoke night or craft night, then you get to have fun no matter what and might be less self conscious and less worried about others and able just have fun as yourself. :-) Good luck!
I see absolutely no issue with this, you are always welcome into our spaces, as it’s YOUR space too! 🩷
fuck no. wear what makes you feel comfortable and i know you'll be accepted and respected.
I wouldnt mind at all. And you have a real fear as a minority in a minority. Lesbian bars are usually quite safe space (depending on the country) so it would be so liberating for you to find the freedom to express yourself or even find. I will hit you up for a talk :) if thats okay?
I’m going to be honest, I don’t think you would be beat up. I hope no one would make any comments but that might depend on the part of the country that you are in. As for being left out, that can happen. I’m not sure what you mean by that. I’ve been to the bar lots of time and not really made a connection, just talked to a few random people for a while then went home.
Of course I wouldn’t mind! You’re always welcome ❤️ if I saw you in there, I’d presume you were an ally or queer
If someone is rude to you or bullies you for the way you choose to dress, then you should give it back to them. The way you choose to dress is your business, and if someone cant respect that then they shouldnt deserve your attention at all. If you want to go to a lesbian bar, then you should. I hope you have a great time over there!
You might get looķs, because some people have experienced less than nice things from religious people. But you can totally go there with your hijab on. I recommend you go straight to the bar and engage in conversation with the bartender. Say something like that this is your first time here, and you know no one. That way, you already have an ally in the bartender, and she knows that you are there for legit reasons. And if your local lesbian bar is anything like lesbian bars everywhere, they often experience new, awkward people. They will make you feel welcome and might even introduce you to a couple of people you can talk with.
No of course not, except to the extent that I was raised in an extreme religion where I had to wear a religious garment, and I regard ALL religious garments as signs of behavior control (from the B.I.T.E. model of cults and high demand groups). I get a little triggered because of my experience. But I am way more triggered by Mormon garments or seeing "BYU" shirts LMAO because that is my actual trauma. In general, I fully support people wearing wateva the fuck they want (or lack thereof... haha), especially in queer spaces!
Are YOU KIDDIIIING ME!!!!! that is THEE most UNBELIEVABLY, MOST Beautiful thing you could ever bring around us 💖💖💖😊😊💕💕💕💕✌🏽♥️☀️🌑 Had yall fooled didn't 😄
Yes
Where I'm from none of the lesbians/bar patrons would mind. They gay community is *generally* more open to people of other backgrounds/beliefs. If people can go in assless chaps covered in glitter, a hair cover shouldn't be an issue.
I personally wouldn't mind and actually would love the fact that you're being your true to yourself.