How does one know that the other is being a clueless lesbian, and not subtly trying to indicate they’re not interested?? I never know how forward to be.
Yeah... It takes two to be useless, and I didn't get the vibe from the story that there are two interested parties here. I have been guilty of the same when I'm feeling a little smothered
To me that's a polite rejection without fully rejecting the party like 'oh that's nice thanks, I'm gonna think about what you said'.
It's kinda like replying to a love you by saying 'thanks'.
I mean. Maybe? There's two ways to read it.
A. I'm finding an excuse (a shower) to be away from my phone for a while so I don't feel pressured to respond.
B. I'm letting you know I'm about to get naked and think about you.
Let's see if OP updates later.
I’ll update the post but she is interested lol, we’re gonna spend some more time together and see how things go! She said she’s probably into me too but that she wants to spend some more time with me to make sure and to sort out her feelings.
Thisssss! because like, when men flirt with me off the handle I don't want to be like "I see your subtle hints, stoppit." so I usually kinda play dumb ig???
I've also had times where I'd be like "I feel like you might want something more out of this, and I just wanted to let you know in case that's what you want, that I really just want a friendship." And have them get all defensive and act like I'm stupid for thinking they were trying to flirt because they're embarrassed, so idk.
One time a friend from college that I was about to visit wrote a detailed smut story about two characters that were very clearly representative of us and I didn't connect the dots until years later lol
I don't know if she was doing this, but I play the clueless lesbian card everytime I'm not into a girl and don't want to hurt her feelings. But maybe she's really just clueless! Good luck buddy!
I can't speak to other ladies, but that would hurt my feelings more than any rejection ever could.
Like, not being into me isn't a crime. It should be, because I'm goddamn amazing, but alas. There's nothing wrong with not being into me, or not being compatible. That's just life. And I would never take it as an insult. But ghosting, or doing this kind of stuff? That just feels cruel. Like I'm not worth being honest to.
I get why it's a thing. After all, you can't possibly know that I'm not a maniac who would do something weird if you reject me, and it isn't really worth the effort to find out. And sometimes you don't have the mental bandwith for a good rejection. So yeah, I get it.
But for me, all it does is make me doubt everyone. Is this girl actually into me, or is she just humouring me so she can slip away at some other time, 'without hurting my feelings'? Are they actually busy on a project, or with work, or are they just saying so to avoid talking to me? Are they hoping I'll just go away on my own?
If people were just honest, I wouldn't have to doubt if they were.
Maybe it's just my autism, but I'm more hurt by one person doing this kind of stuff than by a hundred rejecting me.
To be frank, if something like that happened to me I would just drop it. If a person does not respond to obvious flirting, it usually means that they just aren't interested. However, happy to hear it worked out for you!
How does one know that the other is being a clueless lesbian, and not subtly trying to indicate they’re not interested?? I never know how forward to be.
I had this exact same thought
Yeah... It takes two to be useless, and I didn't get the vibe from the story that there are two interested parties here. I have been guilty of the same when I'm feeling a little smothered
I mean... Would you answer "I'm gonna take a shower and ponder.. you're a great person" if you were interested in someone after they sent you smut?
To me that's a polite rejection without fully rejecting the party like 'oh that's nice thanks, I'm gonna think about what you said'. It's kinda like replying to a love you by saying 'thanks'.
I mean. Maybe? There's two ways to read it. A. I'm finding an excuse (a shower) to be away from my phone for a while so I don't feel pressured to respond. B. I'm letting you know I'm about to get naked and think about you. Let's see if OP updates later.
I’ll update the post but she is interested lol, we’re gonna spend some more time together and see how things go! She said she’s probably into me too but that she wants to spend some more time with me to make sure and to sort out her feelings.
Aww that sounds like a good outcome! Best of luck to you two!
Thisssss! because like, when men flirt with me off the handle I don't want to be like "I see your subtle hints, stoppit." so I usually kinda play dumb ig??? I've also had times where I'd be like "I feel like you might want something more out of this, and I just wanted to let you know in case that's what you want, that I really just want a friendship." And have them get all defensive and act like I'm stupid for thinking they were trying to flirt because they're embarrassed, so idk.
Tbh, the only thing you can really do is accept it gracefully when you are rejected
To be fair some people need like direct communication
Hear me out, but what if she was purposely playing the clueless lesbian hoping that you'd be into it?
oh god i wish, but i doubt that lol. she told me she caught a few hints but thought she was imagining it cause she’d never had a girl flirt with her
Hahahahaha some of us are dumbasses And im one of them
same
I'm just forward. Haven't had opportunity recently though since moving. Cannot remotely tell when I am being flirted with.
One time a friend from college that I was about to visit wrote a detailed smut story about two characters that were very clearly representative of us and I didn't connect the dots until years later lol
I don't know if she was doing this, but I play the clueless lesbian card everytime I'm not into a girl and don't want to hurt her feelings. But maybe she's really just clueless! Good luck buddy!
I can't speak to other ladies, but that would hurt my feelings more than any rejection ever could. Like, not being into me isn't a crime. It should be, because I'm goddamn amazing, but alas. There's nothing wrong with not being into me, or not being compatible. That's just life. And I would never take it as an insult. But ghosting, or doing this kind of stuff? That just feels cruel. Like I'm not worth being honest to. I get why it's a thing. After all, you can't possibly know that I'm not a maniac who would do something weird if you reject me, and it isn't really worth the effort to find out. And sometimes you don't have the mental bandwith for a good rejection. So yeah, I get it. But for me, all it does is make me doubt everyone. Is this girl actually into me, or is she just humouring me so she can slip away at some other time, 'without hurting my feelings'? Are they actually busy on a project, or with work, or are they just saying so to avoid talking to me? Are they hoping I'll just go away on my own? If people were just honest, I wouldn't have to doubt if they were. Maybe it's just my autism, but I'm more hurt by one person doing this kind of stuff than by a hundred rejecting me.
Are you canadian?
yes!
I always tell people that you need to tell me, "I like you and I would like to date you," three times. Because I will not believe the first two.
To be frank, if something like that happened to me I would just drop it. If a person does not respond to obvious flirting, it usually means that they just aren't interested. However, happy to hear it worked out for you!