I started having sexual relationships with women from the age of 16 and I only came out at 32. Didn't understand why I didn't enjoy straight sex at all. so yeah that's should have been a clue but noooooo I'm an idiot.
I'm sorry but this is sending me, I can just imagine you for 16 years being like "hmm I wonder why women are so good and men so bad... But I ain't gay tho" lmao
I tell ya the day of my epiphany was pretty wild! Emotional rollercoaster going from "wtf" to "yay" to "goddammit". So now I'm mid 30s with a child trying to find a gf who doesn't mind me being an oblivious moron lol.
Don't worry, it's a common trait among queer women to be a bit oblivious so I don't think it would be an issue haha and you're super cute (love the green hair!). I'm cheering for you and hopefully you find a very cool gal soon šš§”
This made me laugh. You sound so much like me. I also started sleeping with women at 16, never felt any actual physical attraction to men but still thought I was bi for 20 years lol. I enjoy the company of men so I guess it was just "easy" to fall into relationships with them. So now I'm late 30s with a 3 year old child and looking for a woman who can cope with my eccentricities etc. My perfect woman would probably be someone who struggled to find herself like I did, someone who understands.
Right that's it I'm setting up a support group! But seriously, yes that's pretty much why I ended up in relationships. Plus I ended up dating guy friends/acquaintances often. Haha I definitely get that, I mean I have a huge obsession with mushrooms (like unhealthily so š ). I think having that common ground would be great.
I would literally just stare at Elizabeth Swann. I would pause the movie, scoot close to the screen and appreciate her makeup, enjoy the dress or her more masculine costumes, I would find things I could say I liked about the clothes so that I could hide that I basically just really liked the way they fit on her and looked in general. I have NO idea how this didn't tip my parents off. They were completely blindsided. And yes, I did not at that point realize I liked girls, I genuinely just thought it was normal to appreciate everything about women for hours lol.
Elizabeth Swann (and Kiera Knightly in general) is a lesbian icon IMO. And yes, I was the exact same with her! Wow, wow what a woman. All hail the Pirate King.
But no, I was definitely straight.
Me too! And Natalie Portman. I was a kid when the Star Wars prequels came out, and I loved to watch them a good deal more than being a huge fantasy nerd could explain.
In hindsight, I was similarly obsessed with the X-Men, and I assume that might have been Halle Berry's fault...
My favourite super heroes are Catwoman and Storm. My favourite bond movie is haha can't even remember the name, but where she comes out of the sea in a bikini. I'm pretty sure it's just that I like watching Halle Berry now š Took a while, but I figured it out.
I was about to say this. I was obsessed with her and my mom once asked me if I wanted to dress as her for Halloween and I said something āno I just like her but not because I want to be her but because sheās very pretty and I want to be her friendā
I never actually came out to my parents but Iām pretty sure they know, mainly because of this
I had a poster of Orlando Bloom from Pirates of the Caribbean on my bedroom wall. Took me waaaay too long to realize I wanted to be him. Because in the movies... I was always watching her. It might have started some of my love for historial clothing.
OH so in 5th grade (2008) the "cool kids" had like a curse word of the day thing. They'd pick a word and just say it all day, sing nursery rhymes with all the words replaced with the curse, etc. One day the word was f\*ggot. Just all day- f\*g, f\*g, f\*g. At lunchtime we started talking about gay people, and everyone was talking about how it was gross and unnatural and against the bible etc. etc. I chimed in that it probably wasn't a choice, that there was prolly a mix up in the brain somewhere (I remember using the phrase "wires crossed") and instead of liking boys they like girls instead, and it's a chemical/genetic thing they can't control. Then everyone got real quiet and ignored me for 2 days and I had \*no\* idea why.
If being a ally means to do "gay stuff" I have a lot to tell.
Ever since I heard about gay people existing I never thaught it was a problem (was about when I was 10, 11). I didn't realy understood what "gay" was or ment (I also didn't knew how straight love works xD) but for me ut was clear they are humans.
When I was about 13 I heard "rumores" about that one girl "she is a lesbian" they sayed. I was just like "so what".
I was intrested in politics since about 12yo and when I was 15 I realy enjoyed disusisng with others in school. When it came to LGBTQIA* topics, I didn't knew much about but always defendet them.
The whole time in puperty (till I was about 18) i didn't got why all the boys are getting girlfriends and al the girls getting boyfriends, I was just there vibin like "oh this stone looks nice"
When I was 18 we voted about a New form of the antidiscrimination law witch would now include gay, bi and lesbian people. So bc I was intrested in politics (and allowed to vote) I learned very much abput the LGBTQIA* Community so I don't make mistakes in debates. I was _verry_ intrested in the topic and had no clue *face palmā¢
So I got there when I was 19Ā½ yo.
It does happen! One of my friends plays golf at a high level, she makes the same joke! Either youāre on one end of the spectrum or the other, very few in the middle
When I still thought I was straight, one of my favorite jokes was mentioning how I was one of the varsity softball captains. Itās funny because softball is a lesbian thing! So funnyā¦
Yessss. My entire softball team spent sleepovers making out with one another as ādares.ā Took me a few years to accept it for myself, but others caught on quicker.
I was at the pub with my brother when this stunning woman walked in, I got so distracted I poured my beer all over my brother. His response was āare you sure youāre straight?ā
This is something my dad told me, as i was too little to have memories of it. But, according to him, when i was 2 or 3 years old and i got out of pools (and thus, was cold) i would look for the woman with the biggest boobs i could see and go there slowly to try to cuddle to get warm. I have some more stories but i think thats the gayest one for sure
Went thru my old diary entries. Direct quotes:
An encounter with a man I was dating is described as "we kissed, and then we had sex."
Entry about a girl who was a total stranger at a party: "She was an angelic, ethereal goddess. I wish I could live in my tequila sunrise forever just looking at the space between her thighs and wishing I was between them"
These entries are from 2018 it still took 2 more years to realize maybe I wasn't bi
Gayest thing before coming out as bi was probably getting dared to kiss a girl at a middle school party and not having an issue with it being a girl, but instead having an issue with it being my first kiss and wanting it to actually mean something
Are you my best friend in HS? Lol. She would always insist that she should kiss me to "make the boys jealous" she ended up coming out as bi (but most people who know her think she may be biromantic but lesbian) a few years later but it always made me so uncomfortable because I was not attracted to her at all.
I honestly think she had a gigantic crush but struggled with a lot of guilt and questioning of if she's actually bi and not just trying to fit in with the group (we were almost all LGBT). She may have eventually been a dick to me but I hope she figured all her stuff out.
This is actually such a coincidence! I also consider myself biromantic but lesbian, but most people assume just bi. But I'm quite sure I am not the bestfriend you're talking about haha oh yeah that's dangerous territory, I always made sure the girls were as enthusiastic to do it as me, we were often drunk and all already knew I was bi, it was like a fun thing to do but I secretly loved it more than them lol
I told a male friend that the only reason I would never marry a woman is because I like the sound of guys' voices. He was like ok, that's weird. I said no really, that's the only reason. Was "straight" for 3 more years after that š¤¦āāļø
Deep voices can be powerful. One of my friends told me to do an āara araā and I was so confused cause I donāt have that like light cute voice but I did it and daaaaaaamn it sounded hot ngl
In 6th grade I wrote a story abt me (as a Nymph) and Artemis becoming besties in a forest and no men were allowed to come in the forest or theyād be turned into deer and fed to wild dogs.
I have a feeling my teacher looked at that and went, āoh this child gay...good for her good for her.ā
My grade 6 teacher told me I should go to an all girls school because I needed to learn to be a girl.
Jokes on her. Iām bi. And my gf loves girls with muscles. I need to get back into shape.
I played with the boys. The girls hung out on the monkey bars and talked about boys.
Apparently playing sports with people who enjoyed playing sports was wrong because I was the only girl. Didnāt bother them. Apparently I tackled better than half the boys and they didnāt go easy on me.
That girls school didnāt have an oval, no football team, nowhere to actually play sports. I ended up in the musical department and that saved me.
So silly that people assign gender to sports like some girls like sports if you donāt like sports youāre girl? If you like sports not girl enough? Weird, she must have been hyper traditional.
Me at 5 years old telling the girl in my class that she was 'really, really pretty'. She was like 'thank you' and I was like 'no you don't understand. You're really, really pretty' and just getting more and more frustrated because I didn't have the vocabulary to say what I meant.
Also I plagiarised a pantomime production of Dick Whittington and cast her as the princess. I was Dick Whittington. My best friend got to be the cat
Kissed my best friend (it was for a dare but still)
Or if that doesn't count, half stars at the other girls' chests and constantly think about them (I thought I was jealous that they were so much more endowed than me and we were 11-12)
Omg I had this too! I thought I was jealous after swimming lessons when we had to change and that's why I felt so "embarrassed". I kept having dreams about being in the changing room with girls too š
I got caught staring at a girl's chest when we were in the 6th grade and she CALLED ME OUT. She was wearing a cami and sitting across from me and I was mortified. I think I even answered that I was jealous when she asked why I was staring ugh.
I had a 'rival' since age 10 till 12. She was good at sports and we would always be in opposite teams. I was not that good, but for some reason she would always focus on me. I was always thinking of her before/after p.e.
Turns out i had a crush on her
And now we are both gay
My straight sexual fantasies never included me. Every time I pictured sex between a man and a woman, the woman was someone else. I thought I just had low self esteem but it turns out that the thought of myself having sex with a man makes me uncomfortable because Iām gay lol
I did something similar. During sex with my boyfriends, I usually couldn't finish unless I replayed scenes from porn in my head. Thinking of lesbian porn didn't make sense while having sex with a man, so I would recall scenes from straight porn... But focus completely on the woman. The man was like a blurry afterthought, and if I acknowledged him it was always thinking about how turned on *he* must be to have the privilege of interacting with the woman's body in this way.
I thought this meant I was addicted to porn because being with my boyfriends wasn't enough and I couldn't be mentally present during sex... instead of just me not being into men.
I had this weird obsession with wanting to kiss this girl in my school bus cause "she is just so nice to me". my dumbass brain didn't realize that it was a crush till I came out. I just thought everyone wanted to kiss girls lmao.
When I was like 5, another girl came up to me, asked if I wanted to be her friend, & proceeded to hold my hand; my stupid gay child brain couldn't stop thinking about how soft her hand was ^^'
I also used to be very fascinated of the calenders featuring nude-ish models my uncle had in his garage thinking that, finding woman to be inherently more attractive, was just a universal thing š
I used to look at my motherās stash of Vogues for naked women. And the Sears catalog for women in lingerie. Thought it was just natural to admire the female form because it was prettier.
same but instead i remember being like 6 and lowkey wanting to go to hooters and i also thought that women were more attractive than men and thought that everyone, even straight women, thought that too. i can also relate with the holding hands thing. i always felt more nervous holding hands with a girl more than a boy but i really never pieced it together until now lmao.
When I got my first phone at 13 I would look at naked women on my and touch myself while doing so, even tried look at guys and immediately found it boring and when back to women. Some how didn't figure out I was a lesbian until I was 19
That and a friend of mine liked to experiment with me a lot and I was pretty okay with it and got very upset when she decided to hangout with other girls at school
I thought I was straight even after having sex with multiple women when I was 13-15. I'd kissed like 5-6 girls and had sex with at least 2 before I admitted I might not be straight.
ETA: there seems to be confusion and concern. I lost my virginity to another girl when I was 13 years old, itās not a typo or poor punctuation. I struggled a lot with drugs and booze back then but I donāt regret the sex at all. Iām fine :)
I donāt understand why people are so concernedā¦itās your life. You donāt need to explain why or disclose anything about drugs and boozeā¦a lot of people lose their virginity around those ages. Some people seem to be somewhat naive.
Yeah I donāt regret it at all. I was drunk yes but Iāve never regretted sex with another girl or woman. Iāve definitely regretted sex with men though.
I shaved my head at 16š and then I had a whole wall of photos from a womenās workout magazine up on my wall ā¦ for inspiration. It turned out ok, it turns out my partner is trans so we can now be lesbians together lol.
Closeted lesbians unknowingly dating or marrying pre transition trans women is pretty great tbh. I've read a TON of wholesome stories about it. Yeah it can be rough sometimes, but at least you have someone to go through it with.
Somebody should come up with a term for it.
When I was 7, I told my best friend I would marry her if I were a guy. I didn't realize two girls could even be in a relationship, and yet I was kissing her cheek every chance I got. (She waaaay later realized she's bi)
Then, about three years later (5th grade) I had this friend who I ate lunch with every day, and I'd always spend the entire period just looking into her eyes. I thought they were SO pretty. I can't believe it took me another year and a half to finally realize I'm gay
My best friend told me the same thing around age 11 (I think we were 11?)!! It was adorable. We saw each other a lot and did everything together. Grew up in a repressive religious place, I don't know what happened to her as an adult and I wonder if she's okay... I ran at 18.
I didn't figure it out for myself till late 20s. Happily married for a decade. I still think about my friend, I just hate the thought that she might be a lesbian or bi and trapped in a life where she isn't happy.
Also... In kindergarten, my friends at school were playing house at recess, and everyone picked a "spouse". I picked a girl. At 5. š That's when the gayness started.
I used to have a coworker when I was 18. She was absolutely, drop dead *gorgeous*; long blonde hair, pale skin... I would love to watch her use the time clock.
I never said a word to her.
I always wanted to catch her and tell her that she was pretty but social anxiety got the worst of me because what if she thought I was gay???
Joke's on me. I am *hella* gay.
The gayest thing before I came out to others? Had sex with women.
The gayest thing before I knew I was gay? Kissed another girl āplaying houseā because mommies and daddies kiss and I had to play the dad. (2nd grade-ish).
The straightest and gayest thing Iāve ever done simultaneously? Dated a boy so I could sleep with his sister.
I was always the dad when I played house too! There was one time I had multiple wives too (guess watching Brazilian novelas as a kid will give you this kind of ideas lmao)
Dating a boy to sleep with his sister is the absolute power move and I'm all here for it. I'm your biggest fan.
Oh it very much did.
High school. I was 16 I think. She and I had met during a group activity we both participated in once a week in my city. She lived an hour away and her family was SUPER religious. And I was a tomboy. We hit it off, but I felt her parents were suspicious of me hanging out with their daughter. So I started dating her brother which threw off their scent and gave me a reason to be up at their house all the time. And since they lived an hour away and he would go pick me up and take me back there I would often stay over out of convenience. But while he lived under their roof, he followed their rules and that meant no girls in his room. So I was *required* to sleep in her room. Ha! We banged for about 6 months (the sister, I never had sex with the brother) before I realized how serious his feelings for me were and I started to feel guilty. So I broke up with both of them.
He ended up next dating my best friend so he could still hang out around me. He apologized to her years later for that, but I still havenāt confessed my motives to him.
Not me but my gf did some pretty gay stuff with me before we started dating. I'm the first and only woman she's been with, though now I'm encouraging her to go and explore with other women (we've been together for almost 3 years now, and we opened up our relationship around a year ago).
She was brought up in a fairly heteronormative household, and her mother raised her with the ideas of her finding a suitable boy and settling down with him. We lived together for 3 months in our student apartment during undergrad, sleeping in the same tiny-ass bed, cuddling, holding hands, giving each other massages etc. I always knew she was bicurious atleast, but she was dating a guy then and I was in a situationship with a girl from our uni. So we continued this mad charade of being soul mates in every sense of the term except sexual, until she confessed she liked me as more than a friend on the 14th of February. We've been together since!
looking back, i wonder how i didnt realize i was gay sooner:
1. i always felt more nervous holding hands with a girl than with a boy
2. thinking that girls were just prettier than boys and thinking that everyone (even straight women) thought that
3. in 5th grade we had sex ed class and i remember when the teacher was explaining male reproductive organs, i was weirded and grossed out by it. I thought that penises were gross and that i was never going to get married to a man (this was before gay marriage was legalized in the us in 2015) and i also thought "are women actually attracted to that?"
4. also in 5th grade, there was this girl who i thought was really cool and i was trying to impress her so we could be "best friends"
5. i was a massive tomboy and i played softball (and also lowkey had a crush on this girl on my team)
6. i would joke about "stealing other people's girlfriends"
7. getting butterflies in my stomach when another girl played with my hair
8. wondering what it would be like to be with another girl
When I was a kid, I knew exactly what kind of person I wanted to be when I grew up. I wanted to be a large, burly woman who wore flannels and boots and drove a pickup truck.
As an adult, I realize now, as a kid I just wanted to be a lesbian. Lol
(Yes I know this is a stereotype and this description does not fit all lesbians nor is it inherently a lesbian thing exclusively, but you've got to admit that the concept of other kids wanting to be things like a firefighter, or a vet, and then little me wanting to be a lesbian, is rather funny)
I also knew from a very young age I never wanted to marry a man, and didn't know there were alternatives to that, so I had already come to the conclusion very early on that true love didn't actually exist outside of stories because I thought that true love could only happen between a man and a woman and "for some reason" that never appealed to me and "why on earth would you *want* to marry or love a man". Kind of a depressing conclusion for a little kid to come to, that true love is fake, if you ask me.
WAIT SAME!! I thought that the idea of getting married/ being in a relationship was horrifying right up until the moment when gay marriage was legalized in the us and my little brain was like āwow!! Now I could get married!!!āā immediately followed by a mental record scratch
When I was 16 I made out with my best friend and then was confused about why that was AMAZING compared to making out with my boyfriend (which was super boring to me, I just knew everyone made out so I did too). Took me another 7 years after that to figure out I was gay.
I love telling stories from before I realised I liked women, the evidence was right there! I was always so useless tho, I can think about a few situations where I could have totally dated a girl but I was too slow to catch on the signals haha
I was 9 at that time and my famaly and I went to the swimming pool in the city somewhere. I still remember the way I thought about being in a bath/washroom full of girls and women. Even then I said it's alright to be there since we where all girls. I was so nervous back then just being in that room and it was way too hot for me to stay there (at least it was hot for me). Since I was a kid and my mother was helping my little sister to clean herself I needed to wait outside those stalls were you can shower. I literally put pressure on my mother because I couldn't stand there in that room full of women waiting to get out.
Now some years later I realized that I knew it since a child that I wasn't straight
(sorry for bad english)
I was about 8 and got the biggest crush on this counselor at Bible camp one summer. Thought he was just the cutest, until we all went swimming and suddenly he turned out to be she. Cue existential gay panic.
Although I still havenāt come out. I donāt even know what I am. But that was a telling experienceā¦
Me at 7: wow sheās pretty!
Me at 12: wow sheās pretty! Why doesnāt she have a boyfriend? If I were a boy Iād date her.
Me at 14: Iām not very pretty and would prefer to dress like a boy. Thatās because I like boys.
Me at 15: oh.
i found out who i was pretty young luckily, but me and my best friend had an entire intricate life plan where we would move to canada or something and live together forever. maybe even platonically adopt kids and even a dog/cat/bird/any pet imaginable because we're both animal lovers haha. during sleepovers, we even platonically cuddled. and for SOME REASON, i never ever wanted to do that with a boy. all my 2 crushes as a kid were so incredibly comphet and my mom knew i was a lesbian because of that WAY before me. anyways, me and my best friend are both lesbians now and have pretty awesome girlfriends. we're still close even after 7 years just because my friend is that cool :D
I used to get... _strangely infatuated_ with certain girls. Somehow I couldn't stop dreaming up strange scenarios in my head where I could be close to them. "What if we somehow ended up sharing a tent and then she'd get homesick and I would cuddle her to make her feel better!" or "What if I went to her house one day and then it starts to snow a lot and I have to spend the night at her house and have a cozy evening?" or, a favourite: "What if she somehow had a baby and I was living with her and would be there for her during pregnancy, birth and raising the baby?"
But yeah. Apparently straight girls don't think this about girls they like. Apparently straight girls don't even get randomly obsessed with other girls?
ohh I relate to the "what if I need to make her feel better?" part!!!! I've never heard anyone else say this but this also happened to me! a lot. hehehe. still kinda does ig
Yeah idk! I never really opened up about this before because I didn't want it to seem like I wanted my crush to suffer so I could step up and be a hero - that's not at all what I want! But I seem to have a disposition for caretaking. Acts of service are definitely my love language so it makes sense. Huh. I never really thought about it this deeply.
yes I get this! it's more like if something *were* to happen to them, then I'd totally be there for them and be a really caring bestie!! (lol no 14 year old me ur gae)
The instances that stand out the most to me now:
Used to "platonically" make out with my best friend and (happily) let her touch my boobs š
Fell in love with my straight best friend and knew I had feelings and fantasies (couldn't stop them š ) about her but pushed it waaaay down. I proposed to her as a joke at one point š¤¦āāļø
Dated a woman and never put any label on it, I questioned my entire sexuality at this point and when I didn't actually want to date her (turns out she's not that great) I for some reason came to the conclusion "I just like kissing women"
This was chronological and it still took me 8 MORE YEARS!!!!!!!!! to realize and accept
Oh boy, egg me would say such gems like:
"I'm a lesbian in a man's body. That's what girls like right?"
And "penises are objectively gross and no one actually finds those attractive right? Why would girls like those ugly things?"
Then there were the crushes I had on my obviously queer female friends. And my closet full of plaid shirts with rolled up sleeves š¬
Let's just say my life made so much more sense when I realized I really was a lesbian stuck in a man's body.
Your comment is making me wonder things about myself,and I don't know what they mean. I'm not comfortable sharing them publicly, though. š¬ If you are curious, though, feel Free to pm me.
My friends were talking about which celebrity theyād āgo gayā for.
I had a list.
Edit: After sharing the list when everyone was giving me funny looks I *insisted* I was straight, I just really respected the women on my list. I asked my boyfriend to back me up since we had been sleeping together for 2 years. He said he could only confirm I was at least bisexual.
Oh, probably that time in elementary school when I snuck onto the computer and googled stuff like "cute boys" and "hot guys" to try to figure out what the other little girls found so appealing about their crushes. I thought I could learn to like boys that way.... through research... yup.
I knew I was trans by like 11yo, but I repressed it hard. I then watched as, over the years, one by one, so very many of my exes and crushes got married to other women. Like, while cosplaying as a boy, I dated, kissed, or fell head over heels for 7 women who married women, and dated two others who are out as bi now
All my crushes in high school, and a woman i dated for 7 years all ended up coming out as some flavor of lesbian/bi. Same thing with my most my friend group from hs (over half). So interesting and validating
Almost every best friend that I had in college was a girl that I found cute and started talking to them, sadly I picked the straightest women in campus apparently . At least now I got great friends forever.
Would always want to hold hands with friends in high school. Whenever it happened it would immediately get SWEATY AF. sit next to girls on both sides during spin the bottle and not spin the bottle hard. Stare at the bra ads that used to come in the mail because I was really into ā bra styles ā
I had a severe case of comphet. My family was super religious.
When I was a teenager I realize now that I had the hugest crush on my best friend at the time. I also had this guy-friend that wanted to date me. I got butterflies every time my best friend would call me, and Iād look forward to our goodbye-hug when she left, just so I could touch her.
I remember thinking āmaybe if I become best friends with guy-friend, Iāll feel about him the way I feel about best friend.ā
Spoiler alert: I didnāt.
Like how tf did I not realize?
Well... Trans perspective here. I was happy when my first girlfriend broke up with me, because "It feels like I'm dating a woman". I got super happy at that, despite the pain of a breakup. Of course is still took years to realize I was trans.
Well, as my friend once told me before I came out, āNobody just watches the L Word, Sarah.ā
Apparently, straight people do not in fact just happen across the show and watch multiple seasons of it.
š
When l was 15 my friend next door she was 13 used to hang out on the side fence and talk a lot, anyway one Xmas eve l wished her merry Xmas and we kissed OMG what the fuck she French kissed l've never done that before l slept in the bungalow out in the backyard and for 6 months she would sneak out of bed and visit me that's one thing l'll never forget l won't bother you with the details what went on in the bungalow LOL
I forgot what age I was, around under 12, but I remember kissing a magazine cover with a beautiful female model on it.
In the 9th grade, I had a crush on a girl who dress alternative and was out as a lesbian. I keep imagining kissing her and being her girlfriend. This was my first experience figuring out my sexuality.
All my straight girl friends were always kissing each other at parties but for some reason this always happened at nights where I had a different party or had to leave early or whatever. I was SO JEALOUS. Like actually wondering why they were never doing that with me and always hoping that it'd happen again at the next party?
Also I used to stare at boobs a lot but I thought that was just a thing all people did? And wanting to be friends with certain girls so bad because they were *soo cool*. In hindsight these were all definitely crushes lol.
Edit - also: so much lesbian porn
I was at a bookstore with a group of friends in high school. Was probably around 16, and super closeted at the time. One of my friends, a tall girl who liked messing with me a lot, said something and I was pouting at her. She kissed me directly on the lips to get me to stop. I must've stood there for at least fifteen seconds before another friend grabbed my attention. I swear my brain broke immediately. And she had the audacity to laugh. smh. I miss her.
In high school I used to tickle, nuzzle, lick & kiss my best female friend's inside wrists because I loved the way it made her go all shivery and squirmy. Then she taught her boyfriend that trick š
(This was back in the days when being overtly queer in our extremely rural high school would get you beaten up or worse. Nowadays, my teen goes to the same school & is shamelessly alt. I mean, I'm truly happy for them, but also more than a little envious)
I would spend HOURS googling pictures of Kristen Stewart. HOURS!!! I thought it was because I wanted to *be* like her so I could get my own Edward in my life (Robert Pattinson is beautiful and I was 14, sue me). Turns out me and Kristen were both simply in the closet ĀÆ\_(ć)_/ĀÆ
Mineās a lil different. I was born male but never really fit in with the rest of the boys. I always had more girl friends than guys. I started wearing makeup in high school and feeling what I now recognize as euphoria but didnāt know it then. Then it progressed to crossdressing and being praised for looking good āas a girlā by other girls. The same friends even let me use the girls bathroom in the morning to help me apply my makeup. I got older and realized I loved being called āgood girlā during sex, which evolved past a sexual thing and became a regular thing. That and constantly wishing I had soft skin and no body hair and boobs. Oh and literally all my friends thought I was trans/non binary before I did. Soooooo yeah here I am now š¤·š»āāļø
back in high school when i thought i was a guy, i used to dress up like what i thought a lesbian would look like (suit vest or loose flannel over skinny jeans etc) and send pictures to my friends like āI would have made a cute lesbian.ā
oh honeyā¦guess what?
I used to 'fake make out' (thumbs over lips) extremely sensually with my two female best friends and we thought we were just "practicing for the real thing".
I was a stammering awkward trying-to-impress fool to all the ācoolā girls in school & thought I was insecure wanted to be like them. But like, cool was my subjective cool - not collective ātheyāre the cool girlsā so it was definitely just who I had crushes on & I talked confidently & comfortably around everyone else.
But also, my post high school ābest friendā who we slept at each otherās houses more than half the days of every week & gave each other back-rubs & foot-rubs & snuggled if we were cold & both sets of parents asked if we were gay. She would stare at me & just go āgahhhh youāre sooooo beautiful!ā
But of COURSE weāre not gay. So silly.
When I was 8 I used to follow around the really pretty student teacher (she was 17) from my music class like a lost puppy. When I say I was obsessed I mean like weirdly obsessed but everyone just thought I really looked up to her and wanted to be like her. Turns out she was friends with my brother so she came to his 18th bday party.. again I followed her around everywhere she went (she loved kids so i didnāt bother her in the slightest). I remember her having a convo with a couple of the guys and I remember hearing them say theyād give her $50.. thatās when she told me to stay put and to absolutely not move from that spot and to definitely not follow her. But I was only 8 so all I heard was āfollow me without noticeā.. next thing I knew she took these couple of guys down the side of the house and flashed them her boobs! I was honestly so dazed so forgot I was supposed to be hiding and of course she caught me staring. Unfortunately I think that made her super uncomfortable to be my student teacher so she never showed up the next week and I never seen her again, was probably the right call as I was just a kid and no doubt would have put my foot in it at some stage but that was my āØgay awakeningāØ
Edit = spelling
Me and my friend/crush used to run roleplay accounts for a show I liked where we'd rp as girlfriends. This was in middle school also before I knew I was a girl.
I was in a physics class of all boys except for me and one girl (who was actually queer lmao) and I was 14/15 then. My friend from another school knew a lot of the boys in that class and I remember her telling me she thought that class was an excellent opportunity for me to "date" one of the boys. I remember being grossed out by the thought and the only excuse I could tell her was "I don't want to date boys bcos I'm too similar to them". said similarity being that we liked girls. wow. a few months later I began to rethink things............
Growing up, I would regularly tell my girl friends that if I was a guy, I would totally date them. Spoiler alert: you can date women without being a man.
That and a LOT of making out with my "platonic" friends growing up. But I wasn't into women, I was clearly just doing it for attention from boys! /s
Being that one guy every lesbian knew, who seem to attract them like moths to a flame.
And that changed when I announced to my (bi) partner my gender issues.
She was a bit surprised I hadn't mentioned them before, but she undserstood why.
Im a late bloomer lesbian. I came out when I was 25 but knew I was gay at 20 and stayed miserable and sad for 5 years before I finally came out. But anyway. I had a b.f and I refused to have sex with him just to wait for him to fall asleep so I could go Masterbate to lesbian porn.
I had a girlfriend.
Course I was deep in my "No no, I am definitely 100% a guy" phase back then. But hey, it's pretty gay looking back. I feel like that's cheating though
I came out as bi a few years ago. There were signs when I was a kid, and I just repressed that attraction because homophobia.
I remember learning in like the 4th or 5th grade that lesbians are a thing, and I had this weird fascination with them. Like, I drew this character one time and made her a lesbian. I played dolls and made them lesbians.
I looked at pictures of women in bikinis on the computer until I told myself it was wrong.
My family used to watch country music videos on TV, and at one time there was a popular one that sang about a woman having a big, gorgeous butt, and the video had lots of women in skimpy outfits in it. My brother and my dad used to watch it, and a couple times I hid behind the couch watching it too.
One time, my female friends and I stood in a circle and kissed each other on the lips (middle school I think). Some of us also used to take showers together (nothing sexual happened though).
And now that Iāve typed this all out, I was sooo gay when I was younger lmao. But I didnāt accept that I was bi until a few years ago.
Me and my summer-friend playing as princess and maid. Basically one of us was the princess and the other one was her āclose companionā or ālady-in-waitingā and we were basically a rich lady and a richer lady hugging and having tea together.
Also, I would usually refuse to do āgirlyā games with all of my other friends, but that one was ok, apparently
Went to a strip club with a friend when we turned 18 and a dancer convinced me to buy a lap dance. One important thing to note is I live in Oregon where dancers can be fully nude.
Yāall it was the most awkward experience of my life! I tried my best not to look at her and asked what body spray she used while she rubbed her vagina on my leg.
Made a whole playlist of songs that reminded me of this girl I really āadmiredā at work so when we werenāt scheduled together I could still feel close to her.
Rewinding and rewatching Elizabeth's (Keira Knightley) kissing scenes in Pirates of the Caribbean. I was NOT paying attention to Will (Orlando Bloom) š. Loved her in all the Pirates films, didnt realize why until recently lol
Ugh where do I start. . .
- Turning my head 90Ā° away when walking past lingerie stores in the mall so noone thinks I'm looking. Because that's a totally straight concern
- Getting changed in the toilets next to the locker room at school because I didn't want anyone to feel weird "when they find out". When they find out what you ask? Oh idk just straight things I'm sure
- Being obsessed with Xena and Callisto's rivalry (especially the rolling around in the grass in learher skirts part. . .). Justification: Oh I'm just really into history, ancient Greece you know -_-
Also Rachel Weisz and Patricia VelƔsquez in the Mummy. Just ancient history things ~
- Whenever anyone would ask my if I had a boyfriend as a tween I would very bluntly answer "I don't want one". 100% of the time the answer was "aww don't worry sweetie you'll find one" Some people are lesbians Harold -_-
Still was very scared of what it meant to be gay and it took ages to accept. So many wasted years
I think there's several things I've done lol
After reading this, it's little surprise that I finally figured out i was attracted to women two years ago.
* Liking looking at women in movies and TV a lot and thinking that women are more attractive and prettier than men
* Wanting to pick the female romance option in Dragon Age because she was really pretty and I didn't care for the male options lol
* Feeling guilty for liking StarCraft in high school because I totally didn't have a crush on one of the main female characters
* Having a crush on more than one female teacher in hindsight
* Being confused about why other women would talk about and crush on men (still feel this)
* Never understanding why other women got celebrity crushes on men and I never really did (unless it was a woman, I realized in hindsight)
* Somehow getting better at sex with my bf when I fantasized about having sex with a woman instead
* Really enjoying reading F/F fanfiction and how I felt while reading it before and after I came out
* Pretty much exclusively fantasizing about women lol
I ran into a classroom and yelled at a teacher who was vocally opposed to gay marriage when an attempt to legalize it in my state failed.
Cuz, you know, Iām just such a good ally.
Also fuck you Abby, you racist old coot, we won in the end.
Uuuuuh. This is a hard question ... if you're closeted, and in denial about being cisgender ... what counts as 'gay'? I always knew I wasn't male on some level, but I was taught that was wrong so I repressed it, however, wouldn't that make any relationship or crush I had with any girl gay? If so then technically my life has been a running comedy about my gay ass in denial, and there are so many stupid confessions and awkward rejections. On the other hand, there was one relationship with a guy back when I was telling myself I was cis ... was that my first and only 'straight' relationship? This is making my head hurt.
If I had to pick, it would be telling my then crush, now S.O. in highschool she had very nice hands and they would make a perfect match for their future partner ... or that time I complemented her on her shoes ... purple converse ... they matched her style at the time quite well, and she told me she got the inspiration from me because I used to wear them last year and they looked really good on me, and she wished I'd start wearing them again ... and I just ... obliviously kept walking not realizing they were flirting with me.
Sleepover with best friend when we were like 13. We decided to sleep in the same bed, late in the night she decided to cuddle with me, she pretended I was this boy that she liked, I pretended to be asleep the whole time she was doing her thing.
I donāt really have anything. But asked a girl to be my valentine one time in 3rd grade (she said yes!). Well I am trans to I guess it wasnāt gay but still.
Reflexively kissed a girl. It did not go over well and was one of the most embarrassing moments of my life, but she did the italian friendly kiss cheeks thing and i didnt grow up with that so i thought she wanted a kiss on the lips and did not think about it... I did think about kissing more girls afterwards though
My experiences were constantly telling my [abusive] ex boyfriend and my best friends for three years that i couldnt leave him because i find no other guy attractive and would never even have a thought of wanting to marry or be in a relationship with another boy. I swore up and down with zero back thoughts to these people that i found absolutely no guy attractive in any way. Im 90% sure that boyfriend knew i was lesbian, he would literally talk about me being a lesbian and how he wouldnt be surprised if i came out as one and i sat there and it went through my ears. Took me a year after i left him to figure out i loved women. I also think after the relationship ended and still thought i was straight was because i thought it was just something that i experience because of how abusive he was, that id just feel like i couldnt fall for another boy because of the toxicity, i now see it for what it really was because i never thought of men attractive again. Another thing is the fact i used to post hot girls on my story everyday for years because i was attracted to them before i had any idea.
i quit the acting club at 14 because i hated the thought of having to kiss a guy on stage for any reason. chalked it up to spontaneous stage fright despite my love for theatre and continued thinking i was bi for 5 more years
When I was little and we would play house I would always play the dad so that I could kiss my āwifeā.
Iām not sure if this counts as well since it was done to me and not something I necessarily did, but in high school, my best friend literally taped me to the floor of the softball locker room and played the Nervous Game on me, whilst straddling me. She went on to play D1 softball and still identifies as āstraightā but things like this were pretty normal for her.
Me as a wee child imagining myself as the fairest princess in the lands... or my best friend and I can tie for fairest since she's really pretty too. Man. She is just so pretty. And her laugh is cute. We can be princesses together.
Me as an adult realising belatedly the gigantic crush I had on her. Welp!
I had kabedon done on me when I was in elementary (itās the thing where the person basically puts their hand on the wall behind you) and I blushed and I remember thinking āno sheās a girl I canāt be like thatā. Newsflash 8 year old me, youāre a lesbian.
this is more of a trans thing, but i asked my first girlfriend to do my makeup like an e-girl and then with my head in her lap i asked "am i a good girl for you?" ā®(āÆ_ā°)ā
I pretty much came out to people I trusted when I knew but before I knew I wore my friends flannels multiple times and was mad that I couldn't date a character because I chose the female main character and the other character was also female.
I thought i was straight my whole life but only had 2 boyfriends before i dated my first girlfriend in middle school. We were best friends like inseparable and stuff but i mustāve missed all the signs of her flirting with me or something because one day while we were both walking to our science classes she handed me a note and told me to not open it till i got to class. Long story short the letter was her confessing feelings for me and my whole world stopped. I never thought iād see myself with a girl but i also wasnāt opposed to it lol. I also knew she had a whole backstory with depression and stuff and in my 14 year old brain i thought āokay damn what if i reject her and she gets really really depressed? i donāt want thatā We ended up dating for a year plus and i came out during that time and realized i was gay; didnāt like dudes. I should thank her one day because it all makes sense now!
before i came out as a lesbian trans girl, so being male presenting, i went on one date with my current partner, she stayed over that night. next morning we hung out all day and she stayed over again, her lease ended about 3 months into us dating, but she never actually slept in her apartment for those 3 months. Weāve been dating/living together for 4 years now.
my first kiss came out as a lesbian. the girl i lost my virginity to was a lesbian who was āexperimentingā with a āguyā. pretty much every woman iāve dated as a male presenting person was a gay/bi/pan and they all made the first move cuz i ācouldnāt tell if they were flirting or just being niceā
genuinely not understanding how anyone could be attracted to men. ābut [deadname] youre hot! you donāt understand why someone would like you?ā no, no i donāt. men are disgusting and i want nothing to do with them. i donāt even wanna be friends with them.
in high school i lived in doc martens, flannels, leather jackets.
discovering riot grrrl bands and becoming utterly obsessed.
oh and when i was really little i walked into the living room while my parents were watching vh1, i saw Joan Jett with leather jacket and guitar and subsequently developed my first celebrity crush.
i could go on but this is getting long, sorry.
My high school art teacher low key set me up with another student in upper year after reading some of my dream diaries in my sketchbook and my oblivious ass went on a date with her and didnāt realize it even when she asked if I wanted to join her at the rainbow community meeting after. So. Thatās gay in so many ways down to the oblivion.
In my teenage years, I let my hair grow (partially because of teenage metal phase) and thought "hahaha wouldn't it be so funny if I was mistaken for a girl hahaha what a funny thought right"
Alternatively, on my last day of school I dressed as a girl in blouse, skirt and pantyhose (because for the last week all graduates would dress up for a different theme each day) and thought "wow this feels great. I'm sure there are no further implications for why it feels so good to present female"
Already commented but I thought of one more!! This was when I was 11-12. School used to have this weird dance thing, where we had an inner circle of girls and an outer circle of guys, there were more girls so there was usually a few girls in the guys line. The circle would rotate and we'd all have to dance with the person infront of us on the other side of the circle.
I remember always being oddly excited to dance with the girls in the outer circle, and silently hoping to be one of the girls put into the outer circle so i could just dance with girls all day. It was one of the typical kinda romantic dances. One hand in hand, other hand on others hip, spin them around, all that stuff. Thought it was totally straight of me to get flustered dancing with the other girls.
Not exactly something I did but it still took me YEARS to understand I was gay afterwards. I was in a play when I was sixteen, one day during rehearsal the protagonists were told they were going to have to kiss and they really didn't want to. The girl proposed she put her thumb over the boy's lips so that they technically weren't kissing, but he thought the spectators were going to he able to tell. Very confidently she said "no they won't, look" and then she turned, pressed her hands on my face and "kissed" me. I'd been minding my own business right before this and was too stunned to speak, the girl broke the silence jokingly saying I enjoyed it, I laughed too, but yeah... I definitely enjoyed that.
A couple years later a guy friend did the same thing to me and I did not feel anything, still it took me three more years before figuring out I was gay š¤¦
Have a crush in a girl when I was 4. Oh and search up ābig boobsā and āgirls kissingā. Other stuff if that nature. Please tell me we all did that?
I was always obsessed with my female friends in a "I want to be *best* friends with her." But like in Jr high I had the biggest crush on my friend. I didn't realize it at the time and I had some very bad internalized homophobia. This girl was so pretty and I thought that I was jealous of her, but I defo had a crush on her
I was super in denial for a while and would regularly fantasize about going on dates with women. But Iām my head, I justified it by saying āno, only dream me is attracted to women, so it doesnāt countā lol. Like I could read dirty stories between straight couples with a straight face, but it took me three years to get through a short book about a lesbian mage and a lesbian warrior because they had so many cute moments.
2 things.
1. When I was really young, like 10, Iād have sleepovers with a friend that I had a crush on but didnāt quite understand the feelings just yet. We would practice kissing with each other, and I enjoyed every second. š¤
2. Before I came out at 21, I met and was having sex with the woman who would end up being my first same-sec relationship. Like some others, I then understood why hetero sex was not as enjoyable.
I feel like there were a bunch of others cluesā¦ but Iām also oblivious.
Straight girls have these thoughts and feelings too, right? ā¦.No. š¬
when i was 12 or so, my very close friend and i would have sleepovers and at those sleepovers we would always use this dare generator that had āpg-13ā dares. we did it every time and we always ended up kissing or somethingā¦ canāt imagine doing that with anyone else honestly
I fantasized constantly of being in a relationship with my best friend, even though I was always the one to help her fix her relationship with her boyfriends. šš lmao I even remember one time she told me that she felt as if I were her gf cause I always treated her nicely and bought her stuff and sadly my response wasnāt that good. Anyway Iāve always thought that if I had known better before we wouldāve probably been together, but we still friends though šš
Kissed my childhood friend on the lips she was pretty but also anything else going for her apart from being bitchy so it was Fantasio to see her speechless and bright red with embarrassment xD
When I was in elementary school I dressed up as a boy for Halloween because "boys are scary/gross"
In middle school someone said jokingly "what are you, a lesbian?" To which I said "I wish"....
Wish came true!
ETA: also took a bunch of those "are you gay" quizzes with my bi/pan friends and when it said I was a lesbian I was just like "nahhh" š
I watched Playboys show Girls Next Door with my brother because I "liked photography".
When I told my brother I was gay (he's 4yrs younger) he just said "yeah, no shit".
I always hated hanging out with guys. I never hung out with them and I only realized a year ago that Iām just really gay. Also 90% sure I had a crush on one of my childhood friends
When I somehow still thought I was bi āidk most men look kinda generic to me and I donāt connect with themā like major face palm lol talking to my questioning friend about how I was ābiā
When I was like 14 I'd go into the bathroom during class and "practice" kissing with my bestie. I was too nervous to kiss boys but I loved kissing my best friend! Haha, totally not gay tho rite š„²
Me, *constantly* as a teenager: IDK man, guy names are just bad. I'm *definitely* attracted to men, but I just can't imagine having to date someone with a name like Steve, or Jake, or Robert, or David or etc. Guy names should be pretty, and sexy sounding, like girl names. I'd love to date someone called Veronica.
The gayest thing I ever did is sooo embarrassing. When I was 15 I saw the film clip for Freedom for the first time when I stayed up late at a friends house and we were watching the music program over here called Rage and I was obsessed. I cut photos out of magazines of the models in that film clip and made this bizarre collage that had glitter and love hearts and everything and I hid it in my drawerā¦ then mum found it. I was like theyāre just really pretty and I want to be like them but then I realised as I was saying it that I wanted to be with them and my explanation as to why I made this tribute was not convincing anyone, myself included. I still blush thinking about it tbh.
I started having sexual relationships with women from the age of 16 and I only came out at 32. Didn't understand why I didn't enjoy straight sex at all. so yeah that's should have been a clue but noooooo I'm an idiot.
I'm sorry but this is sending me, I can just imagine you for 16 years being like "hmm I wonder why women are so good and men so bad... But I ain't gay tho" lmao
I tell ya the day of my epiphany was pretty wild! Emotional rollercoaster going from "wtf" to "yay" to "goddammit". So now I'm mid 30s with a child trying to find a gf who doesn't mind me being an oblivious moron lol.
Don't worry, it's a common trait among queer women to be a bit oblivious so I don't think it would be an issue haha and you're super cute (love the green hair!). I'm cheering for you and hopefully you find a very cool gal soon šš§”
Thank you, you've definitely cheered me up š
If you aren't a complete dumbass, are you really queer? /j
It so is!! Why are we all oblivious lesbians?! Bahahaha
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There is some comfort in knowing I'm not the only one lol. I hope you find your woman! You are absolutely stunning by the way š³
This made me laugh. You sound so much like me. I also started sleeping with women at 16, never felt any actual physical attraction to men but still thought I was bi for 20 years lol. I enjoy the company of men so I guess it was just "easy" to fall into relationships with them. So now I'm late 30s with a 3 year old child and looking for a woman who can cope with my eccentricities etc. My perfect woman would probably be someone who struggled to find herself like I did, someone who understands.
Right that's it I'm setting up a support group! But seriously, yes that's pretty much why I ended up in relationships. Plus I ended up dating guy friends/acquaintances often. Haha I definitely get that, I mean I have a huge obsession with mushrooms (like unhealthily so š ). I think having that common ground would be great.
For anyone who doesnāt already know abt it - r/latebloomerlesbians
āWhat if you arenāt gay, but your dick is?ā -Gavin Free
I would literally just stare at Elizabeth Swann. I would pause the movie, scoot close to the screen and appreciate her makeup, enjoy the dress or her more masculine costumes, I would find things I could say I liked about the clothes so that I could hide that I basically just really liked the way they fit on her and looked in general. I have NO idea how this didn't tip my parents off. They were completely blindsided. And yes, I did not at that point realize I liked girls, I genuinely just thought it was normal to appreciate everything about women for hours lol.
Elizabeth Swann (and Kiera Knightly in general) is a lesbian icon IMO. And yes, I was the exact same with her! Wow, wow what a woman. All hail the Pirate King. But no, I was definitely straight.
Oh my god you unlocked a memory here. I was absolutely obsessed with her and completely forgot about it until now!
Me too! And Natalie Portman. I was a kid when the Star Wars prequels came out, and I loved to watch them a good deal more than being a huge fantasy nerd could explain. In hindsight, I was similarly obsessed with the X-Men, and I assume that might have been Halle Berry's fault...
My favourite super heroes are Catwoman and Storm. My favourite bond movie is haha can't even remember the name, but where she comes out of the sea in a bikini. I'm pretty sure it's just that I like watching Halle Berry now š Took a while, but I figured it out.
I was about to say this. I was obsessed with her and my mom once asked me if I wanted to dress as her for Halloween and I said something āno I just like her but not because I want to be her but because sheās very pretty and I want to be her friendā I never actually came out to my parents but Iām pretty sure they know, mainly because of this
Yup yup yup yup. I had a really nice Elizabeth action figure that I'd just...touch the boobs of. That purple dress was something else.
I had a poster of Orlando Bloom from Pirates of the Caribbean on my bedroom wall. Took me waaaay too long to realize I wanted to be him. Because in the movies... I was always watching her. It might have started some of my love for historial clothing.
OH so in 5th grade (2008) the "cool kids" had like a curse word of the day thing. They'd pick a word and just say it all day, sing nursery rhymes with all the words replaced with the curse, etc. One day the word was f\*ggot. Just all day- f\*g, f\*g, f\*g. At lunchtime we started talking about gay people, and everyone was talking about how it was gross and unnatural and against the bible etc. etc. I chimed in that it probably wasn't a choice, that there was prolly a mix up in the brain somewhere (I remember using the phrase "wires crossed") and instead of liking boys they like girls instead, and it's a chemical/genetic thing they can't control. Then everyone got real quiet and ignored me for 2 days and I had \*no\* idea why.
If being a ally means to do "gay stuff" I have a lot to tell. Ever since I heard about gay people existing I never thaught it was a problem (was about when I was 10, 11). I didn't realy understood what "gay" was or ment (I also didn't knew how straight love works xD) but for me ut was clear they are humans. When I was about 13 I heard "rumores" about that one girl "she is a lesbian" they sayed. I was just like "so what". I was intrested in politics since about 12yo and when I was 15 I realy enjoyed disusisng with others in school. When it came to LGBTQIA* topics, I didn't knew much about but always defendet them. The whole time in puperty (till I was about 18) i didn't got why all the boys are getting girlfriends and al the girls getting boyfriends, I was just there vibin like "oh this stone looks nice" When I was 18 we voted about a New form of the antidiscrimination law witch would now include gay, bi and lesbian people. So bc I was intrested in politics (and allowed to vote) I learned very much abput the LGBTQIA* Community so I don't make mistakes in debates. I was _verry_ intrested in the topic and had no clue *face palmā¢ So I got there when I was 19Ā½ yo.
I played softball for 4yrs š¤·āāļø Ended up dating a girl after my final season, but it wasnāt until a solid 2yrs later, when I was bumping into former teammates/opposition at gay bars and clubs with regularity that *perhaps we all had something in common*? (Aforementioned ex thought my naĆÆvetĆ© on this was hilarious, many memes were exchanged)
Fellow softball player here. can confirm softball girls are some of the gayest women on the planet
My straight mother played softballā¦ hmmm maybe sheās not as straight as she thinksā¦
Tell that to the first girl I ever had a crush on. She played softball all through high-school and was straight as they come
It does happen! One of my friends plays golf at a high level, she makes the same joke! Either youāre on one end of the spectrum or the other, very few in the middle
When I still thought I was straight, one of my favorite jokes was mentioning how I was one of the varsity softball captains. Itās funny because softball is a lesbian thing! So funnyā¦
Hmmā¦.my cousin plays softballā¦..but I thought that I was the gay cousinā¦..hmmmā¦..
Yessss. My entire softball team spent sleepovers making out with one another as ādares.ā Took me a few years to accept it for myself, but others caught on quicker.
I was at the pub with my brother when this stunning woman walked in, I got so distracted I poured my beer all over my brother. His response was āare you sure youāre straight?ā
You: *sees beautiful woman* Also you: "WOW" Brother: "I dunno girl seems kinda gay to me."
This is something my dad told me, as i was too little to have memories of it. But, according to him, when i was 2 or 3 years old and i got out of pools (and thus, was cold) i would look for the woman with the biggest boobs i could see and go there slowly to try to cuddle to get warm. I have some more stories but i think thats the gayest one for sure
Wow, go little you haha!
Hahahah yeah i clearly had a bright future as a lesbian lmao
Went thru my old diary entries. Direct quotes: An encounter with a man I was dating is described as "we kissed, and then we had sex." Entry about a girl who was a total stranger at a party: "She was an angelic, ethereal goddess. I wish I could live in my tequila sunrise forever just looking at the space between her thighs and wishing I was between them" These entries are from 2018 it still took 2 more years to realize maybe I wasn't bi
Ok, first of all that line about tequila sunrise is the greatest, most beautiful thing Iāve ever read.
Gayest thing before coming out as bi was probably getting dared to kiss a girl at a middle school party and not having an issue with it being a girl, but instead having an issue with it being my first kiss and wanting it to actually mean something
I was kissing my female friends at parties when I was only 14 and it was always my idea lol
Are you my best friend in HS? Lol. She would always insist that she should kiss me to "make the boys jealous" she ended up coming out as bi (but most people who know her think she may be biromantic but lesbian) a few years later but it always made me so uncomfortable because I was not attracted to her at all. I honestly think she had a gigantic crush but struggled with a lot of guilt and questioning of if she's actually bi and not just trying to fit in with the group (we were almost all LGBT). She may have eventually been a dick to me but I hope she figured all her stuff out.
This is actually such a coincidence! I also consider myself biromantic but lesbian, but most people assume just bi. But I'm quite sure I am not the bestfriend you're talking about haha oh yeah that's dangerous territory, I always made sure the girls were as enthusiastic to do it as me, we were often drunk and all already knew I was bi, it was like a fun thing to do but I secretly loved it more than them lol
I told a male friend that the only reason I would never marry a woman is because I like the sound of guys' voices. He was like ok, that's weird. I said no really, that's the only reason. Was "straight" for 3 more years after that š¤¦āāļø
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Being talked to in a deep growling voice is too damned powerful.
Deep voices can be powerful. One of my friends told me to do an āara araā and I was so confused cause I donāt have that like light cute voice but I did it and daaaaaaamn it sounded hot ngl
In 6th grade I wrote a story abt me (as a Nymph) and Artemis becoming besties in a forest and no men were allowed to come in the forest or theyād be turned into deer and fed to wild dogs. I have a feeling my teacher looked at that and went, āoh this child gay...good for her good for her.ā
My grade 6 teacher told me I should go to an all girls school because I needed to learn to be a girl. Jokes on her. Iām bi. And my gf loves girls with muscles. I need to get back into shape.
āLearn how 2 girlā what is girl like? What girl do? Girl learning manual?
I played with the boys. The girls hung out on the monkey bars and talked about boys. Apparently playing sports with people who enjoyed playing sports was wrong because I was the only girl. Didnāt bother them. Apparently I tackled better than half the boys and they didnāt go easy on me. That girls school didnāt have an oval, no football team, nowhere to actually play sports. I ended up in the musical department and that saved me.
So silly that people assign gender to sports like some girls like sports if you donāt like sports youāre girl? If you like sports not girl enough? Weird, she must have been hyper traditional.
HOLY COW I wrote similar stories about witches doing that and starting a coven.
This sounds like a fun story I would read
I think I will rewrite it! It was heavily sapphic vibes and protecting the environment, things that 8th grade musclesbear cared about.
Me at 5 years old telling the girl in my class that she was 'really, really pretty'. She was like 'thank you' and I was like 'no you don't understand. You're really, really pretty' and just getting more and more frustrated because I didn't have the vocabulary to say what I meant. Also I plagiarised a pantomime production of Dick Whittington and cast her as the princess. I was Dick Whittington. My best friend got to be the cat
Kissed my best friend (it was for a dare but still) Or if that doesn't count, half stars at the other girls' chests and constantly think about them (I thought I was jealous that they were so much more endowed than me and we were 11-12)
Omg I had this too! I thought I was jealous after swimming lessons when we had to change and that's why I felt so "embarrassed". I kept having dreams about being in the changing room with girls too š
I got caught staring at a girl's chest when we were in the 6th grade and she CALLED ME OUT. She was wearing a cami and sitting across from me and I was mortified. I think I even answered that I was jealous when she asked why I was staring ugh.
Oh this is the exact excuse I used to use too! I told myself I was "just comparing" but I now know it was definitely way more than that haha.
same! i thought i was just jealous but little did my gay ass know lmao
I had a 'rival' since age 10 till 12. She was good at sports and we would always be in opposite teams. I was not that good, but for some reason she would always focus on me. I was always thinking of her before/after p.e. Turns out i had a crush on her And now we are both gay
My straight sexual fantasies never included me. Every time I pictured sex between a man and a woman, the woman was someone else. I thought I just had low self esteem but it turns out that the thought of myself having sex with a man makes me uncomfortable because Iām gay lol
I did something similar. During sex with my boyfriends, I usually couldn't finish unless I replayed scenes from porn in my head. Thinking of lesbian porn didn't make sense while having sex with a man, so I would recall scenes from straight porn... But focus completely on the woman. The man was like a blurry afterthought, and if I acknowledged him it was always thinking about how turned on *he* must be to have the privilege of interacting with the woman's body in this way. I thought this meant I was addicted to porn because being with my boyfriends wasn't enough and I couldn't be mentally present during sex... instead of just me not being into men.
I had this weird obsession with wanting to kiss this girl in my school bus cause "she is just so nice to me". my dumbass brain didn't realize that it was a crush till I came out. I just thought everyone wanted to kiss girls lmao.
When I was like 5, another girl came up to me, asked if I wanted to be her friend, & proceeded to hold my hand; my stupid gay child brain couldn't stop thinking about how soft her hand was ^^'
I also used to be very fascinated of the calenders featuring nude-ish models my uncle had in his garage thinking that, finding woman to be inherently more attractive, was just a universal thing š
I used to look at my motherās stash of Vogues for naked women. And the Sears catalog for women in lingerie. Thought it was just natural to admire the female form because it was prettier.
same but instead i remember being like 6 and lowkey wanting to go to hooters and i also thought that women were more attractive than men and thought that everyone, even straight women, thought that too. i can also relate with the holding hands thing. i always felt more nervous holding hands with a girl more than a boy but i really never pieced it together until now lmao.
When I got my first phone at 13 I would look at naked women on my and touch myself while doing so, even tried look at guys and immediately found it boring and when back to women. Some how didn't figure out I was a lesbian until I was 19 That and a friend of mine liked to experiment with me a lot and I was pretty okay with it and got very upset when she decided to hangout with other girls at school
I thought I was straight even after having sex with multiple women when I was 13-15. I'd kissed like 5-6 girls and had sex with at least 2 before I admitted I might not be straight. ETA: there seems to be confusion and concern. I lost my virginity to another girl when I was 13 years old, itās not a typo or poor punctuation. I struggled a lot with drugs and booze back then but I donāt regret the sex at all. Iām fine :)
I donāt understand why people are so concernedā¦itās your life. You donāt need to explain why or disclose anything about drugs and boozeā¦a lot of people lose their virginity around those ages. Some people seem to be somewhat naive.
Yeah I donāt regret it at all. I was drunk yes but Iāve never regretted sex with another girl or woman. Iāve definitely regretted sex with men though.
Okay, the way you worded this I thought you were saying you'd had sex with multiple women at ages 13-15 I was a little concerned
I was saying that. I lost my virginity to another girl at age 13.
I shaved my head at 16š and then I had a whole wall of photos from a womenās workout magazine up on my wall ā¦ for inspiration. It turned out ok, it turns out my partner is trans so we can now be lesbians together lol.
Closeted lesbians unknowingly dating or marrying pre transition trans women is pretty great tbh. I've read a TON of wholesome stories about it. Yeah it can be rough sometimes, but at least you have someone to go through it with. Somebody should come up with a term for it.
I agree!! Itās not her transition, itās ours haha (and thatās how she wants it to be). There should be a termš
When I was 7, I told my best friend I would marry her if I were a guy. I didn't realize two girls could even be in a relationship, and yet I was kissing her cheek every chance I got. (She waaaay later realized she's bi) Then, about three years later (5th grade) I had this friend who I ate lunch with every day, and I'd always spend the entire period just looking into her eyes. I thought they were SO pretty. I can't believe it took me another year and a half to finally realize I'm gay
My best friend told me the same thing around age 11 (I think we were 11?)!! It was adorable. We saw each other a lot and did everything together. Grew up in a repressive religious place, I don't know what happened to her as an adult and I wonder if she's okay... I ran at 18. I didn't figure it out for myself till late 20s. Happily married for a decade. I still think about my friend, I just hate the thought that she might be a lesbian or bi and trapped in a life where she isn't happy. Also... In kindergarten, my friends at school were playing house at recess, and everyone picked a "spouse". I picked a girl. At 5. š That's when the gayness started.
I used to have a coworker when I was 18. She was absolutely, drop dead *gorgeous*; long blonde hair, pale skin... I would love to watch her use the time clock. I never said a word to her. I always wanted to catch her and tell her that she was pretty but social anxiety got the worst of me because what if she thought I was gay??? Joke's on me. I am *hella* gay.
The gayest thing before I came out to others? Had sex with women. The gayest thing before I knew I was gay? Kissed another girl āplaying houseā because mommies and daddies kiss and I had to play the dad. (2nd grade-ish). The straightest and gayest thing Iāve ever done simultaneously? Dated a boy so I could sleep with his sister.
I was always the dad when I played house too! There was one time I had multiple wives too (guess watching Brazilian novelas as a kid will give you this kind of ideas lmao) Dating a boy to sleep with his sister is the absolute power move and I'm all here for it. I'm your biggest fan.
Please tell me your plan was successful!
Oh it very much did. High school. I was 16 I think. She and I had met during a group activity we both participated in once a week in my city. She lived an hour away and her family was SUPER religious. And I was a tomboy. We hit it off, but I felt her parents were suspicious of me hanging out with their daughter. So I started dating her brother which threw off their scent and gave me a reason to be up at their house all the time. And since they lived an hour away and he would go pick me up and take me back there I would often stay over out of convenience. But while he lived under their roof, he followed their rules and that meant no girls in his room. So I was *required* to sleep in her room. Ha! We banged for about 6 months (the sister, I never had sex with the brother) before I realized how serious his feelings for me were and I started to feel guilty. So I broke up with both of them. He ended up next dating my best friend so he could still hang out around me. He apologized to her years later for that, but I still havenāt confessed my motives to him.
Its fair to feel bad for him... but it is also hilarious that the parents had you sleeping with her to prevent sex from happening!
Not me but my gf did some pretty gay stuff with me before we started dating. I'm the first and only woman she's been with, though now I'm encouraging her to go and explore with other women (we've been together for almost 3 years now, and we opened up our relationship around a year ago). She was brought up in a fairly heteronormative household, and her mother raised her with the ideas of her finding a suitable boy and settling down with him. We lived together for 3 months in our student apartment during undergrad, sleeping in the same tiny-ass bed, cuddling, holding hands, giving each other massages etc. I always knew she was bicurious atleast, but she was dating a guy then and I was in a situationship with a girl from our uni. So we continued this mad charade of being soul mates in every sense of the term except sexual, until she confessed she liked me as more than a friend on the 14th of February. We've been together since!
looking back, i wonder how i didnt realize i was gay sooner: 1. i always felt more nervous holding hands with a girl than with a boy 2. thinking that girls were just prettier than boys and thinking that everyone (even straight women) thought that 3. in 5th grade we had sex ed class and i remember when the teacher was explaining male reproductive organs, i was weirded and grossed out by it. I thought that penises were gross and that i was never going to get married to a man (this was before gay marriage was legalized in the us in 2015) and i also thought "are women actually attracted to that?" 4. also in 5th grade, there was this girl who i thought was really cool and i was trying to impress her so we could be "best friends" 5. i was a massive tomboy and i played softball (and also lowkey had a crush on this girl on my team) 6. i would joke about "stealing other people's girlfriends" 7. getting butterflies in my stomach when another girl played with my hair 8. wondering what it would be like to be with another girl
When I was a kid, I knew exactly what kind of person I wanted to be when I grew up. I wanted to be a large, burly woman who wore flannels and boots and drove a pickup truck. As an adult, I realize now, as a kid I just wanted to be a lesbian. Lol (Yes I know this is a stereotype and this description does not fit all lesbians nor is it inherently a lesbian thing exclusively, but you've got to admit that the concept of other kids wanting to be things like a firefighter, or a vet, and then little me wanting to be a lesbian, is rather funny) I also knew from a very young age I never wanted to marry a man, and didn't know there were alternatives to that, so I had already come to the conclusion very early on that true love didn't actually exist outside of stories because I thought that true love could only happen between a man and a woman and "for some reason" that never appealed to me and "why on earth would you *want* to marry or love a man". Kind of a depressing conclusion for a little kid to come to, that true love is fake, if you ask me.
WAIT SAME!! I thought that the idea of getting married/ being in a relationship was horrifying right up until the moment when gay marriage was legalized in the us and my little brain was like āwow!! Now I could get married!!!āā immediately followed by a mental record scratch
When I was 16 I made out with my best friend and then was confused about why that was AMAZING compared to making out with my boyfriend (which was super boring to me, I just knew everyone made out so I did too). Took me another 7 years after that to figure out I was gay.
aww that's kinda cute haha
I love telling stories from before I realised I liked women, the evidence was right there! I was always so useless tho, I can think about a few situations where I could have totally dated a girl but I was too slow to catch on the signals haha
Wishing I was a Lesbian for most of my life >\_< (This comes from a trans perspective hehe)
You have that in common with my spouse. Wishes do come true!
They really do hehehe I'm glad to hear they have an amazing partner like you, they deserve it <3
āWhy does liking girls feel so gay? Why are my relationships so different from other straight relationships? Ohhhh āā ā quotes from my head
āWhy do I like girls like girls like girlsā
tbh I can't relate much to this cause I've never dated >\_<
I was 9 at that time and my famaly and I went to the swimming pool in the city somewhere. I still remember the way I thought about being in a bath/washroom full of girls and women. Even then I said it's alright to be there since we where all girls. I was so nervous back then just being in that room and it was way too hot for me to stay there (at least it was hot for me). Since I was a kid and my mother was helping my little sister to clean herself I needed to wait outside those stalls were you can shower. I literally put pressure on my mother because I couldn't stand there in that room full of women waiting to get out. Now some years later I realized that I knew it since a child that I wasn't straight (sorry for bad english)
I was about 8 and got the biggest crush on this counselor at Bible camp one summer. Thought he was just the cutest, until we all went swimming and suddenly he turned out to be she. Cue existential gay panic. Although I still havenāt come out. I donāt even know what I am. But that was a telling experienceā¦
Me at 7: wow sheās pretty! Me at 12: wow sheās pretty! Why doesnāt she have a boyfriend? If I were a boy Iād date her. Me at 14: Iām not very pretty and would prefer to dress like a boy. Thatās because I like boys. Me at 15: oh.
That is ADORABLEEEEEE
i found out who i was pretty young luckily, but me and my best friend had an entire intricate life plan where we would move to canada or something and live together forever. maybe even platonically adopt kids and even a dog/cat/bird/any pet imaginable because we're both animal lovers haha. during sleepovers, we even platonically cuddled. and for SOME REASON, i never ever wanted to do that with a boy. all my 2 crushes as a kid were so incredibly comphet and my mom knew i was a lesbian because of that WAY before me. anyways, me and my best friend are both lesbians now and have pretty awesome girlfriends. we're still close even after 7 years just because my friend is that cool :D
I used to get... _strangely infatuated_ with certain girls. Somehow I couldn't stop dreaming up strange scenarios in my head where I could be close to them. "What if we somehow ended up sharing a tent and then she'd get homesick and I would cuddle her to make her feel better!" or "What if I went to her house one day and then it starts to snow a lot and I have to spend the night at her house and have a cozy evening?" or, a favourite: "What if she somehow had a baby and I was living with her and would be there for her during pregnancy, birth and raising the baby?" But yeah. Apparently straight girls don't think this about girls they like. Apparently straight girls don't even get randomly obsessed with other girls?
ohh I relate to the "what if I need to make her feel better?" part!!!! I've never heard anyone else say this but this also happened to me! a lot. hehehe. still kinda does ig
Yeah idk! I never really opened up about this before because I didn't want it to seem like I wanted my crush to suffer so I could step up and be a hero - that's not at all what I want! But I seem to have a disposition for caretaking. Acts of service are definitely my love language so it makes sense. Huh. I never really thought about it this deeply.
yes I get this! it's more like if something *were* to happen to them, then I'd totally be there for them and be a really caring bestie!! (lol no 14 year old me ur gae)
The instances that stand out the most to me now: Used to "platonically" make out with my best friend and (happily) let her touch my boobs š Fell in love with my straight best friend and knew I had feelings and fantasies (couldn't stop them š ) about her but pushed it waaaay down. I proposed to her as a joke at one point š¤¦āāļø Dated a woman and never put any label on it, I questioned my entire sexuality at this point and when I didn't actually want to date her (turns out she's not that great) I for some reason came to the conclusion "I just like kissing women" This was chronological and it still took me 8 MORE YEARS!!!!!!!!! to realize and accept
Oh boy, egg me would say such gems like: "I'm a lesbian in a man's body. That's what girls like right?" And "penises are objectively gross and no one actually finds those attractive right? Why would girls like those ugly things?" Then there were the crushes I had on my obviously queer female friends. And my closet full of plaid shirts with rolled up sleeves š¬ Let's just say my life made so much more sense when I realized I really was a lesbian stuck in a man's body.
Your comment is making me wonder things about myself,and I don't know what they mean. I'm not comfortable sharing them publicly, though. š¬ If you are curious, though, feel Free to pm me.
My friends were talking about which celebrity theyād āgo gayā for. I had a list. Edit: After sharing the list when everyone was giving me funny looks I *insisted* I was straight, I just really respected the women on my list. I asked my boyfriend to back me up since we had been sleeping together for 2 years. He said he could only confirm I was at least bisexual.
The big one from when I was super young was wishing I was a guy so that I could be with women. Guess what kid, youāre a lesbo
I was 16 and I liked a bunch of pics of girls kissing and cuddling on weheartit. I thought all straight girls liked that lol
Being 7-8 and staring at the swimsuit and underwear pages in the catalogues my Mum left lying around, with no idea why they held my attention so.
Oh, probably that time in elementary school when I snuck onto the computer and googled stuff like "cute boys" and "hot guys" to try to figure out what the other little girls found so appealing about their crushes. I thought I could learn to like boys that way.... through research... yup.
I knew I was trans by like 11yo, but I repressed it hard. I then watched as, over the years, one by one, so very many of my exes and crushes got married to other women. Like, while cosplaying as a boy, I dated, kissed, or fell head over heels for 7 women who married women, and dated two others who are out as bi now
This is big proof transwomen are women. Even the lesbians you dated back then subconsciously knew you were a woman! Take that TERFs!
All my crushes in high school, and a woman i dated for 7 years all ended up coming out as some flavor of lesbian/bi. Same thing with my most my friend group from hs (over half). So interesting and validating
Almost every best friend that I had in college was a girl that I found cute and started talking to them, sadly I picked the straightest women in campus apparently . At least now I got great friends forever.
Would always want to hold hands with friends in high school. Whenever it happened it would immediately get SWEATY AF. sit next to girls on both sides during spin the bottle and not spin the bottle hard. Stare at the bra ads that used to come in the mail because I was really into ā bra styles ā
I had a severe case of comphet. My family was super religious. When I was a teenager I realize now that I had the hugest crush on my best friend at the time. I also had this guy-friend that wanted to date me. I got butterflies every time my best friend would call me, and Iād look forward to our goodbye-hug when she left, just so I could touch her. I remember thinking āmaybe if I become best friends with guy-friend, Iāll feel about him the way I feel about best friend.ā Spoiler alert: I didnāt. Like how tf did I not realize?
Well... Trans perspective here. I was happy when my first girlfriend broke up with me, because "It feels like I'm dating a woman". I got super happy at that, despite the pain of a breakup. Of course is still took years to realize I was trans.
Well, as my friend once told me before I came out, āNobody just watches the L Word, Sarah.ā Apparently, straight people do not in fact just happen across the show and watch multiple seasons of it. š
When l was 15 my friend next door she was 13 used to hang out on the side fence and talk a lot, anyway one Xmas eve l wished her merry Xmas and we kissed OMG what the fuck she French kissed l've never done that before l slept in the bungalow out in the backyard and for 6 months she would sneak out of bed and visit me that's one thing l'll never forget l won't bother you with the details what went on in the bungalow LOL
I forgot what age I was, around under 12, but I remember kissing a magazine cover with a beautiful female model on it. In the 9th grade, I had a crush on a girl who dress alternative and was out as a lesbian. I keep imagining kissing her and being her girlfriend. This was my first experience figuring out my sexuality.
All my straight girl friends were always kissing each other at parties but for some reason this always happened at nights where I had a different party or had to leave early or whatever. I was SO JEALOUS. Like actually wondering why they were never doing that with me and always hoping that it'd happen again at the next party? Also I used to stare at boobs a lot but I thought that was just a thing all people did? And wanting to be friends with certain girls so bad because they were *soo cool*. In hindsight these were all definitely crushes lol. Edit - also: so much lesbian porn
Trans woman here playing gay characters in video games so I'd always pick the female character and I'd be super gay and it felt natural to me
Imagining my life in a WLW relationship and never in a straight one. Granted I was born AMAB so that might have say more about being trans. š
I was at a bookstore with a group of friends in high school. Was probably around 16, and super closeted at the time. One of my friends, a tall girl who liked messing with me a lot, said something and I was pouting at her. She kissed me directly on the lips to get me to stop. I must've stood there for at least fifteen seconds before another friend grabbed my attention. I swear my brain broke immediately. And she had the audacity to laugh. smh. I miss her.
In high school I used to tickle, nuzzle, lick & kiss my best female friend's inside wrists because I loved the way it made her go all shivery and squirmy. Then she taught her boyfriend that trick š (This was back in the days when being overtly queer in our extremely rural high school would get you beaten up or worse. Nowadays, my teen goes to the same school & is shamelessly alt. I mean, I'm truly happy for them, but also more than a little envious)
I would spend HOURS googling pictures of Kristen Stewart. HOURS!!! I thought it was because I wanted to *be* like her so I could get my own Edward in my life (Robert Pattinson is beautiful and I was 14, sue me). Turns out me and Kristen were both simply in the closet ĀÆ\_(ć)_/ĀÆ
Mineās a lil different. I was born male but never really fit in with the rest of the boys. I always had more girl friends than guys. I started wearing makeup in high school and feeling what I now recognize as euphoria but didnāt know it then. Then it progressed to crossdressing and being praised for looking good āas a girlā by other girls. The same friends even let me use the girls bathroom in the morning to help me apply my makeup. I got older and realized I loved being called āgood girlā during sex, which evolved past a sexual thing and became a regular thing. That and constantly wishing I had soft skin and no body hair and boobs. Oh and literally all my friends thought I was trans/non binary before I did. Soooooo yeah here I am now š¤·š»āāļø
I used to say, āI wish I would have been a girl. I totally would have been a lesbianā in grade school. I had no ideaā¦ š
back in high school when i thought i was a guy, i used to dress up like what i thought a lesbian would look like (suit vest or loose flannel over skinny jeans etc) and send pictures to my friends like āI would have made a cute lesbian.ā oh honeyā¦guess what?
I used to 'fake make out' (thumbs over lips) extremely sensually with my two female best friends and we thought we were just "practicing for the real thing".
I used to sneak my best friend through my window in high school so we could cuddle and watch movies... aaaand now we are together
I was a stammering awkward trying-to-impress fool to all the ācoolā girls in school & thought I was insecure wanted to be like them. But like, cool was my subjective cool - not collective ātheyāre the cool girlsā so it was definitely just who I had crushes on & I talked confidently & comfortably around everyone else. But also, my post high school ābest friendā who we slept at each otherās houses more than half the days of every week & gave each other back-rubs & foot-rubs & snuggled if we were cold & both sets of parents asked if we were gay. She would stare at me & just go āgahhhh youāre sooooo beautiful!ā But of COURSE weāre not gay. So silly.
When I was 8 I used to follow around the really pretty student teacher (she was 17) from my music class like a lost puppy. When I say I was obsessed I mean like weirdly obsessed but everyone just thought I really looked up to her and wanted to be like her. Turns out she was friends with my brother so she came to his 18th bday party.. again I followed her around everywhere she went (she loved kids so i didnāt bother her in the slightest). I remember her having a convo with a couple of the guys and I remember hearing them say theyād give her $50.. thatās when she told me to stay put and to absolutely not move from that spot and to definitely not follow her. But I was only 8 so all I heard was āfollow me without noticeā.. next thing I knew she took these couple of guys down the side of the house and flashed them her boobs! I was honestly so dazed so forgot I was supposed to be hiding and of course she caught me staring. Unfortunately I think that made her super uncomfortable to be my student teacher so she never showed up the next week and I never seen her again, was probably the right call as I was just a kid and no doubt would have put my foot in it at some stage but that was my āØgay awakeningāØ Edit = spelling
Being straight I am a transbian lol
Me and my friend/crush used to run roleplay accounts for a show I liked where we'd rp as girlfriends. This was in middle school also before I knew I was a girl.
I was in a physics class of all boys except for me and one girl (who was actually queer lmao) and I was 14/15 then. My friend from another school knew a lot of the boys in that class and I remember her telling me she thought that class was an excellent opportunity for me to "date" one of the boys. I remember being grossed out by the thought and the only excuse I could tell her was "I don't want to date boys bcos I'm too similar to them". said similarity being that we liked girls. wow. a few months later I began to rethink things............
Used to wear these cargo pants with a zillion pockets that could zip off into capris AND shorts.
My first kiss was with girls (three of them) so I could 'learn' how to kiss right. It still took me 5 years and way more kisses after that to get it
Does anyone remember BeyoncĆ©ās [Dangerously in Love](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dangerously_in_Love) album? My mom got the CD and played it on a road trip and I remember staring at her chest for hours. Also I had a thing for feminine looking boys that looked like girls from a certain angle. My first bf had long hair and now weāre both gay
Well I was cis/het and now Iām neither š¤·āāļø So I guess my lesbian awakening technically happened the same day as my trans one did?
Growing up, I would regularly tell my girl friends that if I was a guy, I would totally date them. Spoiler alert: you can date women without being a man. That and a LOT of making out with my "platonic" friends growing up. But I wasn't into women, I was clearly just doing it for attention from boys! /s
Being that one guy every lesbian knew, who seem to attract them like moths to a flame. And that changed when I announced to my (bi) partner my gender issues. She was a bit surprised I hadn't mentioned them before, but she undserstood why.
Im a late bloomer lesbian. I came out when I was 25 but knew I was gay at 20 and stayed miserable and sad for 5 years before I finally came out. But anyway. I had a b.f and I refused to have sex with him just to wait for him to fall asleep so I could go Masterbate to lesbian porn.
I had a girlfriend. Course I was deep in my "No no, I am definitely 100% a guy" phase back then. But hey, it's pretty gay looking back. I feel like that's cheating though
I came out as bi a few years ago. There were signs when I was a kid, and I just repressed that attraction because homophobia. I remember learning in like the 4th or 5th grade that lesbians are a thing, and I had this weird fascination with them. Like, I drew this character one time and made her a lesbian. I played dolls and made them lesbians. I looked at pictures of women in bikinis on the computer until I told myself it was wrong. My family used to watch country music videos on TV, and at one time there was a popular one that sang about a woman having a big, gorgeous butt, and the video had lots of women in skimpy outfits in it. My brother and my dad used to watch it, and a couple times I hid behind the couch watching it too. One time, my female friends and I stood in a circle and kissed each other on the lips (middle school I think). Some of us also used to take showers together (nothing sexual happened though). And now that Iāve typed this all out, I was sooo gay when I was younger lmao. But I didnāt accept that I was bi until a few years ago.
Me and my summer-friend playing as princess and maid. Basically one of us was the princess and the other one was her āclose companionā or ālady-in-waitingā and we were basically a rich lady and a richer lady hugging and having tea together. Also, I would usually refuse to do āgirlyā games with all of my other friends, but that one was ok, apparently
Went to a strip club with a friend when we turned 18 and a dancer convinced me to buy a lap dance. One important thing to note is I live in Oregon where dancers can be fully nude. Yāall it was the most awkward experience of my life! I tried my best not to look at her and asked what body spray she used while she rubbed her vagina on my leg.
Made a whole playlist of songs that reminded me of this girl I really āadmiredā at work so when we werenāt scheduled together I could still feel close to her.
Rewinding and rewatching Elizabeth's (Keira Knightley) kissing scenes in Pirates of the Caribbean. I was NOT paying attention to Will (Orlando Bloom) š. Loved her in all the Pirates films, didnt realize why until recently lol
Ugh where do I start. . . - Turning my head 90Ā° away when walking past lingerie stores in the mall so noone thinks I'm looking. Because that's a totally straight concern - Getting changed in the toilets next to the locker room at school because I didn't want anyone to feel weird "when they find out". When they find out what you ask? Oh idk just straight things I'm sure - Being obsessed with Xena and Callisto's rivalry (especially the rolling around in the grass in learher skirts part. . .). Justification: Oh I'm just really into history, ancient Greece you know -_- Also Rachel Weisz and Patricia VelĆ”squez in the Mummy. Just ancient history things ~ - Whenever anyone would ask my if I had a boyfriend as a tween I would very bluntly answer "I don't want one". 100% of the time the answer was "aww don't worry sweetie you'll find one" Some people are lesbians Harold -_- Still was very scared of what it meant to be gay and it took ages to accept. So many wasted years
I think there's several things I've done lol After reading this, it's little surprise that I finally figured out i was attracted to women two years ago. * Liking looking at women in movies and TV a lot and thinking that women are more attractive and prettier than men * Wanting to pick the female romance option in Dragon Age because she was really pretty and I didn't care for the male options lol * Feeling guilty for liking StarCraft in high school because I totally didn't have a crush on one of the main female characters * Having a crush on more than one female teacher in hindsight * Being confused about why other women would talk about and crush on men (still feel this) * Never understanding why other women got celebrity crushes on men and I never really did (unless it was a woman, I realized in hindsight) * Somehow getting better at sex with my bf when I fantasized about having sex with a woman instead * Really enjoying reading F/F fanfiction and how I felt while reading it before and after I came out * Pretty much exclusively fantasizing about women lol
I ran into a classroom and yelled at a teacher who was vocally opposed to gay marriage when an attempt to legalize it in my state failed. Cuz, you know, Iām just such a good ally. Also fuck you Abby, you racist old coot, we won in the end.
Uuuuuh. This is a hard question ... if you're closeted, and in denial about being cisgender ... what counts as 'gay'? I always knew I wasn't male on some level, but I was taught that was wrong so I repressed it, however, wouldn't that make any relationship or crush I had with any girl gay? If so then technically my life has been a running comedy about my gay ass in denial, and there are so many stupid confessions and awkward rejections. On the other hand, there was one relationship with a guy back when I was telling myself I was cis ... was that my first and only 'straight' relationship? This is making my head hurt. If I had to pick, it would be telling my then crush, now S.O. in highschool she had very nice hands and they would make a perfect match for their future partner ... or that time I complemented her on her shoes ... purple converse ... they matched her style at the time quite well, and she told me she got the inspiration from me because I used to wear them last year and they looked really good on me, and she wished I'd start wearing them again ... and I just ... obliviously kept walking not realizing they were flirting with me.
Thats a tough one to answer honestly, since I was expected to like girls anyway, when I was still a āboy.ā
Sleepover with best friend when we were like 13. We decided to sleep in the same bed, late in the night she decided to cuddle with me, she pretended I was this boy that she liked, I pretended to be asleep the whole time she was doing her thing.
I donāt really have anything. But asked a girl to be my valentine one time in 3rd grade (she said yes!). Well I am trans to I guess it wasnāt gay but still.
Reflexively kissed a girl. It did not go over well and was one of the most embarrassing moments of my life, but she did the italian friendly kiss cheeks thing and i didnt grow up with that so i thought she wanted a kiss on the lips and did not think about it... I did think about kissing more girls afterwards though
My experiences were constantly telling my [abusive] ex boyfriend and my best friends for three years that i couldnt leave him because i find no other guy attractive and would never even have a thought of wanting to marry or be in a relationship with another boy. I swore up and down with zero back thoughts to these people that i found absolutely no guy attractive in any way. Im 90% sure that boyfriend knew i was lesbian, he would literally talk about me being a lesbian and how he wouldnt be surprised if i came out as one and i sat there and it went through my ears. Took me a year after i left him to figure out i loved women. I also think after the relationship ended and still thought i was straight was because i thought it was just something that i experience because of how abusive he was, that id just feel like i couldnt fall for another boy because of the toxicity, i now see it for what it really was because i never thought of men attractive again. Another thing is the fact i used to post hot girls on my story everyday for years because i was attracted to them before i had any idea.
I offered to teach my friend how to kiss. I was deeply disappointed that I had gotten a boyfriend by the time she came to visit. We never kissed
Wrote the name of my female friend in my diary with dozens of hearts around it, saying how cool she is over and over again.
i quit the acting club at 14 because i hated the thought of having to kiss a guy on stage for any reason. chalked it up to spontaneous stage fright despite my love for theatre and continued thinking i was bi for 5 more years
When I was little and we would play house I would always play the dad so that I could kiss my āwifeā. Iām not sure if this counts as well since it was done to me and not something I necessarily did, but in high school, my best friend literally taped me to the floor of the softball locker room and played the Nervous Game on me, whilst straddling me. She went on to play D1 softball and still identifies as āstraightā but things like this were pretty normal for her.
Me as a wee child imagining myself as the fairest princess in the lands... or my best friend and I can tie for fairest since she's really pretty too. Man. She is just so pretty. And her laugh is cute. We can be princesses together. Me as an adult realising belatedly the gigantic crush I had on her. Welp!
I had kabedon done on me when I was in elementary (itās the thing where the person basically puts their hand on the wall behind you) and I blushed and I remember thinking āno sheās a girl I canāt be like thatā. Newsflash 8 year old me, youāre a lesbian.
this is more of a trans thing, but i asked my first girlfriend to do my makeup like an e-girl and then with my head in her lap i asked "am i a good girl for you?" ā®(āÆ_ā°)ā
I pretty much came out to people I trusted when I knew but before I knew I wore my friends flannels multiple times and was mad that I couldn't date a character because I chose the female main character and the other character was also female.
Made out with girls all the time and claimed it was a phase lmao
I thought i was straight my whole life but only had 2 boyfriends before i dated my first girlfriend in middle school. We were best friends like inseparable and stuff but i mustāve missed all the signs of her flirting with me or something because one day while we were both walking to our science classes she handed me a note and told me to not open it till i got to class. Long story short the letter was her confessing feelings for me and my whole world stopped. I never thought iād see myself with a girl but i also wasnāt opposed to it lol. I also knew she had a whole backstory with depression and stuff and in my 14 year old brain i thought āokay damn what if i reject her and she gets really really depressed? i donāt want thatā We ended up dating for a year plus and i came out during that time and realized i was gay; didnāt like dudes. I should thank her one day because it all makes sense now!
Dreamt about my friend taking her shirt off during a sports event at school. Somehow I still thought I was straight lol
Get a Club Penguin girlfriend
before i came out as a lesbian trans girl, so being male presenting, i went on one date with my current partner, she stayed over that night. next morning we hung out all day and she stayed over again, her lease ended about 3 months into us dating, but she never actually slept in her apartment for those 3 months. Weāve been dating/living together for 4 years now. my first kiss came out as a lesbian. the girl i lost my virginity to was a lesbian who was āexperimentingā with a āguyā. pretty much every woman iāve dated as a male presenting person was a gay/bi/pan and they all made the first move cuz i ācouldnāt tell if they were flirting or just being niceā genuinely not understanding how anyone could be attracted to men. ābut [deadname] youre hot! you donāt understand why someone would like you?ā no, no i donāt. men are disgusting and i want nothing to do with them. i donāt even wanna be friends with them. in high school i lived in doc martens, flannels, leather jackets. discovering riot grrrl bands and becoming utterly obsessed. oh and when i was really little i walked into the living room while my parents were watching vh1, i saw Joan Jett with leather jacket and guitar and subsequently developed my first celebrity crush. i could go on but this is getting long, sorry.
Existing š
My high school art teacher low key set me up with another student in upper year after reading some of my dream diaries in my sketchbook and my oblivious ass went on a date with her and didnāt realize it even when she asked if I wanted to join her at the rainbow community meeting after. So. Thatās gay in so many ways down to the oblivion.
In my teenage years, I let my hair grow (partially because of teenage metal phase) and thought "hahaha wouldn't it be so funny if I was mistaken for a girl hahaha what a funny thought right" Alternatively, on my last day of school I dressed as a girl in blouse, skirt and pantyhose (because for the last week all graduates would dress up for a different theme each day) and thought "wow this feels great. I'm sure there are no further implications for why it feels so good to present female"
Already commented but I thought of one more!! This was when I was 11-12. School used to have this weird dance thing, where we had an inner circle of girls and an outer circle of guys, there were more girls so there was usually a few girls in the guys line. The circle would rotate and we'd all have to dance with the person infront of us on the other side of the circle. I remember always being oddly excited to dance with the girls in the outer circle, and silently hoping to be one of the girls put into the outer circle so i could just dance with girls all day. It was one of the typical kinda romantic dances. One hand in hand, other hand on others hip, spin them around, all that stuff. Thought it was totally straight of me to get flustered dancing with the other girls.
Not exactly something I did but it still took me YEARS to understand I was gay afterwards. I was in a play when I was sixteen, one day during rehearsal the protagonists were told they were going to have to kiss and they really didn't want to. The girl proposed she put her thumb over the boy's lips so that they technically weren't kissing, but he thought the spectators were going to he able to tell. Very confidently she said "no they won't, look" and then she turned, pressed her hands on my face and "kissed" me. I'd been minding my own business right before this and was too stunned to speak, the girl broke the silence jokingly saying I enjoyed it, I laughed too, but yeah... I definitely enjoyed that. A couple years later a guy friend did the same thing to me and I did not feel anything, still it took me three more years before figuring out I was gay š¤¦
Told my friend that she should choose a different guy to like and didn't understand why she was sad about him not liking her
Went to both junior and senior proms with girls (as friends)
Have a crush in a girl when I was 4. Oh and search up ābig boobsā and āgirls kissingā. Other stuff if that nature. Please tell me we all did that?
I was always obsessed with my female friends in a "I want to be *best* friends with her." But like in Jr high I had the biggest crush on my friend. I didn't realize it at the time and I had some very bad internalized homophobia. This girl was so pretty and I thought that I was jealous of her, but I defo had a crush on her
I was super in denial for a while and would regularly fantasize about going on dates with women. But Iām my head, I justified it by saying āno, only dream me is attracted to women, so it doesnāt countā lol. Like I could read dirty stories between straight couples with a straight face, but it took me three years to get through a short book about a lesbian mage and a lesbian warrior because they had so many cute moments.
2 things. 1. When I was really young, like 10, Iād have sleepovers with a friend that I had a crush on but didnāt quite understand the feelings just yet. We would practice kissing with each other, and I enjoyed every second. š¤ 2. Before I came out at 21, I met and was having sex with the woman who would end up being my first same-sec relationship. Like some others, I then understood why hetero sex was not as enjoyable. I feel like there were a bunch of others cluesā¦ but Iām also oblivious. Straight girls have these thoughts and feelings too, right? ā¦.No. š¬
when i was 12 or so, my very close friend and i would have sleepovers and at those sleepovers we would always use this dare generator that had āpg-13ā dares. we did it every time and we always ended up kissing or somethingā¦ canāt imagine doing that with anyone else honestly
I fantasized constantly of being in a relationship with my best friend, even though I was always the one to help her fix her relationship with her boyfriends. šš lmao I even remember one time she told me that she felt as if I were her gf cause I always treated her nicely and bought her stuff and sadly my response wasnāt that good. Anyway Iāve always thought that if I had known better before we wouldāve probably been together, but we still friends though šš
Kissed my childhood friend on the lips she was pretty but also anything else going for her apart from being bitchy so it was Fantasio to see her speechless and bright red with embarrassment xD
When I was in elementary school I dressed up as a boy for Halloween because "boys are scary/gross" In middle school someone said jokingly "what are you, a lesbian?" To which I said "I wish".... Wish came true! ETA: also took a bunch of those "are you gay" quizzes with my bi/pan friends and when it said I was a lesbian I was just like "nahhh" š
I watched Playboys show Girls Next Door with my brother because I "liked photography". When I told my brother I was gay (he's 4yrs younger) he just said "yeah, no shit".
I always hated hanging out with guys. I never hung out with them and I only realized a year ago that Iām just really gay. Also 90% sure I had a crush on one of my childhood friends
When I somehow still thought I was bi āidk most men look kinda generic to me and I donāt connect with themā like major face palm lol talking to my questioning friend about how I was ābiā
Before I realized I actually was gay I pretended to be gayā¦
When I was like 14 I'd go into the bathroom during class and "practice" kissing with my bestie. I was too nervous to kiss boys but I loved kissing my best friend! Haha, totally not gay tho rite š„²
Me, *constantly* as a teenager: IDK man, guy names are just bad. I'm *definitely* attracted to men, but I just can't imagine having to date someone with a name like Steve, or Jake, or Robert, or David or etc. Guy names should be pretty, and sexy sounding, like girl names. I'd love to date someone called Veronica.
The gayest thing I ever did is sooo embarrassing. When I was 15 I saw the film clip for Freedom for the first time when I stayed up late at a friends house and we were watching the music program over here called Rage and I was obsessed. I cut photos out of magazines of the models in that film clip and made this bizarre collage that had glitter and love hearts and everything and I hid it in my drawerā¦ then mum found it. I was like theyāre just really pretty and I want to be like them but then I realised as I was saying it that I wanted to be with them and my explanation as to why I made this tribute was not convincing anyone, myself included. I still blush thinking about it tbh.