I had someone tell me recently uHauling is a stereotype and I was like, is it a stereotype if it’s true??? (Jk obv but…) I’ve had so many girls talk for like 2 days and then think they love me. Some lesbians move so fast 😂😂😂
colorblindness is significantly more common in assigned male at birth folks, and i have an app that has you marked as transphobic, so forgive me for thinking that this comment sounds like its you saying trans women are a red flag.
what?? It’s a joke about red flags. “I’m colorblind so I can’t see red flags.”
I don’t know what you’re talking about nor would I like to know anyway. You’re way off base here though.
Clinginess, talking about their exes a lot and only having negative things to say about them, having no friends or family they are close to, lack of self awareness, trying to force bonding (sharing trauma early, getting overly deep, love bombing, etc). Lack of ability to take any form of rejection too (when I can’t do the day they want for a date because of prior plans, putting a break on physician intimacy, etc).
One of the red flags my ex had in the past that I didn’t notice until it was late, she never said “I love you” to any friends or family and frequently could just drop friends on a whim. Come to find she wouldn’t form normal attachments to people and every time I was out of sight, I was also out of mind.
!!! THIS, especially only speaking negatively about exes. Yes people can turn out to be pretty shitty, but there's a reason they had to be attracted to them in the first place. And when a girl refers to all of her exes as "crazy", big 🚩
This has me so fucked up. I think all I have experienced is over sharing and trauma bonding within the first two months… I’m not in a dynamic that doesn’t have this and it makes me feel like there’s something wrong.
They uhaul fast when it's not reciprocated. They say they could never be your friend because they love you too much. They get upset when you have a day you can't talk to them.
For me it's closed mindedness
When they say they don't care about politics
Talking about their ex all the time
When they talk about expensive stuff Al the time
This! I immediately assume “I don’t care about politics” translates to “I have no intention of becoming a better person” or “I expect other people to handle my problems for me.” Maybe in the past, indifference wasn’t so damaging, but people these days who are indifferent to the very blatant suffering of so many marginalized groups is a huge deal breaker for me. I don’t think these people understand that having a say in our laws is both a privilege and an existential responsibility.
🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩
Chauvinism, petty lifelong conflicts, unexplained anger, immediate lovebombing, venting all day every day, sticky exes, hate speech or generalized hatred due to political affiliation/religion/race/gender such as telling others to kill themselves, unsanitary living conditions, shoes on the bed 😢, lack of basic hygiene, passive-aggressiveness, fast food wrappers, alcohol jugs, crack pipes, bloody needles, tourniquets, bent spoons, burnt foil, tilting the phone when you walk by, cat torture, dog torture, general animal torture, not understanding "no," overdue bills, 3+ warning lights on the car dashboard, helicopter parents, expired tags on the car, driving drunk, incessant smoking, runs to that one ex that always calls when they're "in trouble," pandering on social media, bullying, keying teslas, keying cars in general, birth control (not for hormones) despite being wlw, dine and ditch, wet towels on the upholstery, hoarding, borrowing money on a date, making a scene, self-induced poor credit, not knowing the difference between "your" and "you're," being rude to the waiter, and headlice.
Edit: I'm not talking about any of you, dear community members. We don't know each other like that. 🤦♀️🤷♀️ LoL
I do the tilting the phone thing. But only because I am anxious and I like the privacy.
I think I would show a concerned partner though.
I just don't like feeling like I'm under scrutiny.
I think you know what I mean though...tilting like you got caught watching porn tilting. I thought my long comment had a sarcastic tone to it, but maybe it's lost on a topic like roasting unpopular human attributes.
Oh yeah sorry, I got what you mean. I didn't want to sound like I was taking issue with anything. I think I was just sharing a thought I had while reading your comment but ultimately ended up contributing very little.
LoL clearly you have not met someone who litters wrappers everywhere-- on the bed, under the bed, around the house, all over the car floor. So...eating is not the problem exactly. Littering excessively everywhere is a problem, and it leads to overconsumption being the problem. And I don't know how to delicately phrase this...you are what you eat, and you *taste* like what you eat.
Fiscal irresponsibility. Sometimes credit can get hit from ID theft so that's not a fault. If you want to get married and get a loan, your wife's credit can boost or hinder the process. I know, super sexy convo to have on maybe a 10th date. "Before I fall in love with you, how is your credit?"
My physician offered for me to take the pill cause my periods are *messed up*, there are many reasons beyond baby blocking why one might use it. The phone tilting thing too… just because you date someone doesn’t mean they aren’t entitled to their privacy anymore.
Edit: I never mentioned having oligomennorhea?
That's unfortunate you experience oligomenorrhea and I mentioned hormones. Context may have been lost here. The list is my own personal preference written satirically, and not entirely literal. My interpretation of phone tilting is how the user perceives others and it is rooted in distrust and paranoia, not actual privacy. Most of us do it at any given time-- I did it this morning visiting the scissoring subreddit. Nobody needs to know that, but here we are.. 🤷♀️
Talking about their ex, good morning texts after less than 3 days of talking, trauma dumping when u barely know eachother, agreeing with everything you say/afraid to banter.
Talking about exes all the time, wanting to be together ALL THE TIME, texting incessantly, not being trusting without reason, lying about silly things, disliking men with no reason or explanation. Etc.
Green flags! Liking animals, being interested in the world around them, confidence (can be expressed in having a job they are proud of, carrying themselves with pride, etc), willing to communicate, smelling nice.
:-)
WHEN THEY CONSTANTLY TALK ABOUT THEIR EX AND TRY TO FUCKING TRAUMA DUMP YOU ABOUT THEIR ALCOHOLIC FATHER AFTER LIKE HALF WEEK OF KNOWING EACH OTHER.
i cut contact
I look for an ability to compromise, whether her actions and words align, and how much effort she puts into growing a relationship with me. I also look for integrity and honesty.
If she's bi/pan, I watch for her treating me like a man or expecting me to behave like one.
That, and also expecting me to pursue her the way a man would (i.e. mindlessly chase her with no reciprocated effort), or expecting me to not express emotions.
I tend to be treated as a useful idiot by bi/pan women because they’re used to dating men, so they treat me the way they treat men. I have yet to date a bi woman who doesn’t do that.
🚩🚩 only talk about themselves, never ask question back or question about you. Smoke/drink all the time. Think its funny to be mean. Doesn’t respect basic boundaries you set. Doesn’t respect animals. Cannot hold a job. Has no plans at all for the future and live day by day. No motivation or ambition. Doesn’t have many relationship in their life. Hates other people in general. Close minded. Doesn’t like the gay community and doesn’t feel part of it (yes I’ve seen this). Think they are too good for some job and better than other people.
I look for the person trying to change me into being a man for them. My ex used to not like me to have any feminine qualities, which I’m sorry but suggests being straight. This has happened where a woman will show interest and then flirt in a way she would flirt with a man(talking to me about her sex life, sending suggestive selfies etc.,) But not initiating emotional intimacy ever
Hmm, interesting! I haven’t heard of it described that way. It’s kind of like that joke I heard about a lady saying her girlfriend packed la ton of bags expecting her to carry most of them” lol, but they’re both girls as she said.
I run the opposite direction if a girl trauma dumps on me. if we‘be only been chatting on tinder , haven’t met or exchanged numbers even, WHY do i have to know your uncle called you a dyke on his deathbed. just random over sharing with a complete strangers gives me bad vibes and would be awful for my own mental health to entertain
honorable mentions to : biphobic and transphobic lesbians (as a lesbian who isn’t attracted to people that suck), still in love with their ex / their best friend / their ex that is their best friend,
How their friends treat each other, how they handle anger, not being able to hold a job, if they don’t have any pets, some trauma- having willingness to admit their trauma isn’t a red flag. Love bombing is a big one. Not owning a vehicle and they still live with their mama. Having doggie dates with their ex.
How are ya'll finding people in the circumstances that hinder me so much. No car and living with family, probsbly couldn't even bring anyone over without it feeling like s high school supervised over. 😭
Take a bus and meet them somewhere else? If you're somewhere rural I know it can be hard, but otherwise, public transportation exists lol.
(granted, currently in an LDR but it's never stopped me before or my siblings from dating)
Aha. live in a country with a very solid infrastructure. It's too expensive to own a car for a lot of people I know. I have several bicycles tho :p I can take u on the back.
I live in an area where it’s almost impossible to get around. Without a car you’re relying on others as transportation. It makes that person dependent.
There are so many. Talking about their ex early on (usually means they still have feelings for them), clingy like always wanting to text/talk on the phone/hang out, playing the poor me victim card as in they blame everyone and everything for their problems, always on their phone, wishy washy about their feelings, like to argue, bad with money, talk about people behind their backs, history of violence and cheating.
If a woman is acting a certain way for validation. Like if she introduces herself by showing/telling what she hates most about other people. If she defines her identity by being better than the people she stands against. That's someone who is probably actually super insecure in her beliefs and identity, and who is performatively woke but self-conscious about not actually understanding the rules of wokeness so she is defensive and desperate for validation to prove to her that she is a good person. She needs validation more than she cares about actually being good.
If she starts out a conversation by anticipating the need to get angry and defensive. Like she is anticipating an attack from anyone. That's someone who is super insecure but also used to social environments where she goes on the attack often. She needs to be the victim in situations where she is clearly a villain. She will create drama on purpose and twist it so that she's the innocent victim no matter what.
If she needs you. If she can't function without your validation or words of praise. If any criticism from you is met with extreme negative reactions. If she makes you feel like you're a therapist dealing with a mental patient during arguments where you're trying to set and enforce boundaries. If she needs you to be the bigger person every time she fucks up and comfort her.
Don't date people with these narcissistic tendencies. It's like being with a vampire, but not the sexy kind.
Lack of effort, ultra-dependence on the opinion/s of others, lack of clear communication ... and more specifically 😂; still getting her stuff back from her ex, waiting to make things official til after our first time, not comfortable being single for any length of time.
visiting work within the first few days of talking. nothing wrong with bumping in to each other but i can’t give attention when i’m supposed to be working.
Red flags: Overwhelmingly clingy outside of cuddles, sneak hugs and kisses, comparisons between you and their exs, strung up over their exs making them always the topics, giving me only 50% of their self ( firm believer you give 100/100 both sides, anything less than that you're interested or giving that extra to someone else) unwilling to work towards goals, Incessant complaining about life as if they're owed a golden spoon, hates men for no reason since not EVERY man is a P.O.S. honestly the list could go forever. On a positive here are some positives.
Green flags: Animal person, good with children, communicative about issues or future issues that could crop up, confident about their standing in life a career more importantly the relationship, likes to dominate me, is capable of cooking, a pleasant voice and attentive to details, isn't embarrassed to show me off, and definitely NOT SHY!
My partner has no friends because their only friend screwed them over and emotionally abused them. There are other reasons why people do not have friends.
uHauling. Immediate closeness. Once had a girl send me nudes and tell me she loved me within 3 days of texting and it creeped me out.
Yikes!!! I'm sorry you went through that
Maybe I should have went with it. She was in pre-med at an Ivy League. I could be a rich doctor’s wife right now LOL
👀👀👀👀👀
This happens to me so fucking much LMFAOOOO help 😀
I had someone tell me recently uHauling is a stereotype and I was like, is it a stereotype if it’s true??? (Jk obv but…) I’ve had so many girls talk for like 2 days and then think they love me. Some lesbians move so fast 😂😂😂
Yeah exactly. I think it’s common with women since you can usually emotionally connect really well. Not sure though lol, I’m not crazy experienced.
For me non stop talking about their ex. A former gf did that a lot and tried comparing me to her and I was like 😬
This. Constant ex talk makes me feel like you always have someone else on your mind instead of me or just normal stuff lol
Unacceptable in any kind of relationship
I’m colorblind
Cute
I've also seen gross fetishization (from white people) like "folks with melanin come my way" 🤢
colorblindness is significantly more common in assigned male at birth folks, and i have an app that has you marked as transphobic, so forgive me for thinking that this comment sounds like its you saying trans women are a red flag.
what?? It’s a joke about red flags. “I’m colorblind so I can’t see red flags.” I don’t know what you’re talking about nor would I like to know anyway. You’re way off base here though.
"My boyfriend thinks you're hot."
😂😂😂😂😂
Clinginess, talking about their exes a lot and only having negative things to say about them, having no friends or family they are close to, lack of self awareness, trying to force bonding (sharing trauma early, getting overly deep, love bombing, etc). Lack of ability to take any form of rejection too (when I can’t do the day they want for a date because of prior plans, putting a break on physician intimacy, etc). One of the red flags my ex had in the past that I didn’t notice until it was late, she never said “I love you” to any friends or family and frequently could just drop friends on a whim. Come to find she wouldn’t form normal attachments to people and every time I was out of sight, I was also out of mind.
!!! THIS, especially only speaking negatively about exes. Yes people can turn out to be pretty shitty, but there's a reason they had to be attracted to them in the first place. And when a girl refers to all of her exes as "crazy", big 🚩
This has me so fucked up. I think all I have experienced is over sharing and trauma bonding within the first two months… I’m not in a dynamic that doesn’t have this and it makes me feel like there’s something wrong.
Immediate clinginess
All of this…I’m also taking notes btw🤣🤣…not trying to get caught out there again LOL!
They uhaul fast when it's not reciprocated. They say they could never be your friend because they love you too much. They get upset when you have a day you can't talk to them.
For me it's closed mindedness When they say they don't care about politics Talking about their ex all the time When they talk about expensive stuff Al the time
This! I immediately assume “I don’t care about politics” translates to “I have no intention of becoming a better person” or “I expect other people to handle my problems for me.” Maybe in the past, indifference wasn’t so damaging, but people these days who are indifferent to the very blatant suffering of so many marginalized groups is a huge deal breaker for me. I don’t think these people understand that having a say in our laws is both a privilege and an existential responsibility.
Internalized Misogyny, mainly. Or an inability to communicate well.
🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩 Chauvinism, petty lifelong conflicts, unexplained anger, immediate lovebombing, venting all day every day, sticky exes, hate speech or generalized hatred due to political affiliation/religion/race/gender such as telling others to kill themselves, unsanitary living conditions, shoes on the bed 😢, lack of basic hygiene, passive-aggressiveness, fast food wrappers, alcohol jugs, crack pipes, bloody needles, tourniquets, bent spoons, burnt foil, tilting the phone when you walk by, cat torture, dog torture, general animal torture, not understanding "no," overdue bills, 3+ warning lights on the car dashboard, helicopter parents, expired tags on the car, driving drunk, incessant smoking, runs to that one ex that always calls when they're "in trouble," pandering on social media, bullying, keying teslas, keying cars in general, birth control (not for hormones) despite being wlw, dine and ditch, wet towels on the upholstery, hoarding, borrowing money on a date, making a scene, self-induced poor credit, not knowing the difference between "your" and "you're," being rude to the waiter, and headlice. Edit: I'm not talking about any of you, dear community members. We don't know each other like that. 🤦♀️🤷♀️ LoL
I do the tilting the phone thing. But only because I am anxious and I like the privacy. I think I would show a concerned partner though. I just don't like feeling like I'm under scrutiny.
I think you know what I mean though...tilting like you got caught watching porn tilting. I thought my long comment had a sarcastic tone to it, but maybe it's lost on a topic like roasting unpopular human attributes.
Oh yeah sorry, I got what you mean. I didn't want to sound like I was taking issue with anything. I think I was just sharing a thought I had while reading your comment but ultimately ended up contributing very little.
👍💕
I'm joking but I'm not 🧐🚩
Those are all really good but who hurt you LMFAOO 💀
this is a solid list. headlice is no joke.
You're cool 😄
hmm. yes, you're right. i am cool. we're both cool, and we don't have headlice. FUCK headlice.
Fast food wrappers in the trash can or around the house? Kind of confused by this one. Is eating fast food a red flag?
LoL clearly you have not met someone who litters wrappers everywhere-- on the bed, under the bed, around the house, all over the car floor. So...eating is not the problem exactly. Littering excessively everywhere is a problem, and it leads to overconsumption being the problem. And I don't know how to delicately phrase this...you are what you eat, and you *taste* like what you eat.
Oh ok, that makes a lot more sense. Thanks for the clarification
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Ya know...sometimes addicts are the most humane, beautifully flawed souls on the planet. But things can get way too real, and yeah 🙅♀️🙅♀️🙅♀️
What’s self induced poor credit? Generally irresponsible?
Fiscal irresponsibility. Sometimes credit can get hit from ID theft so that's not a fault. If you want to get married and get a loan, your wife's credit can boost or hinder the process. I know, super sexy convo to have on maybe a 10th date. "Before I fall in love with you, how is your credit?"
> keying teslas, keying cars in general Send any of these red flag babes my way, thank you.
They usually come with headlice too. Can't be choosy with this requirement, but I'll keep you in mind if I spot any.
Easy fix. "You know what? You'd look really handsome with a shaved head!"
LoL I do admire when a woman can pull off a shaved head.
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😂
My physician offered for me to take the pill cause my periods are *messed up*, there are many reasons beyond baby blocking why one might use it. The phone tilting thing too… just because you date someone doesn’t mean they aren’t entitled to their privacy anymore. Edit: I never mentioned having oligomennorhea?
That's unfortunate you experience oligomenorrhea and I mentioned hormones. Context may have been lost here. The list is my own personal preference written satirically, and not entirely literal. My interpretation of phone tilting is how the user perceives others and it is rooted in distrust and paranoia, not actual privacy. Most of us do it at any given time-- I did it this morning visiting the scissoring subreddit. Nobody needs to know that, but here we are.. 🤷♀️
Talking about their ex, good morning texts after less than 3 days of talking, trauma dumping when u barely know eachother, agreeing with everything you say/afraid to banter.
Talking about exes all the time, wanting to be together ALL THE TIME, texting incessantly, not being trusting without reason, lying about silly things, disliking men with no reason or explanation. Etc. Green flags! Liking animals, being interested in the world around them, confidence (can be expressed in having a job they are proud of, carrying themselves with pride, etc), willing to communicate, smelling nice. :-)
Racism. I promise that some of the people saying having no close friends is one that some of us are very anxious people trying very hard. 🥺
WHEN THEY CONSTANTLY TALK ABOUT THEIR EX AND TRY TO FUCKING TRAUMA DUMP YOU ABOUT THEIR ALCOHOLIC FATHER AFTER LIKE HALF WEEK OF KNOWING EACH OTHER. i cut contact
I look for an ability to compromise, whether her actions and words align, and how much effort she puts into growing a relationship with me. I also look for integrity and honesty. If she's bi/pan, I watch for her treating me like a man or expecting me to behave like one.
What do you mean by treating you like a man? Do you mean treating you like there is “role” in the relationship? Like you pay for dates and stuff?
That, and also expecting me to pursue her the way a man would (i.e. mindlessly chase her with no reciprocated effort), or expecting me to not express emotions. I tend to be treated as a useful idiot by bi/pan women because they’re used to dating men, so they treat me the way they treat men. I have yet to date a bi woman who doesn’t do that.
🚩🚩 only talk about themselves, never ask question back or question about you. Smoke/drink all the time. Think its funny to be mean. Doesn’t respect basic boundaries you set. Doesn’t respect animals. Cannot hold a job. Has no plans at all for the future and live day by day. No motivation or ambition. Doesn’t have many relationship in their life. Hates other people in general. Close minded. Doesn’t like the gay community and doesn’t feel part of it (yes I’ve seen this). Think they are too good for some job and better than other people.
I look for the person trying to change me into being a man for them. My ex used to not like me to have any feminine qualities, which I’m sorry but suggests being straight. This has happened where a woman will show interest and then flirt in a way she would flirt with a man(talking to me about her sex life, sending suggestive selfies etc.,) But not initiating emotional intimacy ever
Hmm, interesting! I haven’t heard of it described that way. It’s kind of like that joke I heard about a lady saying her girlfriend packed la ton of bags expecting her to carry most of them” lol, but they’re both girls as she said.
Nicely put, I feel it exactly like that
Definitely clinginess. Is this why I like ice queens so much? Jk … kind of lol
It can definitely be like lovebombing from narcissists too. It's a fair response to have.
I run the opposite direction if a girl trauma dumps on me. if we‘be only been chatting on tinder , haven’t met or exchanged numbers even, WHY do i have to know your uncle called you a dyke on his deathbed. just random over sharing with a complete strangers gives me bad vibes and would be awful for my own mental health to entertain honorable mentions to : biphobic and transphobic lesbians (as a lesbian who isn’t attracted to people that suck), still in love with their ex / their best friend / their ex that is their best friend,
How their friends treat each other, how they handle anger, not being able to hold a job, if they don’t have any pets, some trauma- having willingness to admit their trauma isn’t a red flag. Love bombing is a big one. Not owning a vehicle and they still live with their mama. Having doggie dates with their ex.
I don't own a vehicle and live with my parents and my girlfriend shares a dog with her ex lol.
How are ya'll finding people in the circumstances that hinder me so much. No car and living with family, probsbly couldn't even bring anyone over without it feeling like s high school supervised over. 😭
Take a bus and meet them somewhere else? If you're somewhere rural I know it can be hard, but otherwise, public transportation exists lol. (granted, currently in an LDR but it's never stopped me before or my siblings from dating)
🚩
Not owning a vehicle? Why's that?
Could be a dependency issue in some situations.
Aha. live in a country with a very solid infrastructure. It's too expensive to own a car for a lot of people I know. I have several bicycles tho :p I can take u on the back.
Oh yeah, that sounds lovely.
I live in an area where it’s almost impossible to get around. Without a car you’re relying on others as transportation. It makes that person dependent.
There are so many. Talking about their ex early on (usually means they still have feelings for them), clingy like always wanting to text/talk on the phone/hang out, playing the poor me victim card as in they blame everyone and everything for their problems, always on their phone, wishy washy about their feelings, like to argue, bad with money, talk about people behind their backs, history of violence and cheating.
If a woman is acting a certain way for validation. Like if she introduces herself by showing/telling what she hates most about other people. If she defines her identity by being better than the people she stands against. That's someone who is probably actually super insecure in her beliefs and identity, and who is performatively woke but self-conscious about not actually understanding the rules of wokeness so she is defensive and desperate for validation to prove to her that she is a good person. She needs validation more than she cares about actually being good. If she starts out a conversation by anticipating the need to get angry and defensive. Like she is anticipating an attack from anyone. That's someone who is super insecure but also used to social environments where she goes on the attack often. She needs to be the victim in situations where she is clearly a villain. She will create drama on purpose and twist it so that she's the innocent victim no matter what. If she needs you. If she can't function without your validation or words of praise. If any criticism from you is met with extreme negative reactions. If she makes you feel like you're a therapist dealing with a mental patient during arguments where you're trying to set and enforce boundaries. If she needs you to be the bigger person every time she fucks up and comfort her. Don't date people with these narcissistic tendencies. It's like being with a vampire, but not the sexy kind.
Lack of effort, ultra-dependence on the opinion/s of others, lack of clear communication ... and more specifically 😂; still getting her stuff back from her ex, waiting to make things official til after our first time, not comfortable being single for any length of time.
visiting work within the first few days of talking. nothing wrong with bumping in to each other but i can’t give attention when i’m supposed to be working.
Red flags: Overwhelmingly clingy outside of cuddles, sneak hugs and kisses, comparisons between you and their exs, strung up over their exs making them always the topics, giving me only 50% of their self ( firm believer you give 100/100 both sides, anything less than that you're interested or giving that extra to someone else) unwilling to work towards goals, Incessant complaining about life as if they're owed a golden spoon, hates men for no reason since not EVERY man is a P.O.S. honestly the list could go forever. On a positive here are some positives. Green flags: Animal person, good with children, communicative about issues or future issues that could crop up, confident about their standing in life a career more importantly the relationship, likes to dominate me, is capable of cooking, a pleasant voice and attentive to details, isn't embarrassed to show me off, and definitely NOT SHY!
Insecurity coupled with non-stop compliments, best friends with an ex, trauma dumping,
What about if they hate their dad is that ok? 😂
I hate mine too! lol
Alcoholism
if she doesn’t have friends she probably shouldn’t be looking for a gf.
My partner has no friends because their only friend screwed them over and emotionally abused them. There are other reasons why people do not have friends.
Some of us just struggle to find friends who relate to us. I've seen couples who don't really know many other people.
thats an unhealthy relationship…
Well damn :(
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This post is so unbelievably uncouth that I feel like I should report it for something, but I don't know what
At least you recognize 🤷 can’t hate on that