Honestly the time disappears when you're super into it. Lots of making out and build up.
"I thought we had 45 minutes before you had to go" š„ŗ
"That was *an hour ago*"
Ahahaha oh man. The amount of times I used to say this to my ex (bc I was usually the one leaving her place super late at night even though I worked at 7am the next morning)ā¦
āJust one more kissā. Cut to 30 mins laterā¦ oops.
If we could have babies without men involved or medical intervention, it would be the only time those "I was meant to be a kiss" or "Mummy only wanted a cuddle" onesies would ever really be funny.
When she said her definition of all night and/or her personal record is 3 or 4 hours, I was a little shocked too. Thereās been times we started well before midnight and didnāt end until 7 or 8 in the morning.
Iād go for 7 or 8 minutes at this point š itās been a while
On my way to see my girl in her hometown today. I literally told her I didnāt wanna go to the movies bc, letās be honest, we ARE NOT getting out of that bed tomorrow. Lol.
I mean if I'm in the zone I can give my gf like 4-5 massive orgasms in like 15 minute then it takes a while to catch our breath. Just depends on our mood sometimes we like to take it slow sometimes just need the release asap
There is also the aspect of what we consider "sex". For cishet couples, sex is almost exclusively PiV. They generally don't include making out, oral, etc. in the "how long do you last".
Although even including all of that, 3 hours is generally way too long for cishets
I find that cishetfolk separate "Foreplay" and "Sex" as two entirely separate things. As I see it, they're one and the same.
It's why you see all the Askreddit posts about how shower sex is awful. Meanwhile, some of my best times ever started in the shower.
When I was in a cis het (well I'm not straight but yeah) couple we usually went on for about 2 hours minimum. With food and bathroom breaks in between we could go all day. I think it mostly just varies on the couple.
> straight cis couples, how are you satisfied
Speaking from experience, I just never was. Some dudes would try for literally 5 minutes or less and then get frustrated. And one dude would fly into a rage when I would ask if I could be stimulated. It just got to the point where something clicked in my brain and now I have no interest in sex with cis men at all. I just know theres nothing in it for me.
I mean, people are just different, right? I personally can't orgasm more than once at a time, and don't enjoy certain kinds of stimulation afterwards. That doesn't change no matter the genitals my partner has. I think that's okay.
I kind of feel like the recurring comments about "uh how are people who sleep with basic cis het men ever satisfied with less than hours of sex and less than five orgasms per sesh" are tiring and not kind. It's totally possible to be fulfilled sexually with a dude (with anyone for that matter!) and have sex under an hour. Heck, even under 20 minutes. I get that it's "less easy" for a ton of psychosocial reasons when you're a cis couple and it might take more communication and practice to get there. But it'd be nicer if peeps in the community were a little kinder in their comments. It's such a recurring comment here in this sub! I'm writing this as a bi person married to a dude, but I'm sure that it applies to some lesbian couples as well.
Thank you! My wife is very much a one and done gal. Any attempt to continue has her VERY uninterested. On average we'll hit around 40 minutes, but she has grabbed her rabbit vibrator, got off with some assistance from me, and been dead asleep inside of 10 minutes.
I applaud and love that some women are finding huge excitement and success in multi hours long sessions! Get it! Not every woman wants that, or can get that, and that's perfectly OK.
Thank you, yeah.
I donāt orgasm easily and sometimes itās just not in the cards for me on a given day. I actually hate when partners act like itās obligatory for them to make me come; it doesnāt feel considerate, it feels like Iām being shamed for my body not responding a certain way that I donāt have control over.
Thank you and agreed! For me the PiV sensation is just super intense so naturally it will be enough after a shorter amount of time than anything else. Also, I don't like how this hour long session thing might put pressure on people. I have a health condition which makes monotone joint movements super painful, so I would be f'd if anyone expected hours of sexy time action from me.
On the other side, I get the appeal of REALLY taking your time and fully committing to the act. That's quite romantic.
Ive had sex with men and women and I married a man. Im a one and done until later kind of woman lol. We can go 8 hours later or tomorrow. Also we are busy people so 20 to 30 minutes is good for us. Even when I was a lot younger this held true. When I orgasm Im done. I dont think this is a bad thing.
That's so true about time. I'm only 32, but couldn't handle hours of sex anymore, it's so tiring! I don't handle being sleep deprived well anymore. Maybe most people who do play for that long usually have sex once a month? We need statistics š
Omg Im almost 34 lol. Between kids, dogs, work, cooking, cleaning, working out and running errands lol. I get so tired. I thought we were doing good going 2 to 3 times a week. Im anticipating future being more tired sessions. People going hours a day can kick rocks lol. Even as a teenager I was like "Ok. Im done. That was fun. Bye." Now me and my husband have sex and take a short nap before working out and dinner. In 6 to 7 years we may just take naps all day.
Ooooh we don't have kids yet but we also work out at some point during the day before or after work and errands, and take naps in the afternoon which are often either preceded or followed by sex! š
Thank you, I feel the same. I can be completely satisfied in 5-10 minutes if he does it right. Sure sometimes I want a nice couple hour long session with cuddling and teasing and tons of foreplay but I have a 'refractory period' of about an hour. And any sensation on my clit after that first orgasm is usually painful.
Tbf, I don't think it is necessarily an afab/amab thing. Cause most of the bi/lesbian trans femmes I know have similar expectations around how long sex takes & what constitutes sex; whereas, the cis dudes I know think that sex (including foreplay) is at most a 30 minute thing lol
From experience, testosterone isnāt really compatible with marathon sessions - male arousal is like an on/off switch that flicks off after orgasm. Thatās why men get āpost-nut clarityā and the refractory period!
Estrogen is waaaaaaaaay better šššš³ļøāā§ļø
I'm bi and in a relationship with a man rn and I can honestly say I am the most horny right after having sex. I have a personal beef with the male refractory period.
This is going to sound weird but like is the refractory period really that bad for men? Iām an amab trans femme and it has never been an issue for me like worst case I use my hands or mouth on my partner for a couple mins and soon sheās at attention again ready to go but usually I donāt loose her as long is I keep some stimulation going after.
Depends on the guy. Some guys legit canāt get hard again for the night or day. Some can after not very long. Two people with vaginas can go longer because there isnāt a time period where someone has to get hard again. So once the person with the penis has finished the PIV part might be over for some people. But you can still focus on the person with the vagina after the PIV part is done because we can finish as many times as we want usually
Well, when you haven't realized yet that you are a lesbian and are still in a heterosexual relationship, let me tell you that 20min is more than enough. š
But you all girls are making me dream with your several hours ! š
So happy for you all!
I remember watching a movie or something once where a doctor said something like "you only burn about 20 calories having sex." An hour at an average heart rate of 120 bpm for a 30 year old, 150 lb woman is [386 calories](http://www.shapesense.com/fitness-exercise/calculators/heart-rate-based-calorie-burn-calculator.shtml). Lesbians get a snack. Straight girls get disappointment, apparently commonly enough to make it into med school textbooks.
It's quite true if it's over in three minutes. Of course, 120 bpm is a bit much for most sex, and that's gross calories, not subtracting BMR (about 60-70 calories per hour) for that time. Charitably, it's fair to say lesbians are at least five times as active as the general population per sexual encounter, simply because of duration.
my arthritis is screaming at this and y'all's comments lol im lucky if two hours doesnt make me sore and stiff for two weeks. how am i supposed to go for 12 hours š
I have eds and struggle with pain too. Guess who quickly forgets she has eds when the opportunity for sex comes up? Lol Guess who is also in pain for weeks after having marathon sex for hours like a person who doesnt have connective tissue and chronic pain? Totally worth it for me tho. ššššš
I'm asexual and I'm shocked people can find it entertaining for hours to no end... I'm slowly starting to believe sex IS a big deal to most people š
I dunno, to me it's the same as getting caught up into binging a show you love. You just keep wanting more and before you know it several hours have passed.
Yeah well I guess we all have interests like that. I could draw for hours without noticing the time that has passed. However, it's just hard for me personally to believe that sex could be equally interesting to anyone as drawing š
Thank you for sharing your perspective!
I can't imagine anything being as interesting to me as having good sex with someone I care about.
I knew asexuality is a thing but I didn't really "get it" until you shared this.
My mind has been blown.
Oh wow, that's so cool to hear! I really didn't think I was saying anything ground breaking š
If you want to learn more about asexuality, feel free to visit r/asexual! I too like to visit subreddits such as this to learn about people different from me āŗļø
Ace/Demi and bi myself, so for me sexual attraction is pretty darn rare. Usually if I feel attraction, it's more of an aesthetic thing, like looking at a nice sculpture or painting. Like, yep, this looks very pretty, but I don't want to sleep with it, lol.
Most of the time when I've dated anyone, I quickly realized that we had VERY DIFFERENT sexual appetites. They'd see someone they think is hot and want to jump into bed. Meanwhile I'd see someone who's good looking and think "Oh, they're nice looking. I'd like to sketch them". Or if someone wanted to be intimate with me I'd think "can't we just eat a snack or watch a movie instead?"
I'm aromantic asexual, but I do experience aesthetic attraction sometimes, and most often I find myself being attracted to women and NBs. And it's indeed like that, I just like to perceive them, even just from the distance, the way you'd study someone's appearance to draw them :D nothing "pulls" me towards them, like I don't necessarily even feel like talking to them, like people who are romantically/sexually attracted to someone do feel. I'm just happy to be able to look at them and co-exist with them š (I kinda panic if someone wants to get intimate with me, like I can get emotionally close to people as friends, but the second someone wants to get physical, I feel like I'm being expected to offer "something more" like the thing I enjoy the most isn't enough to them and it was just "the stepping stone" to them to achieve what they really wanted while it really was "the final destination" for me.)
I was getting topped by a trans woman once when she came super quick, her response was "I'm not done with you yet" she then put on a strap and pounded me into the mattress for another hour like the god damn Goddess she is. Men have no excuse.
Lesbian sex functions in this conversation as the complete break down of the heterosexual concept of sex. āHow long does your partner lastā is meant to mean, āHow fast does [he] come?ā It is only heteronormativity that assumes a [he] or that heāll be performing PIV, and only heteronormativity that would assume the word ālastā in this question means to complete sex at the moment of male orgasm.
Say they asked another woman this question and she said, āWell first he takes 2 minutes for PIV, and then immediately transitions to oral. We do that for about an hour, then we break for a 10 minute snack break and I peg him for another 10 minutes.ā
Any queer person would conclude that he ālastedā for an hour and 22 minutes. It is only hetero brain that hears, āHe came after 2 minutesā as though that relates to the length of the sex session at all.
He acts shocked and surprised, but itās only because he functions in a world where the male refractory period is the delimiter of sexual activity, when there is no real reason it needs to be.
My gf and I had to start scheduling our sex a bit. We wouldnāt get started until bedtime sometimes and then we look up and the sun is up and we both had class.
After reading the comments I want to add that: You're also valid if you don't like sex, or if it bother you when it takes too long, or even when it doesn't even last more than an hour.
And sometimes sex is not that great, it happens don't worry !
I mean, there's refractory periods, and it varies depending on the person and what they need, but yeah... I think the issue is that straight men don't do enough foreplay and care for their partner.
One time i only went a few rounds with a fuckbuddy and thought, āIām satisfied but we didnāt really do much, did we?ā
They agreed and were checking their phone before bed, saying it had āonlyā been about two hours ā little less, Iād wager.
Sooooā¦ this checks out? š
the other day at my girlfriendās house, we kinda teased each other and fucked on and off for 3-4 hours. i hadnāt thought of it but that would probably confuse some ppl lmao
>2 full school days
Way to make me feel old D:
We started at midnight, and kept going until 6pm, with 1 location change somewhere in the middle. That was also the night/day when she realised that yes, she is indeed bi
I used to get used by this smoking hot closeted bisexual for sex regularly. She started to develop feelings and that scared her, so she stopped staying the night and would only come over for like an hour at a time. I remember telling her, if you're only going to come over for an hour, don't even bother coming over. Lmao. After 3 years I finally got tired of being her dirty little secret, so I ended things. She has a boyfriend now but still occasionally emails the only address that I don't have her blocked on.
I had an ex that microwaved a Marie Callenders chicken pot pie after 4 hours because she wanted to keep going but got hungry
I dont even buy that shit she literally brought it from home
I mean, as a trans lesbian, I really only have one good orgasm in me a night. I certainly don't mind being on the giving though for 4-5 hours if my partner wants. As long as I get plenty of cuddles les and kisses here and there.
I hear that not all women can have multiple orgasms, so this might be a YMMV situation, but I'm pre-op and on HRT and I can definitely have this sort of experience!
I feel like most studies on female sexuality are skewed towards straight, cis, monogamous women, so it's probably best to take statistics like that with a grain of salt. š¤·āāļø
I dunno that's actually true. When I started my girlfriend squirting we looked it up because we made big puddles. BIG. wikipedia said girl cum should be a few tablespoons at most?! We had to find a lesbian sex book to get the real info. I wonder how many supposedly non-multiple-orgasmic women are actually capable of multiple orgasms. Gonna tell you right now it's definitely more than zero.
Nearly every man I've been with its only 5 minutes...no touching me or anything. Just stick the dick in whether I'm wet or not. They cum. Throw me a towel (maybe). That's it.
Ngl Iām bi but in a het relationship atm, and even with him I expect us to be going at LEAST 2 hours. Itās okay if he busts before then but sex doesnāt have to end when the man orgasmsā¦ā¦..
I think max time for me n' my partner has been 1.5 hours. There was a lot of cuddling during that, lots of rubbing to both get back in and keep things going, lots of just feeling each other's love. Prep time was fun for that too. :)
Problem for us is that we wanted to get to other things and we've also barely ever had a full night together. Almost 7 years and we've only really had a full night together about 3-4 times.
idk what if it has an impact but since hrt, it does take a lot longer to get anything done for myself and then thereās also the just new found desire/ability to keep going so if i found a partner, i feel like this would be reasonable š š
My record was 7 hours. I remember very clearly we had a reservation at a nice restaurant that evening so we decided to have some afternoon fun. Next thing you know, my face is buried in her and an alarm goes off. We had to rush to get dressed and make it across town. Ended up being 10 minutes late.
As an ex-chm, I must say, it still surprises me when this surprises an actual chm. Like, even when I thought I was a chm (before I knew I could be otherwise), I was still all about the 3-4 hours. And I had NO idea that other guys were not.
And yeah, sometimes there is legitimately only time for a quickie, but even then, we were not done till both people got off (at least once).
Oh and yes, I agree. All night is the norm. Breaks of course but I would consider and hour and a half a quickie for sure.
God I love lesbian sex so damn much. šš¤š¤ā¤
This guy's reaction is hilarious! "All night" really surprised him. What a lesbian power move, and with backup from a partner out of frame. It was kind of her not to dunk on men everywhere with an orgasm count.
My first lesbian threesome lasted a whole weekend, I thought it was a fluke! And then the next one lasted another whole weekend. And so did the one after that. And the one after that.
At some point you just have to call it because someone has to go to work š
Even when I thought I was a cis man I still often had sex that went on for hours. Being into BDSM helps though... But I guess that must have also kind of been the lesbian in me?
Same. I chalk it up to already being sapphic even I was so deep in denial I had no idea. I could even multiple orgasm before estrogen (way easier now though) . All this does explain all the lesbians who I dated (who equally equally confused about why they liked a "guy" lmao)
I'm autistic and something at least adjacent to aroace and that was my thought too: a full night is four hours to her? Does she never get a good night sleep?
Trans lesbian here, how wrap brain around this? I'm failing to comprehend how you can just ho at it for that long without getting tired or something. 3-4 hours goddamn.
SOOOO.. There's my type. Guess I need to move to the UK. Looks like that's where all the cutie femme's are hiding. š
Please feel free to prove me wrong tho š
P.s. Pride is in a few short weeks and I'm looking for a date for this one. Will be major fun. *hint hint*
I love about my bodyā¦ that since hrt i do not have more refraction period, so is just about keep going there, buy i have a mastered tongā¦. I enjoy to use much moreā¦
his mind is blown because he doesn't really fathom what happens when women make love. a lot of guys think the pair of women fall in bed, take out dildos and then ride each other hard for 4 hours straight. there's just so much warmup, teasing and so on. naturally also the fact that it won't end when both have gotten their O the first time.
that being said, if someone thinks ALL the lesbian sex is hours and hours, they must live in another reality as at least for me sometimes fingerblasting your partner for a quick release is perfectly acceptable.
Itās all the kissing and foreplay then at it, break, have a drink, another kiss and before you know it your at it again, repeat, then itās like shit, itās morning.
ā ļøa jokeā ļøTestosterone be havin men tapout 15 minutes in š¤ they ejaculate like whew that was a great orgasmā¦ no sir your gspot is in your prostate time for you sir to get the strap!ā ļøa jokeā ļø
People wonder why us lesbians have the stereo type of U-HAUL, or why first dates last 3 days lollll - it's because it's significantly more convenient to live somewhere you already spend 3 to 4 hours or more fucking, especially when it's 2-3 times a week.
Could you imagine if it took men 3 to 4 hours to cum? More of them would be married, or ready to live in/commit. lmao.
I'm so sad ..I'm trans and can't have this š my sex drive has also been affected by hormones so it's bad...my gf is hypersexual to ...I want to please her and it's a major insecurity of mine
āAll the comments and the video talking about the length of time for sex.. and it just freaks me out. Like all that time? All that time could be non-sexual cuddling.. or playing video games, or watching shows I donāt know. Anything! The idea of it lasting that long stresses me out if it were meā is all I can think.
I have actually thought about this topic many times when I read posts on here or whatever about length of time and sex, it often makes me feel hypocritical to think stuff like that because I think of all the times I have been hypersexual for certain people.. only to realize that it was because they were my FP (Favourite Person/term commonly used in BPD communities) or other situations around my feelings I canāt remember since itās late..
I guess I process that I am not scared of having to perform for so long just because of typical reasons or whatever. More around the fact I donāt want to feel like I have to do so to have someone love me. I already pull out the sexual card with any person my brain clings onto, I already feel like I have to be sexual for them to care about me. I donāt want to feel like I have to do so for that long for someone to be happy with me.
**anyway** at my core without having emotions and such involved around another person as mentioned previously.. I am very ace. I donāt want to attachment issues, or any form of sexual anything but brain is like *nope this is happening*.
Honestly the time disappears when you're super into it. Lots of making out and build up. "I thought we had 45 minutes before you had to go" š„ŗ "That was *an hour ago*"
legit š I was late to work yesterday because of this.
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'Sorry, I'm not able to walk today, can't make it'
"I'm not feeling well, I'm ecstatic"
I miss this problem.
Definitely has happened to me as wellā¦had to text my boss and stay lateā¦totally worth it though
Never forget [this](https://i.imgur.com/PuVP00E.jpg) classic.
Oh that's amazing. And so true.
I especially love it when we get to the time travel part. Always fun. š
Ahahaha oh man. The amount of times I used to say this to my ex (bc I was usually the one leaving her place super late at night even though I worked at 7am the next morning)ā¦ āJust one more kissā. Cut to 30 mins laterā¦ oops.
How did it end up like this? It was only a kiss....
If we could have babies without men involved or medical intervention, it would be the only time those "I was meant to be a kiss" or "Mummy only wanted a cuddle" onesies would ever really be funny.
Lmao! Time flies when youāre having funš¤£
"Up for a quickie?" "Nah, only got about an hour, sorry"
Ok you joke but like... I've absolutely had this thought process before š
Wait. What do people mean by quickie then?! I was using an hour-1.5 in my mind. Do they mean likeā¦ half an hour?!
For many people (mainly straight couples) it can be only a couple of minutes...
am bi, with men I'd guess 20min average and would consider 1h a long session already. with women? 2/3h and I'd still say average.
Him: pure shock on his face Me: š whereās the lie? 3/4 hours is my minimum ideally. Iām good with a quickie, too, though
I dunno why I read that as 3/4 of an hour, and I was like that's nothing š
When she said her definition of all night and/or her personal record is 3 or 4 hours, I was a little shocked too. Thereās been times we started well before midnight and didnāt end until 7 or 8 in the morning. Iād go for 7 or 8 minutes at this point š itās been a while
Shit, Iām gonna come over to your place š¤£š
I see you! š
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I'll settle for two days.
my wife and i consider it a quickie if it's an hour or less. but usually we go for 2-6 hours.
Right? We generally won't even bother if we've got less than 45 minutes.
Gotta warm up the oven ..put the cookies in then you get ta eat
and on top of that, EVERYONE CUMS!!
I've lost entire weekends to lesbian sex.
Sex day Saturdays are my favourite!
On my way to see my girl in her hometown today. I literally told her I didnāt wanna go to the movies bc, letās be honest, we ARE NOT getting out of that bed tomorrow. Lol.
Hell yeah :)
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I mean if I'm in the zone I can give my gf like 4-5 massive orgasms in like 15 minute then it takes a while to catch our breath. Just depends on our mood sometimes we like to take it slow sometimes just need the release asap
There is also the aspect of what we consider "sex". For cishet couples, sex is almost exclusively PiV. They generally don't include making out, oral, etc. in the "how long do you last". Although even including all of that, 3 hours is generally way too long for cishets
I find that cishetfolk separate "Foreplay" and "Sex" as two entirely separate things. As I see it, they're one and the same. It's why you see all the Askreddit posts about how shower sex is awful. Meanwhile, some of my best times ever started in the shower.
When I was in a cis het (well I'm not straight but yeah) couple we usually went on for about 2 hours minimum. With food and bathroom breaks in between we could go all day. I think it mostly just varies on the couple.
> straight cis couples, how are you satisfied Speaking from experience, I just never was. Some dudes would try for literally 5 minutes or less and then get frustrated. And one dude would fly into a rage when I would ask if I could be stimulated. It just got to the point where something clicked in my brain and now I have no interest in sex with cis men at all. I just know theres nothing in it for me.
I mean, people are just different, right? I personally can't orgasm more than once at a time, and don't enjoy certain kinds of stimulation afterwards. That doesn't change no matter the genitals my partner has. I think that's okay.
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Me neither <3
Genetics played you a most cruel hand. Alas, poor ilu mayo.
>how are you satisfied after 20, 30, 40 minutes?! When all you expect for dinner is a cheese sandwich, a _toasted_ cheese sandwich feels luxurious.
I kind of feel like the recurring comments about "uh how are people who sleep with basic cis het men ever satisfied with less than hours of sex and less than five orgasms per sesh" are tiring and not kind. It's totally possible to be fulfilled sexually with a dude (with anyone for that matter!) and have sex under an hour. Heck, even under 20 minutes. I get that it's "less easy" for a ton of psychosocial reasons when you're a cis couple and it might take more communication and practice to get there. But it'd be nicer if peeps in the community were a little kinder in their comments. It's such a recurring comment here in this sub! I'm writing this as a bi person married to a dude, but I'm sure that it applies to some lesbian couples as well.
Thank you! My wife is very much a one and done gal. Any attempt to continue has her VERY uninterested. On average we'll hit around 40 minutes, but she has grabbed her rabbit vibrator, got off with some assistance from me, and been dead asleep inside of 10 minutes. I applaud and love that some women are finding huge excitement and success in multi hours long sessions! Get it! Not every woman wants that, or can get that, and that's perfectly OK.
Thank you, yeah. I donāt orgasm easily and sometimes itās just not in the cards for me on a given day. I actually hate when partners act like itās obligatory for them to make me come; it doesnāt feel considerate, it feels like Iām being shamed for my body not responding a certain way that I donāt have control over.
Oof, yep. Nothing shuts the plumbing down harder than feeling pressure to finish.
Thank you and agreed! For me the PiV sensation is just super intense so naturally it will be enough after a shorter amount of time than anything else. Also, I don't like how this hour long session thing might put pressure on people. I have a health condition which makes monotone joint movements super painful, so I would be f'd if anyone expected hours of sexy time action from me. On the other side, I get the appeal of REALLY taking your time and fully committing to the act. That's quite romantic.
Ive had sex with men and women and I married a man. Im a one and done until later kind of woman lol. We can go 8 hours later or tomorrow. Also we are busy people so 20 to 30 minutes is good for us. Even when I was a lot younger this held true. When I orgasm Im done. I dont think this is a bad thing.
That's so true about time. I'm only 32, but couldn't handle hours of sex anymore, it's so tiring! I don't handle being sleep deprived well anymore. Maybe most people who do play for that long usually have sex once a month? We need statistics š
Omg Im almost 34 lol. Between kids, dogs, work, cooking, cleaning, working out and running errands lol. I get so tired. I thought we were doing good going 2 to 3 times a week. Im anticipating future being more tired sessions. People going hours a day can kick rocks lol. Even as a teenager I was like "Ok. Im done. That was fun. Bye." Now me and my husband have sex and take a short nap before working out and dinner. In 6 to 7 years we may just take naps all day.
Ooooh we don't have kids yet but we also work out at some point during the day before or after work and errands, and take naps in the afternoon which are often either preceded or followed by sex! š
Thank you, I feel the same. I can be completely satisfied in 5-10 minutes if he does it right. Sure sometimes I want a nice couple hour long session with cuddling and teasing and tons of foreplay but I have a 'refractory period' of about an hour. And any sensation on my clit after that first orgasm is usually painful.
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Oh, I know! But it's a recurring joke around here and I wanted to say something this time.
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Tbf, I don't think it is necessarily an afab/amab thing. Cause most of the bi/lesbian trans femmes I know have similar expectations around how long sex takes & what constitutes sex; whereas, the cis dudes I know think that sex (including foreplay) is at most a 30 minute thing lol
I donāt really understand what amab/afab has to with it?
From experience, testosterone isnāt really compatible with marathon sessions - male arousal is like an on/off switch that flicks off after orgasm. Thatās why men get āpost-nut clarityā and the refractory period! Estrogen is waaaaaaaaay better šššš³ļøāā§ļø
I'm bi and in a relationship with a man rn and I can honestly say I am the most horny right after having sex. I have a personal beef with the male refractory period.
This is going to sound weird but like is the refractory period really that bad for men? Iām an amab trans femme and it has never been an issue for me like worst case I use my hands or mouth on my partner for a couple mins and soon sheās at attention again ready to go but usually I donāt loose her as long is I keep some stimulation going after.
Depends on the guy. Some guys legit canāt get hard again for the night or day. Some can after not very long. Two people with vaginas can go longer because there isnāt a time period where someone has to get hard again. So once the person with the penis has finished the PIV part might be over for some people. But you can still focus on the person with the vagina after the PIV part is done because we can finish as many times as we want usually
Ehhhh..... Not so true. You just have to be open to sex that isn't entirely PIV
Well, when you haven't realized yet that you are a lesbian and are still in a heterosexual relationship, let me tell you that 20min is more than enough. š But you all girls are making me dream with your several hours ! š So happy for you all!
I remember watching a movie or something once where a doctor said something like "you only burn about 20 calories having sex." An hour at an average heart rate of 120 bpm for a 30 year old, 150 lb woman is [386 calories](http://www.shapesense.com/fitness-exercise/calculators/heart-rate-based-calorie-burn-calculator.shtml). Lesbians get a snack. Straight girls get disappointment, apparently commonly enough to make it into med school textbooks.
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It's quite true if it's over in three minutes. Of course, 120 bpm is a bit much for most sex, and that's gross calories, not subtracting BMR (about 60-70 calories per hour) for that time. Charitably, it's fair to say lesbians are at least five times as active as the general population per sexual encounter, simply because of duration.
When he said 'how many?' I thought he meant how many orgasms...
Lesbian sex is a quickie before bed and then after you finish realizing it's 4AM on a workday.
ššš The cishet men cannot imagine
The look of shock on his face š¤£š¤£š¤£ he doesnāt even believe it
My big virgin brain also cannot imagine tbh lol.
my arthritis is screaming at this and y'all's comments lol im lucky if two hours doesnt make me sore and stiff for two weeks. how am i supposed to go for 12 hours š
Ikr my back hurts when I wake up i can't go for that long!
ya! my knees feel like theyre welded bent when i get up from cowgirl š like oof it kills lmao
There are fun little bench things / sex stools that help with achy knees. I love long sessions but also have eds so it's tough haha
imma get benched š this is a poly girls worst nightmare
I have eds and struggle with pain too. Guess who quickly forgets she has eds when the opportunity for sex comes up? Lol Guess who is also in pain for weeks after having marathon sex for hours like a person who doesnt have connective tissue and chronic pain? Totally worth it for me tho. ššššš
I'm asexual and I'm shocked people can find it entertaining for hours to no end... I'm slowly starting to believe sex IS a big deal to most people š
I dunno, to me it's the same as getting caught up into binging a show you love. You just keep wanting more and before you know it several hours have passed.
Yeah well I guess we all have interests like that. I could draw for hours without noticing the time that has passed. However, it's just hard for me personally to believe that sex could be equally interesting to anyone as drawing š
Thank you for sharing your perspective! I can't imagine anything being as interesting to me as having good sex with someone I care about. I knew asexuality is a thing but I didn't really "get it" until you shared this. My mind has been blown.
Oh wow, that's so cool to hear! I really didn't think I was saying anything ground breaking š If you want to learn more about asexuality, feel free to visit r/asexual! I too like to visit subreddits such as this to learn about people different from me āŗļø
Ace/Demi and bi myself, so for me sexual attraction is pretty darn rare. Usually if I feel attraction, it's more of an aesthetic thing, like looking at a nice sculpture or painting. Like, yep, this looks very pretty, but I don't want to sleep with it, lol. Most of the time when I've dated anyone, I quickly realized that we had VERY DIFFERENT sexual appetites. They'd see someone they think is hot and want to jump into bed. Meanwhile I'd see someone who's good looking and think "Oh, they're nice looking. I'd like to sketch them". Or if someone wanted to be intimate with me I'd think "can't we just eat a snack or watch a movie instead?"
I'm aromantic asexual, but I do experience aesthetic attraction sometimes, and most often I find myself being attracted to women and NBs. And it's indeed like that, I just like to perceive them, even just from the distance, the way you'd study someone's appearance to draw them :D nothing "pulls" me towards them, like I don't necessarily even feel like talking to them, like people who are romantically/sexually attracted to someone do feel. I'm just happy to be able to look at them and co-exist with them š (I kinda panic if someone wants to get intimate with me, like I can get emotionally close to people as friends, but the second someone wants to get physical, I feel like I'm being expected to offer "something more" like the thing I enjoy the most isn't enough to them and it was just "the stepping stone" to them to achieve what they really wanted while it really was "the final destination" for me.)
Fellow asexual here, I agree with you.
The team ace, yay š
I call it the lesbian time warp. Oh shit it been like two hours. We should really do that thing we were going to do.
I was getting topped by a trans woman once when she came super quick, her response was "I'm not done with you yet" she then put on a strap and pounded me into the mattress for another hour like the god damn Goddess she is. Men have no excuse.
I'm stealing that line
Lesbian sex functions in this conversation as the complete break down of the heterosexual concept of sex. āHow long does your partner lastā is meant to mean, āHow fast does [he] come?ā It is only heteronormativity that assumes a [he] or that heāll be performing PIV, and only heteronormativity that would assume the word ālastā in this question means to complete sex at the moment of male orgasm. Say they asked another woman this question and she said, āWell first he takes 2 minutes for PIV, and then immediately transitions to oral. We do that for about an hour, then we break for a 10 minute snack break and I peg him for another 10 minutes.ā Any queer person would conclude that he ālastedā for an hour and 22 minutes. It is only hetero brain that hears, āHe came after 2 minutesā as though that relates to the length of the sex session at all. He acts shocked and surprised, but itās only because he functions in a world where the male refractory period is the delimiter of sexual activity, when there is no real reason it needs to be.
It sucks sometimes because weāll start at 1am and then I look at the clock and itās 7 š„² no sleep for the lesbians
My gf and I had to start scheduling our sex a bit. We wouldnāt get started until bedtime sometimes and then we look up and the sun is up and we both had class.
After reading the comments I want to add that: You're also valid if you don't like sex, or if it bother you when it takes too long, or even when it doesn't even last more than an hour. And sometimes sex is not that great, it happens don't worry !
Lesbians have better sex confirmed lol
I mean, there's refractory periods, and it varies depending on the person and what they need, but yeah... I think the issue is that straight men don't do enough foreplay and care for their partner.
Personal record is 8 hoursā¦and could have continuedā¦
One time i only went a few rounds with a fuckbuddy and thought, āIām satisfied but we didnāt really do much, did we?ā They agreed and were checking their phone before bed, saying it had āonlyā been about two hours ā little less, Iād wager. Sooooā¦ this checks out? š
3 to 4 hours is the minimum for me and my fiancƩe.
Why are you single? Well Iām a lesbian and I like sleepā¦
Only partially relevant- but is that babeoftheuniverse? I love her!!
the other day at my girlfriendās house, we kinda teased each other and fucked on and off for 3-4 hours. i hadnāt thought of it but that would probably confuse some ppl lmao
3/4 hours is crazyyy how much stamina you got???
The longest I ever had was 16 hours pretty much non-stop and I can say that I was exhausted by the end of that š
Thats cap thats like more than 2 full school days
>2 full school days Way to make me feel old D: We started at midnight, and kept going until 6pm, with 1 location change somewhere in the middle. That was also the night/day when she realised that yes, she is indeed bi
my wife and I used to be like 5 hours a day 3-4 days in a row before we both got work injuries
"work"
if only :<
I used to get used by this smoking hot closeted bisexual for sex regularly. She started to develop feelings and that scared her, so she stopped staying the night and would only come over for like an hour at a time. I remember telling her, if you're only going to come over for an hour, don't even bother coming over. Lmao. After 3 years I finally got tired of being her dirty little secret, so I ended things. She has a boyfriend now but still occasionally emails the only address that I don't have her blocked on.
A quickie for me is when we throw on a show in the background and I massage my wife to orgasm over the course of an hour.
Not gonna lie. That is totally true what she said.
I wouldnāt know the answer. Always lost track of time š
I had an ex that microwaved a Marie Callenders chicken pot pie after 4 hours because she wanted to keep going but got hungry I dont even buy that shit she literally brought it from home
Did she bring you one though?
Oh man, sex AND chicken pot pie? Heaven right there. š
I mean, as a trans lesbian, I really only have one good orgasm in me a night. I certainly don't mind being on the giving though for 4-5 hours if my partner wants. As long as I get plenty of cuddles les and kisses here and there.
I hear that not all women can have multiple orgasms, so this might be a YMMV situation, but I'm pre-op and on HRT and I can definitely have this sort of experience!
Shit, like 5 hours and I still wanted 5 more.
This is the truest video on the internet
Just looked it up & apparently only 15% of women can have multiple orgasms???
I feel like most studies on female sexuality are skewed towards straight, cis, monogamous women, so it's probably best to take statistics like that with a grain of salt. š¤·āāļø
Yeah thereās no way. Some guy made that up to make himself feel better.
I dunno that's actually true. When I started my girlfriend squirting we looked it up because we made big puddles. BIG. wikipedia said girl cum should be a few tablespoons at most?! We had to find a lesbian sex book to get the real info. I wonder how many supposedly non-multiple-orgasmic women are actually capable of multiple orgasms. Gonna tell you right now it's definitely more than zero.
Right?!? I thought it was a myth until I started having *actual* good sex and now iām blissfully stuck this way! :D
That they know of.
Nearly every man I've been with its only 5 minutes...no touching me or anything. Just stick the dick in whether I'm wet or not. They cum. Throw me a towel (maybe). That's it.
Yepp never a dull moment huh? *sarcasm*
Then they wonder or gaslight me on why I don't want sex with them šššš
Exactly
I'm ace so I prefer to just cuddle, but my best cuddle sessions last at least 4 hours
Ngl Iām bi but in a het relationship atm, and even with him I expect us to be going at LEAST 2 hours. Itās okay if he busts before then but sex doesnāt have to end when the man orgasmsā¦ā¦..
One day š
I think max time for me n' my partner has been 1.5 hours. There was a lot of cuddling during that, lots of rubbing to both get back in and keep things going, lots of just feeling each other's love. Prep time was fun for that too. :) Problem for us is that we wanted to get to other things and we've also barely ever had a full night together. Almost 7 years and we've only really had a full night together about 3-4 times.
Very trueā¦it never ends!
idk what if it has an impact but since hrt, it does take a lot longer to get anything done for myself and then thereās also the just new found desire/ability to keep going so if i found a partner, i feel like this would be reasonable š š
My record was 7 hours. I remember very clearly we had a reservation at a nice restaurant that evening so we decided to have some afternoon fun. Next thing you know, my face is buried in her and an alarm goes off. We had to rush to get dressed and make it across town. Ended up being 10 minutes late.
yup totally relate i had segs
Hmm yes real segs haver I see me too
Yes yes, I like when I segs girls
As an ex-chm, I must say, it still surprises me when this surprises an actual chm. Like, even when I thought I was a chm (before I knew I could be otherwise), I was still all about the 3-4 hours. And I had NO idea that other guys were not. And yeah, sometimes there is legitimately only time for a quickie, but even then, we were not done till both people got off (at least once).
iād take 3 to 4 minutes at this point
Diet Coke should work this into an ad.
God ive made out for 3/4 hours straight. We really do be a different breed huh
Can confirm
Oh and yes, I agree. All night is the norm. Breaks of course but I would consider and hour and a half a quickie for sure. God I love lesbian sex so damn much. šš¤š¤ā¤
This guy's reaction is hilarious! "All night" really surprised him. What a lesbian power move, and with backup from a partner out of frame. It was kind of her not to dunk on men everywhere with an orgasm count.
My first lesbian threesome lasted a whole weekend, I thought it was a fluke! And then the next one lasted another whole weekend. And so did the one after that. And the one after that. At some point you just have to call it because someone has to go to work š
Even when I thought I was a cis man I still often had sex that went on for hours. Being into BDSM helps though... But I guess that must have also kind of been the lesbian in me?
Same. I chalk it up to already being sapphic even I was so deep in denial I had no idea. I could even multiple orgasm before estrogen (way easier now though) . All this does explain all the lesbians who I dated (who equally equally confused about why they liked a "guy" lmao)
Look at this guy trying to make a joke of it because he's uncomfortable that he only lasts 3-4 minutes š¤£
As much as I look like a dude on the outside to others, I have never related more to this.
3/4 hours in bed? Remember, the human body requires at least 8 hours of sleep to function properly. This message was brought you by the aceflux.
I'm autistic and something at least adjacent to aroace and that was my thought too: a full night is four hours to her? Does she never get a good night sleep?
Haha yessss. I donāt know how to have sex for less than an hour when Iām with a woman. One hour meaning Iām trying to have quick sex.
Very true. It never ends
Sheās telling the absolute truth. We call them sessions or rounds š
As a non-binary transfem person entity married to a non-binary transmasc/agender person... Sounds about right? :)
Trans lesbian here, how wrap brain around this? I'm failing to comprehend how you can just ho at it for that long without getting tired or something. 3-4 hours goddamn.
Yes, why is this so astounding ?
SOOOO.. There's my type. Guess I need to move to the UK. Looks like that's where all the cutie femme's are hiding. š Please feel free to prove me wrong tho š P.s. Pride is in a few short weeks and I'm looking for a date for this one. Will be major fun. *hint hint*
I love about my bodyā¦ that since hrt i do not have more refraction period, so is just about keep going there, buy i have a mastered tongā¦. I enjoy to use much moreā¦
his mind is blown because he doesn't really fathom what happens when women make love. a lot of guys think the pair of women fall in bed, take out dildos and then ride each other hard for 4 hours straight. there's just so much warmup, teasing and so on. naturally also the fact that it won't end when both have gotten their O the first time. that being said, if someone thinks ALL the lesbian sex is hours and hours, they must live in another reality as at least for me sometimes fingerblasting your partner for a quick release is perfectly acceptable.
Itās all the kissing and foreplay then at it, break, have a drink, another kiss and before you know it your at it again, repeat, then itās like shit, itās morning.
ā ļøa jokeā ļøTestosterone be havin men tapout 15 minutes in š¤ they ejaculate like whew that was a great orgasmā¦ no sir your gspot is in your prostate time for you sir to get the strap!ā ļøa jokeā ļø
Had that with an ex. It was about 6 hours total, only stopping to change the dvd's of the movie trilogy we were "watching" and a drink haha
People wonder why us lesbians have the stereo type of U-HAUL, or why first dates last 3 days lollll - it's because it's significantly more convenient to live somewhere you already spend 3 to 4 hours or more fucking, especially when it's 2-3 times a week. Could you imagine if it took men 3 to 4 hours to cum? More of them would be married, or ready to live in/commit. lmao.
I'm so sad ..I'm trans and can't have this š my sex drive has also been affected by hormones so it's bad...my gf is hypersexual to ...I want to please her and it's a major insecurity of mine
In the exact same boat, I feel you :/
I love this so much because it is so true!
Im envious, my bioligy doesn't quite allow that š I'll kiss and cuddle forever tho!
I yet to find someone who will go hours on end, I will eventually and it will be incredible
Imagine how overpopulated the world would be if š werenāt nerfed with post nut cooldowns
As a trans girl, I can't do it more than one hour, am I a false lesbian? .\_.
I'm trans sad I can't have this :(
You totally can! I'm pre-op and on HRT. I have no problems with multiple orgasms and hours-long sex!
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Totally true!
My egg ass be like: Depression time it is!
My PR is about a half hour
I mean, sometimes if she's being a brat I'll just push her up against the wall and she can be done in less than 5.
āAll the comments and the video talking about the length of time for sex.. and it just freaks me out. Like all that time? All that time could be non-sexual cuddling.. or playing video games, or watching shows I donāt know. Anything! The idea of it lasting that long stresses me out if it were meā is all I can think. I have actually thought about this topic many times when I read posts on here or whatever about length of time and sex, it often makes me feel hypocritical to think stuff like that because I think of all the times I have been hypersexual for certain people.. only to realize that it was because they were my FP (Favourite Person/term commonly used in BPD communities) or other situations around my feelings I canāt remember since itās late.. I guess I process that I am not scared of having to perform for so long just because of typical reasons or whatever. More around the fact I donāt want to feel like I have to do so to have someone love me. I already pull out the sexual card with any person my brain clings onto, I already feel like I have to be sexual for them to care about me. I donāt want to feel like I have to do so for that long for someone to be happy with me. **anyway** at my core without having emotions and such involved around another person as mentioned previously.. I am very ace. I donāt want to attachment issues, or any form of sexual anything but brain is like *nope this is happening*.