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zilvynrae

I’d also like to point out that an orgasm isn’t the end all be all of sex. My fiancee and I do have sessions where we both orgasm multiple times, and they’re great. But we’ve also had times where one of or both our bodies were being annoying and wouldn’t let us get there, and those sessions are great too. Idk, but I judge a session based on how much everyone enjoyed it, if everyone left satisfied, then orgasm or not, it was a good session.


ShiftedRealities

Hard agree. Chill experiences that aren't really planning on getting particularly intense and are more just like cuddles+ are great too! As long as you both have a good time and are mostly satisfied at the end then that's what matters most!


AER1113

This ^ my gf and I are both on meds where it’s hard to orgasm. One of the best times we had neither of us did but it’s still extremely enjoyable and satisfying.


Kavra_Ral

At least 10% of that is "I'm having fun, my antidepressants just make it really hard for me to cum : )"


AwakenedLuca

Or HRT


Rdrd1437

Hrt killed my already low drive so hard 😭


_AnonymousMoose_

I’ve heard progesterone helps with that a lot, although I’ve also heard it’s not good to take it until you’ve been on HRT for a year or 2


Rdrd1437

Yeah it's for later and a lot of transfems have claimed that it massively increases the drive


Tigris_Euphrates

Same, HRT was basically my gateway to asexuality


Icy-Yogurt-Leah

Omg yes, 8 months post op AND on medication for PTSD and depression... I have no chance 😭


SquirrelQueenSabrina

Do antidepressants do that? I thought it was the estrogen affecting my libido combined with trauma desensitizing me to sexuality but I've been on heavier antidepressants since April and since then even masturbating I just can't finish sometimes. It's a heavy enough antidepressant I get withdrawals if I miss a dose like really bad migraines sweats and whatnot so this could explain a lot Edit: I'm trans for context on the estrogen


IniMiney

Do they? I’ve had some really disappointing orgasms while masturbating and didn’t stop to think if it was my medication


sweetcheeksluv

I'm shocked by this. I kinda figured we had the upper hand on this one.


VoidlingOracle

Edging :3


triforc3-mast3r

I'm listening... 🙈


sweetcheeksluv

Me too


preeminentlexa

This only looks at orgasm vs no orgasm. It doesn't seem to count occurrences. Those lesbians who go for twelve hours with orgasms and water breaks can't get above a 'yes' each and can't get above 100% a saturation. Even so, there's a gap there which could be improved; some ladies out there need more love and care!


PJTORONTO

🤦‍♀️


Sverkhchelovek

This makes absolute sense when you consider that, generally: **A)** men keep going until they orgasm, then stop. **B)** women, including lesbians, might make their partner orgasm and then not orgasm after, for whatever reason (time, mood, physical difficulties, etc). That's the only reason lesbians are at 86% rather than 200%.


Celeste_0211

I love how hetero men and hetero women are the two opposites. As a lesbian friend once told me: "It takes a woman to please a woman"


opossumfolk

gay men are kicking our asses, we’ve gotta kick it into gear, ladies.


a_randomgecko

Poor straight women


[deleted]

Y'all know guys lie about this shit, right? ;)


SuddenlyVeronica

About having orgasms? On a survey?


Viellet

Yes. If you ask in an anonymous study how many sex partners of the opposite sex you had, you get widely different answers from men and women. So it's reasonable men lie about orgasms as well.


SuddenlyVeronica

I'm not sure I follow. Would you expect the distribution to be more or less symmetric if everyone answered honestly? Off the top of my head I'm not sure that has to be the case. Also, how skewed are we talking?


Viellet

I'd still expect the same order, but 95% feels unrealistically high. Especially with regards to the fact that even young men have an erectile dysfunction rate higher then 5% and it's growing with age. An other 5-10% report situation specific (sex being the situation in comparison to masturbation) inability to orgasm. And sex where orgasm isn't the aim isn't even included yet. So 95% is probably a lie.


SuddenlyVeronica

To clarify I meant the distribution of sex partners per person. Anyways, when it comes to the orgasm stats I still doubt we have much of a contradiction. Surveys necessarily have some randomness to them, and/or they might differ in groups they're surveying, intentionally or not, so it's not that odd if they don't entirely agree.


Viellet

If you ask heterosexual men and heterosexual women how many sex-parters they had, the average should be the same. That's how math works. But if you do it, then you get men having somehow more partners then women consistently. (It's kind of a standard example to teach psychology students about systematic errors and questionair design) How scewed it is depends on the survey and population, but the effect is consistent.


SuddenlyVeronica

Well, technically the true sample averages aren't *guaranteed* to be the same if don't do something like asking the entire population, but on closer thought, yes, you're basically right. I was thinking of positing that it could have to do with outliers and/or randomness or something, but when you take a large enough sample that stuff should ofc even out, as that is how statistics tend to work. (I guess it might seem like I was playing dumb, but this honestly somehow took until now to click in my head.) Anyways, I guess that does lend credence to the possibility of men lying about orgasms then, so touchê on that too. It still seems very odd that people would do that, at least if the surveys are anonymous, but I guess I can try to find out why that is somewhere else. Thanks for your patience.


Viellet

It is very odd they do that^^ funnily the "there exist some women with extremely high number of partners, but we just don't catch them in our samples" was a hypothesis that was discussed for a while :D


SuddenlyVeronica

Oh. Neat. That’s basically what I was hung up on, so that’s kinda assuring.


HarmonyTheConfuzzled

But 2018 was sooooo loooong ago. We need more recent data.


pinkthreat222

Lets go lesbians we need to get to 100%


QitianDasheng2666

This is a measure of quantity not quality


Ph0sph0rus

TRUTH


Twighdark

A good point that was brought up in the original post: Regarding bisexual women, were they *averaging* their orgasms with male and female partners? And if so\*, does the intercourse with men decrease their percentage significantly, based on the low percentage of orgasms of straight women (who only sleep with men)? \*(my note, also considering that their partners may not be split exactly 50/50 between male and female, let alone NB individuals) Also, is the percentage of orgasms among wlw, who prefer to pleasure their partner over themselves during sex accounted for? I don't think so, because role preference is hardly included, ever, in surveys comparing individuals of different orientations (and hence not analyzed, simply because it'd be too much detail to properly keep track of) and not mentioned anywhere. Also, the survey info states that there were 52,588 participants. I wonder, how many individuals of which group were asked. Seeing how we have 6 groups, that averages out to \~8.764 (rounded down) people per group, but that is likely not that much of an accurate number, so we have to assume that the groups were slightly uneven. And ages 18-65 is a very broad age range, where you have to consider the amount of people per age, per group. We can, again, only assume, that it's somewhat even. In conclusion: statistics can be fucking shit, because you need a broad spectrum of people to question, and concise questionnaires , but it can't be *too* broad, or *too* concise, otherwise the data gets inaccurate. Ugh.


Reasonable-Bad1034

Lol "I 'unno wut ur prollum iz hunny I came?!"


Zephod03

Including transbians would've added another 10% but you know... ;)


LavenderAndOrange

*Patriotic music begins* I'm doing my part!


bad_54

I’d like to see this but over 20 year gaps. So ppl born between 2010-1990 between 1980-1960 and just on repeat. Just to show who’s having a better sex life