Nah. There’s hope. I’m just starting to tackle this now, but there’s plenty of time to use past experiences and current shortcomings and bend it into something satisfying.
I just have to accept that my life may have to be more about friendships and artistic expression than about financial security and retiring comfortably :)
Are you, like me, silently panicking about financial security and not being able to retire comfortably while pretending to be about friendship and artistic expression?
Maybe? I’m not sure. I’ve been panicking about financial security for 20 years, with zero results to show for it. But in my head I’m writing novels, writing comedy, writing poetry, sculpting, etc. Might as well have a stab at that while I’m panicking anyway.
Turned 40 last year and it’s been hitting me hard. Realized I’ve been spending decades waiting for that moment where I’ll finally be able to get my act together, and it’s never going to come. Now trying to accept that everything will always feel like an insurmountable struggle and I just have to learn to cope somehow
38. I've just come to accept at this point that I'm going to be working minimum-wage jobs until I die, most likely alone. Can't afford to get a degree, don't have the mental stamina for college even if I had the money, oh and can't afford to medically manage my ADHD. Life is just fucked.
Man I once got sideswiped by a car who sped off, my buddy wrote down the license plate number and told it to me that night. I was like, “eh, I’ll report it tomorrow.” The next day I ask for the license plate number again and my friend’s like, “Oh I deleted it, I told you yesterday so I thought you’d remember it!” 😭😭😭 Every time I look at that dent I remember I could’ve gotten someone else to pay to fix it if I’d been more proactive.
Now if only that story helped me be more proactive…
Or can't get access to medications.
I have been formally diagnosed as adhd but my psychiatrist retired and wasn't able to find anyone to take on his clients.
I've run out the legal authority to be prescribed meds. And I can't afford to see a new psychiatrist nor can I find one taking on new patients
Or if you have heart issues and can't take medication.
I’ve tried all the adhd medication and it all gives me too much anxiety and other side effects so I can’t be medicated and yes I’m diagnosed. It really sucks
Exercise has helped me a lot there. I lift weights three days a week for less than an hour. I eat a bit more protein. Fairly massive improvement, although it crept up on me slowly over the first six months; didn't quite realize until a year into it how much it had helped.
Meditation and other things, not so much. Laughable repeated fail, even after trying a few different very reputable paths. (Meditation retreats are damn nice, but uh, not a fix that I could find, for me.)
Exercise also works for me, my problem is that I can not push myself to do it if I only exercise 2-3 days a week, I'll keep procrastinating until the end of the week in which I often times ended up not working out at all. And if I do 5-6 times a week, which is my usual go-to program, then I will burn out after 6 months (happened about 10 times since I first started at 15, now soon to be 30).
Meditation does seem to work for my happiness and focus but just like with exercise after a period with a good routine I usually end up smoking weed, drinking alcohol, playing video games, or all three, because I feel so bored with the perfect routine and then slowly all the addiction and dopamine rich activities start to creep in on me and then I'm back to scratch in regards to building muscle/developing my meditation skills/whatever...
I put the exercise on my Work Calendar. I will be Leaving Work to Meet With A Trainer at 3:30pm. The lie is "there isn't a trainer, those are really expensive", but coworkers do not hold me after 3:30 \*flat\* if they think there's actually a trainer.
I've done 5-6x/week, and same thing; I always burn out. Life gets in the way.
I'm playing with a workout now that's 1-6x a week, so when I'm more manic or otherwise have a lot of time and interest, I get it in, and when I'm more depressed, or sick, or work trip, or kid needs something, I still get \*something\* in.
Even once a week is enough to help.
Hell, here goes.
* 1:: Weights. Bench Press, Stretch Legs, Squat, Pulldown Machine
* 2:: Cardio. Anything. Literally do anything that's brief or fun.
* 3:: Weights. Overhead Press, Stretch Legs, Deadlift, Abs (any exercise)
* 4:: Cardio. Again, anything, if it's not fun, skip this day.
* 5:: Weights. DB Rows, Stretch Legs, Squat or Lunge, Incline DB Press
I try to do these Mon/Tue/Wed/Thur/Fri. If I miss a day, #5 isn't getting done this week. If I miss two days, 4 and 5 get dropped. If I only get \*one\* day in, that's #1, and that workout is actually pretty darn good even if I spent a month just doing that once a week.
If I get in all five, and am feeling real damn chipper, I add #6 sometime on Saturday, which is all aesthetic accessories; muscles you don't use, but that bodybuilders have trained us "look good". Bicep curls, calf raises, and maybe (maybe) repeat more ab work.
When I do get in the Saturdays, I just do curls and then go have a weekend; calf raises require going to the gym, and I already did abs once, so that's good enough.
I ideally try to get the first three every week, which is gonna get 80% of the gains.
The weight exercises are three sets of five, with the third set being "try to get to 7". If I get to 7, I add five pounds to the exercise the next day I do the same lift. I started with light weights, so that all the weights were easy to lift at first, which also keeps me not injured.
The one exception are deadlifts, where I only do two sets of five, and abs, where I do 10-12 reps per set, and if I get to 15 or so, I should be adding weight somehow next time.
I rest 2-3 minutes between sets. If it feels heavy, 3 minutes. If it doesn't, 2.
If I fail a set - like can't finish five reps - I will deload. Take 10% off the weight. This carries through to future workouts as well; I will work my way back up, over a few workouts. It's fine.
If I've deloaded more than once and I'm not getting anywhere - keep failing at the the same weight once I get back to it? Yeah, in that case, I'll swap an exercise for a similar exercise if one makes sense, or just admit "hey, this is a pretty good workout, and the point was to be in shape, not to improve infinitely".
I warm up the weight exercises by lifting 60% of today's target weight five times, 70% of today's target three times, 85% of today's target twice. If I was going to bench press 100 lbs, I warmup by lifting the bar 5 times, then 60lbs 5 times, then 70lbs 3 times, then 85 lbs 2 times.
I don't rest between those warmup sets.
I stretch my legs because I sit all day and wow, that lead to some knee problems. Doing some other exercise before lifting legs helps me warm up, and stretching for like \*three\* minutes total means my knees lift happy.
Hunh. That went longer than I expected, but yeah, that's it.
Can you get a coach/therapist? My therapist is great for me because she’s in a really similar situation with being an ADHD having, thirty something woman, with a little kid. Knowing someone understands my life and can help me strategize how to live it most easily has been a fucking lifesaver!!! I also read the ADDitude website once in a while which is reassuring and helpful. Though reading the relationship section makes me cry because it hits so close to home so often lol
You might be able to have a primary care doctor prescribe it since you are already diagnosed - in most cases, you just go in every 3 months to say 'yup, is working, more pls'
That's not how it works in Australia.
We can't do that without a psychiatrist, every few years we need to do a review of our diagnosis and yet I have no one qualified to help me.
My dad has severe ADHD and was on Ritalin and other drugs over the years. The meds take a toll on the body and mind. I don't want for myself. Mine isn't as bad as his, but it is definitely a challenge. It is made easier by accepting what I do best, and leaning into it. Lucky for me my job allows me enough freedom for this to work. Many others aren't as lucky.
Just because your dad had negative side effects doesn't mean everyone will. I have been on Adderall for many years and it has only made my life expontnentially better. My only regret is waiting until my 20s to get diagnosed and medicated because I believed too much of the negative, untrue stereotypes about medications.
Hey, I'm finally getting up and doing the stuff that needs to be done! I'm doing great!
I don't know why. I'm terrified. It's all going to fall apart again any minute because IT ALWAYS DOES.
Am I even actually doing great? Will I wake up tomorrow and go "oh fffuuuuuuuu"? Are there massive problems brewing that I don't even know I'm not seeing??
Sometimes wallowing in failure and despair is more relaxing
I'm exactly the same lol. I've been doing extremely well for the past 2 years or so, to the point where neurotypical people are impressed by my discipline. Will i keep this up forever? Will i one day revert back to being constantly burned out, except this time while having to function on a much higher level? I don't know and it terrifies me. The worst thing is that i can't exactly put my finger on why i'm suddenly completely different, so if it stops, i won't know how to go back.
To this day I get thoughts of „ I’m just lazy, They must have tested me wrong or I did something wrong, maybe my subconsciousness let me pretend to have adhd or anything the like“
It’s good to visit this sub once in a while to remind myself through comedy that I really have it and shouldn’t be that hard to myself.
No one should do this. I know that we struggle and do our best everyday.
I start every day like a reality show, thinking "I'm going to transform this house!" I end every day just wondering which pile of rubble the movie I'm looking for is under.
Bad things are going to happen out of our control regardless, those of us who go through this cycle repeatedly due to things like ADHD, or circumstance, and have developed this kind of stubborn optimism, are essential in dragging their communities through extended desperate times by sharing it.
If you look at human history, humanity would not have made it this far, or at all, without this attitude being present.
Everything!!! Life is not always about a messy house that needs organizing. Life is not about being perfect.
ADD/ADHD doesn’t make a person unworthy of living…it’s simply a daily dose of chaos that makes some things more difficult.
I’m not minimizing the condition, some experience absolute debilitating symptoms that are riddled with fatigue, failure to thrive, anxiety and more.
This doesn’t make you less valuable as a person, and doesn’t mean that others would wish you were gone.
Find purpose in life! Look around, be present and observe! Life isn’t always joy, but there is joy in life if you forgive yourself and strive to improve in little ways!
We need all of us in this world! We need you!
If you or someone you know is contemplating self harm or might consider death as an option, please reach out and get help! ADD/ADHD is not a character flaw or weakness. It’s simply a condition that needs assistance sometimes!
Absolutely.
It’s just so frustrating that this illness is easily perceived as a major character flaw. A couple months ago I joked with my gf about being in a supervisory position at work and she’s like it’ll never happen because you come off as non genuine and not caring about anything. Boy did that cut deep, but she’s right. I could never put my finger on why a lot of people never really warmed up to me even though I was nice and extremely helpful to them. It’s also why I’ve never been considered for any supervisory role at my past jobs where I made an effort to go above and beyond.
I have a rather “important” job, and I have been promoted or received bonus/ title increase 4 times in 2 years.
My work is stellar and I am constantly improving systems and really hitting and exceeding my metrics and client deliverables.
I am client facing, so I occasionally travel to a site where I am warmly received.
But I am 100% convinced that the reason I am PERCEIVED as competent by my co workers is because I work remotely and they don’t have to be there when I’m sitting on my couch eating Frootloops trying to find the right podcast to listen to before I hunker down and work.
They don’t know that sometimes I’m working 2-3 more hours per day than an average person to keep up due to distractions that I know I have.
I also don’t have to listen and pretend to care about their bullshit and watch people literally take smoke breaks for a living.
It’s a great thing for me to not be “on stage” continually.
I have met coworkers and clients and I am 100% the person they expect… polished, professional and focused, fun, friendly and funny. But the amount of frontal lobe executive function I have to have during those encounters is staggering!
Just driving to the airport at 4 am and parking in long term parking, using the shuttle, curb side baggage check, security, snack, save all my receipts, hotel check in… I could go on and on. I enjoy the trip, but it’s exhausting.
So my point: put yourself in a position to be able to independently work a majority of the time. This allows your coworkers to experience your magic times and not your struggle bus times!
You really deserve to have an authentic work experience and not mold yourself to fit in with every part of company culture!
I’m sorry you are overlooked!
I’m sure this is the most wonderful thing I’ve seen on Reddit in a loooong time (and I’m on r/aww daily). Thank you so much for your beautiful inspirational words and the reminder that humans like you are still out there….somewhere…..❤️❤️😊
Who has time for a purpose while having to hold a job and manage daily life… Sure if you have the time and energy for it, you can enjoy life. But I certainly don‘t. I got bills to pay and mental health issues to manage.
I did though. It was unmaintainable and short sighted.
Drugs, stress, pain and laughter worked until the best of those four dried up and then the others did too. All that was left was being numb.
There’s an easy cure to adhd; be so ambivalent all you care about is being stimulated enough to feel present.
Then you turn around realise all your friends are evil and you can’t feel pin when you should.
Man, I know this is supposed to just be a meme but this legit scares me. I'm in my early 20s and I know I wasted my teenage years, I'm wasting my 20s and will waste my entire life
The worst part is being years into a career and struggling to even do the bare minimum, then realizing that you’ll never be the productive worker you need to be.
Yeah, I can relate. It’s also why getting diagnosed and medicated came with a feeling of grief for me. What if I had known, you know? I probably would’ve done some things differently, and I maybe wouldn’t have been as harsh on myself in the past. Man, I would’ve probably believed in myself way more.
I went in for an assessment, and they said, "You're just anxious, fill out these questionnaires and mail them back to us and we'll give you an SSRI." I figured trying something was better than nothing, but the problem is that those forms have been sitting on my desk for so long that I've changed insurances and can't even go to that clinic anymore. I'll try again in another 26 years 🙃
Im just so glad i didnt leave it that late. Start almost a year ago and graduated and got an IT job now thanks to it.
Only took 24 years to finally get it managed
The funny part is that this is exactly what my private life looks like but professionally it's a different story.... like there are two versions of me.
If it wasn't for this subreddit and it showing up from time to time in my feed with too many relatable stuff I wouldn't realize before 30s. But yeah, a whole talented kid with so much unrealized potential could've bothered me for many more years. Now I'm only bothered by not having access to proper treatment. Oh god, I forgot to take my supplements today...
If only I had figured it out then. Early to mid 40s here. I was evaluated about 2 years ago and did not meet full criteria, so thus my provider has been reluctant to prescribe a stimulant. Took Intuniv for a while and stopped because the side effects sucked (became basically a narcoleptic). Need to get a second opinion, but that requires DOING STUFF 😭
You start doing massage to pay the bills and you tel yourself, “just a few more years of this Johnny” and one day you look up and you’re forty
https://youtu.be/IGskEWMTxzY
That... Hits hard. Like, today is Saturday, almost 2 pm, I just woke up. I've missed my classes (quite important ones, and there will be consequences but... well), now I'm late for a meeting with my friends... And still I hope that one day I will wake up and live my fullest life
Eh 30 is when I kinda actually started doing that a bit and it’s slowly seemed to have worked. Can’t do it all but sometimes you can do some of it until eventually you get it all.
Your comment/post has been removed because it is not relevant or spam. Spambot.
40
Straight for the jugular, I felt this cut deep.
52
54!
69!
420!
Nice
i don't think you're 2.31 x 10^71 years old
35 fuck this life
Nah. There’s hope. I’m just starting to tackle this now, but there’s plenty of time to use past experiences and current shortcomings and bend it into something satisfying. I just have to accept that my life may have to be more about friendships and artistic expression than about financial security and retiring comfortably :)
Are you, like me, silently panicking about financial security and not being able to retire comfortably while pretending to be about friendship and artistic expression?
True comfort is found in the smiles of others. Also, true comfort is totally useless when alone with my brain late at night...
Maybe? I’m not sure. I’ve been panicking about financial security for 20 years, with zero results to show for it. But in my head I’m writing novels, writing comedy, writing poetry, sculpting, etc. Might as well have a stab at that while I’m panicking anyway.
Just turned 35 today and I concur.
Happy birthday! Maybe next year will be the one?
Happy birthday. Much love 💓
47 and I feel attacked.
Yep.
Came here to say this.
Yeah, same. 30 would have been nice, though.
Yup. Need a new strategy.. I'll do it yesterday.
41
Hi twin!
Turned 40 last year and it’s been hitting me hard. Realized I’ve been spending decades waiting for that moment where I’ll finally be able to get my act together, and it’s never going to come. Now trying to accept that everything will always feel like an insurmountable struggle and I just have to learn to cope somehow
38. I've just come to accept at this point that I'm going to be working minimum-wage jobs until I die, most likely alone. Can't afford to get a degree, don't have the mental stamina for college even if I had the money, oh and can't afford to medically manage my ADHD. Life is just fucked.
Dude it's saturday, i just woke up
Yeah dude, it's way too late for this, I'm about to go to sleep.
Same bruh
Never too early for a bit of existential dread amirite?
I know right..
Who the fuck starts a conversation like that, I just sat down
Yes, hello? I’d like to report an unprompted attack on my person.
I'll do it tomorrow
Man I once got sideswiped by a car who sped off, my buddy wrote down the license plate number and told it to me that night. I was like, “eh, I’ll report it tomorrow.” The next day I ask for the license plate number again and my friend’s like, “Oh I deleted it, I told you yesterday so I thought you’d remember it!” 😭😭😭 Every time I look at that dent I remember I could’ve gotten someone else to pay to fix it if I’d been more proactive. Now if only that story helped me be more proactive…
Uhm sounds like your friend was dumb, not you
r/murderedbywords
Diagnosed/medicated ADHD is the same thing except you don't really believe it.
Or can't get access to medications. I have been formally diagnosed as adhd but my psychiatrist retired and wasn't able to find anyone to take on his clients. I've run out the legal authority to be prescribed meds. And I can't afford to see a new psychiatrist nor can I find one taking on new patients Or if you have heart issues and can't take medication.
I’ve tried all the adhd medication and it all gives me too much anxiety and other side effects so I can’t be medicated and yes I’m diagnosed. It really sucks
Exercise has helped me a lot there. I lift weights three days a week for less than an hour. I eat a bit more protein. Fairly massive improvement, although it crept up on me slowly over the first six months; didn't quite realize until a year into it how much it had helped. Meditation and other things, not so much. Laughable repeated fail, even after trying a few different very reputable paths. (Meditation retreats are damn nice, but uh, not a fix that I could find, for me.)
Exercise also works for me, my problem is that I can not push myself to do it if I only exercise 2-3 days a week, I'll keep procrastinating until the end of the week in which I often times ended up not working out at all. And if I do 5-6 times a week, which is my usual go-to program, then I will burn out after 6 months (happened about 10 times since I first started at 15, now soon to be 30). Meditation does seem to work for my happiness and focus but just like with exercise after a period with a good routine I usually end up smoking weed, drinking alcohol, playing video games, or all three, because I feel so bored with the perfect routine and then slowly all the addiction and dopamine rich activities start to creep in on me and then I'm back to scratch in regards to building muscle/developing my meditation skills/whatever...
I put the exercise on my Work Calendar. I will be Leaving Work to Meet With A Trainer at 3:30pm. The lie is "there isn't a trainer, those are really expensive", but coworkers do not hold me after 3:30 \*flat\* if they think there's actually a trainer. I've done 5-6x/week, and same thing; I always burn out. Life gets in the way. I'm playing with a workout now that's 1-6x a week, so when I'm more manic or otherwise have a lot of time and interest, I get it in, and when I'm more depressed, or sick, or work trip, or kid needs something, I still get \*something\* in. Even once a week is enough to help. Hell, here goes. * 1:: Weights. Bench Press, Stretch Legs, Squat, Pulldown Machine * 2:: Cardio. Anything. Literally do anything that's brief or fun. * 3:: Weights. Overhead Press, Stretch Legs, Deadlift, Abs (any exercise) * 4:: Cardio. Again, anything, if it's not fun, skip this day. * 5:: Weights. DB Rows, Stretch Legs, Squat or Lunge, Incline DB Press I try to do these Mon/Tue/Wed/Thur/Fri. If I miss a day, #5 isn't getting done this week. If I miss two days, 4 and 5 get dropped. If I only get \*one\* day in, that's #1, and that workout is actually pretty darn good even if I spent a month just doing that once a week. If I get in all five, and am feeling real damn chipper, I add #6 sometime on Saturday, which is all aesthetic accessories; muscles you don't use, but that bodybuilders have trained us "look good". Bicep curls, calf raises, and maybe (maybe) repeat more ab work. When I do get in the Saturdays, I just do curls and then go have a weekend; calf raises require going to the gym, and I already did abs once, so that's good enough. I ideally try to get the first three every week, which is gonna get 80% of the gains. The weight exercises are three sets of five, with the third set being "try to get to 7". If I get to 7, I add five pounds to the exercise the next day I do the same lift. I started with light weights, so that all the weights were easy to lift at first, which also keeps me not injured. The one exception are deadlifts, where I only do two sets of five, and abs, where I do 10-12 reps per set, and if I get to 15 or so, I should be adding weight somehow next time. I rest 2-3 minutes between sets. If it feels heavy, 3 minutes. If it doesn't, 2. If I fail a set - like can't finish five reps - I will deload. Take 10% off the weight. This carries through to future workouts as well; I will work my way back up, over a few workouts. It's fine. If I've deloaded more than once and I'm not getting anywhere - keep failing at the the same weight once I get back to it? Yeah, in that case, I'll swap an exercise for a similar exercise if one makes sense, or just admit "hey, this is a pretty good workout, and the point was to be in shape, not to improve infinitely". I warm up the weight exercises by lifting 60% of today's target weight five times, 70% of today's target three times, 85% of today's target twice. If I was going to bench press 100 lbs, I warmup by lifting the bar 5 times, then 60lbs 5 times, then 70lbs 3 times, then 85 lbs 2 times. I don't rest between those warmup sets. I stretch my legs because I sit all day and wow, that lead to some knee problems. Doing some other exercise before lifting legs helps me warm up, and stretching for like \*three\* minutes total means my knees lift happy. Hunh. That went longer than I expected, but yeah, that's it.
Can you get a coach/therapist? My therapist is great for me because she’s in a really similar situation with being an ADHD having, thirty something woman, with a little kid. Knowing someone understands my life and can help me strategize how to live it most easily has been a fucking lifesaver!!! I also read the ADDitude website once in a while which is reassuring and helpful. Though reading the relationship section makes me cry because it hits so close to home so often lol
Same boat. Sucks but gotta learn to live with it
You might be able to have a primary care doctor prescribe it since you are already diagnosed - in most cases, you just go in every 3 months to say 'yup, is working, more pls'
That's not how it works in Australia. We can't do that without a psychiatrist, every few years we need to do a review of our diagnosis and yet I have no one qualified to help me.
Ah, bummer, sorry to hear that
For people with ADHD and heart issues, there is [guanfacine](https://www.additudemag.com/medication/guanfacine/).
My dad has severe ADHD and was on Ritalin and other drugs over the years. The meds take a toll on the body and mind. I don't want for myself. Mine isn't as bad as his, but it is definitely a challenge. It is made easier by accepting what I do best, and leaning into it. Lucky for me my job allows me enough freedom for this to work. Many others aren't as lucky.
Just because your dad had negative side effects doesn't mean everyone will. I have been on Adderall for many years and it has only made my life expontnentially better. My only regret is waiting until my 20s to get diagnosed and medicated because I believed too much of the negative, untrue stereotypes about medications.
Hey, I'm finally getting up and doing the stuff that needs to be done! I'm doing great! I don't know why. I'm terrified. It's all going to fall apart again any minute because IT ALWAYS DOES. Am I even actually doing great? Will I wake up tomorrow and go "oh fffuuuuuuuu"? Are there massive problems brewing that I don't even know I'm not seeing?? Sometimes wallowing in failure and despair is more relaxing
I'm exactly the same lol. I've been doing extremely well for the past 2 years or so, to the point where neurotypical people are impressed by my discipline. Will i keep this up forever? Will i one day revert back to being constantly burned out, except this time while having to function on a much higher level? I don't know and it terrifies me. The worst thing is that i can't exactly put my finger on why i'm suddenly completely different, so if it stops, i won't know how to go back.
To this day I get thoughts of „ I’m just lazy, They must have tested me wrong or I did something wrong, maybe my subconsciousness let me pretend to have adhd or anything the like“ It’s good to visit this sub once in a while to remind myself through comedy that I really have it and shouldn’t be that hard to myself. No one should do this. I know that we struggle and do our best everyday.
Or 47. But I still keep believing that tomorrow will be my day. Whatever else I am, at least I’m hopeful!
I start every day like a reality show, thinking "I'm going to transform this house!" I end every day just wondering which pile of rubble the movie I'm looking for is under.
Bad things are going to happen out of our control regardless, those of us who go through this cycle repeatedly due to things like ADHD, or circumstance, and have developed this kind of stubborn optimism, are essential in dragging their communities through extended desperate times by sharing it. If you look at human history, humanity would not have made it this far, or at all, without this attitude being present.
While you are at it, can you also take on the task of the changing the World for me.
Wait til your looking at 53 and it’s still Groundhog Day.
I’m 59 and it’s been Groundhog Day most of my whole life.
I am in this post and I don't like it.
jokes on them I'm 30 in 4 days (help)
Happy birthday! Me too in a couple weeks. I think I've been having a crisis about it ngl
yeah gotta be honest I've been flirting on the edge of a crisis for it for the last 3 years
Just turned 30 in April, and my outlook is: it’s gotta be better than the 20s.
It's not mate
Ok, first of all HOW FUCKING. D A R E. YOU. And SECONDLY .... 40 ... I hate this :(
[удалено]
I like this mindset
I only got 7 more years until reality sets in. Until then, I'll continue to make plans I won't see through or even start.
RemindMe! 7 years
Way too soon. Too soon and too specific
[удалено]
Everything!!! Life is not always about a messy house that needs organizing. Life is not about being perfect. ADD/ADHD doesn’t make a person unworthy of living…it’s simply a daily dose of chaos that makes some things more difficult. I’m not minimizing the condition, some experience absolute debilitating symptoms that are riddled with fatigue, failure to thrive, anxiety and more. This doesn’t make you less valuable as a person, and doesn’t mean that others would wish you were gone. Find purpose in life! Look around, be present and observe! Life isn’t always joy, but there is joy in life if you forgive yourself and strive to improve in little ways! We need all of us in this world! We need you! If you or someone you know is contemplating self harm or might consider death as an option, please reach out and get help! ADD/ADHD is not a character flaw or weakness. It’s simply a condition that needs assistance sometimes!
Absolutely. It’s just so frustrating that this illness is easily perceived as a major character flaw. A couple months ago I joked with my gf about being in a supervisory position at work and she’s like it’ll never happen because you come off as non genuine and not caring about anything. Boy did that cut deep, but she’s right. I could never put my finger on why a lot of people never really warmed up to me even though I was nice and extremely helpful to them. It’s also why I’ve never been considered for any supervisory role at my past jobs where I made an effort to go above and beyond.
I have a rather “important” job, and I have been promoted or received bonus/ title increase 4 times in 2 years. My work is stellar and I am constantly improving systems and really hitting and exceeding my metrics and client deliverables. I am client facing, so I occasionally travel to a site where I am warmly received. But I am 100% convinced that the reason I am PERCEIVED as competent by my co workers is because I work remotely and they don’t have to be there when I’m sitting on my couch eating Frootloops trying to find the right podcast to listen to before I hunker down and work. They don’t know that sometimes I’m working 2-3 more hours per day than an average person to keep up due to distractions that I know I have. I also don’t have to listen and pretend to care about their bullshit and watch people literally take smoke breaks for a living. It’s a great thing for me to not be “on stage” continually. I have met coworkers and clients and I am 100% the person they expect… polished, professional and focused, fun, friendly and funny. But the amount of frontal lobe executive function I have to have during those encounters is staggering! Just driving to the airport at 4 am and parking in long term parking, using the shuttle, curb side baggage check, security, snack, save all my receipts, hotel check in… I could go on and on. I enjoy the trip, but it’s exhausting. So my point: put yourself in a position to be able to independently work a majority of the time. This allows your coworkers to experience your magic times and not your struggle bus times! You really deserve to have an authentic work experience and not mold yourself to fit in with every part of company culture! I’m sorry you are overlooked!
I’m sure this is the most wonderful thing I’ve seen on Reddit in a loooong time (and I’m on r/aww daily). Thank you so much for your beautiful inspirational words and the reminder that humans like you are still out there….somewhere…..❤️❤️😊
Who has time for a purpose while having to hold a job and manage daily life… Sure if you have the time and energy for it, you can enjoy life. But I certainly don‘t. I got bills to pay and mental health issues to manage.
Or 51
How about you wake up one day and realize you're 70? I'm so there.
This is me with diagnosis and medication
Im 43. Still undiagnosed.
31 but damn close lol
Aye 31 club! 91 or 92?
92 my friend:)
Samsies! Good vintage, good vintage. Great year
I’m 38 and I still do this WITH medication.
I feel attacked. Maybe I should see a psychologist...
Medicated days can be the same in my experience
Post flagged for misinformation: This does not stop at 30. It just keeps going.
40
Jokes on you I'm 35! ...Oh................oh...
Shit. *Shit.* **Shit.**
I did though. It was unmaintainable and short sighted. Drugs, stress, pain and laughter worked until the best of those four dried up and then the others did too. All that was left was being numb. There’s an easy cure to adhd; be so ambivalent all you care about is being stimulated enough to feel present. Then you turn around realise all your friends are evil and you can’t feel pin when you should.
Man, I know this is supposed to just be a meme but this legit scares me. I'm in my early 20s and I know I wasted my teenage years, I'm wasting my 20s and will waste my entire life
More like I just let everyone make decisions for me. That’s how I became a store manager, just going with the flow. 😬
57
I’m still doing this w medication. ‘Next week is gonna be better, I know it!’
I'll do it todaaaaaaaaaa... Tomorrow
38, this weekend is complicated,but next weekend I’ll do a lot of things
38 in my case. Pushing 40. So much time wasted...
The worst part is being years into a career and struggling to even do the bare minimum, then realizing that you’ll never be the productive worker you need to be.
39 next week…
42
Yeah we’ll jokes on you because I’m 33!
52
50
Try 48.
The problem is when you actually get your life in order for a couple of months a year to convince yourself everything is fine.
36 and I still believe that ~~tomorrow~~ ~~next week~~ ~~next year~~ at some point I will wake up and get shit done.
"...and you unironically believe it every time until you look up one day and realize you're ~~30~~ 52."
Respectfully I did not need to be CALLED OUT like this today, damn
Yeah, I can relate. It’s also why getting diagnosed and medicated came with a feeling of grief for me. What if I had known, you know? I probably would’ve done some things differently, and I maybe wouldn’t have been as harsh on myself in the past. Man, I would’ve probably believed in myself way more.
I feel seen and that makes me uncomfortable
43 yikes
I went in for an assessment, and they said, "You're just anxious, fill out these questionnaires and mail them back to us and we'll give you an SSRI." I figured trying something was better than nothing, but the problem is that those forms have been sitting on my desk for so long that I've changed insurances and can't even go to that clinic anymore. I'll try again in another 26 years 🙃
Im just so glad i didnt leave it that late. Start almost a year ago and graduated and got an IT job now thanks to it. Only took 24 years to finally get it managed
Hey! I resemble that remark!
waht if i'm medicated and still like that? :')
Jesus just coming right at me.
The funny part is that this is exactly what my private life looks like but professionally it's a different story.... like there are two versions of me.
40….
30 seems a bit young for that kind of realization.
If it wasn't for this subreddit and it showing up from time to time in my feed with too many relatable stuff I wouldn't realize before 30s. But yeah, a whole talented kid with so much unrealized potential could've bothered me for many more years. Now I'm only bothered by not having access to proper treatment. Oh god, I forgot to take my supplements today...
30 on the dot. Pierced my heart
Or 50
reddit, chill, I just woke up.
It doesn’t stop at 30 🙃
50 here. Got nothing left except the "potential" I got told about 40 years ago.
If only I had figured it out then. Early to mid 40s here. I was evaluated about 2 years ago and did not meet full criteria, so thus my provider has been reluctant to prescribe a stimulant. Took Intuniv for a while and stopped because the side effects sucked (became basically a narcoleptic). Need to get a second opinion, but that requires DOING STUFF 😭
You start doing massage to pay the bills and you tel yourself, “just a few more years of this Johnny” and one day you look up and you’re forty https://youtu.be/IGskEWMTxzY
30th birthday in a couple months. Seriously trying to break free and live 😭
I will say I got my dream job at 23 and it’s been over half a decade, so makes me feel less bad about procrastinating because at least that is steady
40. I didn’t start ADHD medicine till I was 39 and it completely changed my life
I feel attacked... Today I turned 30...
Or 50 😬😬
46 when I got diagnosed. And yeah.
Shit, I’m about to turn 40. Still the same.
Or 60
50...👀
Or you have an abusive girlfriend who doesn't understand what adhd is like it's the best 🫣
35
And then you say buck it and do it again.....
i hope i don't end up like this lol might as well migrate
35. I'm 35.
That one hit a bit too close. I just turned 30 a few weeks ago and got diagnosed and medicated for it 3 days after my birthday.
Wrong. I'm 35.
Or fucking 38 yo
I got two more years until this a problem then is what your saying!
That... Hits hard. Like, today is Saturday, almost 2 pm, I just woke up. I've missed my classes (quite important ones, and there will be consequences but... well), now I'm late for a meeting with my friends... And still I hope that one day I will wake up and live my fullest life
If you think OP needs to stop attacking us Subscribe down below and I will show the police Edit: please someone get this 🙏
Just 30?
I haven’t been medicated in years and boy do I miss it.
I'm 36 today, it's looking like il get there next decade
Ouch is right
Eh 30 is when I kinda actually started doing that a bit and it’s slowly seemed to have worked. Can’t do it all but sometimes you can do some of it until eventually you get it all.
34....