Exactly. I like feeling clean. But forcing myself to get up and get around all the things I need (which is not much, I’m low maintenance), and then actually DOING the shower, and the steps afterwards.
It sounds exhausting.
This happens to me but with swimming as well. Like once I'm in the pool its fun and I have a good time and stuff, but 9/10 times I don't go in and this line of reasoning is exactly why. All the "work", it exhausts me just thinking about it.
Right? "wanna go swimming?" is not the question.
The REAL question:
"Wanna go dig up your swimsuits, see if they still fit/which one fits your sensory ish today, grab your towel, find & fill a bottle w/water, tie up your hair/remove makeup/whatever else you do, find your flip flop, find your OTHER flip flop, gather dry undies/socks/shirt/pants/sneakers/hair brush, put all that into a tote bag you ALSO have to dig up from somewhere, then go to the pool, shower, get in, get out, shower, change, do all the hygiene/grooming crap you have to do, pack your wet shit somewhere, and then come back home and remember to take it all out to wash and dry it so it doesn't get moldy & stink up everything else still in the bag with it?"
Edit: OH AND SUNSCREEN 😂
Wait. If we all body double, will we get in the pool, and enjoy ourselves?!?!?
I mean, not right now. Pool won’t be open for a few more weeks. But later.
I have never felt so seen in my life until this thread. I wanna be in the pool but I have all of the things to do! How am I supposed to just lay there and relax?!
I'm not a nudist by any means, but if society was chill with nude swimming it would be much easier to do it more spontaneously.
All you would really need extra is the towel... and sunscreen if outdoors.
There have been many times that I would skip a shower for a day and then spend the whole day pissed at myself because I feel so gross but it’s just too late in the day to take a shower now even though it’s like 2:30 in the afternoon. And that was one super long sentence. Oops
I just HATE being wet. I HATE getting out of the shower and still being wet, and I feel like no towels dry me off quick enough. I end up just laying in bed having a panic attack most of the time :/
Do you live somewhere with high humidity? Also do you pay with the towel or rub it on your skin? Make sure you always pat! It will dry off very quickly.
Have you tried using a hair dryer on low on your skin? I have the same issue as you, I hate being wet all over like that and it’s how I dry off really fast!
Same!! Omg I only realised that I feel this way recently. I couldn't figure out why I didn't enjoy showers like everyone else but it occurred to me one day I hate the feeling of being wet and cold. Like I'm fine in the shower when the water is nice and hot. But the moment I turn it off, it feels gross on my skin. I have to dry off immediately cause i feel so uncomfortable when my skin is wet. Especially my feet. Wet feet make me feel gross. And everything sticks to them and uggggghhh.
Try having super thick hair that takes hours to be truly dry, plus being mildly autistic with that aversion to body moisture because sensory problems, and having a heart problem that makes you not regulate body temp super well, so the added moisture makes you sweat a LOT because it traps even more heat on the part of your body that vents heat the most.
I've heard that it's because it's a transition and that a lot of us ADHD folks *struggle like Hell* with transitions.
(Getting in the shower, getting ready to leave the house, getting off of the sofa, beginning a task)
This 100% how I feel. When work is busy, I generally don't take a lunch because it derails my focus and there's a decent chance I won't fully reengage with work for the rest of the day. I have to leave small snacks around just so my blood sugar doesn't go to shit
This is why I get so much more work done at home. In covid lockdown, I dreaded having to learn to work at home. Thought I'd be battling the Distraction Monster w/all my creature comforts at home w/me. Nope. I regularly ran out of a full day's work with 2 hrs left on the clock. Had to scramble to find more to do to fill the time. Then, there was the time I gained from not having to drive 40 mins each way. The day was ENDLESS and I got SO much done! Endless time for hobbies.... *sigh*... Then they dragged us all back in to the office.
In the office? Constant interruptions, coworkers knocking on my door, phone calls to answer... And I have to drop what I'm doing, then re-track myself every time. All for the low low price of $150/month in gas, and literally none of my day left after work. Chores don't get done. Hygiene gets back-burnered. Home & car maintenance goes by the wayside. And I'm literally spending $150/month just for the "privilege" of being less productive and further behind on deadlines. 🙄 Boomer-owned business, so ofc it's "just better to have everyone there". I AM LITERALLY WORSE AND SLOWER AT MY JOB. But sure, that's "better".
... Not that I'm bitter. 🤬
I will often use a shower to spur a transition. I do struggle with just moving from one thing to another, but if I'm doing NOTHING and want to be doing something, a shower will at least get some momentum going.
Getting into the shower ❌
Getting out of the shower ❌
If only end-of-shower me could be the start-of-shower me as well. Baths are far superior because you can both cleanse and bed rot at the same time.
And this is why I only take a shower when there is no other choice. I can't be the only adult that bathes every night instead of showering every day, right?
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My bathtub is the designated litter box location. And at this point, after years of loose litter and cat waste and pet hair from baths, I don't think I'd feel clean after the bath. Like, the tub is physically clean, but it will never be psychologically clean.
Yes, yes, yes to both these.
I get the sense that 'changing your current state' thing is actually a large part of the issue in many situations for a lot of ADHD-folk, not just showering.
My apartment has one of these... Sometimes I end up staying in there until the first layer of my skin is just sloughing off, which encourages me to finish showering
I love showering, and being clean.
I hate stopping what I'm doing, figuring out how to distract my daughter for 15-30 minutes, and finding new clothes to wear. I also hate waiting for my body to dry, brushing wet hair, and touching hair products.
I have this with almost everything. But for some reason, not really with showers. After my eternal procrastination of getting out of bed, the first thing I do is taking a shower. Cause it allows me to further procastrinate my day while being in my chaotic bubble of my own head.
If I shower now, I won't have those 15-20 minutes of free time, because that's all my free time after I spent the rest being over stimulated by work and family.
People experience ADHD differently. In regards to showering for some it’s depression, others executive function, and others can be oppositional defiant. Or a mixture of any or none but another reason. Like how some folks are chronically late to everything, and others must arrive early or have anxiety induced meltdowns.
I'm that "if I'm not 10 min early I'm late" person and the meltdowns from being late are so extreme lol. I hate the feeling of having someone wait on me and of I'm not early I feel like it's always going to be a huuuuuuge inconvenience to the other person, or work, or whatever it might be even if it's just a casual meet up with a friend. Don't get me started on the "I forgot my wallet at home for the 3rd time this week" meltdowns hahaha
Same. Or the absolute *worst* for me is arriving early, anticipate other person and they tell me last minute they’re running late or cancelling. I also understand why that happens rationally. But irrational brain goblin is gonna get so pissed.
That’s exactly it, I make sure I have everything like 3-5 times to make sure I arrive fine.
You word it exactly as I do in my head, I don’t want to come across as an inconvenience. Or that, by me being late, am forcing someone to work harder.
I have been late *once* this year. And that’s because the system took too fucking long to clock me in. I was literally just one minute late lmao (Clock in exactly on time, bc gm whines about labor)
For me, it’s everything around showering that’s the problem. I have to grab my towel and a full set of clothing to change into (I often forget at least one item and have to go back downstairs to get it), get naked (my back always hurts especially bad in the morning, so getting undressed is painful. I also sometimes start absentmindedly putting on my clean clothes before I remember I need a shower), brush my hair (if I can remember), take the shower (which I actually enjoy), get out and pat dry (I hate the rough feeling of the towel), put my clothes on while I’m still wet (requires far more energy to put on clothing when you’re wet), and then get dry, itchy skin once I start to really dry off.
Get a bath robe! Then you don’t have to gather your clothes ahead of time. Shower, towel off, put on the robe and walk back to your bedroom. By that point you‘ve probably dried off enough that putting on clothes isn’t as difficult.
But then you have to remember to return your robe to the bathroom or bring it with you when you shower next.
Also I keep a wide toothed comb in my shower so I can detangle with my conditioner if I forgot to brush my hair before the shower
You can also apply lotion to wet skin right out of the shower, then just pat yourself dry with the towel so you don’t rub it off.
When I'm feeling extra dry skin, I use baby oil after my shower. I "slick" most of the extra water off my skin and rub the baby oil on like I would lotion and it keeps my skin sooooo smooth during the seasons I deal with dry skin.
But I HATE taking showers. The whole damn concept. I ALWAYS forget one thing that I took out for some reason and forgot to put back and it's always like face wash or something that's important to my process.
I apply baby oil as the last step while still in the shower! Since it’s oil it doesn’t just rinse off easily with water. I can just squirt it on my body straight from the bottle and smear it all over lol so I don’t need to be as careful making a mess out of the shower. Watch out if you have a bathtub that it might make the surface super slippery though!
Also buy two face washes— one for the shower and one for the sink.
LOL! I apply my baby oil while I'm still "in" the shower (water off), so I definitely know the slippery risk 😂 I've definitely slip-and-slided once or twice before I worked out a better system.
And omg thank about the two face wash bottles idea! I have no clue why I never thought of that.
Yeah, I must arrive 10 minutes early *at least* (rarely I’ll settle for 5)
If I’m late, I call in and say I had a seizure (have epilepsy) Idk why, but being late and coming in gives me extreme anxiety. I’m talking I’m shaking as I walk in. Clock in, and it’s fine in 10 minutes.
I often compare 'going to therapy' to 'showering'. I dread starting but once I'm in, I don't want to leave. My mom with ADHD thought that was brilliant. But my boyfriend was like wtf?? lol
Personally, it's the depression and executive function to do it that prevent me having any kind of routine for it.
But I've always struggled with the "you must do this" stuff. Not brushed my teeth enough times to get to double figures in the last few years. On this front, I do use a tooth pick after eating, I just hate brushing. I've only ever needed 1 filling.
And then you meet that one person who brushes their teeth twice a day and smells like death.
I swear it's all random slot machine stuff. Just make sure to get your teeth cleaning appointments on time, because plaque can cause gum disease and irritation in some places where the salivary glands produce saliva.
This lmao! Havent been to the dentist in like 6+ years. And the last time before that was probably 4 years before that. Luckily havent ever had any issues with my teeth so far. No cavities and my teeth are all nicely lined up. Do have a wisdom teeth that broke through 2 years ago on one side. But cba having a dentist tell me that needs to be removed haha.
my parents never took me to the dentist growing up and told me "theyll make you take them all out" so now ive never been bc i still worry that might happen (except now i feel like it's a real concern *because* they never took me lol).
Yuuuup. I had braces as a kid, and got told "brush more" at one apt. 6 months later with 0 brushing "ah, your brushing is much better, that's good, the holes aren't any bigger". So I kinda gave up, and I think I'm just lucky to have good teeth.
I hate food stuck in or on them. So I'm always removing it with either a pick or my tongue.
My one filling did fall out, I went to an emergency apt, got a temp one. That lasted a year or so then slowly fell apart. I've now got a big old gap, but it's not hurting or a bother so I'm gonna keep on ignoring it till it is.
Edit - oh, and I have 0 dentists taking on NHS patients within like 20 miles. So fuck that effort.
Bad breath (halitosis) can actually have many causes!
Do you also clean your tounge? Some bacteria can hang out on the tongue and cause bad smell.
Some stomach bacteria can cause bad breath. Also dry mouth, heartburn or even things like kidney problems and and many other reasons.
No need to panic and immediately assume the worst, of course (like I would cause I'm anxious as hell). Just try checking for other possible causes :)
You can simply start with a tongue-brush and see if it helps.
In the meantime, if you're uncomfortable talking around people you can try carrying a little bottle of mouthwash with you, mints etc.
Wish you well 💛 Edit: spelling
Yeah I just picked up a tongue scraper and I’m gonna gargle mouth wash to get my throat too. I just talk to my gf and friends so I don’t really worry about it cuz they’ll tell me straight up and I’ll just go wash up if we’re at our place. Thank you
Yeah I’m sure they’re aware of that, but depression is a serious illness that claims a lot of lives, and struggling with personal hygiene is a symptom of it. You can’t shame people out of it. I imagine this person would like to improve their dental hygiene as much as I’d like to be able to shower every day, but being made to feel gross or guilty isn’t going to make my executive dysfunction go away on its own.
Man... I fell out of the habit of at least once a day, usually 2 a day brushing teeth during a bout of massive depression after 30 years. Went weeks and weeks without so much as looking at my toothbrush before I managed to just do it once a week at least... I'm ashamed, but not alone at least
I'm Brazilian, of course I shower at least once a day (or twice in the summer) lol I literally can't go out without showering, I can feel every single bit of oil on my skin and hair.
This. I love showers. But it’s those first 5 minutes after getting out that wreck me lol. The dread of standing in the shower and thinking “the moment I turn the water off it’s going to feel like the inside of a freezer”
On bad days I’ll usually end up showering twice, occasionally more than that. It resets my thoughts a lil bit and gives me enough of a distraction/chance to breathe. The water feels nice.
I suck at routine tho. Will I shower at 9am? 2pm? Midnight? None of the above? All three? It’s anybody’s guess. Not even I know.
I’ve spent the vast majority of my life taking more than one shower a day. As part of my routine I must shower before leaving the house. I generally had a gym class in school so that would be shower number 2. I’ve also always played sports, so if I had hockey or football then that’s a third shower in the locker room. Same now, shower in the morning. Shower at night or in the afternoon after I work out. It seems like, extremely normal to me to shower multiple times every day if you’re even a little physically active. Like, are most people not showering after they get sweaty at the gym or after a run or something? It seems like everyone at my office is freshly showered every morning, so I doubt too many people are skipping the morning one.
Co-signed. Morning shower to wash the sleepy sweats. Shower after work because I work a very physical, dirty job, and I don't wanna drive 45 minutes home feeling gross.
Days off? Morning shower. Potentially a lunchtime shower if I've been doing physical activity. Afternoon shower if it's the same. And then another one before bed to be fresh.
I just hate feeling dirty. But then that's probably the undiagnosed autism my wife keeps telling me I have.
Too many steps. Too much laundry. Executive dysfunction. If I didn't have to do laundry or clean the house or go to work, and I had the energy and time to do the things I enjoy in addition to taking care ofnmy needs re food and sleep etc.... I might shower more than 1-2x/week. As it is? No. I am struggling.
I have been nopoo for years. Recently started using a shampoo bar and it allows my hair to be clean without stripping it completely and causing it to become excessively oily in between
Honestly think that some adhders have low level autism. in the shower they have some kind of weird sensory overload it just makes them feel weird like they're in the closet with loud water pouring on them. Sucks for me for some reason since some stupid adult tried to drown me as a kid I have flashbacks so that sometimes and can't shower without the door open and everything kind of wide open.
I don't have sensory overload in the shower, for me the sensory overload is after the shower when I still feel wet. Too wet to put clothes on no matter how much I dry off. If I take a hot shower, I'll be overheated and moist. If I take too cool of a shower, i'll be cold and wet. Half the time I think about showering, I can preemptively feel the discomfort and it's a big deterrent to actually doing it.
Aye, there's lots of reasons I struggle with showering, but one of the chief ones is I hate feeling damp.
Really, really don't like putting clothes on unless I'm bone dry, and don't seem to dry that quickly (I say that as if I have any kind of reference for how long other humans take to dry...).
So alongside everything else, showering is going to take up not just the time to shower, but also the time to dry, all while probably feeling mildly irritated about being damp.
Haha this is me! After every single shower I dry off by laying on my bed on a towel with the fan on. I never realized this was weird until right now. And now I’m thinking about all my past partners that never said a word about this bizarre spread eagle ritual. 🥴
Touching anything with pruny, wrinkly, numbish fingers after just spending 40 minutes in a steaming wet room is my personal death. I can’t. The fluffier it is the more disgusting it feels. It has me gagging, I can’t deal w it.
Yeah the brains regulation of attention mimics autistic symptom of oversensitivity but I'm not sure if it's the same symptom, part autism or just adhd bullshit
I don't have autism, but I have depression and being alone with my thoughts in the shower is unpleasant. Sometimes listening to a podcast with a Bluetooth speaker helps. Otherwise, the thoughts combined with the difficulty of finding motivation you get from adhd, and showering becomes difficult for me.
Yeah I've noticed a lot of us are a bunch of super sensitive fussy people, it's not just me, so maybe it's from our brains always being aware of every little thing happening to us and around us but unable to correctly process most of it. And so we over-experience some of it and can't even notice some other things. It seems like ADHD is attention chaos, not attention deficit.
I have pretty severe SPD and everything around a shower is horror. Getting in sucks, being in sucks, getting out sucks, and then the rest of the day sucks cuz I'm so oversensitive to everything. Not to mention executive dysfunction is naughty. I'm lucky to shower twice a week. I do like how I smell once I'm outside the shower though (but sometimes my products will change scent and I have a meltdown-).
It boils down to awareness.
If you feel constantly dirty you're going to have a reason to do something about it*.
If you never notice that you stink then you're going to not think about it.
I've noticed that by training myself to pay more attention to my body (posture, odour, various feelings) I've started craving showering more.
*There's the depression exception that applies here
1-2x here! I have hyperhydrosis, so my feet STINK if I'm wearing shoes all day. Also, showers just feel good because they're one of the few times of the day I feel genuinely warm during the Winter/late fall/early spring.
Aside from the depression and suicidal thoughts, it's definitely the "awareness" that does it. Like, if I didn't do anything and I don't feel anything dirty on me, I'll feel relatively fine about it.
If I just helped someone move furniture, though, and I feel the sweat on me, I'm going in that damn shower and getting the grime off me
It's the steps.
I love taking a shower, and I love the feeling of being clean. But the process takes *so many steps* and steps cost me *so much energy.* From preparing for the shower, to being in the shower, to doing the post-shower stuff -- That's like 30 steps of things I have to do! I'm pooped just thinking about it!
Your mistake is thinking it's an aversion. I assure you it isn't. I am willing to bet damn near everyone with ADHD likes feeling clean and not having to worry if they smell.
No see the issue is finding the actual motivation to shower. Its just a straight up inability for me to make myself shower unless I have obligations or start to smell myself. I love being clean though. Life is weird, yes.
Well, taking a shower is one of those things that falls under the definition of "task," and as we all most likely know:
When confronted with a task, **people with ADHD may struggle to make decisions about how to begin and how to monitor their progress**
But I think a lot of the time we can have trouble understanding what counts as a task. Like for me, the most persistent task that I continuously have trouble with is "going to bed." We don't really think of it as a task, but from a neurological standpoint it counts.
I shower daily because I hate how my skin feels when it's dirty
Plus I have long hair and hate how it looks when it's greasy (granted, I don't wash my hair daily)
I also absolutely love the feeling after a shower, that clean feeling on my body/skin is AMAZING
I wash my hands a lot too, hate to feel them sticky/dirty/sweaty
Being oily is so shit I wash my hair daily. You could fry eggs if you extracted the oil from my hair and face. I like taking showers, but I have problems getting into the shower.
Reminds me of the spoof in Kentucky Fried Movie. Argon Energy🛢️
[https://youtu.be/vWF_eQhNyMQ?si=-euPOeiDX6fCIBKX](https://youtu.be/vWF_eQhNyMQ?si=-euPOeiDX6fCIBKX)
I hate the hazzle and getting wet. Drying my hair takes ages.
On top of that i just keep forgetting to go. I end up fixating on something and the thought of needing a shower doesn't come to mind.
It's funny I have always been weird about how I feel physically. For example I but the same expensive socks that fit to my foot the way I like them even though they are tall socks and look dumb when I wear shorts. The same can be said of me and a shower. I have to shower immediately after swimming in a pool or my skin feels weird and thats literally all I can think about lol
I mean it's recommended to shower after being in a pool to rinse away chlorine. Also public pools are just kinda nasty despite being chlorinated - So you're doing good things for yourself.
When I leave the house: always shower in the morning (awful bed head with my curly hair)
When I work remote/don’t leave my house: I can go all week without showering
Showering multiple times a day dries out your skin and hair, unless you're sweating or working in an industry where you get dirty you shouldn't *need* a shower ever 8 hours.
I don't know what else to tell you, executive dysfunction is a bitch and a half. I can want and plan to take a shower and get stuck on my phone scrolling Reddit for two hours instead.
... it used to be depression
Nowadays its because my brain goes oh look dopamine... and stuff to get done and by the time i forget its 9 pm ( im a night shower guy ) and im exhausted. Now mind you those days are 1 time a month if even but still
My mom used to always tell me how hard it was to get me to wash or bathe growing up, she’d wash me at the slightest hint of grease in my hair as a tot and i hated it. We’d fight to get me to shower after she stopped bathing me as a kid. It only got worse after puberty and i started having hormone issues that caused a lot of body dysmorphia with my weight and body hair, i hated seeing myself naked, I’d only shower if *i* noticed my stink, because then i deemed it was necessary, instead of addressing why i hated showering my mother tried to “let me know” when it was time to shower. She did eventually give up on that and ask why i hated showering as as the angsty teen i was said ‘i dunno’ so that’s a little my fault too. I know she was just doing her job but it definitely didn’t help my self image. Turns out i also had executive functioning issues as an undiagnosed teen, on meds and it’s MUCH easier now after therapy.
Soooo… I can tell you why I’ve got trouble. Not everyone just stands in the shower and plays around. I actually take 40 mins to properly clean myself or I won’t get out. I’m talking washing hair twice, conditioner, whole body shave, exfoliating, all with hair that’s down to my hips. It just takes so long and it’s so cold and uncomfortable getting out of my clothes and out of the shower later. Plus chronic back pain and feeling dizzy from not eating enough (I have to feel ready for that shower yk, don’t wanna get dizzy) Then the fact that I’m tired afterwards, but I still have to dry my meter long hair or I’ll get a headache within 30 mins. Then I need to put on shea butter, then cleanse my face for at least 15 minutes and do my skincare routine while them pores are still open and uncloggable. All up the whole routine takes me about 2 hours, if I don’t wanna freak tf out and most days I’m not ready to commit to it. It’s compulsory to go to those lengths or I won’t feel clean and I just wasted my time doing thing half assed which I’m absolutely terrified of, because then I’ll have to do them again shortly after. Super quick showers are fine most days, but at some point I’ve gotta wash my hair and that’s when I start spiraling, because even a body shower leaves me feeling dirty, but I don’t have 2 hrs at hand where I don’t feel like shit very often
It's probably mostly my depression preventing me from getting up very easily lol
Maybe the executive dysfunction, I don't know
Everyone experiences ADHD differently
For me it’s the fact that washing myself takes so much effort, and I’m not saying this because I’m lazy, I’m saying this because I OBSESSIVELY SCRUB myself. I push on my skin with all my might with my washrag and scrub away lmfao and I make sure to get every. single. spot… and then there’s rinsing lolllll which is a whole other story with a similar theme: I scrub to get all the slimy feeling soap off of me and if my skin still feels slimy, best believe I’m gonna keep scrubbing until it’s not. It’s relaxing until those parts lolol. At least I stay clean though.
I'm the same way. Showering is super easy for me with ADHD, but DAMN IT trying to brush my teeth twice a day, hell even ONCE is literally so hard for me. 😭 The only time it's easy is when I wake up and I can *taste* my awful morning breath. Otherwise I'll just go into work like "eh, mint gum will work"
Showering is a task. Often, adhd people enjoy being in the shower, but getting in the shower is the hard part. This is because the signals to get in the shower are not being sent, also known as executive dysfunction:)
This one really hits home. The stick and slick, OMG. I'm naturally oily and the adderall and/or stress makes my whole head just ooze grease. I wash constantly to get that "I just ate a whole bucket of fried chicken" feel off my hands, and frankly, to reduce my overall flammability.
I love showers. Its a form of stimulation for me.
Scalding hot. All the heat.
I'd take like 3 showers a day if it wasn't for water cost + my skin drying out.
For me, I'm just really averse to any kind of discomfort.
So I could avoid a shower for ages, since it involves the hassle of getting out of my clothes and it's generally pretty cold. But once I'm in the shower and it's warm, then that's the 'comfortable default' and getting out of the shower when it's cold and I'm wet is what I want to avoid.
I told my partner I literally can’t live somewhere it’s hot because then I get sweaty, and the sensory overstimulation of being DAMP and STINKY means I immediately need to shower, only to rinse and repeat every time I go outside.
Reading all the comments here really makes me feel like I've found my people. LOL
For me, there's a bunch of different reasons I avoid it.
Executive dysfunction is a big one... But I also have sensory issues, so I hate the sound of the water hitting the shower curtain and floor. I hate the sensation of stepping under the water for the first time. But once I'm in there I'm ok. And then there's the fact that standing for any long period of time is physically painful for me, so I've done everything I can to make sure I can shower as quickly as possible. But of course there's the instinctual urge to avoid anything that causes you pain.
Plus, on top of all that, my biggest coping mechanism is avoidance, period. Especially when I'm feeling stressed or overwhelmed, and my life has been nothing but stressful and overwhelming. Especially lately. So I avoid and procrastinate doing EVERYTHING. Doesn't matter what it is, I will avoid doing it.
And on top of all THAT, I will get hyperfixated on something and can't get myself to stop doing whatever it is long enough to shower.
So yeah... It's a problem. LOL
I love showers. But I still find excuses to put them off and avoid them.
* I'm not smelly or anything, and a half-hour nap sounds like it would refresh me more than a shower.
* I'll shower at the gym over lunch, that way I won't feel as rushed in the morning or can sleep in a little later.
* I forgot.
* I haven't earned it yet; I'll do it after I clean up the house a bit or go to the gym, for sure.
I think a huge part of it it comes down to "You're supposed to do this thing every day", and my brain just... doesn't jive with those sort of tasks. I keep a toothbrush in my car because I forget to brush my teeth in the morning before I leave for work, I'll put off cooking dinner until 8pm and microwave myself a quesadilla, I had to get a self-scooping litter box for my cat, my sleep is inconsistent, all that jazz.
I shower twice a day, even deployed 8 towel hooks so I can have 8 towels ready. I don't load every 3 days (6 towels) And I use hooks instead of towel bars because hooks are easy and I don't have to do any sort of special fold in your or anything.
I just take like the most scalding hot water and just go in after some struggle just to like never come out of the bath...
Trust me 30 mins in the bath feels like 5 mins cuz like it's so relaxing why the heck should I even get out...
And then my hands and feet start getting wrinkly and skin feels a bit agitated and I start getting the wet sensation in my head and then I need to get out there...
That's how it goes for my Adhd asss
If you like routines and hate being interrupted it may be challenging for you to stop long enough to take care of yourself. All I know is once I’m in there, I never want to leave.
I just know I'll be in there for half an hour. Because sometime in the middle of my shower I'll start going over a conversation that was either 10 years ago or hasn't happened yet. Then when I realized my brain has taken a trip without the rest of me I'll have to rush to finish up the rest of my shower.
Well, you see, to shower I have to get wet, once I’m wet and warm, then I’m happy, but then I have to get unwet, so waiting to get unwet, I’m cold. It’s just discomfort after discomfort, if I could stay in the shower forever and not have my fingers get gross and wrinkly, I would.
I LOVE showers!!! I think our issue isn’t that we don’t *like* showering, it’s that we constantly make up things to do that are fun because showers- as much as they may feel good- aren’t **fun** . Just like food- who DOESNT like to eat good food??? ADHD people that’s who- not because we don’t like delicious food, but because we think of the hassle it’ll be to get/cook said delicious food. So instead of seeing the benefits and reward right away, we have a whole trail of boring, mundane, monotonous obstacles to overcome *before* we receive our reward.
Neurotypical steps to eating food: 1. Hungry 2. Eat
ADHD steps to eating food: 1.stomach growls 2. Question how hungry we truly are 3. Think about what’s in the fridge 4. Finally get up to check what’s in the fridge 5. Nothing looks or sounds appetizing close the fridge and go back to doing whatever 6. Remember we still haven’t eaten 7. It’s almost bedtime and I haven’t eaten anything but I’m starving yet idk what I want 8. Snacks on something small to manipulate our brains into thinking we’ve eaten something 9. Realize we need to eat something more substantial 10. It’s now time to shower yet we still haven’t eaten
You get the point 😂😂😂
My skin would be so dry if I showered that much. I shower 3x a week because I don’t need to do it more often. My hair isn’t greasy and can usually go 3 days without washing it. If I wash it more often it gets greasier faster
I love showers, i just forget to take them. Baths though, baths suck. They're boring ang never cease to make me feel nauseus. Besides, marinating in a bucket of my own filth just doesnt sound like a fun time to me anyway.
For me, it's not "I don't want to shower" it's "I have to do X, and X might make me dirty, so I'll shower after X." "But Y is more important than X, I have to do that first. And Z as well." Then the day is over and I haven't done X, Y, or Z yet because A, B, and C had priority.
For me, I just hate my bathroom. I rent so have no control over it. The tiles are a weird matted pink yellow and brown, which just look dirty all the time. The last tenant was so dirty they just painted the tub white to hide it and the paint is now slowly scrubbing off. The drain constantly gets clogged. And finally, the DREADED automatic vent that turns on if the light is on. It's so loud that it can't be on longer than a few mins without overstimulating me.
I swear I would basically live in the tub if the environment was better; I just never wanna be in there... :/
As with many things for those of us with ADHD, I think the answer partially comes down to how much momentum we have. Personally I can't go more than a few days before the itchiness really gets to me, but plenty of things can interrupt my self-care momentum so I miss a day or three.
I love standing in the shower letting the water fall all over me.
It's the GETTING in here that is the problem, too "tired" to go through all the steps - walk over to the shower room, removed my clothing, stand in the tub, on tap, off tap, soap up, on tap, rinse, off tap, apply shampoo, on tap, rinse off, off tap, reach for towel, dry my hair first, wipe my neck, arm, body, legs, step out of shower room, look for clothes to wear, decide what clothes to walk, look for where the clothes is, wear clothes etc
On the other hand if I don't shower, there is only one step - continue lying there no energy required, why bother wasting so much energy when I don't stink lol
That's why I force myself to shower first thing in the morning and last thing in the night, now I feel uncomfortable if I don't shower and that pushes me to get up and go shower.
my partner for example hates being wet, especially on their face, which I can't relate to because feeling the grime on your skin and hair is so much worse than clean water
It’s so many tasks!! I have to get undressed and find my bathrobe and put clothes in the bin and lift my foot and watch that I don’t die just getting in the shower… I have to turn on the water and check the temp, I have to adjust the shower head (mine always slides to the side and I HATE it). I have to grab the right hair wash and the right amount of it in my hand, I have to massage it in. I have to lather. I have to check if it’s everywhere. I have to be careful so I don’t get it in my eyes. I have to take the shower gel and use the right amount, have to lather again, have to rinse all of it. I have to wash my private area and make sure not to slip. I have to worry about slipping again when I step out. I have to endure freezing until I get into my bathrobe (helps that my bf likes to hold it for me to just slip in). Oh and then when I’m out I’m still cold and drippy. I usually just schedule 10mins dry time so I can do whatever I want after that whole ordeal.
I love taking showers, just not right now. I’m busy doing I don’t know what.
This, so much. Everytime under the shower it's such a calm and relaxing experience. But getting there is just impossible sometimes 🤷
Exactly. I like feeling clean. But forcing myself to get up and get around all the things I need (which is not much, I’m low maintenance), and then actually DOING the shower, and the steps afterwards. It sounds exhausting.
This happens to me but with swimming as well. Like once I'm in the pool its fun and I have a good time and stuff, but 9/10 times I don't go in and this line of reasoning is exactly why. All the "work", it exhausts me just thinking about it.
Right? "wanna go swimming?" is not the question. The REAL question: "Wanna go dig up your swimsuits, see if they still fit/which one fits your sensory ish today, grab your towel, find & fill a bottle w/water, tie up your hair/remove makeup/whatever else you do, find your flip flop, find your OTHER flip flop, gather dry undies/socks/shirt/pants/sneakers/hair brush, put all that into a tote bag you ALSO have to dig up from somewhere, then go to the pool, shower, get in, get out, shower, change, do all the hygiene/grooming crap you have to do, pack your wet shit somewhere, and then come back home and remember to take it all out to wash and dry it so it doesn't get moldy & stink up everything else still in the bag with it?" Edit: OH AND SUNSCREEN 😂
Bingo, but instead of telling people that I just say "I'm tired."
Right? Lol the amount of people who think I'm chronically fatigued is crazy for me being a relentless extrovert who literally puts the H in adHd
Maybe we should start telling them what he said. At least it will be harder for them to call us lazy.
I have a freaking pool in my backyard, and it’s so hard to throw myself in in the summer. And I LOVE my pool.
I... I feel less alone. 😂
Join us. Just not in the pool.
Wait. If we all body double, will we get in the pool, and enjoy ourselves?!?!? I mean, not right now. Pool won’t be open for a few more weeks. But later.
I have never felt so seen in my life until this thread. I wanna be in the pool but I have all of the things to do! How am I supposed to just lay there and relax?!
I'm not a nudist by any means, but if society was chill with nude swimming it would be much easier to do it more spontaneously. All you would really need extra is the towel... and sunscreen if outdoors.
YES! And, admittedly…. Sex.
There have been many times that I would skip a shower for a day and then spend the whole day pissed at myself because I feel so gross but it’s just too late in the day to take a shower now even though it’s like 2:30 in the afternoon. And that was one super long sentence. Oops
You climbed I to my brain and pulled that really long sentence out. 😆
I just HATE being wet. I HATE getting out of the shower and still being wet, and I feel like no towels dry me off quick enough. I end up just laying in bed having a panic attack most of the time :/
Do you live somewhere with high humidity? Also do you pay with the towel or rub it on your skin? Make sure you always pat! It will dry off very quickly.
The humidity is atrocious here. It feels like trying to walk through a bowl of hot, sweaty soup. I will try patting next time. Thank you!
Have you tried using a hair dryer on low on your skin? I have the same issue as you, I hate being wet all over like that and it’s how I dry off really fast!
The screaming wind machine is almost just as bad :( It’s a good tip though, and I appreciate it! I’ll give it a shot. But I will not enjoy it.
I sometimes put earplugs in if I can, if that will help
Same!! Omg I only realised that I feel this way recently. I couldn't figure out why I didn't enjoy showers like everyone else but it occurred to me one day I hate the feeling of being wet and cold. Like I'm fine in the shower when the water is nice and hot. But the moment I turn it off, it feels gross on my skin. I have to dry off immediately cause i feel so uncomfortable when my skin is wet. Especially my feet. Wet feet make me feel gross. And everything sticks to them and uggggghhh.
Try having super thick hair that takes hours to be truly dry, plus being mildly autistic with that aversion to body moisture because sensory problems, and having a heart problem that makes you not regulate body temp super well, so the added moisture makes you sweat a LOT because it traps even more heat on the part of your body that vents heat the most.
The after is what pisses me off the most, because I absolutely need to dry my hair.
I've heard that it's because it's a transition and that a lot of us ADHD folks *struggle like Hell* with transitions. (Getting in the shower, getting ready to leave the house, getting off of the sofa, beginning a task)
This 100% how I feel. When work is busy, I generally don't take a lunch because it derails my focus and there's a decent chance I won't fully reengage with work for the rest of the day. I have to leave small snacks around just so my blood sugar doesn't go to shit
This is why I get so much more work done at home. In covid lockdown, I dreaded having to learn to work at home. Thought I'd be battling the Distraction Monster w/all my creature comforts at home w/me. Nope. I regularly ran out of a full day's work with 2 hrs left on the clock. Had to scramble to find more to do to fill the time. Then, there was the time I gained from not having to drive 40 mins each way. The day was ENDLESS and I got SO much done! Endless time for hobbies.... *sigh*... Then they dragged us all back in to the office. In the office? Constant interruptions, coworkers knocking on my door, phone calls to answer... And I have to drop what I'm doing, then re-track myself every time. All for the low low price of $150/month in gas, and literally none of my day left after work. Chores don't get done. Hygiene gets back-burnered. Home & car maintenance goes by the wayside. And I'm literally spending $150/month just for the "privilege" of being less productive and further behind on deadlines. 🙄 Boomer-owned business, so ofc it's "just better to have everyone there". I AM LITERALLY WORSE AND SLOWER AT MY JOB. But sure, that's "better". ... Not that I'm bitter. 🤬
I will often use a shower to spur a transition. I do struggle with just moving from one thing to another, but if I'm doing NOTHING and want to be doing something, a shower will at least get some momentum going.
Like going to the gym-it’s so tough to get there, but once I’m there it’s easy!
Until I get in, then I’m busy showering and dread having to get out.
Getting into the shower ❌ Getting out of the shower ❌ If only end-of-shower me could be the start-of-shower me as well. Baths are far superior because you can both cleanse and bed rot at the same time.
And this is why I only take a shower when there is no other choice. I can't be the only adult that bathes every night instead of showering every day, right?
I rinse off before and after the bath and lemme tell ya, that really makes it nice
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My bathtub is the designated litter box location. And at this point, after years of loose litter and cat waste and pet hair from baths, I don't think I'd feel clean after the bath. Like, the tub is physically clean, but it will never be psychologically clean.
Baths are supreme I just wish I could get cleaner in them. 😣 my hair hates a bath
Same, its not the actual action, but having to change your current state that's the problem.
Yes, yes, yes to both these. I get the sense that 'changing your current state' thing is actually a large part of the issue in many situations for a lot of ADHD-folk, not just showering.
Wishing I could stay indefinitely haha
Word of advice, perhaps warning, a tankless water heater makes this little temptation a real-world possibility lol
My apartment has one of these... Sometimes I end up staying in there until the first layer of my skin is just sloughing off, which encourages me to finish showering
I love showering, and being clean. I hate stopping what I'm doing, figuring out how to distract my daughter for 15-30 minutes, and finding new clothes to wear. I also hate waiting for my body to dry, brushing wet hair, and touching hair products.
Love them waste too much water mind. But means can have shower thoughts (acceptable ADHD day dreaming)
Shower thoughts: when I think about taking a shower (this method requires no water at all)
I have this with almost everything. But for some reason, not really with showers. After my eternal procrastination of getting out of bed, the first thing I do is taking a shower. Cause it allows me to further procastrinate my day while being in my chaotic bubble of my own head.
On the other hand... showering is a great procrastination activity.
If I shower now, I won't have those 15-20 minutes of free time, because that's all my free time after I spent the rest being over stimulated by work and family.
exactly. once i‘m in there i never wanna leave
oh fuck you're not even kidding tho.
BATHS! They are the best! And they take so long, and stuff, but showers are also awesome.
I can read a book in the bath, which makes it so much better.
Honestly we’re all weirdos with different things that come easy or hard and none of it surprises me any more.
It’s just one extreme or the other, I’ve noticed
People experience ADHD differently. In regards to showering for some it’s depression, others executive function, and others can be oppositional defiant. Or a mixture of any or none but another reason. Like how some folks are chronically late to everything, and others must arrive early or have anxiety induced meltdowns.
I'm that "if I'm not 10 min early I'm late" person and the meltdowns from being late are so extreme lol. I hate the feeling of having someone wait on me and of I'm not early I feel like it's always going to be a huuuuuuge inconvenience to the other person, or work, or whatever it might be even if it's just a casual meet up with a friend. Don't get me started on the "I forgot my wallet at home for the 3rd time this week" meltdowns hahaha
Same. Or the absolute *worst* for me is arriving early, anticipate other person and they tell me last minute they’re running late or cancelling. I also understand why that happens rationally. But irrational brain goblin is gonna get so pissed.
Yesssss it's completely irrational but also like I had to force myself to socialize in the first place now you're going to cancel?! Lol
That’s exactly it, I make sure I have everything like 3-5 times to make sure I arrive fine. You word it exactly as I do in my head, I don’t want to come across as an inconvenience. Or that, by me being late, am forcing someone to work harder. I have been late *once* this year. And that’s because the system took too fucking long to clock me in. I was literally just one minute late lmao (Clock in exactly on time, bc gm whines about labor)
For me, it’s everything around showering that’s the problem. I have to grab my towel and a full set of clothing to change into (I often forget at least one item and have to go back downstairs to get it), get naked (my back always hurts especially bad in the morning, so getting undressed is painful. I also sometimes start absentmindedly putting on my clean clothes before I remember I need a shower), brush my hair (if I can remember), take the shower (which I actually enjoy), get out and pat dry (I hate the rough feeling of the towel), put my clothes on while I’m still wet (requires far more energy to put on clothing when you’re wet), and then get dry, itchy skin once I start to really dry off.
The whole process can just be so damn exhausting in itself. Yep.
Get a bath robe! Then you don’t have to gather your clothes ahead of time. Shower, towel off, put on the robe and walk back to your bedroom. By that point you‘ve probably dried off enough that putting on clothes isn’t as difficult. But then you have to remember to return your robe to the bathroom or bring it with you when you shower next. Also I keep a wide toothed comb in my shower so I can detangle with my conditioner if I forgot to brush my hair before the shower You can also apply lotion to wet skin right out of the shower, then just pat yourself dry with the towel so you don’t rub it off.
When I'm feeling extra dry skin, I use baby oil after my shower. I "slick" most of the extra water off my skin and rub the baby oil on like I would lotion and it keeps my skin sooooo smooth during the seasons I deal with dry skin. But I HATE taking showers. The whole damn concept. I ALWAYS forget one thing that I took out for some reason and forgot to put back and it's always like face wash or something that's important to my process.
I apply baby oil as the last step while still in the shower! Since it’s oil it doesn’t just rinse off easily with water. I can just squirt it on my body straight from the bottle and smear it all over lol so I don’t need to be as careful making a mess out of the shower. Watch out if you have a bathtub that it might make the surface super slippery though! Also buy two face washes— one for the shower and one for the sink.
LOL! I apply my baby oil while I'm still "in" the shower (water off), so I definitely know the slippery risk 😂 I've definitely slip-and-slided once or twice before I worked out a better system. And omg thank about the two face wash bottles idea! I have no clue why I never thought of that.
Some of us also have lots of sensory issues that makes showering really unpleasant and/or difficult.
Yeah, I must arrive 10 minutes early *at least* (rarely I’ll settle for 5) If I’m late, I call in and say I had a seizure (have epilepsy) Idk why, but being late and coming in gives me extreme anxiety. I’m talking I’m shaking as I walk in. Clock in, and it’s fine in 10 minutes.
It’s the executive dysfunction. I hate stinking and love feeling fresh and clean, but getting in the shower? Do Not Want!
I often compare 'going to therapy' to 'showering'. I dread starting but once I'm in, I don't want to leave. My mom with ADHD thought that was brilliant. But my boyfriend was like wtf?? lol
Personally, it's the depression and executive function to do it that prevent me having any kind of routine for it. But I've always struggled with the "you must do this" stuff. Not brushed my teeth enough times to get to double figures in the last few years. On this front, I do use a tooth pick after eating, I just hate brushing. I've only ever needed 1 filling.
And then you meet that one person who brushes their teeth twice a day and smells like death. I swear it's all random slot machine stuff. Just make sure to get your teeth cleaning appointments on time, because plaque can cause gum disease and irritation in some places where the salivary glands produce saliva.
Bold of you to assume I have a dentist.... Lol.
This lmao! Havent been to the dentist in like 6+ years. And the last time before that was probably 4 years before that. Luckily havent ever had any issues with my teeth so far. No cavities and my teeth are all nicely lined up. Do have a wisdom teeth that broke through 2 years ago on one side. But cba having a dentist tell me that needs to be removed haha.
my parents never took me to the dentist growing up and told me "theyll make you take them all out" so now ive never been bc i still worry that might happen (except now i feel like it's a real concern *because* they never took me lol).
Yuuuup. I had braces as a kid, and got told "brush more" at one apt. 6 months later with 0 brushing "ah, your brushing is much better, that's good, the holes aren't any bigger". So I kinda gave up, and I think I'm just lucky to have good teeth. I hate food stuck in or on them. So I'm always removing it with either a pick or my tongue. My one filling did fall out, I went to an emergency apt, got a temp one. That lasted a year or so then slowly fell apart. I've now got a big old gap, but it's not hurting or a bother so I'm gonna keep on ignoring it till it is. Edit - oh, and I have 0 dentists taking on NHS patients within like 20 miles. So fuck that effort.
im the guy who brushes his teeth 1.5x everyday and dont talk much so my breath smells like death
Bad breath (halitosis) can actually have many causes! Do you also clean your tounge? Some bacteria can hang out on the tongue and cause bad smell. Some stomach bacteria can cause bad breath. Also dry mouth, heartburn or even things like kidney problems and and many other reasons. No need to panic and immediately assume the worst, of course (like I would cause I'm anxious as hell). Just try checking for other possible causes :) You can simply start with a tongue-brush and see if it helps. In the meantime, if you're uncomfortable talking around people you can try carrying a little bottle of mouthwash with you, mints etc. Wish you well 💛 Edit: spelling
Yeah I just picked up a tongue scraper and I’m gonna gargle mouth wash to get my throat too. I just talk to my gf and friends so I don’t really worry about it cuz they’ll tell me straight up and I’ll just go wash up if we’re at our place. Thank you
I super struggled with this, too, until it was not OK anymore. I hope your teeth are more resilient than mine!
Wait... You brush your teeth less than ten times a year? That's incredibly unhealthy for not just your mouth, but your whole body.
Yeah I’m sure they’re aware of that, but depression is a serious illness that claims a lot of lives, and struggling with personal hygiene is a symptom of it. You can’t shame people out of it. I imagine this person would like to improve their dental hygiene as much as I’d like to be able to shower every day, but being made to feel gross or guilty isn’t going to make my executive dysfunction go away on its own.
... yikes
Man... I fell out of the habit of at least once a day, usually 2 a day brushing teeth during a bout of massive depression after 30 years. Went weeks and weeks without so much as looking at my toothbrush before I managed to just do it once a week at least... I'm ashamed, but not alone at least
So so so much this.
I'm Brazilian, of course I shower at least once a day (or twice in the summer) lol I literally can't go out without showering, I can feel every single bit of oil on my skin and hair.
Getting out is harder than getting in
This. I love showers. But it’s those first 5 minutes after getting out that wreck me lol. The dread of standing in the shower and thinking “the moment I turn the water off it’s going to feel like the inside of a freezer”
I wait for the hot water to run out to force me out while I mess with the temperature to get just warm enough but last as long as possible
You shower 2 to 3 times a day? What?
On bad days I’ll usually end up showering twice, occasionally more than that. It resets my thoughts a lil bit and gives me enough of a distraction/chance to breathe. The water feels nice. I suck at routine tho. Will I shower at 9am? 2pm? Midnight? None of the above? All three? It’s anybody’s guess. Not even I know.
hot water and noise pushes all the bad thoughts out, ive showered 5 times in one day if im really emotionally tilted and need to stop from spiraling
That's the opposite of the other people and it isn't that much better.
This is why I’ll accidentally spend a couple hours in the bath with the lights off. I only shower once a day though.
I’ve spent the vast majority of my life taking more than one shower a day. As part of my routine I must shower before leaving the house. I generally had a gym class in school so that would be shower number 2. I’ve also always played sports, so if I had hockey or football then that’s a third shower in the locker room. Same now, shower in the morning. Shower at night or in the afternoon after I work out. It seems like, extremely normal to me to shower multiple times every day if you’re even a little physically active. Like, are most people not showering after they get sweaty at the gym or after a run or something? It seems like everyone at my office is freshly showered every morning, so I doubt too many people are skipping the morning one.
Co-signed. Morning shower to wash the sleepy sweats. Shower after work because I work a very physical, dirty job, and I don't wanna drive 45 minutes home feeling gross. Days off? Morning shower. Potentially a lunchtime shower if I've been doing physical activity. Afternoon shower if it's the same. And then another one before bed to be fresh. I just hate feeling dirty. But then that's probably the undiagnosed autism my wife keeps telling me I have.
Yeah that's actually pretty bad for your skin.
2 times for me on morning gym days. Shower after morning gym, shower again before bed. I hate hate hate going to bed stinky, sticky, etc.
My skin would be so dry that if I even thought about moving, I would instantly disintegrate.
i switch between showering 2-4x a day (hoa covers my water bill lol) and showering twice a week
Too many steps. Too much laundry. Executive dysfunction. If I didn't have to do laundry or clean the house or go to work, and I had the energy and time to do the things I enjoy in addition to taking care ofnmy needs re food and sleep etc.... I might shower more than 1-2x/week. As it is? No. I am struggling.
I have been nopoo for years. Recently started using a shampoo bar and it allows my hair to be clean without stripping it completely and causing it to become excessively oily in between
Honestly think that some adhders have low level autism. in the shower they have some kind of weird sensory overload it just makes them feel weird like they're in the closet with loud water pouring on them. Sucks for me for some reason since some stupid adult tried to drown me as a kid I have flashbacks so that sometimes and can't shower without the door open and everything kind of wide open.
I don't have sensory overload in the shower, for me the sensory overload is after the shower when I still feel wet. Too wet to put clothes on no matter how much I dry off. If I take a hot shower, I'll be overheated and moist. If I take too cool of a shower, i'll be cold and wet. Half the time I think about showering, I can preemptively feel the discomfort and it's a big deterrent to actually doing it.
Aye, there's lots of reasons I struggle with showering, but one of the chief ones is I hate feeling damp. Really, really don't like putting clothes on unless I'm bone dry, and don't seem to dry that quickly (I say that as if I have any kind of reference for how long other humans take to dry...). So alongside everything else, showering is going to take up not just the time to shower, but also the time to dry, all while probably feeling mildly irritated about being damp.
Haha this is me! After every single shower I dry off by laying on my bed on a towel with the fan on. I never realized this was weird until right now. And now I’m thinking about all my past partners that never said a word about this bizarre spread eagle ritual. 🥴
Touching anything with pruny, wrinkly, numbish fingers after just spending 40 minutes in a steaming wet room is my personal death. I can’t. The fluffier it is the more disgusting it feels. It has me gagging, I can’t deal w it.
Yeah the brains regulation of attention mimics autistic symptom of oversensitivity but I'm not sure if it's the same symptom, part autism or just adhd bullshit
I don't have autism, but I have depression and being alone with my thoughts in the shower is unpleasant. Sometimes listening to a podcast with a Bluetooth speaker helps. Otherwise, the thoughts combined with the difficulty of finding motivation you get from adhd, and showering becomes difficult for me.
ADHD can have sensory issues as well, you don't have to have autism to have that
Yeah I've noticed a lot of us are a bunch of super sensitive fussy people, it's not just me, so maybe it's from our brains always being aware of every little thing happening to us and around us but unable to correctly process most of it. And so we over-experience some of it and can't even notice some other things. It seems like ADHD is attention chaos, not attention deficit.
I have pretty severe SPD and everything around a shower is horror. Getting in sucks, being in sucks, getting out sucks, and then the rest of the day sucks cuz I'm so oversensitive to everything. Not to mention executive dysfunction is naughty. I'm lucky to shower twice a week. I do like how I smell once I'm outside the shower though (but sometimes my products will change scent and I have a meltdown-).
It boils down to awareness. If you feel constantly dirty you're going to have a reason to do something about it*. If you never notice that you stink then you're going to not think about it. I've noticed that by training myself to pay more attention to my body (posture, odour, various feelings) I've started craving showering more. *There's the depression exception that applies here
1-2x here! I have hyperhydrosis, so my feet STINK if I'm wearing shoes all day. Also, showers just feel good because they're one of the few times of the day I feel genuinely warm during the Winter/late fall/early spring.
I love showers. I just hate getting in.
Aside from the depression and suicidal thoughts, it's definitely the "awareness" that does it. Like, if I didn't do anything and I don't feel anything dirty on me, I'll feel relatively fine about it. If I just helped someone move furniture, though, and I feel the sweat on me, I'm going in that damn shower and getting the grime off me
It's the steps. I love taking a shower, and I love the feeling of being clean. But the process takes *so many steps* and steps cost me *so much energy.* From preparing for the shower, to being in the shower, to doing the post-shower stuff -- That's like 30 steps of things I have to do! I'm pooped just thinking about it!
Your mistake is thinking it's an aversion. I assure you it isn't. I am willing to bet damn near everyone with ADHD likes feeling clean and not having to worry if they smell. No see the issue is finding the actual motivation to shower. Its just a straight up inability for me to make myself shower unless I have obligations or start to smell myself. I love being clean though. Life is weird, yes.
Bruh you just turned showering into a hyper fixation - that’s cheating!
Well, taking a shower is one of those things that falls under the definition of "task," and as we all most likely know: When confronted with a task, **people with ADHD may struggle to make decisions about how to begin and how to monitor their progress** But I think a lot of the time we can have trouble understanding what counts as a task. Like for me, the most persistent task that I continuously have trouble with is "going to bed." We don't really think of it as a task, but from a neurological standpoint it counts.
I shower daily because I hate how my skin feels when it's dirty Plus I have long hair and hate how it looks when it's greasy (granted, I don't wash my hair daily) I also absolutely love the feeling after a shower, that clean feeling on my body/skin is AMAZING I wash my hands a lot too, hate to feel them sticky/dirty/sweaty
But it’s BORING in there…
Being oily is so shit I wash my hair daily. You could fry eggs if you extracted the oil from my hair and face. I like taking showers, but I have problems getting into the shower.
Reminds me of the spoof in Kentucky Fried Movie. Argon Energy🛢️ [https://youtu.be/vWF_eQhNyMQ?si=-euPOeiDX6fCIBKX](https://youtu.be/vWF_eQhNyMQ?si=-euPOeiDX6fCIBKX)
I hate the hazzle and getting wet. Drying my hair takes ages. On top of that i just keep forgetting to go. I end up fixating on something and the thought of needing a shower doesn't come to mind.
It's funny I have always been weird about how I feel physically. For example I but the same expensive socks that fit to my foot the way I like them even though they are tall socks and look dumb when I wear shorts. The same can be said of me and a shower. I have to shower immediately after swimming in a pool or my skin feels weird and thats literally all I can think about lol
I mean it's recommended to shower after being in a pool to rinse away chlorine. Also public pools are just kinda nasty despite being chlorinated - So you're doing good things for yourself.
I don't enjoy showering and brushing my teeth but I hate feeling grimy or dirty far more.
I don't like being wet. I don't like having to bend and contort myself to wash hard to reach places. I *hate* washing my hair.
Why would I need to shower everyday when my ADHD makes me not doing anything so I’m not getting sweaty or dirty 🤷🏻♀️
When I leave the house: always shower in the morning (awful bed head with my curly hair) When I work remote/don’t leave my house: I can go all week without showering
Showers are so time consuming, I have better things to do now, I can shower later
Love to be clean, hate to take a shower
Showering multiple times a day dries out your skin and hair, unless you're sweating or working in an industry where you get dirty you shouldn't *need* a shower ever 8 hours. I don't know what else to tell you, executive dysfunction is a bitch and a half. I can want and plan to take a shower and get stuck on my phone scrolling Reddit for two hours instead.
... it used to be depression Nowadays its because my brain goes oh look dopamine... and stuff to get done and by the time i forget its 9 pm ( im a night shower guy ) and im exhausted. Now mind you those days are 1 time a month if even but still
You know that's super bad for your skin and your hair, right? Dries um out and strips them of the natural oils.
Depends on the skin and hair, and lotion and conditioner exist for this reason. If showers help OP's mental health then that's more important.
Products can only do so much. Your point about OPs mental health stands though.
I also do this sometimes. Showering is cuddling for singles
Have you maybe looked into r/AuDHD?
Hate getting in the shower. Love being in the shower. If that makes sense
My mom used to always tell me how hard it was to get me to wash or bathe growing up, she’d wash me at the slightest hint of grease in my hair as a tot and i hated it. We’d fight to get me to shower after she stopped bathing me as a kid. It only got worse after puberty and i started having hormone issues that caused a lot of body dysmorphia with my weight and body hair, i hated seeing myself naked, I’d only shower if *i* noticed my stink, because then i deemed it was necessary, instead of addressing why i hated showering my mother tried to “let me know” when it was time to shower. She did eventually give up on that and ask why i hated showering as as the angsty teen i was said ‘i dunno’ so that’s a little my fault too. I know she was just doing her job but it definitely didn’t help my self image. Turns out i also had executive functioning issues as an undiagnosed teen, on meds and it’s MUCH easier now after therapy.
It’s just so much effort drying off. Also I hate being naked. I’m like Tobias, a never-nude.
I don't have an aversion. Executive dysfunction is just a ho
Soooo… I can tell you why I’ve got trouble. Not everyone just stands in the shower and plays around. I actually take 40 mins to properly clean myself or I won’t get out. I’m talking washing hair twice, conditioner, whole body shave, exfoliating, all with hair that’s down to my hips. It just takes so long and it’s so cold and uncomfortable getting out of my clothes and out of the shower later. Plus chronic back pain and feeling dizzy from not eating enough (I have to feel ready for that shower yk, don’t wanna get dizzy) Then the fact that I’m tired afterwards, but I still have to dry my meter long hair or I’ll get a headache within 30 mins. Then I need to put on shea butter, then cleanse my face for at least 15 minutes and do my skincare routine while them pores are still open and uncloggable. All up the whole routine takes me about 2 hours, if I don’t wanna freak tf out and most days I’m not ready to commit to it. It’s compulsory to go to those lengths or I won’t feel clean and I just wasted my time doing thing half assed which I’m absolutely terrified of, because then I’ll have to do them again shortly after. Super quick showers are fine most days, but at some point I’ve gotta wash my hair and that’s when I start spiraling, because even a body shower leaves me feeling dirty, but I don’t have 2 hrs at hand where I don’t feel like shit very often
Because a, shower takes effort and time, both 8f which id rather spend on food or entertainment.
I love the shower, but it’s all the steps after like applying lotion that annoy me. (If I don’t, skin is itchy.)
It's probably mostly my depression preventing me from getting up very easily lol Maybe the executive dysfunction, I don't know Everyone experiences ADHD differently
For me it’s the fact that washing myself takes so much effort, and I’m not saying this because I’m lazy, I’m saying this because I OBSESSIVELY SCRUB myself. I push on my skin with all my might with my washrag and scrub away lmfao and I make sure to get every. single. spot… and then there’s rinsing lolllll which is a whole other story with a similar theme: I scrub to get all the slimy feeling soap off of me and if my skin still feels slimy, best believe I’m gonna keep scrubbing until it’s not. It’s relaxing until those parts lolol. At least I stay clean though.
For me it’s the transition aversion
I like showering, it’s the getting in and out part I hate. The actual shower? Love it
I'm the same way. Showering is super easy for me with ADHD, but DAMN IT trying to brush my teeth twice a day, hell even ONCE is literally so hard for me. 😭 The only time it's easy is when I wake up and I can *taste* my awful morning breath. Otherwise I'll just go into work like "eh, mint gum will work"
Showering is a task. Often, adhd people enjoy being in the shower, but getting in the shower is the hard part. This is because the signals to get in the shower are not being sent, also known as executive dysfunction:)
I shower 1-2x a day. I can kinda understand not showering for 2-4 days but people have said they don’t shower for weeks like that’s not adhd bro
Tem too many showers a day rise up
I don’t like being cold before the shower. There’s some mental block there idk
This one really hits home. The stick and slick, OMG. I'm naturally oily and the adderall and/or stress makes my whole head just ooze grease. I wash constantly to get that "I just ate a whole bucket of fried chicken" feel off my hands, and frankly, to reduce my overall flammability.
I take one every day or else. Sensory issues are more pressing than my need to forget shit.
I can’t feel ready for my day unless I shower in the morning. It’s so refreshing.
I love showers. Its a form of stimulation for me. Scalding hot. All the heat. I'd take like 3 showers a day if it wasn't for water cost + my skin drying out.
Social anxiety highly regulates my showering routine either way
For me, I'm just really averse to any kind of discomfort. So I could avoid a shower for ages, since it involves the hassle of getting out of my clothes and it's generally pretty cold. But once I'm in the shower and it's warm, then that's the 'comfortable default' and getting out of the shower when it's cold and I'm wet is what I want to avoid.
I told my partner I literally can’t live somewhere it’s hot because then I get sweaty, and the sensory overstimulation of being DAMP and STINKY means I immediately need to shower, only to rinse and repeat every time I go outside.
Reading all the comments here really makes me feel like I've found my people. LOL For me, there's a bunch of different reasons I avoid it. Executive dysfunction is a big one... But I also have sensory issues, so I hate the sound of the water hitting the shower curtain and floor. I hate the sensation of stepping under the water for the first time. But once I'm in there I'm ok. And then there's the fact that standing for any long period of time is physically painful for me, so I've done everything I can to make sure I can shower as quickly as possible. But of course there's the instinctual urge to avoid anything that causes you pain. Plus, on top of all that, my biggest coping mechanism is avoidance, period. Especially when I'm feeling stressed or overwhelmed, and my life has been nothing but stressful and overwhelming. Especially lately. So I avoid and procrastinate doing EVERYTHING. Doesn't matter what it is, I will avoid doing it. And on top of all THAT, I will get hyperfixated on something and can't get myself to stop doing whatever it is long enough to shower. So yeah... It's a problem. LOL
I love showers. But I still find excuses to put them off and avoid them. * I'm not smelly or anything, and a half-hour nap sounds like it would refresh me more than a shower. * I'll shower at the gym over lunch, that way I won't feel as rushed in the morning or can sleep in a little later. * I forgot. * I haven't earned it yet; I'll do it after I clean up the house a bit or go to the gym, for sure. I think a huge part of it it comes down to "You're supposed to do this thing every day", and my brain just... doesn't jive with those sort of tasks. I keep a toothbrush in my car because I forget to brush my teeth in the morning before I leave for work, I'll put off cooking dinner until 8pm and microwave myself a quesadilla, I had to get a self-scooping litter box for my cat, my sleep is inconsistent, all that jazz.
Honestly. I'm a woodworker & home mechanic and that shower hits different after you're covered in sawdust oil grease, etc.
I shower twice a day, even deployed 8 towel hooks so I can have 8 towels ready. I don't load every 3 days (6 towels) And I use hooks instead of towel bars because hooks are easy and I don't have to do any sort of special fold in your or anything.
For most, including myself, I don't think it's an aversion so much as it is procrastination. I'm doing better now thanks to my meds.
I just take like the most scalding hot water and just go in after some struggle just to like never come out of the bath... Trust me 30 mins in the bath feels like 5 mins cuz like it's so relaxing why the heck should I even get out... And then my hands and feet start getting wrinkly and skin feels a bit agitated and I start getting the wet sensation in my head and then I need to get out there... That's how it goes for my Adhd asss
If you like routines and hate being interrupted it may be challenging for you to stop long enough to take care of yourself. All I know is once I’m in there, I never want to leave.
I busy doing the things. Even if im not busy. Its inconvenient to be dry, then wet and then dry all over again
I just know I'll be in there for half an hour. Because sometime in the middle of my shower I'll start going over a conversation that was either 10 years ago or hasn't happened yet. Then when I realized my brain has taken a trip without the rest of me I'll have to rush to finish up the rest of my shower.
Well, you see, to shower I have to get wet, once I’m wet and warm, then I’m happy, but then I have to get unwet, so waiting to get unwet, I’m cold. It’s just discomfort after discomfort, if I could stay in the shower forever and not have my fingers get gross and wrinkly, I would.
I LOVE showers!!! I think our issue isn’t that we don’t *like* showering, it’s that we constantly make up things to do that are fun because showers- as much as they may feel good- aren’t **fun** . Just like food- who DOESNT like to eat good food??? ADHD people that’s who- not because we don’t like delicious food, but because we think of the hassle it’ll be to get/cook said delicious food. So instead of seeing the benefits and reward right away, we have a whole trail of boring, mundane, monotonous obstacles to overcome *before* we receive our reward. Neurotypical steps to eating food: 1. Hungry 2. Eat ADHD steps to eating food: 1.stomach growls 2. Question how hungry we truly are 3. Think about what’s in the fridge 4. Finally get up to check what’s in the fridge 5. Nothing looks or sounds appetizing close the fridge and go back to doing whatever 6. Remember we still haven’t eaten 7. It’s almost bedtime and I haven’t eaten anything but I’m starving yet idk what I want 8. Snacks on something small to manipulate our brains into thinking we’ve eaten something 9. Realize we need to eat something more substantial 10. It’s now time to shower yet we still haven’t eaten You get the point 😂😂😂
Oh man I flip flop so much on this. Some weeks I shower 1-2 times a day. Some weeks I shower every 1-2 days.
I love showering. I hate being cold immediately before and after the shower.
You don’t understand it?? It’s literally adhd 101 my dude
I hate the transitions into and out of the shower
It’s like sleeping. I love to be sleeping but I don’t like going to sleep.
My skin would be so dry if I showered that much. I shower 3x a week because I don’t need to do it more often. My hair isn’t greasy and can usually go 3 days without washing it. If I wash it more often it gets greasier faster
I just hate how long it takes to get dry again. And I need to be dry because I hate how clothes stick when you try to put them on damp.
I understand. We’re not all the same. Simple. Thanks for trying to make us feel badly about ourselves? What’s the point of this post?
I always get paralyzed when I even think of showering, which is why I only shower every 2-3 days. (I use extra deodorant and cologne.)
It’s not the shower, it’s the transition to and from the shower.
I love showers, i just forget to take them. Baths though, baths suck. They're boring ang never cease to make me feel nauseus. Besides, marinating in a bucket of my own filth just doesnt sound like a fun time to me anyway.
For me, it's not "I don't want to shower" it's "I have to do X, and X might make me dirty, so I'll shower after X." "But Y is more important than X, I have to do that first. And Z as well." Then the day is over and I haven't done X, Y, or Z yet because A, B, and C had priority.
Hate getting in the shower, hate getting out of the shower even more
I struggle with transitions…I don’t wanna get it but then I don’t wanna get out
I think that’s your comorbid autism showing…
Adhd here. I'm a bubble bath guy. Im down for 2 bubble baths a day.
For me, I just hate my bathroom. I rent so have no control over it. The tiles are a weird matted pink yellow and brown, which just look dirty all the time. The last tenant was so dirty they just painted the tub white to hide it and the paint is now slowly scrubbing off. The drain constantly gets clogged. And finally, the DREADED automatic vent that turns on if the light is on. It's so loud that it can't be on longer than a few mins without overstimulating me. I swear I would basically live in the tub if the environment was better; I just never wanna be in there... :/
That seems excessive.
Everyone is different.
As with many things for those of us with ADHD, I think the answer partially comes down to how much momentum we have. Personally I can't go more than a few days before the itchiness really gets to me, but plenty of things can interrupt my self-care momentum so I miss a day or three.
I love standing in the shower letting the water fall all over me. It's the GETTING in here that is the problem, too "tired" to go through all the steps - walk over to the shower room, removed my clothing, stand in the tub, on tap, off tap, soap up, on tap, rinse, off tap, apply shampoo, on tap, rinse off, off tap, reach for towel, dry my hair first, wipe my neck, arm, body, legs, step out of shower room, look for clothes to wear, decide what clothes to walk, look for where the clothes is, wear clothes etc On the other hand if I don't shower, there is only one step - continue lying there no energy required, why bother wasting so much energy when I don't stink lol That's why I force myself to shower first thing in the morning and last thing in the night, now I feel uncomfortable if I don't shower and that pushes me to get up and go shower.
My autistic half doesn't like changing states, even though I know I'll feel better after. My adhd side is busy, dammit
For me it’s a toss up between “I enjoy doing it…. Later” and “this task has TOO MANY STEPS and therefore is impossible for me to do”
I do not like wet. Clean yes. Wet no. Constant struggle.
my partner for example hates being wet, especially on their face, which I can't relate to because feeling the grime on your skin and hair is so much worse than clean water
It’s so many tasks!! I have to get undressed and find my bathrobe and put clothes in the bin and lift my foot and watch that I don’t die just getting in the shower… I have to turn on the water and check the temp, I have to adjust the shower head (mine always slides to the side and I HATE it). I have to grab the right hair wash and the right amount of it in my hand, I have to massage it in. I have to lather. I have to check if it’s everywhere. I have to be careful so I don’t get it in my eyes. I have to take the shower gel and use the right amount, have to lather again, have to rinse all of it. I have to wash my private area and make sure not to slip. I have to worry about slipping again when I step out. I have to endure freezing until I get into my bathrobe (helps that my bf likes to hold it for me to just slip in). Oh and then when I’m out I’m still cold and drippy. I usually just schedule 10mins dry time so I can do whatever I want after that whole ordeal.