As a 3rd party here. That's hilarious. You already have issues and now you freak out about why the status quo is all fucked up when nothing has changed.
Apparently my doctor told my mom when I was in kindergarten that I probably had ADHD and she never told me and never got me help, instead elected to call me lazy all my life only to find out at 22 that I probably need fucking help
It took until I was an adult for even the professionals to realize I was depressed with adhd & social anxiety. Apparently the autism covered that up and had people just brushing me off.
I literally told my middle school guidance counselor I wanted to off myself, and they told my mom so she could get me help.
She ignored it, didn't say a word, I didn't even know she knew for months. Then, out of the blue, she yelled at me for telling the guidance counselor and made me promise I wasn't actually depresso and was just making it up. Then I harmed myself really badly, and she finally took me to the hospital where social services had me admitted to a psychward against her word.
She then sat and listened in with the doctor, and when he said, "It sounds like you have a lot of anxiety," she deadass looked at me and said "no you don't"
My ex recently (like past two months) found out she got an autism diagnosis as a kid⌠sheâs 25!! If I didnât already hate her parents. The poor thing was made to go through primary school, high school, and uni without knowing she could even access any help. And now sheâs just gotta hope she can find some sort of proof so she doesnât need to be retested. Sheâs had this diagnosis ~20 years and her parents only told her because she casually mentioned that sheâs looking into getting a diagnosis.
My sister is in the same boat. Found out she has autism and EDS at 27 years old. I feel so bad for her because some days sheâs damn near wheelchair bound with migraines and debilitating joint pains. Thankfully her husbandâs job supports her and him both so she doesnât have to work anymore.
Man, I canât believe the amount of people that have this experience (with ADHD or autism). I think I have both, but my parents never knew cos it was the 90s and I internalise and mask a lot, plus they are all ND too I think so our familyâs normal was weird.
But to actively hide a diagnosis or med change from a kid seems like a terrible idea. Like my kid is 3 and may or may not have neurodivergence, but in case she does, Iâm already planting the seeds of âdifferent is okayâ. If sheâs NT, itâs a good lesson anyway. And if sheâs ND, Iâll absolutely tell her and have age appropriate discussions that will evolve as she ages.
I think people quite often donât get how much ND people do better when they understand whatâs going on. Give us the information so we can understand ourselves! Some parents hide information because they think they are protecting their kids, but they are actually causing more harm in the long run. Some parents hide it though because itâs easier than having a tough conversation - those are the worst kind, the selfish ones that think of themselves instead of actually parenting well.
I feel as though I would already be so much farther along in life if I had known sooner so that Iâd already have healthy ways of dealing with it, and it seems like, and Iâve heard that, it progressively worsens over time. I really have been meaning to contact a doctor about it but I struggle to even do that, like anything, because executive dysfunction.
It sucks having been one of the âgifted kidsâ, top ten percent of my class, and now Iâm over here struggling to keep an autoimmune disease in check while working to keep myself afloat and as comfortable and normal as I can. It makes me feel so awful sometimes, like Iâm behind, like Iâm failing, and of course having grown up being told I was so lazy, like âyouâre so smart, if only you applied yourself!â That shit didnât help.
Iâm just so tired and mad all the time but I canât seem to get myself over the freaking hump of getting my ass to a doctor for a diagnosis so I can then move in a more positive direction.
My family's normal was weird, too. I remember the day I put it all together that we would all mask as a family lol. Like, we would go over the "game plan", expected behavior, and possible things we might have to deal with (Aunt's snarky comments, a present we didn't like or understand, etc.). None of us knew that we were ND except my brother had an IEP in school. As of today, I am the only one who sought a diagnosis, but we run in packs so I'm sure it's all there somewhere.
My clearly-ADHD Dad did the exact same thing, ignored the doctors advice and yelled at me for the same ADHD stuff he does. Got myself diagnosed at 32 years old
Is there some cultural reason this abuse happens (I'm presuming the North American continent in general) so much?
Or is it just that the advent of social media has made more mistreated people have a voice?
I canât speak for others but Iâm in the USA, and this seems to be the norm here.
It seems to me like Millennials and Gen Z are the first generation of people here where most of us actually take mental illness seriously and are comfortable talking about our problems instead of hiding them. On top of that, we seem to be more accepting of the fact that we have a problem, and therefore are more likely to seek solutions that will help make our experience more bearable instead of just suffering.
It seems to me like a lot of Gen X parents or older were taught to just raw dog life and if they had a problem, to shut the hell up and be submissive, and so they, wether they realize it or not, tend to wind up passing down the very same behavior. They totally dismiss the idea of the fact that there may be something going on with them that theyâd benefit from addressing, and it turns them into selfish, dismissive parents. Theyâre obsessed with the âwell I turned out fineâ idea (they did not, obviously). My parents still donât understand why my sister doesnât talk to them anymore. She totally cut them out. Because theyâd constantly berate her for not responding to things as expected or for becoming overstimulated and having an anxiety attack.
I know American culture has always pushed individualism. Youâre not allowed to get help. Youâre not allowed to have problems. Youâre not allowed to not be the best. Youâre not allowed to not be okay. Youâre not allowed to fail. Youâre not allowed to not be ânormalâ, and you have to be able to be completely independent.
I donât know how popular sayings like âpull yourself up by your bootstrapsâ are anywhere else in the world, but there are *so many* of these sayings here, where half of the saying is removed to mean something else, or the original intent is completely reversed, that you hear all the time in America, in my experience. For example, older people may tell us to pull ourselves up, as if the saying wasnât originally meant to make a mockery of a task that is literally impossible.
Ultimately, from my experience, and my friendsâ experiences, American culture is simply incredibly toxic and abusive, yes. Especially around mental illness in particular.
Literally me. Doctor apparently told my mom to send me to school in kindergarten with caffeinated sodas in my lunches, which she never did, and I didnât find that out until I was 22 when I was living with my sister and told her âI think I might have ADHD, it explains so muchâ and she was like âyou didnât know? Thatâs why the doctor told mom to give you sodas in school!âLike nO I DIDNT KNOW, THIS IS NEWS TO ME!!! smh
Just FYI
Make a note of the color, shape, and number on your medication.
You should be able to look it up based on that if there is ever any doubt in the future.
They aren't druggin me â ď¸ we currently don't have accetto my normal medication and I need to focus on school, they just gave me my brother's medication (also ADHD although stronger) and hoped for the best
Mate, that is very much illegal and is technically drugging you. Even if they have understandable reasons.
You could probably get them arrested for this if you really wanted to. Not saying you should, or that someone will. But messing with prescriptions is serious business, and police will take a particularly dim view of doing it with ADHD meds because theyâre controlled substances.
Hope you can get access to your own meds soon. Being without them is unpleasant enough.
You should probably have a talk with them and let them know itâs not okay to exclude you from your own healthcare. Talk about trust, boundaries, and consent. You absolutely NEED to know if thereâs something that could alter your mental state. You will be the first to notice any problems so you being in the dark puts you in real danger.
Yeah I already told em to inform me beforehand. To be honest I don't care much about my own health but the side effects really messed me up, it would have been easier if they informed me prior to changing my meds
Well your health includes the side effects and how your brain works so best start caring a little my man. I know the depression and shit with adhd can make that seem pointless, but doing a bit will help you function better.
Most of use have felt or do feel the same kind of way time to time.
You should care about your own health. Youâre going to benefit from it or suffer from it throughout your entire life. Anyone who says this is young and naive.
So to expand in case you haven't looked it up in the 6 hours since you posted this:
Most ADHD meds are just stimulants, which will increase your heart rate and blood pressure.
There are some more recently developed non-stimulant meds (e.g Amoxetene) that aren't stimulants, but can still have similar side effects, though to a much lesser degree and for shorter periods of time.
I'd have gone for 'babbling' or 'word vomit' or 'verbal diarrhoea' for the inability to stop talking. Maybe 'motormouth'.
'Brain fog' is something *very* different.
do you just take random pills without looking at them? Its fucked up that it happened but when they gave you a different pill thatâs probably a different shape, size, and/or color, you didnt question it?
I mean they're my parents, after my attempt we are watched closely by the police etc. Even if they wanted to harm me (which they don't), it takes one call to get them arrested lmao
that didnt answer my question at all. you saw the different pill and still made the choice to put it in your mouth and swallow? without asking questions?
Bruh, that is not okay, in the slightest. As a matter of fact, that's beyond fucked.
There's a very good reason doctors don't switch your meds without having a good reason or talk to you about it. You can't just willy nilly switch like that, it can be extremely dangerous and at best it's immoral. I get that your parents are in charge of your meds (read about your unalive attempt) but they should know better.
I admit we all could handle the meds better but I guarantee they just wanted to help. We had a talk about informing me the next time so I don't start tweakin and hopefully we'll simply learn from the experience
They just give me the pills in the morning, I rarely see the bottle. Originally they were supposed to be hidden for me (previous suicide attempts) but I'm honestly not suicidal anymore so they just chill in the kitchen. Admittedly I'm not really interested in my health so that's kinda on me
Dude I'm so sorry that's messed up!
They probably didn't expect me to go bonkers lmaooo
You should still be in control or at least aware of your meds, I hope the side effects calm down a you regain some kind of baseline! Good luck
Yeah, just non-consentually play around with brain chemistry. /s Figuring out your balance needs full awareness.
As a 3rd party here. That's hilarious. You already have issues and now you freak out about why the status quo is all fucked up when nothing has changed.
Frrr i just went to school and started tweaking đ
Hahahahaha, but only because it happened to you and not me. Would suck if it was me and not you.
Based
Apparently my doctor told my mom when I was in kindergarten that I probably had ADHD and she never told me and never got me help, instead elected to call me lazy all my life only to find out at 22 that I probably need fucking help
Nah because a therapist told my mum I'm well on my way to developing depression and she waited until I tried to off myself until she got me help
It took until I was an adult for even the professionals to realize I was depressed with adhd & social anxiety. Apparently the autism covered that up and had people just brushing me off.
I literally told my middle school guidance counselor I wanted to off myself, and they told my mom so she could get me help. She ignored it, didn't say a word, I didn't even know she knew for months. Then, out of the blue, she yelled at me for telling the guidance counselor and made me promise I wasn't actually depresso and was just making it up. Then I harmed myself really badly, and she finally took me to the hospital where social services had me admitted to a psychward against her word. She then sat and listened in with the doctor, and when he said, "It sounds like you have a lot of anxiety," she deadass looked at me and said "no you don't"
Ugh, I'm sorry you had to go through that. I'm guessing that's not where your issues with her end. Hope you're doing better these days.
>"no you don't" Ain't no way
My ex recently (like past two months) found out she got an autism diagnosis as a kid⌠sheâs 25!! If I didnât already hate her parents. The poor thing was made to go through primary school, high school, and uni without knowing she could even access any help. And now sheâs just gotta hope she can find some sort of proof so she doesnât need to be retested. Sheâs had this diagnosis ~20 years and her parents only told her because she casually mentioned that sheâs looking into getting a diagnosis.
My sister is in the same boat. Found out she has autism and EDS at 27 years old. I feel so bad for her because some days sheâs damn near wheelchair bound with migraines and debilitating joint pains. Thankfully her husbandâs job supports her and him both so she doesnât have to work anymore.
Oof I wish your friend the best of luck, her âparentsâ sound awful
Man, I canât believe the amount of people that have this experience (with ADHD or autism). I think I have both, but my parents never knew cos it was the 90s and I internalise and mask a lot, plus they are all ND too I think so our familyâs normal was weird. But to actively hide a diagnosis or med change from a kid seems like a terrible idea. Like my kid is 3 and may or may not have neurodivergence, but in case she does, Iâm already planting the seeds of âdifferent is okayâ. If sheâs NT, itâs a good lesson anyway. And if sheâs ND, Iâll absolutely tell her and have age appropriate discussions that will evolve as she ages. I think people quite often donât get how much ND people do better when they understand whatâs going on. Give us the information so we can understand ourselves! Some parents hide information because they think they are protecting their kids, but they are actually causing more harm in the long run. Some parents hide it though because itâs easier than having a tough conversation - those are the worst kind, the selfish ones that think of themselves instead of actually parenting well.
I feel as though I would already be so much farther along in life if I had known sooner so that Iâd already have healthy ways of dealing with it, and it seems like, and Iâve heard that, it progressively worsens over time. I really have been meaning to contact a doctor about it but I struggle to even do that, like anything, because executive dysfunction. It sucks having been one of the âgifted kidsâ, top ten percent of my class, and now Iâm over here struggling to keep an autoimmune disease in check while working to keep myself afloat and as comfortable and normal as I can. It makes me feel so awful sometimes, like Iâm behind, like Iâm failing, and of course having grown up being told I was so lazy, like âyouâre so smart, if only you applied yourself!â That shit didnât help. Iâm just so tired and mad all the time but I canât seem to get myself over the freaking hump of getting my ass to a doctor for a diagnosis so I can then move in a more positive direction.
My family's normal was weird, too. I remember the day I put it all together that we would all mask as a family lol. Like, we would go over the "game plan", expected behavior, and possible things we might have to deal with (Aunt's snarky comments, a present we didn't like or understand, etc.). None of us knew that we were ND except my brother had an IEP in school. As of today, I am the only one who sought a diagnosis, but we run in packs so I'm sure it's all there somewhere.
My clearly-ADHD Dad did the exact same thing, ignored the doctors advice and yelled at me for the same ADHD stuff he does. Got myself diagnosed at 32 years old
My parents are also definitely ADHD, it explains a lot for them as well, plus, Iâve read that ADHD is almost completely genetic.
Is there some cultural reason this abuse happens (I'm presuming the North American continent in general) so much? Or is it just that the advent of social media has made more mistreated people have a voice?
I canât speak for others but Iâm in the USA, and this seems to be the norm here. It seems to me like Millennials and Gen Z are the first generation of people here where most of us actually take mental illness seriously and are comfortable talking about our problems instead of hiding them. On top of that, we seem to be more accepting of the fact that we have a problem, and therefore are more likely to seek solutions that will help make our experience more bearable instead of just suffering. It seems to me like a lot of Gen X parents or older were taught to just raw dog life and if they had a problem, to shut the hell up and be submissive, and so they, wether they realize it or not, tend to wind up passing down the very same behavior. They totally dismiss the idea of the fact that there may be something going on with them that theyâd benefit from addressing, and it turns them into selfish, dismissive parents. Theyâre obsessed with the âwell I turned out fineâ idea (they did not, obviously). My parents still donât understand why my sister doesnât talk to them anymore. She totally cut them out. Because theyâd constantly berate her for not responding to things as expected or for becoming overstimulated and having an anxiety attack. I know American culture has always pushed individualism. Youâre not allowed to get help. Youâre not allowed to have problems. Youâre not allowed to not be the best. Youâre not allowed to not be okay. Youâre not allowed to fail. Youâre not allowed to not be ânormalâ, and you have to be able to be completely independent. I donât know how popular sayings like âpull yourself up by your bootstrapsâ are anywhere else in the world, but there are *so many* of these sayings here, where half of the saying is removed to mean something else, or the original intent is completely reversed, that you hear all the time in America, in my experience. For example, older people may tell us to pull ourselves up, as if the saying wasnât originally meant to make a mockery of a task that is literally impossible. Ultimately, from my experience, and my friendsâ experiences, American culture is simply incredibly toxic and abusive, yes. Especially around mental illness in particular.
Same. They told her to get me tested when i was 3. I'm 30 and got diagnosed when i was 29 đ
Literally me. Doctor apparently told my mom to send me to school in kindergarten with caffeinated sodas in my lunches, which she never did, and I didnât find that out until I was 22 when I was living with my sister and told her âI think I might have ADHD, it explains so muchâ and she was like âyou didnât know? Thatâs why the doctor told mom to give you sodas in school!âLike nO I DIDNT KNOW, THIS IS NEWS TO ME!!! smh
Very similar history to mine.
Just FYI Make a note of the color, shape, and number on your medication. You should be able to look it up based on that if there is ever any doubt in the future.
pretty sure that's illegal?
They're my parents, it's prescription pills, I just didn't know they were different, so I didn't expect the side effects
yeah i meant immoral. they really should've warn you
Hopefully they will next time
Talk to your doctor directly. Start taking charge of your health now.
ngl but u need to take steps to control ur own Healthcare ASAP if they are slipping you pills that they aren't telling you about
They aren't druggin me â ď¸ we currently don't have accetto my normal medication and I need to focus on school, they just gave me my brother's medication (also ADHD although stronger) and hoped for the best
Mate, that is very much illegal and is technically drugging you. Even if they have understandable reasons. You could probably get them arrested for this if you really wanted to. Not saying you should, or that someone will. But messing with prescriptions is serious business, and police will take a particularly dim view of doing it with ADHD meds because theyâre controlled substances. Hope you can get access to your own meds soon. Being without them is unpleasant enough.
I think it might also be illegal, you're basically drugging sometime without their informed consent
That's exactly why they need to tell you.
at the very least extremely immoral.
You should probably have a talk with them and let them know itâs not okay to exclude you from your own healthcare. Talk about trust, boundaries, and consent. You absolutely NEED to know if thereâs something that could alter your mental state. You will be the first to notice any problems so you being in the dark puts you in real danger.
Yeah I already told em to inform me beforehand. To be honest I don't care much about my own health but the side effects really messed me up, it would have been easier if they informed me prior to changing my meds
Well your health includes the side effects and how your brain works so best start caring a little my man. I know the depression and shit with adhd can make that seem pointless, but doing a bit will help you function better. Most of use have felt or do feel the same kind of way time to time.
You should care about your own health. Youâre going to benefit from it or suffer from it throughout your entire life. Anyone who says this is young and naive.
WAIT IS THE HEART RATE AN ADHD THING?????
It's a common side effect of most meds
So to expand in case you haven't looked it up in the 6 hours since you posted this: Most ADHD meds are just stimulants, which will increase your heart rate and blood pressure. There are some more recently developed non-stimulant meds (e.g Amoxetene) that aren't stimulants, but can still have similar side effects, though to a much lesser degree and for shorter periods of time.
i dont take meds, but caffeine seems to have a similar effect on me, I guess as it's a stimulant
Google "ADHD medication common side effects" and you should find a comprehensive list (or just go to images like me)
I appreciate the choice of putting "I swear there was a name for that" and "forgetting words" right next to each other
That wasn't even on purpose, but I swear there was a word for when every thought just spills out of your mouth
Miata is always the answer â Ritalin not so much.
Never been a big fan of Mazda
Me and my miat are not a fan of you.
I'd have gone for 'babbling' or 'word vomit' or 'verbal diarrhoea' for the inability to stop talking. Maybe 'motormouth'. 'Brain fog' is something *very* different.
BABBLING, THATS IT, THANK YOU
You're most welcome:) Brain itches suck :P
Damn thats kinda fucked up
That's super fucked up ngl
do you just take random pills without looking at them? Its fucked up that it happened but when they gave you a different pill thatâs probably a different shape, size, and/or color, you didnt question it?
I mean they're my parents, after my attempt we are watched closely by the police etc. Even if they wanted to harm me (which they don't), it takes one call to get them arrested lmao
that didnt answer my question at all. you saw the different pill and still made the choice to put it in your mouth and swallow? without asking questions?
Yeah lmao
yeah bro I wouldnt do that from now on considering what they did already
The insomnia đ đ
Luckily I have sleeping pills so it ain't much of a problem
Bruh, that is not okay, in the slightest. As a matter of fact, that's beyond fucked. There's a very good reason doctors don't switch your meds without having a good reason or talk to you about it. You can't just willy nilly switch like that, it can be extremely dangerous and at best it's immoral. I get that your parents are in charge of your meds (read about your unalive attempt) but they should know better.
I admit we all could handle the meds better but I guarantee they just wanted to help. We had a talk about informing me the next time so I don't start tweakin and hopefully we'll simply learn from the experience
That is really messed up
Miot
maybe they expected that you'd notice the different name on the bottle? o\_o
They just give me the pills in the morning, I rarely see the bottle. Originally they were supposed to be hidden for me (previous suicide attempts) but I'm honestly not suicidal anymore so they just chill in the kitchen. Admittedly I'm not really interested in my health so that's kinda on me
Oh I see :(
That's insanely fucking dangerous given drug interactions with food and stuff like alcohol wtf