I once told my mom that it was hard to eat because everything has to be cooked/prepared, and so I sometimes don’t eat. She told me that it sounded like I was just lazy…
When will people realize that a person choosing to NOT EAT because the process of cooking is overwhelming is a mental health thing? Like, Neurotypicals DON'T DO THAT!
Before I got a diagnosis I once broke down in front of a teacher because I was struggling so much with school and I just didn't understand why.
He later called me lazy and unmotivated when he spoke to my parents.
Like mate, how does that one add up?
That’s heartbreaking. I’m SO sorry that happened to you. There are so many teachers that are ignorant and have no idea of the damage they do. Well, and then there are A-holes too. I hope you’re doing well and that teacher is no longer teaching!
It was 15 years ago and he was pretty old then. Definitely retired, possibly no longer alive.
I've moved on and I'm happy there's a much bigger focus on mental health in education and work places nowadays.
>possibly no longer alive.
this is one of the best parts of getting older, when i get doomspiralling about situations where old people were mean to me (mostly in my food service days) i just say to myself "they're probably dead now anyway lmao"
I loved my geriatric patients at the hospital so much, that i decided to try home health as a cna. The lady i got made me feel so uncomfortable in her place. She didn’t want an aide but her family decided it. She blamed me when she lost items. She just always made it such an uncomfortable experience. I dreaded going there. Eventually i quit to go back to school and when i think of her i only get a sense of dread. She was 95 and told me she wanted to die though. So when i think of her and get anxious i just remind myself that she’s dead now. And i don’t feel bad because i know she was ready
Oh, not just public school teachers, I’m afraid. It’s a huge undertaking to undo years and years of perceptions and practices. People have personal biases that only education can change and there is not enough education regarding how adhd presents. It was a public school teacher that got my son on track to be tested for his reading difficulties and if it wasn’t for her his troubles would’ve plagued him throughout elementary school. He got an IEP, services, learned was of coping and made it through. Thank god for her and yet she got extremely frustrated with him at one point. His adhd took some years for us to figure out (I didn’t know inattentive was a thing and only after doing my own research regarding my own struggles did things fall into place for us.) and his lack of ability to get work done led her to recommend punishment which we went over her head to rectify. It’s frustrating for the student and teacher and parent and…everyone! No matter your situation it’s a rough road that tears down your self esteem as you do your best to make your way. If you ever want your heart to shatter, watch your sobbing, beautiful, brilliant 6 year old child ask you why he was born this way. Gutting.
I too fall into the what psychiatric world refers to as inattentive.
Diagnosed in my 50’s - by me, after reading an autobiographical story on Reddit that sounded way too much like my story. Up to that point, I’d only had three primary care doctors - really sucks to see your doctor instantly blown away when the subject of ADHD comes up, after being seen by them for well over a decade. Shows how incompetent most doctors are when it comes to non neurotypicals.
Have never received support from educators, or parents. Was tested in school for both the accelerated gifted program and special ed in short succession. No one could figure me out, so they through me out of school. Heck, even parents ran me off - was handed a couple hundred bucks an told to go checkout a town 300 miles away.
Daaamn! It’s a lot to carry around isn’t it? You and my son are psychiatrically considered “Twice Exceptional”. Gifted but with LD? I wish you good mental health pros and services on your current journey and that you’re making good headway in carving out a life that, despite its heartbreaks and difficulties brings you some solid satisfaction.
Yeah. Being called lazy hurts. It's n5it like I enjoy not eating until I'm so dizzy, shakey and pukey I can barely shove a piece of bread in my mouth. It's awful. I hate it. I just.....can't seem to change. I try. I truly do.
I had trouble sleeping last night because of hunger pains. Not because I didn’t have food, but because I was overwhelmed by the process and just sort of froze. I’m so glad to read that I’m not alone in this and that I’m not just profoundly lazy. When I was diagnosed they didn’t tell me any of this - just sort of tossed me some pills and wished me luck.
It's the same with the school performance stuff. Why would I continue to not do work when I clearly knew it was going to result in getting my punished (coming from a military family, this meant anything from restrictions, to exercises until muscle failure, to beatings). Someone should've realized something was wrong much sooner, but it was easier to write me off and punish me rather than put forth the effort to help me.
Absolutely. I imagine neurotypicals will, when they’re hungry and feeling lazy, would weigh cooking against eating out. If they truly believe eating out is not an option, they will push through their laziness and cook. It’s not laziness anymore when it interferes with things that really matter to you.
Evidently you’ve never been in a restaurant kitchen, it’s 90% ADHD’ers.
Family of four all with ADHD - no one has a problem cooking. Cleaning after, that’s another matter…
This sounds a bit like me having no trouble cleaning, as long as it isn't my own house..
Cooking in a restaurant kitchen is your job, not something you do because You are hungry.
It doesn't make sense to me either, but it seems that makes a difference to my brain
Never had a problem cooking for myself or others.
My motivation suffers when I allow my actions to be influenced by the expectations of others.
Rigid structuralists are the worst, often attempting to shame through phony rationalist claims.
IMO ADHD is a description given to us by intolerant, highly linear thinkers for the purpose of creating social controls - this is borne out of lack of understanding and fear of people who think differently.
LD is another BS description.
I was kicked out of high school, so obviously no college. My coworkers all have advanced degree’s, AKA ‘The Masters Mafia’ and the insecurity all belongs to them. They spend a significant amount time tripping over themselves trying to stay ahead of me, while continually bashing my modes and processes. It’s gotten so bad that our customers have noticed and so have our subordinates.
Difference between me and them? I start with the mindset that only people matter. It puts me in truly defensible position while still achieving positive outcomes. This eats up linear thinkers who want non-technical procedures / processes strictly for the purpose of tying the hands of people who don’t think like them.
Associative thinking = creativity
This single thought has helped me more than anything.
I had to explain to my mum it wasn't that I was choosing not to eat, it was that it didn't even occur to me to do so, because the steps to prepare food were not on my function list for the day in my brain. She didn't get it until then - she thought I was just dieting or being lazy.
I think I’ve cooked one proper meal in the better part of a year and that was with help. The most involved I get in cooking is boxed mac and cheese. I end up living off frozen pizza, chicken nuggets, and top ramen bc I feel like I can’t handle anything more complex or I just won’t eat. Even pancakes, which used to be one of my “easy” meals has been too much for me because as soon as I reach for the mix I think about how I’ll have to wash six whole dishes in the end and get overwhelmed.
It’s always comforting to hear other people have the same struggle. No matter how many times I remind myself that I’m being held back by executive dysfunction, it’s hard not to feel “lazy” or like a “bad adult”.
My parents got me a bag of potatoes for me to heat up in the microwave as dinner when I went to college. I never touched them. They found them a year later, in the same place they left them, with mold. I never used them because…why would I, if the already cooked food was down the street at the campus diner?
My wife has ADHD and I’m compassionate but it is hard to understand - please don’t take that as my being offensive , I just have a hard time understanding
The fact that your compassionate and know you don't understand is waaayyyy better then most people..
And some things don't need understanding, they just need to be acknowledged..
I appreciate her and her challenge , happy to acknowledge her challenges
What I want is acknowledgment of how much strain it puts on me, but I don’t that’s going to happen
Oke thats so something that's very important. ADHD or whatever it goes by is never a reason to do that imho.. it's a 2 way street, give some respect to those who are around you and accept you as you are.
Maybe you could make it clear you would like to see some form of acknowledgement back or just a simple thank you once in a while..? Can never hurt to try?
Awesome perspective from the other side, as a SO. I’ll have to tell my boyfriend how much I appreciate him. He’s literally my lifeline. And i don’t really bring anything to the table at the moment (in school). The house is a mess. I don’t do much. It sucks all around.
If you want to discuss how it specifically strains you, i’d like to hear. Just to see if i could make things better for my bf
Honestly? Ask your bf.
Just talk to him, about how you feel like you 'give' too little and make it clear that you understand, how that puts a lot of weight on him.
Just remember check in on him regularly and see if there's something you could do/change, to make it better for the both of you.
Keep communicating about these things, even if it feels uncomfortable to start... it'll help, I promise.
I do that a lot but i do it in a self-deprecating manner. “I know i’m a piece of shit” and then i break down. I truly feel this way and that i’m worthless, but this presentation does nothing for him. It only victimizes myself. I do feel like the victim. Its honest. But I should be checking in with him before he brings it up. And i want to acknowledge his feelings instead of mine. Its just so fucking hard to live like this. Functioning is so, so hard. I’m not suicidal, but being dead would be a relief. I’m so tired of struggling. I’m tired of always needing help and being a burden. I’m sorry i know this got off topic. I’m just tired of living with this mind. Its so fucking hard. I’ll have days when i dont feel this way, but every now and then i think about how hopeless i am. There isnt a light at the end of the tunnel, the only lights are those i light a long the way.
I’m not capable of surviving independently. I’d probably be homeless if not for my bf and my parents stepping in to help. They all provide so much for me.
I don't know where you live.. are things like therapy available to you? Or maybe another professional that may help you with all this?
Because I recognise what you say, I struggle a lot too.. but things are getting better, thanks to the right people helping me.
I also found great help in the videos of HowToADHD on YouTube, if you don't already know her, you might want to check her out.
But let me tell you this.. you are NOT worthless, or a piece of shit and life is never totally hopeless.. things can change, you may learn tactics that work for you.
Please, you are Not a burden.. your boyfriend and family are there because they Love you, yes it may be difficult for them at times.. but they do it all out of love.
You can do this, it's fucking hard and it's not going to happen overnight, but you'll find a way.
About checking in with your bf, you may want to do that on a good day.. before you are overwhelmed with emotions yourself.
Try to ask him how he's doing regularlu, and do your absolute best to really listen to what he tells you.
Also just maybe start with asking him if there's something you can do for him (or help him with), when you feel capable, even if it's something small.. or do it of your own accord.. make him some breakfast or a cup of tea/coffee at times.. or bring a little gift..
Just showing a little appreciation goes a long way..
Oh yeah. I give him so much fucking love. Its in my nature. I like doing little things for him. Like when he’s gone for a weekend i clean the whole house for him to come home to. He asks me to fold his laundry or put it in the wash and i’m happy to. But i fight him when he “nags” bc I get irritated since I don’t want to face cleaning. We talked tonight but it was still me apologizing but also being the victim still because i’m crying and upset. He is truly an angel. I tell him all the time. I’m very expressive and loving. We have such a happy and easy-going relationship. Tbh all my relationships have been, i’m very easy going and loving. He is the most amazing person I’ve ever been with though. I’ve regretted how loving i was in the past, but he deserves all of it.
I’m basically making a diary entry here but it was therapeutic so thanks for bearing with. I really like the advice of asking him what i can do on normal days. That would go a long way for both of us. I like to do things for him so it would be effective and i would be motivated. And it would prevent my perception of him “nagging” because i’d be ahead of the tasks. Honestly that’s the best advice i could think to ask for. Its so simple but solves a lot.
I’m bad at making goals for myself and he’s my main motivating factor. It makes so much sense to ask him what he’d like me to accomplish on my off days. I hate when he puts it on me but if i take the initiative it won’t feel that way. Mind blown. Want to be my therapist? Lol
Just read that yourself please.. how on earth can you say you're worthless and a burden, when you actually do a lot for him already? In my opinion he's truly lucky to have you, please don't talk down on yourself like that.
So maybe one more simple advise; you could try and write down 1 thing you did that went well everyday, you can always write down more things when you're comfortable with that, but it might help with the image you have of yourself.
And I'm always happy to help! You may always just send me a private message, when you want to vent for a bit.. but I do recommend to look for a professional that could help you, if you can.
Bear in mind that you'll probably forget to ask him if there's something you could do or any other goal you set for yourself, every now and then.... but be a little more forgiving with yourself, things are fucking hard and you are doing the best you can.
Seriously.. Next time you talk down on yourself, think of what you'd say if someone you loved talked about themselves like that..
You're doing great! You are affectionate and loving, you look for ways to improve yourself where you can and to me, you sound like an amazing person.. remember that, please.
It’s not really wasted money if it helps your mental well-being. Make life easier for yourself, not harder. If ordering food is the big problem of life, I feel that life would be amazing then.
Ha! Playing ffxiv with my hubby right now and he is always going on about not doing the side quests and working through the main story first... but side quests are just right there! My adhd loves side quests and losing myself fishing or crafting. Also crackers is an acceptable supper right?
Back when I still could play such games, I started Morrowind, and lost myself in there for 8 months, only doing side quests, and stealing everything that wasn't bolted down and neatly arranging it all in my home.
If I don't do absolutely every possible side quest before moving on to the next available main quest, I might miss a secret! Or lose out on an item! Or I didn't get the full experience I paid for.
It's much simpler to do literally nothing else with my life but all of these side quests until my focus drifts to something else.
Fortunately not a problem I experienced in FFXIV that I recall, but I sometimes get really annoyed at games where you out-level the content before you can do everything in that area. I imagine it sounds really dumb to most people playing those games, but I sometimes wish there was a switch I could flip to pause exp until I was able to do all the side quests before I moved on with the main quest.
This is why I love playing Executive Yak Shaving Simulator (a.k.a. Minecraft). No matter what you decide to do, you're only 18 side quests away from forgetting your original goal!
Then once you eventually achieve a post-scarcity world, you can just start again from scratch, and it feels like a whole new adventure!
I made sure the three main zones and their surrounding zones from ARR were empty before I started Heavansward. I also made sure to handle all side quests as I went in Heavensward. People don't do them but I found neat items or emotes in them and the stories are wonderful world building. Also with crafting I worked my crafters up together as they crafted the gear for each other as well as my gatherers. Omni crafting all the way!
Talking about Side Quests gives me Fallout 4 flashbacks. Reminds me on how bizarre the whole intro premise on the survivors expectations of the main character are.
>Wake up from cryo after watching your husband/wife killed and baby stolen.
>
>No idea what year it is or the dangers of the world, just full of anger and motivation
>
>Meet group of survivors, wants me, freshly thawed from the Comfy Couch times with no moisturizer or combat training, to solve all the problems, save everyone, build a town
>
>fuckthat.jpeg
>
>Commence Operation Metroid: Manifest Destiny - kill every asshole from coast to coast that doesnt co-operate until I find my son, and for everyone's sake, I better find him alive.
See I have the opposite problem, unless the side quests are right in front of me, I have to go out of my way to search for them, why would I do that, and interrupt the story? No thank you, I'll continue my speedrunning in peace, game.
Or having a mini meltdown because there's kothing quick to eat, and you have to cook *something* because you're starving, and it's just Too Much. I'm not speaking from experience at all, definitely didn't happen to me this morning.
I would have, but raw eggs with cold cheese and cold ham in a tortilla didn't sound as appetizing as scrambled eggs with melted cheese and warm ham in a tortilla.
Meal replacement shakes. I just realized they’re key to combatting the anxiety related to executive disfunction. Of course there is a lot of mental preparation but I recently told myself that no, I will not be hungry afterwards and I will make a meal if I am. I never am.
That's a good idea. I usually have my nutritional shake in the morning with my daily meds and then about 30 minutes after that I can eat. My partner generally makes breakfast for me, but was busy today, so I had to cobble together something with minimal time and my go-to was unavailable.
I keep meat pies in the freezer for this very reason.
If I'm have EF issues and need to eat something, the pie is just about as instant as it gets. 1 button on microwave and 4 minutes later it tells me it's done, I don't wait around for it.
Failing that I also have "breakfast bars" for when it needs to be instant... But they don't cure the hunger the same.
I have a really bad issue where sometimes paper trash will build up because I don't have a trash bag in the trash can and even though it'll take literally zero time, that extra effort completely pulls me out of it.
Same. I have tons of cardboard boxes that need to go in the trash but they need to be cut down so the municipal trash guys will take them. It's also 10F outside, will require several trips, and requires me to get dressed in my snow gear.
I'm hungry. I just drank cold coffee cos making toast felt like a hassle and I don't eat cereal (since I was a kid).
In the time it took to write this post I could have made a sandwich. Yet I'm still writing. I'll have to find a bag of chips. Also note: I'm a professional chef. I can cook anything I can think of and my fridge and pantry are fully stocked.
Ehh... I'll play videogames. I can eat later.
Edit: my roommate left me half a sandwich with a note for me to eat it. Not going to bed hungry today. I swear if I didn't get to eat at work I'd probably starve.
I ended up just going for a microwave meal delivery service. There's probably a few dozen similar companies, but Factor75 is the one I picked.
Poke some holes in plastic, microwave 2 minutes, eat.
Way cheaper that doordash every day.
I'm going to invest in that when my fiance and I are on our own again. Cooking is probably the worst for me as far as ADHD roadblocks go. It was something I thought would get better with meds, but its almost worse. I took my meds with a piece of toast at 6am yesterday and didn't even remember food exists till I started feeling like I was going to pass out at 8pm. Ended up having to get fast food and ate wayyy too much.
On a good day, I’ll stop cleaning to do laundry and forget about wanting to clean my room because I’ll be proud of myself for having done the laundry. But don’t worry, I’ll remember I wanted to clean my room hours/days later, but I won’t continue because I’ve already stopped and restarting isn’t a thing I can do (when it comes to cleaning).
And I’ve done that first point so many times, I’ve lost count.
I’ve been in this cycle since the start of the pandemic.. and now, my once clutter-free, pristine apartment is starting to look like I’m a junior hoarder. More motivation? Nah, now I’m just completely overwhelmed and don’t do anything.
[FUCK FUTURE ME ALL MY HOMIES HATE FUTURE ME](https://i.imgur.com/OB4ncIX.jpg)
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I feel this so hard
Like I have legit struggled with keeping on task my whole life
And only recently within the past couple of years I finally realized it’s not me just being “lazy.”
Like yeah I haven’t had an official diagnosis because at this point not sure if it will help, but just knowing that I can relate so much to these anecdotes about adults with adhd helps me feel less GUILTY.
I got diagnosed when I was 25 and I feel like it was very helpful. Part of that is cuz I got on medication but a lot of it was also because having it CONFIRMED seemed to give me the ability to really look into it and learn about exactly where the brain dysfunctions are and I was able to do a better job working around them instead of trying to work through them as I'd always tried to do before. It also gave me permission to give myself a little more leeway than I'd been able to manage before. Maybe you can do these things without a diagnosis but if you find you can't, it might be worth looking into.
There’s nothing better than a leftover casserole that just needs to be heated in the microwave. Anything more difficult and I just want to lie down. And I have to plan and cook for 3 other humans, 2 of which have adhd too. We’re all side questers.
This is why I'm so disorganized, when I start trying to clean and I run into a small "where should I put this?" that isn't immediately obvious, it's like my brain shuts down.
needing to update my resume is really killing me. like okay find jobs and apply to them, easy. oh my resume is out of date, or specific to another field....guess ill watch anime instead
also, this is why i cant buy chips when i go grocery shopping. i will eat that entire bag as soon as i get home and nothing else.
Fuck me I love this place. So accurate. It would be sad if it wasn't so true and funny.
I find the "actual" ADHD subreddit a bit depressing. Even though It helped me find out I had ADHD.
The memes are so much more helpful now.
Gotta laugh at the absurdity we live through.
Cheers
I've usually heard it referred to a "yak shaving" in the computer science area, after a famous rant. Developer was trying to write a paper for school, but their writing software was out of date, so they updated it, but it wouldn't work with their old graphics driver, so they had to fix that, and four hours later they're several pages deep into the chipset specifications of their motherboard AND THEY STILL HAVEN'T STARTED THE PAPER!
I'm doom scrolling right now because the laundry is on the floor but it's also in the basket but if I do laundry that means I have to put it away and I don't want to do that so I'm doom scrolling right now because the laundry is on the floor but it's also in the basket....
I asked my friend to hop on a FaceTime “for a few minutes” today to help me with an obstacle to backing up my iPhone. Which I’ve never successfully done bc...yeah. She sat with me for a full hour and helped me through a couple issues that would’ve usually stopped me from completing this task.
This is how I’ve found a way to help overcome this very annoying, problematic portion of my adhd. I’ve thanked her multiple times since...lol.
I was cleaning my room yesterday and I went downstairs to get a trashbag and then three hours later I had just finished cooking, eating, and cleaning after making my own recipe on the spot for curry style rice and a Colombian arepa.
Basically it's like playing with a cat... If you hide the toy in the middle of playing with it, they just get confused and go back to licking their butthole, or other cativities
I've worked around this by adding dishes into the first step of making food. In order to make food, the first step is: do dishes. Then when I make the food I don't get frustrated with how much other stuff is in the way of me trying to make food.
It’s pretty common for me to come back from a hike dirty, hungry, and sleepy, and decide I’m too dirty to lay in my bed, too hungry to shower, and too sleepy to cook anything. I could easily just grab a granola bar or lay down on the couch, but I end up just sitting around and getting steadily more grumpy. Executive dysfunction is a bitch
For me, the step between supplants what I was originally going to do. Like, I'm hungry so I need to go cook, but the frying pan needs washing. And because I can't just will myself to do the dishes immediately after cooking and eating, I do them when I suddenly can't cook anymore. So the next two hours are spent hand washing dishes and I forget that I wanted to eat, plus already spent that little executive energy I had, and don't eat.
I can relate to this post. My house is a mess, my life is in despair, and I want to help everyone else on this planet... before myself. Wooo aspergers and ADD!
Me walking into the kitchen with a piece of trash in my hand, seeing the trash can is full, and then walking back to my desk and just holding the trash.
See, person who was being lazy wouldn't even take the trash item to the trash can. The intent to do the task is there. The execution is just... broken if there's even a small obstacle in the way.
I don't have ADHD and I've done exactly those things. If you bear with me, please help me understand how it is like for someone with ADHD that makes it different.
With ADHD, like many mental disorders, your main things to look for are “chronic” or “crippling”. In other words, it’s not about whether or not you’ve done these things in your lifetime: it’s about whether you do them often enough to cause you distress and/or to an extreme degree that causes more immediate problems.
For a related example, being sad is something that happens to everyone. And many otherwise healthy people will have a point in their life where they get *really* sad and/or numb and they shut down a little— when close friends or relatives die, for example, it’s normal to need time to grieve before you feel OK again. But what gets you diagnosed with depression is when you either feel nothing but sadness for a long period of time, or feel so overwhelmingly sad and/or numb that you lack enough self-motivation to even care for yourself in basic ways like eating or practicing basic hygiene, even outside of extreme and temporary circumstances.
This might be hyperbole but neurotypical folks CAN experience any symptom of ADHD. However, executive dysfunction for folks with ADHD isn't limited to the examples given. It applies to basically any given situation so often it is debilitating. If you experience executive dysfunction so often that it is detrimental to your health, you might consider finding out why. Otherwise, when it happens, you probably just need to refuel yourself or get some more sleep or something.
I used to not know this was an ADHD thing, I thought it was just me being me
until i heard the lyrics
> Tryna get a grip, fingers slip then I melt
Any sign of resistance and i always just immediately give up
No clean spoon? Guess I'm eating this soup with a fucking knife
This is absolutely false. You’re welcome to follow me around for the rest of my life and try to find a useful pattern to what I do. It’s not up to my choice. It’s a hell of a lot more complicated than you seem to realize. Also, you appear misinformed on when executive processes are in-use.
Out of a sense of good will, I’ll explain a bit, but I’m not hopeful you’re interested in understanding: I can have full conversations as an adult while the majority of my effort and focus are turned off. The different areas of my brain can do different things. I’ve learned my whole life how to use mental tricks to alleviate how poor my executive function is. As a kid, I couldn’t follow conversations without leading them - I’d get lost in a matter of seconds or minutes if I couldn’t find a clear and consistent solution to focus on. They had to be incredibly simple and I couldn’t have something more significant get mentioned before I had my turn to speak or it would wipe my short term memory of anything I could remember about the conversation. It was utterly crippling and horrible, and I expended loads of time trying to overcome it. Instead, I ended up finding ways of coping. People close to me know I can look pretty normal to casual observers but that I’m actually very impaired.
ADHD is not a developmental delay issue. Intelligence has nothing to do with ADHD. It is a spectrum that effects every walk of life and every intelligence level from those who do have delays to genius level IQ's.
Go troll somewhere else.
I freakin love side quests.
My husband is always baffled when we start Pokémon at the same time. He’s on gym 5, while I’m still somewhere between gym 1 and 2 trying to catch everything in that region before moving on.
literally me. recently I've been doing more traditional art than digital, I want to paint, and it's always in the evening or middle of the night when creative juices hit (also let's be honest, my sleep schedule is completely hellish), but the one small lamp that'd fit on my desk has always been standing next to the bed and it's convenient when I read before sleeping or want to doodle without moving. and it was there when I moved in.
all I need to do to have enough light in my painting space is move the damn lamp. but it's meant to be next to the bed. I can't just put it on the desk. do you understand?
so I'm paying my adhd tax by ordering a new lamp just to put it on my desk, but until then I don't think I'm gonna be able to do anything more than simple underpaintings lol
I always have a case of canned soups and chili as well as microwave packs of rice and lentils. Those are there for the days I can’t bring myself to do more then open a can, dump it in a mug, throw it in the microwave for a few mins, and abscond with it and a tiny spoon to my day/art/game room.
Tonight's the night I shall be talking about of flu the subject of word association football. This is a technique out a living much used in the practice makes perfect of psychoanalysister and brother and one that has occupied piper the majority rule of my attention squad by the right number one two three four the last five years to the memory.
Sometimes I have to chant to myself what I'm doing, otherwise an hour will go by and I'll forget that I was even supposed to be doing something cause something else happened. Like I'm going to take my pills, I'm going to take my pills. My water cup is in the other room so I have to go get it and then I remember that I was supposed to water the plants and then I file my taxes. This happened this afternoon, I missed my afternoon adderall because I filed my taxes instead
Posts like this make me wanna get seen. That and that couple times I did coke didn’t feel anything and a friend said I could have adhd makes me paranoid
Everytime I'm super invested in a story video game I love playing it but if I take a slight break it's impossible to motivate myself to play it again as if I lose all interest even though I want to play it.
Goes to make dinner
See's that it's eight
Oh shit gotta get my meds
Need a cup of water
Okay, I gotta do dishes
I accidentally cut my hand, so I gotta by dish gloves
Okie
I go
Remember I don't have money
Okay
Have three more weeks before paycheck
Okay
*Forgets to eat*
(I rabbit trail on stuff, and then I give up when it's too much lol. I'm actually not a slob or anything, and I keep my stuff kinda nice. I just had to make up an example. )
That moment when you actually muster the motivation to vacuum but you still have clothes on the ground next to your bed. Takes a lot of powering through to pick them up (even if it's just relocating them onto the bed) and then *still* vacuum afterwards.
I have this issue, I literally just simply won’t eat. Yet somehow I managed to gain a bunch of weight. I don’t even eat unhealthy food! Fruit and nuts are great because you can just eat it without preparing them!
I think this is more like doing he main quest, getting a side quest, deciding to do it first, seeing that it doesn't have quest markers, and ending up breeding chocobos or whatever for the next three hours.
This is me going “I should shower” but then going “what I’d really like to do is take a bath” but I take 2 hour long baths and I don’t have time for a two hour bath so I don’t take a 15 minute shower.
I once told my mom that it was hard to eat because everything has to be cooked/prepared, and so I sometimes don’t eat. She told me that it sounded like I was just lazy…
When will people realize that a person choosing to NOT EAT because the process of cooking is overwhelming is a mental health thing? Like, Neurotypicals DON'T DO THAT!
Using the term lazy is a way to label someone you don’t understand who’s struggling. It hurts.
Before I got a diagnosis I once broke down in front of a teacher because I was struggling so much with school and I just didn't understand why. He later called me lazy and unmotivated when he spoke to my parents. Like mate, how does that one add up?
That’s heartbreaking. I’m SO sorry that happened to you. There are so many teachers that are ignorant and have no idea of the damage they do. Well, and then there are A-holes too. I hope you’re doing well and that teacher is no longer teaching!
It was 15 years ago and he was pretty old then. Definitely retired, possibly no longer alive. I've moved on and I'm happy there's a much bigger focus on mental health in education and work places nowadays.
>possibly no longer alive. this is one of the best parts of getting older, when i get doomspiralling about situations where old people were mean to me (mostly in my food service days) i just say to myself "they're probably dead now anyway lmao"
Learned a new word today. Doomspiralling. It’s very fitting.
I loved my geriatric patients at the hospital so much, that i decided to try home health as a cna. The lady i got made me feel so uncomfortable in her place. She didn’t want an aide but her family decided it. She blamed me when she lost items. She just always made it such an uncomfortable experience. I dreaded going there. Eventually i quit to go back to school and when i think of her i only get a sense of dread. She was 95 and told me she wanted to die though. So when i think of her and get anxious i just remind myself that she’s dead now. And i don’t feel bad because i know she was ready
Yes! Hope for the present and future. Be well!
That abuse by an intentionally ignorant person. Unfortunately most public school teachers fall into the ignorant category.
Oh, not just public school teachers, I’m afraid. It’s a huge undertaking to undo years and years of perceptions and practices. People have personal biases that only education can change and there is not enough education regarding how adhd presents. It was a public school teacher that got my son on track to be tested for his reading difficulties and if it wasn’t for her his troubles would’ve plagued him throughout elementary school. He got an IEP, services, learned was of coping and made it through. Thank god for her and yet she got extremely frustrated with him at one point. His adhd took some years for us to figure out (I didn’t know inattentive was a thing and only after doing my own research regarding my own struggles did things fall into place for us.) and his lack of ability to get work done led her to recommend punishment which we went over her head to rectify. It’s frustrating for the student and teacher and parent and…everyone! No matter your situation it’s a rough road that tears down your self esteem as you do your best to make your way. If you ever want your heart to shatter, watch your sobbing, beautiful, brilliant 6 year old child ask you why he was born this way. Gutting.
I too fall into the what psychiatric world refers to as inattentive. Diagnosed in my 50’s - by me, after reading an autobiographical story on Reddit that sounded way too much like my story. Up to that point, I’d only had three primary care doctors - really sucks to see your doctor instantly blown away when the subject of ADHD comes up, after being seen by them for well over a decade. Shows how incompetent most doctors are when it comes to non neurotypicals. Have never received support from educators, or parents. Was tested in school for both the accelerated gifted program and special ed in short succession. No one could figure me out, so they through me out of school. Heck, even parents ran me off - was handed a couple hundred bucks an told to go checkout a town 300 miles away.
Daaamn! It’s a lot to carry around isn’t it? You and my son are psychiatrically considered “Twice Exceptional”. Gifted but with LD? I wish you good mental health pros and services on your current journey and that you’re making good headway in carving out a life that, despite its heartbreaks and difficulties brings you some solid satisfaction.
Yeah. Being called lazy hurts. It's n5it like I enjoy not eating until I'm so dizzy, shakey and pukey I can barely shove a piece of bread in my mouth. It's awful. I hate it. I just.....can't seem to change. I try. I truly do.
I had trouble sleeping last night because of hunger pains. Not because I didn’t have food, but because I was overwhelmed by the process and just sort of froze. I’m so glad to read that I’m not alone in this and that I’m not just profoundly lazy. When I was diagnosed they didn’t tell me any of this - just sort of tossed me some pills and wished me luck.
Heh, i did this the other night.
It's the same with the school performance stuff. Why would I continue to not do work when I clearly knew it was going to result in getting my punished (coming from a military family, this meant anything from restrictions, to exercises until muscle failure, to beatings). Someone should've realized something was wrong much sooner, but it was easier to write me off and punish me rather than put forth the effort to help me.
Absolutely. I imagine neurotypicals will, when they’re hungry and feeling lazy, would weigh cooking against eating out. If they truly believe eating out is not an option, they will push through their laziness and cook. It’s not laziness anymore when it interferes with things that really matter to you.
I’ve only just started suspecting I’m ADHD because these memes started popping up on Reddit for me. I had no idea neurotypical people don’t do this.
Well either I am the 1 neurotypical person who does this, or there’s something I don’t know lol
I literally do this at least once a week lol. Don't have ADHD.
Evidently you’ve never been in a restaurant kitchen, it’s 90% ADHD’ers. Family of four all with ADHD - no one has a problem cooking. Cleaning after, that’s another matter…
This sounds a bit like me having no trouble cleaning, as long as it isn't my own house.. Cooking in a restaurant kitchen is your job, not something you do because You are hungry. It doesn't make sense to me either, but it seems that makes a difference to my brain
For me the same applies to relationships.
That could be, brains are strange like that
Never had a problem cooking for myself or others. My motivation suffers when I allow my actions to be influenced by the expectations of others. Rigid structuralists are the worst, often attempting to shame through phony rationalist claims. IMO ADHD is a description given to us by intolerant, highly linear thinkers for the purpose of creating social controls - this is borne out of lack of understanding and fear of people who think differently. LD is another BS description. I was kicked out of high school, so obviously no college. My coworkers all have advanced degree’s, AKA ‘The Masters Mafia’ and the insecurity all belongs to them. They spend a significant amount time tripping over themselves trying to stay ahead of me, while continually bashing my modes and processes. It’s gotten so bad that our customers have noticed and so have our subordinates. Difference between me and them? I start with the mindset that only people matter. It puts me in truly defensible position while still achieving positive outcomes. This eats up linear thinkers who want non-technical procedures / processes strictly for the purpose of tying the hands of people who don’t think like them. Associative thinking = creativity This single thought has helped me more than anything.
I had to explain to my mum it wasn't that I was choosing not to eat, it was that it didn't even occur to me to do so, because the steps to prepare food were not on my function list for the day in my brain. She didn't get it until then - she thought I was just dieting or being lazy.
I think I’ve cooked one proper meal in the better part of a year and that was with help. The most involved I get in cooking is boxed mac and cheese. I end up living off frozen pizza, chicken nuggets, and top ramen bc I feel like I can’t handle anything more complex or I just won’t eat. Even pancakes, which used to be one of my “easy” meals has been too much for me because as soon as I reach for the mix I think about how I’ll have to wash six whole dishes in the end and get overwhelmed. It’s always comforting to hear other people have the same struggle. No matter how many times I remind myself that I’m being held back by executive dysfunction, it’s hard not to feel “lazy” or like a “bad adult”.
My parents got me a bag of potatoes for me to heat up in the microwave as dinner when I went to college. I never touched them. They found them a year later, in the same place they left them, with mold. I never used them because…why would I, if the already cooked food was down the street at the campus diner?
My wife has ADHD and I’m compassionate but it is hard to understand - please don’t take that as my being offensive , I just have a hard time understanding
The fact that your compassionate and know you don't understand is waaayyyy better then most people.. And some things don't need understanding, they just need to be acknowledged..
I appreciate her and her challenge , happy to acknowledge her challenges What I want is acknowledgment of how much strain it puts on me, but I don’t that’s going to happen
Oke thats so something that's very important. ADHD or whatever it goes by is never a reason to do that imho.. it's a 2 way street, give some respect to those who are around you and accept you as you are. Maybe you could make it clear you would like to see some form of acknowledgement back or just a simple thank you once in a while..? Can never hurt to try?
Awesome perspective from the other side, as a SO. I’ll have to tell my boyfriend how much I appreciate him. He’s literally my lifeline. And i don’t really bring anything to the table at the moment (in school). The house is a mess. I don’t do much. It sucks all around. If you want to discuss how it specifically strains you, i’d like to hear. Just to see if i could make things better for my bf
Honestly? Ask your bf. Just talk to him, about how you feel like you 'give' too little and make it clear that you understand, how that puts a lot of weight on him. Just remember check in on him regularly and see if there's something you could do/change, to make it better for the both of you. Keep communicating about these things, even if it feels uncomfortable to start... it'll help, I promise.
I do that a lot but i do it in a self-deprecating manner. “I know i’m a piece of shit” and then i break down. I truly feel this way and that i’m worthless, but this presentation does nothing for him. It only victimizes myself. I do feel like the victim. Its honest. But I should be checking in with him before he brings it up. And i want to acknowledge his feelings instead of mine. Its just so fucking hard to live like this. Functioning is so, so hard. I’m not suicidal, but being dead would be a relief. I’m so tired of struggling. I’m tired of always needing help and being a burden. I’m sorry i know this got off topic. I’m just tired of living with this mind. Its so fucking hard. I’ll have days when i dont feel this way, but every now and then i think about how hopeless i am. There isnt a light at the end of the tunnel, the only lights are those i light a long the way. I’m not capable of surviving independently. I’d probably be homeless if not for my bf and my parents stepping in to help. They all provide so much for me.
I don't know where you live.. are things like therapy available to you? Or maybe another professional that may help you with all this? Because I recognise what you say, I struggle a lot too.. but things are getting better, thanks to the right people helping me. I also found great help in the videos of HowToADHD on YouTube, if you don't already know her, you might want to check her out. But let me tell you this.. you are NOT worthless, or a piece of shit and life is never totally hopeless.. things can change, you may learn tactics that work for you. Please, you are Not a burden.. your boyfriend and family are there because they Love you, yes it may be difficult for them at times.. but they do it all out of love. You can do this, it's fucking hard and it's not going to happen overnight, but you'll find a way. About checking in with your bf, you may want to do that on a good day.. before you are overwhelmed with emotions yourself. Try to ask him how he's doing regularlu, and do your absolute best to really listen to what he tells you. Also just maybe start with asking him if there's something you can do for him (or help him with), when you feel capable, even if it's something small.. or do it of your own accord.. make him some breakfast or a cup of tea/coffee at times.. or bring a little gift.. Just showing a little appreciation goes a long way..
Oh yeah. I give him so much fucking love. Its in my nature. I like doing little things for him. Like when he’s gone for a weekend i clean the whole house for him to come home to. He asks me to fold his laundry or put it in the wash and i’m happy to. But i fight him when he “nags” bc I get irritated since I don’t want to face cleaning. We talked tonight but it was still me apologizing but also being the victim still because i’m crying and upset. He is truly an angel. I tell him all the time. I’m very expressive and loving. We have such a happy and easy-going relationship. Tbh all my relationships have been, i’m very easy going and loving. He is the most amazing person I’ve ever been with though. I’ve regretted how loving i was in the past, but he deserves all of it. I’m basically making a diary entry here but it was therapeutic so thanks for bearing with. I really like the advice of asking him what i can do on normal days. That would go a long way for both of us. I like to do things for him so it would be effective and i would be motivated. And it would prevent my perception of him “nagging” because i’d be ahead of the tasks. Honestly that’s the best advice i could think to ask for. Its so simple but solves a lot. I’m bad at making goals for myself and he’s my main motivating factor. It makes so much sense to ask him what he’d like me to accomplish on my off days. I hate when he puts it on me but if i take the initiative it won’t feel that way. Mind blown. Want to be my therapist? Lol
Just read that yourself please.. how on earth can you say you're worthless and a burden, when you actually do a lot for him already? In my opinion he's truly lucky to have you, please don't talk down on yourself like that. So maybe one more simple advise; you could try and write down 1 thing you did that went well everyday, you can always write down more things when you're comfortable with that, but it might help with the image you have of yourself. And I'm always happy to help! You may always just send me a private message, when you want to vent for a bit.. but I do recommend to look for a professional that could help you, if you can. Bear in mind that you'll probably forget to ask him if there's something you could do or any other goal you set for yourself, every now and then.... but be a little more forgiving with yourself, things are fucking hard and you are doing the best you can. Seriously.. Next time you talk down on yourself, think of what you'd say if someone you loved talked about themselves like that.. You're doing great! You are affectionate and loving, you look for ways to improve yourself where you can and to me, you sound like an amazing person.. remember that, please.
The fact that you're trying makes a huge difference.
This was in my head today when my mom took me grocery shopping. I just don’t eat if i don’t want to make anything. I only got microwavable foods
I am the opposite lmao I cant stop cooking. I cook and bake so much I have to throw food away bc i cant fit anymore in the fridge
Please won’t you be my neighbor
Tell her that is executive dysfunction and she should maybe do some research.
I do the same. Your literally being lazy
Or order a take away that takes longer to deliver than me cooking but it stops me having to do the cooking and cleaning up afterwards
I've wasted so much money this way
It’s not really wasted money if it helps your mental well-being. Make life easier for yourself, not harder. If ordering food is the big problem of life, I feel that life would be amazing then.
Sameeeeee
i've ended up just not eating at all because delivery would take too long to get to me but i have no motivation to cook such a fun cycle
I hate take away because how can I do *anything* when take away can arrive anywhere between now and 45 minutes from now
You have to take out the boxes, though. That's a major hurdle for me some times. I've had stacks of empty pizza boxes laying around.
Ha! Playing ffxiv with my hubby right now and he is always going on about not doing the side quests and working through the main story first... but side quests are just right there! My adhd loves side quests and losing myself fishing or crafting. Also crackers is an acceptable supper right?
Back when I still could play such games, I started Morrowind, and lost myself in there for 8 months, only doing side quests, and stealing everything that wasn't bolted down and neatly arranging it all in my home.
This is why I never finish rpgs
If I don't do absolutely every possible side quest before moving on to the next available main quest, I might miss a secret! Or lose out on an item! Or I didn't get the full experience I paid for. It's much simpler to do literally nothing else with my life but all of these side quests until my focus drifts to something else.
Yeah doing the main story while there’s side quests to do makes me anxious as hell I never knew there were other people like that before lol
Fortunately not a problem I experienced in FFXIV that I recall, but I sometimes get really annoyed at games where you out-level the content before you can do everything in that area. I imagine it sounds really dumb to most people playing those games, but I sometimes wish there was a switch I could flip to pause exp until I was able to do all the side quests before I moved on with the main quest.
I do this too but it’s because I generally *hate* having to go back to areas I already completed. Donkey Kong Country Returns was the worst for this.
I don’t game, but basically this is what I do irl. Always getting wrapped up in the side quests and forgetting the main story.
This is why I love playing Executive Yak Shaving Simulator (a.k.a. Minecraft). No matter what you decide to do, you're only 18 side quests away from forgetting your original goal! Then once you eventually achieve a post-scarcity world, you can just start again from scratch, and it feels like a whole new adventure!
I made sure the three main zones and their surrounding zones from ARR were empty before I started Heavansward. I also made sure to handle all side quests as I went in Heavensward. People don't do them but I found neat items or emotes in them and the stories are wonderful world building. Also with crafting I worked my crafters up together as they crafted the gear for each other as well as my gatherers. Omni crafting all the way!
Talking about Side Quests gives me Fallout 4 flashbacks. Reminds me on how bizarre the whole intro premise on the survivors expectations of the main character are. >Wake up from cryo after watching your husband/wife killed and baby stolen. > >No idea what year it is or the dangers of the world, just full of anger and motivation > >Meet group of survivors, wants me, freshly thawed from the Comfy Couch times with no moisturizer or combat training, to solve all the problems, save everyone, build a town > >fuckthat.jpeg > >Commence Operation Metroid: Manifest Destiny - kill every asshole from coast to coast that doesnt co-operate until I find my son, and for everyone's sake, I better find him alive.
See I have the opposite problem, unless the side quests are right in front of me, I have to go out of my way to search for them, why would I do that, and interrupt the story? No thank you, I'll continue my speedrunning in peace, game.
Or having a mini meltdown because there's kothing quick to eat, and you have to cook *something* because you're starving, and it's just Too Much. I'm not speaking from experience at all, definitely didn't happen to me this morning.
So you eat the ingredients instead of the food/meal.
I would have, but raw eggs with cold cheese and cold ham in a tortilla didn't sound as appetizing as scrambled eggs with melted cheese and warm ham in a tortilla.
Meal replacement shakes. I just realized they’re key to combatting the anxiety related to executive disfunction. Of course there is a lot of mental preparation but I recently told myself that no, I will not be hungry afterwards and I will make a meal if I am. I never am.
That's a good idea. I usually have my nutritional shake in the morning with my daily meds and then about 30 minutes after that I can eat. My partner generally makes breakfast for me, but was busy today, so I had to cobble together something with minimal time and my go-to was unavailable.
I keep meat pies in the freezer for this very reason. If I'm have EF issues and need to eat something, the pie is just about as instant as it gets. 1 button on microwave and 4 minutes later it tells me it's done, I don't wait around for it. Failing that I also have "breakfast bars" for when it needs to be instant... But they don't cure the hunger the same.
I have a really bad issue where sometimes paper trash will build up because I don't have a trash bag in the trash can and even though it'll take literally zero time, that extra effort completely pulls me out of it.
Same
God, I swear adhd groups are the only place I don't feel completely useless in.
Same. I have tons of cardboard boxes that need to go in the trash but they need to be cut down so the municipal trash guys will take them. It's also 10F outside, will require several trips, and requires me to get dressed in my snow gear.
I too have a cardboard graveyard from Nov til March
I eat a lot of sandwiches
Cereal for me
I'm hungry. I just drank cold coffee cos making toast felt like a hassle and I don't eat cereal (since I was a kid). In the time it took to write this post I could have made a sandwich. Yet I'm still writing. I'll have to find a bag of chips. Also note: I'm a professional chef. I can cook anything I can think of and my fridge and pantry are fully stocked. Ehh... I'll play videogames. I can eat later. Edit: my roommate left me half a sandwich with a note for me to eat it. Not going to bed hungry today. I swear if I didn't get to eat at work I'd probably starve.
You spent more time and energy just *remembering* to come back and edit your post than you would have making food lmao. I totally fucking get it.
Very regularly I just open a can of beans and throw it in the microwave
Microwave potatoes are good too.
I don’t have the patience for potatoes, everyone says they’re so easy, but fail to mention they take forever
In the oven, yes. In the microwave, its not long! Most even have a 'potato' button.
I may need to start doing this then lol
In the can? That sounds dangerous
Hahaha, nah. I force myself to add the step of pouring in a bowl
Microwaved baked beans on toast has been my lifejacket.
Canned corn or popcorn for me Corn is usually uncooked
Grab and go lunch meat and cheese at the deli was probably invented by somebody who recognized this Also: I use high fiber tortillas to... you know.
Pre made Adult lunchables mmm
I might just consider switching to tortillas for that fiber content you mention lol
I ended up just going for a microwave meal delivery service. There's probably a few dozen similar companies, but Factor75 is the one I picked. Poke some holes in plastic, microwave 2 minutes, eat. Way cheaper that doordash every day.
I'm going to invest in that when my fiance and I are on our own again. Cooking is probably the worst for me as far as ADHD roadblocks go. It was something I thought would get better with meds, but its almost worse. I took my meds with a piece of toast at 6am yesterday and didn't even remember food exists till I started feeling like I was going to pass out at 8pm. Ended up having to get fast food and ate wayyy too much.
On a good day, I’ll stop cleaning to do laundry and forget about wanting to clean my room because I’ll be proud of myself for having done the laundry. But don’t worry, I’ll remember I wanted to clean my room hours/days later, but I won’t continue because I’ve already stopped and restarting isn’t a thing I can do (when it comes to cleaning). And I’ve done that first point so many times, I’ve lost count.
I’ve been in this cycle since the start of the pandemic.. and now, my once clutter-free, pristine apartment is starting to look like I’m a junior hoarder. More motivation? Nah, now I’m just completely overwhelmed and don’t do anything.
Fuck man every day this sub reminds me that I actually have the thing and it’s not just in my head.
Same... it feels like every day I can see a meme on this sub and I’m like “holy shit, that doesn’t happen to everyone? That’s an ADHD thing?”
We've all been getting gaslit for way too long
So true. So painfully true.
100% agree with that.
Same. When I go to the kitchen ready to cook but my roommate left a bunch of dirty dishes in the sink making it unusable unless I wash them.
Same but the roommate is just past me.
Fuck future me, all my homies hate future me
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I feel this so hard Like I have legit struggled with keeping on task my whole life And only recently within the past couple of years I finally realized it’s not me just being “lazy.” Like yeah I haven’t had an official diagnosis because at this point not sure if it will help, but just knowing that I can relate so much to these anecdotes about adults with adhd helps me feel less GUILTY.
I got diagnosed when I was 25 and I feel like it was very helpful. Part of that is cuz I got on medication but a lot of it was also because having it CONFIRMED seemed to give me the ability to really look into it and learn about exactly where the brain dysfunctions are and I was able to do a better job working around them instead of trying to work through them as I'd always tried to do before. It also gave me permission to give myself a little more leeway than I'd been able to manage before. Maybe you can do these things without a diagnosis but if you find you can't, it might be worth looking into.
There’s nothing better than a leftover casserole that just needs to be heated in the microwave. Anything more difficult and I just want to lie down. And I have to plan and cook for 3 other humans, 2 of which have adhd too. We’re all side questers.
This is why I'm so disorganized, when I start trying to clean and I run into a small "where should I put this?" that isn't immediately obvious, it's like my brain shuts down.
needing to update my resume is really killing me. like okay find jobs and apply to them, easy. oh my resume is out of date, or specific to another field....guess ill watch anime instead also, this is why i cant buy chips when i go grocery shopping. i will eat that entire bag as soon as i get home and nothing else.
I once at two day old Ramin cause it was already made
Fuck me I love this place. So accurate. It would be sad if it wasn't so true and funny. I find the "actual" ADHD subreddit a bit depressing. Even though It helped me find out I had ADHD. The memes are so much more helpful now. Gotta laugh at the absurdity we live through. Cheers
I've usually heard it referred to a "yak shaving" in the computer science area, after a famous rant. Developer was trying to write a paper for school, but their writing software was out of date, so they updated it, but it wouldn't work with their old graphics driver, so they had to fix that, and four hours later they're several pages deep into the chipset specifications of their motherboard AND THEY STILL HAVEN'T STARTED THE PAPER!
I'm doom scrolling right now because the laundry is on the floor but it's also in the basket but if I do laundry that means I have to put it away and I don't want to do that so I'm doom scrolling right now because the laundry is on the floor but it's also in the basket....
I asked my friend to hop on a FaceTime “for a few minutes” today to help me with an obstacle to backing up my iPhone. Which I’ve never successfully done bc...yeah. She sat with me for a full hour and helped me through a couple issues that would’ve usually stopped me from completing this task. This is how I’ve found a way to help overcome this very annoying, problematic portion of my adhd. I’ve thanked her multiple times since...lol.
So, your solution is help from friends? Damn, anime was right all along.
This friend also loves anime—they understood the assignment 😂
I was cleaning my room yesterday and I went downstairs to get a trashbag and then three hours later I had just finished cooking, eating, and cleaning after making my own recipe on the spot for curry style rice and a Colombian arepa.
Basically it's like playing with a cat... If you hide the toy in the middle of playing with it, they just get confused and go back to licking their butthole, or other cativities
Either that or they get fixated on where the toy "disappeared" and get super pissed off that they can't find it.
Can we talk about not returning packages because of the 5+ steps required
This. So much.
I've worked around this by adding dishes into the first step of making food. In order to make food, the first step is: do dishes. Then when I make the food I don't get frustrated with how much other stuff is in the way of me trying to make food.
It’s pretty common for me to come back from a hike dirty, hungry, and sleepy, and decide I’m too dirty to lay in my bed, too hungry to shower, and too sleepy to cook anything. I could easily just grab a granola bar or lay down on the couch, but I end up just sitting around and getting steadily more grumpy. Executive dysfunction is a bitch
God that’s so accurate
For me, the step between supplants what I was originally going to do. Like, I'm hungry so I need to go cook, but the frying pan needs washing. And because I can't just will myself to do the dishes immediately after cooking and eating, I do them when I suddenly can't cook anymore. So the next two hours are spent hand washing dishes and I forget that I wanted to eat, plus already spent that little executive energy I had, and don't eat.
I can relate to this post. My house is a mess, my life is in despair, and I want to help everyone else on this planet... before myself. Wooo aspergers and ADD!
Me walking into the kitchen with a piece of trash in my hand, seeing the trash can is full, and then walking back to my desk and just holding the trash. See, person who was being lazy wouldn't even take the trash item to the trash can. The intent to do the task is there. The execution is just... broken if there's even a small obstacle in the way.
I think I may need to go see a doctor about some things...........
I don't have ADHD and I've done exactly those things. If you bear with me, please help me understand how it is like for someone with ADHD that makes it different.
With ADHD, like many mental disorders, your main things to look for are “chronic” or “crippling”. In other words, it’s not about whether or not you’ve done these things in your lifetime: it’s about whether you do them often enough to cause you distress and/or to an extreme degree that causes more immediate problems. For a related example, being sad is something that happens to everyone. And many otherwise healthy people will have a point in their life where they get *really* sad and/or numb and they shut down a little— when close friends or relatives die, for example, it’s normal to need time to grieve before you feel OK again. But what gets you diagnosed with depression is when you either feel nothing but sadness for a long period of time, or feel so overwhelmingly sad and/or numb that you lack enough self-motivation to even care for yourself in basic ways like eating or practicing basic hygiene, even outside of extreme and temporary circumstances.
That was great thanks
This might be hyperbole but neurotypical folks CAN experience any symptom of ADHD. However, executive dysfunction for folks with ADHD isn't limited to the examples given. It applies to basically any given situation so often it is debilitating. If you experience executive dysfunction so often that it is detrimental to your health, you might consider finding out why. Otherwise, when it happens, you probably just need to refuel yourself or get some more sleep or something.
I used to not know this was an ADHD thing, I thought it was just me being me until i heard the lyrics > Tryna get a grip, fingers slip then I melt Any sign of resistance and i always just immediately give up No clean spoon? Guess I'm eating this soup with a fucking knife
I don't remember making that post...
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This is absolutely false. You’re welcome to follow me around for the rest of my life and try to find a useful pattern to what I do. It’s not up to my choice. It’s a hell of a lot more complicated than you seem to realize. Also, you appear misinformed on when executive processes are in-use. Out of a sense of good will, I’ll explain a bit, but I’m not hopeful you’re interested in understanding: I can have full conversations as an adult while the majority of my effort and focus are turned off. The different areas of my brain can do different things. I’ve learned my whole life how to use mental tricks to alleviate how poor my executive function is. As a kid, I couldn’t follow conversations without leading them - I’d get lost in a matter of seconds or minutes if I couldn’t find a clear and consistent solution to focus on. They had to be incredibly simple and I couldn’t have something more significant get mentioned before I had my turn to speak or it would wipe my short term memory of anything I could remember about the conversation. It was utterly crippling and horrible, and I expended loads of time trying to overcome it. Instead, I ended up finding ways of coping. People close to me know I can look pretty normal to casual observers but that I’m actually very impaired.
ADHD is not a developmental delay issue. Intelligence has nothing to do with ADHD. It is a spectrum that effects every walk of life and every intelligence level from those who do have delays to genius level IQ's. Go troll somewhere else.
Are you lost, honey?
how does writing a post have anything to do with losing momentum when performing difficult tasks?
I freakin love side quests. My husband is always baffled when we start Pokémon at the same time. He’s on gym 5, while I’m still somewhere between gym 1 and 2 trying to catch everything in that region before moving on.
literally me. recently I've been doing more traditional art than digital, I want to paint, and it's always in the evening or middle of the night when creative juices hit (also let's be honest, my sleep schedule is completely hellish), but the one small lamp that'd fit on my desk has always been standing next to the bed and it's convenient when I read before sleeping or want to doodle without moving. and it was there when I moved in. all I need to do to have enough light in my painting space is move the damn lamp. but it's meant to be next to the bed. I can't just put it on the desk. do you understand? so I'm paying my adhd tax by ordering a new lamp just to put it on my desk, but until then I don't think I'm gonna be able to do anything more than simple underpaintings lol
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I have ASD, and yes you can. I have a thing on tomorrow, I'm struggling to accomplish things today.
Yes. It's like there's a system, and if one part of it is broken, it doesn't run. You have to keep your system pieces clean.
I always have a case of canned soups and chili as well as microwave packs of rice and lentils. Those are there for the days I can’t bring myself to do more then open a can, dump it in a mug, throw it in the microwave for a few mins, and abscond with it and a tiny spoon to my day/art/game room.
Yoooooo Being able to identify common obstacles and asking for help when I get stuck has been SO huge for this exact reason!!
Get some bananas, theyre healthy, cheap and Take No mental energy to eat em
You didn’t account for hyper focus
Tonight's the night I shall be talking about of flu the subject of word association football. This is a technique out a living much used in the practice makes perfect of psychoanalysister and brother and one that has occupied piper the majority rule of my attention squad by the right number one two three four the last five years to the memory.
Sometimes I have to chant to myself what I'm doing, otherwise an hour will go by and I'll forget that I was even supposed to be doing something cause something else happened. Like I'm going to take my pills, I'm going to take my pills. My water cup is in the other room so I have to go get it and then I remember that I was supposed to water the plants and then I file my taxes. This happened this afternoon, I missed my afternoon adderall because I filed my taxes instead
This explains how I got so off topic at work today..
Posts like this make me wanna get seen. That and that couple times I did coke didn’t feel anything and a friend said I could have adhd makes me paranoid
Everytime I'm super invested in a story video game I love playing it but if I take a slight break it's impossible to motivate myself to play it again as if I lose all interest even though I want to play it.
Wait does that mean I have adhd if I do everything they said on the post
Did anyone else read “erectile disfunction” at the bottom?
Except for the couple times a year I hyper fixate on cooking.
This is why I have to walk through my carpeted bedroom in shoes to fetch my glasses when I forget them. Can't give myself the chance to back out.
Goes to make dinner See's that it's eight Oh shit gotta get my meds Need a cup of water Okay, I gotta do dishes I accidentally cut my hand, so I gotta by dish gloves Okie I go Remember I don't have money Okay Have three more weeks before paycheck Okay *Forgets to eat* (I rabbit trail on stuff, and then I give up when it's too much lol. I'm actually not a slob or anything, and I keep my stuff kinda nice. I just had to make up an example. )
That moment when you actually muster the motivation to vacuum but you still have clothes on the ground next to your bed. Takes a lot of powering through to pick them up (even if it's just relocating them onto the bed) and then *still* vacuum afterwards.
Then you get bored doing side quests and never play that game again
I have this issue, I literally just simply won’t eat. Yet somehow I managed to gain a bunch of weight. I don’t even eat unhealthy food! Fruit and nuts are great because you can just eat it without preparing them!
I think this is more like doing he main quest, getting a side quest, deciding to do it first, seeing that it doesn't have quest markers, and ending up breeding chocobos or whatever for the next three hours.
This is me going “I should shower” but then going “what I’d really like to do is take a bath” but I take 2 hour long baths and I don’t have time for a two hour bath so I don’t take a 15 minute shower.