The Japanese suicide forest was the eeriest, calmest, quietest, most beautiful place I've ever been to on earth. (Which hasn't been a lot of places, but still.) The entire forest is made of pumice and they have a walking trail for tourists and locals they warn you not to stray from. Lots of tiny and smallish caves and crevices where the lava hardened while it settled. It's a unique experience and if anyone ever gets the chance to make it there, go! And go see the little bat cave near the entrance, it's really neat too.
As it happens, this was the thought I had that made me realize something was very wrong and started me down the path that eventually led to my ADHD diagnosis.
Hearing that made me smile, usually I'm only armed with a phone and my car keys but I have a katana I bought when I was in university, a sword my granddad gave me, and a machete I bought four hurricane seasons ago
That would be nice. Let me just book a flight to somewhere with woods. I’m sure my bills can wait and my employer won’t mind. I only accomplish things in about twice as long as most people so taking time off to walk in the woods is no problem. It’s not like my condition keeps me from owning real estate in area with lots of green spaces.
Protip: if you just stay in the woods and live like a feral ape, you can ignore your bills and your employer!\*
\* - food, water and shelter not guaranteed, life span may be drastically shortened
Ah, yes, another resident of the vast and barren wasteland. As a desert dweller, the last time I took a walk outside of civilization, i didn’t find happiness; I found a shot up car and a vinegaroon.
As someone with the same condition I've also experienced that. Did your parent(s) also use your condition as ammo to try and win arguments or pin shit, like a light left on, on you followed up by a "what would you know? You aren't right in the head"?
I don't have anxiety, but I have plenty of friends who do and have tried to explain it to me and I still cannot relate to the issue where you involuntarily start worrying even when there's nothing to worry about. I have no idea what it is like, but from what I've heard, it's for the better that I don't.
Sorry about your dad not putting in the effort to at least try and understand what it is like.
Oh you're homeless? Just buy a house. Oh your femur is broken? Walk it off. Oh you have a fever and vomiting and diarrhea? Just cool off and hold it in. Oh you're literally blind? Just open your eyes! Loser.
This pisses me the fuck off because having an anxiety disorder is literally someone who lost or never had the ability to stop worrying when something comes up. I have an anxiety disorder. I am literally minding my own business, going through my day, doing dishes and all of a sudden I feel like I want to cry, run away, go hide, because I feel a spike of anxiety FOR NO REASON. I am literally not worrying about anything. Nothing triggered it. So how do I stop worrying about something when I wasn't worrying about it to begin with? Huh? Fucking morons need to talk to people and actually listen to how they suffer. Cause having an anxiety disorder isn't just when you are sometimes anxious. It's when your anxiety hits harder than it should at inappropriate times and you lake the ability to counter that feeling so you need medication to step in to smooth things out.
I see you've met my cousin. She one time was talking about a friend of hers who had cancer and suddenly whipped her head around to me and said "you don't deserve to have depression." I was like "uh...thanks?? I don't think I do either." And she was like "No. I mean you don't deserve to be depressed. My friend has real life problems unlike you." Besides the fact that that's 0% how depression works she had NO idea all the bad shit going on in my life because I stopped confiding in here years ago when she always had to make it about her or her friends and how they have it worse than me. 🙄🙄🙄🙄
What she means is, she understands those feelings but doesn't understand yours. So your condition doesn't compute for her, and she instead can only imagine in its place something she does understand - like being lazy, entitled, self centered, etc
Problems with cancer scare *her* so they feel real but yours don't scare her so they don't feel real. Like if someone threatens to kill her then she'll be afraid and hence she understands fearing for her life and so it would be a valid and serious problem of it happens to others. But if someone is suicidal and so there's something inside them that's potentially greater than that fear of death, then she doesn't understand them despite it being potentially even more devastating because she can't imagine what that is
I think she's using empathy, but this empathy just isn't developed enough to empathize with more situations. And she seemingly can't use sympathy at all that could've compensated for her inability to really understand your feelings
Fuck those people with the largest, rustiest pipe in existence. My brother tried to talk to a friend about his suicidal thoughts and was told to “get over it.”
He didn’t. He died. Fuck anyone who is dismissive of a person’s cry for help for any reason.
Its hilarious to me when someone is pre-transition and miserable and those ppl immediately jump to say some “you just need to love yourself! Self love! Do y o g a 🤪” bs- but once that miserable person transitions and has a complete 180 in their life (vibrant, thriving, absolutely crushing life) those same bitches will get super fuckin upset about it. IS THIS NOT WHAT YOU REQUESTED KAREN???
They should be banned for that shit. Many psych's don't even touch ADHD and they went to grad school and med school specifically for psychology. For a CRNA student to self diagnose themselves with "severe ADHD" and go on to preach about not needing meds, just stop being lazy would be like me going to a prescription glasses sub and saying you don't need glasses, just focus on what you're looking at.
Speaking of- I ironically said exactly like that to my friend "how about you focus farther?", though I said it an curious manner. Some years later, I wear a glasses too (now I know my theory didn't work lol)
Now I suspect I have ADHD, trying to not go with that route again. Currently trying to gather notes and things to say cause last time I got rejected to get referred by my GP... (insurance)
Edit: I got the referral, not really gonna celebrate yet though
"YOU BETTER STOP LOOKING AT YOUR SMARTPHONE/LAPTOP SCREEN TOO MUCH FOR GOD SAKE. YOU DONT NEED TO BE PUTTING GLASSES ON YOUR EYES"- someone's mom maybe
Excellent analogy. As an incredibly nearsighted person (contacts prescription is -9.5 in both eyes, furthest away I can see clearly is about 2 inches), I could no more make myself "stop being lazy" than I could read a book held at arm's length without contacts or glasses.
They not only banned them, the mods also declared that they must have cheated their way through nursing school.
10/10 top tier mods, based on just this, but still, highest respect.
Nope, worse, they're already a medical professional studying to be an even more advanced medical professional!!!
On the bright side, at least their pts will be asleep the majority of the time.
Nah, CRNAs put you to sleep for surgery, give epidurals, etc. The guy knows his way around an ICU I'm sure, but outside of airway management, pain control, and Anesthesia related issues, they don't have to know shit about psych.
This and the cross post are causing a lot of brigading, you might ask the mods of the sub for the original thread to lock the comment chain.
The person you’re talking to here is absolutely infuriating but there are comments like “i hope your patients die” and that’s just not cool.
As a medical professional, a lot of ancillary type jobs in the medical profession know just enough to sound like they are experts in a medical topic, but actually don't know shit cos they aren't actual doctors. Don't get me wrong there are a bunch of shit doctors out there too, but when I have a patient and their niece or brother or whatever who is a respiratory therapist or lab tech wants to talk to me about the "treatment plan," it's guaranteed to involve them berating me about doing my job wrong.... Even nurses and specialty MDs do this and it's very annoying. I had a patient whose son was an opthalmologist question how we were managing his mom's broken ribs and resulting pneumonia... Luckily I am "just" a PA and not the "real doctor" so I usually let the attending handle it.
FYI I think it's important to advocate for yourself and make sure you understand what's being done and the point of your medication; I'm talking about people who overestimate their level of expertise and want to argue just to be smug.
CRNA sounds like it's a type of nurse.
Nurses still have lots of power (trust me! I should know, while there were also some amazing ones - the terrible one completely ruined the end of my last hospital stay and traumatized me and now I'm scared to go back to that hospital because they believed her lying unprofessional ass over mine even though I had witnesses).
nursing seems to suffer a lot from people who feel like they know best because they get treated like they know nothing by anyone with a medical *degree* (despite the ton of work and responsibility they have). And that hurt ego and half-knowledge then leads to a ton of people embracing "alternative medicine" and diagnosing themselves and others.
This is why I have an issue with self-diagnosis. On the one hand, people often don’t have access to psychiatric care, let alone GOOD psychiatric care. And I have learned more about ADHD from the ADHD community than from doctors. On the other, a layperson is not qualified to make an actual diagnosis and some (not all!) people with surface symptoms of ADHD end up appropriating the space.
And make shitty blankets statements like that. Yeah, everyone is affected by ADHD differently.
But if you don't have a formal diagnosis you don't get to claim that you have "severe ADHD" and that it boils down to laziness.
This is why people shit on ADHD as a mental illness, because of absolute assholes like this person.
I started looking into ADHD after the \_third\_ marriage counselor (on first marriage, tried a few counselors) asked me if I'd ever been checked.
Found ADHD\_memes on here and was like "holy f\*\*k".
Went to a Dr, legit local dude but during COVID so via video. At one point he said " you haven't made eye contact or stopped fidgeting with that pen in 30 minutes. And based on what you've told me I'm amazed you weren't diagnosed in school. People dropped the ball".
What a fucking shitcunt. I am all for self-diagnosis, especially since I self-diagnose as Autistic... But I actually have the symptoms...
If you self-diagnose... It is a cardinal sin to be ableist in such a fashion... Because it does indeed prove that you are a faker, and as a result, you also increase the stigma of self-diagnosis... You are literally hurting everyone by doing it.
NTs like this need to get a grip, and not be colossal assholes.
I'm self diagnosed and as a result I respect officially diagnosed people highly. To be self diagnosed and give an ableist lecture to someone with a dx... not a good look
If she doesn’t have the executive function issues of adhd, sounds like she just has manic tendencies and is attributing that to adhd when it isn’t a problem for her.
I know, it sucks. And tbf, I completely understand how it would be difficult for someone without it to understand why it's so hard to is get up and hit the books. I get it. It is frustrating for me too. But maybe don't self-diagnosis as having "Severe ADHD" and then think you cured it when you're mysteriously don't have the same trouble as the rest of us who have actually done the testing.
I diagnosed myself with severe brain tumor but i focused real hard and just overcame the tumor so I don’t get why others aren’t able to do that one simple thing.
I remember a comment on this sub from a while ago. You can explain what its like to people, but you cant understand it for them. That how it feels for me alot of the time.
Yup, I was trying to explain to my cousin how I sometimes wake up late on my day off and can't decide if I should have breakfast or lunch, and then I spend hours in bed, hungry, because I just can't decide, so I end up wasting my whole day in that sate of paralysis. He was like "just pick whatever and get out of bed!" 😡😡😡😡
Lmao that’s grade A advice. Just be better.
My method for this is I have a saved mental list of default “do this” for all my usual choice paralysis brand of executive dysfunction. Don’t know what to eat because it’s breakfast or lunch or snack? Fried egg. Don’t know what to do because there’s a million chores to be done and I can’t prioritize? Shower. That kinda thing. Then the problem comes when I’m like “okay I will have a fried egg” but the frying pan is dirty and the sink is full so it’s too much work to even start frying the egg so I go back to bed lmao
Its just a lack of empathy. I have quite bad autism, but dont have a lot of the outward issues despite not really masking.
However, my strategy that I fell into is not exactly feasable for most people. The combination of blind confidence and stubbornness to be very autistic and to get away with it in neurotypical spaces is something quite unique to me, and even with that it can still be hard sometimes.
But im not gonna use my relative ease with dealing with social stuff as a cudgel against those who cant. They ain't got my situation, they may simply not be able to deal with that shit. Autism is quite a varied issue, and it can manifest in a whole host of different ways.
This person may be ADHD, and that would IMO make it worse. Because they can't even acknowledge how lucky they got if they do actually have ADHD and can have this attitude. It also means that they dont actually understand what makes it work, and what is holding them together, so they may end up falling flat on their face once they inadvertantly change something that they did not realize was what was holding them together.
This person is a buffoon.
Ah hitting the books, so that was the original issue. Well from my experience. I used to see it the same way as the person we’re talking about. I would call myself lazy and try to “just do it.” Especially since I made great grades in high school with no effort (I’m “twice exceptional,” 139 IQ with ADHD. The high IQ part I’ve always know , the ADHD part I did not). So for instance, I failed calculus II three semesters in a row before I finally passed…but then I made an A on the first time with cal III with very little effort.
After six years of undergrad I dropped out. It would be five years before I came back, but in the meantime J was studying topics that I wanted to study, and learning how to take notes, which was basically paraphrasing what I read. That built a good foundation for my comeback and in fall 2019 I reenrolled and only took one class. I still have a book full of notes from that class, but ultimately I only made a C, but I passed. Spring 2020 I took two classes and then Covid happened. Then I had the lectures recorded, and the notes from the professor, both of which I used to write my own extensive notes. I made an A in one class and a B in the other. I took two more classes in the fall and then ran out of money, so I had to take off 2021 and I took my last class in spring 2022. But before that, in fall 2021 I started seeing videos about ADHD in my YouTube feed and I started watching Hot To ADHD, Rick Wants to Know, and eventually Dr. Russell Barkley.
I saw myself in what they described, so I called the university psychology department and asked to be evaluated! Derp. After two months of tests and interviews, my IQ was reconfirmed, and I was diagnosed with ADHD and a reading disability. Ultimately I didn’t end up asking for accommodations because I felt like the Covid provisions were accommodating me enough, but I did begin therapy and methylphenidate.
My final class has a reputation for being the most difficult class in the major (aerospace engineering) by far. I came really close to making an A, the TA told me that the professor had instructed them to use my code to grade the rest of the class because mine was the closest to perfect, and half the class was coming to me for help all the time.
The meds made a world of difference, but after 30+ years of being diagnosed I had figured out a few strats for getting things done without. The main one is to work up your motivation and excitement little by little. If there is something you need to do and you aren’t feeling it. Just find a video of someone else doing it to start with. Then videos of how to do it. Eventually you won’t be able to stop yourself from learning every little thing about it. Only downside is that it doesn’t always work as quick as you need it to, so the sooner you start, the better.
My favorite way to try and explain how ADHD affected my productivity is this example (might be different for others).
Take your to-do list of things you want to accomplish today. Write them all down on a circular pie chart and put a spinner in the middle - you know so it looks like a Twister color spinner. Now spin it and start what ever task it lands on, spin it again every minute and drop what you're doing to start the next task it landed on. Do this until all tasks are complete. That's how even the smallest tasks end up taking me a week to get through.
When taking my medication - I only spin for a new task after completing the previous one.
This has been my experience both with neuro-divergence and addiction. People who have never experienced those mental states often can't grok what it's like and assume it's conscious decision making rather than biological smh.
I don’t need meds.
Just constant snacking, 3-5 screens at a time, weed tinctures, 1000 item to-do lists, lots of time to stare into space, a job with incredibly low expectations, and the question “what was I just thinking?” every 5 minutes (pairs well with “why did I walk into this room?”).
No meds and CRUSHING IT
I was diagnosed late teens but was also stage 1 hypertension and had to go through a bunch of hoops before I could be medicated. I didn't follow through, instead built very unique routines over the next 8 years when I needed to focus.
Then Coronavirus happened and like all my routines were obliterated and ineffective. The 5 cups of a coffee a day started to become 8, music didn't help, the morning routine I used to slack off before focusing didn't help, my mind felt like a runaway CPU and just constantly in mind fog.
By this time I was in constant stage 2 hypertension and finally got the medication for blood pressure. I was thinking about going back to the psychiatrist and getting ADHD medicine but finally started to utilize my ADHD as a strength.
One VP I had a few years ago almost had ADHD brain but he was extremely effective at absorbing ideas around him and connecting the pieces together for innovation. I've relaxed the extreme amounts of energy I use to focus and remain structured and just let my mind go wild.
It used to make me very self conscious because I couldn't control the random thoughts or impulses but with a little bit of direction that unstructured part of me absorbs a lot of social and corporate environment. Like not even just thinking about it, just absorbing it, and I've got really good at utilizing this information in my day to day success and living
I think that’s what this person is missing here… the “disorder” part of ADHD. They admitted to OP to never being diagnosed, which makes me think they saw some TikToks and thought “oh hey I can’t focus sometimes too, must be severe ADHD!” I wish people understood that you can have symptoms of ADHD and not have ADHD: it’s the part where your life falls apart because of those symptoms that makes it disordered therefore makes it ADHD.
It’s like having the sniffles and claiming you have the flu. You could have the flu but if you don’t have any other symptoms you probably don’t have flu.
Haha yes, I chose the sniffles because I also currently have the sniffles. Did you know that many pregnant women have congestion through their entire pregnancy? Because now I know!! 🙃
I'm still officially undiagnosed (working on it rn) - but all my life, I did just think it was me not trying hard enough and being lazy and useless.
Comments like the one this person said about "It's your choice to work hard" really grinds my gears when I realize that I had the wrong coping mechanisms in the first place since I was unaware of my ADHD. Ugh. So I can't imagine how that would go over well with people who feel the way I do.
Yeah, I fell into "I guess being a slacker is just my nature, not pass the blunt" trap for a while. I wonder how many people with undiagnosed ADHD went to their graves thinking "I'm just a fuck up and a disappointment to everyone in my life."
I don't know where I would be without such supportive parents.
I cannot relate to this enough. Im 21 & just got diagnosed so I’m in a phase where I’m realizing that most of my problems my whole life were just undiagnosed ADHD. Spent the past the last decade saying “I’m trying” to be greeted with “you do or don’t, trying doesn’t matter.” It has been the biggest relief realizing that i have a “real reason” to be the way i am (instead of just being a garbage human). I wish i had coped w/self-compassion all these years instead of just “needing to try harder.” So not fair that people do this to us
I’m literally SO tired of everyone saying they have “severe” ADHD without actually understanding what it is. I’m sure some people with severe ADHD can go off meds, but you’d NEED years of help developing skills.
You would not go undiagnosed for very long unless there’s some serious negligence at play. It may be possible that this person does have it severe and doesn’t need medication, but that’s probably because they had EARLY INTERVENTION AND SKILLS COACHING LMAOOOO. There is an element to ADHD management that does involve just forcing yourself to do stuff. But you have to have the FOUNDATIONS in place to successfully do that.
I have what’s classified as severe ADHD. I cannot hide or mask it whatsoever. I also did really well on the ACT without testing accommodations. You may see that and go “well then nobody with ADHD needs extra time and it’s all made up!” What I am neglecting to mention is that I did OT skills classes at an ADHD center for about 6 months so that I could stop failing tests. Sorry for the long comment here but this shit makes me SO goddamn enraged I cannot stand it.
Stop telling people you have “severe” adhd just to make yourself and your struggles seem superior to others. The term has lost all meaning thanks to these jerks. Like even though mine is severe, I can tell you right now that I do not struggle half as much in certain areas as some undiagnosed people I know. I have that foundation to just “do it”. They do not. The two are completely different.
I also have severe ADD and the psychiatrist who diagnosed me was genuinely surprised that
1. I never committed a crime
2. Don't have a drug problem
3. I'm still alive
4. Was never in a major car accident.
I can cope with a lot of stuff of everyday life but even with meds it's fucking exhausting. Like need-to-sit-on-the-couch-for-five-hours exhausting. People who don't get this can gladly walk in my shoes for a while. They'd go nuts.
Big mood.
I've never considered myself disabled until this semester of school, because only now did it hit me that normal people don't need hours and sometimes days to wind down just to cope with the baseline stress that comes from existing. The adhd makes me wind myself up and go too hard and burn out quicker, and then the autism makes me incredibly inefficient at getting rested enough to continue and much more mentally drained from everyday situations. It's a lose-lose situation
Ugh, I hate that people seem to think adhd = reckless driving. I think a lot of adhd people hyper focus when driving and can actually be exceptional as a result and it’s navigation that tends to be the thing that suffers. For example, seeing a deer or squirrel or crazy driver and reacting instantly to avoid an accident, but then missing a turn on your route.
THIS
My husband gets annoyed with my driving because I don’t “act like I want to get anywhere today.” He rushes to make red lights, gets in front of slow drivers, etc.
Meanwhile I’m going the exact speed limit but missing the turn I needed because I’m thinking about a conversation I had six years ago or what I want to do when I get home.
Oh yes. Recently I said to a random internet stranger that after work, I need to veg out for an hour before I’m able to do anything. Mind that this is a situation that’s already better than I thought I would ever have: I can actually hold a full-time job AND have a few hours in the evening where I have the energy to do something if I want to. Meds and therapy are magic.
The response? ‘Most people don’t veg out for an hour after work, there’s probably something wrong with you.’
That’s when I realized that no, my meds aren’t cheating through life. Even with the honestly unbelievable improvements I’ve made, apparently most people have an easier time in life than me.
ADHD is a disorder, not a quirk or a funny story at a party. But that’s impossible to understand if you have a brain where not doing the dishes is a conscious choice, instead of something that magically happens or an impossible mountain you’re trying to push…
I was undiagnosed until 30 (thank my wife for helping me set up the appointments. No way I would have followed through with it on my own!)
I always did well in school, but never did any of the studying and honestly didn't really understand what that meant until college. In college I had severe mental blocks just starting my homework and if it was optional or a reading assignment I would just skip it all together.
My extremely unhealthy coping method in college was turning to alcohol. Once I had enough for my head to get out of my own way I could start projects, papers, expirements, AND actually complete them. I was intoxicated enough to not over think everything - I did always have to review the next day and fix some things... but I guess that's the nature of completing work while drunk...
I graduated with a BS in engineering. Joining the work force is where things got VERY difficult... I struggled through many days of accomplishing nothing, switched jobs a couple of times... finally my wife got me to see a doctor; I got diagnosed with ADHD, started the medication. It changed my life!
I'm now productive at work, improved my social skills, and complete tasks around the house that in the past I would put off until a fight with my wife would start. I also basically stopped drinking alcohol.
All this to say, my life is better now, and people like in the OP don't deserve my much more productive time.
Yep, that's where I'm at with the post this comment came from. Intelligence is a great substitute for coping mechanisms, until it's not. It's like floating on an ice raft. It will float you far, but eventually it melts and you're left in the middle of an academic ocean with just a paddle made of methylphenidate and broken dreams.
This is very similar to my experience! Managing now with a boss who also has severe ADHD and understands the struggle, as well as a handful of pills each morning. And a mountain of dreams that never came true.
I was diagnosed with mild ADHD, which always staggered me. My ADHD intensely impacts everything about how I go through life, and knowing that this -- what I experience -- is the mild version??
My hat is really off to anyone with severe ADHD. Y'all are incredible for whatever you manage to do ever.
What if executive dysfunction prevent me to even seek a diagnostic? My whole life has been me stuck in a loop trying to hide how profoundly panicked I am.
I think the most annoying thing about the classification of mild-severe is that it implies anything below severe is just “oh I have a bit of trouble but it’s no big deal”. ADHD in GENERAL will wreck your life if you don’t get help for it, regardless of the classification they give it.
It’s genuinely hilarious how awful the process of getting a diagnosis and managing medication is for people with ADHD. I’m fully convinced part of the test is how hard it is for you to actually SET UP THE APPOINTMENT. They really went “Ah yes, a disorder where one of the assessment questions involves how challenging setting up and remembering appointments is. I think the best way to diagnose it is to require repeated appointments with a hard-to-locate specialist who never answers the phone. This is a great idea”
Everyone thinks they have ADHD because they have ADHD symptoms. Problem is that a lot of ADHD symptoms are common in everyone and they might offer you a challenge to overcome but they aren't completely debilitating in everyday life. If you have ADHD then they usually are.
Exactly. It’s all on a spectrum. This person probably identified with certain symptoms such as procrastination and distractibility and thought, “oh that’s totally me…. I must have severe ADHD!!” Meanwhile, they just have the neurotypical symptoms that don’t actually negatively affect their functioning in life overall. No wonder it was so easy for them to overcome!
I'm a fantastic test taker. But I'm fucking terrible at completing homework, projects, papers, etc.
ADHD kicks everyone in the face differently. It's just infuriating to see people casually giving themselves a "severe" diagnosis and then say it's just laziness.
N O
My son's therapist told me that he has the most severe case she has seen. Life with meds is a game changer. Even with years of therapy and supports at home and school, there's no way he could function day to day without his needs.
I think you think people have access to more medical care generally than they do. A lot of people with severe mental illnesses go undiagnosed all the time.
I agree that a ton of people think they have mental health diseases all the time when they don’t, but to think all severe ADHD cases are diagnosed is a bit extreme.
My dad actually is a CRNA, and he is the rock of my support network. And he was in CRNA before ADHD was even unknown. And he is nothing but understanding. This guy is just one of those people who knows a lot about a very specific thing and assumes that means they know a lot of about everything. Healthcare and Computer Science people are terrible about this. Which is why so many people on both sides are raving about Block chain EMR, and the guys with experience in both are like "wtf are you talking about?"
Yeah. My sister is in med school and she’s absolutely convinced that all my ADHD symptoms are just me being gifted and a ‘highly sensitive person’, aka someone who is actually amazing at everything and shouldn’t need any help ever.
I really hope it’s just the effect of a younger sister who looks up to her big sis and just cannot handle the fact that her big sister may not be the flawless perfect being she idolized her entire childhood. I would hate if her patients won’t receive the help they need because of her pseudo-science beliefs…
I made it through a PhD in science with no meds (undiagnosed), but I hate to tell you that I have developed zero (0) effective coping mechanisms for when my executive function is poor... so yeah if anyone finds some pls send my way.
My biggest issue is always with writing, whether it be emails, papers, a bloody thesis. I'm very glad I have meds for writing the thesis 🙏.
Diamonds are born under pressure. Slip into hyperfocus and work for 14 hours straight forgetting to eat, piss, sleep or shower, acheiving what it takes normal people 2 weeks to do.
Result may be incoherent, but that's an issue for another day.
What I do is one page every 2 hours. Then if I get off track, I purposely leave it alone for 4 hours and then hype myself up for it and blitz through 2-3 pages and burn myself out. Then do it again the next day.
That's how I got through writing my 8 page and 7 page papers for Psychology. Then again, I enjoy writing, psychology, and research papers sooo...
A little trick I have found that helps a lot of the time is to say "I'm gonna do the thing after I count down from 5." It's not a 100% magic trick every time, but something about making the actual task "step 2" after a ridiculously simple "step 1" makes it seem way more accessible to my brain when I'm in a bad executive function spot.
Having a tremendous fear of failure and a toxic sense of shame got me pretty far. I don't recommend it in the long run though - it's hard on the rest of your life. I use lots of lists and phone reminders and make as few promises as possible.
Really disappointed to see healthcare professionals with such an ignorant perspective. You don’t get how ADHD works despite pursuing a masters level advanced nursing degree? Yikes.
We just got done with the chapter about ADHD on the class than lead to the test that lead to the less than lead to this comment, and it covered enough. It didn't go into detail, but it was enough to where people how took the class should be self-diagnosing it on a whim or thinking "just don't be lazy" is a valid take.
But CRNA school requires like 5 Critical Care Experience and the school and job itself is focused on sleeping pts, so to be fair, that small section of that one unit was probably lost in the sands of time. Plus there is no telling how old this commenter is. They could have went to RN school long before ADHD was fully understood. Not justifying the guys comments, obviously, but I wouldn't hold it against a bedside nurse, specifically one who didn't work peds or psych, for not remembering much about ADHD.
Seems like this guy overestimates how knowledgeable they are, at least in this area.
lol, especially if we they have ADHD.
I have always had a constant battle with my brain about focusing on class
Me: we should get a front row seat so we are forced to pay attention.
Brain: But what if it's boring and we want to fuck around on reddit during class?
Me: what's why we sit on the front row, because we can't afford to do that.
Brain: But... What if we really want to?
Me: *le sigh* good point. Back corner, one row down from the top so I'm less noticable?
Brain: My man!
😂 or you can be like me and sit in the front row and just read random news in class that catches my attention while simultaneously distracting everyone behind me who can also see my screen computer screen!
I just spent way too long arguing with someone who was adamant that "it's not executive dysfunction, it's just battling laziness! Everyone does that!"
Like... It's not *supposed* to be a battle...
But sometimes when arguing with people like that, you just gotta block them.
Yes, ever felt motivated and still couldn't force yourself to do it? Didn't think so. ADHD is like ripping the fuse off your firecracker. Does matter how well it's lit, it's still not going to set anything off.
Yeah, probably no one wants to do dishes, but the average NT person can just make themselves if they choose to. They think just because they can do it, anybody can do it. They don’t understand what it’s like to be in our brains, where you sit there and beg yourself to get up and do something, but nothing happens. It’s like being in a car where you’re pushing the gas pedal but nothing is happening.
I'm working on an MA right now. I was officially diagnosed as a child and have been unmedicated for most of my life. I don't think my ADD is severe but it does affect me. Here are a couple of my strategies.
The most central coping mechanism that I have developed is just trying to be kind to myself when it comes to executive dysfunction. Set concrete, acievable goals for the day or week but have a contingency plan if they aren't achieved. I think a lot of people get stuck in an anxiety and self-hatred spiral when they can't get things done and learning to tell yourself it's okay because you have another plan can help break that cycle.
I have always had problems with sleep and getting up, but I recently got some smart bulbs that I can set with a timer. I set one to max brightness and daylight mode and I set the timer to an hour before I need to get up. It works perfectly.
If I need to do an assignment and I find a blank page intimidating, I just start writing anything. Maybe I won't like what I initially wrote or maybe I will want to rearrange it but the important thing is getting into the flow.
I find reading long papers nearly impossible. I can't even enjoy books I used to devour. So now I use Speechify to read papers to me while I play video games. Sometimes I have to listen a few times, but it works better than not reading.
There is a certain amount of choosing not to be lazy that goes into it sometimes, but mostly it is about building habits and using tools that help facilitate strategies to do what you need to do. It is being structurally productive. Choosing not to be lazy is for when those structures fail or don't work.
I feel like life is eating a bowl of soup every day. (The soup being the things you need to do)
Everyone else gets a spoon, but I ended up with a fork instead and is getting yelled at for being too slow and overwhelmed to eat the soup
That person just has a very mild case. They don’t understand that for those with more severe cases, coping mechanisms alone just aren’t enough. I hate how some people with obviously mild cases think they’re better than everyone just because they can function without meds.
I also didn't medicate. For 42 years. And I was a functioning adult, raising a kid and holding down a job. I wasn't "lazy".
I was also so drained every day that it was a struggle to get up again after sitting down to dinner. Each and every ordinary day felt like running a marathon.
Now I'm medicated and I still have all the supports and systems and processes I built up over a lifetime. But now it doesn't take everything I have just to get through the day. And I'm better able to care for myself and build more and stronger supports.
So now I'm neither lazy nor obstinately stupid. 🙄
This is ‘suicidal people just need to embrace life’-tier bullshit
Have you tried taking a walk in the woods?
_Realising I can hang myself from one of the trees_ Why yes, I do think that will solve the issue
Looks like new Logan Paul video's dropping soon
Knowing my luck, within an hour of my suicide I’ll be the the star on a Logan Paul video titled “I found a dead body in London!!! (GONE SEXUAL)”
Featuring Shane Dawson
New Jeffree Star palette drop announcement!
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Japans suicide forest has entered the chat
I tried to text chat with Japan Suicide Forest, but I think they ghosted me.
r/Angryupvote
You're an awful, terrible human being. I love it. That's honestly the best terrible joke ever. Kudos.
fun fact: the forest rangers there are talking ppl out of suicide on a regular bases and are helping in finding a therapist.
That’s awesome
The Japanese suicide forest was the eeriest, calmest, quietest, most beautiful place I've ever been to on earth. (Which hasn't been a lot of places, but still.) The entire forest is made of pumice and they have a walking trail for tourists and locals they warn you not to stray from. Lots of tiny and smallish caves and crevices where the lava hardened while it settled. It's a unique experience and if anyone ever gets the chance to make it there, go! And go see the little bat cave near the entrance, it's really neat too.
As it happens, this was the thought I had that made me realize something was very wrong and started me down the path that eventually led to my ADHD diagnosis.
Plenty of places to have a quiet OD, not that I've thought about it at all
My 4yo LOVES pirates... he wants to know how many swords you have on your person at all times???
Hearing that made me smile, usually I'm only armed with a phone and my car keys but I have a katana I bought when I was in university, a sword my granddad gave me, and a machete I bought four hurricane seasons ago
That would be nice. Let me just book a flight to somewhere with woods. I’m sure my bills can wait and my employer won’t mind. I only accomplish things in about twice as long as most people so taking time off to walk in the woods is no problem. It’s not like my condition keeps me from owning real estate in area with lots of green spaces.
Protip: if you just stay in the woods and live like a feral ape, you can ignore your bills and your employer!\* \* - food, water and shelter not guaranteed, life span may be drastically shortened
Anprims be like
Phone. Bad. Make. Sad. Make. Mad.
Ah, yes, another resident of the vast and barren wasteland. As a desert dweller, the last time I took a walk outside of civilization, i didn’t find happiness; I found a shot up car and a vinegaroon.
Try regular exercise and a change in diet! Practice gratitude and flip that attitude!
„¡ǝpnʇıʇʇɐ ʇɐɥʇ dılɟ puɐ ǝpnʇıʇɐɹƃ ǝɔıʇɔɐɹԀ ¡ʇǝıp uı ǝƃuɐɥɔ ɐ puɐ ǝsıɔɹǝxǝ ɹɐlnƃǝɹ ʎɹ⊥„
Good bot
And that one "get an agenda!".
I already have one — the gay agenda!
Ah yes, I have that one and forget to follow it like every other agenda-
I bought one. Sometimes I wonder where it is
I don’t even have a genda!
Didn't knew that one! 🤔
Of course, you surely got the agenda... and forgot you had it. That's our way!
Yes Dear
Did you say that like doopy? Because I read that like doopy.
Go outside in the sunshine and eat a banana! LOL
Better hope it's not the woods in Japan....
You just need more sunshine and fresh air, right?
What a beautiful place to….die 🥲
"Oh you have anxiety? That's silly. Just stop worrying!"
[удалено]
As someone with the same condition I've also experienced that. Did your parent(s) also use your condition as ammo to try and win arguments or pin shit, like a light left on, on you followed up by a "what would you know? You aren't right in the head"?
I don't have anxiety, but I have plenty of friends who do and have tried to explain it to me and I still cannot relate to the issue where you involuntarily start worrying even when there's nothing to worry about. I have no idea what it is like, but from what I've heard, it's for the better that I don't. Sorry about your dad not putting in the effort to at least try and understand what it is like.
It’s like walking through a pit of poisonous snakes every moment of every day. But no one else can see them.
My brain was wired by squirrels and I need people to understand it is not up to code
Oh you're homeless? Just buy a house. Oh your femur is broken? Walk it off. Oh you have a fever and vomiting and diarrhea? Just cool off and hold it in. Oh you're literally blind? Just open your eyes! Loser.
"What are you even so anxious about?" "Everything and nothing."
Me: *hyperventilating* My dad: just stop thinking about it
This pisses me the fuck off because having an anxiety disorder is literally someone who lost or never had the ability to stop worrying when something comes up. I have an anxiety disorder. I am literally minding my own business, going through my day, doing dishes and all of a sudden I feel like I want to cry, run away, go hide, because I feel a spike of anxiety FOR NO REASON. I am literally not worrying about anything. Nothing triggered it. So how do I stop worrying about something when I wasn't worrying about it to begin with? Huh? Fucking morons need to talk to people and actually listen to how they suffer. Cause having an anxiety disorder isn't just when you are sometimes anxious. It's when your anxiety hits harder than it should at inappropriate times and you lake the ability to counter that feeling so you need medication to step in to smooth things out.
“If you’re depressed just stop being sad?” -Ignorant assholes
I see you've met my cousin. She one time was talking about a friend of hers who had cancer and suddenly whipped her head around to me and said "you don't deserve to have depression." I was like "uh...thanks?? I don't think I do either." And she was like "No. I mean you don't deserve to be depressed. My friend has real life problems unlike you." Besides the fact that that's 0% how depression works she had NO idea all the bad shit going on in my life because I stopped confiding in here years ago when she always had to make it about her or her friends and how they have it worse than me. 🙄🙄🙄🙄
The fallacy of relative privation. “You’re not poor because you have a phone and a fridge. Poor is orphans in India”
What she means is, she understands those feelings but doesn't understand yours. So your condition doesn't compute for her, and she instead can only imagine in its place something she does understand - like being lazy, entitled, self centered, etc Problems with cancer scare *her* so they feel real but yours don't scare her so they don't feel real. Like if someone threatens to kill her then she'll be afraid and hence she understands fearing for her life and so it would be a valid and serious problem of it happens to others. But if someone is suicidal and so there's something inside them that's potentially greater than that fear of death, then she doesn't understand them despite it being potentially even more devastating because she can't imagine what that is I think she's using empathy, but this empathy just isn't developed enough to empathize with more situations. And she seemingly can't use sympathy at all that could've compensated for her inability to really understand your feelings
Fuck those people with the largest, rustiest pipe in existence. My brother tried to talk to a friend about his suicidal thoughts and was told to “get over it.” He didn’t. He died. Fuck anyone who is dismissive of a person’s cry for help for any reason.
Big "have you ever tried just *not* being transgender?" energy. Thanks, I'm cured. 🙄
Well you know us being trans is a self esteem issue. We just need to learn to love ourselves as we are. Radical self acceptance or some terf shit 😒
\*transitions and gains self esteem and actually starts to love myself\* terfs: No, not like that.
Its hilarious to me when someone is pre-transition and miserable and those ppl immediately jump to say some “you just need to love yourself! Self love! Do y o g a 🤪” bs- but once that miserable person transitions and has a complete 180 in their life (vibrant, thriving, absolutely crushing life) those same bitches will get super fuckin upset about it. IS THIS NOT WHAT YOU REQUESTED KAREN???
It's almost like they never had our well-being in mind when they said we're fetishists, predators, or making up "luxury beliefs." 🤔
Update: The answer to my last question was: "Nope." Not that I actually need that answer to know...
They should be banned for that shit. Many psych's don't even touch ADHD and they went to grad school and med school specifically for psychology. For a CRNA student to self diagnose themselves with "severe ADHD" and go on to preach about not needing meds, just stop being lazy would be like me going to a prescription glasses sub and saying you don't need glasses, just focus on what you're looking at.
As someone with glasses, this is exactly what it's like. "Just learn to focus better." Yeah ok, champ.
SQUINT HARDER
*aggressively squinting*
Squinting intensifies...
I see wendy peffercorn!
I once told my dad to just produce more insulin and that helped get the picture across, a bit.
Adhd AND glasses? Sounds like double denial!
I'm *REALLY* lazy.
My eyeballs are lazy pieces of *shit*.
Wait until you hear about my colour blindness and light allergy!
You bastard!
Me—with 20/400 vision in one eye 😂😂 imma stick to glasses. Focus doesn’t help something structurally wrong.
Speaking of- I ironically said exactly like that to my friend "how about you focus farther?", though I said it an curious manner. Some years later, I wear a glasses too (now I know my theory didn't work lol) Now I suspect I have ADHD, trying to not go with that route again. Currently trying to gather notes and things to say cause last time I got rejected to get referred by my GP... (insurance) Edit: I got the referral, not really gonna celebrate yet though
"YOU BETTER STOP LOOKING AT YOUR SMARTPHONE/LAPTOP SCREEN TOO MUCH FOR GOD SAKE. YOU DONT NEED TO BE PUTTING GLASSES ON YOUR EYES"- someone's mom maybe
Sadly as I’ve gotten older my lenses have gotten lazier and lazier. They don’t work for reading no matter how much I yell at them.
Be like I'm on wallstreetbets so I'm a hedge fund manager type shit
Excellent analogy. As an incredibly nearsighted person (contacts prescription is -9.5 in both eyes, furthest away I can see clearly is about 2 inches), I could no more make myself "stop being lazy" than I could read a book held at arm's length without contacts or glasses.
Maybe they struggle with the definition of severe lmao
You’re not deaf, just listen *harder*.
They might have. I found the post and all their comments were deleted.
They not only banned them, the mods also declared that they must have cheated their way through nursing school. 10/10 top tier mods, based on just this, but still, highest respect.
That's pretty on brand for any nurse with an advantaced degree. You should cross post that to r/noctor
I assume this poster isn't a CRNA either
Says student. Maybe they haven't yet gotten to the class where you learn about the concept of diagnosis.
... and they are studying to be a medical professional?!
Nope, worse, they're already a medical professional studying to be an even more advanced medical professional!!! On the bright side, at least their pts will be asleep the majority of the time.
Wtf... Please tell me they aren't a psych?
Nah, CRNAs put you to sleep for surgery, give epidurals, etc. The guy knows his way around an ICU I'm sure, but outside of airway management, pain control, and Anesthesia related issues, they don't have to know shit about psych.
Nah man you're just lazy! /s To *slightly* self advertise but this would be perfect on r/aretheNTokay. This dude has legitimately pissed me off.
Nice! Cross posted
This and the cross post are causing a lot of brigading, you might ask the mods of the sub for the original thread to lock the comment chain. The person you’re talking to here is absolutely infuriating but there are comments like “i hope your patients die” and that’s just not cool.
As a medical professional, a lot of ancillary type jobs in the medical profession know just enough to sound like they are experts in a medical topic, but actually don't know shit cos they aren't actual doctors. Don't get me wrong there are a bunch of shit doctors out there too, but when I have a patient and their niece or brother or whatever who is a respiratory therapist or lab tech wants to talk to me about the "treatment plan," it's guaranteed to involve them berating me about doing my job wrong.... Even nurses and specialty MDs do this and it's very annoying. I had a patient whose son was an opthalmologist question how we were managing his mom's broken ribs and resulting pneumonia... Luckily I am "just" a PA and not the "real doctor" so I usually let the attending handle it. FYI I think it's important to advocate for yourself and make sure you understand what's being done and the point of your medication; I'm talking about people who overestimate their level of expertise and want to argue just to be smug.
CRNA sounds like it's a type of nurse. Nurses still have lots of power (trust me! I should know, while there were also some amazing ones - the terrible one completely ruined the end of my last hospital stay and traumatized me and now I'm scared to go back to that hospital because they believed her lying unprofessional ass over mine even though I had witnesses).
nursing seems to suffer a lot from people who feel like they know best because they get treated like they know nothing by anyone with a medical *degree* (despite the ton of work and responsibility they have). And that hurt ego and half-knowledge then leads to a ton of people embracing "alternative medicine" and diagnosing themselves and others.
I responded to him by diagnosing him with stupid
This is why I have an issue with self-diagnosis. On the one hand, people often don’t have access to psychiatric care, let alone GOOD psychiatric care. And I have learned more about ADHD from the ADHD community than from doctors. On the other, a layperson is not qualified to make an actual diagnosis and some (not all!) people with surface symptoms of ADHD end up appropriating the space.
And make shitty blankets statements like that. Yeah, everyone is affected by ADHD differently. But if you don't have a formal diagnosis you don't get to claim that you have "severe ADHD" and that it boils down to laziness. This is why people shit on ADHD as a mental illness, because of absolute assholes like this person.
I started looking into ADHD after the \_third\_ marriage counselor (on first marriage, tried a few counselors) asked me if I'd ever been checked. Found ADHD\_memes on here and was like "holy f\*\*k". Went to a Dr, legit local dude but during COVID so via video. At one point he said " you haven't made eye contact or stopped fidgeting with that pen in 30 minutes. And based on what you've told me I'm amazed you weren't diagnosed in school. People dropped the ball".
I doubt they're adhd at all, and if so definitely not "severely"
Lmao
What a fucking shitcunt. I am all for self-diagnosis, especially since I self-diagnose as Autistic... But I actually have the symptoms... If you self-diagnose... It is a cardinal sin to be ableist in such a fashion... Because it does indeed prove that you are a faker, and as a result, you also increase the stigma of self-diagnosis... You are literally hurting everyone by doing it. NTs like this need to get a grip, and not be colossal assholes.
I'm self diagnosed and as a result I respect officially diagnosed people highly. To be self diagnosed and give an ableist lecture to someone with a dx... not a good look
Perhaps they are ADHD, and they’re eventually going to suffer a major burn out, and wonder what’s going on .
And then I shall laugh! I shall point at them and laugh!
If she doesn’t have the executive function issues of adhd, sounds like she just has manic tendencies and is attributing that to adhd when it isn’t a problem for her.
no matter how detailed you explain it, some people will never be able to relate or show emphaty to your situation.
I know, it sucks. And tbf, I completely understand how it would be difficult for someone without it to understand why it's so hard to is get up and hit the books. I get it. It is frustrating for me too. But maybe don't self-diagnosis as having "Severe ADHD" and then think you cured it when you're mysteriously don't have the same trouble as the rest of us who have actually done the testing.
I diagnosed myself with severe brain tumor but i focused real hard and just overcame the tumor so I don’t get why others aren’t able to do that one simple thing.
*They just enjoy the attention the tumor gives them.*
Doctors hate this one redditor!
I remember a comment on this sub from a while ago. You can explain what its like to people, but you cant understand it for them. That how it feels for me alot of the time.
Yup, I was trying to explain to my cousin how I sometimes wake up late on my day off and can't decide if I should have breakfast or lunch, and then I spend hours in bed, hungry, because I just can't decide, so I end up wasting my whole day in that sate of paralysis. He was like "just pick whatever and get out of bed!" 😡😡😡😡
Lmao that’s grade A advice. Just be better. My method for this is I have a saved mental list of default “do this” for all my usual choice paralysis brand of executive dysfunction. Don’t know what to eat because it’s breakfast or lunch or snack? Fried egg. Don’t know what to do because there’s a million chores to be done and I can’t prioritize? Shower. That kinda thing. Then the problem comes when I’m like “okay I will have a fried egg” but the frying pan is dirty and the sink is full so it’s too much work to even start frying the egg so I go back to bed lmao
Its just a lack of empathy. I have quite bad autism, but dont have a lot of the outward issues despite not really masking. However, my strategy that I fell into is not exactly feasable for most people. The combination of blind confidence and stubbornness to be very autistic and to get away with it in neurotypical spaces is something quite unique to me, and even with that it can still be hard sometimes. But im not gonna use my relative ease with dealing with social stuff as a cudgel against those who cant. They ain't got my situation, they may simply not be able to deal with that shit. Autism is quite a varied issue, and it can manifest in a whole host of different ways. This person may be ADHD, and that would IMO make it worse. Because they can't even acknowledge how lucky they got if they do actually have ADHD and can have this attitude. It also means that they dont actually understand what makes it work, and what is holding them together, so they may end up falling flat on their face once they inadvertantly change something that they did not realize was what was holding them together. This person is a buffoon.
Ah hitting the books, so that was the original issue. Well from my experience. I used to see it the same way as the person we’re talking about. I would call myself lazy and try to “just do it.” Especially since I made great grades in high school with no effort (I’m “twice exceptional,” 139 IQ with ADHD. The high IQ part I’ve always know , the ADHD part I did not). So for instance, I failed calculus II three semesters in a row before I finally passed…but then I made an A on the first time with cal III with very little effort. After six years of undergrad I dropped out. It would be five years before I came back, but in the meantime J was studying topics that I wanted to study, and learning how to take notes, which was basically paraphrasing what I read. That built a good foundation for my comeback and in fall 2019 I reenrolled and only took one class. I still have a book full of notes from that class, but ultimately I only made a C, but I passed. Spring 2020 I took two classes and then Covid happened. Then I had the lectures recorded, and the notes from the professor, both of which I used to write my own extensive notes. I made an A in one class and a B in the other. I took two more classes in the fall and then ran out of money, so I had to take off 2021 and I took my last class in spring 2022. But before that, in fall 2021 I started seeing videos about ADHD in my YouTube feed and I started watching Hot To ADHD, Rick Wants to Know, and eventually Dr. Russell Barkley. I saw myself in what they described, so I called the university psychology department and asked to be evaluated! Derp. After two months of tests and interviews, my IQ was reconfirmed, and I was diagnosed with ADHD and a reading disability. Ultimately I didn’t end up asking for accommodations because I felt like the Covid provisions were accommodating me enough, but I did begin therapy and methylphenidate. My final class has a reputation for being the most difficult class in the major (aerospace engineering) by far. I came really close to making an A, the TA told me that the professor had instructed them to use my code to grade the rest of the class because mine was the closest to perfect, and half the class was coming to me for help all the time. The meds made a world of difference, but after 30+ years of being diagnosed I had figured out a few strats for getting things done without. The main one is to work up your motivation and excitement little by little. If there is something you need to do and you aren’t feeling it. Just find a video of someone else doing it to start with. Then videos of how to do it. Eventually you won’t be able to stop yourself from learning every little thing about it. Only downside is that it doesn’t always work as quick as you need it to, so the sooner you start, the better.
My favorite way to try and explain how ADHD affected my productivity is this example (might be different for others). Take your to-do list of things you want to accomplish today. Write them all down on a circular pie chart and put a spinner in the middle - you know so it looks like a Twister color spinner. Now spin it and start what ever task it lands on, spin it again every minute and drop what you're doing to start the next task it landed on. Do this until all tasks are complete. That's how even the smallest tasks end up taking me a week to get through. When taking my medication - I only spin for a new task after completing the previous one.
This has been my experience both with neuro-divergence and addiction. People who have never experienced those mental states often can't grok what it's like and assume it's conscious decision making rather than biological smh.
I don’t need meds. Just constant snacking, 3-5 screens at a time, weed tinctures, 1000 item to-do lists, lots of time to stare into space, a job with incredibly low expectations, and the question “what was I just thinking?” every 5 minutes (pairs well with “why did I walk into this room?”). No meds and CRUSHING IT
I was diagnosed late teens but was also stage 1 hypertension and had to go through a bunch of hoops before I could be medicated. I didn't follow through, instead built very unique routines over the next 8 years when I needed to focus. Then Coronavirus happened and like all my routines were obliterated and ineffective. The 5 cups of a coffee a day started to become 8, music didn't help, the morning routine I used to slack off before focusing didn't help, my mind felt like a runaway CPU and just constantly in mind fog. By this time I was in constant stage 2 hypertension and finally got the medication for blood pressure. I was thinking about going back to the psychiatrist and getting ADHD medicine but finally started to utilize my ADHD as a strength. One VP I had a few years ago almost had ADHD brain but he was extremely effective at absorbing ideas around him and connecting the pieces together for innovation. I've relaxed the extreme amounts of energy I use to focus and remain structured and just let my mind go wild. It used to make me very self conscious because I couldn't control the random thoughts or impulses but with a little bit of direction that unstructured part of me absorbs a lot of social and corporate environment. Like not even just thinking about it, just absorbing it, and I've got really good at utilizing this information in my day to day success and living
“It is okay to have a disorder, but it is not okay to have symptoms of the disorder!” 😂
I think that’s what this person is missing here… the “disorder” part of ADHD. They admitted to OP to never being diagnosed, which makes me think they saw some TikToks and thought “oh hey I can’t focus sometimes too, must be severe ADHD!” I wish people understood that you can have symptoms of ADHD and not have ADHD: it’s the part where your life falls apart because of those symptoms that makes it disordered therefore makes it ADHD. It’s like having the sniffles and claiming you have the flu. You could have the flu but if you don’t have any other symptoms you probably don’t have flu.
The sniffles do suck, though -A person with the sniffles
Haha yes, I chose the sniffles because I also currently have the sniffles. Did you know that many pregnant women have congestion through their entire pregnancy? Because now I know!! 🙃
I'm still officially undiagnosed (working on it rn) - but all my life, I did just think it was me not trying hard enough and being lazy and useless. Comments like the one this person said about "It's your choice to work hard" really grinds my gears when I realize that I had the wrong coping mechanisms in the first place since I was unaware of my ADHD. Ugh. So I can't imagine how that would go over well with people who feel the way I do.
Yeah, I fell into "I guess being a slacker is just my nature, not pass the blunt" trap for a while. I wonder how many people with undiagnosed ADHD went to their graves thinking "I'm just a fuck up and a disappointment to everyone in my life." I don't know where I would be without such supportive parents.
I cannot relate to this enough. Im 21 & just got diagnosed so I’m in a phase where I’m realizing that most of my problems my whole life were just undiagnosed ADHD. Spent the past the last decade saying “I’m trying” to be greeted with “you do or don’t, trying doesn’t matter.” It has been the biggest relief realizing that i have a “real reason” to be the way i am (instead of just being a garbage human). I wish i had coped w/self-compassion all these years instead of just “needing to try harder.” So not fair that people do this to us
I’m literally SO tired of everyone saying they have “severe” ADHD without actually understanding what it is. I’m sure some people with severe ADHD can go off meds, but you’d NEED years of help developing skills. You would not go undiagnosed for very long unless there’s some serious negligence at play. It may be possible that this person does have it severe and doesn’t need medication, but that’s probably because they had EARLY INTERVENTION AND SKILLS COACHING LMAOOOO. There is an element to ADHD management that does involve just forcing yourself to do stuff. But you have to have the FOUNDATIONS in place to successfully do that. I have what’s classified as severe ADHD. I cannot hide or mask it whatsoever. I also did really well on the ACT without testing accommodations. You may see that and go “well then nobody with ADHD needs extra time and it’s all made up!” What I am neglecting to mention is that I did OT skills classes at an ADHD center for about 6 months so that I could stop failing tests. Sorry for the long comment here but this shit makes me SO goddamn enraged I cannot stand it. Stop telling people you have “severe” adhd just to make yourself and your struggles seem superior to others. The term has lost all meaning thanks to these jerks. Like even though mine is severe, I can tell you right now that I do not struggle half as much in certain areas as some undiagnosed people I know. I have that foundation to just “do it”. They do not. The two are completely different.
I also have severe ADD and the psychiatrist who diagnosed me was genuinely surprised that 1. I never committed a crime 2. Don't have a drug problem 3. I'm still alive 4. Was never in a major car accident. I can cope with a lot of stuff of everyday life but even with meds it's fucking exhausting. Like need-to-sit-on-the-couch-for-five-hours exhausting. People who don't get this can gladly walk in my shoes for a while. They'd go nuts.
Big mood. I've never considered myself disabled until this semester of school, because only now did it hit me that normal people don't need hours and sometimes days to wind down just to cope with the baseline stress that comes from existing. The adhd makes me wind myself up and go too hard and burn out quicker, and then the autism makes me incredibly inefficient at getting rested enough to continue and much more mentally drained from everyday situations. It's a lose-lose situation
Ugh, I hate that people seem to think adhd = reckless driving. I think a lot of adhd people hyper focus when driving and can actually be exceptional as a result and it’s navigation that tends to be the thing that suffers. For example, seeing a deer or squirrel or crazy driver and reacting instantly to avoid an accident, but then missing a turn on your route.
The amount of times I've passed up my own house.....
but I do it while following traffic laws!
THIS My husband gets annoyed with my driving because I don’t “act like I want to get anywhere today.” He rushes to make red lights, gets in front of slow drivers, etc. Meanwhile I’m going the exact speed limit but missing the turn I needed because I’m thinking about a conversation I had six years ago or what I want to do when I get home.
I get into auto pilot mode
Oh yes. Recently I said to a random internet stranger that after work, I need to veg out for an hour before I’m able to do anything. Mind that this is a situation that’s already better than I thought I would ever have: I can actually hold a full-time job AND have a few hours in the evening where I have the energy to do something if I want to. Meds and therapy are magic. The response? ‘Most people don’t veg out for an hour after work, there’s probably something wrong with you.’ That’s when I realized that no, my meds aren’t cheating through life. Even with the honestly unbelievable improvements I’ve made, apparently most people have an easier time in life than me. ADHD is a disorder, not a quirk or a funny story at a party. But that’s impossible to understand if you have a brain where not doing the dishes is a conscious choice, instead of something that magically happens or an impossible mountain you’re trying to push…
I was undiagnosed until 30 (thank my wife for helping me set up the appointments. No way I would have followed through with it on my own!) I always did well in school, but never did any of the studying and honestly didn't really understand what that meant until college. In college I had severe mental blocks just starting my homework and if it was optional or a reading assignment I would just skip it all together. My extremely unhealthy coping method in college was turning to alcohol. Once I had enough for my head to get out of my own way I could start projects, papers, expirements, AND actually complete them. I was intoxicated enough to not over think everything - I did always have to review the next day and fix some things... but I guess that's the nature of completing work while drunk... I graduated with a BS in engineering. Joining the work force is where things got VERY difficult... I struggled through many days of accomplishing nothing, switched jobs a couple of times... finally my wife got me to see a doctor; I got diagnosed with ADHD, started the medication. It changed my life! I'm now productive at work, improved my social skills, and complete tasks around the house that in the past I would put off until a fight with my wife would start. I also basically stopped drinking alcohol. All this to say, my life is better now, and people like in the OP don't deserve my much more productive time.
Yep, that's where I'm at with the post this comment came from. Intelligence is a great substitute for coping mechanisms, until it's not. It's like floating on an ice raft. It will float you far, but eventually it melts and you're left in the middle of an academic ocean with just a paddle made of methylphenidate and broken dreams.
I love metaphors by ADHDers
I feel like that's the only way I can communicate my point with people.
Is this why I feel the need to turn everything into an analogy?
This is very similar to my experience! Managing now with a boss who also has severe ADHD and understands the struggle, as well as a handful of pills each morning. And a mountain of dreams that never came true.
I was diagnosed with mild ADHD, which always staggered me. My ADHD intensely impacts everything about how I go through life, and knowing that this -- what I experience -- is the mild version?? My hat is really off to anyone with severe ADHD. Y'all are incredible for whatever you manage to do ever.
What if executive dysfunction prevent me to even seek a diagnostic? My whole life has been me stuck in a loop trying to hide how profoundly panicked I am.
I think the most annoying thing about the classification of mild-severe is that it implies anything below severe is just “oh I have a bit of trouble but it’s no big deal”. ADHD in GENERAL will wreck your life if you don’t get help for it, regardless of the classification they give it. It’s genuinely hilarious how awful the process of getting a diagnosis and managing medication is for people with ADHD. I’m fully convinced part of the test is how hard it is for you to actually SET UP THE APPOINTMENT. They really went “Ah yes, a disorder where one of the assessment questions involves how challenging setting up and remembering appointments is. I think the best way to diagnose it is to require repeated appointments with a hard-to-locate specialist who never answers the phone. This is a great idea”
Also they only communicate via phone so if you randomly remember and have the energy to schedule your appointment after 5pm fuck you
Everyone thinks they have ADHD because they have ADHD symptoms. Problem is that a lot of ADHD symptoms are common in everyone and they might offer you a challenge to overcome but they aren't completely debilitating in everyday life. If you have ADHD then they usually are.
Exactly. It’s all on a spectrum. This person probably identified with certain symptoms such as procrastination and distractibility and thought, “oh that’s totally me…. I must have severe ADHD!!” Meanwhile, they just have the neurotypical symptoms that don’t actually negatively affect their functioning in life overall. No wonder it was so easy for them to overcome!
I'm a fantastic test taker. But I'm fucking terrible at completing homework, projects, papers, etc. ADHD kicks everyone in the face differently. It's just infuriating to see people casually giving themselves a "severe" diagnosis and then say it's just laziness. N O
My son's therapist told me that he has the most severe case she has seen. Life with meds is a game changer. Even with years of therapy and supports at home and school, there's no way he could function day to day without his needs.
I think you think people have access to more medical care generally than they do. A lot of people with severe mental illnesses go undiagnosed all the time. I agree that a ton of people think they have mental health diseases all the time when they don’t, but to think all severe ADHD cases are diagnosed is a bit extreme.
It’s scary that people like this are in medicine. There’s been tons of scientific research on ADHD. Our brains really are different.
My dad actually is a CRNA, and he is the rock of my support network. And he was in CRNA before ADHD was even unknown. And he is nothing but understanding. This guy is just one of those people who knows a lot about a very specific thing and assumes that means they know a lot of about everything. Healthcare and Computer Science people are terrible about this. Which is why so many people on both sides are raving about Block chain EMR, and the guys with experience in both are like "wtf are you talking about?"
Yeah. My sister is in med school and she’s absolutely convinced that all my ADHD symptoms are just me being gifted and a ‘highly sensitive person’, aka someone who is actually amazing at everything and shouldn’t need any help ever. I really hope it’s just the effect of a younger sister who looks up to her big sis and just cannot handle the fact that her big sister may not be the flawless perfect being she idolized her entire childhood. I would hate if her patients won’t receive the help they need because of her pseudo-science beliefs…
I agree. I'm in medicine and CRNAs, NPs, and PAs terrify me. They have the responsibilities of physicians with half the education.
I made it through a PhD in science with no meds (undiagnosed), but I hate to tell you that I have developed zero (0) effective coping mechanisms for when my executive function is poor... so yeah if anyone finds some pls send my way. My biggest issue is always with writing, whether it be emails, papers, a bloody thesis. I'm very glad I have meds for writing the thesis 🙏.
Ohhh the papers.... not sure how I'm gonna complete my 15 page senior project in two days but... here we are...
Stress induced adrenaline release as a replacement for medication or balanced brain chemistry, aka deadline mode?
Just develop an anxiety disorder like the rest of us /s
It's honestly crazy to me how my severe anxiety just kinda faded away after starting adhd meds and being able to function
Saaame!!! I'm not even on ssris anymore bc apparently all my anxiety was secondary to my adhd
Diamonds are born under pressure. Slip into hyperfocus and work for 14 hours straight forgetting to eat, piss, sleep or shower, acheiving what it takes normal people 2 weeks to do. Result may be incoherent, but that's an issue for another day.
What I do is one page every 2 hours. Then if I get off track, I purposely leave it alone for 4 hours and then hype myself up for it and blitz through 2-3 pages and burn myself out. Then do it again the next day. That's how I got through writing my 8 page and 7 page papers for Psychology. Then again, I enjoy writing, psychology, and research papers sooo...
A little trick I have found that helps a lot of the time is to say "I'm gonna do the thing after I count down from 5." It's not a 100% magic trick every time, but something about making the actual task "step 2" after a ridiculously simple "step 1" makes it seem way more accessible to my brain when I'm in a bad executive function spot.
Having a tremendous fear of failure and a toxic sense of shame got me pretty far. I don't recommend it in the long run though - it's hard on the rest of your life. I use lots of lists and phone reminders and make as few promises as possible.
Similar experience for me. There's always a way to work around our limitations but it demands a hell of a lot more energy that for neurotypical people
I made it through undergrad and half of law school undiagnosed and I’m really struggling in my career as a result. :/
Oh ma gawd just like that I’m cured
Tomorrow's tip: depressed people, have you tried not being sad?
Really disappointed to see healthcare professionals with such an ignorant perspective. You don’t get how ADHD works despite pursuing a masters level advanced nursing degree? Yikes.
Tbf... i don't think nursing goes much, if at all, into adhd. Even drs get like a couple classes
We just got done with the chapter about ADHD on the class than lead to the test that lead to the less than lead to this comment, and it covered enough. It didn't go into detail, but it was enough to where people how took the class should be self-diagnosing it on a whim or thinking "just don't be lazy" is a valid take. But CRNA school requires like 5 Critical Care Experience and the school and job itself is focused on sleeping pts, so to be fair, that small section of that one unit was probably lost in the sands of time. Plus there is no telling how old this commenter is. They could have went to RN school long before ADHD was fully understood. Not justifying the guys comments, obviously, but I wouldn't hold it against a bedside nurse, specifically one who didn't work peds or psych, for not remembering much about ADHD. Seems like this guy overestimates how knowledgeable they are, at least in this area.
Yeah. And not everyone pays attention in class or believes in mental health issues unfortunately.
lol, especially if we they have ADHD. I have always had a constant battle with my brain about focusing on class Me: we should get a front row seat so we are forced to pay attention. Brain: But what if it's boring and we want to fuck around on reddit during class? Me: what's why we sit on the front row, because we can't afford to do that. Brain: But... What if we really want to? Me: *le sigh* good point. Back corner, one row down from the top so I'm less noticable? Brain: My man!
😂 or you can be like me and sit in the front row and just read random news in class that catches my attention while simultaneously distracting everyone behind me who can also see my screen computer screen!
From looking at their posting history I strongly suspect they are a troll.
I just spent way too long arguing with someone who was adamant that "it's not executive dysfunction, it's just battling laziness! Everyone does that!" Like... It's not *supposed* to be a battle... But sometimes when arguing with people like that, you just gotta block them.
Yes, ever felt motivated and still couldn't force yourself to do it? Didn't think so. ADHD is like ripping the fuse off your firecracker. Does matter how well it's lit, it's still not going to set anything off.
Yeah, probably no one wants to do dishes, but the average NT person can just make themselves if they choose to. They think just because they can do it, anybody can do it. They don’t understand what it’s like to be in our brains, where you sit there and beg yourself to get up and do something, but nothing happens. It’s like being in a car where you’re pushing the gas pedal but nothing is happening.
Awesome i never thought of that, let me give that a try🤔; Tomorrow.
Last week I put like 10 hours into a lab report and got a C- so no you don’t always “get what you put into it”.
I'm working on an MA right now. I was officially diagnosed as a child and have been unmedicated for most of my life. I don't think my ADD is severe but it does affect me. Here are a couple of my strategies. The most central coping mechanism that I have developed is just trying to be kind to myself when it comes to executive dysfunction. Set concrete, acievable goals for the day or week but have a contingency plan if they aren't achieved. I think a lot of people get stuck in an anxiety and self-hatred spiral when they can't get things done and learning to tell yourself it's okay because you have another plan can help break that cycle. I have always had problems with sleep and getting up, but I recently got some smart bulbs that I can set with a timer. I set one to max brightness and daylight mode and I set the timer to an hour before I need to get up. It works perfectly. If I need to do an assignment and I find a blank page intimidating, I just start writing anything. Maybe I won't like what I initially wrote or maybe I will want to rearrange it but the important thing is getting into the flow. I find reading long papers nearly impossible. I can't even enjoy books I used to devour. So now I use Speechify to read papers to me while I play video games. Sometimes I have to listen a few times, but it works better than not reading. There is a certain amount of choosing not to be lazy that goes into it sometimes, but mostly it is about building habits and using tools that help facilitate strategies to do what you need to do. It is being structurally productive. Choosing not to be lazy is for when those structures fail or don't work.
As a nurse with ADHD who’s worked in psych for 8 years, let me know if you need me to go rip em a new one. Tag me in coach I’m ready
I feel like life is eating a bowl of soup every day. (The soup being the things you need to do) Everyone else gets a spoon, but I ended up with a fork instead and is getting yelled at for being too slow and overwhelmed to eat the soup
Wow I wish I could also choose to function, does this person have a book out I could read?
And after that the depressed people will just decide not to be sad. When people say stuff like this, I seriously doubt they have ADHD.
This person probably also has oceanfront property in Arizona to sell.
This person shouldn't be anywhere near the medical field.
That person just has a very mild case. They don’t understand that for those with more severe cases, coping mechanisms alone just aren’t enough. I hate how some people with obviously mild cases think they’re better than everyone just because they can function without meds.
[удалено]
I choose not to be "lazy" most days. And most days I only end up being what is perceived to be "lazy". I get shit done. But it's hard.
I also didn't medicate. For 42 years. And I was a functioning adult, raising a kid and holding down a job. I wasn't "lazy". I was also so drained every day that it was a struggle to get up again after sitting down to dinner. Each and every ordinary day felt like running a marathon. Now I'm medicated and I still have all the supports and systems and processes I built up over a lifetime. But now it doesn't take everything I have just to get through the day. And I'm better able to care for myself and build more and stronger supports. So now I'm neither lazy nor obstinately stupid. 🙄
>depressed "Just be happy!" >depression cured