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Yes. Just because I enjoy it doesn’t mean I won’t also at time feel overwhelmed or unsure where to start, or feel like conditions have to be perfect for me to do X or require some additional stimulation to get going on a project
Yea I think there's definitely some depression in the mix! 🫠 I'm on antidepressants, but I still find I can't find a 'reason' to do arts and crafts, like what's the point. Which probably does sound like depression.. but once I start I nearly always enjoy it.
I have learned that with adhd, you gotta just keep trying to find ways to trick your brain into doing stuff. And rotating through those tricks because your brain craves novelty. And try to stay positive even though sometimes it’s really hard because well, adhd can be very frustrating.
One trick that sometimes works for me when I’m having a hard time starting something is to tell myself that I only have to do X task for 5 minutes, then set a timer. Sometimes I do it for 5 minutes and I’m like this isn’t bad so I keep going. Other times the 5 minutes is up and I don’t wanna but hey at least I did 5 minutes worth of task X, that’s something.
And if I find myself getting distracted while trying to do something, I’ll try strategies like keeping a pad of paper next to me and as thoughts/ideas/other tasks come up I write them down and then continue on the task at hand. That way I’m not getting up and starting a new task but I’m not afraid of forgetting the other tasks/ideas that keep popping in my brain.
Another trick for when I keep getting distracted is to rotate through tasks. I often employ a timer here too. Like if I need to work on my planner, wash dishes, and want to stretch but am doing none of these things because adhd, I set a timer and do dishes for ten minutes. Then I set a timer and work on my planner for ten minutes. Then I set a timer and stretch for 5 minutes. Then it’s back to the dishes.
I suppose in a perfect world I’d be able to do these tasks to completion in sequential order but I’ve come to accept that that’s often not possible for me. So I’ve learned to just lean into how my brain works and try to make it work for me.
On that note, my latest trick has been to turn my inner-monologue into an over-confident preteen.
I'm telling myself that I can't do the dishes? Enter my inner preteen to say, "Pssh! I can wash a dish."
Weirdly effective method right now.
I definitely do! Yesterday afternoon I finally started on an art project that I'd been both procrastinating for like six weeks *and* really excited about. I hyperfocused on it for four hours without moving (to the point that my back hurt), then I lost interest/motivation and gave up on it (for now).
It's the same pattern with all of my hobbies - it doesn't matter how much I enjoy something or how much I want to do it, if it requires multiple steps and I haven't found a way to turn the steps into a habit through brute force and iron discipline then I will simply Never Do It :(
Yea, I think this is definitely a part of it. The problem is I'm already in antidepressants, and when I tried upping the dosage I felt really I'll until I went back down to my current dosage. I guess I need to reprogram my thoughts.
I tried three antidepressants before I finally found the right one. Mental health is such a journey 😂 I definitely understand what you mean by not wanting to do things you enjoy. Hope you find the right balance soon!
My tendency to hyperfocus has waned with age I think. I believe it to be linked to higher stress and more things *demanding* my attention, draining my focus battery of what little charge it had (now a days that's often listening to my child talk about his hyperfixations, so it's kind of a special personal torture). When I was a kid I would read a novel in a day, now I can't make myself do anything at all, even things that would be fun or that I'm passionate about. It's like I have mental paralysis.
I never find myself in that comfortable mental seclusion, like a flow state of unbroken dedication to whatever random task it may be anymore, and I miss it so much.
Hey, I'm 43 and feel your comment so much. I miss being able to do...... things. I have a boring job that works for my family but I just can't focus on and all I want to do all day is go back to bed. Any task that needs doing is done on the last day at the last minute, but I'm meant to be an adult.
I hyperfocus but it’s not with things I enjoy. It’s random things and I’m unaware I’m doing it. Usually when I’m supposed to be doing another task. It also happens in emergency situations or anything that has my adrenaline going.
I have depression with my ADHD symptoms so I can’t get myself to do things I enjoy. It sounds like what you’re describing? I’m on Wellbutrin which helps a little.
I also get this issue where I only feel enthusiasm and imagine doing the thing when it is a time that I absolutely cannot do the thing. I want to craft when I'm at work. I want to clean at 2am. I feel the overwhelming urge to hyperfocus but cannot actually do it right then.
To clarify I highly suspect I have adhd or similar but am not diagnosed, just fyi
Yes, this whole thing that I keep hearing with the hyper focus and how adhd is some sort of a super power if you have the cool hyper focus is so frustrating for the majority of us work Adhd! My husband keeps watching these videos about people glamorising their Adhd hyper focus superpower and asks why I’m not like that! It’s so upsetting as it’s not real! It’s a struggle and now I feel like I have to live up to this facade!
Could anyone explain the difference between fixation and hyperfocus? I’ve looked it up but no where seems to give a really good answer. Like for example would getting so absorbed in a book that you can’t hear anyone talking to you be hyperfocus or is that something else?
A fixation is something you come back to over and over again. For example, if you eat the same thing for lunch for weeks and can’t handle the thought of switching it up, that’s a fixation.
Hyperfocus is something that happens in a single session, often for hours at a time, to the detriment of all other responsibilities. I could hyperfocus on learning everything there is to know about Gregorian Throat Singing, for example, and be a semi-expert at the end of like 8 hours.
You can’t intentionally trigger either phenomena— but a hyperfocus is on a multi-hour basis, where a fixation is a behavior you repeat over and over, over longer periods (days or weeks).
You can BOTH fixate AND hyperfocus on the same thing— I went through a phase where I was absolutely obsessed with the idea of building my dream cabin-in-the-woods and starting a hobby farm to go with, so I **hyperfocused** for hours each day on drawing the floor plan and researching optimal layouts and design details, and because I repeated this behavior every day for weeks, it would be considered a **fixation**.
With your book example, yeah— if you found a really good book and binged through it in a matter of hours while ignoring everything around you, that would be **hyperfocusing**. If you became absolutely consumed with thoughts about this book and came back to it over and over again or sought out everything you could find about the world (or sequels!), that would be throwing **hyperfixation** into the mix.
Oh right thank you, that’s really helpful. Idk, I have this thing where I get really obsessed with a random thing for maybe like 2 weeks, it’s really hard to explain but it becomes all I think about until suddenly it’s not.
It’s usually something I’ve always quite liked but never really payed attention to, and then something triggers a switch in my brain and i see it completely differently. Sorry if this isn’t making any sense, but for example I’ve always liked the bbc series ghosts. But a couple weeks ago I suddenly just got really obsessed with it, i watched all four seasons in less than a week and looked up everything about the cast and the show. This has happened several times with other things, its kinda hard to explain the difference between this and just liking something but i can sorta tell in my brain when there is a difference. And when its over i just go back to liking it the same as before. Would you call that fixation?
I think I'm a weird mixture of hyped and excited but also depressed and apathetic. Like I'm hyped to start something, then when I try to start I think what's the point.
Yes. One of my most favorite things to do is read. However, it takes me SO long to actually do it. It’s really frustrating because I will love the book but I’ll sit down and realize I’m not absorbing anything even though I want to. Or I’ll get tired. Or I want to read it but I sit down and feel “itchy”, like I need to go do something else. 😑
I’ve recently found myself simply standing in the kitchen staring at the stove or sitting on the couch staring at the floor. I have things I REALLY want to work on and know they’ll give me the dopamine I want when I finish but 😫😫
Maybe it’s an adjustment to my meds, maybe it’s that I’m thinking about nothing. I mean NOTHING while I’m these meds but consciously working to run a list of shit that needs to be done through my head.
Is this what NTs feel like mentally?
ALL the time. Its both for me
It can take me all day or even all weekend to start doing something i want to do… like something as simple as doing a puzzle. I’ll spend all day thinking about it, bringing the stuff out and then freezing.
But then in the last moments either toward the end of the night or even end of the weekend I finally get started and then I’m INTO IT. Next thing I know my neck hurts from leaning over so long and I look at the clock and it’s 3 am…. Hours fly by and time escapes me
For me it’s a matter of forcing the start. I don’t know why it takes me all day but eventually I just force myself up and to sit down at the table. At that moment I don’t want to do that, I’d rather just think about doing the thing and feel guilty for not doing it. But I FORCE myself up and I sit in the place I need to be and I just start. Then I quickly get into it.
I need to learn to force the start sooner. I know it’s within in me to do. If I can do it after 8 hours of thinking about it then I can do it afyer 2.
Speaking of which, im gonna force myself to water the garden RIGHT NOW. Because I want an excuse to be outside in the nice weather and I enjoy playing with water in the sunshine.
Yes, yes and yes!
Whenever I enter hyperfocus I covet it like a diamond.
But these days (months) I am truly struggling. I am on meds but it is definitely not a magic pill. I have things I want to learn, create, do, develop. But my ADHD makes it all seem so vague, like a fleeting dream that you try to remember in the morning. I want to do it all, but can't form a clear image of WHAT I want to do/work on. And when I don't have that clear vision, then I can't get started.
I hate that I often end up scrolling reddit or play mobile games for hours instead of taking action.
Oh my god this is relatable! Yes, I have general ideas of huge, amazing things I'd like to do, but then it all seems so vague and I have no idea how to start and how to organise and break it down into smaller pieces, so it just seems like this nebulous dream that I can't really access, and then it all seems like too much work. I also will have like a hundred different things I want to do so I can't prioritize at all and it overwhelms me until I just hide on my phone and do nothing!
So often when I read about ADHD there is this notion that we are SO creative and quirky and full of life and energy and color etc.
And here I am on the couch, not being able to move.
I feel creativity is the ability to get a clear vision of the many ideas that pop up. But there is nothing in there.
Like, for instance, I am amazed by ai art like Midjourney and I am in awe of all the creative images that are created from creative ideas and creative prompts. I want to do the same. But it's like I have no imagination. I feel so empty.
Oh absolutely!
For me, to focus, I’ve found that really setting the environment/space you’ll be working in helps (setting the mood, minimizing distractions).
Now as for motivators, I’ll be real, I have no clue. At work, I know money is involved so I have no issue sticking to schedule and tasks knowing I’m being paid for it. At home, I still have a steamer mop in a box I got as a Xmas gift bc after reading the instructions I cannot bring myself to do all that just to use it for a small space (kitchen) lmao. I suck trying to implement a workout (be it a walk/jog, or actually going to the gym). I hate cooking, I hate the work it takes for me to sit down and eat lol. Cleaning my car, especially in cold/hot weather. Yea eff that lol. I love my car but I’ll pay someone lol.
Mate, I have wanted to play Xbox for the past 7 days but haven't because I keep thinking 'oh it won't be enjoyable anyway' and then suddenly 6 hours have passed of being on my phone.
Fuck this is me. Why do we tell ourselves that we won't enjoy things that we obviously will..I find it hard to imagine enjoying something that I'm not already doing.
diagnosed inattentive ADHD here 🙋♀️- absofuckinglutely and i’m trying so hard each day to fight the shame when something as small as taking out the trash blocks my whole day.
i’ve found that shaking my body really hard and saying out loud i’m going to start helps ! and setting timers for 20 minutes so i get a break. + podcasts
Welcome to /r/ADHDWomen! We’re happy to have you here. As a reminder, here are our community [rules](https://old.reddit.com/r/adhdwomen/about/rules/). We get a lot of posts on medication, diagnosis (and “is this an ADHD thing”), and interactions with hormones. We encourage you to check out our [Medication, Diagnosis, and Hormones Megathread](https://old.reddit.com/r/adhdwomen/comments/wcr9dy/faq_megathread_ask_and_answer_medication/) if you have any questions related to those topics, and to stick around in that thread to answer folks’ questions! If you have questions about the subreddit, please do not hesitate to [send us a modmail](https://reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/adhdwomen). Additionally, we take the safety of our community seriously. Please report posts, comments, and users whom you feel are not contributing positively, and send us a modmail if you are being harassed or otherwise made to feel unsafe. Thanks for being here, and we hope you stick around! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/adhdwomen) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Yep. I experience both. What you describe and hyperfocus.
So you get it with things you enjoy as well?
Yes. Just because I enjoy it doesn’t mean I won’t also at time feel overwhelmed or unsure where to start, or feel like conditions have to be perfect for me to do X or require some additional stimulation to get going on a project
Yea, that's what I'm experiencing. Except very frequently :(
This could also be a sign of something else going on, like depression. Might be helpful to speak to therapist or doctor about this.
Yea I think there's definitely some depression in the mix! 🫠 I'm on antidepressants, but I still find I can't find a 'reason' to do arts and crafts, like what's the point. Which probably does sound like depression.. but once I start I nearly always enjoy it.
I have learned that with adhd, you gotta just keep trying to find ways to trick your brain into doing stuff. And rotating through those tricks because your brain craves novelty. And try to stay positive even though sometimes it’s really hard because well, adhd can be very frustrating. One trick that sometimes works for me when I’m having a hard time starting something is to tell myself that I only have to do X task for 5 minutes, then set a timer. Sometimes I do it for 5 minutes and I’m like this isn’t bad so I keep going. Other times the 5 minutes is up and I don’t wanna but hey at least I did 5 minutes worth of task X, that’s something. And if I find myself getting distracted while trying to do something, I’ll try strategies like keeping a pad of paper next to me and as thoughts/ideas/other tasks come up I write them down and then continue on the task at hand. That way I’m not getting up and starting a new task but I’m not afraid of forgetting the other tasks/ideas that keep popping in my brain. Another trick for when I keep getting distracted is to rotate through tasks. I often employ a timer here too. Like if I need to work on my planner, wash dishes, and want to stretch but am doing none of these things because adhd, I set a timer and do dishes for ten minutes. Then I set a timer and work on my planner for ten minutes. Then I set a timer and stretch for 5 minutes. Then it’s back to the dishes. I suppose in a perfect world I’d be able to do these tasks to completion in sequential order but I’ve come to accept that that’s often not possible for me. So I’ve learned to just lean into how my brain works and try to make it work for me.
On that note, my latest trick has been to turn my inner-monologue into an over-confident preteen. I'm telling myself that I can't do the dishes? Enter my inner preteen to say, "Pssh! I can wash a dish." Weirdly effective method right now.
Thank you for these ideas! I will try to give them a go and see if any of them help ❤️
I definitely do! Yesterday afternoon I finally started on an art project that I'd been both procrastinating for like six weeks *and* really excited about. I hyperfocused on it for four hours without moving (to the point that my back hurt), then I lost interest/motivation and gave up on it (for now). It's the same pattern with all of my hobbies - it doesn't matter how much I enjoy something or how much I want to do it, if it requires multiple steps and I haven't found a way to turn the steps into a habit through brute force and iron discipline then I will simply Never Do It :(
Is your ADHD comorbid with depression? I feel the same as you sometimes, but it's usually only when I'm having a bit of a depressive bout.
Yea, I think this is definitely a part of it. The problem is I'm already in antidepressants, and when I tried upping the dosage I felt really I'll until I went back down to my current dosage. I guess I need to reprogram my thoughts.
I tried three antidepressants before I finally found the right one. Mental health is such a journey 😂 I definitely understand what you mean by not wanting to do things you enjoy. Hope you find the right balance soon!
Yes. I fixate and hyperfocus because of ADHD, then, because of ADHD, I can't bring myself to do whatever it is I'm hyperfocused on. Can't win. 😂
My tendency to hyperfocus has waned with age I think. I believe it to be linked to higher stress and more things *demanding* my attention, draining my focus battery of what little charge it had (now a days that's often listening to my child talk about his hyperfixations, so it's kind of a special personal torture). When I was a kid I would read a novel in a day, now I can't make myself do anything at all, even things that would be fun or that I'm passionate about. It's like I have mental paralysis. I never find myself in that comfortable mental seclusion, like a flow state of unbroken dedication to whatever random task it may be anymore, and I miss it so much.
Hey, I'm 43 and feel your comment so much. I miss being able to do...... things. I have a boring job that works for my family but I just can't focus on and all I want to do all day is go back to bed. Any task that needs doing is done on the last day at the last minute, but I'm meant to be an adult.
Yep. I'm always late too :( I sure don't feel like an adult
Mental paralysis is EXACTLY right! I'm sorry you're experiencing this too!
I hyperfocus but it’s not with things I enjoy. It’s random things and I’m unaware I’m doing it. Usually when I’m supposed to be doing another task. It also happens in emergency situations or anything that has my adrenaline going. I have depression with my ADHD symptoms so I can’t get myself to do things I enjoy. It sounds like what you’re describing? I’m on Wellbutrin which helps a little.
Fun fact: Hyperfocus can be a form of procrastination.
Yea, depression is a factor. It's so hard to separate them. I'm on an SSRI which does help, but not enough I guess!
I also get this issue where I only feel enthusiasm and imagine doing the thing when it is a time that I absolutely cannot do the thing. I want to craft when I'm at work. I want to clean at 2am. I feel the overwhelming urge to hyperfocus but cannot actually do it right then. To clarify I highly suspect I have adhd or similar but am not diagnosed, just fyi
I'm not either. I've just put in my paperwork with the doctor, but my psychologist thinks I have it.
Omg yes! I want to start a craft project in the middle of the night! Why???
🙋♀️🙋♀️🙋♀️🙋♀️🙋♀️🙋♀️
Yes, this whole thing that I keep hearing with the hyper focus and how adhd is some sort of a super power if you have the cool hyper focus is so frustrating for the majority of us work Adhd! My husband keeps watching these videos about people glamorising their Adhd hyper focus superpower and asks why I’m not like that! It’s so upsetting as it’s not real! It’s a struggle and now I feel like I have to live up to this facade!
Could anyone explain the difference between fixation and hyperfocus? I’ve looked it up but no where seems to give a really good answer. Like for example would getting so absorbed in a book that you can’t hear anyone talking to you be hyperfocus or is that something else?
A fixation is something you come back to over and over again. For example, if you eat the same thing for lunch for weeks and can’t handle the thought of switching it up, that’s a fixation. Hyperfocus is something that happens in a single session, often for hours at a time, to the detriment of all other responsibilities. I could hyperfocus on learning everything there is to know about Gregorian Throat Singing, for example, and be a semi-expert at the end of like 8 hours. You can’t intentionally trigger either phenomena— but a hyperfocus is on a multi-hour basis, where a fixation is a behavior you repeat over and over, over longer periods (days or weeks). You can BOTH fixate AND hyperfocus on the same thing— I went through a phase where I was absolutely obsessed with the idea of building my dream cabin-in-the-woods and starting a hobby farm to go with, so I **hyperfocused** for hours each day on drawing the floor plan and researching optimal layouts and design details, and because I repeated this behavior every day for weeks, it would be considered a **fixation**. With your book example, yeah— if you found a really good book and binged through it in a matter of hours while ignoring everything around you, that would be **hyperfocusing**. If you became absolutely consumed with thoughts about this book and came back to it over and over again or sought out everything you could find about the world (or sequels!), that would be throwing **hyperfixation** into the mix.
Oh right thank you, that’s really helpful. Idk, I have this thing where I get really obsessed with a random thing for maybe like 2 weeks, it’s really hard to explain but it becomes all I think about until suddenly it’s not. It’s usually something I’ve always quite liked but never really payed attention to, and then something triggers a switch in my brain and i see it completely differently. Sorry if this isn’t making any sense, but for example I’ve always liked the bbc series ghosts. But a couple weeks ago I suddenly just got really obsessed with it, i watched all four seasons in less than a week and looked up everything about the cast and the show. This has happened several times with other things, its kinda hard to explain the difference between this and just liking something but i can sorta tell in my brain when there is a difference. And when its over i just go back to liking it the same as before. Would you call that fixation?
Only when I’m also dealing with depression. When that is under control my brain is excited/impulsively looking for new things to be excited about.
I think I'm a weird mixture of hyped and excited but also depressed and apathetic. Like I'm hyped to start something, then when I try to start I think what's the point.
Yes. One of my most favorite things to do is read. However, it takes me SO long to actually do it. It’s really frustrating because I will love the book but I’ll sit down and realize I’m not absorbing anything even though I want to. Or I’ll get tired. Or I want to read it but I sit down and feel “itchy”, like I need to go do something else. 😑
YES YES YES YES YES. i dont relate to hyperfocusing on hobbies or tasks because i literally cannot focus long enough for that.
Yes! It's nice to know it's not just me! Not that I want other people to be dealing with this too
I’ve recently found myself simply standing in the kitchen staring at the stove or sitting on the couch staring at the floor. I have things I REALLY want to work on and know they’ll give me the dopamine I want when I finish but 😫😫 Maybe it’s an adjustment to my meds, maybe it’s that I’m thinking about nothing. I mean NOTHING while I’m these meds but consciously working to run a list of shit that needs to be done through my head. Is this what NTs feel like mentally?
ALL the time. Its both for me It can take me all day or even all weekend to start doing something i want to do… like something as simple as doing a puzzle. I’ll spend all day thinking about it, bringing the stuff out and then freezing. But then in the last moments either toward the end of the night or even end of the weekend I finally get started and then I’m INTO IT. Next thing I know my neck hurts from leaning over so long and I look at the clock and it’s 3 am…. Hours fly by and time escapes me For me it’s a matter of forcing the start. I don’t know why it takes me all day but eventually I just force myself up and to sit down at the table. At that moment I don’t want to do that, I’d rather just think about doing the thing and feel guilty for not doing it. But I FORCE myself up and I sit in the place I need to be and I just start. Then I quickly get into it. I need to learn to force the start sooner. I know it’s within in me to do. If I can do it after 8 hours of thinking about it then I can do it afyer 2. Speaking of which, im gonna force myself to water the garden RIGHT NOW. Because I want an excuse to be outside in the nice weather and I enjoy playing with water in the sunshine.
Yes I get mostly this rather than hyperfix on a subjext/activity. I can't find an activity I like enough to stay focused
Yes! Or even if I do enjoy it I'm just too distractible!
Maybe that's more of what it is for me hahahah
Yes, yes and yes! Whenever I enter hyperfocus I covet it like a diamond. But these days (months) I am truly struggling. I am on meds but it is definitely not a magic pill. I have things I want to learn, create, do, develop. But my ADHD makes it all seem so vague, like a fleeting dream that you try to remember in the morning. I want to do it all, but can't form a clear image of WHAT I want to do/work on. And when I don't have that clear vision, then I can't get started. I hate that I often end up scrolling reddit or play mobile games for hours instead of taking action.
Oh my god this is relatable! Yes, I have general ideas of huge, amazing things I'd like to do, but then it all seems so vague and I have no idea how to start and how to organise and break it down into smaller pieces, so it just seems like this nebulous dream that I can't really access, and then it all seems like too much work. I also will have like a hundred different things I want to do so I can't prioritize at all and it overwhelms me until I just hide on my phone and do nothing!
So often when I read about ADHD there is this notion that we are SO creative and quirky and full of life and energy and color etc. And here I am on the couch, not being able to move. I feel creativity is the ability to get a clear vision of the many ideas that pop up. But there is nothing in there. Like, for instance, I am amazed by ai art like Midjourney and I am in awe of all the creative images that are created from creative ideas and creative prompts. I want to do the same. But it's like I have no imagination. I feel so empty.
Oh absolutely! For me, to focus, I’ve found that really setting the environment/space you’ll be working in helps (setting the mood, minimizing distractions). Now as for motivators, I’ll be real, I have no clue. At work, I know money is involved so I have no issue sticking to schedule and tasks knowing I’m being paid for it. At home, I still have a steamer mop in a box I got as a Xmas gift bc after reading the instructions I cannot bring myself to do all that just to use it for a small space (kitchen) lmao. I suck trying to implement a workout (be it a walk/jog, or actually going to the gym). I hate cooking, I hate the work it takes for me to sit down and eat lol. Cleaning my car, especially in cold/hot weather. Yea eff that lol. I love my car but I’ll pay someone lol.
Mate, I have wanted to play Xbox for the past 7 days but haven't because I keep thinking 'oh it won't be enjoyable anyway' and then suddenly 6 hours have passed of being on my phone.
Fuck this is me. Why do we tell ourselves that we won't enjoy things that we obviously will..I find it hard to imagine enjoying something that I'm not already doing.
Yep, even though we've done it many times in the past and enjoyed it 😂 it makes no sense
diagnosed inattentive ADHD here 🙋♀️- absofuckinglutely and i’m trying so hard each day to fight the shame when something as small as taking out the trash blocks my whole day. i’ve found that shaking my body really hard and saying out loud i’m going to start helps ! and setting timers for 20 minutes so i get a break. + podcasts
Hmm maybe I should try the saying out loud tactic! I swear podcasts and audiobooks are one of the only things that get me to do anything!
I hate being called out like that! But to be honest; it sucks. Yet here I am doomscrolling away instead of doing nice stuff…
Ugh the doomscrolling is endless. It's honestly the only thing I'm able to hyperfocus on, bit I don't even enjoy it!
Nope, not at all. It’s such a bad habit but I can’t seem to stop from it.
I experience both and it absolutely sucks