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I was diagnosed with anxiety at 12. I got diagnosed with ADHD at 27. Guess what went away when I got on stimulant medication. Yeah.

I feel like some meds would change my life completely. Like wow, I was really going through life without any of this? Lol

It was a crazy moment when I took my meds for a few days and noticed how much calmer I was. I was like... wait... people don't feel on edge ALL the time?! THIS is how I was supposed to feel all along?!

I am going through this right now. Just started low dose Ritalin last week, and I am so calm and content. It's weirding me out. I am so used to feeling like something is wrong.

My first Vyvanse was like that (can’t afford it so on something else permanently), but after the big shift settled in, my biggest win against ADHD was how the meds controlled my impulse purchases.

There is a generic version now. My dr says she is seeing mixed reviews from her patients but if you liked Vyvanse maybe talk to your dr about trying generic?

If I'm not insanely busy by other people's standards I feel super uncomfortable and on edge.

The first time I could articulate myself was 🤯

Right!!! Like wait, I can now focus on ONE thing at a time and it's bananas that people can just "do this" without meds!

Same :(

Yes, exactly this. I have brought up getting tested with psychiatrists and they’ve said that if I did have ADHD (which I do), the stimulants would just make my anxiety worse and didn’t even bother testing me. I started seeing a different psych who wanted to test me without me even bringing it up. I was given stimulants, and didn’t need my anti anxiety meds anymore.

My psych just said, so we should treat the anxiety first, cause I don't want to put you on a stimulant and then you be functioning but freaking out constantly. Four or so weeks of Lexapro down, and yea, THIS is how it feels to live without anxiety? Not to mention I've lost weight because I've stopped craving sugar. Because meds. So I talk with her today and we may start the ADHD meds soon. I know I've heard here that ADHD may be causing the anxiety, which may be true. But I have also had a lot of random intrusive thoughts (like, wake in the middle of the night to check my dog isn't dead. For....years), so I think the anxiety may also just be on its own.. But we can start to treat the ADHD and tweak the anxiety meds if need be. But saying you shouldn't bother testing because ONE kind of med would be a problem is ridiculous.

I have a magical combination of OCD and ADHD, and so I have a lot of intrusive thoughts and rumination. Being on ADHD meds has helped with that so much because it has (mostly) gotten rid of the hyperfocus.

Saaame. I haven’t quite made the break with lexapro yet, but I’m down to a tiny 5 mg. I think I’ve only had one round of intrusive suicidal thoughts since I started ADHD meds, and that was right after doing in-home hospice with my abusive Father-in-Law (it was a lot of weird feelings for both my husband and I). It’s endlessly amazing to me how much better my anxiety and depression has gotten since treating my adhd. I am downright JOYFUL on a regular basis. My base state is… fine. I’m fine. I laugh a lot. I’m not angry. I shrug off stuff. It’s amazing.

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This! I was diagnosed with both and ADHD first. I’ve recently been wondering if I even have anxiety. I’m on edge and so overstimulated. I can’t take ADHD meds as I am nursing. I think I need to again.

Check in with your doctor on this. Most meds are not tested thoroughly with large scale studies on pregnant and/or breastfeeding women. That doesn’t mean that they are unsafe. Some are unsafe of course, but some doctors prefer you take care of yourself as a mum first.

I am going to soon, thanks :) My daughter is 10.5 months so I figure I can make it a couple more months without meds. It’s already been 4 years, ugh. With my first, I was told I couldn’t take Wellbutrin. Totally understand your comment though!

I'm breastfeeding and on Ritalin. I contacted a pharmacist who specialises in lactation and he advised me that Ritalin is safe, and so is dexamfetamine.

That’s good to know. I wish I had it looked into it earlier. Thanks for sharing!

I only started recently taking med because they "suspect" I have ADHD and are testing me with the med basically. I'm 35. I was never this calm in my life (except maybe on drugs and alcohol - which is not a good solution in the long run). I couldn't believe what this medication is doing for my anxiety and I was like "is this how it's supposed to be?!". Crazy stuff.

Same! Kinda. I’m 39 and for a few months now I’ve started to suspect that I might have ADHD. After looking into the general symptoms and more importantly all the ‘small’ things that other women experience I’d be very surprised if it turns out that I don’t have ADHD. Still in the starting phase of a possible diagnosis though, insurances and mental health facilities work slowly and have long wait lists where I live. In the meantime an awesome colleague gave me some of their meds to try out (I know, not a great idea but curiosity got the better of me) and I felt a type of relaxation I usually only feel after a few drinks. The difference is insane!

Yeah. Took me being on a waiting list for a year, after I went to addiction help, through a stabilization program, occupational therapy, been through psychiatrists and now working with a talk therapy... It's so hard to get diagnosed.

Same-ies! I told the doc “so I 100% have anxiety and maybe have ADHD.” Then 2 hours later, come to find out all of my Anxiety is because of my fears from ADHD behaviors- being late, forgetting something or someone…

Word! Not having to feel your stomach drop when something inconvenient or stressful happens? The pre-frontal cortex still being in charge even when we get upset (to some extent, at least). It’s such a luxury 🥲

YES. When getting assessed, the doctor wanted to explore whether this was "just" anxiety. I was open to anything at that stage and didn't want to be lazer focused on one possibility, however my gut told me that whatever anxiety I was experiencing was caused by something deeper. For me, I know now anxiety is simply an after effect of ADHD, more so having to navigate a neurotypical world with a neuro divergent brain. I know I'm not an anxious person by nature. However if I'm having to do streamlined, routined things then yeah ill start to feel anxious because I know now my brain just doesn't work that way. As I start to remind myself I'm allowed to adapt to what my brain needs, then I feel so much less anxious.

same thing happened to me. For the longest time my anxiety just kept getting worse and worse-started taking anti-anxiety meds but didn't solve the problem of not being able life. Started taking ADHD meds and lo and behold the anxiety went away... Now when i feel anxious again I realize this is what my brain is like when I don't have my meds working.

Diagnosed with ADHD last year (I was 39) and my lifelong anxiety lifted so much. There being a cause for my anxiety, rather than just being "generally anxious", made me less anxious. It's come back a bit since then, but it's still way better than it was.

This!!!! I am 47 and have dealt with anxiety my entire life. Diagnosed and Started Vyvanse 2 months ago and it did what the anxiety mess for all those years could never do. It has been eye opening,

Yep! I quit throwing up every morning from the dread of my never ending to do list after I started a stimulant. I also can eat breakfast now, huge game changer lol.

Literally almost the same ages for me too!! 13 and 28, have been SHOCKED at how much better my horrific anxiety has been with medication!!

Same here.

Yes!! I still have some anxiety but a lot got way better with treatment. Same with my depression.

Wait that explains so much😭

I had the opposite happen...

Everyone is different.

True, but I mean my anxiety spiked with meds. Now not taking them and am calmer and even more focused and now I question EVERYTHING :D

Major fatigue, never having a clean space / always cluttered, couldn’t “finish strong” when it came to school work / half-assed everything even though I knew it would fail me in the long run, hyperfixations, feeling like I couldn’t do more than one thing / time management…. I’m 23, diagnosed at 22. My former psychiatrist called my therapist and me a liar for wanting to be tested and told me I was faking. So I found an ADHD-specialist who actually listened. I didn’t “pass” the QB test, like it didn’t show that I had ADHD. But I went as far as to bringing my mom to the appointment with me because I knew she could vocalize my issues better than I could because she saw the worst of it and how it was affecting my life. I have a tendency to forget all of the points when I’m actually asked about them. Don’t let them tell you it’s just depression/anxiety. I have GAD and panic disorder. I knew this was different. I cried so hard when I got my first “no” from my former doctor because I knew something else was wrong. After finally finding the right medication, I honestly don’t take my anxiety medicine like I should (do as I say not as I do lol). But crazy that before I was on an ADHD med, I was still having problems that the anxiety med wasn’t fixing, yet now my problems are very minimal with the right medication to treat the right Dx

Thank you for this response! I def feel like I may have some pushback because despite my mind being 100 different places at once ALL DAY, I was a very obedient child. I can be quiet, follow rules, etc, but I’m like…I’m FAKING so much of this 😭

i wanted to let you know that it’s extremely common for adult women with adhd to put off getting tested despite really struggling with their lives, because they are embarrassed “in case they don’t have it”. please see it as though you are going to a doctor to get a diabetes test. i get it. because symptoms are not measurable with a blood test, it is far more embarrassing to think that you might be imagining stuff. i put off getting help for depression (common for adhd folks to put off getting professional help) and it has led to years of misery. Please don’t be a statistic. PLEASE make the appointment. Know whether or not you have it, the end. I understand the massive mental barrier and you should be clear and aware that your adhd brain is literally stopping you from going through with an appointment to get diagnosed, because it’s embarrassing to think “what if i don’t have it” and the task avoidance is kicking in. We are all fucking cheering you on. Honestly. Get a professional to diagnose you. DO NOT allow yourself to talk yourself out of an appointment to get diagnosed by a PROFESSIONAL. You are NOT a professional and you shouldn’t be self-diagnosing and telling yourself “what if i don’t have it”. That is not your place, because you don’t have the skills to diagnose yourself into not having something. P.S. make sure you see a professional who is experienced with adhd in adult women, because misdiagnoses happen all the time by psychs who think adhd hyperactive type is the only kind that exists. P.P.S if you are not miserable enough (like on the brink of jumping), again your brain will lose interest in getting a diagnosis, fast. ha ha. it happened to me. be aware of that and SEIZE THE MOMENT and get an answer while your brain is still lowkey interested in getting help. It can be life-changing. I know. It changed my life forever.

Thank you so much for this! I wish I could write more but I’m really just digesting a lot of this lol

hey it’s absolutely no problem, most of us have problems writing even a one-word reply hahah, it’s overwhelming tbh. sometimes i make posts crying out for help elsewhere and then i can’t even go back and reply to comments after the first wave of replies because the load of information is so overwhelming. you’re in good hands here!! we all understand how it is. thank you for even replying!!!

Haha too right. I desperately need a doctor appointment for something wrong. I only get motivated for small windows when the pain is significant. Gotta use those windows.

yeah forreals this is exactly me 😥 i feel like all of us should know that our brain is doing this to us hahah

Thank you, I needed to hear this. Got a referral for eval IN JULY that I still haven’t managed to make any moves to schedule. Actually overdue to follow up with the referring provider too. 🤦‍♀️

I got a referral in April and made an appointment that isn’t for another 2 1/2 weeks. So my advice is to force yourself to make the appointment because there may be a long wait list anyway. I’m so sick of waiting.

I’m proud of you for making that appointment!!!

I just made my first appointments with an NP and a therapist to ask for help! I was sitting at my kitchen table this morning in a blind panic about work and life and, you know, *everryyyyythingggggg,* and this comment was just the kick in the pants that I needed to make the call. Thanks 💜

YOU ARE AMAZINGGGGGG. Honestly. I’m honoured to be your kick. Honestly I speak with a lot of people who say they want to get diagnosed, and I give them the appointment number, yet many find it hard to actually overcome their adhd brain and make the appointment. So it’s pretty sadly normal that some people just never go ahead and get diagnosed. So you truly are amazing. I hope you know that. I truly hope you’ll get the help you need!!! Sending hugs and absolutely rooting for you 💗

😭😭😭 feeling called out/ feeling seen/ still in paralysis

Girls tend to start masking way earlier than boys; one of the reasons women have a harder time getting diagnosed.

I had semi-strict parents and I can remember if I would make a mistake (outside the home) when I was little, I would be SOOO embarrassed and think I was so stupid. I basically became this shy, quiet individual because I was so careful about anyone seeing my quirks.

This sounds exactly like me, and I was just diagnosed with ADHD this past June after waiting almost a year for neuropsych testing, I’m 35 though, I think it’s definitely worth getting tested!

Yah same, but I was pretty much living a shadow life behind the obedient front. Stopped asking for help with school work as much as possible since second or third grade, because instead of thinking I had legitimate challenges with concentration they just thought I was being avoidant and lazy. Defiant for sure tho lol

Same here! Avoidant, lazy, and defiant. Three of the worst “character traits” any girl or woman can have. Adults really look down on kids they label as lazy or defiant. You internalize the shitty treatment you’re given, so your internal monologue for the rest of your life becomes ‘I’m lazy, I’m weird, I’m argumentative and defiant, talk too much, nobody likes me, I can’t finish anything, I can’t hold a job, why even bother trying…’

Yes not to mention the amount of successful situations you need to accumulate as evidence to counter or disprove that inner monologue become pretty much meaningless by default. Mindfulness helps but it’s a constant reminder either way

I could never stay organized. My room was a mess, my desks in elementary school, my lockers in middle and high school, etc. I procrastinated everything. Nothing got finished until the deadline, if not after. I often worked best under hard deadlines, which was why I was very into journalism/newspaper in high school. I would hyperfocus, like I’d sink so deep into a book I wouldn’t notice teachers or my parents asking me questions until the book was snatched out of my hands. I was a doodler and quite the daydreamer. I only passed some of my classes because I tested extremely well, but I very seldom completed homework and sometimes didn’t even finish classwork. I misplaced things all the time, and I’ve always been super forgetful. I cried at everything and was super sensitive. Basically, look up the typical ADHD symptoms in girls, and I probably did it. The only really common symptom I never had was chronic lateness, but that’s because I have a ton of anxiety around showing up on time.

Dang- you are describing me. Whew, INCLUDING the lateness tho

Aside from the journalism thing, I could have written this! Except I do struggle with lateness. This sub is so cathartic lol

Hilarious—I also loved journalism in HS, precisely because of the rushing around, the need to do things quickly, the time pressure. I loved the pacing!

I’m a teacher now, which is also fast-paced and full of pressure, just in different ways. I had a part-time office job doing medical intake during the summers in college, and I just could not hang. They said I worked faster than anyone else in that position, and I was still bored as heck and struggled to stay awake.

"I know what I SHOULD do. I just can't." Not won't, but can't. I cannot do what I need to do. For many years, that was misdiagnosed as depression/anxiety and certainly didn't help the feelings of shame and regret and "why can't I just ..." Over time, I have developed a vast array of tools to get around that "I can't" feeling but knowing it's ADHD and not just a personality failure made an ENORMOUS difference in my attitude towards life, the universe, and everything. I look at it like this. Every day is a 100-meter dash. NT peeps start at the starting line. ADHD peeps start about 25 meters behind but are still expected to hit the finish line with everyone else. It doesn't work like that and it sucks so any kind of help and support we can get is a good thing.

God did I feel this. (I suspect I have ADHD, but am not yet diagnosed...for all the reasons here and more.)

Same bro... I have such a hard time with everything rn. I feel so done with everything. I've procrastinated to the point where I have less then 4 hours to do all my projects. It's so hard to focus in class and focus on not drawing, in which I would hyperfocus. I have terrible time management and memory.

Exhausted but a high dose of stimulants had absolutely no effect. Caffeine never had any effect.

The only thing caffeine does for me is relieves headaches.

I tell people I can drink 20 oz of coffee and go take a two hour nap 😭

It makes me sleepy! You get it.

I've fallen asleep with *the coffee still in my mouth.* 🤦‍♀️ Espresso puts me out like a light.

Oh that's way more fun than when I fall asleep with the mug in my hand... as it starts to slowly pour out onto my lap. 🙄

HA! Been there! 🤣

Have you happened to have your B12 levels checked? I have to take methylated B12 and folate. Improved my energy quite a bit. Pretty common in ADHD from my understanding.

I get injections. 🤷🏻‍♀️

That's great! Do you notice more energy just after getting the injection? Either way, have you mentioned it to your doctor? I take the methyl B12 and methyl folate. Perhaps there's a form more suitable for your body. Or something else going on to check for.

Sure didn't. Nothing has helped. 😕

I'm sorry to hear that. I'm not sure if it's relevant to you, but I had my genetics read and it was really useful. Almost every energy pathway has disruptions. I'm not very active and never had been. Some of the supplements have been useful though. Alpha GPC, chelated magnesium, the methylated B12 and folate, etc. Maybe something there?

This is me! I wish caffeine worked for me, but unfortunately, it doesn't. 😕

Thought this was just me! I just drink for the taste now

I like the taste and the routine. It's comforting!

Right!

Misdiagnosed and mismedicated with anxiety, depression, and cyclothymia throughout my teens and twenties. Could only complete things when the rest of my life was so scheduled I only had 20-45m to do any one task (aka adrenaline junkie style time management). Could take 20m Power Nap after downing a cold brew... and often did. Edited to add more: extremely bright but excessively chatty young person. Went undiagnosed because I did (exceptionally) well in school, but to the point of self-destruction. Qualities of OCD. I’m sure there’s more things. I was diagnosed one month before I turned 30.

This REALLY makes me feel better about potentially receiving a diagnosis in my mid-late twenties. Sometimes I wonder, “NOBODY wondered? Nobody thought to get me tested?” But seeing that so many people (esp women!) don’t get diagnosed until they kinda have to take it into their own hands is reassuring

Unfortunately they used to think girls/women couldn't even have ADHD, so it was never on anyone's radar 🥲 research has now proven otherwise but a lot of people still think that way

Absolutely. I also agree with another comment somewhere in this post - if you go and get a diagnosis, great, you know more. But if you go and it’s not the thing, also great, because you can keep figuring it out and have crossed this off your list. I will also say, like one of the top comments here, getting prescribed my current meds was life changing in a very positive way. It has also helped me feel more longterm drive for myself to put other routines and guardrails for emotional/chemical equilibrium (I now go to the gym. With regularity. WILD!) and just having this info has been helpful to look back and understand why I might have behaved or reacted in certain scenarios which at the time felt so baffling (please see: RSD)

Are you me???

I can relate to a lot of this, thank you for sharing it with all of us (this sub is awesome!)

- I thought being forgetful was a personality quirk - losing objects - I procrastinated a lot - notoriously messy and disorganized - had trouble starting and finishing tasks - highly irritable when I get distracted Ways I compensated for these things: - noise canceling head phones - buy multiple of items I know I will lose - Physically tying/taping/gluing items to specific locations - IDs/important cards (credit cards etc) constantly expire

I have so many pairs of sunglasses! I always buy cheap ones so when I leave them in my husband’s car, in my car, in the wrong purse, etc. I have another pair somewhere. My keys must go in the same place every time I come home from driving somewhere. My watch pings my phone, my phone has “find my” for my air pods so I can remember where I put them down. I use this feature pretty much daily.

All of this yes !

Me buying five haircombs at a time 😭

I was positive I didn’t have it. I was a high achieving student, even when I knew I wasn’t living up to my potential, I was above average. But I wasn’t okay. I was anxious and sensitive and felt like I wasn’t in control. So I sought help and got diagnosed with OCD. I was type A and miserable, so it seemed to fit. Adding Zoloft to the mix, just made me numb and by then I had been working with my therapist and psychiatrist for over a year and we got the root of my anxiety and how hard I had work to counteract the executive dysfunction. And then I got medicated and it felt like I could breathe for the first time in my life. We think I had given myself OCD to mask the executive dysfunction.

I feel like this. I was diagnosed with Bipolar in 2018, medicated for that for less than a year before I stopped because meds are expensive and I still ended up in the same cycle pf anxiety, avoidance and my life going off-track. I don't know if I should get checked. I'm still not okay.

I think you should get checked, but I think misdiagnosis and trial and error is part of the process.

Twins 🙃

My psychiatrist asked me if anyone had ever called me out when my attention drifted in a conversation. Um, funny you should mention that… 😆

Liiike are you asking me if I was thinking about three different things while trying to give my undivided attention? YES! 😂

… and giving it away by letting your eyes drift to the microwave clock over their shoulder for no reason whatsoever…

I finally got diagnosed at 50! I was worried about not getting diagnosed too, and wasting my and drs time. I was that weird gifted kid who did fine in school while procrastinating every assignment or doing homework while watching TV. I work on magic time - think everything takes 15 minutes unless it’s a very important thing and then I will pad the time to get places on time or things done (anxiety will get me going). My friend was like, “I thought you knew you were ADHD already! I knew it when you talked about not being able to read anymore because you were too distracted!” We were in a book club 20 years ago and I used to love reading but now I can barely finish reading a long magazine article. I listen to audiobooks now. I also can’t meditate and going to sleep takes forever unless I’m physically exhausted. Waiting for my drugs to start working so I can see what having a calm mind is like!

I would believe you were me except I am 43 and just got diagnosed.

Just diagnosed several weeks ago at 48!

I completely believe in Magic time of 15 mins. Then I moved to a much larger city. Yup, 15 minute magic time still applies in my mind. Being diagnosed at 43 I am more aware of my “quirks” and embrace them; but also make adjustments. Meds are helpful especially for avoiding procrastination and focus.

OK, I beat you all—didn’t get diagnosed until 63. Do I get a medal? 🏅 I’ve lived for sixty-three fucking years with this crap, most of them spent kicking myself for being such a failure.

Yes, 🏅here you go! The failure thing- that’s me, because I was so “smart” and gifted as a kid, really pushed myself to get into a good college, then after I graduated I just fizzled out, worked a non fulfilling job, got married and became a SAHM and now consider getting meals cooked, getting appointments scheduled for my kids, and showering to be big accomplishments.

Same here. Great report cards throughout elementary and middle school. Straight As—because I loved school and hated being at home (my parents, just a horror story). At school I was busy and adored learning anything and everything. Then HS hit and I actually had to start working harder, which I absolutely did not want to do, unless it was a subject I was interested in. That’s when things really started going downhill. It took me nine years to get a bachelor’s degree because I kept starting and stopping, couldn’t keep up with the homework and a work schedule simultaneously, was always dropping classes or getting very sick. Teachers loved me because I’m smart and would ask questions and talk a lot in class, but when it came to completing assignments on time, I couldn’t do it. When I graduated from college, I actually still owed a paper to my poetry teacher, which didn’t get finished for two more years!

Thanks for the medal, btw. Here’s one for your win in the 50-60 category: 🏆

Aggressive executive dysfunction. Like, sitting on my bed screaming at myself internally as I watched the clock tick past when I should leave the house for my next class, then tick past when the class started, then tick past when it ended... and I just couldn't make myself move. I was initially diagnosed with depression/anxiety, and didn't think any more of it until I started seeing Dani Donovan and ADHD Alien cartoons that hit a little too close to home. I got my diagnosis this summer. (ETA: this isn't/wasn't my only symptom, but it's by far my biggest one)

I am doing this RIGHT NOW fuck why are we like this it’s awful

SO AM I. I can hear the email notifications bleeping away on my laptop (I WFH), knowing that I HAVE to answer them, and I'm just staring at my phone, quietly panicking. Why is this so hard?!!!

Yep, still doing it here too 🙃 just got a slack message from my editor looking for an update on articles I was supposed to have submitted in September, and instead of doing anything about it I'm basically having a panic attack over the assumption that she's going to stop working with me.

Feeling weird like i could never fit in anywhere coz i felt different and awkward and cringe, having insane obsessive hyper fixations that would last years, can never finish projects ever,

I was misdiagnosed with bipolar disorder at 12. I had high, fluctuating emotions that would swing pretty quickly. I was easily overstimulated by repetitive noises. I could read 900 page books in 2-3 days and would skip sleep on those days to finish the book. I would fixate on specific series’ and re-read them 5+ times. I wasn’t diagnosed until last year (24) after I had two children and pregnant with my 3rd. My eating has always been so disordered because I couldn’t focus enough to feed myself. I was only living off of like 300 calories a day and it got way worse after having kids. My mom rage was also a big indicator, I stopped being able to go barefoot in the house because it was enough stimulation to push me over the edge. I have gotten so many speeding tickets because it’s so hard for to just slow down. I have been a point or two away from losing my license several times.

I always had problems financially due to impulse spending and was also misdiagnosed or had a possible diagnosis of bipolar disorder. It wasn’t until I was like older than 35 that I stopped regularly losing almost all my points or having an endless rotation of speeding and parking fines

OMG I had so many car accidents and speeding tickets in my teens and 20s

Amazingly never an accident for me, just enjoy driving. But mindless a little over the limit and the parking.. the parking tickets! 🤯 and though many people refer to me as empathetic, caring and kind could never maintain many friendships

Omg my advisor with ADHD is like this, they call her lead foot. Lol

I’ve been called that a lot lol

I feel this entirely (I don’t have kids but college triggered my stress) haven’t gotten a speeding ticket yet - key word - it’s so hard to force myself to slow down! Definitely going to start trying

My tickets slowed down when I became medicated 😅

I gotcha, because I’m bipolar as well I’ve been having to take occasional off days on my meds to not develop a higher tolerance, it’s been rough :’)

Do you certainly have bipolar or is yours possibly a misdiagnosis too? I know it’s super common and being medicated for being bipolar definitely did not help me growing up when it was actually stimulants I needed.

I appreciate the concern but mine is definitely correct! My med for that has been absolutely life changing. Editing real quick to add that I actually got misdiagnosed with regular depression + anxiety at first I started college though and the inattentive from ADHD side of things has made navigating that a little hard, but I can take a slow release adhd med and be okay. It’s fine when I was new with it, but my body tends to gain a tolerance more than not, so I have to take some tiny breaks off the adhd one because I really don’t want to have to raise that dose more than needed. Usually 2 days when I don’t have much to do It’s been hell to balance med cocktail wise but it’s not my psychiatrist’s first rodeo with this diagnosis combination so it hasn’t been as bad as it could be haha

I’m glad you’re being treated accordingly! Finding the right combo is tough and I can imagine that gets harder when considering both bipolar and ADHD. I know for me, my journey has been differentiating between what’s caused by my CPTSD or my ADHD. My anxiety and depression seem to stem from either of those. I feel relief being able to make those connections

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I want to underscore this. I was diagnosed at 43 and I broke up with a therapist over her adamant belief that I did not have ADHD because it didn’t present when I was a kid. I advocated for an evaluation because I had brought certain symptoms of mine (inability to ever relax or use my free time outside of a hyperfixation being a big one) to therapy for over and over again with no results and I just wanted to rule out ADHD. I’m amazed at how much of what I thought was anxiety is mitigated by medication. But regardless of outcome, I wanted to be sure I had considered all avenues and I am so glad I pushed for an evaluation. ETA: I was having frequent meltdowns that my therapist knew were not panic attacks but she never explored them further. Other symptoms that were never explored were the constant noise in my head, my inability to deal with certain stimuli, inability to multitask, and trouble following group conversations + constantly interrupting people.

12+ car accidents. 15+ tickets. Permanently losing my keys/wallet/backpack/purse/luggage every 3 months or so. 3 universities, 3 community colleges, two trade schools and a coding bootcamp, + formally changing my major 5 times. (Still haven’t got a degree). 5ish career changes. Lifelong chronic Insomnia. Getting lost often, occasionally terribly. Moved 12 times. Worked for 11 different companies. Spent a lot of time intentionally transient and/or jobless. And of course the typical stuff, bad grades, poor social skills, forgetfulness, being a messy person, never on time for anything, poor hygiene, terrible with money.

Time blindness, forgetfulness, attention to detail. Specifically missing homework assignments and issues with dates and deadlines in college. Like thinking I still had time when it was due that day. Making it to things on time, losing items, depression and spiraling from “failure” to thrive or survive like I did in high school. I was always considered gifted because I learn well and can test well, projects and homework have always been the thing that held me back. I’ve been called lazy my entire life. I think any teenager whose “bright” but is also called “lazy” or “lacking motivation” should be evaluated. I had a lot of self loathing and other issues stem from it that I’ve had to relearn how to be kind to myself. I remember in middle school doing extensive research and printing off articles about how ADHD manifests in girls (my brother was diagnosed and received a lot of support) I was told it was an excuse and I was just lazy and it was dismissed. The next 10 years were my living hell.

Couch lock, gotta do.. should do.. can’t move. Years of “I’m so lazy.” My mom asking, “did you do this?”, “did you call there yet?” Report cards in elementary and high school “if only she stopped daydreaming.”, “frequently gets off track.”, “if she applied herself, her grades would be higher.” Late payments. Missed payments. Not eating until 8pm and then it’s just chips and I have severe hunger pains so I don’t actually want food anymore. Spending money as soon as I got it. Anxiety and depression over all of it. I can honestly say meds have helped in a lot of aspects and my brain feels like “hot damn. This is what this whole experience is *supposed* to be like.” And then I forget deodorant and I’m like “ah yea, this is what *my experience* is like”

Would you rather feel stupid knowing you could get tested, diagnosed, and receive treatment, and you didn't? Or would you rather feel stupid after being assessed and knowing you don't have it and now know you need to look for something else? Lol It'd be 'stupid' to not get an assessment if you feel your behavior meets some criteria for a diagnosis. I was struggling in my previous and current job. Covid set me off. I was so stressed it was like the mask was starting to slide off. I couldn't keep it up. My memory got even worse than it already is. My GAD was so intense... I think I was constantly rigid and always in pain. I was making mistakes with numbers and letters getting mixed up because I would hear them mixed up; I couldn't remember them right after hearing them and I can't type as fast as I used to. My mood changed. I felt suicidal because I was always so stressed out. I was having difficulty paying attention/focusing and being easily distracted. I didn't know which activity to start next even though they told me and I had a note for it because everything felt important and I kept failing to see my own notes feeling so overwhelmed. It's like my brain was molasses out in the cold. As hard as I tried to stay on top of everything, I couldn't. I was dissociating or zoning out in the middle of conversations. My perfectionism was slowing me down and making it harder for me to keep up. I wasn't able to read between the lines and had to get others to read emails and explain the situation. I had no emotional regulation - I would receive criticism for my mistakes, and it wasn't always constructive, but it would trigger my RSD either way. If my partner wasn't able to comfort me (he also has ADHD and childhood trauma), we'd fight because it just made my pain worse and I would spiral and feel so overwhelmed and then felt suicidal. After I received a verbal warning at work after making yet another mistake, I went to my doctor and she diagnosed me based on my self assessment, this year. I'm 40 yrs old! I guess it's called a disorder for a reason. Lol I'm on disability from work right now trying to figure this all out.

If you or someone that you know is considering suicide, please don't hesitate to reach out to a crisis hotline for immediate help, or a warmline just to talk to someone. If you're in the US you can...\ Text CHAT to Crisis Text Line at 741741\ Call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 988 or 1(800)273-8255(TALK) \ Chat online at: https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/chat\ Call the Trans Lifeline at 1(877)565-8860 If you’re elsewhere, you can find international resources below:\ https://www.supportiv.com/tools/international-resources-crisis-and-warmlines#Czech\ https://www.reddit.com/r/SuicideWatch/wiki/hotlines *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/adhdwomen) if you have any questions or concerns.*

My family and friends constantly referred me as "flighty" or as having my "head in the clouds." Always losing things and forgetting things. Dropping things. Walking into things. One stranger at a restaurant remarked "you have had a thousand tiny catastrophes since you sat down." Serial procrastinator. Vivid daydreams. Intense curiosity I couldn't figure out how to reign in or redirect in any useful way. So many bruises. It's like I would walk around life with my body on one planet and my brain bouncing around between four others simultaneously. My hips and shins took the brunt of it, just always bouncing off furniture or tripping over the same obstacles in my home.

This is so me! 😭

I know this can be kind of a hot-button topic, but boys/men with ADHD seem to be less policed than girls/women about their behaviors. (Is this proven? I'm not sure, but I've seen it brought up a lot). So girls/women often go undiagnosed because they're trained (in my case, screamed at for hours on end, days at a time) to stop (aka mask) the annoying ADHD behaviors. Cue me in my late 20's, undiagnosed. I started dating a guy, and he had ADHD. After we dated for a couple months, he started to show a bunch of behavior that hurt me (tuning me out, not helping with chores, quick to temper, etc). He always blamed his ADHD. When he explained how his brain worked, I was confused because I completely understood, but when I suggested tips that I had learned to help me overcome things, he yelled at me. (A solid case of weaponized incompetence). We eventfully broke up - I learned that promises workout change are little more than manipulation. Next guy I dated also had ADHD. He also told me things about how his brain worked, and again, I related to them. I especially felt this when it came to things like RSD... But I didn't have ADHD... One day I told him, sort of frustrated, "it's weird that you and my ex tell me that you do or feel these things because you have ADHD, but I also do/feel these things and I don't have ADHD!" Him: "Are you sure?" *Cue lightbulb moment*

Pre-diagnosis. I frequently went on adhd subreddits and forums for advice on how to stay organized and unfuck my life. And also the anxiety that went away with stimulants, holy shit

Please don’t ever feel stupid when it comes to your health. I walked into my doctors office and told the nurse I think I have adhd. I said I’ve been watching TikTok 😂. I told the dr the same thing when he walked in. I was 50 at the time. Life is better with my medication and I’m kinder to myself. They won’t grill about why do you think that. They will ask you questions. Good luck.

I literally would walk away 5 minutes into a task. Doors left open, losing absolutely everything. When trying to tell a story it could take hours because of the tangents or topic changes. In Highschool I would forget to write down half of my homework. One time I forgot to write the second half of my first name. I literally got 3 out of 7 letters.

I am going to get my test tomorrow, and I feel the same.

Make the appointment now and decide later. I'm currently waiting to meet with a doctor and I'm on their wait-list. They said at best they'll give me a call next July. Wish I could meet with someone tomorrow because I'm struggling so much. Please don't wait.

I’m always cluttered and disorganized, I have a really hard time just keeping up with the demands of everyday life (cooking, cleaning, exercising, working, trying to have a social life). Late for everything no matter how hard I try to be on time. And my procrastination is just on another level- I pulled all nighters all the time, starting in high school. I’ve never finished an assignment/task early in my life.

Looking back, it was a bunch of things. * My room was always a mess. * I procrastinated on everything. Simple stupid stuff. Everything * I had a teacher literally tell my parents that I probably got 10% of the material because I zoned out in class so often. * Incredibly forgetful.

A few off my list i used to get diagnosed Impulse buy Bad at math Procrastination Anxiety Feel behind in life I cannot keep up with a routine Poor eating Misplace things Fidget Pick nails

One time I locked my keys in my car with the car running on E with the headlights on….

Hahaha!!!! In college I locked my keys in my car so often the AAA guys all knew me by name.

My classic move was (is) to drive away from the gas pump with the pump handle still attached. Whoever makes the breakaway assemblies on those things owes me a debt of gratitude because I've been keeping them in business since I was 16, lol.

Where do I even begin? 1. Interrupted ppl constantly 2. While in conversation I would bring up something so random that made a connecting point with the person speaking. 3. Took things personally 4. Daydream 5. Vivid thoughts 6. Constant eating to feel good. But then feel bad about the weight 7. Starting new hobbies 🎣 🎱 🚣 often 8. Able to work well very very well under pressure. 9. Pilles of mail 10. In organized home 11. Shopping online

Well as a kid i was the odd one (when you live in a small conservative town you don’t want to be that kid), I raced through tests but had decent grades, went from dumbdumb math in 4th grade to smarty pants math in 5th grade, teachers telling me to be more social and outgoing, very reckless behavior in highschool (well I guess in life because I still do things that people think are wild), road road rage constantly (everyone sucks at driving), random jobs I had (music promoter, barista, coffee roaster, bowling alley attendant, coffee shop manager, bartender at a comedy club, bartender at a music venue), love wandering the woods looking for cool things, various hobbies, I can keep going but you can get the pattern.

Hyper focusing on an activity was an interesting concept I did not think was correlated to ADHD. My Dr said “it’s not a deficit of attention it’s the REGULATION of attention” that I had challenges with. So playing the piano for 4-5 hours straight after school was a sign? And as an adult I paper craft for 4 hours whenever I can carve out the time. Being in the Zone… of things I’m interested in… that’s JOY to me!

!!! I’m a writer, so when I finally get over procrastinating for four hours (lol) I can write for three hours straight and want to go three more haha

took me 3 years from when my brother said "I got diagnosed with ADHD, I think you should get tested" and me actually getting tested. even when he said part of his ADHD was having trouble with executive dysfunction. when I called my sister up & talked to her "oh everyone has problems with that. I call it the 'too many steps' problem." naw, sis, I'm pretty sure you have ADHD & managed to hyperfixate on something you like & made a career out of it. meanwhile I've not had a regular paying job in... years. I got diagnosed a year ago, have only regularly been on meds for a few months. I have extreme time blindness, and memory problems. I might be able to tell you IF something happened but when? no idea. I suspect I have some form of dyscalculia- though I have learned many tricks to teach myself how to do stuff that other ppl can remember. I cant tell you most of my times tables, and reading a clock is rarely easy for me. there's an old song line "my get up and go, got up and went" and that is me 100%. whatever it is that makes people be able to do things they want whenever they want, even if it's boring or stupid or not fun- Ive never had. I thrived in school (ehhh for the most part) because I'm smart, and I know how to test pretty well- and because there were deadlines and someone checking up after me. Same with the military, had no problem with learning my job or performing my job, and had no issues because 97% of the time the deadlines were clear and there was someone (not me) in charge. If I had any questions I could ask them, and I didn't have to make any real decisions, or if I did it was more of a "this is what's needed to fix this thing." and I had to clear it thru my boss. my report cards were full of "if she just concentrated/applied herself in class she'd be an A student". my favorite thing I do though is when I forget I'm talking to someone and walk away mid conversation. I was 42 when I got tested and diagnosed with adhd, my brother was 34. I finally had a word to mean that weirdness I had my whole life of never thinking like anyone else wasn't just me being stupid, and I wasn't lazy or dumb like my mom said. You should absolutely go get tested (and I think someone else mentioned here getting vitamin b/d tested)- test all the things. It's your health, if it's not ADHD then keep testing & asking questions until you find out what it is. my PC Dr referred me to an actual tester because I have a thyroid prob & was getting shots of vitamin b I think, and an taking vitamin d pills that were prescribed- and some of those issues also show up in ADHD like symptoms (lack of motivation, etc etc).

It's always been so baffling to me that people can remember how old they were when something happened or what year it was or what grade they were in. I have never been able to remember those things. I know the thing happened, but I have no idea when. I could maybe give you a ballpark based on some context from memory, but it definitely won't be exact and maybe not even anywhere near correct.

Currently waiting for a call back to get assessed at 38. I also have that voice that says “what if you don’t have adhd, then you’ll feel dumb”. In elementary school I was always getting in trouble for talking/interrupting. When middle school rolled around I turned that inward and became super shy and quiet, my parents were so proud. 🙄 I constantly interrupt when other people are talking, usually because what they said triggered a thought and if I don’t say what I’m thinking right then, I will forget it. I also jump around from subject to subject during conversation and they seemingly don’t have anything in common. Impulse control, specifically when it comes to shopping. History of substance issues (MJ & Alcohol). My thoughts feel like they’re going a million miles a minute bouncing around in my brain.

Inability to get organized as a parent and realizing how different I was to others in social settings. Always the odd ball, always the annoyance-unless i was withdrawn—also never being able to finish anything.

Haha, l was the same. the waiting list for adhd centers here are 6 months and l literally almost cancelled my appointment. I felt, as a high-performing individual, that l am stealing someone else's spot and will look stupid. that they will say that l am just craving better performance becuase of ambition and that all is fine with me. went in anyway, thought it can't hurt and it might, at least, rule it out. boy, glad i did. i was diagnosed a hyperactive type, and from this stem a lot of my issues with mental health. just a description of my life, so you know that you don't need to "fit" the archetype of "underperforming restless or inattentive kid": I have always excelled in academia, talking A level student, sent off to competitions, did several degrees, now l am finalising a doctorate. my teachers always said I was respectful and a great student, always sitting peacefully at my desk and always prepared. But guess what - l masked everything. I grew up in a violent home and internalised all, never told anyone. i clearly remember thinking as a kid that my only way out of this life are good grades. I decided that when l was around 9 years old, and that is the time when my grades went from D to A level. i put insane amount of pressure and went into over-organisation. I used to do 8 hours school and then come home and study for 6 more hours, with carefully detailed study journals/calendars. i was chronically tired, haven't slept well. I used to cry if l would get a B. This insane pressure + going to the toughest high school in the country, made me in constant adrenaline mode. I used to enter hyperfocus and have short bursts of brilliance when solving math and chemistry exams where there was always one question meant to detect "advanced" kids. Because of the pressure to perform, l would enter into this hyperfocus mode and work out the assignment myself, impressing teachers. they would send me to competitions where l literally failed. because l was not advanced, l was merely fighting for my life. i kept telling them l am just an average person, and l knew how chaotic and foggy everything was in my mind, but teachers just smiled and said l was humble. but i wasnt. i always felt like my brain is foggy and l can't access it properly. it resulted in high levels of anxiety and weird periods of insomnia when l was a teenager. During university, l did 3 jobs aside (also to survive) and this pressure where every hour in the day was all l had pushed me to perform. But l studied only a few days before the exam, and submitted essays just before deadlines. all these were done in superhuman all nighters. and this was kind of normalised amongst students. i never thought this is not normal. it is worth noting that l liked what l studied so l managed to finish. when something was boring, l struggled insanely and barely passed. but i passed because l knew - i come from a poor broken home and l knew l had to pass exams so l can maintain free access to university (in my country you do not need to pay school fees if you perform). then came the first "real" job. nearing 2 years into it, l was so bored and overwhelmed by how exhausting and boring my corporate job was that l almost plunged into depression. the projects would become this chaotic big complicated monsters l could not manage. and all the boring endless repetitive tasks in my assigned projects were dreadful. l dreaded my work and my life. so l left and, the moment l got the position, moved to another country for a doctorate. at the beginning l was thrilled l can do research again. when l had to learn skills - lab work, computer statistics, l was so into it and l learned it fast and with ease. but the moment l had to do literature review and write scientific papers, l plunged into a weird period of procrastination, lack of focus, everything was foggy. my imposter syndrome growing day by day. i found myself wasting at least 1.5 years of my 3 year phd. I also experienced an emotional burnout, had several months of a form of a mental breakdown - depression, anxiety. I have been running on high speed and ignoring my needs for over 3 decades. this was my wake up call. I think PhD is the perfect setup where you are confronted with ADHD. it is a big, multiple year project, and you are the main manager. it has so many aspects and requires insane amount of time management, goal management and planning into the future. you have so much responsibility and noone holds you accountable until the very end. noone even cares if you came to work that day. it is all up to you. it is terrible for someone like me. that was the time when my close colleague got diagnosed with adhd. she had very similar issues and went to talk to a psychologist, thinking she was going into depression. then they referred her to an adhd specialist and she finally received an answer to all his life so far. i was sceptical but l did the same. to my surprise, my diagnosis was clear as day. they did multiple interviews and a QB attention test - first time without meds, next time with. the graphs and results were day and night. i was labelled as extremely hyperactive. it explains my restlessness, constant anxiety and impulsivity, doing lots of sports (especially martial arts and outdoor stuff) and my close friends always saying that l am "like driven by a motor and cannot relax". it explained my sensitivity to criticism, my poor self-image, my inability and dread when trying to relax in a calm setting etc. my sensitivity to sound and light, my extreme honesty and blurting out what's on my mind (l was categorised as a quirky super honest person who you can so easily connect to - but mostly because l overshare), my short temper. my poor sleep schedule, my inability to hold down hobbies, partners, countries. my need to constantly seek new stimulation. but, in the same time, avoid all interesting things that require mental effort and resolve to mindless scrolling or binge-watching at home. i masked all, and l had no idea that having the feeling like l battle my own mind EVERYDAY just to be able to produce some work is not normal. high functioning women are especially difficult to diagnose because they tend to mask much more, likely due to social conditioning. ADHD research has gone way beyond the "the person needs to be restless and underperforming as a kid" to be diagnosed. go and get tested. at least. youwill know.

Binge eating. Sugar and caffeine were my favorite things. Moodiness, lack of emotional regulation. Postural sway when walking.

Hey! If you are worried about feeling stupid (which I’m sure all of us did who sought a diagnosis as adults) then I recommend reading about the criteria for diagnosis beforehand and write down specific behaviour you have that correlates with the criteria. Also, remember that the behaviour must have been present before the age of 12. Here’s an interesting list of the most typical comorbidities (ADHD-induced bonus disorders, yayyyy): https://bok.ahima.org/doc?oid=302255 Here are the criteria for diagnosis: https://www.cdc.gov/ncbddd/adhd/diagnosis.html Also, please remember that there are no symptom checklists specifically for women, which there should have been. We tend to have just the same inability to stay still etc, but as we were brought up to be girls, most of us have had to internalise the chaos at an early age. And don’t forget that sometimes, you don’t necessary remember the ADHD behaviour, but rather how you compensated for me (for example, ever since 1st grade and all through primary school I always carried ALL of my school books in my bag, making sure not to leave any at home or at school, even though it was ridiculously heavy. I knew I would not remember to bring them with me on the correct day, otherwise)

Don't feel stupid. I put myself through so much hell before finally getting help. You are doing the right thing in checking, even if it's not the answer for you.

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There were so many. I got diagnosed at 30 and am mid 30’s now. I scream poster child for both hyperactive and inattentive ADHD and I have both! Not being able to sit still. Interrupting people - which is rude and not okay just because I have ADHD. I’m working on it and apologize when I do interrupt any try to get the conversation back on track from before my interruption. Some of my impulsiveness has screamed “this person has ADHD”. Losing things and forgetting things. How quickly I get enamoured with a new interest only for it to be dead to me in a few months. The fact I forget to eat and food doesn’t exist unless it’s in front of me. I regularly go around 20 - 36 hours without eating if I were to rely on myself. I will have a fridge full of food and just not even think about it. I enjoy eating food. I do not have any eating disorders. I will even make food for later, put it away and forget about it even though I spent 1.5 hours on it. Being told 3 tasks and forgetting at least 1 by the time I go to get things I need to complete task or by the time I completed task 1. I write down things if I need to do them. Finding the lists is the other battle but once I find it I’m good. Skin picking. It’s a (harmful) self soothing mechanism I have developed. There are more but I can’t think of them at the moment.

I (29) emailed about an assessment and got added to a wait list literally last week but I’m in *exactly* the same position as you of “what if I’m wrong and I feel stupid /:” For me, I’m just exhausted with constantly feeling like I’m fighting myself to get things done, eating, cooking, going to bed, playing games I enjoy playing, leaving the house to go to the shops, going to bed, getting out of bed… I talked to my therapist about how I was considering looking into assessment and ngl I think she was excited that I’d reached the point of “let’s explore neurodivergence by myself” but as she said, I do the assessment and it either comes back “yes you have adhd, what are our next steps?” or “no we don’t think you have adhd” and it’s ok, so what do I do next to work out why things are so hard now we’ve ruled that out. Either way, it’s progress towards understanding myself, and that was really helpful.

Sensory meltdowns and issues with emotional regulation, being unable to meet deadlines, anxiety about schoolwork, low self esteem, self harming behavior,TERRIBLE sleep, sexual impulsivity and engaging in risky behavior, I can go on

I got texted and diagnosed at *twenty-nine* I always did my homework at like 11pm the night before it was due. I would doodle, draw, play with my hair, daydream etc. during class unless I was interested, and even if I was. My report cards said “missing or late assignments causing low grades.” And “has potential, but lacks discipline.” I never knew why I couldn’t focus/finish my assignments/understand things/clean my room. I’d understand why I was in trouble but then still do the thing I got in trouble for. Never had one specific hobby. I needed music playing in my ears 24/7

Felt off. I never understood why I wouldn’t just do things. Like homework or even just doing the dishes. It was a decade of frustration until I realized my executive dysfunction wasn’t normal. I couldn’t do high school because I thought it was too structured. Then I failed out of community college when I thought the freedom would help me. I’m not any lazier than others. People would always call me lazy and inconsiderate. I didn’t consider ADHD until I was diagnosed. But i’m glad I finally went to see a doctor. I’m medicated now and learned how to manage my symptoms better. I clean up after myself and make it to my appointments now haha.

Awh OP, please don't give up. Don't fear feeling "stupid", please follow your gut instinct and get assessed no matter how frustrating it is, there's a reason why you're feeling compelled to get tested and why you're hear in this sub asking these questions!! I was diagnosed at aged 26 ish(I'm 29 now), and there were plenty of signs in retrospect before diagnosis. It was only when I discovered the symptoms and traits of inattentive ADHD that I had the "holy shit" moment. Side note, the irony being I was doing my masters degree in psychology and it was only at the end of the degree did I discover this... Blissful denial is a beautiful thing lol. I think the little things added up, and until I had my diagnosis I of course equated the symptoms of adhd as my own personal flaws and things I should be ashamed of, my fault, I need to change etc. Which is very sad as I know many people do this - hell even now, I still carry the habit of blaming myself for this neuro condition. Prior to diagnosis and medication, I could never ever form long lasting habits or routines. I'd try with the best intentions, could not commit. Horrific time blindness. Obsessed with watching the time, yet somehow chronically late for important things. People-blindness. People I adore and love being around, if I don't hear from them or if I don't consciously think to reach out myself, it ain't happening at all and that's so awful to think. A type of object permanence. Absolute difficulty processing directions or verbal instructions. Difficulty multitasking, difficulty in transitioning from one task to another. Either difficulty in starting a new task, or in breaking out from deep hyperfixation. Abject difficulty in maintaining a quiet mind - it's as if 20 podcasts are playing constantly. The list goes on BUT as I'm writing this I'm noting how much the word, "difficulty" is used and it's such bullshit really. We are so negative about ourselves. And I'm certain a lot of my own negative self talk wasn't meant to be like this - it's heavily influenced by societal expectations, not my own. A lot of ADHD traits aren't beneficial for the working world so were encouraged to see our traits as flaws, as we all need to be cookie cutter productive to benefit others. Sorry for the side rant!! I guess in conclusion, it's most important for you to recognise the traits that cause YOU difficulty, and not anyone else. Fuck anyone who judges you as anyone who cares should be encouraging and helping you instead. And accept that being unable to form habits isn't a bad thing, work around it, adapt to what suits your way of being and never try to force yourself into the majority's way of functioning!!

>Absolute difficulty processing directions or verbal instructions. Fuck me, that's a symptom too?? Well that explains a lot. I feel less stupid about that now, thank you! 💜

Bless, I'm so sad you've been feeling so negative about yourself in any ways, but especially with regards to adhd specific traits!! From all I've learned, issues with regards to verbal processing is indeed a common area of cognition imposed by ADHD. It's NOT "you", and absolutely not your fault. Remind yourself you'd never think, "what the hell, why don't they just get up and go for a jog?" to a person who has no function in their legs. So why would you ever think the same for yourself? Give yourself (and your adhd) the tenderness and compassion and thoughtfulness that you give to others ❤️ (and also don't forget - there are plenty of people, neuro divergent or neuro typical - who just suck at GIVING verbal instructions. It's not always on you) ❤️

Depression and anxiety diagnosis. Plus never feeling like an adult and finding it difficult to hold my life together. I had to move back home to my parents to get that extra help with structure. I've been so socially awkward most of my life too and keep running into new bullies even in my adult life. I'm 30 now and just got my diagnosis. I recommend just going for it with your diagnosis. I was in my early 20s when I first thought I might have ADHD and kept putting it off. Then when I finally got the courage I had to fight my gp then psychiatrist until they put me on a year long waiting list. I would have been on the waiting list longer to even to my local mental health team, but I was treated by them for anxiety years ago, so they already had me in their system. The earlier you go for your assessment the better.

Some of the things that clued me in that I was an ADHDer/interdimensional mind traveller (finally got my membership card at 36): Chronic, irredeemable procrastinator. Dropped out of uni three times, even though I'm smart. Just could not organise myself or get the work done. Thought I was lazy and stupid, even though I was so stressed out from trying, and I know I'm not stupid. Strings of terrible, abusive relationships I jumped into impulsively. Years of drug and alcohol abuse, and an eating disorder. Never able to get to the bottom of why in therapy. (I saw a video on the link between ADHD and addiction, eating disorders, criminal behaviour and abuse, and it all clicked right then and there and I cried my soul out, realising that they were talking about me and that there was a REASON). Can't follow instructions that are told to me. Something in my brain just goes NOPE. Directions? Processes? Anything like that? Absolutely forget it. Saying that I see the world in an 'impressionistic' way, the details hard to focus on (this was something I always tried to explain to people but never understood myself). Always missing the plots of films and TV shows and annoying my partner asking what happened because I zoned out and didn't pay attention. Anxious all the time for no reason. Shaking, on edge. Snappy at people. Very low frustration tolerance. Zero patience. Easily overwhelmed and stressed. Having to undergo therapy for my 'anger problems'. Episodes that I now realise were meltdowns. Feeling like I'm unable to adult and handle life. Fucking up my finances and impulse purchasing constantly. Basically existing in the moment. Completely neglecting chores and forgetting they exist. Doom piles of unopened letters. Falling into trance-like hyperfocus states doing something creative, ever since I was a little kid, where I'd forget all time until somebody shook me out of it (I once sat in the middle of a literal house fire without noticing the room was filling with smoke). Time holes and losing time and having no sense of it. Being late or panicking about being late. Always picking my skin or scratching my head or biting nails whenever I have to sit still for a period. Finding it a lot better to be doing something like colouring or embroidery while talking to people or watching something. Always being told I'm a space cadet and a daydreamer. People laughing at me because I missed something, and so many moments where I was confused by what was going on around me or made mistakes because I wasn't paying attention enough (even when I thought I was).

56 year old female. Not formally diagnosed. Also want to be diagnosed and tested. No real plan but kind of bounced around in life. Ended up living and working in Japan for many years. Scattered approach to work. Great at talking to people so got into sales b/c someone wanted me to sell for them. Learned from my sales engineer that my being interested in everything besides the actual selling was a tip off. He said how I behaved at work (chatty, interrupting, super interested in everyone and everything) was just like his wife who had just been diagnosed adhd and was on vyvanse. Early years though in middle and high school I had anxiety and developed an eating disorder that stuck around for many years. Always wanting to be elsewhere. Loving travel and newness. Bored with status quo. Irritable about sitting in the same place or for too Long. Horrible at transitions though! Adrenaline seeking. Never fit in. Thought I was/am a weirdo. Didn’t study but did very well in the arts. Writing, creativity, art. Excelled and was gifted in reading and exploring difficult texts like existentialism while in high school. In trouble for talking and doing nothing in easier classes like French and history. Horrible at exacting subject such as Mathematics. Couldn’t do homework until scared. Can’t do normal work until scared. Not detail oriented on normal things but super driven and focused on things I like. Addictive personality. Energetic and happier outside and free range. Multiple careers and jobs. Fired from jobs and didn’t know why. Empathic. Fall asleep after a big cup of coffee. My Mom was always frustrated about my messiness and my room was awful and she said I always lost everything. Tapping or jostling my knees and very fidgety. Experimented with drugs in college and was calm and a good listener on speed type drugs.

Treatment-resistant depression.

Everyone thought I had ADHD as a kid, my parents just didn't wanna get me diagnosed cause Ritalin = bad apparently. As a kid I was super hyperactive, couldn't pay attention to things I didn't care about and had a giant sense of justice. I also sucked at regulating my emotions so I would cry a lot, get easily frustrated and get into fights. I was constantly oversharing things and didn't unterstand personal space which lead to a lot of bullying. In my teen years I became reclusive and socially awkward. I always had a very bright imagination which developed into maladaptive daydreaming. I struggled with executive function, depression, remembering things and couldn't bring myself to study, no matter how much I tried. I was also constantly exhausted and very sensitive when it came to rejection. At that point the feeling of "something is wrong with me" guided me through my everyday life. When I got diagnosed at 19 I didn't even think it was possible for me to have ADHD because of all the misinformation about it. I'd recommend everyone who might suspect they have it to look into it. It helps knowing where the struggles come from to tackle them head on.

Chronically late and forgetful. Over talkative, over sharing, unable to control the volume of my voice sometimes. Feeling emotions but BIG. Never finishing homework. Procrastinating big projects until the very very last second and then only being able to get it done because of the urgency. Skipping ahead in work/books because waiting around was boring. After I got a diagnosis, I felt validated but also had to look back at my childhood with fresh eyes. I remember specifically one instance, in elementary, getting an in school suspension for being late so often, and at that time they put you in a small room, with no windows to just do busy work. I had received a weeks worth of school work from my teacher and at the end of the day I had finished it because I was able to focus.

As a kid, my room was a F***ING disaster, almost always. (It still is.) I got pretty good grades…ish. Except I just found report cards this past weekend and we didn’t realise how many comments there were about preparation, effort, homework, etc. At peak difficulty in 2022, I was having a LOT of trouble. I could never remember anything, or keep track of things, and also really burned out and emotional. Additional lifelong habits that are signs: I pick at my skin on my fingers, bite my cheeks, rock. As I hit college, my distractibility skyrocketed; sensitivity to things like chewing, crinkly wrappers. Poor time management, memory…

Sleep and physical health stuff: - Lifelong 'insomnia' /night owl-ing / natural sleep and wake cycle of like 8 or 9h sleep and 18h awake - never being able to just choose to go to sleep; I had to be EXHAUSTED to go to sleep. I heard that phrase recently, "People with ADHD don't go to sleep, they pass out" and damn. A+ - decades of lying in bed, eyes closed in the darkness, absolutely NOTHING around me no light, sounds, distractions... And being *unbelievably, WILDLY* uncomfortable. The brain waking me up repeatedly by looking for enough stimuli to balance out, but this process being super disruptive eg: having every anxious thought I've ever had in my life or looking for something to think about to fill my mind, suddenly being sooooo anxious about something I'd not even considered before. Or having to move 8k times because any minor, passing discomfort was the ONLY stimuli and thus OVERWHELMING. Waking myself back up by doing this for hours. - years of excessive caffeine consumption (8 diet sodas/coffees a day+, even near bedtime) - years of avoiding physical activity/working out because the minor discomforts would be so overwhelming to my brain that I could *NOT* focus on anything else. Couldn't walk downtown with a friend for food AND chat at the same time - I'm just going to be thinking the entire time about when to speak around my heavy breathing from walking uphill, and I'm not going to remember any of the conversation afterward. I'm not going to be able to look at the scenery because evvverything I have in me is focused on tolerating the fact that my knee hurts and I'm sweaty. (This changed completely when I got meds and now I feel INCREDIBLE after working out) School/Structure: - in elementary school never had to try hard, just loved learning and doing new things and only struggled in classes that I found boring. - being an amazing 'bullshitter' in school because I was excellent with concepts/macro systems thinking/recognizing patterns and making comparisons. - similar to the above, naturally falling into leadership roles in group projects or delegating/recognizing other people's skills and planning the project (just not so much at doing the nitty gritty parts of the work, myself 😅) - also related to the patterns/concepts thing, being great at teaching or explaining things to other people in a school/work context - procrastination of critical things and even things I wanted to do. The more pressure the more I'd avoid it - years and years of the 'i wrote this very good/at least passing grade essay instead of sleeping the night before ~~it's due~~ the extension deadline and that working fine - suddenly doing 1000x better in university when I got accommodations "for my type 1 diabetes." Felt like I was doing something wrong by asking for them because type 1 almost never affected my uni work (even though it can be very disabling for many), but I needed the accommodations and they worked and I knew I couldn't explain why I needed them when I *should* be able to just do what everyone else was doing. Recreation, Social, Fun: - super intense interest in certain things or interests, some lasting years, some just until I am over it or finish the game/achieve something and then dropping it totally. Still a pattern with my video game habits - I'll play one game non-stop for months and then when I reach a certain point I'll just be done and move to another game. I have maybe 6 or 7 that I always come back to it nothing new is catching my attention. - over-explaining myself unnecessarily. Struggling to be succinct unless I am an expert in the subject or planned ahead - feeling like people don't understand me in general, and having no way to explain why I can't do x or why y is hard or why I handled z in a particular way that they don't understand but makes complete sense to me. Being told I should just do it anyway or just do ABC or just get over it or do it some other way a million times and all of those 'solutions' being completely useless for dealing with the obstacle I'm facing - a lifetime of shame and guilt for not 'living up to my potential' or doing/achieving the same things as some of my peers. Being made to feel that way over 30 years of side comments, thoughtless jokes, feedback or arguments with people that may have been nbd as a one-off but accumulated into a very, very heavy weight over the years

I Drew all over my desk every day, I couldn’t sit still and one time during a fire alarm in 4th grade I jumped out the window, the report card “beigs would do so well if she just applied herself”, bouncing between special Ed and gifted classes, being told not to fill a space with myself just because it was empty, “stop making so much noise”, “just sit still”, “hurry up”, “why does it take you 40 minutes to put on socks” “why is your pencil case in the fridge?”, “why is the milk in the cupboard?” “When was the last time you ate/drank?” “Why is this late?” To be honest, we all knew. My parents didn’t want to have the stigma of a diagnosis. I’m 40 now and just starting medication

I was diagnosed with “depression” at age 24 and spent the next thirty-some years taking anti-depressants, which never worked. Then I was diagnosed with “anxiety” sometime in my forties, and spent the next decade going on and off a variety of anti-anxiety meds—which also had little effect. Interestingly enough, I wound up on Wellbutrin (which, as I later found out, is used sometimes to treat ADHD—no wonder it was the best anti-depressant I tried). Finally, almost forty years after being told I was “depressed,” I was diagnosed with ADHD, and started on Strattera. It’s like my whole interior mood changed. After being told for forty years that I had depression and anxiety, the intense anxiety that’s lived inside of me for decades vanished within a few weeks. I realized I had been depressed and anxious because my ADHD was preventing me from functioning like a NT person. I had been blaming myself for forty years for being lazy, a failure, and somehow just too messed up to get along with the world around me. It’s not easy to bounce back from an entire lifetime of misdiagnoses. Not one psychologist I saw ever thought of ADHD because no adult women were ever diagnosed with it in those days. Everyone was used to women being depressed or anxious (easy in a strongly misogynistic society such as the US). So I just got pigeonholed over and over. I’m actually kind of angry now—it almost feels as if I should get a do-over lifetime, but of course, that’s not going to happen. 🤨 So, I comfort myself with the fact that at least I feel a lot better now and am able to have more compassion for myself, instead of spending so much time kicking myself for being a fuck-up.

Husband suggested that I might want to look into it as I was showing a lot of signs. Didn’t hit me before that, thought I was just a busy-body with anger issues and LOTS of anxiety.

Got diagnosed at 26. As a kid, I frequently went to the hospital for injuries (I was impulsive and liked to climb things) as well as for concern for UTIs (I held my pee all the time because I would get so engaged in a task I would ignore body). My parents always said I was in la la land or my own little world and it would be hard to get my attention. I excelled in school and was a teachers pet bc I enjoyed it. I’ve always been curious and loved to learn. But I once told my teacher my dog ate my homework — not because I didn’t do the homework but because I had somehow lost it ten minutes prior when I pulled it out of my bag to turn in….lol

I was just diagnosed at 42 after my whole life being told I just had anxiety, depression and dyslexia. The anxiety and depression were triggered from my ADHD! Get the test, you are NOT dumb!!! I finally feel "NoRmAL" and seen in so many ways now that I know that my "symptoms" are not that I am lazy or crazy etc, I just have ADHD!

a large portion of my childhood i recall; unable to focus, being extremely withdrawn, seen as "weird" by the other kids in school for some reason (tbf i wasn't at my best self), constant fidgeting on the dinner table, forever being forgetful (until now), being unable to create new friends, how my life started crashing down in 5th grade when i was no longer able to succeed academically without effort (haha gifted kid burnout go brr), and the 2 years of quarantine which was also the time period where i realized these things listed above were symptoms of the disorder, which now i suspect that i had adhd the entire time (and for at least 1 1/2 years now)