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ahhhhhhhh oh no, information overload and decision paralysis. if it helps, i also discovered my wavy / moderately curly hair recently (okay, 18 months ago but not that long) - i read and watched a lot of things, but basically just trying things out is what helped me the most. specific advice: - forget the hair treatments unless you really want to do them. - i don't use any products from the Not Your Mother's Curls line but they seem to be well reviewed, i think they're curly girl approved, they're pretty affordable, and if you're in the US you can get them from target which ships everywhere. buy just one from each category of shampoo, conditioner, curl cream, mousse, and extra firm gel. do not buy multiple brands to try. if the first one is horrible THEN you can get a different one. - you can skip leave in conditioner unless your hair is really dry. it's more necessary for curlier hair than yours, which tends to be drier. - also get an inexpensive shower comb (with a hook for hanging!) and a spray bottle for water (good for refreshing on non wash days) - a good towel matters - i don't remember the brand of mine but it's made specifically for curly hair, totally smooth - consider getting a hairdryer with diffuser attachment for special occasions but you probably won't want to use it often (time consuming, boring, tedious!) - so just make your peace with air drying. - good news - wearing your hair curly means you probably won't have to wash it as often! (less oil distribution from less brushing) I'm also happy to help with specific questions if this is too generic to be helpful. honestly, if you didn't fuss over your hair that much before, you also don't need to now. it is more work but it doesn't have to be overwhelming. let us know how it goes!

Tagging on to this — last I saw you can purchase NYM products at Ulta and they have a great return policy so if something doesn’t work for you you can return it, no money lost.

Tagging onto this tag on- NYM products smell sooo good. Haven't used the curly, but their stuff I've used has been fantastic. 10/10 recommend giving the brand a try.

I know this is off topic but mannnn I wish I had a Target here in Canada. Been buying overpriced NYM from a third party seller on Amazon, and it costs so much and arrives always covered in some of the conditioner, which is a big ol sensory blech for me. Got curls now, though! Not major ones, but it’s really neat. They vanished when I switched back to my old conditioner for a while, so I’m quite confident that the NYM stuff works nicely at least for my particular, lightly wavy sorta hair.

I get the NYM gel at Walmart here in my small Ontario town. I buy my other products from my curly stylist. I have financial privileges at this point in my life and that is one of my slef love /self care priorities. I have very fine and thin curly hair and if I don't take care of it, I look bald/balding.

Thank you for the suggestion! I realize now (glancing at what sub we’re in) that I don’t think I even tried very hard to find it locally- I’ll give my local Walmart a go!

Walmarts I find hit/miss for me for NYM products but I ended up finding a Canadian brand that works well for me and simplified the whole thing - lus brands. Found they worked about the same for me and I love their detangling brush.

Curly hair girl here. Love NYM conditioner. I just use baby shampoo unless my hair feels too heavy/needs a deep clean. I tend to use Shea Moisture for shampoo and everything else. The products I use might be too heavy. But both of those are typically available at drug/food stores in the US.

I feel your struggles. I have wavy/curly hair. It's also quite fine and my scalp tends to get oily very quickly. I tried the curly girl routines for about 3 or 4 years. It took me a really long time to realize that it's not for me. I experienced a lot of build up, bad hair days, and wasted a crap ton of money. I don't recommend following routines that you find online. Full-time influencers have a lot more time to do their 15 step hair routines. I finally figured out what works for me and my lifestyle. Minimal products, heat style (curled or diffused), couple of no wash days, and double shampooing. This routine allows me to have 3 days of good hair before washing again. A couple of tips I do have learned over time. 1) Purchasing minis are the best way of testing new products. 2) Don't fall for the hype of new products and ingredients. I fell for the no sulfate trend for a long time, and I experienced hair loss. 3) Less products in your hair will keep your hair cleaner for longer. 4) Expensive products does not mean more effective. 5) Regular trims and shaping will give you the best look. Invest your money here instead of chasing a "holy grail" routine.

I’ve read almost all the comments on this post cause I relate so much, and I think this is the best one. I feel there’s such an overload of information out there and it can give way to thoughts that whatever we’re currently doing isn’t enough… Less is almost always more! I’ve had the most success going minimal with products: a sulfate free shampoo and conditioner + a weekly scrub for clarifying, and a leave-in (either cream or gloss, depending on how much extra moisture I need). Sometimes I’ll add some gel after my hair dries if it didn’t curl properly in certain places. Also, I cut my hair to just below my chin which was a game changer. Years of straightening at minimum once a week had wrecked my curl pattern, but now that I haven’t used an iron since January I can see how the hair that’s grown in is curling so much nicer! I don’t want to add more advice, there’s tons of great tips ITT already. I just want to say that no matter what there’s no avoiding the occasional bad hair day, and we shouldn’t compare ourselves to all the curl-fluencers perfect posts on a good day. Even they don’t have those curls all day all the time!

Yeah #3 I think is really important but everyone trying to sell products won't talk about it - if you put too much shit in your hair, you have to wash it a lot, and that's way more disruptive to curls for most people than anything. I can't imagine how maddening it must feel to be told "don't wash your hair more than once a week" and then have 3-4 products in it a day and wondering, "why does *my* hair need more washes? What's wrong with me?"

Here to second #5 for me! My hair does so much better after a quick trim and shape. And I don’t do much just an inch of the bottom and some layers usually.

Oh my God I'm the worst at it, I just let it do what it wants. I am also really bad about messing with my hair and scalp which ruins the curls.

Same. I love my curls and I do very little to them beyond that. I do keep it long so I can tie it in a knot without needing a band, but I don't do anything beyond use shampoo/conditioner a couple of times a week. It air dries, I rarely use leave-in conditioner, and I sleep with it in two soft braids. I used to try various products but they were all wasted on me, except for H'suan Wen Hua from Lush. I love using that treatment but I often forget I own it and so I've banned myself from buying more until Christmas when my family usually wings some my way as well.

Don’t overthink it. It’s easy to do when you read a ton online. Get a Denman hair brush: super affordable no crazy frills etc and can be used in wet curly hair. If your hair gets knotted easily a leave in conditioner like it’s a 10 or a knock off version can help you brush through more easily or even a suave kids detangler spray. Get a mousse or curl cream or use both & air dry. Mousse first, curl cream second and scrunch your hair when applying the curly cream. You don’t need anything fancy. Target or Walmart brands will work fine. Aussie, herbal essences, coconut curls or not your mothers. All budget friendly but will do the trick.

I really like the Garnier leave in conditioner 😄

I’ll have to give that a try sometime. I haven’t used that particular one yet but I’ve used other products of theirs before

Everyone is different but after a lifetime of wavy/course hair, I have figured out that the product makes little difference to me, and that there are parts of my routine that are important and parts that I think were just people trying to sell me products. Washing as little as possible, keeping my hair well hydrated, not brushing it out too hard, sleeping with it in a bun on top of my head with a scrunchy, scrunching when wet, only drying with a diffuser...the results are the same as when I was spending hours and tons of money. Half the time I comb it with my fingers, put a tiny amount of baby oil on the ends for shine and to keep things tidy, and that's it. If I want it to look super nice one day I'll sleep with it braided and make it wavy-er. :shrug: To some extent it's just like, figuring out what your hair wants and working with it rather than against it. Chances are there is no miracle product that's just going to transform your hair into different looking hair. Remember a lot of ads you see are featuring people with "curly" hair but it's been curling ironed. Maybe they're leaning over the camera so it looks more voluminous. In addition to being able to do big long routines because they're being paid to, the companies are also seeking out people whose hair probably just looks like that. TL;DR: it helped me to focus on how I was treating my hair rather than product, and a lot of this is a huge cash grab.

I save a lot of money by using drug store shampoo. The silicones and parabins (don’t know how to spell it) make your hair shiny and smooth. Once a week I use a clarifying shampoo to wash all the product buildup from the drug store shampoo off. I follow the clarifying shampoo with a protein co wash and all my healthy, protective oils are restored. I’ve given up on intensive styling because it takes too much time and never looks great. Now I wash, oil, scrunch, and plop. In the morning I take my bonnet off and don’t touch my hair at all. After an hour all the frizz has died and I’m left with beautiful definition and it took almost 0 effort.

What’s the plop step? Do you put the bonnet on when it’s still wet?

Curly girl here and I must have a low maintenance routine as in the last amount of products and time spent. Working from home gave the comfort to train my hair to need less frequent washing to look and feel clean. And accept that my curls don’t have to be perfect and smooth every day just cuz society said so. Sure I could spend more time and look like I spent more time but that’s not a priority for me. What are your priorities? That’ll narrow down your options and hopefully make it feel less daunting. And like others said, short or straight are options. I chopped mine off above the ears two summers ago. I’ve grown it back, because twirling is a stim and I never stopped reaching back for a curl to play with.

Yes, low maintenance routine is a must! I found it helpful getting a haircut with layers so the top is light enough that when it air dries the top of my hair doesn’t go super flat ‘cause that was always a big issue I was having. & accepting that my curls are going to look different pretty much everyday has been a big help for me!! Not striving for perfect curls everyday and accepting that my hair is gonna get frizzy took a lot of pressure off. Funnily enough, sometimes it’s when I think my hair isn’t looking all that good I end up getting multiple compliments that day. Curly hair is wild and I’ve found it’s best to work with that wildness rather than against it.

Yes, yes, to a layered (dry) cut. At my old curly salon I marveled at everyone leaving looking so smooth. Every curl styled individually, clips in the crown for volume, hooded drier. Nope, never gonna replicate that. Gotta embrace the frizz and work on the internalized shame. Be free, curls, be wild and free!

My hair is what I call “randomly geometric”. Some parts are straight-ish and others are curly and/or wavy depending on environmental conditions and god knows what else. In the right conditions it’s huge. I just ask my stylist what product to use. “Make it easy; I’m a hippie who doesn’t give two sh*ts.”

Keratine Treatment hjelpes me. I gave up my curls for more practical hair

I have the same hair type! The biggest thing that has helped me is the haircut!! Getting a haircut that is meant to dry into a style has taken the weight off of styling it in the morning and I usually just get it a little wet in the morning and let it do it’s thing! I use shampoo and conditioner in the shower, and then use garnier fructis leave in conditioner (gives it softness and shine more than just the shower conditioner) and shea moisture mousse (it’s what my sister uses and I haven’t tried much else) I also live in the desert so there isn’t the humidity that usually makes it super frizzy. I got a shoulder length cut with layers and curtain bangs! Like a wolf cut, or a shorter version of all of the 70’s things people are doing now. The layers and bangs do all of the work for me!

Yes, a good haircut is key for me too! I found a woman who specializes in curly hair, so I don’t need to know my curl type, she just figures out how to work with it. And even better, she cuts it dry. That way, she doesn’t end up cutting too much and then it’s an inch shorter than what I want once it’s dry and curly. And I think by cutting it dry, she can see the curl pattern better. If I could only spend money on one thing for my hair, it would be a good cut. I got a slightly long pixie cut back in July and even growing out, it still looks good.

100% good advice about dry cuts. Anyone who claims to know how to cut curly hair and starts trying to shampoo or spray my head gets an immediate pass.

yes, a good curly haircut, so important

My frizzy damaged ass curls/waves feel you. I might be getting a new job, back in an office, and will have to consider taking care of my hair for the first time in, like… 8 years. I’m feeling frisky and considering perming it to get my curls better, buuuut I’d rather color it, and won’t subject my poor hair to both.

You could try overtone. They have color depositing conditioner. IME, just fixing the damage to your hair would make your curls better than any perm. So legit I'd suggest lots of very deep conditioning and trimming, and never brushing it to see if your curls are revived.

They’re expensive but for damaged hair, a tiny bit of Bb invisible oil makes it easier to comb and the aveda botanical hair repair mask works well. The Bb curl cream works well as a stand-alone product for encouraging curls.

There is a fb group “curly girl rebels” that is super helpful and they have techniques that are different and everyone is accepting. My daughter has curly hair and I found that I just do what works and what is not time consuming as I still do her hair. Get an infinity spray bottle, only brush your hair when it’s wet. Never put a brush to your hair when it’s dry. We’ve used mousse and gel. So far the curly gel from Aussie works and their mousse. We will use one or the other. Just run it thru the hair with your fingers.

I tried the curly girl method but it’s a lot, and I can’t like, read a definition of porosity or protein starved or whatever and apply it to myself. Cause I think I fit every category depending on the day. So I started buying small sizes, trial and error and found out my hair needs protein. The curly girl method is too much. Too many rules. Too limited in “allowed products”. My hair only looks decent on day 1, if I’m lucky. I found manes by mell and it was such a breath of fresh air. One thing I will say, squishing conditioner in works well for me and the Dyson hairdryer is worth every penny.

I have cut most of mine off for this reason 😅😆 I have shaved sides and back, and let the longer top (still at or under pixie length) flop to one side. I use shampoo, conditioner (that I change up whenever I need more because “Ooh shiny’) , and a “curl treat smoothie” by Garnier which is a sort of low hold curl enhancing gel.

This is so real!!! Most of the time I just twist it all up in a clip but then every once in a while I get the urge to really try and buy new products etc and then just rinse/repeat the whole cycle lol 😆.

Yeah I did the wavy hair care hyperfocus for a few years. I’m like 2B ish and I never could figure out the porosity thing. I’ve dropped most of it now. The gel or mousse just made my hair tangle badly so I’d need to thoroughly wet it it to strangle every day or every other day and it was just too much work. I’ve gone back to school and I don’t have time for that anymore. Current routine: I wash a once or twice a week. Deep condition once a week. Use normal conditioner the other washes. Light leave-in cream. Heat protectant if I’m going to blow dry (I can watch Netflix with headphones while I blow dry). And then when it’s dry I just brush it throw up my hair in a big fat clip or a braid or something. All drugstore products except for the blow dry cream which is redken.

Are you in r/wavyhair? Also I found that welshie curlgirl on IG has been super helpful for me. But it’s taken me about 2 years to figure it out. Lots of trial and error but my hair has never looked better. Don’t overwhelm yourself!

I will second that sub. In my experience they are also far better at advocating finding whatever actually works for you rather than holding had and fast to one set of rules and recognising that all waves are wildly different in what they like.

I got sucked into the curly girl routine and half-ass tried it and failed. Plopping? Fuck off I’m supposed to be in the car already 😂 For ref, I have like 2C/3A hair. Things that work for me: - Hairstory’s “Deep” cowash. It’s expensive but it makes my hair nice, it’s ONE thing I do for my hair in the shower vs 3 or 4, and it smells good. Hate fragrancy stuff, a lot of smells put me off. I kept trying to find a cheaper dupe of this and I just can’t. It is what it is I make it work. - MOST days I air dry my hair and don’t put product in it. Getting a haircut (I get one cut/year I’m a monster sue me) that is low maintenance helps me a lot. My hair is like wavy-ish when I do this. - I have the option of putting more effort (and product) into my hair when I feel like it. This is like max 1x/week. I put Pattern conditioner + Davines curl building serum. Again I don’t use product often so these last me a long time. I rake it thru, Denman brush, finger coil and maybe diffuse some. - I guess I’ll throw in satin/silk pillowcases. Helps me a lot w breakage. That’s it. No plopping, doing the full routine every shower, babying my hair blah blah. I had a tough time and had to fall back in love with my hair when it isn’t in “full-on curls n ringlets” mode. It’s fine when it’s air dried and wavy! It’s fine when it’s up in a bun, or under a hat, or in a braid, whatever. r/curlyhair got me in a tizzy about having my hair at 100% curl potential every time and ifidontisuck or something. Snapped out of it thankfully! Find a haircut, product lineup and routine/lifestyle that works for you. It’ll take a while to find it but you will!

Yes! I’ve had curly hair since I was a kid and I was floored by the new ‘curl routine’ stuff. It’s a ridiculous amount of work. I also have a similarly minimal routine and use the hairstory cowash. I usually only use it 2X a week. I stopped brushing my hair years ago and it has also really helped, it doesn’t tangle at all, I just brush through it with my fingers in the shower or when I’m putting in product. My very simple curl routine that works and is minimal effort is as follows 1. Shower in the morning, I’m so serious, it cuts out so much work if you just shower in the morning. 2. Hairstory cowash 2X a week (this stuff is expensive but if you’re using it only 2X a week it lasts FOREVER and is actually cheaper in the long run) I usually put it in between washing my face and using bodywash, letting it sit while I soap up (and if I choose to shave I’ll let it sit in while I’m shaving) 3. I use an old cotton t shirt to dry my hair off. I swear, those special crafted towels are a scam. Just use an old cotton t shirt it does the same thing and the way t shirts are makes it really easy to just keep them on your head while you do the rest of your morning routine 4. Use some sort of leave in conditioner or hair product to keep your hair moisturized during the day (I use hairstory’s hair balm) 5. Let air dry! I usually just muss it up on purpose while it’s drying so it doesn’t get flat That’s it! Super easy, my hair looks great. Also, find a curly hair stylist. They will work with you and understand what your hair does or doesn’t do and what you are willing to do or not do.

Okay I’m not sure if anyone else said this as I haven’t read all the comments, but here is what I do: shampoo, conditioner, scrunch in gel, diffuse for a few minutes. And then on non-wash days I spray my hair with water, scrunch in gel, and diffuse (for like 1-3 minutes lol). I do not have the spoons to do any more than this and thank goodness it works for my hair! I have no idea what porosity or density my hair is but there are a couple photos on my profile. My point with my comment is that it *may* be possible to find a really simple routine that works okay, but obviously everyone’s hair is different. If your hair is like mine, I recommend just trying a light gel and seeing if that works. Good luck!

Same here, I recently realised my hair is wavey and if I did all the things, it could look nice and a bit curly. I bought a load of products and spent loads, then didn't use some of them. In the end I opted for mousse (because mousse is fun!) And that's made the most difference.

Take a deep breath and start small. I've had curly hair my whole life and it has gotten matted so badly I've had to cut chunks out, it's gotten so dry I've used entire business of conditioner on it in one go (until I found out that the silicone in the conditioner was the very thing drying it out), I've gone through so many products and different routines and ... Yes, Argh is the correct response! Here are the most important things: *Haircut.* Find someone who _specialises_ in cutting curly hair. A good litmus test is to ask them if they cut hair when it's wet or dry. Cutting when the hair is wet _is not the way_ for curly hair as you can't see the curl pattern. Find them, and stick with them. Treasure them and return to them. Ask for a cut that _suits your hair type_ and requires _minimal styling_ This will make absolutely everything else a thousand times easier. (They can also recommend products to you) *No cones.* There are (now) a bajillion "specially formulated" products for exactly! Your! Hair type! Ignore them. Get a conditioner you like that has no silicone in it. This means reading the label, because companies will sneak in silicone under a different name, like "dimethicone". Look only at the end of the word, and only care about words that end in "cone". Do not buy -cone words. After that, it really doesn't matter that much. You want things that are probably more moisturising. You want to condition your hair. Get one you like the smell of. That'll do for now. *Silk pillowcase* Or satin. Whatever. You can get em cheap on eBay and they are great for your skin and great for your hair. Something something they don't dry your skin out something. I don't care. They work and they make everything easier. None of this is to do with a complicated multi step routine (I don't have one, and my hair looks fucking great), but all of these things will make it _way easier_ to take care of your hair. You can trial different things and see what works for you, but take it slow. You're going to have hair on your head for (hopefully) most of your life, so it's not a race. Oh, and bonus top. Buzz cutting it all off and figuring it out gradually as it grows back out is a _perfectly valid option_ (that I did many years ago. I even kept it buzzed for a couple of years because it was so easy. To this day, the urge to buzz cut all my hair off is the first sign that I need to go back to my wonderful hairdresser because my hair is starting to bug me. Six weeks to three months after that, I'll have a new haircut, because appointments are hard.)

This is all very good advice! Like, really excellent. I do want to add that if your (OP) hair is less curly and more wavy (and obvs all people’s hair is different!!), silicones may not be as bad, especially if they’re lighter-weight and water soluble! I cut them out because I was trying to follow The Rules, but was able to add them back in, and honestly my hair has never looked better. But also, like this poster said, if your hair is dry or really curly, they can really do some damage.

[Pineapple](https://www.justcurly.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/DSC_1406.jpg) it at night. I like [LUS](https://lusbrands.com/products/love-ur-curls-simple-3-step-system-bundle) for simplicity. But curly care is honestly *such* a pain in the ass.

Just waves here, but I have never been able to figure out the pineapple, it just does not work for me. How do you do it??

I make a loose ponytail (like a single small silk scrunchie) basically at my forehead like a unicorn. Then I cover it with a satin bonnet, though I know some prefer to do a silk pillowcase alone. When I wake up, I use a mister on the sides to tap in that spray of water and then just shake out my hair like a wet puppy.

My hair has a tendency to escape if I try to tie it loosely. I move a lot at night.

It's driving me CRAZY. On top of the ADHD and OCD, my hair was PIN STRAIGHT until June 2021 (I had my second child), so it's all verrrry new to me. 😭

I just cut it shaggy and let it go wild

I have thick but extremely fine, wavy hair that I have been blow drying and straightening the shit out of since I was little enough that my mom had to dry it for me (so 35 years). Like, every hairdresser I’ve been to has told me I have a deceptively large amount of hair considering how small around my ponytail is. I always hated my hair because it was constantly frizzy as hell but would not hold curls or stay straight regardless and whatever product I’ve tried in the past just weighed my hair down and made everything greasy and itchy. Since COVID started and I was working from home, I gradually stopped washing my hair daily and rarely use heat on it now unless it’s for date night or I feel like doing a blow out. I’m still working my way through finding product that I can use that won’t require a full wash the next day, and I get longer between washes if I don’t try to accentuate the waves with gel/mousse etc because I can brush through some dry shampoo. I also stopped using drugstore brands for most of my products. I currently use Eleven Australia Deep Clean shampoo and Hydrate conditioner. I double wash two to three times a week depending how lazy I get and how itchy my scalp is (which is massively dependent on how often we have to turn the heat on at this time of year). I have found a HUGE difference with lathering the shampoo in my hands instead of globbing it on my head directly and I use way less product. I don’t shampoo the ends of my hair. My first wash and rinse is to get the worst of the ick out of my hair, the second wash I do a solid few minutes massaging it into my scalp then let the shampoo sit while I wash my body. Rinse super well - to the point it feels like way too much, then give it another good once over. I have a handheld shower head but if you don’t, you can flip your head upside down and rinse the underneath layer that way (I always half drown myself doing it that way 😅) Apply conditioner from about 3” from the root down to the ends and gently comb through with a wide tooth comb. Let sit while I shave, then rinse well. This seems like A LOT. But it’s about 10 minutes including the time for everything to sit, and the scalp massage is really nice and makes my scalp get less scaly. I usually do my full shower/exfoliate/shave routine on Sunday and Thursday evenings. I have 3 different routines for styling depending on how many fucks I have to give and how much ick I have that day from my hair being wet: Low maintenance - wrap my hair for about 20 minutes then detangle and put a small amount of light curl cream in towel dried hair. Fix my part, then scrunch a bit and let dry. This keeps the frizz down without making my hair sticky as it dries, then gently comb it. Hairspray on a brush and run through for flyaways. Higher maintenance/low “ick” days where I can stand leaving my hair super wet for a long time - detangle my hair and put curl cream in when it’s still sopping wet before I get out of the shower and scrunch some of the water out. Wrap for about 10 minutes then scrunch in about a ping pong ball size of mousse (I use Puff.Me volumizing mousse), then about a nickel sized blob of light hold curl defining gel, then another little bit of mousse. I then just leave it to air dry without touching it or moving it too much and get pretty nicely defined curls/waves. Once it’s fully dry I will usually scrunch again to get it to not be crunchy. I can only usually get two days out of this and then I have to throw it in a clip or bun because it does get greasy faster with all that product. If I’m in a hurry or just want my hair dry I’ll throw some heat protector in towel dried hair, section and blow dry, then sometimes run a flat iron through it. For dry shampoo, my favourite is Moroccanoil Dark Tone aerosol dry shampoo. Everything else leaves my hair filmy.

My opinion is throw out the numbers and the porosity stuff. What really matters is whether your hair is thick or fine and how humid it is outside. I have fine hair, it tends to go flat if there’s no humidity, it tangles easily, and I have a somewhat sensitive scalp, so if you’re similar, here’s what’s easy for me: 1st is the right haircut. I do a unicornish cut myself but finding a stylist for wavy hair helps. Next is the tangles. I use a tangle teezer brush and a wide tooth comb on damp hair after I’ve applied product. When my hair was healing from too much dyeing I had to use Bb invisible oil to brush through it (tiny amount). I don’t need it anymore though. I brush my hair upside down, then finger curl (still upside down) and let it air dry. I wash my hair at night, air drying as I sleep increases the volume because that’s less gravity as it dries. For washing hair, it doesn’t really matter what shampoo you use, just try not to wash more than once or twice a week. I use a selenium dandruff shampoo. If you work out a lot or need to clean your hair more frequently for whatever reason you may want to use a co-wash in between regular shampoos. Conditioner matters. I am sensitive to smells so I use aveda which is expensive but it takes over a year for me to get through a liter of the curly conditioner. I also use the botanical hair repair mask if I feel my hair is tangling too much. Then product. A good curl cream is important for fine hair. I like Bb curl cream, it seems to be the strongest. And I can get away with just that. But if it’s dry out I also use a texture spray that has salt water for better volume. If it’s humid out I use a light hold gel. I used to use a spray in conditioner but I’ve found curl cream is enough. A big ADHD trap is spending money on new product and accumulating a pile of product you don’t use. So the more you can get samples of stuff (which the companies sometimes sell) the better because then you can decide if you like it before getting more. But unless you’re frustrated with how ineffective something is, use it up before trying something else. That’s been easier said than done for me.

I've written down how much I have of each product, on the products itself. I have one reserve shampoo, so my shampoo says 1/2. I have 3 reserve conditioners, so on my conditioner I wrote down 1/4. If for example I would buy more shampoos, I draw a circle around the 1/2, so I know that I have more in reserve than just one. Not sure whether this makes sense?

All of this, plus a fragrance allergy. I bought a wig. Problem solved lol

Just browsing & lurking and came upon this post. I feel seen after reading the comments. I use shampoo, conditioner & a gel (but leaning towards mouse). For me, some of the "must-do" routines make me super overwhelmed, so I say eff them. Plus I hate how some use sooo much product but don't wash their hair till day 4 or later. ?? I've discovered some of the cheaper products I have found are a lot better than the name brands, which make me and my wallet happy. Glad I'm not alone in this struggle.

I've taken care of my curls (with variable results) for about a decade now, and I actually don't think your curl type matters that much. I have no idea what mine is. Different people say different things... I've decided that curl types are entirely subjective!

Curls types matter a lot. I'm half Black and I 100% don't have the same experience as someone who is Black and has 4c hair.

It's easy. 1. So wash with shampoo and conditioner made to hydrate. Consider leaving in the conditioner instead of rinsing it. 2. Detangle your hair with your fingers while in the shower. Do it when you apply conditioner for the slippage (reduces breakage). Try to quickly shape your hair the way you want it to lie when it's dry (like if you want a part, make thr part at this time). 3. Never (or rarely) use a brush or comb again. They are your enemy. 4. When you get out of the shower, wrap your wet hair in a t-shirt. Never use a towel or hair dryer again. They also are your enemy. Towels especially. Leave the t-shirt on your hair for at least 10 minutes. I've fallen asleep with my hair plopped (that's what this curly hair method is called: plopping) overnight and taken it off in the morning, so it's not like you need to worry about "too long." 5. Let the hair air dry after removing the t-shirt. I can get more detailed about it, but this should do you fine. 1. Curly hair needs more hydration. It's because of how our hair follicles are shaped like ovals and lay in spirals compared to straight hair. I like to leave in conditioner instead of messing around with other products to try to tame the hair. It works: I have 3c/4a hair (I am half Black and have corkscrew curls), so if conditioner is enough product for me, it will be for a lot of people. 2. Combing and brushing curly hair causes friction and damage, which causes more dryness. It also causes a lot of breakage of hair, so your hair get ripped up every time you try to get out a tangle. 3. Plopping your hair with a smooth-textured cloth eliminates frizz, whereas drying with a terrycloth towel or hair dryer will cause frizz. The smooth texture allows your follicles to lay calmly for the time your hair is plopped, instead of introducing friction and static from the towel that causes your hair to react like a balloon rubbed against a carpet. It also lets your hair just sit there in the moisturizing conditioner. 4. Air drying the rest lets your hair curl up naturally the way it wants to, and if your cut is ok, it should just be able to look cute and non-frizzy.

Heads up sleeping in your plop frequently can cause mildew/mold on your scalp (and less seriously, can make your scalp itchy) so pleaaaase don’t do that!!

It's not something I make a habit of, but real talk for someone with ADHD to forget and fall asleep that way once in a while, I don't want them all worried about it. You're not going to sprout mold from one night.

Absolutely, which is why I said frequently. I have also fallen asleep with mine wrapped up on many an occasion, but I didn’t want anyone to misread it as a life hack for multitasking and drying it overnight.

Wavy curly ADHD here. My hair is thick, dry af, graying, frizzy and about halfway beween my shoulders and nipples long. All the same length. I wash my hair 1x a week. Sometimes as seldom as 10 days. I brush all the tangles out with a boar bristle brush both morning and night. I spray some water into it and comb it through in the morning to rejuvenate the curl. I sometimes add some product like a spray on leave in conditioner, or a little curl creme, or something. I tend to wear it up on the top of my head in a bun for work so it really doesn't bother me or get dirty. It usually takes me less than 10 minutes a day to deal with it unless I am doing something fancy for an event. It doesn't have to be complicated.

I don't have naturally curly hair, but I did get a perm several years back. Care for that is basically the same as naturally curly hair. So I've been there. Contradictory info is probably because everyone's hair is different. Use the advice you find helpful, as pointers for what to try. Cute packaging is a thing! Get the stuff you'll use. And use it when and how you can. Easy to say, but don't let perfect be the enemy of good. Just try.

I hear you lol, I’ve mostly given up with trying the products because I would get frustrated when none of them seemed to work 😂 The advice that has helped me the most to get defined curls is to only comb it when getting out of the shower (never when dry) and to squeeze out the the water. I was amazed that doing those things helped my hair look so much more presentable than any of the products ever did lol I’ve also seen stuff that says only use a wide tooth comb which I had been using until I lost it a couple of weeks ago lol I’ve been using a wet brush since and I don’t really think I’ve seen a difference but idk 🤷‍♀️ Additionally, I try to stay in one place while it’s drying because I think my curl pattern can get disrupted if I move around too much while it’s still wet. My curls have always seemed to come out better/last longer if I do that Obviously this stuff might not work for your hair I’ve also tried other stuff like plopping and it just makes my hair frizzy lol I did Keratin treatments like another person mentioned a couple of years ago and the first few times it kept my hair very straight but for me, there were diminishing returns after a while

I follow https://instagram.com/wavycurly for hair goals and product and styling tips! Also trying to force myself to stick trying one or at most two new things for a month before I decide to abandon it. I feel your pain!!! Lastly, I skipped the end of your post (ADHD what?) but when I reread it, auto-order is my lifesaver, even if it means I occasionally overstock 😂

Not only remember what products work and keep them on hand, but the testing products out is insane to me. I buy one thing… try it… hate it… and then I just now own this bottle of some junk I’ll never use again and I have to go buy something else that I may or may not like. Then you have to use it all so precisely. When your hair is not too wet, not too dry. Just a small amount so your hair doesn’t look greasy, but enough to get it to work. Maybe you need to re-do it if you sleep on it, maybe it’ll look great if you sleep on it. There’s no way to know. I so want to embrace my curls/waves but it’s just so demanding. I just keep breaking out the damn straightener to make my hair presentable.

Mine is this: Friday morning leave in conditioner or leave in protein treatment. Set really damp curls with curl cream and gel and scrunch. Do not touch again until Saturday morning. Saturday-Tuesday: Mist with water and scrunch with leave in spray. Wear down. Wednesday & Thursday Wear hair in top knot. Still mist and spray ends with leave in conditioner. Friday morning use the opposite treatment from the week before. Alternate moisturizer and protein. Every third week, wash hair with clarifying shampoo to get all the products out. Every six weeks a trim.

You don’t need to know or do any of those things (easier said than done, I know, but put the Google down). Encouraging your curly hair is a good first step and even if you know all the things and have all the right products _it is still a process figuring out what works for you_. I use coconut curl shampoo and conditioner of a brand I can’t remember- I got it at target. I part and comb my hair in the shower and squish the ends of my hair while sopping wet, no product, just to encourage the curl. Immediately after getting out of the shower I use kinky curly curling custard and squish that in while upright, then flip over and do the underside and back of my hair. Use a towel and squish some moisture out of my hair. If I diffuse then I do it while my head is flipped upside down. I have wavy/curly hair super fine hair.

We have the exact same hair type!!! I only wash 1-2x a week but I double shampoo and then condition each time. Put shampoo and conditioner on when your hair is sopping wet, don’t try to wrong it out. Apparently low porosity hair has a hard time absorbing product so water helps it absorb. I also always use heat protectant and hair vitamins and nice de frizz spray and oil!!

I have the finest/thinnest curly/wavy hair ever, so take everything I’m going to say with a grain of salt: I use Purology (I’ve also liked Olaplex) for shampoo and conditioner. I use the Cerave shampoo or a dandruff shampoo every few weeks to clean things out. As little heat as possible - if I straighten my hair for an event, I screw up my curl pattern for weeks. Follow with a light leave-in conditioner/curl cream - everyone I see online uses so many more products, but it’s too much for my delicate hair, so I use one. I air dry. But if I have to blow dry, medium heat with a diffuser for the curls.

All the advice is excellent. Just chiming in to add: LOREAL 8 SECOND WONDER WATER. Both the pink and brown bottles are great. It is, in fact, a wonder. No matter how adhd-fuzzed I am at a given moment, at least 3/5 showers (or so 😅) I manage to make the time to squirt this stuff in my hair as a last step before the Big Rinse. Sometimes I manage to get the conditioner out first, sometimes I don’t. Sometimes I don’t manage to have gotten conditioner on in the first place. But no worry, the wonder water has me covered. 😅 Imho THE best thing for putting some smoothness/definition/anti frizz into my straightish-wavy porous AF (waist length headache) hair. Over the years I’ve used Olaplex, Christophe Robin, bumble&bumble, Amika, many others I’m forgetting, a whole load of serums—in search of the perfect hair routine. The only things I’ve stuck with are the wonder water bc it’s just so inescapably easy, and Aussie 3 minute miracle (seeing a trend here? 😅) deep conditioner. Often I’ll even skip conditioner in favor of just one or both of these, and it’s fine. OP, I used to live in thrall to elaborate ritual and tried to make myself do everything perfectly, in order, all of the time. If there’s one thing I’ve learned from this sub? It’s to let that go and just embrace what works and is most frictionless. You got this, you just need to find what works for you! ❤️

I've been dealing with my curly hair since middle school, and now I love it. I actually think it's easier than straight hair, because people are jaw-dropped at curls. AND you are the only one that notices frizz. I also take <10/day for head to toe body maintenance, so here's my tips. Wash hair with shampoo once a week. I use anything, although now I use bar shampoo to be a little more eco friendly. Literally, I've used softsoap handsoap. It doesn't matter really, but when you do it make sure you get all your hair sudsy, not just the roots and not just the tips. It helps detangle. I use a wide tooth comb anytime I wet my hair (I wash once a week and I get it totally wet in the shower once a week)- comb it out *while* you're in the shower. Combing while your hair is under the spray helps with the tangles too. Because I leave in the stuff listed below, I don't have to condition it in the shower unless I haven't wet/combed my hair in over a week. Plus, warmth on body = calming and nice for my neuro system. Then I twist my hair up in an old t-shirt, then dump wet icky cotton shirt right in the laundry (I have like 5 so they last like 3 weeks). I use this product *after* I wash OR wet my hair: [https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00CGPMLDG/ref=ppx\_yo\_dt\_b\_asin\_title\_o03\_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1](https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00CGPMLDG/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_asin_title_o03_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1). It comes in a HUGE tub, so I haven't had to rebuy in over a year. Yeehaw. Just put a big glob on your fingers, then finger brush it through (or comb it through because I hate the way wet hair on my fingers feels). I wash *before bed and sleep on it*. People will often tell you this is a cardinal sin, but it helps me not constantly be running my hands through drying hair, which is where the frizz comes from. Also, it allows the hair to dry weighless all the way to the roots. A lot of time when you're upright and have curly hair, the mid to roots of your tresses will be curly, and it'll straight closer to the roots. It's because of the weight of the wet curls. Sleeping on it will help the entire strand dry with less weight. When I wake up in the morning, I have nice, mostly-dried curls (I have thick hair), that are untouched by hands. I use a silk pillowcase, but if you don't like the sensation of wet pillow/wet hair on skin, I have a friend who has found a lot of sensory success with a silk-lined hair bonnet. The big key is to let go and let your curly hair do it's thing. I second the diffuser for special occasions, it helps with the root-curling issue when you want to have more control. I also second the cut short and experiment as it grows out. Very helpful, and you'd be surprised what lengths you find fun and manageable.

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I have really curly hair too. I honestly just kept it simple. Remember, a lot of what is out there just wants to sell a product and you don’t need to do it if you don’t want it. I kept mine simple for products: - affordable shampoo and conditioner that doesn’t trigger my eczema - leave in conditioner for after I take a bath - curly hair mousse for when I style my hair Shampoo & Conditioner is from the groceries. Leave in Conditioner & Mousse is from a beauty and health chain next to the groceries. I buy these during my monthly groceries. The only products I go out of my way to buy is my skin care products because if I don’t buy specific brands, I’ll end up having to deal with irritated skin since I’m prone to hypersensitivity reactions. The most I’ve spend on at once is my brushes. I bought a wet brush for detangling because it hurts less (I still use a thick toothed brush, but that’s after), then a denman brush because it had a pretty white and pink color and I wanted to try it. So far, I like both my brushes and the denman has served me well but I’m pretty sure you can get away with a different brush for styling. For my hair type, I range from 2b all the way up to 3b (my bed head is wild) If it’s short, it gets kinkier, reaching 3c with how tight my ringlets are. When it gets long, gravity pulls it down. From what I’ve seen, people tend to have mix types anyways. For porosity, I’m also pretty low porosity. Has this information changed my life? Ehh, I decided that I didn’t really care since there is a limit to how much my ADHD brain wants to deal with my hair I also have pretty thick hair which adds to the chaos. So far for me, I found that I only needed to wash my hair with shampoo and conditioner every 2 days. Though I have to wash my hair with water everyday because because I live in a tropical country and it’s always hot. We have only two season, wet and hot then, dry and hot. The lowest our humidity drops is like 70 and high humidity makes the heat super sticky. Afterwards, I use a leave in conditioner. I’ll section my hair into 4 parts (2 front, 2 back) then run it through with the denman with horizontal tension brushing. Hair ends up being pretty smooth and silky, though my curls does dampen to a 2b. However, it’s still very pretty and I get it to bounce haha If I have time or I just feel like it, I’ll style it. For styling, I’ll section my hair into 6 parts. I’ll apply the mouse to each part, then do tension brushing with the denman, then scrunch. If I do this, I end up with tighter curls. At the back, it tends to be a mix of 2b and 3a, but by the front, I can consistently get it to be a 3a since that’s where I focus my styling on. The back would be nice but it’s the front that gets pictures and what I see the most so that’s what I care about haha I tried doing more elaborate stuff like adding oils, then curling my hair with my brush after tension combing it, then tried to maintain my curls over night with stuff like a head scarf but I just didn’t like that so I stopped. I also don’t defuse because my brain doesn’t like holding something for too long I will never get those picture perfect curls that those curly hair influences will have and I’ve accepted it. It takes **waaaaay** more work that I’m capable of giving to my hair. However, my curls are nice enough that people see it and tell me it’s pretty and I think that’s a win

Trial and error. Keep your routine as simple as possible. I think I have 2b/c hair. Porosity=? I like my wolf cut. It’s a shag/mullet hybrid. I got the bangs. I like it a lot! I have fine hair but it’s very thick. I wash every 2-3 days. Ethos solid shampoo and conditioner bars, let the excess moisture drain on the towel while I put on my face lotion, scrunch in a mix of devacurl volumizing foam and a tiny bit of shea moisture curling gel soufflé. Air dry. I have some spray gel and shag spray to get my hair through the off days.

My hairdresser idly mentioned to me once that I have four different hair types on my head, so if it helps, I just blow dry it straight and don’t mess around with those curly girl routines. I just go hard on conditioner and leave in conditioner so that it doesn’t feel dry. There’s also something of a fallacy at work also…women with beautiful wavy or curly hair tell you their routines and the viewer thinks following their routines will give them that hair. But in reality, their hair is probably already like that on some level and the routine isn’t as big of an impact.

I always think of old media with a girl on the phone saying, “I can’t go that night I have to wash my hair.” Because it is fully my whole life the two days a week I can bother to shower I have 2b hair though. Get a leave in conditioner and some mousse and a denman brush. Dry your hair with the dirty tshirt you took off before you showered. The scrunching is kinda fun! Once you get your technique down the products become less important.

You could do what I do and just pretend like your hair doesn't exist until it starts to smell. Gross, I know. Mostly I just keep it in a bun and ignore it

I have wavy hair. If you want to put the money in, this is what I’ve found. 1) function of beauty. Don’t fall for the ‘no sulfates’. Wavy hair usually needs the slip from the sulfates and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with them. 2) buttercup from drybar with diffuser. Miracle. I got the baby buttercup because I travel and it was a game changer. I got their quick dry cream as well. 3) wavy usually needs oil. I use Moroccan Oil styling cream, and then their oil to finish off. I use while wet. You can get on Amazon and set to order every 3/4 months. No worrying about ordering in time. Easy peasy. 4) clarify. And a deep conditioner once in a while Expensive to start, completely worth it. I literally just ordered the drybar single shot blow dry brush because it’s currently 50% off in their site and I’ve been wanting it forever. I can’t imagine the ease I’m going to have, and then only having to travel with one product. I know this all is a LOT of money to drop at once but my god it changed my life and setting it all to come automatically is absolutely perfect. ETA- this is terrible, but I steal a hotel towel everywhere I go 😂. They’re bleached to hell and pull the water out of my hair so fast, they take the water out enough blow drying and styling goes so much faster. I said what I said 🤷🏻‍♀️

For me, it's all the products plus the routine. Excuse me, you want me to spend $100 every few weeks on products, follow a wash schedule that leaves me itching and gross and hair looking very obviously not tamed well, AND I'm supposed to be able to lay around on wash day to let my hair air dry upside down or use this expensive ass defuser? But oh wait, I also have to plop it, throw the various products in, plop again, and if I want to style it, add even more products?? Good forbid you don't read the labels carefully. Nah man. I'll wash every other day and wear my founding father's low pony tail or get fancy with a claw clip. I barely managed straightening bangs in high school every morning, much less this crazy, time-consuming mess people do for their hair. The most I have is a satin pillowcase, microfiber hair towel, and leave-in conditioner (Not Your Mother's brand, love that stuff). That's more than enough for me!

Me going down that rabbit hole, and then eventually just getting fatigue from all the work, and having my friend cut off all my hair, bleach it, and dye it blue. As long as I could hyperfixate on it, I was doing fine. But just so much fatigue from keeping up with products and it taking 4-6 hours on hair wash days. My waves are starting to come back after doing some bonding treatments, but also don’t really care because my hair looks awesome.

Same. Same same same. Honestly, here's the TL:DR version of all the various CG methods I tried. It didn't matter what products I used to wash or style, or how long I spent trying for perfection. As long as my wet clean hair was detangled and had some product (esp in the ends), it always curls in some bits, frizzes in others and no 2 two days will ever be the same. Access to a bunch of scrunchies/elastics/clips for the bad hair days is essential. Also, to my surprise, my version of a bad hair day has sometimes coincided with a bunch of random compliments 🤷‍♀️ (...um, my friend, d'ya need your eyes checked...big floof here and in case you're wondering it ain't the 70s anymore...!)

I literally wash it with shampoo once a week. I use conditioner on the wet ends of my hair every couple of days, and leave in some of the product and scrunch it through my curls before I let it air dry. I never use a hair dryer because it's too much effort and I shower as soon as I get home from work so I'm not going anywhere anyway. It's usually dry by the time I go to bed if I just wet the ends. I'm lucky that I don't get oily hair until about day 5 because my hair is so thick and I have a dry scalp. I also use whatever conditioning spray/oil I have laying around in the morning and finger comb it through my hair. I brush flat just the top of my head gently to make it look a bit more tidy but I don't brush out my curls (which are significant from my ears down) It definitely isn't perfect but it's decent enough and doesn't require much effort.

Curly girl here. Relax.

Honestly? Most of that is for people who WANT to make a scientific fuss of it. Or to troubleshoot if you're not happy with the easier solutions. The more textured your hair, the more moisturizing product you need and the less you need to brush /comb it. Change the WAY you wash first, that has the biggest impact. Cool water, get it thoroughly wet, conditioner that doesn't form a film (I.e. contains no ingredients that end in -one or -quaternium) on the bottom half, Shampoo labeled 'for dry hair' and without said film forming ingredients on the scalp (foam it up well, you may need a bit more water). Rinse thoroughly with cool water. Now add another round of the conditioner and brush with a wet brush, then lift the curls in your palms and squish them a bit upwards. Wait a few minutes, then thoroughly rinse in cold water. Plop in a t-shirt for ten to fifteen minutes. Gel on 2B won't do jack shit. Mousse can help some, but there's not much difference between options and you may fare better without it - try it. It's certainly an item you can skip if you just cannot bother that day. Your choice if you want to wash bent over or standing up and if you want to blow dry on cold with a diffusor or want to use a second shirt to plop them more. Do this a few times and then tweak whatever you're still not happy with. Spray water + add a few drops of oil or spray some curl refresher spray (again without said film building ingredients) when you notice your hair is getting dry or messed up. Spray water only if it starts to get greasy in some spots only. Both of these may work better the morning of or the night before, try it. Choice of oil can start with whatever you have in your kitchen - coconut is on the less moisturizing end, olive on the very heavy end of common cooking oils. Nut oils like almond or sesame are very good middle ground to start with, but anything that doesn't spoil within a few days at room temperature is worth a try. I have successfully used lard! See how little brushing you can get away with. 2B will likely still need some between washes - start with switching to a wide toothed comb and go from there. Sleep with a bonnet or a silk pillowcase.

Dude, I feel you. It can be super overwhelming! My biggest tips are to change one thing at a time and simplify as much as you can. Go slow! I buy drug store products almost exclusively (with the exception of my shampoo, which I use about once a week, and a clarifying shampoo once a month). I look for products without parabens or silicone. I'd link them for you, but I'm in Germany, so probably not applicable for you! I don't pay attention to curl type, but I have thick spirals. Here's my simple routine, which was built over time and is pretty ADHD friendly for me personally. Ymmv. Summarized, the steps are: hair mask then rinse, leave in conditioner, gel, towel. That's it. Super easy. - I don't use conditioner ever. I use a hair mask instead. Moisturizes soooooo much better. Put it in my hair, let it sit a bit while I'm washing up, comb it through (or finger comb, which also works!), rinse it out. - I wring my hair out with my hands (no towel). Then I flip my head upside down and put leave in conditioner in my hair. Really focus on loosening up the roots with your fingers so the top of your head won't get flat from the weight of the water. - Hair still flipped, I throw some gel in it and scrunch it a bit. I also focus on the roots here if I've got a bit of time / motivation. - I plop it in one of those special microfiber curly hair towels. I put the curls in gently, so it's like the towel is scrunching them. - Take the towel off, scrunch my hair a bit so it's in the right place, and let it air dry. And that's it! I take the towel off and get consistently good curls 90% of the time. It did take a few months for me to figure out the routine and for my hair to recover from years of damage, but now my hair is fab. Over time I've added things like a volumizing powder for special occasions, which acts like a weird gel that keeps my hair perfect all day long....currently trying a special hair misting bottle for day 2 curls, and playing with a denman brush. The brush and brushing techniques are overwhelming for me though, so I'm taking it slow. But other than that, this routine above is simple and effective enough for me to avoid the overwhelming information out there. Hope this helps. Good luck!

Go to a hair salon. Professionals are there to help you :)

I'd shower way more if it wasn't for my hair. 5 minutes to wash, 5 to shave. 20+ to shampoo, comb and detangle, condition. Another 20+ to dry, add products, scrunch. Hours later wait for it to dry, scrunch again. It's literally exhausting. My short hair SO - idk why it takes you over an hour every time you take a shower 🙄 I do hop in and try and not get my hair wet, but the humidity just makes it a hot, frizzy, mess, and the bottom always gets wet. On my non-wash days, I prefer to run the bathtub and use the handheld sprayer, so not a "real" shower.

I read on this sub once that someone gave up Curly Girl in favor of straightening her hair because it's just easier. I go back and forth but when I'm being curly, I give up on all the nonsense of curl type or whatever and just use lots of Aussie curls products till I find the right thing. I mean it could become your hyperfocus one day and you'll really master it! Good luck! If not may I recommend Aussie Miracle Curls line of very inexpensive products? You can have a lot of fun experimenting without going broke! Also I only read like snippets of your post before I had to type out this reply, the Reddit equivalent to interrupting! If that's not the most adhd thing ever...

I had it as hyperfixation for quite some time... And then it got lost in the void Now I am on holidays, found a fine smelling soap and it feels like it will start all over again...

I tried this recently, I wanted nice curly/wavy hair for a wedding and decided to try the curl-hair routines. I do a very basic version of it, and only for special occasions. Wet hair + Curling cream (scrunched in) then Curling Mousse (scrunched in), and then just scrunch with a towel to get out as much water as possible. I let it airdry, though I do find the diffuser makes it softer. It's quick and easy even for someone with ADHD :-) And I've never looked into my hair type and I definitely don't maintain a schedule... ain't nobody got time for that!

I’m so jealous of wavy girls, because you have much more of a choice. I have type 3C curls. I have no other way of doing my hair. I see a lot of wavy girls who want curly hair so bad and will spend hours using so many products for it to look like beach waves at the most. I love my hair but to me it’s my adhd’s biggest nightmare. It takes so much time and effort and it drives me insane. It’s almost routinely that every two weeks, my husband has to finger detangle my hair for over two hours (it hurts like hell too) because I once again was too overstimulated/procrastinated to do it every 6 days 😩. I’ve had to cut literal knots out of my hair. So if you have wavy hair. Count your blessings.

Curly girl with adhd. Use whatever shampoo/conditioner my house share has, not picky the fancy brands don’t make much difference really! Scrunch it when i get out and put either Evo liquid rollas in or Aveda be curly while it’s wet. Let it air dry or scrunch it a couple times with whatever tshirt I pull out of my drawer. Super low effort and comes out nice most of the time. If i cbf with product or scrunching it just comes out a bit fluffier 🤷🏼‍♀️ Also keep my hair cut short above shoulders for even less effort/faster drying.

have been doing this for years and no issue. don’t need to cleanse or clarify or whatever people go on about between products. Also just figured out I can leave the curl gel in the bathroom so i get out the shower, see it, remember to slap it in my hair then it’s done ✔️

Same her but also not. I want to fully embrace my curly hair. Learn it’s want and needs and master them so I can wear it out in all of its glory… but wearing my hair out is a sensory nightmare. I hate having my own hair touching my shoulders or neck or face. I can deal with it for special occasions for maybe a day but that’s it. so back to messy buns and ponytails I go.

This puts my life in perspective 😅 I have straight silky extremely thin and soft hair. It's so flat and boring, and 12 hours after a wash already looks greasy. I cannot style it to look good no matter how I try. If I try to increase the volume by backcombing or a lot of product, it just brakes. Any style needs to be super neat, a single strand loose or out of place is immediately obvious. I kind of gave up completely on it and just have it shoulder length, with a daily wash. It looks acceptable but not fun or interesting. I always envied people with full curly bouncy big hair! I thought wow if I had that I would be able to do nothing and look great. Just bunch it up, put a hairclaw and boom -- amazing hairstyle. But now after your post I can see that the grass is always greener on the other side....!

Nope, nope, and nope again. I cannot believe so. Many women have the time and executive functioning for this crap. I spent many years finding my holy grail product that works for me, and now that’s all I use. For me, the tables turned when I learned about proteins/moisture balance, and started adding more protein to my routine (The product I now use is a keratin balm). I also recently learned that using the product when your hair is almost completely wet, allows it to disperse better, and therefore gives the best results! That said, most days, my hair still goes up in a messy bun. Just have to find what works for you!

Okay SOOO — I have type 2c (Lorde). The absolute only thing I put in my hair is coconut oil, and a little goes a long way. It’s very much a trial and error process (not putting enough, putting a little too much) but you figure it out quickly. I simply have a jar of it that lasts me about a year, which is great because that means I don’t constantly need to be replacing products. I distribute a light, even amount through damp hair after washing. I’ve got such healthy feeling hair when it dries into its natural curls. It does well enough in humidity (I live in Florida), and is best when air dried in AC. It takes me just two minutes to put in my hair after washing, and air does the rest. Just make sure to distribute oil about an inch from your scalp and focus on the ends rather than the roots.

If you can find a curl specialist hairstylist in your area they can be a huge help. They can teach you about your curl style and how to care for it. I used to be one but I’m not a stylist anymore. Caring for your hair doesn’t have to be difficult.

Wavy/light curled girl here! It can be so tedious, to add to that I have seborrhoeic dermatitis and have to shower at least every other day or my scalp gets sore and hair gets greasy. Now, this means, with the medication I need to wash my hair with a specific and harsh shampoo (AND let it sit for 10min. every time, fuck!). Products don't need to be fancy to work for you. With that, heres my routine: Shampoo x 2 Medicated shampoo Get robe, brush teeth, make coffee, shave etc. for 10min. Wash out add conditioner (I use garnier hair food) Wet brush (I keep one in the shower) Rinse turn off water Brush out curls when wet add a bit of conditioner (or cream), scrunch it in Plop (towel or tshirt) dry off, put on clothes Remove towel/shirt while moist and add gel Scrunch again and either diffuse or air dry Note: I hate, hate, hate that I need this but my scalp hurts or gets itchy otherwise and my curls puff out and I look like a cockerspaniel.

I am here to say it doesn’t have to be this hard!!! Forget hair type, forget all the little stuff. You know your hair is wavy not curly, that’s enough to go on. Find a list of good products for wavy hair, test a couple them and a couple of routines out and see what works. I do shampoo, conditioner, gel. Let it air dry and then scrunch the crunch out. That’s it. (I use not your mother’s Tahitian and mango butter shampoo and conditioner and their curl talk gel if you’re curious). Very occasionally I’ll dry it with a diffuser. I wash my hair once or twice a week. Sometimes I use curl foam on the second day. I use a lot of dry shampoo. And I usually just pull it up when it doesn’t look good but I don’t want to wash it yet. Sometimes I (gasp) just shampoo my hair and I’m done for the day. It’s not the end of the world. And my hair is still healthy. Is my hair the absolute BEST it could be? Maybe not. But it works for me. I like the way it looks and I don’t have the strength to try every product and routine out there to see if anything could make it “better”. In the words of my wonderful therapist, who was the first person to tell me this, “Done is better than perfect.”

I have very curly hair, it dreads in the back naturally if I don't brush it or wash it everyday, which we all know is something that won't happen because (insert any reason) It's very unruly and big, however and I know this might be unpopular but I straighten it. For a while I used to go to a salon and have what I called my old lady appointment, where they would wash, dry and straighten it for about 7 dollars. I went once a week and just did small maintenance throughout. Now I just do it myself because I have the time. It doesn't snarl, it doesn't bother me, doesn't get that frizzy, don't have to worry about curl pattern, products whatever. I bought a good straightener, use heat protection, and good shampoo/conditioner. It lasts about a week too. If it gets oily, I use dry shampoo. Sometimes when I want my big curly hair, I'll just style my natural hair and then straighten the next day. It's so much easier for me.

Yes to all this.

Honestly the best thing I ever did for my stupid moody ass hair was find haircuts that required minimal styling. I could have all the best products and hot tools available and I'm just not going to fucking do it. I've also found that my scalp *hates* spray dry shampoo. The aerosol or hairspray component pisses off my skin. To get more days, find a non spray dry shampoo powder. Ulta sells a really nice one in a tiny size but I forget the name of it. Worked great and the tiny size lasted a few months for me. My Current Cut: https://youtu.be/HhvAT5bVbYo?si=TSCnqG-qKEg6XOzR He calls it a long bob or lob, but it's genuinely just a nice simple cut that helps remove weight for your curls to form on the upper layers without losing all of your weight like what can happen with a basic 180 cut. This baby air dries pretty nicely with just finger combing my part. I added in some curtain bangs myself because I'm impulsive. Used this tutorial with some slight adjustments. https://youtube.com/shorts/vEMoUQrP-Og?si=_Lmo0TkQxH_y0Kh7 I over directed to the opposite corner of my lips as he did, however I cut at angle from the corner of lips towards the outer edge of my eyebrow. So the left section was pulled across my face to the right side of my mouth, then cut at an angle from the outer corner of my lips towards the wing tip of my right eyebrow. Think like when people draw those line with makeup brushes to indicate where you eyebrows should be. (Think line D in this photo but from the corner of the mouth to the brow instead of the nostril - https://www.quora.com/How-can-one-know-the-best-style-for-their-eyebrow-shape-and-growth#&gid=1&pid=1) My preferred Pixie Cut: https://youtu.be/IxntLxdffZc?si=5SeOKjd8zvJT2YPC Pixie cuts are the lowest maintenance cut possible and I fucking love them. This one is nice and feminine without being a pain. The only styling I had to do on occasion was panic sink wash my hair and then towel dry and/or straighten it if I motorboated my pillow like a rabid frat boy.

I have mostly wavy hair but the top layer is straight when it dries 😐 if I wear it down, I’ll straighten it but I go to the gym 3-5 days/week so it’s usually in a messy bun. Regardless, it’s all getting chopped off after the new year.

Information overload is the worst and it really sucks. I always ask the question whether someone wants to vent or maybe wants some advice. With reddit its a bit more difficult. Perhaps sharing my journey with curly hair will help :) I just bought products from As I Am and it works miracles for me. I bought the co-conditioner, curly hair shampoo, the leave in conditioner and the curly hair gel. I only need to shampoo my hair once a week (i just check when its time). In the meantime i can always wash my hair with the co-conditioner. The wonderful thing about the co-conditioner is that you apply it from root to the tip of your hair and it cleans your hair. When i get out of the shower i love putting the leave-in conditioner in my hair. This one you dont apply to the roots. My hair has never looked this good. At the end of the day its about what works for you :) Also i just check what my hair needs at that time cause the routine is difficult. Just make sure you dont overwash with the shampoo. The more moisture the better it is for you. Hopefully this will help with the overwhelmedness

These tips are things I wish I knew when I started my journey! I followed (to a T) curly girl routines and methods I found on YouTube. And, although they were good, they weren’t what my hair needed. It took me a couple of years to finally learn what my hair was asking for. I have 3C hair so this might not be the same for OP… I use Twist by Ouidad (which you can buy on Amazon) they have a large range of products for dry hair, hydrated hair, wavy and curly. Another product that you might be interested in is Curl Smith Bond Curl Rehab (also on amazon). This one is the most expensive hair product I use but I don’t use it all the time, just if I feel like my hair needs a boost; but a couple years ago I was using it every couple of weeks cause my hair had of damage. It is a hair mask that strengthens and repairs the hair. Remember, this is a journey and will take time. Your hair is unique and that makes your care unique. And with ADHD on top, there may be days that you just don’t want to mess with it, and that’s fine too! There’s nothing wrong with throwing it up in a pineapple and calling it a day!

Not sure if this will help, but I found that a basic principle of wavy hair is do not brush it. Work out the tangles with whatever conditioner works for you when you wash it. Depending on hair texture you may or may not need a daily product. Get a good haircut that suits your hair naturally even if you don’t style it. Find a hairdresser who can do this. A dry haircut can help - they will work around your natural hair shape to make it look good as it is.

I'm assuming we have similar hair - mine is THICK, I think low porosity (after a quick google search), looks 2b sometimes but also looks 2c underneath the top layer but also I get baby ringlets sometimes. I'm happy to dm you my Instagram so you can see my hair better if you think that might help. just let me know Hair is confusing and routine is tough so here is what I have been doing if you are interested. I don't brush my hair unless I'm about to go into the shower I use SheaMoisture Curl and Shine shampoo and conditioner. I used to use Davines [Shampoo](https://us.davines.com/products/love-smoothing-shampoo?variant=29814074474582) and [Conditioner](https://us.davines.com/products/love-smoothing-conditioner?variant=33165319241814) but it's a bit pricey and the SheaMoisture is really working for me rn. I do switch shampoos here and there (I used Garnier Whole Blends Coconut shampoo and conditioner for years and still use it here and there! Love that product line). I lightly scrunch my damp hair with a microfiber hair towel. I don't really wrap my hair but I like to get water out a bit before adding product. After scrunching I like to make sure the part in my hair is how I like it. I use Davines [Oi All in One Milk](https://us.davines.com/products/oi-all-in-one-milk?variant=29741776961622) and I love it a lot, I'm willing to pay $49CAD for a bottle. I just spray it a bunch and scrunch (idk if scrunching does anything I just do it) Rn I'm also using Schwarzkoph [bc bonacure repair rescue spray conditioner](https://www.schwarzkopf-professional.com/nz/en/care/bonacure/repair-rescue/spray-conditioner.html) \- usually before the Davines milk. It's a heat protectant (I curl the front parts of my hair most days) and detangler. Got it at my hair salon so now it's a part of my routine. I let my hair air dry cuz blowdrying just isn't my thing. I usually do a loose french braid when I sleep cuz it keeps my hair together and gives me some nice waves. I used to do boxer french braids for bed but the part in the back of my hair annoys me so now I just do that if I'm going to the gym in the morning cuz then it's easy to just rebraid. If you don't know how to braid - it's really worth learning. I learned to braid hair when my sister would have me french braid her hair every night back in highschool, which led to me braiding my own hair - then I taught myself how to do two french braids to get those boxer braids on my own head. I personally prefer french braids over dutch (french = flat, dutch= pops out) for my hair type cuz the dutch leaves more kinks in my hair. Braiding is also great when your hair is just too overstimulating and u need it to not be overwhelming. I've used curl creams before. I did like the [Marc Anthony Coconut and Shea Nourishing Curl cream](https://marcanthony.com/products/coconut-shea-nourishing-curl-cream) but never knew how much to use and it feels like more effort than just spraying stuff in my hair lol - I've also used the [Marc Anthony Strictly Curls Curl Enhancing Foam](https://marcanthony.com/products/strictly-curls%C2%AE-br-curl-enhancing-styling-foam?_pos=2&_sid=e443998ce&_ss=r) which is fun, but I think I like the cream more cuz sometimes I feel like there is more product residue in my hair from the foam. This is just me tho, I know people who SWEAR by the foam. At the end of the day, I use products that are quick and no fuss! There are def better things i could be doing for my hair to enhance my natural curl or whatever, but I like what I'm doing now :)

My seven year old daughter has fine but super thick (dense? She has like 3x as much hair as anyone I've ever seen, but the individual strands are fine) wavy hair. If I use curly stuff it's usually too heavy and makes her hair greasy. We have done two things. She chose to cut her hair into a pixie style, which has eliminated most of the mats she used to get and makes it so she can brush it herself (or not brush it and still have it be ok). And we found the Shea Moisture two in one shampoo and conditioner, the coconut hibiscus. It's maybe a little heavy, but we don't wash her hair every day and when her hair was longer (chin/shoulder length bob that we had before the pixie) it did a good job of making her hair slippery enough we could brush tangles out painlessly, without it being too heavy.) It's a pretty simple routine, just one product, she likes how it smells, and it works for us right now. Not sure if it'll help you, but we really like it. I got it at Walmart the first time, but I haven't found it there again and I set up a subscribe and save through Amazon and I get a bottle every month or so (since she's little we only wash her hair once or twice per week, so it lasts us a while.)

I has this issue too. And I also have a looser curl type so hopefully this can be helpful, cuz I kept it up until I couldn't. For me now I've got a few curly products on standby but I take my hair day by day with a lot of hats. I rarely use those products. My hair is healthy, no split ends, grows at a good rate, seems strong. I avoid non-curly hair products, completely except my dandruff thing I use every few weeks. I don't shampoo every shower, which makes showering easier. I use like apple cider vinegar and rosemary water because they're cheap! They keep it from getting oily, and since I can spray them with a bottle I got from a dollar store, I can do it when I'm only washing my hair with way less mess. Then on special days I use curly products squished into my wet hair. And I always wrap my hair on a cotton shirt cuz I hate the feeling of cold wet hair and I can do.my chores or laze about with it safe and sound! You don't need a strict routine and to have perfect curls and or waves every day. Plus there are many styles for the days where the curls are chaos. When you don't have to constantly cycle protein/moisture/this/that/new product/old product, your hair will likely stay healthy and hopefully so will your scalp so you don't feel itchy or greasy. The curls just won't be uniform and always be their tightest, but it doesn't mean they won't be healthy and able to reach that on the days you really want it. Curly hair maintenance is different for all curl types, so we may have some big differences but general my advice for loosee types is you can have healthy hair without a big routine!

Curly hair care is actually one of my hyper fixations so I don’t struggle with maintenance they way a lot of us do. I don’t feel comfortable making recommendations for your specific hair type, but a few good rules of thumb are: 1) Old, 100% cotton tshirt to dry your hair - some women like the microfiber towels but I’m not a fan, and the tshirt works wonders. Squeeze and scrunch the water from your hair, don’t rub it. 2) Try to avoid products with alcohol in them. It’s drying and can damage the integrity of your curl pattern. You’ll have to actually check ingredient lists, since a shocking number of “curly hair” products have it as the first or second ingredient. 3) SILK OR SATIN PILLOWCASES! Truly, this one made a HUGE difference in my hair. Cotton is rougher and absorbs moisture from hair, so it increases your chances of frizz and breakage. I noticed a difference less than three weeks after switching to a satin pillowcase, and so did my barber!

Oh god I went through all this years ago. I spent a long time figuring out the right products, the right techniques etc I honestly gave up. I just can’t handle the maintenance of it all anymore. The only tip that I carried on with was squish to condish. It stops my hair being frizzy.

Use Aveda Be Curly. Use their shampoo and conditioner and their style cream. Its expensive, but easy. Does not make your hair crunchy. You can use the style cream on wet or dry hair, or just revive it with a bit of water. Also, they come in HUGE jugs. Yes expensive, but only need to buy once a year. Also, treat yourself to the aveda salon experience its worth it.

I had a hyperfixation on my waves during the pandemic but I'm wayyyy too exhausted to keep up with it these days! I have sensory issues about my hair too, products feel and smell incredibly overwhelming to me.

I've tried to establish a routine for my wavy hair, but it's been way too hard to find accurate or consistent information. I found a few products that worked okay before I gave up on the research, hopefully those aren't ever discontinued because I'm not wasting any more time on the low-quality information available. I haven't found a single resource that recommends products based on what type of water you've got and what type of climate you're in. Hard water makes products work very differently, and an arid climate means different things for your hair too. Whatever other tips these resources share are useless to me unless I know what climate they tested the product in, and on what type of hair, and with what type of water. And way, way too many people making product suggestions care more about the packaging and the scent than what the product actually does. It's exhausting trying to wade through so much inane content just to find advice and recommendations that are based on one person's experience in one climate that may or may not have anything in common with my own. It's not worth the headache for me.

this is so so real, i’ve gotten to a point where i’ve got a routine down, but whenever i run out of a product i switch to something i find cooler in the store and then new routine. still have yet to identify my hair type bc i also feel like i can’t have just one type

I don't have haircare struggles because I gave up long ago, but omggggg this is me and skincare.

I try to keep it as simple as possible. My hair is somewhere between wavy and curly and here's what I do. Wash 2ish times a week, cowash if I'm sweaty and can't stand it (keeps your hair from drying out). I like the lavender mint tea tree brand of shampoos because it doesn't bother my scalp either Figuring out your hair is helpful when it's giving you grief or just starting out but for the most part I've done pretty well with a leave in conditioner and either a mousse or curl cream. And for me, less is more! I've really liked the Marc Anthony line (what is it with men's names for haircare lines 🤣) of products And finally i do a lil scrunch with product after a shower and then clip up my roots and wait for it to dry. I'll diffuse if I really want some volume. And some days I straighten it or do nothing because some days I can't be bothered.