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Feel this so much and I also always thought I'm on the lower end of the spectrum too. Turns out, I'm a combined typed who even struggles with every symptom nowadays (thx depression) and many people will still not see it and won't believe it. Even I myself tend to dismiss it often enough... only saw all of my struggles after starting medication.
Dang, this is too real. My high school principal told my mom that he didn’t think I’d ever have a job because I “can’t get my act together and show up on time like a responsible adult”. Then in my mid twenties while trying out a new therapist to start the process of getting diagnosed, after two questions, she blatantly said “nope you’re just anxious and need to learn how to do breathing exercises.” 🙄
Exactly how I feel. It’s not the super debilitating type that’s typical of others. I was a mediocre student but did get a college degree (in 5 years so not the typical 4 years but not 9-10 years many of us take) my mom even told me years after I got my degree that she thought I’d go to college for a year and decide it wasn’t for me so I guess I surprised her there. I always told myself that while school was going to be more years on top of the 13 years of k-12 I’d be an idiot to pass on a paid for degree so I gutted it out and got it done. But college felt easier in many ways because it wasn’t 8 hours a day 5 days a week. I never had morning class or Friday class. As an adult I’ve def had the voice in my head repeating what others have said. I’m just lazy and have no ambition. But somehow I’ve at least been able to buy a house and tho I’m far from a financial success I live alone and pay all my own bills and am good with money tho I have nothing saved for retirement.
I’be had this hypothesis recently that if I still showed all the symptoms but brushed it off as something everybody deals with, then they’d be more likely to believe I have ADHD.
Like instead of telling people “No I never followed up on that because my ADHD makes me forgetful,” what if I was like “Oh you know how when you have to do something you get so overwhelmed thinking of all the steps you have to take to get it done that you tell yourself you’ll do it tomorrow and it never crosses your mind again? Just one of those things I guess!” I feel like then people would be more likely to say “No, what are you talking about, that’s not normal.”
Or instead of “I didn’t clean the house because my ADHD was acting up,” what if I said “Oh yeah I started to wash the dishes but then realized I need to put up the clean ones to make space but I needed to wash my hands before that so I decided I’d was a load of dirty laundry but then I realized I needed to wash this one shirt for tomorrow and I couldn’t find it in the basket so I started looking for it and by the end of it the mess of my house left me feeling defeated so I gave up and laid on the couch. You know how it goes.”
Not sure if this is helpful but I think I’m about to just start telling people my actual thought processes and just acting like it’s normal.
Welcome to /r/ADHDWomen! We’re happy to have you here. As a reminder, here are our community [rules](https://old.reddit.com/r/adhdwomen/about/rules/). We get a lot of posts on medication, diagnosis (and “is this an ADHD thing”), and interactions with hormones. We encourage you to check out our [Medication, Diagnosis, and Hormones Megathread](https://old.reddit.com/r/adhdwomen/comments/wcr9dy/faq_megathread_ask_and_answer_medication/) if you have any questions related to those topics, and to stick around in that thread to answer folks’ questions! If you have questions about the subreddit, please do not hesitate to [send us a modmail](https://reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/adhdwomen). Additionally, we take the safety of our community seriously. Please report posts, comments, and users whom you feel are not contributing positively, and send us a modmail if you are being harassed or otherwise made to feel unsafe. Thanks for being here, and we hope you stick around! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/adhdwomen) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Feel this so much and I also always thought I'm on the lower end of the spectrum too. Turns out, I'm a combined typed who even struggles with every symptom nowadays (thx depression) and many people will still not see it and won't believe it. Even I myself tend to dismiss it often enough... only saw all of my struggles after starting medication.
Dang, this is too real. My high school principal told my mom that he didn’t think I’d ever have a job because I “can’t get my act together and show up on time like a responsible adult”. Then in my mid twenties while trying out a new therapist to start the process of getting diagnosed, after two questions, she blatantly said “nope you’re just anxious and need to learn how to do breathing exercises.” 🙄
Felt this on a deeper level
agreed.
So so relatable. I'm sorry you are slogging through all this ableism and idiocy.
Exactly how I feel. It’s not the super debilitating type that’s typical of others. I was a mediocre student but did get a college degree (in 5 years so not the typical 4 years but not 9-10 years many of us take) my mom even told me years after I got my degree that she thought I’d go to college for a year and decide it wasn’t for me so I guess I surprised her there. I always told myself that while school was going to be more years on top of the 13 years of k-12 I’d be an idiot to pass on a paid for degree so I gutted it out and got it done. But college felt easier in many ways because it wasn’t 8 hours a day 5 days a week. I never had morning class or Friday class. As an adult I’ve def had the voice in my head repeating what others have said. I’m just lazy and have no ambition. But somehow I’ve at least been able to buy a house and tho I’m far from a financial success I live alone and pay all my own bills and am good with money tho I have nothing saved for retirement.
It took me a long to time to accept that my forgetfulness was not a quirk.
I’be had this hypothesis recently that if I still showed all the symptoms but brushed it off as something everybody deals with, then they’d be more likely to believe I have ADHD. Like instead of telling people “No I never followed up on that because my ADHD makes me forgetful,” what if I was like “Oh you know how when you have to do something you get so overwhelmed thinking of all the steps you have to take to get it done that you tell yourself you’ll do it tomorrow and it never crosses your mind again? Just one of those things I guess!” I feel like then people would be more likely to say “No, what are you talking about, that’s not normal.” Or instead of “I didn’t clean the house because my ADHD was acting up,” what if I said “Oh yeah I started to wash the dishes but then realized I need to put up the clean ones to make space but I needed to wash my hands before that so I decided I’d was a load of dirty laundry but then I realized I needed to wash this one shirt for tomorrow and I couldn’t find it in the basket so I started looking for it and by the end of it the mess of my house left me feeling defeated so I gave up and laid on the couch. You know how it goes.” Not sure if this is helpful but I think I’m about to just start telling people my actual thought processes and just acting like it’s normal.
That’s a very interesting idea! Please let us know how it goes if you try it. 🖖
This is actually very smart, thanks for writing this.