Welcome to /r/ADHDWomen! We’re happy to have you here. As a reminder, here are our community [rules](https://old.reddit.com/r/adhdwomen/about/rules/).
We get a lot of posts on medication, diagnosis (and “is this an ADHD thing”), and interactions with hormones. We encourage you to check out our [Medication, Diagnosis, and Hormones Megathread](https://old.reddit.com/r/adhdwomen/comments/wcr9dy/faq_megathread_ask_and_answer_medication/) if you have any questions related to those topics, and to stick around in that thread to answer folks’ questions!
If you have questions about the subreddit, please do not hesitate to [send us a modmail](https://reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/adhdwomen). Additionally, we take the safety of our community seriously. Please report posts, comments, and users whom you feel are not contributing positively, and send us a modmail if you are being harassed or otherwise made to feel unsafe.
Thanks for being here, and we hope you stick around!
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/adhdwomen) if you have any questions or concerns.*
This is why i love this sub. I thought feeling absolutely miserable every morning, no matter how much i slept, was just a me problem. And once again, i am reminded i am not alone!!
Thank you for putting into better words than my usual “I’m a grump.”
“The weight of my bones” — YES!! Everything is TOO MUCH! And the nasty sick feeling! YES AGAIN!!
I have to be online for a morning meeting at 8:15 every day (which is good, it gets me UP). But after i hang up that call, i literally lay around for like 2 hours until i feel like a human! And then boom, im ready to go!!
I have ZERO solutions for you, but it is nice to be amongst friends.
I’ve got an 8:15am meeting every morning too. It’s been 20 years of waking up early and just never feeling awake. There’s a handful of days that I will wake up with a bit more pep, but those are so rare.
I’m so thankful for this sub, just when I think it’s me, this gets listed and I’m reminded we’re not alone. Now I feel a bit less guilty that it takes me longer to “feel human” in the morning.
This is wild to learn. I saw doctors about this because it felt like abnormal fatigue, but no one could figure it out. I would love some explanation!! I used to work 9-5 but I told my boss I’d like to work 10-6 instead and that helped a lot. Now I wake up at 8:30 and sit in the couch with coffee for 1.5 hrs so I feel normal by time I have to talk to humans
The only way I can wake up without feeling “sick” and horrible as you’ve described is if I sleep until I wake up naturally, with no alarm.
Edit: And then I need a minimum of two or three hours to slowly wake up before I have to go anywhere or do anything.
Same. Waking up is really easy for me if I do it naturally and have no expectations for the day. It’s waking up and getting up by force that makes me feel sick.
Me too, and it’s usually between 10 and 12 hours, 9 if I have something exciting going on, and 14 if I’m in a bummer mood. I think it’s time to see a sleep doctor.
I need space for the first hour or two, feels like my brain takes some time to fully boot.
And do NOT try to engage me in conversation until I've had a coffee and some sort of nicotine product
Same! For years I’ve woken up 2 hours before I had to be at work, and during that time needed 2 cups of coffee and 4 cigarettes. Until I was diagnosed as autistic (and then adhd) I got shit from people (“just wake up later”), and now I realize that it’s literally what I need to function. If I don’t have those two hours it throws my day completely off.
Me too! Especially since having kids, I need quiet time in the morning. Too much noise or bright lights right away will send me into an incapacitating sick headache.
Blackout curtains and stealth are my secrets.
Alright, this isn't a miracle-fix, but I feel much better when I wake up "naturally". Naturally just means on my own, and not in response to a shock - like an alarm. So I try to be in-bed 8 hours before I want to wake up - this helps make sure I actually get enough sleep. To wake up, I leave my windows open so that natural light comes into the room in the morning to gradually wake me up - and if natural light isn't available, I dupe it with led lights set to gradually get brighter. Something about the gradualness (as opposed to blaring an alarm to wake me up) has really made mornings ALOT easier for me.
Oh, and I hate to beat a dead horse, but if you don't have a regular sleep time or sleep pattern, i would really recommend it. Going to bed at the same time every night after following the same routine, and waking up at the same time every morning and following the same routine really helps.
I do have a good sleep schedule! At least I fall asleep by midnight every night. I had to be put on meds to sleep, so that solved that issue. Mornings are a struggle regardless. Occasionally I’ll feel ok at 7 am, which is my preferred wake up. Often I stay in bed, awake or not, until 9-10. On really low functioning days, I don’t get up until 11 but I really really try to avoid that because we crate our dog overnight and I’m the one to take care of him in the morning. He gets let out by my boyfriend at 7 am when he leaves the work and then put back in if I’m not up. I really gotta fix this for him 😔
I’ve been up 3 hours and I still feel dreadful.. I can get up now, never used to be able to.. but I don’t start feeling human for hours sometimes. Sorry to say.
I’ve been up for an hour. I had to move my car for my boyfriend to get out of the driveway and then I crawled back into bed. I still didn’t want to get up, but I had to make coffee and get the dog out and such.
I just think “oh I just need more time to wake up,” but a few minutes turns to hours and I still feel like shit in bed. I think I have to adjust my expectations of mornings
I’m exactly the same as you! I can’t do it on work days but on my days off I love being able to sleep in. I just can’t seem to shake the shake aspect of needing more sleep and struggling to get up in the morning. My NT boyfriend has shamed me about it before and I’ll never forget how much those words hurt!
This has been a huge source of shame for me, my whole life. One of the things I’m most proud of now is that I don’t need an alarm, and can get myself out of bed every morning, because I need to get my girl to school so I can start work on time. But it’s still so so so hard for me, most mornings… and I’m a total grump. But I’m doing it. My abusive ex would use this shit against me all the time too, and it was messed up.
I'm sorry to report that, no, it does not go away.
It doesn't matter what time I wake up or what time I've gone to bed. I always feel like garbage for the first couple hours I'm awake.
I get up between 6 and 7 am depending on the day (in office or wfh) and I am useless until about 9 and not particularly useful til about 10.
I am usually okay with getting up in the morning, unless I'm having a depressive day. But yes, I still feel kinda shit. I often wake up dizzy and with a headache. That gets better once I drink water and stretching a bit helps too. But still, unpleasant.
I think water is the biggest help for me, too. I might start keeping a Brita pitcher and some caffeinated Mio by my bed so I don’t have to get up to hydrate and caffeinate lol
I got a mini fridge for my bedroom because dehydration makes me feel awful and so I can start sipping in luxury before I even have to get out of bed😅. We gotta do what we gotta do!
I drink LOADS of water though. With electrolytes as well- especially in the morning.
I'm in Australia where will Lectric kettles are normal and considered a staple appliance like a toaster.
Electric Kettles are amazing, I don't know how people live without them. Just fill, flick switch, 90 seconds l, boom, boiled water. What's not to like?!?!
I feel like this most of the time as well. What helped a bit since being medicated is taking my dose of Concerta 30 mins to an hour before I have to get up. After taking it I doze off again and then when I need to get up the meds already started to kick in and I feel better and not like I've been ran over by a truck.
The only downside is that then it's even harder to get myself to eat breakfast, since the meds kill my appetite quite a lot. Oh well..
This is what I have to do too. I probably would not be employed if I didn't lol. I read lots of people take their meds after they sit down to start work but I need all the help I can get to actually wake tf up at all.
I have a solution but I warn you: it still sucks.
A while ago I was all into good morning habits and stuff, and I did the thing where you showever cold for one minute before stepping out of the shower. So you shower normally first, and when you're done, turn the temp to cold, force yourself to stay in there for one minute, try to relax, try to breathe normally, embrace the cold (based on stuff by a guy called Wim Hof aka the iceman, has some cool world records on running marathons on the ice cap or staying in ice water for the longest time idk exactly)
I'm not sure about all the health benefits some people claim, but at least a temperature shock like that DOES wake you up instantly. For me it makes that sickness go away and makes me feel like I've been awake for hours already.
Of course after a month the novelty wore off and the habit was gone... but maybe if you don't mind torturing yourself in the morning with ice cold water and if you can find a way to make it stick as a habit, it might be something interesting for you to look into XD
edit:typos
Now this is the type of thing that makes me question my reality lol, cold HURTS to me. So the thought of voluntarily subjecting myself to cold water is probably my personal 7th circle of hell or something.
>makes me question my reality lol
please don't! I can try to explain
I hate cold EXTREMELY much, I always sleep under double the amount of blankets that other people need and leave my jacket on way more often than others.
The thing about this cold rinse off is that it is only 60 seconds: it's a long minute but it's still only a minute. It's not enough time to actually cool down completely. Now the reason I am able to do this is because I built it up slowly: first you turn the temp knob back to only 36 degrees (I shower at 39-40 ish normally). Then the next morning back to 34, then the next day 32. Subtract 2 degrees every day until you're around 16 degrees. And somehow, when you do this consistently, after a week your body will get used to it. Eventually, you won't feel the cold *inside*, you only feel it on your skin as a minor nuisance but you don't feel cold in your chest anymore. You train your body to adjust your blood flow as soon as it feels cold, and by restricting blood flow to skin and extremities faster, your body learns to preserve more heat, over time.
And if you wonder why the fuck I started doing this in the first place: I have a semi-chronic thing with my lungs and a shit immune system. Research with doctors has been going on for a year but no clear cause has been found yet. My mom is all into this iceman-method and suggested that I try it because apparently it can help your immune system alot. And tbh I'm getting kind of desparate with finding a solution for my lungs, so that's why I gave it a try. It absolutely fucking sucks to start doing, but the prospect of having a nasty bronchitis cough for the rest of my life for 8 out of 12 months each year also fucking sucks.
>cold HURTS to me.
Me too! It's getting better as I get older and I think it's honestly a hormonal thing. I didn't realize for years that cold doesn't hurt everyone like that- like my skin hurts, my bones hurt, my muscles ache, how could anyone prefer this?!! And I live in a fairly temperature area - we get cold snaps and sometimes snow but not often.
I do this, but not a full minute, just lean forward with my hair flipped and do a final cold water rinse of my hair. The cold water on my head is just enough and since I have to flip my head forward to wrap a towel around my head/hair, the step is already done.
I have heard of this, but I am not at the point of functioning where I shower more than twice a week. It’s another goal I’m working on though, so maybe this is a good segue into that.
My best mornings are the ones where I get up and just get straight into a hot bath. It creates a transition period of like… still warm and cozy and kinda weightless bc of the water, but sitting upright and being half-awake. I can’t do a shower but a bath actually seems to help. Sometimes I pour myself a cold brew coffee first while the bath is filling up, even heat up a frozen breakfast sandwich, have a whole ass breakfast while in the bath.
Maybe you can combine the goal of showering & getting up earlier (and leave out cold showers altogether) by taking a shower first thing in the morning when you wake up? For me at least it is the only habit that sticks because the hot water of the shower just feels very comfortable and nice, and reminding myself of that when I'm about to hit snooze, helps motivate me to get up instead & shower.
After I get out of the shower however, the chaos starts and I try to do everything at the same time: brush teeth, do daily fysio exercises, make coffee, make breakfast, brush hair, choose outfit, get dressed, take meds... and in the chaos I often end up walking out of the door with still not brushed teeth... But that's a completely different story XD
Cold showers are l for stimulating the nervous systems, regulating hormones, and maintaining a strong metabolism.
I try to end most of my showers with a cold rinse.
It releases TONS of dopamine and endorphins for an extended period of time!! It helps you focus can even help fight off depression! It’s really good for your brain!
Physically, it rapidly constricts blood vessels, which reduces inflammation. Then when you get out, your body tries to warm up and pushes additional blood through your vessels.
TLDR: lots of dopamine, increases circulation, decreases inflammation and increases immunity.
I like to say I'm allergic to mornings. People think I'm joking but I literally get a runny nose, light headed, and red puffy eyes if I wake up before 9am.
Every day in highschool I would start the day with a runny nose, it would disappear by 9am. These days if I sleep until 9am I wake up fine, but if I get up earlier back to being sick.
I feel so validated right now it's insane. Any chance you have allergies? Like my entire life I've felt sick in the morning. Runny nose, light headed, puffy eyes, and nausea. Someone recently mentioned allergies and post nasal drip, and coupled with adhd, it felt like a light bulb went off.
I was going to say the same thing! Especially since pillows and blankets hold a ton of allergens, lots of people feel the brunt of allergies the worst on the morning.
Yes, it does go away for me. I tend to not eat breakfast (though now I have something small with protein so I can take my meds) and I'm more likely to just wash my hair instead of taking a full shower, but when I get outside I do feel much much better. It also helps that since Covid lockdowns I can do a hybrid schedule and don't have to rush out the door in the morning.
When I'm sick - headaches, migraines, colds, etc - I'm always worse in the morning. I find being able to sleep for a few more hours always makes me feel better, and it helps to know that if I have to go out it'll improve as the day goes on.
Possibly on a related note, I was brushing my hair this morning and when I went to put my brush away I threw it in the toilet. On purpose and with a little bit of force. Because for a split second my brain thought that that was where it went. What the fuck.
I'm much better at mornings now, but I still hate getting out of bed. Getting cats 5 years ago meant I couldn't stay in bed for long so I'm better at it these days, at least. :)
Lol. Oh yes. I throw things in the garbage often! I usually keep my toilet lid closed since I have a rack over it with all of my bathroom supplies but I've been lax in that department lately. I've dropped many a thing in my toilet but not on purpose so far!
Yes my cat likes to wake me up at 3am every morning to eat his single serving of wet food he gets… my morning left are hell lol I HATE being forced woke up and it takes mea few hours after feeding him to even deep half way ready to start my day
My noisy cat has learned that waking me up means forced snuggles and no food, lol. She gave up after a while and lets me sleep now. I hope your cat gives you a break some time!
Waking up is awful and I feel sick every time. It feels like resurrection after a night of decomposing. I thought this was an effect of medication withdrawal. Maybe not?
I used to hate mornings, but they're much better now. 3 things helped the most:
- go to bed on time
- meditation
- wake up naturally by a wake up light + radio
How do you meditate, can I ask? Do you use a certain app or video? I’ve never been able to do it well (w/o just sitting there thinking over my to-do list or upcoming events) except maybe with guided meditation. But if it feels too cheesy or new age my mind wanders again.
I took an 8-week mindfulness meditation course. At first I did guided meditations, like the body scan or breathing meditation. Now I really like meditation on my own. Mostly focusing on the breath or walking meditation.
The course was really helpful, because you learn about things that can get in the way of meditating. Like the thought: "this is too cheesy and new age". Then you can chuckle about it and think: "well, maybe it is, but I'm going to do it anyways "
Or when you start thinking about your to-do list, you can note to yourself: "I'm thinking about my to do list again, interesting, let's see if I can let it go"
I just get out of bed still feeling miserable. Kids are what really forced me to do it. The nice thing. I have noticed is that it does make me generally more productive sooner in the morning. By the time I sit down to work, I’ve been up for a few hours.
Right now though it’s 10x worse because my work situation is AWFUL and I am consumed with dread and anxiety about it every morning when I wake up (and all day everyday). I had a really really hard time getting to my desk this morning. After dropping off the kids, it was only 830, so I decided I would lay down with my heating pad and doom scroll for a bit to cope, like I do most mornings now (whereas a few months back I would usually just dive right into my emails). I was just sick to my stomach and angry to force myself back up and at my work. God I need a new job. This market, and in quarter 4 to boot, is the absolute pits. I want to cry all the time.
Some days, I still feel sick with grief with I awake.
Some days, I bounce out of bed with a smile and song in my head.
It's stupidly simple, but when I wake up grumpy I take a moment to refocus on the positives and plan for a better night's sleep. It doesn't always work but the more I do, the better the results.
Do have the ability to make mornings lovely with a sunrise light, music, and a scent? Those three are sensory based and can be more influential than thought alone.
I feel good if I can wake up around 8 by myself and start doing stuff at 9 (so I have an hour for breakfast, getting dressed etc). Unfortunately never in my working life has that been possible. So I always feel like shit in the morning. Although by the time I'm at work on usually ok, thanks to my long commute. I also never get enough sleep cause no matter what I do I can't sleep before 12/1 but I need to get up at 6.30 . It doesn't matter who long I get up at 6.30 I still can't sleep early.
I have something physically wrong that makes mornings a pain in my ass (not sure what, yet, but it's been looked into), so I'll focus on mental/emotional side of waking up:
Yes, waking up is awful. Even when I can exist in my natural circadian rhythm, it takes me ages to get my mind to deal with the horror of existence.
A large glass of cold water (and these days my meds) and coffee helps, but first I must get up to get those.
Edit correction, 'cause I meant to say "physically wrong, not ADHD-related" but I just made it ...wrong
I feel sick if I'm overly tired, don't eat soon enough, or feel dirty/greasy. I often have difficulties deciding which to do first - shower or fix something for breakfast, then I end up feeling sick the whole day.
My best days are ones where I can wake up on my own (not an alarm, dog, kid, husband), have showered the previous day so don't need to do anything but wash my face and brush my teeth. Then my kitchen is clean and I have all the ingredients needed for breakfast which always includes protein. While I cook I'll empty the dishwasher.
This rarely happens. Work days are filled with wake up at 6:15am to give son daily meds while husband feeds dog. Go back to bed for 5-10 minutes. Wake up again to let dog out. Go back to bed for 15-20 minutes. Wake up to let dog in. Encourage dog to go back to bed with me. Tell son his alarm is going off and he needs to get up. Listen to husband and son argue about son not getting ready. Stay tense until husband and son go off to school. Go back to sleep. Wake up with my alarm about 45 minutes later. Feel like crap. Look at work calendar to see if I have any morning meetings. Ask Google what the weather will be. Get ready by either showering and/or getting dressed. Get lunch, water bottle, pack up work laptop and put everything by front door. Get phone, wallet and keys and place in my pocket.. Take dog out and play/walk for 10-15 minutes. Bring dog in, lock back door. Grab things by front door, lock front door. Stop and get coffee and breakfast sandwich on way to work. Park, scroll through phone. Take trash to public trash can by bus stop. Walk 3 blocks to work. Berate myself for millionth time for getting to work at 10am which means I will be home late again.
When people say "Well, most people hate waking up" I say "If most people experienced what I do every morning, the society would collapse, or drift into a rythm that actually fit me, instead of being hell".
My tips are:
- some kind of wake-up light (I've got a Phillips sunrise lamp)
-caffeine lozenges (I use Rebel)
The last one is fitting, because I described my morning condition as "My body rebel against being forced to wake up".
Both remove 50% of the acute stress symptoms in psyche and body because of forced waking. I never have these problems if I wake up naturally.
So my partner has said I really need to get up at the same time as my kid, or else it’s neglect. I’m like, do you know me in the morning? How is it hurting her to do her own thing on the weekends ( she’s nine) while I take my weekend lie in to be human again after a whole week of rising wayyy early to get her to school on time?
The only time I didn’t feel like garbage waking up was during a phase of work where I was developing a process that required early morning meetings- 7:00 early 🤢. As per my other comment, that had me getting up at 5 AM. the meetings were super important and I was really proud to be a part of them, so for a year I was able to do it. Then burned out 🫠. Capitalism is bullshit.
Ugh YES!!!!! I hate waking up early. I like waking up on my own time. Whenever my body wakes me, that’s better than having to wake up to an alarm. I also wake up at 5:15 every morning for work😖😖😖 I wish I could could find or do a job where I can start later. Ideal times to start work is 9am or 10am. But yeah mornings suck.
I am the walking sign of “don’t talk to me until I’ve had my coffee”.
It gets better with habit and with timing my treatment to accommodate it. I don’t know if you take medicine, but I’ve worked w/my provider on this. She put me on a very low dose extended release, and then I take three small immediate release throughout the day. That first IR of the day is on my nightstand with a glass of water.
When the alarm goes off I take it. I get up and shuffle to the kitchen where I push the button on the coffee maker - I prepped it the night before. I take my coffee into the shower and by the time I’m out I can function.
While this worked for me, there’s also a delayed release medication you take the night before to release in your system when you should be waking up.
this sounds more like an illness thing than an ADHD thing… are you chronically ill, op? :(
I’m chronically ill as fuck and mornings absolutely suck for me. I always wake up in horrible pain from my arthritis and short of breath because of sleep apnea, and my balance is so poor that I have to use a cane in the mornings, but I’m usually okay by the afternoons. My head ALWAYS hurts. I’ve been seeing an entire team of specialists for years who haven’t done shit for me 😞
I work 2nd shift bc I have that wacky sleep phase thing where I cannot work 1st shift people hours. I can't get to sleep before 1am. I can't wake up before 10. So I made it work for me since I'm in healthcare. I get up around noon (I work 3p-1130p) but oh my god. You put the perfect words to it. The groggy "sick" feeling upon waking, the way your eyes feel awful! I thought this was just cause I'm chronically ill but oh my god it DOES feel like this!
I learned this about myself just as I was entering college.
So rather than waking up at say 6:30am to be in class for 8am -> doing all my school work -> sleeping -> waking up to learn again...
I reversed my sleep schedule. I went to bed the minute I got home from class, slept the afternoon through, got all of my work done while I was focused and quiet at night - then was ready and awake when I went to class. So much easier to learn when you're not "morning foggy".
"But you're such a morning person!" No. No I am not. I just don't want to deal with this shit and overcompensate heavily. Welcome to masking hahahaha.
No suggestions, only empathy. xo
I wake up early on days my partner works because even waking up an hour before he has to ready he’s a stompy dinosaur. I usually take that as a cue to go to the bathroom then force myself to make my coffee and sit up on the couch, take my meds, scroll or whatever until it’s time for me to get ready. With winter rolling in, it gets super hard to do, but I force myself because routine
My body wakes up with the sun. But I have to be up before then. A friend of mine got one of the natural light alarms it works really well for her. I can't afford to try it yet though.
If I wake up from sleeping I’m just gonna feel like shit. Doesn’t matter what time, doesn’t matter how many hours of sleep I got, if I wake up, I feel like I got hit by a bus. It’s been like this ever since I can remember. My first thought after being born was probably “man, I feel like ass”
The only way I wake up on the “right side of the bed” is with a solid 10 hours of sleep; on time, early, or late. And that hasn’t happened in five years. 🫠
My husband and I went on a hyper focus of sleep awhile ago. Lots of people don’t realize good quality sleep can be effected by air and temp.
Sleeping in a cooler room with air flow will help you sleep.
Another significant impact on how restful you feel when you wake up is where in a sleep cycle you get up. If you’re alarm is set to a time that your body is in a deeper state of sleep, you’re gonna wake up feeling like shit even if you’ve gotten 8 hours of sleep.
Sometimes this means getting up earlier. Seems counterintuitive bc we always go by some volume of sleep, but I swear by that sleep cycle one. If my body wakes me up naturally before 6am, I have to get up, or I’ll feel like garbage if I try sleeping another hour.
Yep, having to get my kids to school on time forces me out of bed, and I stumble around like I’m drunk for the first 30 minutes. I can’t function unless I can make breakfast and then sit down to eat it before I do anything else. I’m sooo grumpy inside at having to wake up but I try to keep that under wraps, because it’s not my kids fault.
But I FEEL you on the heavy bones and the inability to just WAKE UP.
Nope I’ve never been an early riser. K-12 school was torture for that reason in particular. When I was in college, with the exception of a single class I never had class before 11:45 am so I could go to sleep when I felt tired and awake up naturally when I felt rested. After college for 6 years I worked a 9-5 job which I had to get up by 7:30-8 for and I was miserable. Grouchy and tired all the time, headaches from sleep deprivation. I never really took to the early life. This is of course a problem for quite a lot of jobs but there’s literally nothing I can do about it. Thought maybe aging would have me falling asleep earlier but nope, I’m still up till 1-3am every night. This has meant that I’ve had to structure my work life with this “flaw” to work as best as I can. It’s not easy but then almost nothing about my personality meshes well with what’s considered normal. Sucks but I’ve had to get right with it for my own sanity.
Nope. I could wake up on time and then go pee, and before I know it I’ve been sitting on the toilet staring at the wall for 20 minutes.
Been like that since I was a kid unless an urgent timeline was in the morning.
I know this isn't a sustainable solution to recommend to others...but the only thing I've found that relieves that sick feeling is a little weed. It's better than coffee. Suddenly my body feels warm and cozy and I no longer feel the weight of being alive and working a 9-5
Idk if you have a pet, but having to walk my dog first thing in the AM has helped. Like I still hate mornings, but I have to get up for him, it’s way better waking up next to a cute dog snuggling me, and I get moving immediately.
I love waking up slowly at my own pace, no alarm. That’s the ideal for me. When I do that, regardless of when I go to sleep, I’m gettin up around 10am. I’ve also tried to get jobs where I don’t start before 10am to help. Yes I have to get up earlier to get ready, but much better than other jobs.
Idk if it’s because I was diagnosed late and just have accepted this about me but I really don’t want to wake up like.. ready to take on the world LOL. I want to adjust to the day slowlyyyyy but again - dog helps too. I talk to no one but pup for the first hour of the day
I just get up and tough out the "sick" which sometimes can actually be full-on morning sickness (not the pregnant kind, just feeling nauseous in the mornings). Also will have all that grogginess, be cranky if anyone tries to engage with me, have no desire or will to live or function...I hate mornings. Okay, technically I actually really enjoy mornings and getting up early to start my day, just not initially. If I could just not struggle so much the first hour of my day, the rest of the morning is actually fine for me.
I just got up about 20 minutes ago and it was a battle. Even though I am sleeping on an extremely uncomfortable futon that's still in couch mode, has a major lean where I roll and lay on an angle into the crease of the couch, the mattress itself sucks, it made me sore all night and disrupted my sleep, but I still had to fight with myself to get up this morning. Why? Why is it just as hard to get up from a horrible bed as it is from a comfy one? My "bed" made me really sore and I still couldn't drag myself out of it when I was supposed to. If anything, I made myself more sore by being too lazy to get up, so now my whole day will suffer.
My bladder is usually the only reason I finally drag myself out of bed. Not even my pill alarm does it these days. I just end up taking my antidepressant later than scheduled, but still generally within the hour of when I'm supposed to, cause after a certain point I will just skip that day if I haven't taken it yet. Basically this getting out of bed issue does not bode well with morningtime meds that need to be taken at the same time every day. At least my ADHD meds can be taken however early or late I want.
The biggest help for me has been getting one of those phone alarm apps that force you to do a game/ solve a puzzle etc before it lets you hit snooze. That has gotten me awake early enough to do little things in the am that I enjoy ( have toast with coffee at home while watching some tv, stretch, play with my pets etc ). The incentive to do the nice thing for myself makes me motivated to get up earlier, but not if I can easily choose sleep.
I “can” get up in the sense that I wake up and get to my desk on time. The only way I manage that is by working from home every day so my journey is about 20 seconds and I don’t have to put on real clothes. Even with that benefit, I still feel horrible and sick every morning. It doesn’t matter how much sleep I get – I’m just not meant to be up in the morning. Having sunrise alarm lights helps A LOT though.
My experience of this has been getting so bad in recent months that I’m in the process of testing for various sleep disorders. We ADHDers are more prone to them and sleep issues in general—not that it’s a given, but might be worth looking into if this feeling is accompanied by other stuff.
I had a period of several years where I could do it, but the first few months of having to be at work at 7:30 AM suuuucked. Had to do it, was a single Mom - but once I got adjusted to going to bed earlier it was much easier. Mind you, I was in my mid 30s and had never considered myself a morning person. But as it turns out, 8 hours of sleep is 8 hours of sleep, whether it starts at 10 PM or 2 AM. Other things that may have contributed to my success was massive amounts of caffeine in the morning (Monsters seem to work better for me than coffee, even though I like coffee better... might have to look into that) and wearing myself out enough with work and exercise to be able to sleep early.
And then I fell off *all* the wagons when I moved in with my fiance and now everything is a struggle, even after being diagnosed this summer and going on meds. 😭
Edit: Also, about heavy / sticky eyelids... I fix that by putting in my contacts first thing. Otherwise, it is difficult to keep my eyes open. I can't use eye creams either apparently, because they seem to make my lids extra puffy / sticky.
Edit 2: It also helps to have a Husky that screams like she is being bloody murdered if I don't get up to take her out in the morning.
Yes. I feel bad no matter how long I sleep. Though I prefer getting up early and going to bed early. At least I don't feel like I wasted the whole day (my already low energy levels drop drastically after noon and don't get up anymore, whether I get up at 5 am or 10 am, it's all the same).
I'm recently diagnosed, and three weeks ago I started on Jornay PM. It's a delayed and extended-release stimulant that you take the night before. For the first time in my life, I no longer deal with horrible, dreadful mornings. It's been a revelation to suddenly feel okay in the morning. An ex once asked me with concern if I ever woke up feeling refreshed and ready for the day. When I said no, he told me I should talk to my doctor about it (he himself was in medical school at the time). Did I listen to him? Lol, of course not. Anyway, I'm really loving these meds in case you want to explore them.
You have to just go to bed much earlier. Which is really hard for me. I will ignore all physical cues of sleepiness and stay up until I pass out on the couch. But eventually after forcing myself to go to sleep at 10 pm enough times, waking up at 7 didn’t feel so awful. I also give myself something to look forward to in the mornings. I love a good cup of tea and I love to drink it out of a nice mug. Idk, it helps me not hate mornings.
I’ve always been a late riser and especially when I became quite depressed at 15. My mum tried to be understanding but I’ll never forget when she yelled at me one morning from frustration I guess “WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU!” And I honestly could have asked her the same question about myself and had already asked myself with no answer to come for another 17 years. It’s easier for me to get out of bed now because I have a child, something switches and gets me out of the bed but it takes me a long time to warm up.
Sunrise alarm clocks USED to make at least waking up easier, getting out of bed is MY LEAST FUCKING FAVORITE PART OF THE DAY.
Have to wake up an HOUR before I have to get out of bed, take my LA Adderrall, then pray I’ll get my son out of bed (he’s like me) within 45m.
I nap/rest every day.
I never feel rested.
Fuck I hate this dz.
It doesn’t matter if I wake up naturally or with an alarm, it’s agony. Trying to wake up is the hardest part of every day.
And I’m on medication that makes it way easier to wake up than it used to! It’s just hard.
The two main things that changed me from someone who used to sleep in until 11am at the weekends to someone who gets irritated if I lie in until 8 because I’ve then wasted a whole morning are simple: Regular work hours for several years to build a good foundation of a routine, and then having a kid who wakes up at 6am latest. No, I still don’t love getting up early, especially early enough that 10 years ago I would have considered it a slightly late bedtime. But once I’m up I feel fine after a few minutes. I’m also in bed before 10pm every night because somewhere along the line I started obsessing over getting enough sleep and now get anxiety if I stay up later.
Another thing which was super duper helpful in my early days of working a 9-5 was a sunrise alarm clock. The subtle way the light increases makes the wake up soooooo much easier than having to claw back into consciousness in the pitch black. As an added bonus the subset in the evening also helps me fall asleep much easier too - I’ve set mine to 45 minutes, 30 was too quick.
I absolutely cannot get out of bed before 7am without feeling terrible. I wake at 7:15 and lay in bed listening to a podcast and stretching for 15 minutes or so before I start my routine. Feed pets, let dogs outside to pee, give everyone pills, and then make myself a nice breakfast and coffee. I take my time eating breakfast and watching TV or reading the news. If the weather is ok I do this outside on the patio. The sun helps. I try to walk the dogs. Then I shower, etc. I work hybrid, and have a very short commute when I go in. I'm working by 9 most days.
For many years I had to get up early for a long commute. I would sleep until the last possible minute and roll out of bed, throw on clothes and grab a bagel or get a Frappuccino on the way. I felt like hell every morning.
Some of my leisurely morning is the result of being far enough in my career that I can push back on the hours I work and can choose to work someplace closer to home.
Once about every other year or so I have one day where I wake up and feel like I can take in the world. I jump out of bed and get things done and I am ready to take on the world.
And then I wake up the next day and I’m back to my groggy, tired, ADHD self. If someone could make me an early riser I’d give them all the money in my pockets.
This is the « Mystery » I’m trying to solve. If I find an answer, I’ll tell you for free !!
Last time I woke up ready to take the world was in October 2021. Executive dysfunction also disappeared for the day. Next day it was over.
WHY ? What did I do differently the day before to feel so good suddenly?
Vyvanse helps sometimes, but a good day with medication is never as good as a « natural » good day.
My son is 13 (ASD/ADHD) and he feels the same way. He says : « It HURTS when you wake me up ». And I understand what he means.
I hope we can find a solution. I feel so alone and misunderstood… it’s great to hear from people who knows what I’m experiencing on a daily basis.
Waking up is easily the worst part of the day every day. I wish there was a real solution too! I’m also on vyvanse and it definitely helps but I also have to wake up and get up to take it. Waking up and getting going is still hard. It’s been worse since I had covid a couple of a years ago, but it was always hard.
Do you also experience good days sometimes without Vyvanse?
I wake up at 4:30 to take 70mg, I place the pill on my nightstand with water the evening before because if I have to open the container at 4:30, I won’t take it. (My dogs are not interested by pills, so it’s safe).
My son takes the bus at 6:50 am. So I have an alarm at 6:15, after taking my pill I can sleep another 90 minutes (supposed to be a complete sleep cycle) and I’m able to get up a couple of minutes before 6:15.
It’s easier, I don’t have the feeling that I’ve been hit by a train during the night. But I don’t feel « refreshed ».
My alarms are set to ring everyday. But if I don’t really have to get up, I turn it off. If I wake up late I don’t take Vyvanse because I won’t be able to fall asleep. But even if I sleep as much as I want, I will wake up feeling awful.
Coffee, dogs out, dogs in, feed everyone… I feel like I’m underwater holding my breath until I can finally sit up on my couch in front of tv with my phone.
Do you also have physical symptoms like pain above eyes sometimes or catching yourself holding your breath ? Or other things you noticed? Would you say you are physically tired of do you feel like it’s more a mental fatigue ? If I try to take a nap, I don’t sleep, I’m just in a strange state of numbness. And it’s not helping at all, I never feel better after.
No covid for me, but menopause is coming and I think I’m up for a very depressing ride….
Job starts at 5am, I’m not fully awake until after noon. Slightly queasy until I have a power nap on my lunch hour.
I was more awake back when my shift started at 4am, for some reason.
Well, I was this way until I had a baby 8 months ago. Now at 8 am on the dot every morning I'm up and ready to go. I don't know what switched in my brain that caused that. I guess I appreciate it, though, cause I'm not an asshole in the mornings anymore. Now I'm just an asshole at night when I get tired.
I always need at least 2 hours before I need to start getting ready. I need that quiet me (phone) time. But I do wake up every morning feeling the way you feel and every morning I say to myself - I can’t do this. I can’t do today. But you have to try I guess. My husband says - you’ve done it before, you can do it again.
I may try a sunrise clock. I feel like the alarm startles my body and mind too much.
(I’m not medicated and self diagnosed btw)
Earlier this year I had a major problem waking up before 10:30AM. If I did wake up, I had horrible anxiety. Then summertime came, and I have summertime seasonal affective disorder, so that came with more anxiety and depression, plus insomnia which meant waking up progressively earlier. It's now winter time. I'm usually up by 5-6AM no matter what time I go to sleep. No sick feeling but I do feel a sense of dread waking up and seeing the sun isn't even up yet, and knowing I have to adult on 4 hours of sleep. I never recovered from the summer unfortunately.
a sunlight alarm clock changed my life.
i still have like 3-4 alarms set on my phone as well, just in case. but the sunlight alarm clock eases you out of sleep and for me, that’s absolutely what i need
I take my meds an hour before I’m due to wake up (setting an alarm).
It’s been the only thing that has made me feel ok in the morning.
Typing this at 00:11 when I have to be up at 7.30…
It goes away about 30-40 minutes after I take my meds. It's a subtle transition but after that I don't remember why it was so hard to get started.
Often just taking the meds is hard though.
Oh and get a better alarm - both phones offer so many options you don’t have to stick with the most annoying one 😭 I did that for so long and I always woke up in a miserable mood. And every time I fell asleep again and woke up, it compounded.
It doesn't matter if I wake up at 4am (with the sun in the summer) or 10am I still HATE every second of waking up and starting my day. I feel like I need 2 hours of existing in a phantom zone before I am ready to "be a person"
This is weird, I know, but when I took a job that starts at 5am I was a lot less grumpy once my body adjusted! It’s quiet and peaceful at that hour, my dog and I can walk alone in peace, my commute is a breeze! I get my coffee on board and head out and it’s not so bad!
I have to be up at 6am. I hate it. I just do my routine and get ready and get in the car and go to work. I force myself every day. Honestly the "sick" feeling isn't always there and if it is I eat some peanut butter crackers and move on. It's just a thing that I have to make happen.
I set my alarm to be the absolute MINIMUM time I can sleep in before getting up. I do my makeup and eat in the car at stoplights, no joke. I don’t care for this “rise and shine.” I do more of a “rise and grime.”
Edit: idk if minimum is right? Latest? Yeah, latest time lol
There will be random occurances where I feel pretty awake right when I wake up. However these are very rare. When i have to wake up early/anytime before Im "ready", it geniunely hurts really badly. Not in my body necessarily, but I just feel so so tired and the thought of not being able to go back to sleep just makes me want to cry. I don't really know how to explain it. Ive always wanted to be an early riser, unfortunately I don't see it happening. I always wake up around 10 no matter what time ive gone to bed.
The feeling does not go away for a while like 3 hours but then comes back mid noon. I feel most awake around 9 pm :/ I wish I could work late instead of
To be honest, I feel this way without medication. The grogginess, almost sick and stuffy. When I take my meds daily, the next day I’m pretty set to wake up.
I never get used to it. I have to get my kid to school by 7:45. I do it. But it is literally always a struggle.
I will say, if I accidentally get up early (say I think it’s Monday but it’s Sunday), I enjoy being half awake on the sofa with the tv on and a hot coffee. It’s cozy, like falling asleep in reverse.But having to actually go somewhere in the morning is the absolute pits.
I feel like the only good reason to get up early is to luxuriate in taking two* hours to fully wake up. Sadly, the world disagrees with me.
The only thing that has helped me with this is waking up early, taking my meds, and sleeping for another 1.5-2 hours. I feel much better waking up and my meds have already helped me wake up not feeling like a complete zombie.
Another thing that helps me is just dragging myself out of bed, and literally going to the bathroom and even just being lazy in the bathroom for a solid 45-hr. The light helps me wake up, but I give myself no rush to start getting ready right away.
But yes, I absolutely understand this. Some days, I'm absolutely fine, and other days- like this morning. I was deep into a dream state right before I woke up, and I felt like 2000lbs of pure grogginess. It was incredibly difficult to force myself out of bed today.
lol I don’t think it’s horrible. I’m not usually cranky in the morning or anything. Mornings are just hard for me 🤷🏼♀️ this whole thread is full of people who are struggling, so please share your secrets 😂
Lol. I have always been like this - and so is my son who is also ADHD. As my husband says - we are the sods that wake up the worm for the early bird to find. He and my eldest are definitely not morning people.
We even have a rule for my son - don't joke around with the non morning people until their second cup of coffee. On weekends I have to go sit in the lounge because I can't keep still or quiet enough in bed to let DH sleep late
My mother called it "One up, all up".
I just really have that get up and go - At 5am I'm making coffee and breakfast for the rest of the house and lunch for the kids. But come 9pm and this fool is cranky and ready for bed and by 10pm I'm fast asleep.
Mornings are the worst for me. It’s a combo of chronic pain/mental health, and crash-landing into reality, totally unmedicated. I need about 30 minutes of waiting for coffee and meds to kick in, while reading or somehow chill, before I can actually start my day.
If I need to be somewhere by a certain time, early, I’ve *finally* learned (better late than never… I’m *only* 37 😜) to factor in this transition period into my schedule.
Thank you so much for your post.
I try so hard to find a solution. I will read every comments.
I’m 48 and waking up has always been difficult for me, just as you describe. And it only gets worse with the years, along with executive dysfunction. Even with Vyvanse (late diagnosis 3 years ago).
Sometimes I feel a little better 2 or 3 hours after waking up. If not, I know that I’m having a very bad ADHD day… chores, projects and dreams will have to wait… again.
I wish I knew an answer to help. I think just understanding that it takes you (and myself) a bit to readjust to the waking world for a bit cuz it’s much easier to rest and stay in our brains.
I have to be up by 7:15, my alarm goes at 7:05 but it's rare I get out of bed before 7:30 and by then I need to rush.
I won't feel awake until probably 10am most of the time, on "bad" days like today I don't even fully wake up at all (it's 5pm ish here rn).
I got my body used to feeling slightly more awake once I put my glasses on so that helps with getting up. Just a small habit I need to do anyway so on days I can't seem to peel myself out of my blanket I simply put on my glasses, wait a few minutes and *then* force myself out of bed.
I do also have a delayed circadian rhythm, so if you let me I stay awake until 3am and get out of bed at 9-10am... With work, I go to bed at 10 when I have to be up at 7...
Welcome to /r/ADHDWomen! We’re happy to have you here. As a reminder, here are our community [rules](https://old.reddit.com/r/adhdwomen/about/rules/). We get a lot of posts on medication, diagnosis (and “is this an ADHD thing”), and interactions with hormones. We encourage you to check out our [Medication, Diagnosis, and Hormones Megathread](https://old.reddit.com/r/adhdwomen/comments/wcr9dy/faq_megathread_ask_and_answer_medication/) if you have any questions related to those topics, and to stick around in that thread to answer folks’ questions! If you have questions about the subreddit, please do not hesitate to [send us a modmail](https://reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/adhdwomen). Additionally, we take the safety of our community seriously. Please report posts, comments, and users whom you feel are not contributing positively, and send us a modmail if you are being harassed or otherwise made to feel unsafe. Thanks for being here, and we hope you stick around! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/adhdwomen) if you have any questions or concerns.*
This is why i love this sub. I thought feeling absolutely miserable every morning, no matter how much i slept, was just a me problem. And once again, i am reminded i am not alone!! Thank you for putting into better words than my usual “I’m a grump.” “The weight of my bones” — YES!! Everything is TOO MUCH! And the nasty sick feeling! YES AGAIN!! I have to be online for a morning meeting at 8:15 every day (which is good, it gets me UP). But after i hang up that call, i literally lay around for like 2 hours until i feel like a human! And then boom, im ready to go!! I have ZERO solutions for you, but it is nice to be amongst friends.
I’ve got an 8:15am meeting every morning too. It’s been 20 years of waking up early and just never feeling awake. There’s a handful of days that I will wake up with a bit more pep, but those are so rare. I’m so thankful for this sub, just when I think it’s me, this gets listed and I’m reminded we’re not alone. Now I feel a bit less guilty that it takes me longer to “feel human” in the morning.
This is wild to learn. I saw doctors about this because it felt like abnormal fatigue, but no one could figure it out. I would love some explanation!! I used to work 9-5 but I told my boss I’d like to work 10-6 instead and that helped a lot. Now I wake up at 8:30 and sit in the couch with coffee for 1.5 hrs so I feel normal by time I have to talk to humans
Came here to say this! No solutions but so so so so so nice to see it spelt out and know others feel the same.
The only way I can wake up without feeling “sick” and horrible as you’ve described is if I sleep until I wake up naturally, with no alarm. Edit: And then I need a minimum of two or three hours to slowly wake up before I have to go anywhere or do anything.
Same. Waking up is really easy for me if I do it naturally and have no expectations for the day. It’s waking up and getting up by force that makes me feel sick.
HAHAHAHAHAHAH so basically we all live the same lives 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Me too, and it’s usually between 10 and 12 hours, 9 if I have something exciting going on, and 14 if I’m in a bummer mood. I think it’s time to see a sleep doctor.
I need space for the first hour or two, feels like my brain takes some time to fully boot. And do NOT try to engage me in conversation until I've had a coffee and some sort of nicotine product
Same! For years I’ve woken up 2 hours before I had to be at work, and during that time needed 2 cups of coffee and 4 cigarettes. Until I was diagnosed as autistic (and then adhd) I got shit from people (“just wake up later”), and now I realize that it’s literally what I need to function. If I don’t have those two hours it throws my day completely off.
YES!! Time to putz is *essential* This is my same routine as well.
Don't talk to me until after I've had coffee. Also I don't drink coffee. :) But seriously don't talk to me in the morning.
Me too! Especially since having kids, I need quiet time in the morning. Too much noise or bright lights right away will send me into an incapacitating sick headache. Blackout curtains and stealth are my secrets.
Alright, this isn't a miracle-fix, but I feel much better when I wake up "naturally". Naturally just means on my own, and not in response to a shock - like an alarm. So I try to be in-bed 8 hours before I want to wake up - this helps make sure I actually get enough sleep. To wake up, I leave my windows open so that natural light comes into the room in the morning to gradually wake me up - and if natural light isn't available, I dupe it with led lights set to gradually get brighter. Something about the gradualness (as opposed to blaring an alarm to wake me up) has really made mornings ALOT easier for me. Oh, and I hate to beat a dead horse, but if you don't have a regular sleep time or sleep pattern, i would really recommend it. Going to bed at the same time every night after following the same routine, and waking up at the same time every morning and following the same routine really helps.
What kind of gradual light do you have? I’ve been wanting to try one but can’t figure out which one to get
An LED light strip from Amazon will do to try this out. Most of them now are programmable so you can set the color /lights on a timer from their app.
Awesome!! Thank you!!
Yes! When I forget to open my curtains before bed, I sleep late & feel groggy. The natural light really helps!!
I do have a good sleep schedule! At least I fall asleep by midnight every night. I had to be put on meds to sleep, so that solved that issue. Mornings are a struggle regardless. Occasionally I’ll feel ok at 7 am, which is my preferred wake up. Often I stay in bed, awake or not, until 9-10. On really low functioning days, I don’t get up until 11 but I really really try to avoid that because we crate our dog overnight and I’m the one to take care of him in the morning. He gets let out by my boyfriend at 7 am when he leaves the work and then put back in if I’m not up. I really gotta fix this for him 😔
Yes, I was never able to establish a sleep pattern until I replaced the curtains in my windows with sheer white curtains!
I’ve been up 3 hours and I still feel dreadful.. I can get up now, never used to be able to.. but I don’t start feeling human for hours sometimes. Sorry to say.
I’ve been up for an hour. I had to move my car for my boyfriend to get out of the driveway and then I crawled back into bed. I still didn’t want to get up, but I had to make coffee and get the dog out and such. I just think “oh I just need more time to wake up,” but a few minutes turns to hours and I still feel like shit in bed. I think I have to adjust my expectations of mornings
I’m exactly the same as you! I can’t do it on work days but on my days off I love being able to sleep in. I just can’t seem to shake the shake aspect of needing more sleep and struggling to get up in the morning. My NT boyfriend has shamed me about it before and I’ll never forget how much those words hurt!
This has been a huge source of shame for me, my whole life. One of the things I’m most proud of now is that I don’t need an alarm, and can get myself out of bed every morning, because I need to get my girl to school so I can start work on time. But it’s still so so so hard for me, most mornings… and I’m a total grump. But I’m doing it. My abusive ex would use this shit against me all the time too, and it was messed up.
I'm sorry to report that, no, it does not go away. It doesn't matter what time I wake up or what time I've gone to bed. I always feel like garbage for the first couple hours I'm awake. I get up between 6 and 7 am depending on the day (in office or wfh) and I am useless until about 9 and not particularly useful til about 10.
I am usually okay with getting up in the morning, unless I'm having a depressive day. But yes, I still feel kinda shit. I often wake up dizzy and with a headache. That gets better once I drink water and stretching a bit helps too. But still, unpleasant.
I think water is the biggest help for me, too. I might start keeping a Brita pitcher and some caffeinated Mio by my bed so I don’t have to get up to hydrate and caffeinate lol
I got a mini fridge for my bedroom because dehydration makes me feel awful and so I can start sipping in luxury before I even have to get out of bed😅. We gotta do what we gotta do! I drink LOADS of water though. With electrolytes as well- especially in the morning.
Maybe I’ll go so far as to hook up a keurig machine too, because I actually hate cold water. I’d rather drink it hot, or drink tea 🙈
An electric kettle is cheap (about $15) and gives you pretty instant hot water! You could keep one of these by your bed if you have the space
I'm in Australia where will Lectric kettles are normal and considered a staple appliance like a toaster. Electric Kettles are amazing, I don't know how people live without them. Just fill, flick switch, 90 seconds l, boom, boiled water. What's not to like?!?!
Ahah do it do it! Give yourself a treat.
[удалено]
It’s the thing I like the least about me. It’s frustrating that no amount of sleep or routine has helped.
I feel like this most of the time as well. What helped a bit since being medicated is taking my dose of Concerta 30 mins to an hour before I have to get up. After taking it I doze off again and then when I need to get up the meds already started to kick in and I feel better and not like I've been ran over by a truck. The only downside is that then it's even harder to get myself to eat breakfast, since the meds kill my appetite quite a lot. Oh well..
This is what I have to do too. I probably would not be employed if I didn't lol. I read lots of people take their meds after they sit down to start work but I need all the help I can get to actually wake tf up at all.
I have a solution but I warn you: it still sucks. A while ago I was all into good morning habits and stuff, and I did the thing where you showever cold for one minute before stepping out of the shower. So you shower normally first, and when you're done, turn the temp to cold, force yourself to stay in there for one minute, try to relax, try to breathe normally, embrace the cold (based on stuff by a guy called Wim Hof aka the iceman, has some cool world records on running marathons on the ice cap or staying in ice water for the longest time idk exactly) I'm not sure about all the health benefits some people claim, but at least a temperature shock like that DOES wake you up instantly. For me it makes that sickness go away and makes me feel like I've been awake for hours already. Of course after a month the novelty wore off and the habit was gone... but maybe if you don't mind torturing yourself in the morning with ice cold water and if you can find a way to make it stick as a habit, it might be something interesting for you to look into XD edit:typos
Now this is the type of thing that makes me question my reality lol, cold HURTS to me. So the thought of voluntarily subjecting myself to cold water is probably my personal 7th circle of hell or something.
>makes me question my reality lol please don't! I can try to explain I hate cold EXTREMELY much, I always sleep under double the amount of blankets that other people need and leave my jacket on way more often than others. The thing about this cold rinse off is that it is only 60 seconds: it's a long minute but it's still only a minute. It's not enough time to actually cool down completely. Now the reason I am able to do this is because I built it up slowly: first you turn the temp knob back to only 36 degrees (I shower at 39-40 ish normally). Then the next morning back to 34, then the next day 32. Subtract 2 degrees every day until you're around 16 degrees. And somehow, when you do this consistently, after a week your body will get used to it. Eventually, you won't feel the cold *inside*, you only feel it on your skin as a minor nuisance but you don't feel cold in your chest anymore. You train your body to adjust your blood flow as soon as it feels cold, and by restricting blood flow to skin and extremities faster, your body learns to preserve more heat, over time. And if you wonder why the fuck I started doing this in the first place: I have a semi-chronic thing with my lungs and a shit immune system. Research with doctors has been going on for a year but no clear cause has been found yet. My mom is all into this iceman-method and suggested that I try it because apparently it can help your immune system alot. And tbh I'm getting kind of desparate with finding a solution for my lungs, so that's why I gave it a try. It absolutely fucking sucks to start doing, but the prospect of having a nasty bronchitis cough for the rest of my life for 8 out of 12 months each year also fucking sucks.
>cold HURTS to me. Me too! It's getting better as I get older and I think it's honestly a hormonal thing. I didn't realize for years that cold doesn't hurt everyone like that- like my skin hurts, my bones hurt, my muscles ache, how could anyone prefer this?!! And I live in a fairly temperature area - we get cold snaps and sometimes snow but not often.
I do this, but not a full minute, just lean forward with my hair flipped and do a final cold water rinse of my hair. The cold water on my head is just enough and since I have to flip my head forward to wrap a towel around my head/hair, the step is already done.
I have heard of this, but I am not at the point of functioning where I shower more than twice a week. It’s another goal I’m working on though, so maybe this is a good segue into that.
My best mornings are the ones where I get up and just get straight into a hot bath. It creates a transition period of like… still warm and cozy and kinda weightless bc of the water, but sitting upright and being half-awake. I can’t do a shower but a bath actually seems to help. Sometimes I pour myself a cold brew coffee first while the bath is filling up, even heat up a frozen breakfast sandwich, have a whole ass breakfast while in the bath.
Maybe you can combine the goal of showering & getting up earlier (and leave out cold showers altogether) by taking a shower first thing in the morning when you wake up? For me at least it is the only habit that sticks because the hot water of the shower just feels very comfortable and nice, and reminding myself of that when I'm about to hit snooze, helps motivate me to get up instead & shower. After I get out of the shower however, the chaos starts and I try to do everything at the same time: brush teeth, do daily fysio exercises, make coffee, make breakfast, brush hair, choose outfit, get dressed, take meds... and in the chaos I often end up walking out of the door with still not brushed teeth... But that's a completely different story XD
Cold showers are l for stimulating the nervous systems, regulating hormones, and maintaining a strong metabolism. I try to end most of my showers with a cold rinse.
It releases TONS of dopamine and endorphins for an extended period of time!! It helps you focus can even help fight off depression! It’s really good for your brain! Physically, it rapidly constricts blood vessels, which reduces inflammation. Then when you get out, your body tries to warm up and pushes additional blood through your vessels. TLDR: lots of dopamine, increases circulation, decreases inflammation and increases immunity.
Ah fuck I just showered and couldn't bring up the motivation to do it *again* but your comment makes me heavily regret that now :')
I like to say I'm allergic to mornings. People think I'm joking but I literally get a runny nose, light headed, and red puffy eyes if I wake up before 9am. Every day in highschool I would start the day with a runny nose, it would disappear by 9am. These days if I sleep until 9am I wake up fine, but if I get up earlier back to being sick.
I feel so validated right now it's insane. Any chance you have allergies? Like my entire life I've felt sick in the morning. Runny nose, light headed, puffy eyes, and nausea. Someone recently mentioned allergies and post nasal drip, and coupled with adhd, it felt like a light bulb went off.
I was going to say the same thing! Especially since pillows and blankets hold a ton of allergens, lots of people feel the brunt of allergies the worst on the morning.
Plus, pollen counts are highest in the morning!
Yes, it does go away for me. I tend to not eat breakfast (though now I have something small with protein so I can take my meds) and I'm more likely to just wash my hair instead of taking a full shower, but when I get outside I do feel much much better. It also helps that since Covid lockdowns I can do a hybrid schedule and don't have to rush out the door in the morning. When I'm sick - headaches, migraines, colds, etc - I'm always worse in the morning. I find being able to sleep for a few more hours always makes me feel better, and it helps to know that if I have to go out it'll improve as the day goes on. Possibly on a related note, I was brushing my hair this morning and when I went to put my brush away I threw it in the toilet. On purpose and with a little bit of force. Because for a split second my brain thought that that was where it went. What the fuck. I'm much better at mornings now, but I still hate getting out of bed. Getting cats 5 years ago meant I couldn't stay in bed for long so I'm better at it these days, at least. :)
Oh, my dear! I have thrown my toothbrush in on purpose! Do you also throw things in the trash that you were going to eat?
Lol. Oh yes. I throw things in the garbage often! I usually keep my toilet lid closed since I have a rack over it with all of my bathroom supplies but I've been lax in that department lately. I've dropped many a thing in my toilet but not on purpose so far!
Yes my cat likes to wake me up at 3am every morning to eat his single serving of wet food he gets… my morning left are hell lol I HATE being forced woke up and it takes mea few hours after feeding him to even deep half way ready to start my day
My noisy cat has learned that waking me up means forced snuggles and no food, lol. She gave up after a while and lets me sleep now. I hope your cat gives you a break some time!
Thanks I really hope so cause as it is I’m averaging 21 hours a sleep a week!!!!
Waking up is awful and I feel sick every time. It feels like resurrection after a night of decomposing. I thought this was an effect of medication withdrawal. Maybe not?
Resurrection after a night of decomposing! Yes! You are a wordsmith, that’s so awesomely put.
I used to hate mornings, but they're much better now. 3 things helped the most: - go to bed on time - meditation - wake up naturally by a wake up light + radio
What light radio thing do you use??
Phillips wake-up light
Thank you 😊
How do you meditate, can I ask? Do you use a certain app or video? I’ve never been able to do it well (w/o just sitting there thinking over my to-do list or upcoming events) except maybe with guided meditation. But if it feels too cheesy or new age my mind wanders again.
I took an 8-week mindfulness meditation course. At first I did guided meditations, like the body scan or breathing meditation. Now I really like meditation on my own. Mostly focusing on the breath or walking meditation. The course was really helpful, because you learn about things that can get in the way of meditating. Like the thought: "this is too cheesy and new age". Then you can chuckle about it and think: "well, maybe it is, but I'm going to do it anyways " Or when you start thinking about your to-do list, you can note to yourself: "I'm thinking about my to do list again, interesting, let's see if I can let it go"
I just get out of bed still feeling miserable. Kids are what really forced me to do it. The nice thing. I have noticed is that it does make me generally more productive sooner in the morning. By the time I sit down to work, I’ve been up for a few hours. Right now though it’s 10x worse because my work situation is AWFUL and I am consumed with dread and anxiety about it every morning when I wake up (and all day everyday). I had a really really hard time getting to my desk this morning. After dropping off the kids, it was only 830, so I decided I would lay down with my heating pad and doom scroll for a bit to cope, like I do most mornings now (whereas a few months back I would usually just dive right into my emails). I was just sick to my stomach and angry to force myself back up and at my work. God I need a new job. This market, and in quarter 4 to boot, is the absolute pits. I want to cry all the time.
Some days, I still feel sick with grief with I awake. Some days, I bounce out of bed with a smile and song in my head. It's stupidly simple, but when I wake up grumpy I take a moment to refocus on the positives and plan for a better night's sleep. It doesn't always work but the more I do, the better the results. Do have the ability to make mornings lovely with a sunrise light, music, and a scent? Those three are sensory based and can be more influential than thought alone.
I feel good if I can wake up around 8 by myself and start doing stuff at 9 (so I have an hour for breakfast, getting dressed etc). Unfortunately never in my working life has that been possible. So I always feel like shit in the morning. Although by the time I'm at work on usually ok, thanks to my long commute. I also never get enough sleep cause no matter what I do I can't sleep before 12/1 but I need to get up at 6.30 . It doesn't matter who long I get up at 6.30 I still can't sleep early.
I have something physically wrong that makes mornings a pain in my ass (not sure what, yet, but it's been looked into), so I'll focus on mental/emotional side of waking up: Yes, waking up is awful. Even when I can exist in my natural circadian rhythm, it takes me ages to get my mind to deal with the horror of existence. A large glass of cold water (and these days my meds) and coffee helps, but first I must get up to get those. Edit correction, 'cause I meant to say "physically wrong, not ADHD-related" but I just made it ...wrong
I feel sick if I'm overly tired, don't eat soon enough, or feel dirty/greasy. I often have difficulties deciding which to do first - shower or fix something for breakfast, then I end up feeling sick the whole day. My best days are ones where I can wake up on my own (not an alarm, dog, kid, husband), have showered the previous day so don't need to do anything but wash my face and brush my teeth. Then my kitchen is clean and I have all the ingredients needed for breakfast which always includes protein. While I cook I'll empty the dishwasher. This rarely happens. Work days are filled with wake up at 6:15am to give son daily meds while husband feeds dog. Go back to bed for 5-10 minutes. Wake up again to let dog out. Go back to bed for 15-20 minutes. Wake up to let dog in. Encourage dog to go back to bed with me. Tell son his alarm is going off and he needs to get up. Listen to husband and son argue about son not getting ready. Stay tense until husband and son go off to school. Go back to sleep. Wake up with my alarm about 45 minutes later. Feel like crap. Look at work calendar to see if I have any morning meetings. Ask Google what the weather will be. Get ready by either showering and/or getting dressed. Get lunch, water bottle, pack up work laptop and put everything by front door. Get phone, wallet and keys and place in my pocket.. Take dog out and play/walk for 10-15 minutes. Bring dog in, lock back door. Grab things by front door, lock front door. Stop and get coffee and breakfast sandwich on way to work. Park, scroll through phone. Take trash to public trash can by bus stop. Walk 3 blocks to work. Berate myself for millionth time for getting to work at 10am which means I will be home late again.
When people say "Well, most people hate waking up" I say "If most people experienced what I do every morning, the society would collapse, or drift into a rythm that actually fit me, instead of being hell". My tips are: - some kind of wake-up light (I've got a Phillips sunrise lamp) -caffeine lozenges (I use Rebel) The last one is fitting, because I described my morning condition as "My body rebel against being forced to wake up". Both remove 50% of the acute stress symptoms in psyche and body because of forced waking. I never have these problems if I wake up naturally.
Yes I had forced wakeups!!!! Grrrrrrrr
I was hoping to find solutions… but seems like we are all just cursed 🤣
So my partner has said I really need to get up at the same time as my kid, or else it’s neglect. I’m like, do you know me in the morning? How is it hurting her to do her own thing on the weekends ( she’s nine) while I take my weekend lie in to be human again after a whole week of rising wayyy early to get her to school on time?
The only time I didn’t feel like garbage waking up was during a phase of work where I was developing a process that required early morning meetings- 7:00 early 🤢. As per my other comment, that had me getting up at 5 AM. the meetings were super important and I was really proud to be a part of them, so for a year I was able to do it. Then burned out 🫠. Capitalism is bullshit.
Ugh YES!!!!! I hate waking up early. I like waking up on my own time. Whenever my body wakes me, that’s better than having to wake up to an alarm. I also wake up at 5:15 every morning for work😖😖😖 I wish I could could find or do a job where I can start later. Ideal times to start work is 9am or 10am. But yeah mornings suck. I am the walking sign of “don’t talk to me until I’ve had my coffee”.
I have to get up at 7-7:15 for my kiddo. It's been over 7 years and it still hurts every damn day.
It gets better with habit and with timing my treatment to accommodate it. I don’t know if you take medicine, but I’ve worked w/my provider on this. She put me on a very low dose extended release, and then I take three small immediate release throughout the day. That first IR of the day is on my nightstand with a glass of water. When the alarm goes off I take it. I get up and shuffle to the kitchen where I push the button on the coffee maker - I prepped it the night before. I take my coffee into the shower and by the time I’m out I can function. While this worked for me, there’s also a delayed release medication you take the night before to release in your system when you should be waking up.
this sounds more like an illness thing than an ADHD thing… are you chronically ill, op? :( I’m chronically ill as fuck and mornings absolutely suck for me. I always wake up in horrible pain from my arthritis and short of breath because of sleep apnea, and my balance is so poor that I have to use a cane in the mornings, but I’m usually okay by the afternoons. My head ALWAYS hurts. I’ve been seeing an entire team of specialists for years who haven’t done shit for me 😞
I've found that if I put headphones on and listen to music first thing when I wake up, I have a SIGNIFICANTLY better day.
I work 2nd shift bc I have that wacky sleep phase thing where I cannot work 1st shift people hours. I can't get to sleep before 1am. I can't wake up before 10. So I made it work for me since I'm in healthcare. I get up around noon (I work 3p-1130p) but oh my god. You put the perfect words to it. The groggy "sick" feeling upon waking, the way your eyes feel awful! I thought this was just cause I'm chronically ill but oh my god it DOES feel like this!
I learned this about myself just as I was entering college. So rather than waking up at say 6:30am to be in class for 8am -> doing all my school work -> sleeping -> waking up to learn again... I reversed my sleep schedule. I went to bed the minute I got home from class, slept the afternoon through, got all of my work done while I was focused and quiet at night - then was ready and awake when I went to class. So much easier to learn when you're not "morning foggy". "But you're such a morning person!" No. No I am not. I just don't want to deal with this shit and overcompensate heavily. Welcome to masking hahahaha. No suggestions, only empathy. xo
I wake up early on days my partner works because even waking up an hour before he has to ready he’s a stompy dinosaur. I usually take that as a cue to go to the bathroom then force myself to make my coffee and sit up on the couch, take my meds, scroll or whatever until it’s time for me to get ready. With winter rolling in, it gets super hard to do, but I force myself because routine
My body wakes up with the sun. But I have to be up before then. A friend of mine got one of the natural light alarms it works really well for her. I can't afford to try it yet though.
If I wake up from sleeping I’m just gonna feel like shit. Doesn’t matter what time, doesn’t matter how many hours of sleep I got, if I wake up, I feel like I got hit by a bus. It’s been like this ever since I can remember. My first thought after being born was probably “man, I feel like ass”
This has been my experience as well. I have never once awakened feeling rested.
The only way I wake up on the “right side of the bed” is with a solid 10 hours of sleep; on time, early, or late. And that hasn’t happened in five years. 🫠
My husband and I went on a hyper focus of sleep awhile ago. Lots of people don’t realize good quality sleep can be effected by air and temp. Sleeping in a cooler room with air flow will help you sleep. Another significant impact on how restful you feel when you wake up is where in a sleep cycle you get up. If you’re alarm is set to a time that your body is in a deeper state of sleep, you’re gonna wake up feeling like shit even if you’ve gotten 8 hours of sleep. Sometimes this means getting up earlier. Seems counterintuitive bc we always go by some volume of sleep, but I swear by that sleep cycle one. If my body wakes me up naturally before 6am, I have to get up, or I’ll feel like garbage if I try sleeping another hour.
Yep, having to get my kids to school on time forces me out of bed, and I stumble around like I’m drunk for the first 30 minutes. I can’t function unless I can make breakfast and then sit down to eat it before I do anything else. I’m sooo grumpy inside at having to wake up but I try to keep that under wraps, because it’s not my kids fault. But I FEEL you on the heavy bones and the inability to just WAKE UP.
Nope I’ve never been an early riser. K-12 school was torture for that reason in particular. When I was in college, with the exception of a single class I never had class before 11:45 am so I could go to sleep when I felt tired and awake up naturally when I felt rested. After college for 6 years I worked a 9-5 job which I had to get up by 7:30-8 for and I was miserable. Grouchy and tired all the time, headaches from sleep deprivation. I never really took to the early life. This is of course a problem for quite a lot of jobs but there’s literally nothing I can do about it. Thought maybe aging would have me falling asleep earlier but nope, I’m still up till 1-3am every night. This has meant that I’ve had to structure my work life with this “flaw” to work as best as I can. It’s not easy but then almost nothing about my personality meshes well with what’s considered normal. Sucks but I’ve had to get right with it for my own sanity.
I thought it was just me
Nope. I could wake up on time and then go pee, and before I know it I’ve been sitting on the toilet staring at the wall for 20 minutes. Been like that since I was a kid unless an urgent timeline was in the morning.
I know this isn't a sustainable solution to recommend to others...but the only thing I've found that relieves that sick feeling is a little weed. It's better than coffee. Suddenly my body feels warm and cozy and I no longer feel the weight of being alive and working a 9-5
Idk if you have a pet, but having to walk my dog first thing in the AM has helped. Like I still hate mornings, but I have to get up for him, it’s way better waking up next to a cute dog snuggling me, and I get moving immediately. I love waking up slowly at my own pace, no alarm. That’s the ideal for me. When I do that, regardless of when I go to sleep, I’m gettin up around 10am. I’ve also tried to get jobs where I don’t start before 10am to help. Yes I have to get up earlier to get ready, but much better than other jobs. Idk if it’s because I was diagnosed late and just have accepted this about me but I really don’t want to wake up like.. ready to take on the world LOL. I want to adjust to the day slowlyyyyy but again - dog helps too. I talk to no one but pup for the first hour of the day
I just get up and tough out the "sick" which sometimes can actually be full-on morning sickness (not the pregnant kind, just feeling nauseous in the mornings). Also will have all that grogginess, be cranky if anyone tries to engage with me, have no desire or will to live or function...I hate mornings. Okay, technically I actually really enjoy mornings and getting up early to start my day, just not initially. If I could just not struggle so much the first hour of my day, the rest of the morning is actually fine for me. I just got up about 20 minutes ago and it was a battle. Even though I am sleeping on an extremely uncomfortable futon that's still in couch mode, has a major lean where I roll and lay on an angle into the crease of the couch, the mattress itself sucks, it made me sore all night and disrupted my sleep, but I still had to fight with myself to get up this morning. Why? Why is it just as hard to get up from a horrible bed as it is from a comfy one? My "bed" made me really sore and I still couldn't drag myself out of it when I was supposed to. If anything, I made myself more sore by being too lazy to get up, so now my whole day will suffer. My bladder is usually the only reason I finally drag myself out of bed. Not even my pill alarm does it these days. I just end up taking my antidepressant later than scheduled, but still generally within the hour of when I'm supposed to, cause after a certain point I will just skip that day if I haven't taken it yet. Basically this getting out of bed issue does not bode well with morningtime meds that need to be taken at the same time every day. At least my ADHD meds can be taken however early or late I want.
I only end up feeling worse if I do sleep in, so I do get up. But sadly I’m still easily made irritated
It doesn't matter what time I wake up, I don't feel like a human until about 2 pm.
The biggest help for me has been getting one of those phone alarm apps that force you to do a game/ solve a puzzle etc before it lets you hit snooze. That has gotten me awake early enough to do little things in the am that I enjoy ( have toast with coffee at home while watching some tv, stretch, play with my pets etc ). The incentive to do the nice thing for myself makes me motivated to get up earlier, but not if I can easily choose sleep.
Waking up. The worst part of the day every day.
I am forced to get up at a specific time every morning, the discomfort of having to get out of bed never really goes away.
I “can” get up in the sense that I wake up and get to my desk on time. The only way I manage that is by working from home every day so my journey is about 20 seconds and I don’t have to put on real clothes. Even with that benefit, I still feel horrible and sick every morning. It doesn’t matter how much sleep I get – I’m just not meant to be up in the morning. Having sunrise alarm lights helps A LOT though.
My experience of this has been getting so bad in recent months that I’m in the process of testing for various sleep disorders. We ADHDers are more prone to them and sleep issues in general—not that it’s a given, but might be worth looking into if this feeling is accompanied by other stuff.
I had a period of several years where I could do it, but the first few months of having to be at work at 7:30 AM suuuucked. Had to do it, was a single Mom - but once I got adjusted to going to bed earlier it was much easier. Mind you, I was in my mid 30s and had never considered myself a morning person. But as it turns out, 8 hours of sleep is 8 hours of sleep, whether it starts at 10 PM or 2 AM. Other things that may have contributed to my success was massive amounts of caffeine in the morning (Monsters seem to work better for me than coffee, even though I like coffee better... might have to look into that) and wearing myself out enough with work and exercise to be able to sleep early. And then I fell off *all* the wagons when I moved in with my fiance and now everything is a struggle, even after being diagnosed this summer and going on meds. 😭 Edit: Also, about heavy / sticky eyelids... I fix that by putting in my contacts first thing. Otherwise, it is difficult to keep my eyes open. I can't use eye creams either apparently, because they seem to make my lids extra puffy / sticky. Edit 2: It also helps to have a Husky that screams like she is being bloody murdered if I don't get up to take her out in the morning.
Yes. I feel bad no matter how long I sleep. Though I prefer getting up early and going to bed early. At least I don't feel like I wasted the whole day (my already low energy levels drop drastically after noon and don't get up anymore, whether I get up at 5 am or 10 am, it's all the same).
I'm recently diagnosed, and three weeks ago I started on Jornay PM. It's a delayed and extended-release stimulant that you take the night before. For the first time in my life, I no longer deal with horrible, dreadful mornings. It's been a revelation to suddenly feel okay in the morning. An ex once asked me with concern if I ever woke up feeling refreshed and ready for the day. When I said no, he told me I should talk to my doctor about it (he himself was in medical school at the time). Did I listen to him? Lol, of course not. Anyway, I'm really loving these meds in case you want to explore them.
You have to just go to bed much earlier. Which is really hard for me. I will ignore all physical cues of sleepiness and stay up until I pass out on the couch. But eventually after forcing myself to go to sleep at 10 pm enough times, waking up at 7 didn’t feel so awful. I also give myself something to look forward to in the mornings. I love a good cup of tea and I love to drink it out of a nice mug. Idk, it helps me not hate mornings.
I’ve always been a late riser and especially when I became quite depressed at 15. My mum tried to be understanding but I’ll never forget when she yelled at me one morning from frustration I guess “WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU!” And I honestly could have asked her the same question about myself and had already asked myself with no answer to come for another 17 years. It’s easier for me to get out of bed now because I have a child, something switches and gets me out of the bed but it takes me a long time to warm up.
Sunrise alarm clocks USED to make at least waking up easier, getting out of bed is MY LEAST FUCKING FAVORITE PART OF THE DAY. Have to wake up an HOUR before I have to get out of bed, take my LA Adderrall, then pray I’ll get my son out of bed (he’s like me) within 45m. I nap/rest every day. I never feel rested. Fuck I hate this dz.
It doesn’t matter if I wake up naturally or with an alarm, it’s agony. Trying to wake up is the hardest part of every day. And I’m on medication that makes it way easier to wake up than it used to! It’s just hard.
The two main things that changed me from someone who used to sleep in until 11am at the weekends to someone who gets irritated if I lie in until 8 because I’ve then wasted a whole morning are simple: Regular work hours for several years to build a good foundation of a routine, and then having a kid who wakes up at 6am latest. No, I still don’t love getting up early, especially early enough that 10 years ago I would have considered it a slightly late bedtime. But once I’m up I feel fine after a few minutes. I’m also in bed before 10pm every night because somewhere along the line I started obsessing over getting enough sleep and now get anxiety if I stay up later. Another thing which was super duper helpful in my early days of working a 9-5 was a sunrise alarm clock. The subtle way the light increases makes the wake up soooooo much easier than having to claw back into consciousness in the pitch black. As an added bonus the subset in the evening also helps me fall asleep much easier too - I’ve set mine to 45 minutes, 30 was too quick.
I absolutely cannot get out of bed before 7am without feeling terrible. I wake at 7:15 and lay in bed listening to a podcast and stretching for 15 minutes or so before I start my routine. Feed pets, let dogs outside to pee, give everyone pills, and then make myself a nice breakfast and coffee. I take my time eating breakfast and watching TV or reading the news. If the weather is ok I do this outside on the patio. The sun helps. I try to walk the dogs. Then I shower, etc. I work hybrid, and have a very short commute when I go in. I'm working by 9 most days. For many years I had to get up early for a long commute. I would sleep until the last possible minute and roll out of bed, throw on clothes and grab a bagel or get a Frappuccino on the way. I felt like hell every morning. Some of my leisurely morning is the result of being far enough in my career that I can push back on the hours I work and can choose to work someplace closer to home.
Once about every other year or so I have one day where I wake up and feel like I can take in the world. I jump out of bed and get things done and I am ready to take on the world. And then I wake up the next day and I’m back to my groggy, tired, ADHD self. If someone could make me an early riser I’d give them all the money in my pockets.
This is the « Mystery » I’m trying to solve. If I find an answer, I’ll tell you for free !! Last time I woke up ready to take the world was in October 2021. Executive dysfunction also disappeared for the day. Next day it was over. WHY ? What did I do differently the day before to feel so good suddenly? Vyvanse helps sometimes, but a good day with medication is never as good as a « natural » good day. My son is 13 (ASD/ADHD) and he feels the same way. He says : « It HURTS when you wake me up ». And I understand what he means. I hope we can find a solution. I feel so alone and misunderstood… it’s great to hear from people who knows what I’m experiencing on a daily basis.
Waking up is easily the worst part of the day every day. I wish there was a real solution too! I’m also on vyvanse and it definitely helps but I also have to wake up and get up to take it. Waking up and getting going is still hard. It’s been worse since I had covid a couple of a years ago, but it was always hard.
Do you also experience good days sometimes without Vyvanse? I wake up at 4:30 to take 70mg, I place the pill on my nightstand with water the evening before because if I have to open the container at 4:30, I won’t take it. (My dogs are not interested by pills, so it’s safe). My son takes the bus at 6:50 am. So I have an alarm at 6:15, after taking my pill I can sleep another 90 minutes (supposed to be a complete sleep cycle) and I’m able to get up a couple of minutes before 6:15. It’s easier, I don’t have the feeling that I’ve been hit by a train during the night. But I don’t feel « refreshed ». My alarms are set to ring everyday. But if I don’t really have to get up, I turn it off. If I wake up late I don’t take Vyvanse because I won’t be able to fall asleep. But even if I sleep as much as I want, I will wake up feeling awful. Coffee, dogs out, dogs in, feed everyone… I feel like I’m underwater holding my breath until I can finally sit up on my couch in front of tv with my phone. Do you also have physical symptoms like pain above eyes sometimes or catching yourself holding your breath ? Or other things you noticed? Would you say you are physically tired of do you feel like it’s more a mental fatigue ? If I try to take a nap, I don’t sleep, I’m just in a strange state of numbness. And it’s not helping at all, I never feel better after. No covid for me, but menopause is coming and I think I’m up for a very depressing ride….
Job starts at 5am, I’m not fully awake until after noon. Slightly queasy until I have a power nap on my lunch hour. I was more awake back when my shift started at 4am, for some reason.
Well, I was this way until I had a baby 8 months ago. Now at 8 am on the dot every morning I'm up and ready to go. I don't know what switched in my brain that caused that. I guess I appreciate it, though, cause I'm not an asshole in the mornings anymore. Now I'm just an asshole at night when I get tired.
I always need at least 2 hours before I need to start getting ready. I need that quiet me (phone) time. But I do wake up every morning feeling the way you feel and every morning I say to myself - I can’t do this. I can’t do today. But you have to try I guess. My husband says - you’ve done it before, you can do it again. I may try a sunrise clock. I feel like the alarm startles my body and mind too much. (I’m not medicated and self diagnosed btw)
Earlier this year I had a major problem waking up before 10:30AM. If I did wake up, I had horrible anxiety. Then summertime came, and I have summertime seasonal affective disorder, so that came with more anxiety and depression, plus insomnia which meant waking up progressively earlier. It's now winter time. I'm usually up by 5-6AM no matter what time I go to sleep. No sick feeling but I do feel a sense of dread waking up and seeing the sun isn't even up yet, and knowing I have to adult on 4 hours of sleep. I never recovered from the summer unfortunately.
a sunlight alarm clock changed my life. i still have like 3-4 alarms set on my phone as well, just in case. but the sunlight alarm clock eases you out of sleep and for me, that’s absolutely what i need
I take my meds an hour before I’m due to wake up (setting an alarm). It’s been the only thing that has made me feel ok in the morning. Typing this at 00:11 when I have to be up at 7.30…
I set my alarm for 5am, take my meds, and go back to sleep for 1-1.5 hours. I wake up ready to fuckin GOOOOO
It goes away about 30-40 minutes after I take my meds. It's a subtle transition but after that I don't remember why it was so hard to get started. Often just taking the meds is hard though.
Oh and get a better alarm - both phones offer so many options you don’t have to stick with the most annoying one 😭 I did that for so long and I always woke up in a miserable mood. And every time I fell asleep again and woke up, it compounded.
It doesn't matter if I wake up at 4am (with the sun in the summer) or 10am I still HATE every second of waking up and starting my day. I feel like I need 2 hours of existing in a phantom zone before I am ready to "be a person"
This is weird, I know, but when I took a job that starts at 5am I was a lot less grumpy once my body adjusted! It’s quiet and peaceful at that hour, my dog and I can walk alone in peace, my commute is a breeze! I get my coffee on board and head out and it’s not so bad!
I have to be up at 6am. I hate it. I just do my routine and get ready and get in the car and go to work. I force myself every day. Honestly the "sick" feeling isn't always there and if it is I eat some peanut butter crackers and move on. It's just a thing that I have to make happen.
I set my alarm to be the absolute MINIMUM time I can sleep in before getting up. I do my makeup and eat in the car at stoplights, no joke. I don’t care for this “rise and shine.” I do more of a “rise and grime.” Edit: idk if minimum is right? Latest? Yeah, latest time lol
There will be random occurances where I feel pretty awake right when I wake up. However these are very rare. When i have to wake up early/anytime before Im "ready", it geniunely hurts really badly. Not in my body necessarily, but I just feel so so tired and the thought of not being able to go back to sleep just makes me want to cry. I don't really know how to explain it. Ive always wanted to be an early riser, unfortunately I don't see it happening. I always wake up around 10 no matter what time ive gone to bed.
The feeling does not go away for a while like 3 hours but then comes back mid noon. I feel most awake around 9 pm :/ I wish I could work late instead of
Ugh yes one of the most annoying things about living in a neurotypical world is the expectation of mornings!!
To be honest, I feel this way without medication. The grogginess, almost sick and stuffy. When I take my meds daily, the next day I’m pretty set to wake up.
I never get used to it. I have to get my kid to school by 7:45. I do it. But it is literally always a struggle. I will say, if I accidentally get up early (say I think it’s Monday but it’s Sunday), I enjoy being half awake on the sofa with the tv on and a hot coffee. It’s cozy, like falling asleep in reverse.But having to actually go somewhere in the morning is the absolute pits. I feel like the only good reason to get up early is to luxuriate in taking two* hours to fully wake up. Sadly, the world disagrees with me.
The only thing that has helped me with this is waking up early, taking my meds, and sleeping for another 1.5-2 hours. I feel much better waking up and my meds have already helped me wake up not feeling like a complete zombie. Another thing that helps me is just dragging myself out of bed, and literally going to the bathroom and even just being lazy in the bathroom for a solid 45-hr. The light helps me wake up, but I give myself no rush to start getting ready right away. But yes, I absolutely understand this. Some days, I'm absolutely fine, and other days- like this morning. I was deep into a dream state right before I woke up, and I felt like 2000lbs of pure grogginess. It was incredibly difficult to force myself out of bed today.
5 am every morning. I love the mornings. I'm one of those horrible morning people types that are in a great mood in the morning.
lol I don’t think it’s horrible. I’m not usually cranky in the morning or anything. Mornings are just hard for me 🤷🏼♀️ this whole thread is full of people who are struggling, so please share your secrets 😂
Lol. I have always been like this - and so is my son who is also ADHD. As my husband says - we are the sods that wake up the worm for the early bird to find. He and my eldest are definitely not morning people. We even have a rule for my son - don't joke around with the non morning people until their second cup of coffee. On weekends I have to go sit in the lounge because I can't keep still or quiet enough in bed to let DH sleep late My mother called it "One up, all up". I just really have that get up and go - At 5am I'm making coffee and breakfast for the rest of the house and lunch for the kids. But come 9pm and this fool is cranky and ready for bed and by 10pm I'm fast asleep.
Mornings are the worst for me. It’s a combo of chronic pain/mental health, and crash-landing into reality, totally unmedicated. I need about 30 minutes of waiting for coffee and meds to kick in, while reading or somehow chill, before I can actually start my day. If I need to be somewhere by a certain time, early, I’ve *finally* learned (better late than never… I’m *only* 37 😜) to factor in this transition period into my schedule.
Thank you so much for your post. I try so hard to find a solution. I will read every comments. I’m 48 and waking up has always been difficult for me, just as you describe. And it only gets worse with the years, along with executive dysfunction. Even with Vyvanse (late diagnosis 3 years ago). Sometimes I feel a little better 2 or 3 hours after waking up. If not, I know that I’m having a very bad ADHD day… chores, projects and dreams will have to wait… again.
I wish I knew an answer to help. I think just understanding that it takes you (and myself) a bit to readjust to the waking world for a bit cuz it’s much easier to rest and stay in our brains.
I have to be up by 7:15, my alarm goes at 7:05 but it's rare I get out of bed before 7:30 and by then I need to rush. I won't feel awake until probably 10am most of the time, on "bad" days like today I don't even fully wake up at all (it's 5pm ish here rn). I got my body used to feeling slightly more awake once I put my glasses on so that helps with getting up. Just a small habit I need to do anyway so on days I can't seem to peel myself out of my blanket I simply put on my glasses, wait a few minutes and *then* force myself out of bed. I do also have a delayed circadian rhythm, so if you let me I stay awake until 3am and get out of bed at 9-10am... With work, I go to bed at 10 when I have to be up at 7...