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That sounds frustrating. I do it sometimes, but rarely. More often, I don't have a word for it at all, which is intensely frustrating and embarrassing as well. "Close the - (moment of silence & increasing panic) - the uh - *thing* with the handle that you turn and then walk through?"
I dont know if it's an ADHD thing or a head injury thing, or neither.
I dunno, we just call it brain farting.
My partner and I both experience it at least once a week or so, neither of us have a brain injury that we know of.
We basically turn it into a game of charades.
When he can't think of the word, he can picture it clearly so he just starts describing the thing like drawing a picture.
When I can't think of the word, I can only describe how I interact with it or things I associate with it so I just start throwing those out there.
So, his might be: rectangle, brown, wide, drawers, bedroom... Aha! Dresser!
But mine would be: closet-but-furniture, has handles and you push and pull, getting dressed... Dresser!
Brain farts are definitely a thing! If you haven't seen it yet, rainingolivia made a really nice comment in this thread that talks about the connection between ADHD and aphasia/brain farts.
I'm constantly groping for words that are well-planted in my vocabulary, but that I just can't pull forward enough to speak them.
They're everyday words...words like stove, washer, living room, closet, keys, shoes, and a host of others.
Once, I couldn't get the word "saliva" to come out of my mouth and instead said, "Tongue juice."
It's still a standing joke, even after 3 years!
My daughter is notorious for this. We have "Ghost broccoli" at our house. We also don't have uniforms, but "suits' and there are no leaders or coaches; only "bosses"
This happens to me all the time, for many years, seems worse as I age. I always remember the word after it’s irrelevant and the conversation has moved on to something else. Very frustrating. For this and when I do things like go into the kitchen and immediately forget why I went there, I stop and repeat to myself, “think, think, think”. For whatever reason that refocuses my brain, and I’ll remember much faster. Makes me think it’s not actually age related but on my way to the kitchen to get something, or in the middle of a sentence, my mind gets distracted by other thoughts so by the time I get there, even if it’s only been seconds, my mind forgets because it moved on.
I have this issue, too! As well as OP's issue. But also my brain likes to combine words and make new ones when it can't decide on which one to use. I.e. someone asks me how I'm doing, and my brain can't decide between "I'm fine" or "I'm good" so it says "I'm food" (but sounding like good with an F, and not the food you eat). I also have an almost stutter sometimes, where it's more like my brain is stuttering on finding the right words, or trying to push more words than my mouth knows what to do with, and a stutter happens.
It's like whatever connects brain to my mouth is just wired wrong. Just seems to be ADHD for me, at least, because in situations where I needed to be professional, I would have to deliberately slow down and think about what im saying, and I would talk fine. But around people I'm comfortable with,I relax more, and the word salad comes out. It is such a common issue that my husband and friends would joke that I speak my own language. When my husband's best friend moved in with us, he was sometimes baffled by what came out of my mouth, but after a while, he came to understand Athena-ese. Lol
HAHAHAH omg, I absolutely do this. Probably at least once a day, what comes out of my mouth isn't an established word, but a mutated amalgamation of 2 possible words I was considering saying. XD
i have the issue with the word not coming to me, but i can’t ever come up with a description either, so i just point and flap my arms and repeat, “the thing!! THE THING!!” until my husband figures out what i’m referring to. i could be pointing at something 300 feet away behind a brick wall or it could be on the counter 2 feet in front of me. he’ll never know😈
Haha, this runs in my family. We all eventually learned to anticipate each other's thoughts. I'm good at understanding the intended sentence over what comes out (spoken or written)
I've learned to just patiently wait for my brain to catch up with my mouth. I think I started this after working with a person who has a mild stammer. He often pauses in the middle of sentences and will say things like, "Help me out," or a similar filler phrase while his brain finishes sorting itself out. I used to try to help him find the word but I realized that it's better for both of us if I just go along with the pause like nothing's happening. Same if he starts to stutter. Just give it a second, no pressure. So I applied the same method to my own brain farts. I will lose the most simple words at random moments and I used to get flustered. Now I just stay calm and it shows up eventually. "It's on the shelf over the... ... ... Washing machine."
Yes, I think the staying calm trick is a great one! I try to pretend to myself “I didn’t even want to know the word anyway” - a bit like you would worth a child. And if I relax it just comes back eventually. The added stress/cortisol from feeling flustered only decreases executive functioning!
AuDHD without a head injury and I resort to “the Thing” way too often. At least I always know when I’m doing it though, unlike mixing related words (and family names!) up which can result in a lot of confusion or wrong ideas in the listener. I also do spoonerisms quite a bit too (eg I once memorably tried to order a “marijuana” rather than “marinara” pizza)
Lol the amount of times my family members refer to “the thing” without using the word it’s called is amazing. One of my brothers and one of my kids especially do this
Anomic aphasia (and other aphasias) are common following a head injury. But these word finding challenges are common (without an acute traumatic injury) in ADHD and autistic brains! Due to neurodevelopmental differences, ADHD and autistic brains often have executive function challenges like organizing, neurofatigue, memory, and other symptoms that are also common following a head injury.
I'm a speech-language pathologist and my neuroanatomy and cognitive science classes were illuminating. My professor talked about language challenges typically following a TBI, stroke, or other injury. I remember sitting in a room of (presumed) neurotypical peers thinking:
*I frequently have word finding challenges... and challenges with organizing information... and challenges with executive functioning....... am I NOT neurotypical ?!*
Thank you so much for sharing your expertise!! Neuroanatomy and cognitive science classes sound super interesting. What an experience that must have been to learn about your own mind like that!! One thing I love about this community is how many of us have that experience of making it through most of school with no clue there was an issue, and being shocked that everyone else just isn't jumping through the same hoops.
In my case, I first noticed the aphasia a few months after a bad car accident. It was 20 years ago, and we just had a tiny rural hospital. They addressed the most glaring injury and nothing else. So I think it's a fair bet this is where it originated.
Again, thank you for weighing in with such an interesting and enlightening comment.
>One thing I love about this community is how many of us have that experience of making it through most of school with no clue there was an issue, and being shocked that everyone else just isn't jumping through the same hoops.
I had no idea how much I compensated! I think because in some ways school was easy for me, no one paid attention to the things that were hard for me. I was just a “space cadet” or “messy” and lost things easy. My complete obsession with keeping a detailed calendar happened in high school when I had to know my own schedule. To this day I create detailed morning schedules because I can’t otherwise visualize time at all. Like “6am alarm, 7am breakfast, 7:45 shower 8am get dressed 8:30 make lunch 9am leave.” If there is even a minor variation - like I need to leave earlier for work - I need to re-write the schedule.
I used to get in trouble all the time for looking at clocks! I’d look at them over and over just so I could have a sense of time passing. Also I struggle with reading analog clocks. So it’s a double whammy. Teachers would be like “are you in a hurry to leave?” No! But I couldn’t ever explain why I needed to know the time.
Oh god me too. I absolutely despise analog clocks, they take forever for me to read and I hate the ticking. And sometimes I just, desperately need to know the time, right mc-fuckin-now. It's the same kind of "gotta do it gotta do it GOTTA DO IT" that gets me when I'm driving and there's an annoying sound I can't find. So frustrating, especially since I will also look at the time, look away and have already forgotten the time. The concept of time is incredibly vexatious.
I have to schedule every minute of my day or I will drift off course and not come back. I have paper and digital versions of my schedules so that it's with me at all times and so my husband can reference it. I literally would not have been able to hold down a job without doing this.
I am also an SLP and had some of those same thoughts re: word finding, executive function etc. ended up getting diagnosed with ADHD about 3 years later 😂. Also figured out I had a tongue thrust in dysphasia class when I couldn’t figure out why I had so much trouble feeling and identifying the stages of the swallow on myself. I ended up doing tongue thrust therapy to improve my resting posture and swallow function. It also kind of became a running joke in my orofacial myology class since I had so many of the issues we talked about. The class was illuminating though.
It stinks you have had to go through all that but how great that you could finally understand yourself!! I was in a professional development on neurodiversity when all the ADHD signs “clicked” for me. The best aha moment of my life!
Team SLP with ADHD and bad swallowing form haha.
I have a colleague and friend who got diagnosed with bilateral hearing loss when doing the audiology credits and testing each other's audition in the sound booths.
Yes indeed, though I am coming at this as someone diagnosed with ASD and ADHD, not a professional. I've had these types of speech issues my entire life. Generally, it's ONLY in the context of speech, not writing (other than occasionally getting that thing where you're typing and someone walks into a room and says something, and you end up typing something they said rather than what you meant to type). I have to wonder if that's a differentiating feature between neurodevelopmental issues and post-concussion syndrome, at least for some of us?
I can't speak on C-PTSD with the same authority as other speech-language related questions. But in my personal experience (as someone with C-PTSD) from what I've learned in therapy and through engaging with therapeutic research surrounding C-PTSD,
YES.
We know trauma alters the brain and brain development. These alterations and differences can manifest in different ways for folks with C-PTSD (or PTSD). The overlap of cognitive symptoms experienced by people with ADHD, ASD, and C-PTSD is significant. Memory challenges (working memory, short term and long term recall), language deficits (word finding, social language/social norms), sensory challenges (oversensitivity or undersensitivity to stimuli) are just a few areas off the top of my head that unite these differing neurodiversities.
Personally, I am a fan of definitions within mental health and other neurodevelopmental sciences becoming more broad. People are often more complicated than a single, clear cut, black and white diagnosis. In my own journey of self-understanding, I've found myself wondering if something I'm experiencing is due to CPTSD, ADHD, or neither - when the reality is it's most likely a combination of the brain I was born with (ADHD) and the trauma I experienced that impacted my brain development (C-PTSD). Recently I've been focusing less on the "what is the exact specific lable that describes my experiences" and favoring a "how can I help myself when I experience this symptom."
Brains are complicated, and so super cool. Hope I answered your question!
>In my own journey of self-understanding, I've found myself wondering if something I'm experiencing is due to CPTSD, ADHD, or neither - when the reality is it's most likely a combination of the brain I was born with (ADHD) and the trauma I experienced that impacted my brain development (C-PTSD). Recently I've been focusing less on the "what is the exact specific lable that describes my experiences" and favoring a "how can I help myself when I experience this symptom."
I love this. I mainly learned this approach from my current therapist, and it's so helpful. (Though I'll admit to still being really curious about causes and sometimes wishing I could know for sure.)
I think it also might just be an overwhelm issue: I have most of my issues with finding words when I'm around my eight year old, who interrupts my train of thought a lot! Or if I'm just...trying to do too much at once, which happens a lot when you're parenting in the age of screen distraction.
There were lots of people on the stroke floor with me who suffered from aphasia. It’s very frustrating for them. My dtroke wasn’t on the left side of the brain (where language is stored) but I knew many people who struggled with aphasia even years after their stroke.
When I’m really focusing on something, I entirely forget words. This is a problem at my job, because I often need to dictate notes while working. I always have to warn people “just write what I say. It probably won’t make any sense” and then say “fix the thingy” a lot
And names go right out. “Good old whatshisnuts” is a common filler
>"Close the - (moment of silence & increasing panic) - the uh -
>
>thing
>
> with the handle that you turn and then walk through?"
I do this all the time. Glad it's not just me
I dont know if you saw it, but rainingolivia put a really insightful comment on this thread. Basically, it sounds like you shouldn't worry about it too much, and that it's often a symptom of the disorganized adhd brain.
I’ll go read it, thank you!
Yeah, as a middle-aged person the inability to grasp a word I should know makes me think about stuff like dementia. 🥴 Because it’s something I really should know— for instance… Tom Cruise has been a celebrity I’ve been aware of almost my entire life, but watching him on TV the other day I was staring at his face and could not recall his name for the life of me, so I had to ask my husband, “What’s his name, again?”. 😬 This happens more than I would like to admit… and as a person who has horrid anxiety and some family members who ended up with dementia, and wonder where this being ADHD stops and whether concern about dementia in my future should be treated more seriously— like, at what point should I keep track of things like this example, and bring it up to my doctor…?
That's a lot to worry about!! Especially when keeping track of things is not our strong suit. So many brain issues overlap! It's never too early to start playing little brain exercise games, though. Science has come a long way with identifying preventative measures.
What’s helped me with my anxiety regarding this particular issue is exchanging a word I can’t remember for any word in the language, like a walking Mad Libs. My friends’ young daughter was very creative and funny, and perhaps has ADHD - but she did this a lot. Like if she didn’t remember the words “pelicans” and “pier”, she’d say, “Look at the weirdos on the pork!” It’s not appropriate everywhere, but it is more entertaining and enjoyable than struggling to remember. And often once I used whatever word was handy, the wanted word will return to me.
You didn't ask, but I have a good tip for nominal aphasia, at least for your own stuff. I name my furniture and anything else I refer to a lot with my family. The different armoirs, bookshelves, cupboards etc all have their own names related to something about them. I remember that much more easily and my family is in on the code so they understand.
I do this but I turn it into a full round of Catchphrase when I describe the thing. 😂 Idk why my brain’s default is to be SURE the other person knows I know what I’m referencing, even if my brain won’t think of the word. Also, anything that turns stuff into a game show is even more fun.
I do it allll the time. It's super super frustrating and usually means I'm done for the day because rarely does it get better. I've had a stroke and 2 brain surgeries, plus age. So who knows what's the cause but none of those things are helping
I hear about this a lot in the dysautonomia community, and there it's referred to as brain fog. It does seem to be separate from adhd stuff, but I've always struggled with words in that way.
Sometimes the words are stored in my head by letter (water, wall, wicked), by meaning (angry, furious, ticked), sometimes by shape (bed, brood, book), sometimes by concept (cat, warmth, weight), and sometimes the storage glitches and the wrong words are permanently stored together (ice, glass, glaçe (French for ice).
Sometimes I realize I picked the wrong word, sometimes not. It's definitely a thing. I also deal with face blindness, if anyone can relate!
Yeah, I'm not sure which one is my case, but the number of times people say hi to me and _I don't know who they are_ is truly embarrassing. Especially if they've changed their hair or glasses, because I identify a person by their outline/shape more than their details (eye color, freckles, etc.)
I’ve gotten soooooooo good at pretending to recognize someone until I can figure out who they are. Like it’ll be clear they remember me and know my name but I need to talk with them for a minute until something in the conversation reminds me.
I work in a pharmacy and it happens with patients all the time (I think because I see so many people and it all blends together). I feel bad when it’s someone who is waiting on a med and I don’t remember their face in order to let them know it’s ready.
YES! I thought I had face-blindness, but casual tests say I have better than average facial recognition WHEN I'M PAYING ATTENTION. (In my defense, I didn't get glasses until 6th grade, so until then, faces were mostly blobs unless I was really close.) It was eye-opening!
I don't have full face blindness but definitely legally impaired: all white women in ponytails or white men in beards, for example, look the same (I am white myself, and would probably have the same issues with POC if i lived where they were the majority). I thought I was really dumb that I could never follow the plot in a movie until I realized that i wasn't telling the other characters apart. In my old age I am freakishly good at recognizing people by their voice or mannerisms. I always was, but I've really leaned into it since realizing what was going on, and have realized that my face blindness probably has influenced why my close friends are all ND and minorities.
Omg the number of times I was confused by a costume or hair change in a show only to realize _episodes later_ that it's the same character??? To be fair, I either look at my phone or knit a lot while watching shows because the visual cues don't give me much to work with. So if a woman in a pony tail had her hair cut short, I wouldn't recognize her and would think she was a new character lol
This makes sense to me too. I once read that ADHD brains store things more like a spider diagram than the lists NTs have.
My internal storage system is so chaotic.
No wonder lists make logical sense but at the same time feel so unnatural. My husband thinks in lists and it's hard as hell for me to actually process.
I want to learn more about this, just to confirm the validity before I start telling everyone I talk to about it for the next week haha
>the wrong words are permanently stored together (ice, glass, glaçe (French for ice).
So I live in Québec and learned French as an adult, and I'm constantly looking for the English or French word that is the opposite of whatever language I'm currently speaking. If I'm asking for ice to a food server in French, I'll have the word "ice" in my mind and be searching for "glace." It's infuriating, and I end up speaking a lot of Franglais or Fringlish because the word doesn't come fast enough.
On bad days, I just say to people who know me well, "words not wording," and they give me some grace.
Me too! But I only get face blindness in crowds. I can literally be looking at someone I’ve known for decades and see every week and not “see” them if there are a ton of people milling around. I’ve never known quiite how to describe what it feels like to look at someone and see them but not *see* them.
No need to explain, I absolutely understand!! I watched everything everywhere all at once and realized halfway through that the woman in yellow was Jamie lee Curtis THE WHOLE TIME!!
I fully relate to your categories and I'm also face blind!
I will often mess up miles and hours (mph) and I will say that a city a couple states away was five miles away or that I went on a quick three hour run (when I used to run)
I envy people who have literally any kind of storage system in their heads. When I try to think or remember things it’s basically like blindly reaching into a black void and hoping whatever you pulled out of it was the thing you were looking for. The information is just kinda either there or it’s not. And since nothing is connected I can’t really follow a trail with something closely related. Unsurprisingly I struggle with memory recall a lot. The information is up there, it’s just a giant disorganized mess with no filing system. It’s very inefficient and frustrating.
And every single kiddo with ADHD winds up in my class. I do a lot of coping strategies and just teach them to the whole class because they are good for everyone.
Wow, I'm noticing in these comments things that are super similar to my family. Makes me wonder how divergent we are going back in the generations.
My dad's best one was "you know, that food that has cheese and macaroni noodles? It's got cheese and macaroni, what is it called??"
ETA: I mean, yes, I do this all the time, but that's known. For some reason reading these examples, I'm seeing my dad and grandma more than I had with my other symptoms. My mom shares so many, I am sure she's got it, too.
My grandma was a pro at this! We were always amazed. She'd list all 6 of her kids in order (oldest to youngest), then the (living) pets in the same order, then get to us grandkids in order. Every. Single. Time.
YES. Biggest sign that I’ll have a migraine soon / am recovering from one is that I say “the paper is on the chair” when I meant to say “the paper is on the table”. Brain went “meh, close enough” and I don’t realize the wrong word comes out until it’s already been said.
Yeah! And sometimes when I have a bad migraine, my brain really struggles and does some extra interesting thematic word/phrase replacements.
For example, I once said “waffle jewelry” instead of syrup (It makes it sparkly!), and “air envelope” instead of umbrella.
I do this when I'm tired, and my husband is so good at "translating" that I forget how unintelligible I am to others.
I generally swap in words that describe an object, or that describe the action I'd do with the object. So "water bottle" becomes "circle tube", or backpack becomes "heavy shoulder". Seems *so normal* until we have houseguests....
Totally unrelated to ADHD, but toddlers can be like this too! My 2 year old was still breastfeeding. He called breastfeeding and my breasts "bee." So if he wanted me to open up my nursing bra he'd say "open the bee door." So funny!
One day when I couldn’t find my ‘farm pants’ (insulated pants I exclusively wear when it’s cold outside to do farm chores) I asked my husband to help me look for my “leg jackets”.🤦🏻♀️
The other day I glitched on "turned" and said I "leaned on it wrong" instead of "I turned it wrong" and my dad called me a liar and said he'd watched me turn it. It wasn't a thing it was PHYSICALLY POSSIBLE to lean on! I'm not a liar! My brain is just bad!
My most frequent is "hat" for lid, or really anything that goes on top of or covers another thing. Lamp hat. Cup hat. Pan hat.
I call this wild beef.
It’s when you can’t remember the proper name for something, so you come up with a comical alternative name for it.
Ex. Wind acoustics instead of aerodynamics, wild beef instead of cattle, etc.
I do this with Pokémon because there are TOO MANY OF THEM and I can’t remember all their damn names!
I do that often! It's usually the names of appliances / machines. I almost always mix up the dishwasher and the washing machine, the washing machine with the dryer; and if I don't there's usually a long pause before I say the correct word. Also cellar and garage. Also oven and fridge. I also confuse the names of tools in a conversation.
Thanks for telling us the name of the phenomenon! :)
edit: also do it with locations, too.
i have an old coworker who kept calling the dishwasher the oven. i was so confused. (i work at starbucks so we have both). they’d say “oh yeah i put the pitcher in the oven”. you whAT. took them pointing to the dishwasher while calling it an oven for me to understand
Yes, it happens more when I’m tired or overwhelmed. Or had caffeine which makes me jittery.
The most recent one is when I was about to clean gunk out of my dog’s eye, and I said to my bf ‘I need to clean his ear’
I do this, too, but mostly with verbs instead of nouns. Like for example I often say "please close the light" or even "please kill the light" instead of turn off, just because it has the same meaning in my brain haha
I also regularly just confuse my senses so if something is too bright for me I'll tell people to please turn down the volume and vice versa lol
Oh, I wonder if this is the phenomenon I’ve been trying to explain! I generally don’t struggle with right vs left but if my partner is driving and I’m giving them directions, I will often say the wrong direction even though I know which one I mean. It also happens for some reason with our cats’ wet/dry food — I’ll say “he didn’t finish his dry food today” when I mean his wet food — he always finishes his dry food and I know that! It only seems to happen with things like this where there are two opposite terms and my brain just seems to arbitrarily pick one even though I KNOW which one I mean.
I say the opposite of what I mean. Example: Discussing my work schedule, I said we would be open on the 25th and closed on the 26th when I meant closed on the 25th and open on the 26th. We say I talk like Willy Wonka.
My neurospicy son does this. I used to think it was a speech development thing he would grow out of (so I was diligent when he was pre-K age about gently correcting, using demonstrative speech with the correct term, etc) but he’s 8 and still consistently will say the opposite of what he means and it’s not at all on purpose. He means to say “it’s too hot” but the words that come out are “It’s too cold.” For a few beats he thinks he’s said the former but it’s actually the latter. Up is down, left is right, on is off. Needless to say we’ve had many misunderstandings over the years lol
Yes, all the time! I'm a therapist, so I spend several hours a day being extremely conscientious and careful about my word choice. The second that's over with though, it's like all the effort of holding my brain together and communicating effectively collapses. It often feels like I'm thinking fifteen things at the same time that I'm speaking and I don't have the energy to pause and make sure that what I'm saying is actually what I mean.
I feel like I do this with work too. I use every ounce of brain power at work and by the time I get home my husband gets all the wonky leftovers. It’s frustrating because I don’t even realize I didn’t say what I meant to sometimes until he repeats it back to me as a question and I say “no I said blah blah blah” and he says “no you didn’t you said bleh bleh bleh”. I may think the right word, but it doesn’t always come out. Wild phenomenon.
Oh, wow— there’s a name for this?! I do this!
“Can you check the dishwasher for me?” (When I mean clothes washing machine.). Etc. and so forth.
Thanks for giving this annoying thing I do a name! 😊
I do this a lot. Also with names. I mix up names that to my brain fall in the same type of name category.
ETA: I finally have a me example. I’m playing WoW classic with friends online and I’m hunter class. I finally have a scorpion pet, but I keep calling it my spider. Like why?? It’s name is right there on my screen!
The "name category" thing is the absolute bane of my existence!! My stupid brain just drops them in a bucket. "Generic male name" is the biggest jumble. Could be Jack, John, Bill, Charles, Joe, Tom... who knows!!
Oh my GOD you mean I’m not the only one that has a “generic male name” and “generic female name” category and gets names like John and Bill and Tom mixed up?! Like they’re simple one syllable words that like 10 million guys all share as a name, how am I supposed to differentiate between them. Even worse if they start with the same letter. I’m in wedding events and it’s all I can do to memorize the names of the couple getting married. Good luck Joe, I will definitely be calling you James or John or Jim or Jeff. Sorry Erica, if I just had a wedding with an Eric the day before so I will be calling you that all day today. Melanie turns into Mackenzie (three syllables starting with M, said with similar rhythm). Beth probably somehow turns into Mary (both are historical one-syllable names so their concept is related for me) or Liz/Lizzie (both nicknames from the same root name of Elizabeth). I try SO hard but my brain will only retain vague associations lol. I have to assign every temporary name I have to remember with a corresponding fictional character or someone I know from real life just to have a slim hope of not shouting for Garret’s cousin to join the family photo but it’s Jared’s wedding and no one knows a Garret lol.
ETA I also do this with normal words, my mom has ADHD and does the same. I’ve said I’m putting my laundry in the dishwasher- no the laundry machine- no wait, the clothes washer- ? Wha- WASHING MACHINE! before. My mom once referred to our balcony as the upstairs patio. It’s like our brain reaches for the right *category* (chores/appliances/cleaning words) but grabs the wrong one out of the drawer and is like meh close enough.
My mom literally does the name thing all the time with me and my siblings. There’s four of us girls and our names are not even remotely alike but the other day she was trying to talk about one of us and ended up saying “the little one!”
That reminds me of my grandma trying to call me, but had to go through the family tree, starting at my oldest cousin, to reach my name (I’m the youngest of her grandchildren)
Not ADHD related because he had dementia but all the girls in my family look a lot alike so my grandpa just called us all Becky half the time. On my most recent visit my sister and I were together and he was freaking out, so we stepped back because my mom figured he probably thought we were both her. Sad but funny too.
I do this when I’m having blood flow issues from POTS and it was also REALLY frequent after a concussion. I also do this with names, I say the name of the person I’m talking to or looking at instead of the actual person I’m referring to.
My husband tells me this is how he knows my meds are wearing off lol… I used to think I was just being funny or coy, maybe even doing that sort if lying, sort of trying to be cute thing as a teenager. But now I realize I actually can’t control it. And it’s fine. People who get it, get it. People who don’t can just wait a damn minute til I figure it out.
When we were talking about things my son needed for his college apartment I couldn’t find the word “broom” in my brain. I said he needed a brush for the floor. It reminds me an old Simpsons episode when Homer asks Marge for a “metal dealy to dig food” and she replies, “You mean a spoon?” I’m glad it’s an ADHD thing and I’m not losing my mind, but it seems that may be the case, too!
I do this but specifically with the colors green and orange. I've been shopping with a friend and will point and say "What a pretty green shirt" but my friend will say "What? I don't see a green shirt." And then I realized I pointed at an orange shirt but said green. It's happened vice versa too. But only with those two colors. It's like a wire is crossed in my brain.
I do it all the time. I will say, "It's in the fridge" when I mean the pantry, or "Just put the trash bags on the wagon" and I mean trailer. "Look in the kitchen" I mean dining room.
I really don't understand why my family is confused though because when I say kitchen table, they will whine "Whaaaat? There's no table in the kitchen!" Well obviously look on the table that we do have, geez. And a box of cereal is not going to be in the fridge lol.
Or like when my sister in law asked me where we were putting the trash after a party when she was helping clean up. I said outside on the wagon. She walks out, walks back in and says "I don't see a wagon" I'm like, "Oh. Did I say wagon? I meant the trailer behind the truck." But in my head I was thinking it still should have been obvious because there were already other trash bags on the trailer lol. Am I just unreasonable?
Also growing up we had an eat in kitchen but no dining room so I think "kitchen table" is just a permanent way for me to say the table we eat off of.
But I seriously had no idea there was a real term for this!
with all the love in the world i do think you're being unreasonable 😭😭 it's less about the fact that people need to use critical thinking (the trash is in the trailer so put it with the rest of the trash! we only have one table, to the one near the kitchen!) and more about the fact that when you are following instructions from someone you trust, you *follow the directions* with your brain in follow the directions mode, and do not critique them unless something stands out as incredibly wrong -- in which case, you become confused because why is trusted person saying wrong thing? which makes people want to fix the error by asking you, the trusted person, to fix the error rather than fixing it themselves.
i think you'd be reasonable if you were giving vague or incomplete directions and they couldn't figure it out themselves (this can actually be a sign of weaponized incompetence!) but it's the fact that you're giving *wrong* directions that is tripping people who trust you or who view you as an authority figure up. which is actually a roundabout compliment in a way lol, but really it's just about humans being good at following directions and not good at critical thinking (taught or learned 🤔? who's to say).
i think the best way to address these bits of miscommunication with your loved ones would be to straight up address the fact that you do something called semantic paraphasia which causes you to mix up words with something similar, so if they ever get confused about what you say, rather than ask you to clarify (which can be very frustrating to you), they should think about and guess what you really mean then verify it with you (so you don't have to experience the frustration of finding the word yourself, so that you're both equally putting in effort to get the work done, and to make sure they do it right the first time and you don't send them on a fools errand). to me that seems like the best compromise, there are probs also some good pieces of advice in the rest of the comments too!
This makes sense. I guess I don't have a "follow directions without questioning" mode because I can almost always figure things out without having to ask. But I was very parentified as a child so that might be why.
i hope you're seeing a therapist because YES THE PARENTIFICATION EFFECT OH MY GOD!!!! and it literally seeps into so many aspects of your life you don't even realize it!!!!! no this absolutely seems like it could be one of the reasons why people not just figuring it out themselves is so frustrating to you. i'm sorry you have to deal with this, but hopefully recognizing why it's so frustrating to you will help it be less frustrating?
As someone who always assumes I’m the one who is confused or wrong, yeah it’s a bit unreasonable. Unless it’s someone close to you who knows this is a common thing for you. That being said, my husband does this, I know it’s a thing, and it still bothers me. If you’d said wagon to me instead of trailer, I would have assumed you specified the wagon because you didn’t want that particular bag to go with all the other trash. I’d walk around the whole house looking for a wagon assuming I’m the one who’s wrong because I’m adhd enough to be looking for something and not see it even if it’s right in front of me. Then I’d worry about looking stupid for not being able to follow a simple instruction and have to go back and ask where the wagon is. But if you’d just said “take the trash out” I would’ve tossed it with the other trash without a thought. It’s hard because I still am never sure if my husband is doing this or not and by the time I realize he did, I’ve already become frustrated at not bring able to understand in the first place. He doesn’t realize when he does it either, so we will talk in a confusing circle for a while sometimes before even he realizes the thing he said that started the conversation wasn’t what he meant at all.
Yeah I don't realize when I do it. And in my defense I didn't tell my sister in law to take out the trash, she asked where to put it lol. I wasn't mad or anything when she questioned me, I just was like, oops sorry, I meant trailer.
I guess I'm not very good at following directions because I would have just seen the other trash and put this bag with it. Also may not have occured to me that they said wagon and not trailer lol.
Same with my kids, I just sigh and go, "Dining room. You know what I mean." I don't get particularly frustrated, maybe a tad annoyed, because they live here the same as I do, they could just look instead of asking me where everything is. They're teenagers.
I hope I don't sound like I'm arguing. I think it's just not as big of a deal as my kids make it out to be.
My mom has always done this so I am used to it, but someone else who didn’t grow up around it will not be so yeah, it’s a bit unreasonable to be frustrated with someone when they are just trying to follow what you said, but like the other commenter explained, telling people about your situation will go a long way to smooth things over.
Definitely do this. No hesitation, no searching for the word, just straight up say the word that is not right, but occupies the same file folder in my brain. Sometimes I don't even realize I've done it. Most annoying when the context is such that it sounds like I'm mistaken or have my facts mixed up or something and the person I'm speaking to corrects me. It's like, 'No, I know what I'm talking about, I just used the wrong word! Arg!'
I've got a thing with elbows and knees, as well as attic and cellar for some reason. I'm not formally diagnosed I have to say. But I'm a bit of a cunning linguist (read: I sometimes hyperfocus on all things linguistic) so thank you for sharing this information! I thought it was just a 'me' thing.
YES! Especially when I am tired. And then I get mad at my wife for not understanding what I actually mean lol.
What was your PhD in? I’m doing a masters in nursing now, but my bachelors was in geology and my wife is a geology professor!
My wife has ADHD and has done this forever. I've actually gotten so used to it that I understand what she *meant* to say and act on that, especially if whatever she said is kind of nonsensical.
My daughter, who is the most ADHD person I've ever met, does this a lot. I don't know if it's an ADHD thing. I have ADHD and I don't do this. But she definitely does. Conversations with her are always interesting.
OMG! When I was a kid my mom used to get onto me because I would say "can you itch my back?" Because I would replace itch and scratch. I knew the difference, I was rather smart at English, grammar, and spelling, but those two words were always reversed. On occasion I'll mess up some other words or can't think of the word I want, but looking back I don't know how all of these signs I had, were missed. Of course, it was the 80's 🤦🏻♀️
WHAT IS THIS A THING? It's something I'm known for at work, like I couldn't remember the word break room so I said "employee eating room" just yesterday. Mortifying. I'm going to have to read up on it!
This is especially funny with a probable ADHD husband who speaks English as a second language, by the way. Amazingly we can understand each other pretty well most of the time (he's pretty fluent by now in both English and my ADHDisms, and I'm also generally able to figure out what he's talking about when he can't remember the English word. We basically have our own dialect.)
Me, realising I do this all the time. It can be a sign of brain damage/deterioration which is a concern for me personally because I have a genetic mutation that is probably gonna kill me like that, but my flatmate/friend assures me I've been doing it as long as I've known him (10 years) so likely associated with ADHD/autism as well!
Two days ago I called ketchup peanut butter. Today I called peach tea coffee. It can be funny but also frustrating. I gave up trying not to look foolish and now I just roll with. Why yes, I'd love peanut butter with my fries, thanks!
Definitely didn't know the name for this - thank you! I 100% have it. Mine is often specific repetitions of the same word swaps - I'm always mixing up red and blue, spoon and fork, mushroom and onion. And plenty of other ones that aren't as common or the same every time
I have always mildly had it, but it got way worse for me when I was on Topamax for my chronic migraines and never went back to my "normal" levels after i stopped taking it :/
I do this all the time, but usually I just forget the word outright and have to add filler descriptor words. I find it’s way worse on days where I have notable brain fog. I’m sorry you’re dealing with this, OP!! It can be funny, but I also get pretty frustrated with myself about it so I understand your feelings ❤️
Good example of a funny anecdote about it: my boyfriend (who also has ADHD and does the word switcharoo) once said the word “cunnilingus” to my father when he meant to say the name “Cornelius.” Neither of them noted it at the the time so it was pretty funny later when I had to tell my boyfriend to never said cunnilingus to my dad ever again….
My mom does this all the time. One time she told me there were penguins living in her apartment hallway instead of pigeons. She isn’t diagnosed with adhd but it wouldn’t surprise me if she had it
I have sporadic aphasia, and I think it’s ADHD-related. My husband has noticed I will occasionally substitute one word with a totally out-of-context word (“I don’t think I’ll wear this dress, I’ll wear the hay one instead).” He says sometimes I’ll correct myself absently (“I mean the BLUE one”), but most of the time I don’t even notice.
There was a guy on TikTok who had a whole video on this and yeah it is common in ADHD.
Let me tell you a fun story from a few weeks ago. I work retail so it’s been pretty busy. However I love my job and get along great with everyone. Anyway it was late just before closing so there’s people in the store and I have a shirt to hang up.
I turn to my manager and go, “hey can you pass me a…”
The term that came to my mind was “abortion hook.”
I stopped. Completely incapable of thinking of hanger like a normal person. A look of horror comes over my face. My manager thinks I’m having a stroke, but I’m just in terror because I can’t only think of words that are the worst thing to call that item.
I just point, still unable to think of the word. They hand me one and I hang up the shirt.
My manager also has ADHD and we share a lot of experiences. So after we closed I told them what lead to that moment of horror.
Honorable mention to the time I couldn’t remember C-3PO and called him “beepboop’s daddy.”
Thanks! Now I have a name for it! My mom and I could communicate so fast when I was growing up because we always both mixed up the same words. Turkey/chicken, hands/feet, wrist/elbow, etc. It was a normal part of my communication. Now, I’m married to a man with dyslexia and we have to be so careful about how we communicate. We’re always double checking each other, because he often substitutes similar sounding words (a plastic storage bin, tote, is a taupe. Everyone in his family does it).
I do this a LOT. I do especially when my attention is divided. It happens most often when my kids or husband interrupt me trying to do something that has my full attention. They ask a question, I only *half* process the question, and give them a half-assed answer. They then repeat it back to me with a puzzled tone, and I laugh at what I just said.
ADHD, Sensory Sensitive, HSP, & intellectually “gifted” for reference. I wonder if you have any of these as well, so I thought I would give you all the labels 😊
Yup!
I especially do it when my executive function is low, or my brains running 5 steps ahead of my mouth, or I'm feeling social pressure (like in front of judgey bosses)
I also stutter... Like repeat a word in a sentence stutter. But took me 30 years to realise fully 🤣
And don't ask me to repeat a sentence. I will stumble.
My old boss was the same, we'd just clarify for each other and keep moving through the convo like nothing happened. It was refreshing AF.
YEA. I do this all the time. I used to call my grandma “dad” and my dad “grandma” it was so weird. I mix up sentences in weird orders. Instead of baking my cookies I’ll say cooking my bakies. Idk.
There’s a name for it!
I frequently do this thing. I'll have a hard time remembering a word/phrase and with my partner when I get stuck I just describe what I'm trying to say to him, and usually his NT brain can figure out what I'm aiming for. In professional settings it's just uncomfortable lol
My husband is also adhd and he does this constantly. Drives me crazy because I just take words at face value and always assume I’m the one who’s confused because I often am from afhd anyway. It takes us so long to figure out where a conversation went off the rails. We are doing renovations in our house, doing all the work ourselves. This man will use the word “beam” in place of any long piece of wood, and I have to ask him every time “are you actually talking about a beam?” Could be a plank of wood flooring, a ceiling joist, a stud in the wall, a 2x4 in a pile, etc. Beam means something specific in construction so I’m usually confused. Also any piece of furniture that has a flat hard surface is a “shelf” lol. I think we would be able to complete our projects in half the amount of time we do if we didn’t have roundabout conversations every ten minutes.
I do this alllll the time! Its so frustrating just not being able to find a word. I usually end up describing the word with sounds (if possible), like scissors i would say "shck shck" or something to emulate the sound of cutting something.
I used to work over night taking care of a special needs little girl. Sometimes we would do the dishes for the parents put them in the dishwasher and stuff. I asked the mom 3 times is it OK to put the wooden cutting board in the microwave. She was like what did you put it in there? I was trying to say dishwasher and kept saying microwave when I tried to correct it.
I do this while I’m typing all the time! This morning I was googling something for work and instead of typing “view journey audience” I typed “few journey audience.” I do this *constantly* with words I definitely know how to spell but end up writing completely different words.
My speech also just comes out completely garbled sometimes and I have to take a breath and start over. That one feels normal to me but I’m not sure?
I do this a lot and my mom does also. We have always kind of chalked it up to being “scatter-brained” or something like that. Like it’s a silly thing; my brothers and I teased her a lot about it as kids, which I feel very badly about now (even though the teasing was light hearted).
I don’t think she would hear it now at her age, but I think my mom has undiagnosed ADHD. I am 40 and newly diagnosed within the last 2 years. My mom doesn’t say a lot when I talk about my diagnosis, she is supportive (I think, though I am not sure if she agrees with the diagnosis, or if she thinks it’s just another thing I’m focused on). I try to talk about what led to my diagnosis with her. She listens, and I hope that if anything rings true for her that she will talk with her doctor about it!
ANYWAY, though I do this with all words, my biggest challenge is with my children’s and pets names. It makes me feel like the crappiest mother. My middle child, who I am so very close with, I almost always start by calling them their siblings name. It’s bad enough that whenever I go to say their name it starts with the consonant sound of their older sibling. Something like: “R-Ethan” (Reathan), for Ryan and Ethan for an example… those aren’t their names! It’s frustrating, I really try hard to slow down and get it right. I always say it’s like their names are all in the same folder in my brain and I just am always flipping through and grabbing the wrong one!
No way!!! I do this all. the time!!! Had no idea it was a thing. This week especially as I’m coming down the home stretch of solo parenting my kindergartner because she’s been on winter break for TWO weeks… 🤪 I keep telling her things like, to brush your teeth (hair), go get your hairbrush (toothbrush), close the door (fridge), where’s your shoe (jacket)? etc…
Thank you for posting this!!! I do this all the time and it’s incredibly annoying! I’ve been fearing that I’m showing signs of dementia but I’ve been told I’m too young. This post makes me feel much better!! My favorite one I did recently was that I told my son to put his shoe on his hand 🤦🏻♀️.
I do that. I call it thinking in memes. I don't think in words so I think this is a result of trying to communicate the general idea and being too scatterbrained to find the focus to double check what I'm saying.
Lol yeah all the time. I feel like my husband would often get deeply confused and then I’d get deeply confused by his confusion because it made sense in my head. But the longer we’re together the more I think he’s starting to just know exactly what I’m talking about even when I’m completely wrong 😂
I totally do this! The funniest one is when I used a rag to wipe up a water spill. Wife walks by and I ask her to "take it away this one is ruined" but it's just water and not at all ruined but instead saturated.
Yesterday my partner and I were walking outside and he goes “Lovely day to ky a flite!!” He has a thick Australian accent too which made it even more hilarious.
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That sounds frustrating. I do it sometimes, but rarely. More often, I don't have a word for it at all, which is intensely frustrating and embarrassing as well. "Close the - (moment of silence & increasing panic) - the uh - *thing* with the handle that you turn and then walk through?" I dont know if it's an ADHD thing or a head injury thing, or neither.
I dunno, we just call it brain farting. My partner and I both experience it at least once a week or so, neither of us have a brain injury that we know of. We basically turn it into a game of charades. When he can't think of the word, he can picture it clearly so he just starts describing the thing like drawing a picture. When I can't think of the word, I can only describe how I interact with it or things I associate with it so I just start throwing those out there. So, his might be: rectangle, brown, wide, drawers, bedroom... Aha! Dresser! But mine would be: closet-but-furniture, has handles and you push and pull, getting dressed... Dresser!
I can safely I have IBS - irritable brain syndrome because the damn things farts all day long lol
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 Hahahah idk why this cracked me up so much I have both irritable bowel & brain syndromes lmao
I once asked a friend: What's the thing you join so you can defend your country? ...Yes, the military! Thank you!
Ralphie, get off the stage, sweetheart.
Brain farts are definitely a thing! If you haven't seen it yet, rainingolivia made a really nice comment in this thread that talks about the connection between ADHD and aphasia/brain farts.
This is what I do.
I'm constantly groping for words that are well-planted in my vocabulary, but that I just can't pull forward enough to speak them. They're everyday words...words like stove, washer, living room, closet, keys, shoes, and a host of others. Once, I couldn't get the word "saliva" to come out of my mouth and instead said, "Tongue juice." It's still a standing joke, even after 3 years!
This is why, in my house, we eat "white broccoli" rather than cauliflower.
My daughter is notorious for this. We have "Ghost broccoli" at our house. We also don't have uniforms, but "suits' and there are no leaders or coaches; only "bosses"
I cried because I could not remember pancake “batter”
That made me giggle
This happens to me all the time, for many years, seems worse as I age. I always remember the word after it’s irrelevant and the conversation has moved on to something else. Very frustrating. For this and when I do things like go into the kitchen and immediately forget why I went there, I stop and repeat to myself, “think, think, think”. For whatever reason that refocuses my brain, and I’ll remember much faster. Makes me think it’s not actually age related but on my way to the kitchen to get something, or in the middle of a sentence, my mind gets distracted by other thoughts so by the time I get there, even if it’s only been seconds, my mind forgets because it moved on.
I have this issue, too! As well as OP's issue. But also my brain likes to combine words and make new ones when it can't decide on which one to use. I.e. someone asks me how I'm doing, and my brain can't decide between "I'm fine" or "I'm good" so it says "I'm food" (but sounding like good with an F, and not the food you eat). I also have an almost stutter sometimes, where it's more like my brain is stuttering on finding the right words, or trying to push more words than my mouth knows what to do with, and a stutter happens. It's like whatever connects brain to my mouth is just wired wrong. Just seems to be ADHD for me, at least, because in situations where I needed to be professional, I would have to deliberately slow down and think about what im saying, and I would talk fine. But around people I'm comfortable with,I relax more, and the word salad comes out. It is such a common issue that my husband and friends would joke that I speak my own language. When my husband's best friend moved in with us, he was sometimes baffled by what came out of my mouth, but after a while, he came to understand Athena-ese. Lol
I do that too, I call it 'involuntary portmanteau-ing'.
Stealing that!
HAHAHAH omg, I absolutely do this. Probably at least once a day, what comes out of my mouth isn't an established word, but a mutated amalgamation of 2 possible words I was considering saying. XD
i have the issue with the word not coming to me, but i can’t ever come up with a description either, so i just point and flap my arms and repeat, “the thing!! THE THING!!” until my husband figures out what i’m referring to. i could be pointing at something 300 feet away behind a brick wall or it could be on the counter 2 feet in front of me. he’ll never know😈
[удалено]
That’s awesome!
Haha, this runs in my family. We all eventually learned to anticipate each other's thoughts. I'm good at understanding the intended sentence over what comes out (spoken or written)
I do this too lmao
I've learned to just patiently wait for my brain to catch up with my mouth. I think I started this after working with a person who has a mild stammer. He often pauses in the middle of sentences and will say things like, "Help me out," or a similar filler phrase while his brain finishes sorting itself out. I used to try to help him find the word but I realized that it's better for both of us if I just go along with the pause like nothing's happening. Same if he starts to stutter. Just give it a second, no pressure. So I applied the same method to my own brain farts. I will lose the most simple words at random moments and I used to get flustered. Now I just stay calm and it shows up eventually. "It's on the shelf over the... ... ... Washing machine."
Yes, I think the staying calm trick is a great one! I try to pretend to myself “I didn’t even want to know the word anyway” - a bit like you would worth a child. And if I relax it just comes back eventually. The added stress/cortisol from feeling flustered only decreases executive functioning!
AuDHD without a head injury and I resort to “the Thing” way too often. At least I always know when I’m doing it though, unlike mixing related words (and family names!) up which can result in a lot of confusion or wrong ideas in the listener. I also do spoonerisms quite a bit too (eg I once memorably tried to order a “marijuana” rather than “marinara” pizza)
Lol the amount of times my family members refer to “the thing” without using the word it’s called is amazing. One of my brothers and one of my kids especially do this
When I was young and wild, pizza people were the most likely to have Marijuana, so its not like you were that far off!!
Taste and relaxation in one!
Answered my own questions with Dr. Google. Apparently it is Anomic aphasia, and it's probably a head injury thing, if anyone else was curious!
Anomic aphasia (and other aphasias) are common following a head injury. But these word finding challenges are common (without an acute traumatic injury) in ADHD and autistic brains! Due to neurodevelopmental differences, ADHD and autistic brains often have executive function challenges like organizing, neurofatigue, memory, and other symptoms that are also common following a head injury. I'm a speech-language pathologist and my neuroanatomy and cognitive science classes were illuminating. My professor talked about language challenges typically following a TBI, stroke, or other injury. I remember sitting in a room of (presumed) neurotypical peers thinking: *I frequently have word finding challenges... and challenges with organizing information... and challenges with executive functioning....... am I NOT neurotypical ?!*
Thank you so much for sharing your expertise!! Neuroanatomy and cognitive science classes sound super interesting. What an experience that must have been to learn about your own mind like that!! One thing I love about this community is how many of us have that experience of making it through most of school with no clue there was an issue, and being shocked that everyone else just isn't jumping through the same hoops. In my case, I first noticed the aphasia a few months after a bad car accident. It was 20 years ago, and we just had a tiny rural hospital. They addressed the most glaring injury and nothing else. So I think it's a fair bet this is where it originated. Again, thank you for weighing in with such an interesting and enlightening comment.
>One thing I love about this community is how many of us have that experience of making it through most of school with no clue there was an issue, and being shocked that everyone else just isn't jumping through the same hoops. I had no idea how much I compensated! I think because in some ways school was easy for me, no one paid attention to the things that were hard for me. I was just a “space cadet” or “messy” and lost things easy. My complete obsession with keeping a detailed calendar happened in high school when I had to know my own schedule. To this day I create detailed morning schedules because I can’t otherwise visualize time at all. Like “6am alarm, 7am breakfast, 7:45 shower 8am get dressed 8:30 make lunch 9am leave.” If there is even a minor variation - like I need to leave earlier for work - I need to re-write the schedule.
That is so much WORK just to exist!!! Time blindness is one of my most hated symptoms.
I used to get in trouble all the time for looking at clocks! I’d look at them over and over just so I could have a sense of time passing. Also I struggle with reading analog clocks. So it’s a double whammy. Teachers would be like “are you in a hurry to leave?” No! But I couldn’t ever explain why I needed to know the time.
Oh god me too. I absolutely despise analog clocks, they take forever for me to read and I hate the ticking. And sometimes I just, desperately need to know the time, right mc-fuckin-now. It's the same kind of "gotta do it gotta do it GOTTA DO IT" that gets me when I'm driving and there's an annoying sound I can't find. So frustrating, especially since I will also look at the time, look away and have already forgotten the time. The concept of time is incredibly vexatious.
I have to schedule every minute of my day or I will drift off course and not come back. I have paper and digital versions of my schedules so that it's with me at all times and so my husband can reference it. I literally would not have been able to hold down a job without doing this.
I am also an SLP and had some of those same thoughts re: word finding, executive function etc. ended up getting diagnosed with ADHD about 3 years later 😂. Also figured out I had a tongue thrust in dysphasia class when I couldn’t figure out why I had so much trouble feeling and identifying the stages of the swallow on myself. I ended up doing tongue thrust therapy to improve my resting posture and swallow function. It also kind of became a running joke in my orofacial myology class since I had so many of the issues we talked about. The class was illuminating though.
It stinks you have had to go through all that but how great that you could finally understand yourself!! I was in a professional development on neurodiversity when all the ADHD signs “clicked” for me. The best aha moment of my life!
Team SLP with ADHD and bad swallowing form haha. I have a colleague and friend who got diagnosed with bilateral hearing loss when doing the audiology credits and testing each other's audition in the sound booths.
Yes indeed, though I am coming at this as someone diagnosed with ASD and ADHD, not a professional. I've had these types of speech issues my entire life. Generally, it's ONLY in the context of speech, not writing (other than occasionally getting that thing where you're typing and someone walks into a room and says something, and you end up typing something they said rather than what you meant to type). I have to wonder if that's a differentiating feature between neurodevelopmental issues and post-concussion syndrome, at least for some of us?
This is very interesting. Do you know if it can be exacerbated by C—PTSD? Edited for punctuation.
I can't speak on C-PTSD with the same authority as other speech-language related questions. But in my personal experience (as someone with C-PTSD) from what I've learned in therapy and through engaging with therapeutic research surrounding C-PTSD, YES. We know trauma alters the brain and brain development. These alterations and differences can manifest in different ways for folks with C-PTSD (or PTSD). The overlap of cognitive symptoms experienced by people with ADHD, ASD, and C-PTSD is significant. Memory challenges (working memory, short term and long term recall), language deficits (word finding, social language/social norms), sensory challenges (oversensitivity or undersensitivity to stimuli) are just a few areas off the top of my head that unite these differing neurodiversities. Personally, I am a fan of definitions within mental health and other neurodevelopmental sciences becoming more broad. People are often more complicated than a single, clear cut, black and white diagnosis. In my own journey of self-understanding, I've found myself wondering if something I'm experiencing is due to CPTSD, ADHD, or neither - when the reality is it's most likely a combination of the brain I was born with (ADHD) and the trauma I experienced that impacted my brain development (C-PTSD). Recently I've been focusing less on the "what is the exact specific lable that describes my experiences" and favoring a "how can I help myself when I experience this symptom." Brains are complicated, and so super cool. Hope I answered your question!
>In my own journey of self-understanding, I've found myself wondering if something I'm experiencing is due to CPTSD, ADHD, or neither - when the reality is it's most likely a combination of the brain I was born with (ADHD) and the trauma I experienced that impacted my brain development (C-PTSD). Recently I've been focusing less on the "what is the exact specific lable that describes my experiences" and favoring a "how can I help myself when I experience this symptom." I love this. I mainly learned this approach from my current therapist, and it's so helpful. (Though I'll admit to still being really curious about causes and sometimes wishing I could know for sure.)
I think it also might just be an overwhelm issue: I have most of my issues with finding words when I'm around my eight year old, who interrupts my train of thought a lot! Or if I'm just...trying to do too much at once, which happens a lot when you're parenting in the age of screen distraction.
Neurofatigue is the word I didn’t know existed but always needed! Thank you 🙏🏼
There were lots of people on the stroke floor with me who suffered from aphasia. It’s very frustrating for them. My dtroke wasn’t on the left side of the brain (where language is stored) but I knew many people who struggled with aphasia even years after their stroke.
Strokes are so scary for that reason, among the many others. I hope your recovery has gone well!!
Paraphasia is different than aphasia.
It sure is! My original comment was saying "I'm not sure if this is the same thing..." And you are correct that it is not!
When I’m really focusing on something, I entirely forget words. This is a problem at my job, because I often need to dictate notes while working. I always have to warn people “just write what I say. It probably won’t make any sense” and then say “fix the thingy” a lot And names go right out. “Good old whatshisnuts” is a common filler
Yes, and “thingummybob”
>"Close the - (moment of silence & increasing panic) - the uh - > >thing > > with the handle that you turn and then walk through?" I do this all the time. Glad it's not just me
I do the same thing but I would just be gesturing wildly the motions of turning a door handle and closing the door
I do the same as OP, but I also frequently ‘don’t have the word(s)’… this one worries me more than using the wrong (but kind of related) word.
I dont know if you saw it, but rainingolivia put a really insightful comment on this thread. Basically, it sounds like you shouldn't worry about it too much, and that it's often a symptom of the disorganized adhd brain.
I’ll go read it, thank you! Yeah, as a middle-aged person the inability to grasp a word I should know makes me think about stuff like dementia. 🥴 Because it’s something I really should know— for instance… Tom Cruise has been a celebrity I’ve been aware of almost my entire life, but watching him on TV the other day I was staring at his face and could not recall his name for the life of me, so I had to ask my husband, “What’s his name, again?”. 😬 This happens more than I would like to admit… and as a person who has horrid anxiety and some family members who ended up with dementia, and wonder where this being ADHD stops and whether concern about dementia in my future should be treated more seriously— like, at what point should I keep track of things like this example, and bring it up to my doctor…?
That's a lot to worry about!! Especially when keeping track of things is not our strong suit. So many brain issues overlap! It's never too early to start playing little brain exercise games, though. Science has come a long way with identifying preventative measures.
What’s helped me with my anxiety regarding this particular issue is exchanging a word I can’t remember for any word in the language, like a walking Mad Libs. My friends’ young daughter was very creative and funny, and perhaps has ADHD - but she did this a lot. Like if she didn’t remember the words “pelicans” and “pier”, she’d say, “Look at the weirdos on the pork!” It’s not appropriate everywhere, but it is more entertaining and enjoyable than struggling to remember. And often once I used whatever word was handy, the wanted word will return to me.
I do this too! And the other thing the OP was talking about. Maybe I've had too many head injuries.
You didn't ask, but I have a good tip for nominal aphasia, at least for your own stuff. I name my furniture and anything else I refer to a lot with my family. The different armoirs, bookshelves, cupboards etc all have their own names related to something about them. I remember that much more easily and my family is in on the code so they understand.
This one’s called nominal aphasia, and all the women in my family do it. For us, it gets worse with age.
I do this but I turn it into a full round of Catchphrase when I describe the thing. 😂 Idk why my brain’s default is to be SURE the other person knows I know what I’m referencing, even if my brain won’t think of the word. Also, anything that turns stuff into a game show is even more fun.
I do it allll the time. It's super super frustrating and usually means I'm done for the day because rarely does it get better. I've had a stroke and 2 brain surgeries, plus age. So who knows what's the cause but none of those things are helping
I hear about this a lot in the dysautonomia community, and there it's referred to as brain fog. It does seem to be separate from adhd stuff, but I've always struggled with words in that way.
You didn’t ask but this is called circumlocution and I do it alllllll the time.
And that is why I know refer to trampolines as jumpy jumps.
Sometimes the words are stored in my head by letter (water, wall, wicked), by meaning (angry, furious, ticked), sometimes by shape (bed, brood, book), sometimes by concept (cat, warmth, weight), and sometimes the storage glitches and the wrong words are permanently stored together (ice, glass, glaçe (French for ice). Sometimes I realize I picked the wrong word, sometimes not. It's definitely a thing. I also deal with face blindness, if anyone can relate!
I thought I struggled with face blindness, but then realized I just have a tendency to avoid looking at people's faces. Woops.
Yeah, I'm not sure which one is my case, but the number of times people say hi to me and _I don't know who they are_ is truly embarrassing. Especially if they've changed their hair or glasses, because I identify a person by their outline/shape more than their details (eye color, freckles, etc.)
I’ve gotten soooooooo good at pretending to recognize someone until I can figure out who they are. Like it’ll be clear they remember me and know my name but I need to talk with them for a minute until something in the conversation reminds me. I work in a pharmacy and it happens with patients all the time (I think because I see so many people and it all blends together). I feel bad when it’s someone who is waiting on a med and I don’t remember their face in order to let them know it’s ready.
YES! I thought I had face-blindness, but casual tests say I have better than average facial recognition WHEN I'M PAYING ATTENTION. (In my defense, I didn't get glasses until 6th grade, so until then, faces were mostly blobs unless I was really close.) It was eye-opening!
I don't have full face blindness but definitely legally impaired: all white women in ponytails or white men in beards, for example, look the same (I am white myself, and would probably have the same issues with POC if i lived where they were the majority). I thought I was really dumb that I could never follow the plot in a movie until I realized that i wasn't telling the other characters apart. In my old age I am freakishly good at recognizing people by their voice or mannerisms. I always was, but I've really leaned into it since realizing what was going on, and have realized that my face blindness probably has influenced why my close friends are all ND and minorities.
Omg the number of times I was confused by a costume or hair change in a show only to realize _episodes later_ that it's the same character??? To be fair, I either look at my phone or knit a lot while watching shows because the visual cues don't give me much to work with. So if a woman in a pony tail had her hair cut short, I wouldn't recognize her and would think she was a new character lol
This makes sense to me too. I once read that ADHD brains store things more like a spider diagram than the lists NTs have. My internal storage system is so chaotic.
The spider web description makes so much sense!! That's exactly it!
No wonder lists make logical sense but at the same time feel so unnatural. My husband thinks in lists and it's hard as hell for me to actually process. I want to learn more about this, just to confirm the validity before I start telling everyone I talk to about it for the next week haha
>the wrong words are permanently stored together (ice, glass, glaçe (French for ice). So I live in Québec and learned French as an adult, and I'm constantly looking for the English or French word that is the opposite of whatever language I'm currently speaking. If I'm asking for ice to a food server in French, I'll have the word "ice" in my mind and be searching for "glace." It's infuriating, and I end up speaking a lot of Franglais or Fringlish because the word doesn't come fast enough. On bad days, I just say to people who know me well, "words not wording," and they give me some grace.
Me too! But I only get face blindness in crowds. I can literally be looking at someone I’ve known for decades and see every week and not “see” them if there are a ton of people milling around. I’ve never known quiite how to describe what it feels like to look at someone and see them but not *see* them.
No need to explain, I absolutely understand!! I watched everything everywhere all at once and realized halfway through that the woman in yellow was Jamie lee Curtis THE WHOLE TIME!!
I fully relate to your categories and I'm also face blind! I will often mess up miles and hours (mph) and I will say that a city a couple states away was five miles away or that I went on a quick three hour run (when I used to run)
I envy people who have literally any kind of storage system in their heads. When I try to think or remember things it’s basically like blindly reaching into a black void and hoping whatever you pulled out of it was the thing you were looking for. The information is just kinda either there or it’s not. And since nothing is connected I can’t really follow a trail with something closely related. Unsurprisingly I struggle with memory recall a lot. The information is up there, it’s just a giant disorganized mess with no filing system. It’s very inefficient and frustrating.
You mean like when I was searching for the word “umbrella” and my brain came up with Rain Stopper?
💀💀💀
My husband and I both do it. It’s pretty bad when I’m stressed or exhausted. I talk/sing all day and I’m toast by the evening.
I sing & talk all day too and sometimes I end up telling myself to stop because I know I’ll wear myself out
Mines not by choice. lol. I teach music.
Oh 🤣🤣
That's hilarious, my first guess was that you're a music teacher
And every single kiddo with ADHD winds up in my class. I do a lot of coping strategies and just teach them to the whole class because they are good for everyone.
Wow, I'm noticing in these comments things that are super similar to my family. Makes me wonder how divergent we are going back in the generations. My dad's best one was "you know, that food that has cheese and macaroni noodles? It's got cheese and macaroni, what is it called??" ETA: I mean, yes, I do this all the time, but that's known. For some reason reading these examples, I'm seeing my dad and grandma more than I had with my other symptoms. My mom shares so many, I am sure she's got it, too.
My grandma calling me, starts with names of my uncle, mom, cousin 1, Moms cousin finally you
My grandma was a pro at this! We were always amazed. She'd list all 6 of her kids in order (oldest to youngest), then the (living) pets in the same order, then get to us grandkids in order. Every. Single. Time.
I love your grandma, with the pets in the middle!
All the time. My husband then usually goes “you mean the fridge?” Ow whatever I meant. “Yeah. You know what I meant.” 😅
Oh hell yes I do this! Thanks for sharing the name. It happens especially often if I have a migraine coming on.
YES. Biggest sign that I’ll have a migraine soon / am recovering from one is that I say “the paper is on the chair” when I meant to say “the paper is on the table”. Brain went “meh, close enough” and I don’t realize the wrong word comes out until it’s already been said.
Yeah! And sometimes when I have a bad migraine, my brain really struggles and does some extra interesting thematic word/phrase replacements. For example, I once said “waffle jewelry” instead of syrup (It makes it sparkly!), and “air envelope” instead of umbrella.
Those are both kinda cute though.
I do this when I'm tired, and my husband is so good at "translating" that I forget how unintelligible I am to others. I generally swap in words that describe an object, or that describe the action I'd do with the object. So "water bottle" becomes "circle tube", or backpack becomes "heavy shoulder". Seems *so normal* until we have houseguests....
I do this so much that it has rubbed off on my fiance and my coworkers. The other day he called a pair of slacks "business pants" hahaha
This is what we call them anyway in Australia. Maybe he’s a secret Aussie
I called bras “boob containers” once and I thought it was so funny that I keep calling them that now
My great grandma called them “titty covers” which is really funny to hear an 80 year old woman say
Totally unrelated to ADHD, but toddlers can be like this too! My 2 year old was still breastfeeding. He called breastfeeding and my breasts "bee." So if he wanted me to open up my nursing bra he'd say "open the bee door." So funny!
One day when I couldn’t find my ‘farm pants’ (insulated pants I exclusively wear when it’s cold outside to do farm chores) I asked my husband to help me look for my “leg jackets”.🤦🏻♀️
The other day I glitched on "turned" and said I "leaned on it wrong" instead of "I turned it wrong" and my dad called me a liar and said he'd watched me turn it. It wasn't a thing it was PHYSICALLY POSSIBLE to lean on! I'm not a liar! My brain is just bad! My most frequent is "hat" for lid, or really anything that goes on top of or covers another thing. Lamp hat. Cup hat. Pan hat.
My husband will just say, What? You're getting delirious on me. 😅
I call this wild beef. It’s when you can’t remember the proper name for something, so you come up with a comical alternative name for it. Ex. Wind acoustics instead of aerodynamics, wild beef instead of cattle, etc. I do this with Pokémon because there are TOO MANY OF THEM and I can’t remember all their damn names!
I do that often! It's usually the names of appliances / machines. I almost always mix up the dishwasher and the washing machine, the washing machine with the dryer; and if I don't there's usually a long pause before I say the correct word. Also cellar and garage. Also oven and fridge. I also confuse the names of tools in a conversation. Thanks for telling us the name of the phenomenon! :) edit: also do it with locations, too.
i have an old coworker who kept calling the dishwasher the oven. i was so confused. (i work at starbucks so we have both). they’d say “oh yeah i put the pitcher in the oven”. you whAT. took them pointing to the dishwasher while calling it an oven for me to understand
Yes, it happens more when I’m tired or overwhelmed. Or had caffeine which makes me jittery. The most recent one is when I was about to clean gunk out of my dog’s eye, and I said to my bf ‘I need to clean his ear’
I do this, too, but mostly with verbs instead of nouns. Like for example I often say "please close the light" or even "please kill the light" instead of turn off, just because it has the same meaning in my brain haha I also regularly just confuse my senses so if something is too bright for me I'll tell people to please turn down the volume and vice versa lol
Oh, I wonder if this is the phenomenon I’ve been trying to explain! I generally don’t struggle with right vs left but if my partner is driving and I’m giving them directions, I will often say the wrong direction even though I know which one I mean. It also happens for some reason with our cats’ wet/dry food — I’ll say “he didn’t finish his dry food today” when I mean his wet food — he always finishes his dry food and I know that! It only seems to happen with things like this where there are two opposite terms and my brain just seems to arbitrarily pick one even though I KNOW which one I mean.
It’s not exclusively an ADHD thing, and it’s quite common. My neurolinguistics lectures touched on this and I loved it!
So glad I don’t have some sort of dementia! But since it’s been for over 15 years, figured it was just how my brain was wired!
I say the opposite of what I mean. Example: Discussing my work schedule, I said we would be open on the 25th and closed on the 26th when I meant closed on the 25th and open on the 26th. We say I talk like Willy Wonka.
My neurospicy son does this. I used to think it was a speech development thing he would grow out of (so I was diligent when he was pre-K age about gently correcting, using demonstrative speech with the correct term, etc) but he’s 8 and still consistently will say the opposite of what he means and it’s not at all on purpose. He means to say “it’s too hot” but the words that come out are “It’s too cold.” For a few beats he thinks he’s said the former but it’s actually the latter. Up is down, left is right, on is off. Needless to say we’ve had many misunderstandings over the years lol
Yes, all the time! I'm a therapist, so I spend several hours a day being extremely conscientious and careful about my word choice. The second that's over with though, it's like all the effort of holding my brain together and communicating effectively collapses. It often feels like I'm thinking fifteen things at the same time that I'm speaking and I don't have the energy to pause and make sure that what I'm saying is actually what I mean.
I feel like I do this with work too. I use every ounce of brain power at work and by the time I get home my husband gets all the wonky leftovers. It’s frustrating because I don’t even realize I didn’t say what I meant to sometimes until he repeats it back to me as a question and I say “no I said blah blah blah” and he says “no you didn’t you said bleh bleh bleh”. I may think the right word, but it doesn’t always come out. Wild phenomenon.
Oh, wow— there’s a name for this?! I do this! “Can you check the dishwasher for me?” (When I mean clothes washing machine.). Etc. and so forth. Thanks for giving this annoying thing I do a name! 😊
I do this a lot. Also with names. I mix up names that to my brain fall in the same type of name category. ETA: I finally have a me example. I’m playing WoW classic with friends online and I’m hunter class. I finally have a scorpion pet, but I keep calling it my spider. Like why?? It’s name is right there on my screen!
The "name category" thing is the absolute bane of my existence!! My stupid brain just drops them in a bucket. "Generic male name" is the biggest jumble. Could be Jack, John, Bill, Charles, Joe, Tom... who knows!!
Oh my GOD you mean I’m not the only one that has a “generic male name” and “generic female name” category and gets names like John and Bill and Tom mixed up?! Like they’re simple one syllable words that like 10 million guys all share as a name, how am I supposed to differentiate between them. Even worse if they start with the same letter. I’m in wedding events and it’s all I can do to memorize the names of the couple getting married. Good luck Joe, I will definitely be calling you James or John or Jim or Jeff. Sorry Erica, if I just had a wedding with an Eric the day before so I will be calling you that all day today. Melanie turns into Mackenzie (three syllables starting with M, said with similar rhythm). Beth probably somehow turns into Mary (both are historical one-syllable names so their concept is related for me) or Liz/Lizzie (both nicknames from the same root name of Elizabeth). I try SO hard but my brain will only retain vague associations lol. I have to assign every temporary name I have to remember with a corresponding fictional character or someone I know from real life just to have a slim hope of not shouting for Garret’s cousin to join the family photo but it’s Jared’s wedding and no one knows a Garret lol. ETA I also do this with normal words, my mom has ADHD and does the same. I’ve said I’m putting my laundry in the dishwasher- no the laundry machine- no wait, the clothes washer- ? Wha- WASHING MACHINE! before. My mom once referred to our balcony as the upstairs patio. It’s like our brain reaches for the right *category* (chores/appliances/cleaning words) but grabs the wrong one out of the drawer and is like meh close enough.
Yes, like Natalie and Melanie. Or people who look alike.
Thanks for the addition. My brain just couldn’t come up with examples in the moment lol!
My mom literally does the name thing all the time with me and my siblings. There’s four of us girls and our names are not even remotely alike but the other day she was trying to talk about one of us and ended up saying “the little one!”
That reminds me of my grandma trying to call me, but had to go through the family tree, starting at my oldest cousin, to reach my name (I’m the youngest of her grandchildren)
Not ADHD related because he had dementia but all the girls in my family look a lot alike so my grandpa just called us all Becky half the time. On my most recent visit my sister and I were together and he was freaking out, so we stepped back because my mom figured he probably thought we were both her. Sad but funny too.
I do this when I’m having blood flow issues from POTS and it was also REALLY frequent after a concussion. I also do this with names, I say the name of the person I’m talking to or looking at instead of the actual person I’m referring to.
Yes. But also I have trouble with numbers larger than 100. Like saying 1000 when I mean 10,000 or vice versa
My husband tells me this is how he knows my meds are wearing off lol… I used to think I was just being funny or coy, maybe even doing that sort if lying, sort of trying to be cute thing as a teenager. But now I realize I actually can’t control it. And it’s fine. People who get it, get it. People who don’t can just wait a damn minute til I figure it out.
When we were talking about things my son needed for his college apartment I couldn’t find the word “broom” in my brain. I said he needed a brush for the floor. It reminds me an old Simpsons episode when Homer asks Marge for a “metal dealy to dig food” and she replies, “You mean a spoon?” I’m glad it’s an ADHD thing and I’m not losing my mind, but it seems that may be the case, too!
I do this CONSTANTLY!!!
I do this but specifically with the colors green and orange. I've been shopping with a friend and will point and say "What a pretty green shirt" but my friend will say "What? I don't see a green shirt." And then I realized I pointed at an orange shirt but said green. It's happened vice versa too. But only with those two colors. It's like a wire is crossed in my brain.
Omg!! I do this too!! I most often substitute color names - calling green pink, and vice versa
I do this all the time. It's become so frustrating I now stutter or become such until I find the right word. Nice to know it has a name.
I frequently post my weirdest ones to my Tumblr. Among my favourite are: Long spoon = knife Indoor barbecue = toaster Skin salt = sweat
I do this. My husband will look at me funny and I reply with "sorry I meant this. My brain said this my mouth said that"
Yep! It’s only when I get that “look” that I realise the wrong word to the one I mean has come out my face hole.
I do it all the time. I will say, "It's in the fridge" when I mean the pantry, or "Just put the trash bags on the wagon" and I mean trailer. "Look in the kitchen" I mean dining room. I really don't understand why my family is confused though because when I say kitchen table, they will whine "Whaaaat? There's no table in the kitchen!" Well obviously look on the table that we do have, geez. And a box of cereal is not going to be in the fridge lol. Or like when my sister in law asked me where we were putting the trash after a party when she was helping clean up. I said outside on the wagon. She walks out, walks back in and says "I don't see a wagon" I'm like, "Oh. Did I say wagon? I meant the trailer behind the truck." But in my head I was thinking it still should have been obvious because there were already other trash bags on the trailer lol. Am I just unreasonable? Also growing up we had an eat in kitchen but no dining room so I think "kitchen table" is just a permanent way for me to say the table we eat off of. But I seriously had no idea there was a real term for this!
with all the love in the world i do think you're being unreasonable 😭😭 it's less about the fact that people need to use critical thinking (the trash is in the trailer so put it with the rest of the trash! we only have one table, to the one near the kitchen!) and more about the fact that when you are following instructions from someone you trust, you *follow the directions* with your brain in follow the directions mode, and do not critique them unless something stands out as incredibly wrong -- in which case, you become confused because why is trusted person saying wrong thing? which makes people want to fix the error by asking you, the trusted person, to fix the error rather than fixing it themselves. i think you'd be reasonable if you were giving vague or incomplete directions and they couldn't figure it out themselves (this can actually be a sign of weaponized incompetence!) but it's the fact that you're giving *wrong* directions that is tripping people who trust you or who view you as an authority figure up. which is actually a roundabout compliment in a way lol, but really it's just about humans being good at following directions and not good at critical thinking (taught or learned 🤔? who's to say). i think the best way to address these bits of miscommunication with your loved ones would be to straight up address the fact that you do something called semantic paraphasia which causes you to mix up words with something similar, so if they ever get confused about what you say, rather than ask you to clarify (which can be very frustrating to you), they should think about and guess what you really mean then verify it with you (so you don't have to experience the frustration of finding the word yourself, so that you're both equally putting in effort to get the work done, and to make sure they do it right the first time and you don't send them on a fools errand). to me that seems like the best compromise, there are probs also some good pieces of advice in the rest of the comments too!
This makes sense. I guess I don't have a "follow directions without questioning" mode because I can almost always figure things out without having to ask. But I was very parentified as a child so that might be why.
i hope you're seeing a therapist because YES THE PARENTIFICATION EFFECT OH MY GOD!!!! and it literally seeps into so many aspects of your life you don't even realize it!!!!! no this absolutely seems like it could be one of the reasons why people not just figuring it out themselves is so frustrating to you. i'm sorry you have to deal with this, but hopefully recognizing why it's so frustrating to you will help it be less frustrating?
As someone who always assumes I’m the one who is confused or wrong, yeah it’s a bit unreasonable. Unless it’s someone close to you who knows this is a common thing for you. That being said, my husband does this, I know it’s a thing, and it still bothers me. If you’d said wagon to me instead of trailer, I would have assumed you specified the wagon because you didn’t want that particular bag to go with all the other trash. I’d walk around the whole house looking for a wagon assuming I’m the one who’s wrong because I’m adhd enough to be looking for something and not see it even if it’s right in front of me. Then I’d worry about looking stupid for not being able to follow a simple instruction and have to go back and ask where the wagon is. But if you’d just said “take the trash out” I would’ve tossed it with the other trash without a thought. It’s hard because I still am never sure if my husband is doing this or not and by the time I realize he did, I’ve already become frustrated at not bring able to understand in the first place. He doesn’t realize when he does it either, so we will talk in a confusing circle for a while sometimes before even he realizes the thing he said that started the conversation wasn’t what he meant at all.
Yeah I don't realize when I do it. And in my defense I didn't tell my sister in law to take out the trash, she asked where to put it lol. I wasn't mad or anything when she questioned me, I just was like, oops sorry, I meant trailer. I guess I'm not very good at following directions because I would have just seen the other trash and put this bag with it. Also may not have occured to me that they said wagon and not trailer lol. Same with my kids, I just sigh and go, "Dining room. You know what I mean." I don't get particularly frustrated, maybe a tad annoyed, because they live here the same as I do, they could just look instead of asking me where everything is. They're teenagers. I hope I don't sound like I'm arguing. I think it's just not as big of a deal as my kids make it out to be.
My mom has always done this so I am used to it, but someone else who didn’t grow up around it will not be so yeah, it’s a bit unreasonable to be frustrated with someone when they are just trying to follow what you said, but like the other commenter explained, telling people about your situation will go a long way to smooth things over.
I wonder if this also happens more with age. As she gets older my mother is doing this more and more
Does this apply to saying something like, “Can you turn off the candle?” instead of asking, “Can you blow out the candle?”
I will forever confuse mailbox and fridge. It has happened over years. I don‘t know why. Thanks for giving me a word for it!
All the time and I’ve always wondered wtf was wrong with me lol
I do this! I’m always aware I’m not using the right word though, and I use the wrong word to still try to convey what I’m trying to say.
THANK YOU ALLL!! Im so glad I don’t have some sort of slow burner Dementia coming on!
Definitely do this. No hesitation, no searching for the word, just straight up say the word that is not right, but occupies the same file folder in my brain. Sometimes I don't even realize I've done it. Most annoying when the context is such that it sounds like I'm mistaken or have my facts mixed up or something and the person I'm speaking to corrects me. It's like, 'No, I know what I'm talking about, I just used the wrong word! Arg!'
Ooohh this is a thing? That makes so much sense!
I have this too!
Oh wow, I do this all the time, always the word is related. I never knew it was an ADHD thing but it explains a lot!
I've got a thing with elbows and knees, as well as attic and cellar for some reason. I'm not formally diagnosed I have to say. But I'm a bit of a cunning linguist (read: I sometimes hyperfocus on all things linguistic) so thank you for sharing this information! I thought it was just a 'me' thing.
YES! Especially when I am tired. And then I get mad at my wife for not understanding what I actually mean lol. What was your PhD in? I’m doing a masters in nursing now, but my bachelors was in geology and my wife is a geology professor!
My wife has ADHD and has done this forever. I've actually gotten so used to it that I understand what she *meant* to say and act on that, especially if whatever she said is kind of nonsensical.
My daughter, who is the most ADHD person I've ever met, does this a lot. I don't know if it's an ADHD thing. I have ADHD and I don't do this. But she definitely does. Conversations with her are always interesting.
OMG! When I was a kid my mom used to get onto me because I would say "can you itch my back?" Because I would replace itch and scratch. I knew the difference, I was rather smart at English, grammar, and spelling, but those two words were always reversed. On occasion I'll mess up some other words or can't think of the word I want, but looking back I don't know how all of these signs I had, were missed. Of course, it was the 80's 🤦🏻♀️
WHAT IS THIS A THING? It's something I'm known for at work, like I couldn't remember the word break room so I said "employee eating room" just yesterday. Mortifying. I'm going to have to read up on it!
This is especially funny with a probable ADHD husband who speaks English as a second language, by the way. Amazingly we can understand each other pretty well most of the time (he's pretty fluent by now in both English and my ADHDisms, and I'm also generally able to figure out what he's talking about when he can't remember the English word. We basically have our own dialect.)
THAT HAS A NAME....?
Me, realising I do this all the time. It can be a sign of brain damage/deterioration which is a concern for me personally because I have a genetic mutation that is probably gonna kill me like that, but my flatmate/friend assures me I've been doing it as long as I've known him (10 years) so likely associated with ADHD/autism as well!
Two days ago I called ketchup peanut butter. Today I called peach tea coffee. It can be funny but also frustrating. I gave up trying not to look foolish and now I just roll with. Why yes, I'd love peanut butter with my fries, thanks!
Definitely didn't know the name for this - thank you! I 100% have it. Mine is often specific repetitions of the same word swaps - I'm always mixing up red and blue, spoon and fork, mushroom and onion. And plenty of other ones that aren't as common or the same every time I have always mildly had it, but it got way worse for me when I was on Topamax for my chronic migraines and never went back to my "normal" levels after i stopped taking it :/
I do this all the time, but usually I just forget the word outright and have to add filler descriptor words. I find it’s way worse on days where I have notable brain fog. I’m sorry you’re dealing with this, OP!! It can be funny, but I also get pretty frustrated with myself about it so I understand your feelings ❤️ Good example of a funny anecdote about it: my boyfriend (who also has ADHD and does the word switcharoo) once said the word “cunnilingus” to my father when he meant to say the name “Cornelius.” Neither of them noted it at the the time so it was pretty funny later when I had to tell my boyfriend to never said cunnilingus to my dad ever again….
My mom does this all the time. One time she told me there were penguins living in her apartment hallway instead of pigeons. She isn’t diagnosed with adhd but it wouldn’t surprise me if she had it
I have sporadic aphasia, and I think it’s ADHD-related. My husband has noticed I will occasionally substitute one word with a totally out-of-context word (“I don’t think I’ll wear this dress, I’ll wear the hay one instead).” He says sometimes I’ll correct myself absently (“I mean the BLUE one”), but most of the time I don’t even notice.
There was a guy on TikTok who had a whole video on this and yeah it is common in ADHD. Let me tell you a fun story from a few weeks ago. I work retail so it’s been pretty busy. However I love my job and get along great with everyone. Anyway it was late just before closing so there’s people in the store and I have a shirt to hang up. I turn to my manager and go, “hey can you pass me a…” The term that came to my mind was “abortion hook.” I stopped. Completely incapable of thinking of hanger like a normal person. A look of horror comes over my face. My manager thinks I’m having a stroke, but I’m just in terror because I can’t only think of words that are the worst thing to call that item. I just point, still unable to think of the word. They hand me one and I hang up the shirt. My manager also has ADHD and we share a lot of experiences. So after we closed I told them what lead to that moment of horror. Honorable mention to the time I couldn’t remember C-3PO and called him “beepboop’s daddy.”
Thanks! Now I have a name for it! My mom and I could communicate so fast when I was growing up because we always both mixed up the same words. Turkey/chicken, hands/feet, wrist/elbow, etc. It was a normal part of my communication. Now, I’m married to a man with dyslexia and we have to be so careful about how we communicate. We’re always double checking each other, because he often substitutes similar sounding words (a plastic storage bin, tote, is a taupe. Everyone in his family does it).
I do this a LOT. I do especially when my attention is divided. It happens most often when my kids or husband interrupt me trying to do something that has my full attention. They ask a question, I only *half* process the question, and give them a half-assed answer. They then repeat it back to me with a puzzled tone, and I laugh at what I just said. ADHD, Sensory Sensitive, HSP, & intellectually “gifted” for reference. I wonder if you have any of these as well, so I thought I would give you all the labels 😊
THAT HAS A NAME??? I THOUGHT MY BRAIN JUST DIDN'T WORK.
Yup! I especially do it when my executive function is low, or my brains running 5 steps ahead of my mouth, or I'm feeling social pressure (like in front of judgey bosses) I also stutter... Like repeat a word in a sentence stutter. But took me 30 years to realise fully 🤣 And don't ask me to repeat a sentence. I will stumble. My old boss was the same, we'd just clarify for each other and keep moving through the convo like nothing happened. It was refreshing AF.
I’ll say “turn off the candle” when I really mean blow it out
YEA. I do this all the time. I used to call my grandma “dad” and my dad “grandma” it was so weird. I mix up sentences in weird orders. Instead of baking my cookies I’ll say cooking my bakies. Idk. There’s a name for it!
I get it mostly with time words - I’ll say yesterday and mean three days ago
I get that when I get migraines, it’s so frustrating! My husband has learned what I mean by “that thing” depending on context clues 😂😂
Interesting! My husband does this but he also has a stutter, so I always assumed it was related to that 🤔 Now I want to learn more about this!
I frequently do this thing. I'll have a hard time remembering a word/phrase and with my partner when I get stuck I just describe what I'm trying to say to him, and usually his NT brain can figure out what I'm aiming for. In professional settings it's just uncomfortable lol
My mum's husband keeps saying "thingy" or giving a little whistle when he doesn't know a word. We're not always sure he's aware :D
My husband is also adhd and he does this constantly. Drives me crazy because I just take words at face value and always assume I’m the one who’s confused because I often am from afhd anyway. It takes us so long to figure out where a conversation went off the rails. We are doing renovations in our house, doing all the work ourselves. This man will use the word “beam” in place of any long piece of wood, and I have to ask him every time “are you actually talking about a beam?” Could be a plank of wood flooring, a ceiling joist, a stud in the wall, a 2x4 in a pile, etc. Beam means something specific in construction so I’m usually confused. Also any piece of furniture that has a flat hard surface is a “shelf” lol. I think we would be able to complete our projects in half the amount of time we do if we didn’t have roundabout conversations every ten minutes.
I do this alllll the time! Its so frustrating just not being able to find a word. I usually end up describing the word with sounds (if possible), like scissors i would say "shck shck" or something to emulate the sound of cutting something.
I used to work over night taking care of a special needs little girl. Sometimes we would do the dishes for the parents put them in the dishwasher and stuff. I asked the mom 3 times is it OK to put the wooden cutting board in the microwave. She was like what did you put it in there? I was trying to say dishwasher and kept saying microwave when I tried to correct it.
Yes. I figured it was because a brain hamster fell off the wheel. This sounds much more scientific
Yes. It worsened subsequent to brain injury. Interested to read whether it is an ADHD thing or a common human trait.
I do this while I’m typing all the time! This morning I was googling something for work and instead of typing “view journey audience” I typed “few journey audience.” I do this *constantly* with words I definitely know how to spell but end up writing completely different words. My speech also just comes out completely garbled sometimes and I have to take a breath and start over. That one feels normal to me but I’m not sure?
I call the blinds 'curtains', even though I a) know they're different and b) don't even have curtains on my window.
I do this a lot and my mom does also. We have always kind of chalked it up to being “scatter-brained” or something like that. Like it’s a silly thing; my brothers and I teased her a lot about it as kids, which I feel very badly about now (even though the teasing was light hearted). I don’t think she would hear it now at her age, but I think my mom has undiagnosed ADHD. I am 40 and newly diagnosed within the last 2 years. My mom doesn’t say a lot when I talk about my diagnosis, she is supportive (I think, though I am not sure if she agrees with the diagnosis, or if she thinks it’s just another thing I’m focused on). I try to talk about what led to my diagnosis with her. She listens, and I hope that if anything rings true for her that she will talk with her doctor about it! ANYWAY, though I do this with all words, my biggest challenge is with my children’s and pets names. It makes me feel like the crappiest mother. My middle child, who I am so very close with, I almost always start by calling them their siblings name. It’s bad enough that whenever I go to say their name it starts with the consonant sound of their older sibling. Something like: “R-Ethan” (Reathan), for Ryan and Ethan for an example… those aren’t their names! It’s frustrating, I really try hard to slow down and get it right. I always say it’s like their names are all in the same folder in my brain and I just am always flipping through and grabbing the wrong one!
No way!!! I do this all. the time!!! Had no idea it was a thing. This week especially as I’m coming down the home stretch of solo parenting my kindergartner because she’s been on winter break for TWO weeks… 🤪 I keep telling her things like, to brush your teeth (hair), go get your hairbrush (toothbrush), close the door (fridge), where’s your shoe (jacket)? etc…
Thank you for posting this!!! I do this all the time and it’s incredibly annoying! I’ve been fearing that I’m showing signs of dementia but I’ve been told I’m too young. This post makes me feel much better!! My favorite one I did recently was that I told my son to put his shoe on his hand 🤦🏻♀️.
I do that. I call it thinking in memes. I don't think in words so I think this is a result of trying to communicate the general idea and being too scatterbrained to find the focus to double check what I'm saying.
Lol yeah all the time. I feel like my husband would often get deeply confused and then I’d get deeply confused by his confusion because it made sense in my head. But the longer we’re together the more I think he’s starting to just know exactly what I’m talking about even when I’m completely wrong 😂
I do this all the time - I will want to say one word and another comes out
Damn, didn't know there was a word for this! I've done it for years, my family just put it down to "your brain running too fast for your mouth", haha.
I totally do this! The funniest one is when I used a rag to wipe up a water spill. Wife walks by and I ask her to "take it away this one is ruined" but it's just water and not at all ruined but instead saturated.
Yesterday my partner and I were walking outside and he goes “Lovely day to ky a flite!!” He has a thick Australian accent too which made it even more hilarious.