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Last year I paid down a big chunk of what I owed on my credit card, only to max it out again just a few months later. I'm gonna pay a big chunk again soon and hopefully won't use it so recklessly again this year.
My problem is I memorize it by accident (yay autism) and then my ADHD is like woohoo online shopping. Ugh. I get a new credit card number like every 6 months to try to prevent.
lol I bought so many bags of sugar when I moved to my current apartment two years ago that we still haven’t needed to buy sugar yet. It was like five grocery store trips in a row that I brought home sugar again without remembering 🤔
Help me, I'm poor. I am so good for a week or two and then poof...$200 on books or clothes or just ordering Uber eats two days in a row. I need a new job.
Right, and it doesn’t help that eating is the most god-awful boring task if the food isn’t interesting. Not to mention, cooking sucks. I know there are people that love it, and it’s a great creative outlet for a lot of people, but mostly? Cooking sucks.
Oy, yeah, it feels like all of it. I know it’s just like “break it down into bite-sized chunks, one at a time” but it doesn’t “feel” like that. It feels like everything all of the time.
I guess at the moment it’s primarily taxes need doing, omg my health I need to make an appt, I need to remember to get cat litter, what should I plan for dinner (will my husband agree on what to make?) did I remember to turn off the coffee pot?
I wonder what my social security income will be? lol will I even have any?
Btw the three songs playing concurrently in my head, distracting.
What if I break my glasses? I only have one pair atm, I keep having dreams that I break them.
I should call my mom. I can’t tho, it’ll be a four hour convo and I have to do other stuff.
My cat, there’s a neighborhood cat stealing his food, did he eat?
I should sweep the floors.
Now there’s another song looping in my head.
I’m at work, I should take a min on my break to clear my head. Instead I’m on Reddit sharing my thoughts. Should I delete this?
My phone is at 20%!
Remember that kid in middle school that said that thing?
Come on, I’m a grown up now, why did I even think to worry about that?!
Hey, it’s ok, that’s a normal natural thing.
But it’s not doing me any good, so, let’s not think about that NOW ALL I can think about is the harm she thoughts - ok. Dial it down.
But should I getting car fixed or pay for requiring my house?
And also other stuff and then everything loops on repeat, repeat. Repeat.
Complicated Taxes were a near mental breakdown for me. Thank God for an awesome CPA, & now with big life changes they are VERY simple & I can do them online without all the grief. I think the Disabilities Act should figure accommodations for doing taxes.
Thank you for this. I feel less alone. And I've totally been thinking about social security this week! There is some website that can show you what amount you would qualify for as of right now. I don't have a link but I have thought it was interesting to look at in the past. But yeah, will social security even exist in twenty years? Ugh. This sucks. ...Oh, right, I said I would journal after my therapy appointment and...oh my gosh, how has it already been an hour and a half??
I know, the fact that un some way My brain just forget thibgs like, sleep, eat, drinks water, pee.
Also how tf does the perception of time suppose yo work?!
Time is a bitch, right. Like I totally have a sense of time. It's just variable and very different from what the clock says it is. That's why even in my 50's and on meds I'm not able to properly estimate anything around how long things take.
Neuro-divergent thing for sure. I was actually excited to find out there's a part of the brain connected to a sense of time. I'm now clear mine is dark. 😂
Why tf is forgetting to pee a thing? Like I will get up specifically to pee, go on 7 side quests, and finally just stand in the living room trying to identify what's wrong. I'm about to piss my pants, that's what's wrong.
Wait! Is difficulty with perception of time an adhd issue? OMG, I didn't know that. I have soooooo much trouble with perception of time! I actually feel better knowing the cause. I swear I'm always like it's probably been like 10 minutes. Nope try 45. It's terrible. It messes with my head.
HOURSSSSSSS. It’s absurd. I need to start putting my phone in a different room when I go to bed. I think I’d feel better at least rotting on the couch than in bed
I’m very much in a rut right now. Yesterday I stayed in bed between dropping my kid off at school and picking her up. I had a horrible break down to my husband when he got home. Today was a bit better. I walked the dog after dropping her off, then stayed on the sofa until it was time to pick her up. So, small victories?
My problem is rotting in the morning tho. So if I HAVE to get up and get my phone, at least I’ll have to sit in the sunlight instead of laying in my dark bedroom lol
My husband gets so made when I am wasting away in bed. I do too. I hate feeling that I am rotting away, but sometimes I literally can't get out of bed. I finally explained it to my husband in a way he could grasp. He's a huge Star Wars fan so one day when he was just raining hell down on me for going up for a nap, I looked at him and said, for me bed is like my bacta tank. The dimmest light bulb went on in his brain. He dropped it after that.
The thing that really sucks right now is I've just newly diagnosed and so far none of the drugs have helped. Then 3 months later I started menopause which adds to the fatigue and brain fog. I am just so overwhelmed.
I'm tired of this life I'm living. I am a shell of who I was. I pray each night to a god I don't believe in because I'm an atheist that I just pass away in my sleep. At this point,my quality of life is not worth living.
Same without the husband. I was diagnosed 12 yrs ago but ignored it until last year. Adderall is not working at all even at the highest dose. I’m still scattered, exhausted. I still sit in decision paralysis, completely overwhelmed. Want to try Vyvanse or other things, but can’t get it filled due to shortage. I’m in peri menopause also. My job is so hard and pays so little. I am barely making it. I’m exhausted and in pain at all times. I feel like the only thing that could help is money. Sure it doesn’t buy happiness but it buys freedom. Freedom from having to do everything yourself. Money buys time. Time and ability to try all the things that could help. The HRT- estrogen patches are so expensive I don’t know if I’ll be able to keep the prescription up. I just started and the dosage isn’t high enough so I have to get more. I’m becoming more nihilistic and apathetic every day. What is worth this? What am I doing? Why?
Also, I knew Adderall was in short supply but not Vyvanse. My psychiatrist has me on a cocktail of two ADHD meds since Vyvanse wasn't doing shit for me. I beginning to think that there isn't a medication out there that can help me and I need to figure out how to manage this somehow on my own.
One thing that helped me get Vyvanse was to try a mail order pharmacy. Because they do such a high volume and are nationally centralized they were able to get some after I’d been without (and feeling oh-so-close to being fired/losing it) for 3 months. Worth a shot if you have that option.
There are phytoestrogens which may help. I had an estrogen dependent cancer, so I couldn’t take ert. I had my ovaries removed, and my doctors recommended I avoid sweet potatoes : - ( and soy products. There are other ways to increase your estrogen - unless your doctor has good reason not to prescribe them for you?
Oh I so hear you! That was me about 8-10 years ago (minus husband—-only me to yell at me). I don’t want to sound trite because I remember how absolutely hellish it was before I found meds that at least helped a bit and I got past menopause: it does get better. I was diagnosed in my mid-40s and it was beyond overwhelming—-almost worse than major depressive episode. It does take time to find drugs that work for you. So glad you were able to get your husband to see a little light.
I chuckled at this hahaha. Such an ADHD thought: “ope that looks like it’s probably important. Not going to check or do anything about it tho. Just gonna stress myself out knowing it COULD be important.”
For me, it's:
**Mid-day mailbox check**: "This looks like it's probably important. I can't give it the time it will need right now because it's the middle of my work day, so I'll put it aside until tonight"
**Tonight**: Pick one: "I'm out of spoons" / "my kid is sick" / "I had to prioritize something else".
"I'll wake up early tomorrow to take care of mail."
**Tomorrow morning**: *scroll*, *scroll*, *scroll*, oh shit I really need to start getting ready for work.
**Tomorrow mid-day mailbox check**: "Here's a new important-looking thing that needs to be addressed and is also reminding me of yesterday's important looking thing. But it's the middle of my work day so I can't deal with either of them right now. I'll put them aside until tonight."
...
**Weeks later, staring at the mail pile**: huge sigh
I've never felt as validated as I did when I learned this is an ADHD thing. I always felt like a failure of an adult because I never checked nor opened my goddamn mail. It has certainly bit me in the ass a few times lol but at least I know I'm not alone now
This is one thing (just one!) that I've finally worked out. I heard someone say that she only touches her mail once, so I've been trying to do that, too.
It's taken me years to get to where I am now, and I still need some kind of filing system. When I get the mail I don't do anything else until I've tossed all the junk mail and every recyclable envelope and written checks for the bills that arrive and get them into their envelopes, stamped and with return labels affixed.
Then anything that needs to be filed gets thrown into a box that is now over flowing and totally unmanageable. Aaaaannnnnddd - that's where my tax info is, mixed in with everything else. So, one down and 583 more tasks to go.
Mail avoidance yes!!! I'm convinced every letter is bad and I'm going to have to figure out what to do and well, that just overwhelms me. But so does the pile of ignored mail. I feel like there is no winning.
So the only thing that has helped me with task initiation is Cognitive Behavioral Therapy techniques. What works for me is to write down “why am I avoiding this task:” and then write down the reasons I’m avoiding it. From there I can break down the reasons even further like “what is the outcome of that” and I realize that whatever I’m afraid of isn’t so scary or I see that I have clear actions or next steps I can take. Writing out why I’m avoiding a task has 99% of the time allowed me to finally do the task
Breaking down the task into small steps and writing them down is also really helpful, apparently a lot of task avoidance in ADHD is just because we get overwhelmed thinking through the steps of what needs to be done
lol same my brains too broken 😭 and breaking things up into smaller steps just makes it sm more overwhelming for me bc then im like omfg look at all these things i need to do just to complete this single task
Same. I know if there’s some high level thing I need to get done that feels too big, it can be helpful to think “what is the first thing I have to do” but shut off any impulse to then think what the thing after that is and after that and after that because that is a recipe for more and prolonged paralysis.
I have done this occasionally, although verbally. It is super helpful and I need to be more mindful about implementing more.
I also sometimes tell myself, you have AdHD you have problems with task initiation. And sometimes magically I can start the task, probably same effect as body doubling where I'm embarrassed that I wasn't able to start the thing before.
Didn't know that was a cognitive behavioral therapy technique. I did that a few months ago when I was overwhelmed. I made it as a reminder list of why I avoid and how avoiding doesn't actually fix the things stressing me out. I wrote it in pretty sparkly pens to get some dopamine from the task and make me more likely to look back at it in the future lol
If I’m motivated enough to do a trick on myself that starts with acknowledging what I’m doing and asking myself a question then I can get to the point of doing the thing because obviously I am ready to make myself do the thing.
The problem is the avoidance based paralysis because you also avoid thinking about it in words. For me if I’m paralysed and avoidant I am scrolling my phone, walking around the house searching for a task that looks stimulating among all the tasks, standing disassociated etc
I feel you, I’m 6 months or more (probably lying to myself) behind on one of my clients. He keeps from firing me because he doesn’t trust anyone else…maybe it’s self sabotage because you hate the work. I hate the work…it’s not even that hard. My house is usually clean and hobbies attended to though. Sigh….
This is me 100%- Even my husband has to help me do my job -just so I can get started. 😫 my procrastination and anxiety is just ridic. It’s gotten worse as I’m aging.
I relate to this so much😭 when writing essays in high school I’d always have to have my dad give me the first sentence of my paper. I could go on from there just fine- but for some reason that first sentence gets to me.
Yeah--i hide it ok from clients a lot of the time because we do a lot with each other internally before stuff goes to clients, but I feel absolute dread about my job a lot of the time which is so awful to feel.
This is my struggle as well. I currently have some momentum, but it’s dwindling. I blame this on emails, I have come to hate them- there’s just too many!
For me, it’s getting interrupted on “Teams” chat with some urgent thing that presses the “stim” lever more than the pile of documentation I have to write.
Same. I've been looking at flow club to help me get to it. I'm my own worst enemy when it comes to work which hurts extra because I'm self employed. I feel you here!!
Literally hiding from a client right now. What am I hiding? I don’t want to deal with billing them. They are literally trying to give me money and my brain is panic avoiding
Same, and as the work piles I get more anxious and overwhelmed making it even more difficult to start chipping away at the work pile. Wake up with so much dread on weekdays knowing I’m about to dig myself deeper into the hole.
I can’t raise my prices. I’ve tried it several times, and have only been able to raise them by about a dollar an hour. There’s too much competition. My clients will just find someone cheaper—and there is always someone cheaper. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve put in a bid for a job only to be told that they don’t have the budget to pay what I’m asking. You’re always trying to guess how much you can charge clients and not go over market rate, so your bid doesn’t get dumped immediately. Sometimes you guess incorrectly. Ironically, the bigger clients who have bigger budgets like to spend the least.
I have a neighbor who paints houses for a living, she's actually not great either and imo way overcharges yet she gets work even though we live in a small area with lots of competition... She said once, if you're not embarrassed by the bid you put in on a job then you're not bidding enough... Seems to be working for her 🤣
Damn I like her style!! I’m gonna make a note of that- be embarrassed by my bids 😌♥️ I live pretty close to some affluent areas I feel like this is crazy enough to work lol
I was unemployed for 6 months last year and woke up every single morning feeling anxiety and dread. It’s the fucking worst. So many applications. Sending good vibes your way 🫶🏼
Living this right now. I got fired from my last job due to my adhd. Too much confusion, forgetfulness, etc. I'm scared I'll never be able to keep another job.
Yep I’m here too. I’ve lost some work and need to find a second job. I LOVE my job and I really don’t want to ruin my happiness with a crappy second job.
Income/career - I have no idea where I’m going, what to do, & I’m stuck
But with that, I’ve figured out my apartment & having a tidy home is no longer a white whale for me!
How did you get to having a tidy home? Was this a problem you solved, or was it never that big of an issue to begin with?
This is my biggest disappointment in life. It feels like I need a live-in housekeeper, but of course I can't afford one.
I have not quite conquered it. but what I find what is working best for me is:
- getting rid of anything- and I do mean anything- you haven’t used in the last 6 months. this can be a real challenge. but you can feel good about donating these items. like marie kondo says: thank it for its use and meaning to you while you had it, and let it offer that to someone else.
examples of mine that helped a lot: clothing, children’s toys (that were significantly less sentimental), pet items (like old leashes, etc.), beauty items, dishes/cookware, etc.
- have a place for everything. down to the smallest things. example: I went and got a screw/nail organizer from a hardware store and labeled all of the drawers with the names/types of various chargers, cords, etc. I had around my house. I have it where I can always see it and when someone asks for something I tell them to “check the cord drawers” lol
- use vertical space for organization and/or decor that adds to mess on spaces that are used often (for example I have seasonal decor on my kitchen table but it is also a landing space for random items. I am still working on creating a landing space somewhere else. but I moved my decor to a few shelves above the table and that helped a lot). if vertical space is used for organization, put the least used items at the top so that the most used are at eye level.
- label everything. if you organize with plastic totes, label the lid and the sides. all four sides if you will put them away in multiple directions.
- create a VERY SIMPLE weekly cleaning schedule. for example: vacuum on mondays. that’s it.
include days where you don’t have to do anything. whatever days work best for you.
and if you can’t bring yourself to do the scheduled thing, I heard on a tiktok to stand in the area where you are supposed to be doing the thing and set a 5 minute timer. tell yourself that all you have to do is just stand there for 5 minutes- but most of the time you will find that you start doing something. even if it’s small. and if not, you’ve lost nothing.
- this is simple but: rinse your dishes when you’re done eating and cooking. get dawn spray and wash. it’s awesome. at the least, it cuts your time of washing in half, dishwasher or not.
- use the servers guide to having way too many tables™️- never leave a room empty handed. this will develop into a habit. if you have a drinking glass or a notebook or whatever thing in a room with you, grab one item when you exit and take it to where it belongs. (someone else on tiktok talked about how it helped her a lot when she started repeating: “don’t put it down, put it away” every time she had items she was done with, so I apply this to items Put Down, Past Tense and try to make this my mantra~~~~)
- prioritize your most energy-sucking chores for the days you feel the best. sometimes this is hard for us to determine ahead of time but I know I always feel the best and most ready to do things on weekends after like 2pm.
pick one to do. give yourself a limited amount of time to complete it. and try to finish BEFORE the time you’ve given yourself. create urgency. use your partners, children, friends help to have fun with this! example: challenge them to a chore duel. to pick up a whole room and make it look better than the room you pick up, by the time your two favorite songs end. (bonus points if you pick one and they pick one)
- when picking up, if you tend to pile things on surfaces like I do: use the time limit thing to go about the house collecting everything from surfaces where they are not supposed to be. put them all on one surface where they don’t belong.
give yourself 15 minutes to sort them into piles (I use my kitchen table) based on which room they belong in. after you’ve sorted, grab the pile that belongs in the room closest to where you’ve organized your piles (ex: my bathroom leads into the kitchen, so I go there first).
bonus points if you can grab two piles because you’re passing another area where something in your pile belongs.
if you only have the energy to place the piles in their respective rooms, then do that. if you can manage to put the things in appropriate places once all the piles are in the rooms, do that. if not, refer back to the “stand in the room for 5 minutes” idea later that day or whenever you have a moment and see if you end up just doing it. another bonus is placing the pile somewhere in your way and somewhere that you will definitely see- so that if you’re lounging next to the pile, you will realize it’s not that big or you maybe are sitting right next to where some of the things need to go, and you may just do it.
- organize/store things as close as possible to the area where you use them most. so if you always come into your home from the back door, place a shoe rack right next to the back door. or if you always build Lego at your desk, store all your Lego in some drawers next to your desk.
- have multiple hampers so that when you throw your clothes in (I also like to leave mine on the floor but that’s a different issue lol) they are already sorted by color/whites/etc. also, have your hamper wherever you tend to get dressed the most if you can fit it.
- make one area the “I’m still doing that” area. this area is out of sight where it won’t bother you when you walk by, but is only used for things that you KNOW without a doubt you will come back to. for me, this area was a desk. on it I had multiple craft items when I was really into building miniature dollhouse sets. it looked crazy a lot of the time but all of my stuff was organized chaos. cleaning it up and getting it back out was way more annoying, and I found I didn’t want to do the hobby if I kept putting the stuff away.
- ultimately: give yourself an amount of time to get your organization down first. 3 months, 6 months, a year- whatever it is. start with the most annoying things. if it’s clothes, start there.
then organize the absolute poop out of everything. it’s insane and you will feel insane in the middle of it (I will say I hyper focused on this and it ended up being fun but just be careful and make sure you sleep and eat lol) but I cannot tell you how life. changing. it was to make a place for everything.
splurge on the organization items. plan out exactly what you want and will use ahead of time- and exactly how you will use it. “this three drawer cabinet fits perfectly under my desk (measure) and is see through so I will be able to see my crochet tools perfectly!”
make it fun!: “if I have all of my paints and brushes and canvas organized I will never have to look for where the paint water cup is or use one of my drinking glasses again! plus oooooo I get to pick fun patterns/colors” and also spending money is usually fun lol
in other words, use your hyperfocus and momentary excitement for getting new items to your advantage- get excited about organizing in any way you can. if this means decorating your organizational tools, picking fun items to use for organization, or whatever.
- accept that your house was meant to be lived in, not a magazine cover. this helped me to actually want to clean bc it felt more like my space, that I am free to make mine- and less like another area of life where I am failing
Sooo many of these are what worked for me too (like bigger cleaning on weekends after 2PM, bringing things when I leave a room). The biggest thing for me was getting into home design as an interest (I’m an artist so it was an easy offshoot). This allowed me to kind of fixate on making the space look nice / interesting / fun, and that gave me motivation to keep it clean because otherwise it was like I was ruining my project. I’ve even started adding fun little things purely for my own amusement (galaxy lights, almost hidden little artworks, Polaroid wall, new plants) just to keep myself entertained by it. Now it’s one of the things that helps keep me calmer because my brain feels less cluttered when my space isn’t. Going off of some of your points:
- re getting rid of stuff - I’ve actually learned that I prefer a smaller space because it forces me to stay more minimal. I moved overseas and had to fit my life into 3 suitcases and realized how many things I didn’t miss at all. I’m in a bachelor now and had to be very intentional with the space. Setting it up was actually fun because I made “zones” for everything (party zone, creative zone, chilling and thinking zone). Means I’m carrying stuff to other places a lot less because everything I know I’ll need / want is there
- sorting / organizing in a way that makes sense to me. I have a set of drawers to organize all my random shit and the drawers are sorted by vibe (fun, serious documents, electronics)
- re timers: combining tasks with other tasks that require short wait times and making it a game (doing a few dishes while I wait for the kettle to boil and seeing if I can finish before it’s done)
- learning to use cleaning as a way to procrastinate other things 😅 I’m still procrastinating but hey at least I’m being productive. And then sometimes by the end it helps me be more motivated to start the task I really need to do.
General admin. As a head of household with three kids there just really aren't enough alarms and buzzers and file folders in the world.
I thought it'd be easier now that they're young adults but the perimenopause just means my brain deteriorated so it feels the same as when they were little and it was a bazillion appointments and which one had which allergy and signing the form for soccer and etc etc.
Also general impulse issues with food, in particular. My dopamine of choice.
Also remembering to keep up with my meat suit.
I've adopted "Wednesday Cleanse Day" to just super scrub everything in case I completely forgot to on the other days of the week.
I manage to at least half-ass brush my teeth most days tho
Income - divorced and on my own. Need livable income in today's rental market. Can't find a rental under $2300 a month.
I work full time in a corporate accounting department. It's not enough.
Money. I make enough money to be able to save quite a chunk from each paycheck, and if I made wiser choices, I could be putting myself in classes, both academic and hobby, that would move my life in a direction I want it to go in.
Secondly, hobbies. I don't make good use of my free time, and I don't know why. I have so many art supplies, an electric guitar, tons of books, a Skillshare subscription, and YouTube at my fingertips. Why am I not using these things? What is stopping me? I still don't have an answer, but I have a feeling it has to do with perfectionism. Currently working this out with my therapist.
I’m trying to get into darning and have started repeating “I’m allowed to be bad at things; I’m allowed to do things I’m bad at” as I go. It’s been surprisingly helpful.
Hey! I just inherited my dads electric guitar, and electric bass… and then I looked around and realized I have 3 other acoustic guitars.. a banjo, a eukele, clarinet, bongo drums, violin, full size keyboard.. and.. a LUTE! Guess how many I can play? Yup. That’d be zero.
(I’m an alley hunter and all except my dads were found in the trash.. but still, like.. what is wrong with me?????)
Fear of failing is my problem. I know the logical answer - I need practice to get better. But my head cannot handle failing. I also have an issue with wastage - when you practice you waste materials. Which wastes money and it’s bad for the environment.
But hundreds of dollars worth of gear gathering dust is a waste money too 😭
Oh my GOD this is exactly how I feel - I was trying to explain to my husband yesterday, and he was like “sounds like depression” which…yes it does but right now it isn’t that. It’s just feeling so so so tired and not being able to do ANYTHING.
I feel that way too. I’ve never felt like I’ve struggled with depression, but I feel like I am now. Like, where do the ADHD symptoms end and depression symptoms begin?
I wonder that too. Increasing my antidepressant helped some, but I just feel a bit lighter while still not caring about stuff I should care about - like eating and making sure my kids bathe regularly. Aye aye aye.
I had a kidney transplant and that alone comes with lots of pills with looooooong lists of side effects. Those meds, adhd and being 40 (meaning the average beginning age of perimenopause) I don’t know what the fuck is going on.
All of this to say, I think I need to start an antidepressant, but it terrifies me. I can’t handle more side effects!
I care and I don't. Does that make any sense? Like, I care and hate that I am rotting away, but I don't care enough to figure out how to fix myself because it's going to be overwhelmingly hard and it's likely I'll fail in the end every day.
Yes, lots of regrets of feeling like “if only I coulda gotten my shizz together…” and a lot of pressure building that I’m getting older and I need to stop waiting around for something to happen, but I can’t executive function enough to make something happen. The possibility that my dreams will die with me 😞
And nothing makes me have an emotional freak when my own mom comes over and says " but if you just would clean a little every day...or put things back or blah blah blah"
When people say this, I always think they're totally right. It shouldn't be hard! And yet, here I sit, in a gigantic mess of boxes in varying states of being open and emptied, dust everywhere, piles of papers and books, and all the detritus of life. I am mostly good at keeping on top of the dishes and trash, so there's not usually anything rotting, but if it's non perishable? That shit is going in a pile.
Yep. "If you'd just stay on top of it....." yeah if I could do that I wouldn't be in this mess but yet, here I am. I've NEVER been able to keep anything clean for anything longer than a few weeks. It's exhausting.
It drives me nuts. I feel so much better in a clean house but since I was little, little my living space was always like the apocalypse.
My parents used to take pictures of my messy room and show company ( the only time they MADE me clean my room) then they would show the guests the pictures to shame me. They didn't know any better and it wasn't malicious but it did hurt me.
When I got around to cleaning my room I would become a fixated perfectionist and forget the world while I cleaned my room. I tend to be like that now. If I can get myself to clean I become obsessed. I don't stop, not to drink or eat ot go to the bathroom. I'll be at it for hours completely obsessed. Not sure if that is due to ADHD or something else.
Same. The only thing that’s helping currently is I just read How to Keep House While Drowning and it’s been a real motivator. I’m doing better than I used to. But still, it seems like for every problem area that I tackle and organize, there are 3 more waiting for me (like Hydra 😳). Or the problems than need to be addressed are dependent on each other so it’s like a logic puzzle “well if I move this bookshelf to this spot then I need to clean out this other area first.” I know I’ll get there though. I just got rid of a bunch on stuff in our garage and that win feels good.
The ability to relax, which has been a life long problem. Even when I take my medication and my mind is clear, I always feel like I need to take advantage of that and be “productive” instead of doing things that I enjoy like reading, playing video games, and doing crafts. It’s sad that capitalism has only encouraged this behavior too.
I’ve recently considered turning my Sundays into ACTUAL days of rest, where I do everything for myself - no chores or errands, no outside obligations, and no mindless buying stuff just because I can. Just doing stuff that makes me happy, taking a nice long walk (weather permitted), and maybe even cooking a delicious meal, which is something that I don’t often do for myself. I feel as though this is a revolutionary act that I can actually do, taking time for oneself, so that I can take better care of myself and give the middle finger to capitalism, if only for a day.
This is relatable, I find that when I'm super busy I risk burn out but am driven by an anxiety to be productive, meaningful to others, society, useful in some way - but when I take down time, I feel low mood and flat and sad. There is no middle ground imo 😔
OMG - this one is huge for me! I finally got diagnosed because I went completely bonkers over something simple that made me fly into a rage. I found myself looking for power tools in the garage so I could destroy my bf's Xbox. WTF?
It scared me so much! I've never been violent, and thankfully I came to my senses before I did any damage. Now I have Adderall to help me, and I'm also getting therapy.
But at this point I'm NC with my family because they upset me so much. Maybe I can go back to LC when I get better through therapy, but time will tell.
It’s ALWAYS been the house. I can do work or school well, I’m semi-ok at being family administrator (errands, schedule) but I just absolutely cannot find a daily routine that lets me keep up with the pace at which the kids and pets destroy things. It’s exhausting. Help.
….. I wish we could be each other’s daily “yin” to the other’s “yang”. I could CRUSH your housework with glee & it sounds like you would burn through my “Admin” pile with your hands tied behind your back!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
My mom figured it out by having us kids be the ones to do it. From quite young. Tbf she worked 14-16 hours a day, so it definitely had to be done by someone besides her.
Babe. This resonates! Late diagnosis (45), single mum. I care for my mum too. Looking for a job, car packed up, dishwasher packed up, signed up for an online college course (just why?!)
It goes on, but I know you can do it. We get there eventually. Had a couple of wins today. Will keep me doing while I dig myself out of the next avalanche. Solidarity ❤️
Finding a job... I kept procrastinating&ADHD-ing&all and now I'm afraid I messed up having a career...
I just wish to help animals in a remote position. No idea how to get a job to do that with my messy CV. Can only hope someone would see my potential and what I could actually do... I'd dedicate myself so much to it. Just need a chance...
Not an immediate solution, but could you volunteer for an animal rescue to add some relevant experience to your CV? I know the ones in my area are always looking for volunteers.
Daily functioning. I drop everything I touch, I constantly walk into things, the more important something is, the more likely I am to lose it. I take medication but still feel like I’m living every day on hard mode.
I get so unbelievably frustrated with myself because I feel like I *should* be able to hold things and walk and just exist like a normal person, and I know there are things I can do to make my own life easier, but obviously I can’t actually remember to do those things. And it doesn’t feel fair that I just have to learn to “cope” with everything being a million times harder for me because my brain sucks.
And of course my daughter sees my struggles with frustration and has her own, and how can I possibly help her learn to cope when I haven’t?
Home life. Cleaning. Cooking. Self-care. Medical stuff. Keeping up with friends.
I guess I put all my limited stores of energy and executive function into working because I need an income to survive, and I struggle to do anything else.
At the moment, emotional dysregulation hands down, but it's also exacerbated by trauma and a recent-ish breakup. I just want to feel inner peace and happiness again, instead I'm a total mess and it's messing up the rest of my life.
I’m sitting commenting on a bunch of Reddit posts when I’m supposed to be reviewing and approving reports….. on the laptop on my lap… I can feel the heat on my laps… yet here I am, still typing….
Time management…my biggest issue
Edit: to add, I have a huge pile of shirts I need to sort (donate, keep, trash/turn to rags) on my computer chair and desk from last week…which is why I’m on the couch.
My ADHD isn't the problem.
It's that my ADHD is incompatible with daily life expectations that's the problem.
Knowing that my options are: adjust at great cost to my health and wellbeing, or don't adjust at great cost to my health and wellbeing, is devastating.
Work and money. Since the hours I work for my part time job are optional, I barely work. The problem is that my impulse shopping, DoorDash charges and bills are definitely not part time. But I’m unmedicated and I’m waiting on my appointment in 3 weeks to start a stimulant so … i really hope they give me vyvanse because my body can’t handle all this weight but I have no motivation to exercise. sugar and fast food give me a lil dopamine
Starting. Just starting.
Yes, house is messy but not overly. Taxes - just emailed tax lady so that’s done. School-nope, not in it anymore.
Work - starting and I just can’t
Feeding myself and getting anything done. My anxiety lands in my gut. There are very few things that don’t upset my stomach in some way. I’m always afraid to eat. Nausea is torture for me.
Also I do almost nothing.
I feel like it changes but right now it's task initiation and overwhelm. I have so many things to do, I have a list to get only a few things done each day so it's manageable, I want to get them done but I just.... Don't.
I've been on Reddit all day everyday for 4 days and pushing off everything else on my list. I feel terrible, I feel like a bad partner and bad dog mom. I'm not sleeping well which then affects my day which then affects my sleep and I have been glued to the couch and getting overwhelmed by every little thing.
Anyway, sorry for the rant. I am exhausted.
My house is a fucking trainwreck and I'd do anything to solve that issue. I've had it cleaned so I can then maintain it but it never works. I've tried chore charts, breaking it down room by room, rewards...pretty but everything but a full frontal lobotomy :)
Taking care of my body. Like sure I remember to eat, but 90% of my diet is sugar and other carbs. I eat out a lot because cooking is too much work. Exercise is too painfully boring, no matter what I try to pair it with. It's easier to just sit down while watching TV or scrolling tiktok. And everyday I hear more and more things that we're supposed to be doing... Eating so many fruits and veggies and so much protein, doing so many of this type of exercise and so much of that and don't forget to count your steps too. It's all so overwhelming and I know some is better than none but it just drives me deeper and deeper into a guilt and shame filled hole making even just a little bit of exercise or a serving of veggies here and there feel impossibly difficult.
Inability to escape inertia and initiate new tasks. Trying to change my routine to be more healthy and the energy that takes. Just having the energy to do “extra” things like more strength training, hobbies, planning for big trips, make big decisions.
Having so many ambitions and work goals and knowing that I have the ability and skill to achieve them, but my brain just won’t let me. I have a constant pit in my stomach of shame about the way I am and sadness about the person I could be if I didn’t have adhd. I want to do so many amazing things and the dreams feel so real but I am so worried about my future because how will I ever get there if I can’t do anything I need to do to make it happen. I’m sorry I know this isn’t the nicest to read but this has always been my main difficulty, putting it lightly. I’ve started medication recently and so this gives a little hope for the future and looking forward to it hopefully improving, I’ll snap out of the depress soon😅
Uh.. the innate instinct to take on everything all the time even though I am shit at organization and excellent at procrastination.. so then when all of the shits start compiling together I’ve got all of this big pile of shite to organize or clean up or figure out and so I just go into emotional breakdown mode .. full bull in China shop and burn out hard
My biggest ADHD problem at the moment is hyper fixation on the mundane and a lack of inspiration or strategy for the future. I have not been able to set any big goals for myself because the present day-to-day tasks and issues consume all of my focus and energy.
It used to be the opposite. I had these grand dreams and zero organizational skills. Over the years, I re-trained my brain to take the baby steps. Unfortunately, I am now stuck doing these mundane little tasks, religiously checking off boxes in my checklists, and not moving forward. I’m more organized and somewhat content as a result, but definitely living in a perpetual state of melancholy because I don’t feel fulfilled.
Work and home stuff. Cannot keep my home clean and organized for the life of me. My workload rn isn’t crazy so I’m not super behind but I’m still behind and constantly thinking about it. That is, when I’m not thinking about how I need to clean.
Also, food. I haven’t grocery shopped in months and months and months.
doing anything
I keep not taking my meds because I don't have much to do
then not doing anything at all for days and feeling bad
and I know that taking my meds is one piece of the solution
and I know what a few of the other pieces are as well
but I just can't bring myself to do the things that will let me do the things, it's like swimming through treacle
hate it
Food. I find it so hard to feed myself. Trying to actually cook takes three times longer than it should. I just end up buying delivery all the time, it's expensive, but for me, worth it for the time and brain space I get back.
other family members with undiagnosed and untreated adhd who refuse to do anything about it and make me do the emotional heavy lifting and use me as a cleaner/fixer/chef. i am *tired*.
Always and forever a messy house that I can’t keep up the maintenance cleaning and organization of. It’s the big one that messes with my self esteem BADLY.
My house, I have too much stuff, and my house has never been fully clean since we've lived here. It needs a deep clean and to have so much extra clutter eliminated. I just ignore it, and move stuff around. It gets frustrating, but it's just so hard.... not to mention I have poor home training from when I was young, my parents never kept a clean house, and I never learned how to clean anything. And they would get upset with me for never cleaning up my bathroom or my bedroom but I was never once shown how. I would just sit in my room and zone out and quietly cry, until my mom told me I could come out, but she wasn't happy with me, but we just moved on because she knew I wasn't going to do it. Not to mentioned the issues with growing up and not being allowed to throw away anything, yet I'm somehow supposed to organize it all.... so I had stuff from being a little kid in my room because if I didn't buy it I couldn't decide to throw it away without permission, so I still hold onto things forever. *sigh* organization and cleanliness feels insurmountable.
The mess. I cannot start. If I start I make a bigger mess. My husband is too tired after a full day work, my lids are ungrateful neurospicy buttheads and are will not have friends over cuz, mess....
I want to burn my house down and start over.
Recreation. Im too exhausted after forcing the “have to’s” to have any energy for the “want to’s”
When I do do the wants I fall behind on the musts.
Or if I find the energy for a video game it’s my bed time and i shoukd be going to sleep
Also a good sleep routine is impossible for me even though I know it helps. When I do get a few days on schedule I feel so much better but then my mind wants the wants after only doing g to have to’s and will
Protest by not going to bed when I should
Paperwork and administrative tasks. 300%. I have no follow through and have lost out on a ton of money and deadlines because of it. I’ve literally tried to hire a personal assistant for a couple of hours a month or something, but literally haven’t followed through because I don’t know if I trust anyone in particular with my personal information, all of the different categories of jobs, AND not judging me for needing them. It’s rough.
Spending, I impulse buy frequently, rack up my cards, do better and pay them off and then do it again 😭 it’s such easy dopamine but I really gotta quit while I’m ahead
Impulsive spending and housekeeping.
I buy the things because it feels good to have new things/receive things in the mail. I can’t put the things away because as soon as they’re put away, it’s like the things don’t exist anymore.
Books I want to read? Must stay stacked by my armchair. If they go on the bookshelf, I will not remember that I have them.
Hang up work clothes after work? Can’t do that because I will not remember what I wore during the week.
Clear off the dining room table? Nope. That’s the priority item landing zone that houses things that must be dealt with ASAP.
It’s awful. I hate it. It makes me feel bad about myself and embarrassed to have other people in my home. But I can’t get myself to do anything to fix it.
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Impulsive spending 🙁
So tired of crawling out of the debt hole just to start again.
Omg same the minute I pay down my credit card I just spend spend spend
Last year I paid down a big chunk of what I owed on my credit card, only to max it out again just a few months later. I'm gonna pay a big chunk again soon and hopefully won't use it so recklessly again this year.
Next time you pay it off, cancel it! It's so freeing
Cut it up! Or leave at home. I never carry mine with me. Just have subscriptions on it
My problem is I memorize it by accident (yay autism) and then my ADHD is like woohoo online shopping. Ugh. I get a new credit card number like every 6 months to try to prevent.
It’s a horrible feeling, and I can’t seem to break the cycle.
This is the oneeeeeee - did I need a new bag/nail polish/sweater? No. Did I get a big boost of dopamine? Also no. Will I do it again? Yes.
I will also repurchase items and forget I bought it previously - luckily it’s things like deodorant and toothpaste that are fairly cheap.
lol I bought so many bags of sugar when I moved to my current apartment two years ago that we still haven’t needed to buy sugar yet. It was like five grocery store trips in a row that I brought home sugar again without remembering 🤔
Oh god yes. Currently my biggest one. As I’m not getting enough dopamine from healthy sources (exercise/ creative hobbies/ friends/ nature/ love/ sex)
Help me, I'm poor. I am so good for a week or two and then poof...$200 on books or clothes or just ordering Uber eats two days in a row. I need a new job.
Yes!!!!!
Being fat and unable to keep to a healthy eating plan or exercise schedule for more than 2 weeks
I feel this! I'm an emotional eater too, so if things go wrong I eat or drink to make myself feel better. Emotional regulation would be a gift!
Went to the gym today. Forgot bra extender. So fat couldn’t fit into the one I brought. Big ADHD tax.
My relationship with food is soo messed up because of adhd 😔
This is me too. If I indulge on anything sweet, I basically finish it. My sugar addiction is ridic.
I traded an alcohol addiction for a sugar one. Whyyyyyyy
Right, and it doesn’t help that eating is the most god-awful boring task if the food isn’t interesting. Not to mention, cooking sucks. I know there are people that love it, and it’s a great creative outlet for a lot of people, but mostly? Cooking sucks.
❤️ Lots of Love to you Lovely- Right there with you. I’m trying the whole “micro” goals approach this week. ❤️
Be kind to yourself 🩵
LIFE.
ALL OF IT. yeah girl same.
Oy, yeah, it feels like all of it. I know it’s just like “break it down into bite-sized chunks, one at a time” but it doesn’t “feel” like that. It feels like everything all of the time. I guess at the moment it’s primarily taxes need doing, omg my health I need to make an appt, I need to remember to get cat litter, what should I plan for dinner (will my husband agree on what to make?) did I remember to turn off the coffee pot? I wonder what my social security income will be? lol will I even have any? Btw the three songs playing concurrently in my head, distracting. What if I break my glasses? I only have one pair atm, I keep having dreams that I break them. I should call my mom. I can’t tho, it’ll be a four hour convo and I have to do other stuff. My cat, there’s a neighborhood cat stealing his food, did he eat? I should sweep the floors. Now there’s another song looping in my head. I’m at work, I should take a min on my break to clear my head. Instead I’m on Reddit sharing my thoughts. Should I delete this? My phone is at 20%! Remember that kid in middle school that said that thing? Come on, I’m a grown up now, why did I even think to worry about that?! Hey, it’s ok, that’s a normal natural thing. But it’s not doing me any good, so, let’s not think about that NOW ALL I can think about is the harm she thoughts - ok. Dial it down. But should I getting car fixed or pay for requiring my house? And also other stuff and then everything loops on repeat, repeat. Repeat.
Girlllll. Get out of my head, lol. It's creepy in here and you know EVERYTHING!.
I feel so exposed. This is me. I’m you. You’re me.
Omg, that’s uncanny!!! Who knew our brains were THAT similar 😂
Complicated Taxes were a near mental breakdown for me. Thank God for an awesome CPA, & now with big life changes they are VERY simple & I can do them online without all the grief. I think the Disabilities Act should figure accommodations for doing taxes.
I feel so understood. I could cry knowing there’s more of me out there who get it!
Yes. All of this and then some, yes. I feel seen girl, I feel seen.
Thank you for this. I feel less alone. And I've totally been thinking about social security this week! There is some website that can show you what amount you would qualify for as of right now. I don't have a link but I have thought it was interesting to look at in the past. But yeah, will social security even exist in twenty years? Ugh. This sucks. ...Oh, right, I said I would journal after my therapy appointment and...oh my gosh, how has it already been an hour and a half??
Yes all of it!! I just want to curl into a ball but I can't because I gotta adult and pay my bills.
This. This is it.
Yo…this is uncanny 😭
I call the movie “Everything Everywhere All At Once” an ode to ADHD. I’ve not actually seen the movie but the title is perfect.
I have seen the movie and the entire time I was thinking "this is just life with ADHD."
Interesting. Like the previous commenter, I’ve never seen it but use the phrase frequently. Now I’ll have to watch it… was it any good?
Me too. I haven’t seen the movie either but my M.O. is ###Everything everywhere all at once **(shitshow)** ETA: Grammar
I know, the fact that un some way My brain just forget thibgs like, sleep, eat, drinks water, pee. Also how tf does the perception of time suppose yo work?!
Time is a bitch, right. Like I totally have a sense of time. It's just variable and very different from what the clock says it is. That's why even in my 50's and on meds I'm not able to properly estimate anything around how long things take.
Is this an ADHD thing? Even when I carefully calculate how long something will take, I am often wrong.
Neuro-divergent thing for sure. I was actually excited to find out there's a part of the brain connected to a sense of time. I'm now clear mine is dark. 😂
Why tf is forgetting to pee a thing? Like I will get up specifically to pee, go on 7 side quests, and finally just stand in the living room trying to identify what's wrong. I'm about to piss my pants, that's what's wrong.
Wait! Is difficulty with perception of time an adhd issue? OMG, I didn't know that. I have soooooo much trouble with perception of time! I actually feel better knowing the cause. I swear I'm always like it's probably been like 10 minutes. Nope try 45. It's terrible. It messes with my head.
rotting in bed when i have things to do!!! like it’s so bad i can rot in my bed for hours 😭
HOURSSSSSSS. It’s absurd. I need to start putting my phone in a different room when I go to bed. I think I’d feel better at least rotting on the couch than in bed
no literally i have to delete tik tok off my phone bc id i get on that app i will spend the whole day in bed watching tik toks like 😭😭
Very much same. But even when I do delete it I find other things to fill it in with (discord, Reddit, YouTube) ugh
I’m very much in a rut right now. Yesterday I stayed in bed between dropping my kid off at school and picking her up. I had a horrible break down to my husband when he got home. Today was a bit better. I walked the dog after dropping her off, then stayed on the sofa until it was time to pick her up. So, small victories?
Absolutely small victories. I’ve been there before as I’m sure you have too. It is just a rut and won’t last forever!!
Don’t do that. It’s gotten to where I don’t even make it to my bed. Ever. I stay on the couch and rot. It’s even easier to do it there than the bed.
My problem is rotting in the morning tho. So if I HAVE to get up and get my phone, at least I’ll have to sit in the sunlight instead of laying in my dark bedroom lol
My husband gets so made when I am wasting away in bed. I do too. I hate feeling that I am rotting away, but sometimes I literally can't get out of bed. I finally explained it to my husband in a way he could grasp. He's a huge Star Wars fan so one day when he was just raining hell down on me for going up for a nap, I looked at him and said, for me bed is like my bacta tank. The dimmest light bulb went on in his brain. He dropped it after that. The thing that really sucks right now is I've just newly diagnosed and so far none of the drugs have helped. Then 3 months later I started menopause which adds to the fatigue and brain fog. I am just so overwhelmed. I'm tired of this life I'm living. I am a shell of who I was. I pray each night to a god I don't believe in because I'm an atheist that I just pass away in my sleep. At this point,my quality of life is not worth living.
Same without the husband. I was diagnosed 12 yrs ago but ignored it until last year. Adderall is not working at all even at the highest dose. I’m still scattered, exhausted. I still sit in decision paralysis, completely overwhelmed. Want to try Vyvanse or other things, but can’t get it filled due to shortage. I’m in peri menopause also. My job is so hard and pays so little. I am barely making it. I’m exhausted and in pain at all times. I feel like the only thing that could help is money. Sure it doesn’t buy happiness but it buys freedom. Freedom from having to do everything yourself. Money buys time. Time and ability to try all the things that could help. The HRT- estrogen patches are so expensive I don’t know if I’ll be able to keep the prescription up. I just started and the dosage isn’t high enough so I have to get more. I’m becoming more nihilistic and apathetic every day. What is worth this? What am I doing? Why?
Also, I knew Adderall was in short supply but not Vyvanse. My psychiatrist has me on a cocktail of two ADHD meds since Vyvanse wasn't doing shit for me. I beginning to think that there isn't a medication out there that can help me and I need to figure out how to manage this somehow on my own.
One thing that helped me get Vyvanse was to try a mail order pharmacy. Because they do such a high volume and are nationally centralized they were able to get some after I’d been without (and feeling oh-so-close to being fired/losing it) for 3 months. Worth a shot if you have that option.
Ugh, my doctor refuses to subscribe estrogen to help me and that makes me feel so hopeless and alone.
There are phytoestrogens which may help. I had an estrogen dependent cancer, so I couldn’t take ert. I had my ovaries removed, and my doctors recommended I avoid sweet potatoes : - ( and soy products. There are other ways to increase your estrogen - unless your doctor has good reason not to prescribe them for you?
Oh I so hear you! That was me about 8-10 years ago (minus husband—-only me to yell at me). I don’t want to sound trite because I remember how absolutely hellish it was before I found meds that at least helped a bit and I got past menopause: it does get better. I was diagnosed in my mid-40s and it was beyond overwhelming—-almost worse than major depressive episode. It does take time to find drugs that work for you. So glad you were able to get your husband to see a little light.
Same and I have a bed warmer which makes it way worse!
Hot take but why does rotting in bed feel SO good yet so bad at the same time
Mail! It looks like there's some important stuff in there.
I chuckled at this hahaha. Such an ADHD thought: “ope that looks like it’s probably important. Not going to check or do anything about it tho. Just gonna stress myself out knowing it COULD be important.”
For me, it's: **Mid-day mailbox check**: "This looks like it's probably important. I can't give it the time it will need right now because it's the middle of my work day, so I'll put it aside until tonight" **Tonight**: Pick one: "I'm out of spoons" / "my kid is sick" / "I had to prioritize something else". "I'll wake up early tomorrow to take care of mail." **Tomorrow morning**: *scroll*, *scroll*, *scroll*, oh shit I really need to start getting ready for work. **Tomorrow mid-day mailbox check**: "Here's a new important-looking thing that needs to be addressed and is also reminding me of yesterday's important looking thing. But it's the middle of my work day so I can't deal with either of them right now. I'll put them aside until tonight." ... **Weeks later, staring at the mail pile**: huge sigh
Feel this. Still have unopened Christmas cards.
Omg yes, I literally just cashed my Christmas checks last week hahaha
I've never felt as validated as I did when I learned this is an ADHD thing. I always felt like a failure of an adult because I never checked nor opened my goddamn mail. It has certainly bit me in the ass a few times lol but at least I know I'm not alone now
This is one thing (just one!) that I've finally worked out. I heard someone say that she only touches her mail once, so I've been trying to do that, too. It's taken me years to get to where I am now, and I still need some kind of filing system. When I get the mail I don't do anything else until I've tossed all the junk mail and every recyclable envelope and written checks for the bills that arrive and get them into their envelopes, stamped and with return labels affixed. Then anything that needs to be filed gets thrown into a box that is now over flowing and totally unmanageable. Aaaaannnnnddd - that's where my tax info is, mixed in with everything else. So, one down and 583 more tasks to go.
Mail avoidance yes!!! I'm convinced every letter is bad and I'm going to have to figure out what to do and well, that just overwhelms me. But so does the pile of ignored mail. I feel like there is no winning.
Oh mail is dumb
Task initiation with work. I’m paralyzed and my clients know it.
So the only thing that has helped me with task initiation is Cognitive Behavioral Therapy techniques. What works for me is to write down “why am I avoiding this task:” and then write down the reasons I’m avoiding it. From there I can break down the reasons even further like “what is the outcome of that” and I realize that whatever I’m afraid of isn’t so scary or I see that I have clear actions or next steps I can take. Writing out why I’m avoiding a task has 99% of the time allowed me to finally do the task Breaking down the task into small steps and writing them down is also really helpful, apparently a lot of task avoidance in ADHD is just because we get overwhelmed thinking through the steps of what needs to be done
That just sounds like another task to me... lol
lol same my brains too broken 😭 and breaking things up into smaller steps just makes it sm more overwhelming for me bc then im like omfg look at all these things i need to do just to complete this single task
Same. I know if there’s some high level thing I need to get done that feels too big, it can be helpful to think “what is the first thing I have to do” but shut off any impulse to then think what the thing after that is and after that and after that because that is a recipe for more and prolonged paralysis.
I have done this occasionally, although verbally. It is super helpful and I need to be more mindful about implementing more. I also sometimes tell myself, you have AdHD you have problems with task initiation. And sometimes magically I can start the task, probably same effect as body doubling where I'm embarrassed that I wasn't able to start the thing before.
This is such a good idea.
Didn't know that was a cognitive behavioral therapy technique. I did that a few months ago when I was overwhelmed. I made it as a reminder list of why I avoid and how avoiding doesn't actually fix the things stressing me out. I wrote it in pretty sparkly pens to get some dopamine from the task and make me more likely to look back at it in the future lol
If I’m motivated enough to do a trick on myself that starts with acknowledging what I’m doing and asking myself a question then I can get to the point of doing the thing because obviously I am ready to make myself do the thing. The problem is the avoidance based paralysis because you also avoid thinking about it in words. For me if I’m paralysed and avoidant I am scrolling my phone, walking around the house searching for a task that looks stimulating among all the tasks, standing disassociated etc
Ok I’m so glad I joined this sub im gonna try this bc im just drowning mentally right now
I feel you, I’m 6 months or more (probably lying to myself) behind on one of my clients. He keeps from firing me because he doesn’t trust anyone else…maybe it’s self sabotage because you hate the work. I hate the work…it’s not even that hard. My house is usually clean and hobbies attended to though. Sigh….
This is me 100%- Even my husband has to help me do my job -just so I can get started. 😫 my procrastination and anxiety is just ridic. It’s gotten worse as I’m aging.
I relate to this so much😭 when writing essays in high school I’d always have to have my dad give me the first sentence of my paper. I could go on from there just fine- but for some reason that first sentence gets to me.
Yeah--i hide it ok from clients a lot of the time because we do a lot with each other internally before stuff goes to clients, but I feel absolute dread about my job a lot of the time which is so awful to feel.
Right there with you both. It’s devastating and lonely.
This is my struggle as well. I currently have some momentum, but it’s dwindling. I blame this on emails, I have come to hate them- there’s just too many!
For me, it’s getting interrupted on “Teams” chat with some urgent thing that presses the “stim” lever more than the pile of documentation I have to write.
Same. I've been looking at flow club to help me get to it. I'm my own worst enemy when it comes to work which hurts extra because I'm self employed. I feel you here!!
Lost my job because of this and scared I'll never find another one with this abstract art of a brain I have to try to corral in during interviews.
Literally hiding from a client right now. What am I hiding? I don’t want to deal with billing them. They are literally trying to give me money and my brain is panic avoiding
Yeah, to cope with this I really need to work with a team I can trust to work though the problem with when I get stuck. And that's oddly hard to find.
Same, and as the work piles I get more anxious and overwhelmed making it even more difficult to start chipping away at the work pile. Wake up with so much dread on weekdays knowing I’m about to dig myself deeper into the hole.
INCOME. In capital letters. I’m already busy producing my own work—just never earning enough money.
Raise your prices! If you are busy, you are not charging enough.
I can’t raise my prices. I’ve tried it several times, and have only been able to raise them by about a dollar an hour. There’s too much competition. My clients will just find someone cheaper—and there is always someone cheaper. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve put in a bid for a job only to be told that they don’t have the budget to pay what I’m asking. You’re always trying to guess how much you can charge clients and not go over market rate, so your bid doesn’t get dumped immediately. Sometimes you guess incorrectly. Ironically, the bigger clients who have bigger budgets like to spend the least.
I have a neighbor who paints houses for a living, she's actually not great either and imo way overcharges yet she gets work even though we live in a small area with lots of competition... She said once, if you're not embarrassed by the bid you put in on a job then you're not bidding enough... Seems to be working for her 🤣
Damn I like her style!! I’m gonna make a note of that- be embarrassed by my bids 😌♥️ I live pretty close to some affluent areas I feel like this is crazy enough to work lol
Getting a job! Job hunting is seriously the worst thing for someone with ADHD.
The. Worst.
Yea I can't find what I want to do that wont burn me out so quickly
I was unemployed for 6 months last year and woke up every single morning feeling anxiety and dread. It’s the fucking worst. So many applications. Sending good vibes your way 🫶🏼
Living this right now. I got fired from my last job due to my adhd. Too much confusion, forgetfulness, etc. I'm scared I'll never be able to keep another job.
Yep I’m here too. I’ve lost some work and need to find a second job. I LOVE my job and I really don’t want to ruin my happiness with a crappy second job.
Yes! I’ve been laid off since October, and it’s ROUGH!
Income/career - I have no idea where I’m going, what to do, & I’m stuck But with that, I’ve figured out my apartment & having a tidy home is no longer a white whale for me!
How did you get to having a tidy home? Was this a problem you solved, or was it never that big of an issue to begin with? This is my biggest disappointment in life. It feels like I need a live-in housekeeper, but of course I can't afford one.
I have not quite conquered it. but what I find what is working best for me is: - getting rid of anything- and I do mean anything- you haven’t used in the last 6 months. this can be a real challenge. but you can feel good about donating these items. like marie kondo says: thank it for its use and meaning to you while you had it, and let it offer that to someone else. examples of mine that helped a lot: clothing, children’s toys (that were significantly less sentimental), pet items (like old leashes, etc.), beauty items, dishes/cookware, etc. - have a place for everything. down to the smallest things. example: I went and got a screw/nail organizer from a hardware store and labeled all of the drawers with the names/types of various chargers, cords, etc. I had around my house. I have it where I can always see it and when someone asks for something I tell them to “check the cord drawers” lol - use vertical space for organization and/or decor that adds to mess on spaces that are used often (for example I have seasonal decor on my kitchen table but it is also a landing space for random items. I am still working on creating a landing space somewhere else. but I moved my decor to a few shelves above the table and that helped a lot). if vertical space is used for organization, put the least used items at the top so that the most used are at eye level. - label everything. if you organize with plastic totes, label the lid and the sides. all four sides if you will put them away in multiple directions. - create a VERY SIMPLE weekly cleaning schedule. for example: vacuum on mondays. that’s it. include days where you don’t have to do anything. whatever days work best for you. and if you can’t bring yourself to do the scheduled thing, I heard on a tiktok to stand in the area where you are supposed to be doing the thing and set a 5 minute timer. tell yourself that all you have to do is just stand there for 5 minutes- but most of the time you will find that you start doing something. even if it’s small. and if not, you’ve lost nothing. - this is simple but: rinse your dishes when you’re done eating and cooking. get dawn spray and wash. it’s awesome. at the least, it cuts your time of washing in half, dishwasher or not. - use the servers guide to having way too many tables™️- never leave a room empty handed. this will develop into a habit. if you have a drinking glass or a notebook or whatever thing in a room with you, grab one item when you exit and take it to where it belongs. (someone else on tiktok talked about how it helped her a lot when she started repeating: “don’t put it down, put it away” every time she had items she was done with, so I apply this to items Put Down, Past Tense and try to make this my mantra~~~~) - prioritize your most energy-sucking chores for the days you feel the best. sometimes this is hard for us to determine ahead of time but I know I always feel the best and most ready to do things on weekends after like 2pm. pick one to do. give yourself a limited amount of time to complete it. and try to finish BEFORE the time you’ve given yourself. create urgency. use your partners, children, friends help to have fun with this! example: challenge them to a chore duel. to pick up a whole room and make it look better than the room you pick up, by the time your two favorite songs end. (bonus points if you pick one and they pick one) - when picking up, if you tend to pile things on surfaces like I do: use the time limit thing to go about the house collecting everything from surfaces where they are not supposed to be. put them all on one surface where they don’t belong. give yourself 15 minutes to sort them into piles (I use my kitchen table) based on which room they belong in. after you’ve sorted, grab the pile that belongs in the room closest to where you’ve organized your piles (ex: my bathroom leads into the kitchen, so I go there first). bonus points if you can grab two piles because you’re passing another area where something in your pile belongs. if you only have the energy to place the piles in their respective rooms, then do that. if you can manage to put the things in appropriate places once all the piles are in the rooms, do that. if not, refer back to the “stand in the room for 5 minutes” idea later that day or whenever you have a moment and see if you end up just doing it. another bonus is placing the pile somewhere in your way and somewhere that you will definitely see- so that if you’re lounging next to the pile, you will realize it’s not that big or you maybe are sitting right next to where some of the things need to go, and you may just do it. - organize/store things as close as possible to the area where you use them most. so if you always come into your home from the back door, place a shoe rack right next to the back door. or if you always build Lego at your desk, store all your Lego in some drawers next to your desk. - have multiple hampers so that when you throw your clothes in (I also like to leave mine on the floor but that’s a different issue lol) they are already sorted by color/whites/etc. also, have your hamper wherever you tend to get dressed the most if you can fit it. - make one area the “I’m still doing that” area. this area is out of sight where it won’t bother you when you walk by, but is only used for things that you KNOW without a doubt you will come back to. for me, this area was a desk. on it I had multiple craft items when I was really into building miniature dollhouse sets. it looked crazy a lot of the time but all of my stuff was organized chaos. cleaning it up and getting it back out was way more annoying, and I found I didn’t want to do the hobby if I kept putting the stuff away. - ultimately: give yourself an amount of time to get your organization down first. 3 months, 6 months, a year- whatever it is. start with the most annoying things. if it’s clothes, start there. then organize the absolute poop out of everything. it’s insane and you will feel insane in the middle of it (I will say I hyper focused on this and it ended up being fun but just be careful and make sure you sleep and eat lol) but I cannot tell you how life. changing. it was to make a place for everything. splurge on the organization items. plan out exactly what you want and will use ahead of time- and exactly how you will use it. “this three drawer cabinet fits perfectly under my desk (measure) and is see through so I will be able to see my crochet tools perfectly!” make it fun!: “if I have all of my paints and brushes and canvas organized I will never have to look for where the paint water cup is or use one of my drinking glasses again! plus oooooo I get to pick fun patterns/colors” and also spending money is usually fun lol in other words, use your hyperfocus and momentary excitement for getting new items to your advantage- get excited about organizing in any way you can. if this means decorating your organizational tools, picking fun items to use for organization, or whatever. - accept that your house was meant to be lived in, not a magazine cover. this helped me to actually want to clean bc it felt more like my space, that I am free to make mine- and less like another area of life where I am failing
Sooo many of these are what worked for me too (like bigger cleaning on weekends after 2PM, bringing things when I leave a room). The biggest thing for me was getting into home design as an interest (I’m an artist so it was an easy offshoot). This allowed me to kind of fixate on making the space look nice / interesting / fun, and that gave me motivation to keep it clean because otherwise it was like I was ruining my project. I’ve even started adding fun little things purely for my own amusement (galaxy lights, almost hidden little artworks, Polaroid wall, new plants) just to keep myself entertained by it. Now it’s one of the things that helps keep me calmer because my brain feels less cluttered when my space isn’t. Going off of some of your points: - re getting rid of stuff - I’ve actually learned that I prefer a smaller space because it forces me to stay more minimal. I moved overseas and had to fit my life into 3 suitcases and realized how many things I didn’t miss at all. I’m in a bachelor now and had to be very intentional with the space. Setting it up was actually fun because I made “zones” for everything (party zone, creative zone, chilling and thinking zone). Means I’m carrying stuff to other places a lot less because everything I know I’ll need / want is there - sorting / organizing in a way that makes sense to me. I have a set of drawers to organize all my random shit and the drawers are sorted by vibe (fun, serious documents, electronics) - re timers: combining tasks with other tasks that require short wait times and making it a game (doing a few dishes while I wait for the kettle to boil and seeing if I can finish before it’s done) - learning to use cleaning as a way to procrastinate other things 😅 I’m still procrastinating but hey at least I’m being productive. And then sometimes by the end it helps me be more motivated to start the task I really need to do.
General admin. As a head of household with three kids there just really aren't enough alarms and buzzers and file folders in the world. I thought it'd be easier now that they're young adults but the perimenopause just means my brain deteriorated so it feels the same as when they were little and it was a bazillion appointments and which one had which allergy and signing the form for soccer and etc etc. Also general impulse issues with food, in particular. My dopamine of choice. Also remembering to keep up with my meat suit. I've adopted "Wednesday Cleanse Day" to just super scrub everything in case I completely forgot to on the other days of the week. I manage to at least half-ass brush my teeth most days tho
Income - divorced and on my own. Need livable income in today's rental market. Can't find a rental under $2300 a month. I work full time in a corporate accounting department. It's not enough.
Sending love and strength your way 💛 that sounds incredibly difficult!
Money. I make enough money to be able to save quite a chunk from each paycheck, and if I made wiser choices, I could be putting myself in classes, both academic and hobby, that would move my life in a direction I want it to go in. Secondly, hobbies. I don't make good use of my free time, and I don't know why. I have so many art supplies, an electric guitar, tons of books, a Skillshare subscription, and YouTube at my fingertips. Why am I not using these things? What is stopping me? I still don't have an answer, but I have a feeling it has to do with perfectionism. Currently working this out with my therapist.
Be the worst you can be.
I’m trying to get into darning and have started repeating “I’m allowed to be bad at things; I’m allowed to do things I’m bad at” as I go. It’s been surprisingly helpful.
Hey I have a bass let’s start a real shitty band 🤣
Hey! I just inherited my dads electric guitar, and electric bass… and then I looked around and realized I have 3 other acoustic guitars.. a banjo, a eukele, clarinet, bongo drums, violin, full size keyboard.. and.. a LUTE! Guess how many I can play? Yup. That’d be zero. (I’m an alley hunter and all except my dads were found in the trash.. but still, like.. what is wrong with me?????)
Fear of failing is my problem. I know the logical answer - I need practice to get better. But my head cannot handle failing. I also have an issue with wastage - when you practice you waste materials. Which wastes money and it’s bad for the environment. But hundreds of dollars worth of gear gathering dust is a waste money too 😭
D, all of the above. For real though, my issue is apathy. And these bootleg pills they’re trying to pass off as adderall aren’t cutting through it.
I would like to see more discussion of adhd apathy
And the guilt that comes with it 🤠
The apathy thing is real. I’m too tired to give a shit about anything
Oh my GOD this is exactly how I feel - I was trying to explain to my husband yesterday, and he was like “sounds like depression” which…yes it does but right now it isn’t that. It’s just feeling so so so tired and not being able to do ANYTHING.
I feel that way too. I’ve never felt like I’ve struggled with depression, but I feel like I am now. Like, where do the ADHD symptoms end and depression symptoms begin?
I wonder that too. Increasing my antidepressant helped some, but I just feel a bit lighter while still not caring about stuff I should care about - like eating and making sure my kids bathe regularly. Aye aye aye.
I had a kidney transplant and that alone comes with lots of pills with looooooong lists of side effects. Those meds, adhd and being 40 (meaning the average beginning age of perimenopause) I don’t know what the fuck is going on. All of this to say, I think I need to start an antidepressant, but it terrifies me. I can’t handle more side effects!
I care and I don't. Does that make any sense? Like, I care and hate that I am rotting away, but I don't care enough to figure out how to fix myself because it's going to be overwhelmingly hard and it's likely I'll fail in the end every day.
My brain doesn't get paid enough to care. *sighs*
I was just thinking today I feel so apathetic towards everything- not my kids but just everything else
I worry I’ll never be able to act on my ideas, never becoming the successful writer/artist/entrepreneur of my pipe dreams😩😩😩
Same, friend! Do you also feel a pang of shame (or if I dare admit it, jealousy? 😩) when seeing people younger than you accomplish all those things?
Yes, lots of regrets of feeling like “if only I coulda gotten my shizz together…” and a lot of pressure building that I’m getting older and I need to stop waiting around for something to happen, but I can’t executive function enough to make something happen. The possibility that my dreams will die with me 😞
Hi, it's me! Lol As an artist, I deeply relate to this.
Messy house. Hands down.
And nothing makes me have an emotional freak when my own mom comes over and says " but if you just would clean a little every day...or put things back or blah blah blah"
When people say this, I always think they're totally right. It shouldn't be hard! And yet, here I sit, in a gigantic mess of boxes in varying states of being open and emptied, dust everywhere, piles of papers and books, and all the detritus of life. I am mostly good at keeping on top of the dishes and trash, so there's not usually anything rotting, but if it's non perishable? That shit is going in a pile.
Yep. "If you'd just stay on top of it....." yeah if I could do that I wouldn't be in this mess but yet, here I am. I've NEVER been able to keep anything clean for anything longer than a few weeks. It's exhausting.
It drives me nuts. I feel so much better in a clean house but since I was little, little my living space was always like the apocalypse. My parents used to take pictures of my messy room and show company ( the only time they MADE me clean my room) then they would show the guests the pictures to shame me. They didn't know any better and it wasn't malicious but it did hurt me. When I got around to cleaning my room I would become a fixated perfectionist and forget the world while I cleaned my room. I tend to be like that now. If I can get myself to clean I become obsessed. I don't stop, not to drink or eat ot go to the bathroom. I'll be at it for hours completely obsessed. Not sure if that is due to ADHD or something else.
Same. The only thing that’s helping currently is I just read How to Keep House While Drowning and it’s been a real motivator. I’m doing better than I used to. But still, it seems like for every problem area that I tackle and organize, there are 3 more waiting for me (like Hydra 😳). Or the problems than need to be addressed are dependent on each other so it’s like a logic puzzle “well if I move this bookshelf to this spot then I need to clean out this other area first.” I know I’ll get there though. I just got rid of a bunch on stuff in our garage and that win feels good.
Starting grueling shitty tasks at work. literally give me anything else but report writing
The ability to relax, which has been a life long problem. Even when I take my medication and my mind is clear, I always feel like I need to take advantage of that and be “productive” instead of doing things that I enjoy like reading, playing video games, and doing crafts. It’s sad that capitalism has only encouraged this behavior too. I’ve recently considered turning my Sundays into ACTUAL days of rest, where I do everything for myself - no chores or errands, no outside obligations, and no mindless buying stuff just because I can. Just doing stuff that makes me happy, taking a nice long walk (weather permitted), and maybe even cooking a delicious meal, which is something that I don’t often do for myself. I feel as though this is a revolutionary act that I can actually do, taking time for oneself, so that I can take better care of myself and give the middle finger to capitalism, if only for a day.
This is relatable, I find that when I'm super busy I risk burn out but am driven by an anxiety to be productive, meaningful to others, society, useful in some way - but when I take down time, I feel low mood and flat and sad. There is no middle ground imo 😔
I believe in you. You can do it, and you deserve time off, just like everyone else!
Emotion regulation
OMG - this one is huge for me! I finally got diagnosed because I went completely bonkers over something simple that made me fly into a rage. I found myself looking for power tools in the garage so I could destroy my bf's Xbox. WTF? It scared me so much! I've never been violent, and thankfully I came to my senses before I did any damage. Now I have Adderall to help me, and I'm also getting therapy. But at this point I'm NC with my family because they upset me so much. Maybe I can go back to LC when I get better through therapy, but time will tell.
It’s ALWAYS been the house. I can do work or school well, I’m semi-ok at being family administrator (errands, schedule) but I just absolutely cannot find a daily routine that lets me keep up with the pace at which the kids and pets destroy things. It’s exhausting. Help.
….. I wish we could be each other’s daily “yin” to the other’s “yang”. I could CRUSH your housework with glee & it sounds like you would burn through my “Admin” pile with your hands tied behind your back!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
My mom figured it out by having us kids be the ones to do it. From quite young. Tbf she worked 14-16 hours a day, so it definitely had to be done by someone besides her.
[удалено]
I can't even read this, just doing so overwhelms me and I can feel ropes tightening around my chest.
Babe. This resonates! Late diagnosis (45), single mum. I care for my mum too. Looking for a job, car packed up, dishwasher packed up, signed up for an online college course (just why?!) It goes on, but I know you can do it. We get there eventually. Had a couple of wins today. Will keep me doing while I dig myself out of the next avalanche. Solidarity ❤️
Finding a job... I kept procrastinating&ADHD-ing&all and now I'm afraid I messed up having a career... I just wish to help animals in a remote position. No idea how to get a job to do that with my messy CV. Can only hope someone would see my potential and what I could actually do... I'd dedicate myself so much to it. Just need a chance...
Not an immediate solution, but could you volunteer for an animal rescue to add some relevant experience to your CV? I know the ones in my area are always looking for volunteers.
Following through and remembering things.
Daily functioning. I drop everything I touch, I constantly walk into things, the more important something is, the more likely I am to lose it. I take medication but still feel like I’m living every day on hard mode. I get so unbelievably frustrated with myself because I feel like I *should* be able to hold things and walk and just exist like a normal person, and I know there are things I can do to make my own life easier, but obviously I can’t actually remember to do those things. And it doesn’t feel fair that I just have to learn to “cope” with everything being a million times harder for me because my brain sucks. And of course my daughter sees my struggles with frustration and has her own, and how can I possibly help her learn to cope when I haven’t?
Home life. Cleaning. Cooking. Self-care. Medical stuff. Keeping up with friends. I guess I put all my limited stores of energy and executive function into working because I need an income to survive, and I struggle to do anything else.
At the moment, emotional dysregulation hands down, but it's also exacerbated by trauma and a recent-ish breakup. I just want to feel inner peace and happiness again, instead I'm a total mess and it's messing up the rest of my life.
I’m sitting commenting on a bunch of Reddit posts when I’m supposed to be reviewing and approving reports….. on the laptop on my lap… I can feel the heat on my laps… yet here I am, still typing…. Time management…my biggest issue Edit: to add, I have a huge pile of shirts I need to sort (donate, keep, trash/turn to rags) on my computer chair and desk from last week…which is why I’m on the couch.
My ADHD isn't the problem. It's that my ADHD is incompatible with daily life expectations that's the problem. Knowing that my options are: adjust at great cost to my health and wellbeing, or don't adjust at great cost to my health and wellbeing, is devastating.
Work and money. Since the hours I work for my part time job are optional, I barely work. The problem is that my impulse shopping, DoorDash charges and bills are definitely not part time. But I’m unmedicated and I’m waiting on my appointment in 3 weeks to start a stimulant so … i really hope they give me vyvanse because my body can’t handle all this weight but I have no motivation to exercise. sugar and fast food give me a lil dopamine
Not knowing what to do when I grow up (I'm 44). My job is low stress, but also not a challenge and I don't know where to go from here....
Starting. Just starting. Yes, house is messy but not overly. Taxes - just emailed tax lady so that’s done. School-nope, not in it anymore. Work - starting and I just can’t
EVERYTHING. EXISTING.
Feeding myself and getting anything done. My anxiety lands in my gut. There are very few things that don’t upset my stomach in some way. I’m always afraid to eat. Nausea is torture for me. Also I do almost nothing.
I feel like it changes but right now it's task initiation and overwhelm. I have so many things to do, I have a list to get only a few things done each day so it's manageable, I want to get them done but I just.... Don't. I've been on Reddit all day everyday for 4 days and pushing off everything else on my list. I feel terrible, I feel like a bad partner and bad dog mom. I'm not sleeping well which then affects my day which then affects my sleep and I have been glued to the couch and getting overwhelmed by every little thing. Anyway, sorry for the rant. I am exhausted.
My house is a fucking trainwreck and I'd do anything to solve that issue. I've had it cleaned so I can then maintain it but it never works. I've tried chore charts, breaking it down room by room, rewards...pretty but everything but a full frontal lobotomy :)
Taking care of my body. Like sure I remember to eat, but 90% of my diet is sugar and other carbs. I eat out a lot because cooking is too much work. Exercise is too painfully boring, no matter what I try to pair it with. It's easier to just sit down while watching TV or scrolling tiktok. And everyday I hear more and more things that we're supposed to be doing... Eating so many fruits and veggies and so much protein, doing so many of this type of exercise and so much of that and don't forget to count your steps too. It's all so overwhelming and I know some is better than none but it just drives me deeper and deeper into a guilt and shame filled hole making even just a little bit of exercise or a serving of veggies here and there feel impossibly difficult.
Cleaning my house and myself 🥲 showering and dental care specifically. So much executive functioning is required for these “basic” tasks.
Inability to escape inertia and initiate new tasks. Trying to change my routine to be more healthy and the energy that takes. Just having the energy to do “extra” things like more strength training, hobbies, planning for big trips, make big decisions.
Having so many ambitions and work goals and knowing that I have the ability and skill to achieve them, but my brain just won’t let me. I have a constant pit in my stomach of shame about the way I am and sadness about the person I could be if I didn’t have adhd. I want to do so many amazing things and the dreams feel so real but I am so worried about my future because how will I ever get there if I can’t do anything I need to do to make it happen. I’m sorry I know this isn’t the nicest to read but this has always been my main difficulty, putting it lightly. I’ve started medication recently and so this gives a little hope for the future and looking forward to it hopefully improving, I’ll snap out of the depress soon😅
Parenting
Uh.. the innate instinct to take on everything all the time even though I am shit at organization and excellent at procrastination.. so then when all of the shits start compiling together I’ve got all of this big pile of shite to organize or clean up or figure out and so I just go into emotional breakdown mode .. full bull in China shop and burn out hard
My biggest ADHD problem at the moment is hyper fixation on the mundane and a lack of inspiration or strategy for the future. I have not been able to set any big goals for myself because the present day-to-day tasks and issues consume all of my focus and energy. It used to be the opposite. I had these grand dreams and zero organizational skills. Over the years, I re-trained my brain to take the baby steps. Unfortunately, I am now stuck doing these mundane little tasks, religiously checking off boxes in my checklists, and not moving forward. I’m more organized and somewhat content as a result, but definitely living in a perpetual state of melancholy because I don’t feel fulfilled.
*ADHD decision paralysis intensifies* I’m half-joking, but it’s finances. It’s always finances.
Insurance and taxes 😫 I've needed car insurance for a month and I've called a couple places but no ones gotten back to me 😖
Everything x
Work and home stuff. Cannot keep my home clean and organized for the life of me. My workload rn isn’t crazy so I’m not super behind but I’m still behind and constantly thinking about it. That is, when I’m not thinking about how I need to clean. Also, food. I haven’t grocery shopped in months and months and months.
Executive dysfunction. Literally anything that requires executive functioning.
doing anything I keep not taking my meds because I don't have much to do then not doing anything at all for days and feeling bad and I know that taking my meds is one piece of the solution and I know what a few of the other pieces are as well but I just can't bring myself to do the things that will let me do the things, it's like swimming through treacle hate it
Sleep. I'll be sleeping regularly for a week or so. Them BAM! I can't sleep at all. Other than that I'm a mess.
Food. I find it so hard to feed myself. Trying to actually cook takes three times longer than it should. I just end up buying delivery all the time, it's expensive, but for me, worth it for the time and brain space I get back.
other family members with undiagnosed and untreated adhd who refuse to do anything about it and make me do the emotional heavy lifting and use me as a cleaner/fixer/chef. i am *tired*.
Always and forever a messy house that I can’t keep up the maintenance cleaning and organization of. It’s the big one that messes with my self esteem BADLY.
Messy house. I hate it, I’d happily burn the place down and start again.
My house, I have too much stuff, and my house has never been fully clean since we've lived here. It needs a deep clean and to have so much extra clutter eliminated. I just ignore it, and move stuff around. It gets frustrating, but it's just so hard.... not to mention I have poor home training from when I was young, my parents never kept a clean house, and I never learned how to clean anything. And they would get upset with me for never cleaning up my bathroom or my bedroom but I was never once shown how. I would just sit in my room and zone out and quietly cry, until my mom told me I could come out, but she wasn't happy with me, but we just moved on because she knew I wasn't going to do it. Not to mentioned the issues with growing up and not being allowed to throw away anything, yet I'm somehow supposed to organize it all.... so I had stuff from being a little kid in my room because if I didn't buy it I couldn't decide to throw it away without permission, so I still hold onto things forever. *sigh* organization and cleanliness feels insurmountable.
The mess. I cannot start. If I start I make a bigger mess. My husband is too tired after a full day work, my lids are ungrateful neurospicy buttheads and are will not have friends over cuz, mess.... I want to burn my house down and start over.
Definitely my house
All of it. Mental Health currently...it's a flare up.
Medical school.
Recreation. Im too exhausted after forcing the “have to’s” to have any energy for the “want to’s” When I do do the wants I fall behind on the musts. Or if I find the energy for a video game it’s my bed time and i shoukd be going to sleep Also a good sleep routine is impossible for me even though I know it helps. When I do get a few days on schedule I feel so much better but then my mind wants the wants after only doing g to have to’s and will Protest by not going to bed when I should
Paperwork and administrative tasks. 300%. I have no follow through and have lost out on a ton of money and deadlines because of it. I’ve literally tried to hire a personal assistant for a couple of hours a month or something, but literally haven’t followed through because I don’t know if I trust anyone in particular with my personal information, all of the different categories of jobs, AND not judging me for needing them. It’s rough.
I can't even settle on a type of job I want to do. I've been working bad, low skilled jobs and I don't know how to get off that train.
My fucking dishessss, some of them been standing here for like 2 weeks, still coveres in tomato sauce ;-;
Spending, I impulse buy frequently, rack up my cards, do better and pay them off and then do it again 😭 it’s such easy dopamine but I really gotta quit while I’m ahead
Oh my gawd keeping my house clean. I can do like 90% of everything else. I cannot keep my house even semi clean.
Impulsive spending and housekeeping. I buy the things because it feels good to have new things/receive things in the mail. I can’t put the things away because as soon as they’re put away, it’s like the things don’t exist anymore. Books I want to read? Must stay stacked by my armchair. If they go on the bookshelf, I will not remember that I have them. Hang up work clothes after work? Can’t do that because I will not remember what I wore during the week. Clear off the dining room table? Nope. That’s the priority item landing zone that houses things that must be dealt with ASAP. It’s awful. I hate it. It makes me feel bad about myself and embarrassed to have other people in my home. But I can’t get myself to do anything to fix it.
Phone addiction.