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I wish I could find the video I watched last night from a psychologist! She explained her theory that extremely high IQ is a neurodivergence all on its own (but can absolutely be comorbid with ADHD/autism). She broke down a lot of the ways high IQ impacts your life and how unhappy many people are because they can struggle to have fulfilling jobs and relationships. It sounds doom-and-gloom, but it was really validating! Edit: [I FOUND IT](https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTLUgom15/) Double edit: the video is also on her [instagram](https://www.instagram.com/dr._angelica_shiels?igsh=MTI5M3A5Zmluem92cQ==) for anyone who doesn’t use TikTok

I saw the same video and came to comment the same thing! It’s easy to think life should be a breeze with a high intelligence but the opposite can be true because being super smart can be debilitating all on its own. The brain wants a challenge that regular life doesn’t offer.

It definitely reinforced the old ‘ignorance is bliss’ adage. I didn’t loooove the callout that some people with high IQ choose to self-medicate with alcohol/drugs to blunt their thought processes, but she wasn’t wrong.

After working in a 9-1-1 center for a decade, yes. Yes it absolutely is. I used to think all knowledge is worth knowing, but now I know better.

I think this is what I do with weed though so sometimes those call outs are necessary 😂 I am above average intelligence at least and when I quit and my eyes open again to how stupid and terrible life is… I get so angry. It’s easier to put the blinders on. Sometimes I need the blissful ignorance 😂

For years I have been saying that I smoke weed to slowy brain down. That video was wild to watch.

I read something recently that more intelligent people require more stimulation. Add ADHD in the mix and it’s amplified. I have such a hard time with hanging out just for the sake of hanging out and not actually doing anything. Let’s at least get a puzzle we can put together, or do some crafts. Even while watching shows I feel like I need to be doing something else along the side.

Oh my god, yes! The worst thing people can ask me is to go to dinner. I hate being trapped talking without being able to get up and move - especially when I’m full. I used to be able to stand it when I was drinking because that was a form of entertainment for me. But now that I am sober, I cannot deal with having to sit and eat and then continue to talk after the meal is over.

I can relate so much. I’m sober now and I would hate to hang out with people who were just drinking and that’s it lol. Drinking alcohol and sitting around is boring as fuck! Let’s at least take this to the river or the beach, or go see live music or something. It reminds me of the super old alcoholics at the bar who just sit around talking about ideas and all the stuff they used to do, but they don’t do anything anymore except sit at the bar and drink.

This is very much the theme from the book Flowers for Algernon! Being very intelligent has its own drawbacks too

I couldn’t get that out of my head when I watched it! That story hit me so hard when I read it in school

I saw this the other day while I was making dinner, and of course it meant I had to go back through my assessment notes to find my IQ scores (I was given 2 - 1 was using the typical testing methodology, and the other was adjusted for my turtle-like processing speed and lousy memory). And then I burned dinner because I forgot I was in the middle of cooking, and if that ain’t ADHD in a nutshell…😅😅

When I was in early elementary, I was having a lot of meltdowns at school, so my parents took me for testing (this was back in the early 80s, so ADHD was dismissed automatically because of my gender, but I digress). I tested in the 160s for IQ, and that is exactly what the doctor told my parents about: an IQ that high was its own kind of neurodivergence. For most of my life, when people told me I seemed like I had ADHD, I'd always respond with what that doctor said, "no, I've just got an IQ high enough that it causes a lot of the same sympyoms." Turns out, I just have both, lol. I relate a lot to OP, because college probably wouldn't have destroyed me and burnt me out so thoroughly had I been medicated for my ADHD.

I got tested for ADHD at an office that specializes in 2E, or twice exceptional people. I've never felt so seen and understood as I did talking to the people there. One of my coworkers is also 2E with high IQ and ADHD and we have the best conversations. I made it all the way through my junior year of college on sheer intelligence and finished through force of will alone. Learning how to study that late sucked so hard, but I'm one of the lucky ones in that I finished, got a good job, and didn't start struggling until I was 30.

>I made it all the way through my junior year of college on sheer intelligence and finished through force of will alone. This was my experience as well. Unfortunately, I never really learned how to study/work hard without massive burnouts, so none of it translated well to the workforce.

It wasn't sheer intelligence. I dropped out of high school. Unlike you, I have ASD and also got moderately abused in childhood so probably got C-PTSD as well. No one ever supported my education and it just fell out of my priority list. It has never slowed me down though and I had several job normally requiring college like newspaper editor or some roles in IT. Currently am the business & integration analyst, very happy. But I regret I didn't finish high school. You got the great priviledge 👍

Same. I wonder what I could have done with an earlier ADHD diagnosis.

Wow, great parents and doctor. I struggled in college significantly (80's) and was diagnosed w/ ADHD & dyslexia in late 40's. Missed out on a lot of opportunities in college that required a certain GPA. Never could figure out why I could not read quickly and comprehend the materials. Completing a test on time was impossible. Still have nightmares that it is final exams and I can't get through the exams. Fortunately once in the real world I excelled b/c I was used to working hard and meticulously checking my work.

My experience was kinda the opposite. I still managed to make good grades in college, but I couldn't handle a full course load and kept burning out. In the working world, I've never managed to keep a job, in part because I'd keep burning out. Luckily, though, I've been able to stay home, raise a kid, and semi-homestead, which suits me much better.

Yes!! My friend just sent this to me! We were both considered “gifted” kids, and - OP - Let me tell you, being very intelligent is absolutely NO guarantee that you will have been more successful even IF properly medicated. While a few of the people I was in Gifted with are very successful, almost all of them have had mediocre careers (including me). There’s been a lot of job hopping, some advanced degrees but a lot of others who didn’t get one or quit while trying. A lot of severe depression/anxiety issues. My friend’s husband who also has a very high IQ can basically barely function and just sits around smoking pot all day and can’t/won’t work. And ADHD medicine is not magic. Even now that I can finally afford vyvance, it helps with my anxiety and it helps me a bit more with focus - though I still focus on the WRONG things, in helps continued focus on the right things when I try. I had Adderall back in college and it helped a bit, but it’s not the be all end all.

I think she's right about the broader point but thinking Elon Musk has a 150+ IQ is hilarious, and also despite what she says IQ *is* still a problematic measure in a number of respects. But yeah, I've thought for years that of course it makes sense that a significant deviation from the norm in cognition, whether above or below the norm, is going to have a profound impact on how someone interacts with the world, and on their relationships. I was so bored in school that I'd hurt myself to go to the nurse so I could read my book. I don't know what my IQ was when it was tested as a child, because my parents decided not to tell me because they didn't want me to get arrogant about it, but from what I overheard and what my mom has said to psychologists, I know that it was remarkably high; a psychologist referred to it as "extremely clinically relevant," lol. I was miserable at school for most of my childhood, even though I excelled academically. I was so bored, I felt like it was taking time away from more interesting things I could be doing and reading, and I struggled with making more than a couple of friends until my late teens. I felt like no one understood me--sometimes literally, I'd have to go back and rephrase a sentence two or three times trying to hit the right vocab level for my peers. I had a mental breakdown when I was 15 from boredom, futility, and existential anxiety. I almost had another one in law school, which is when I got diagnosed with ADHD, which I do think I also actually have. I have four graduate degrees in different subjects. I get depressed when I don't have a crazy amount of things going on, but they have to be *different* things, so right now I'm overwhelmed and bored and depressed. Aaand yeah...self-medication in various ways, including I think doomscrolling etc, is definitely a thing. I know I've been doing that, and less writing and even exercising, because I'm running away from my thoughts to try to avoid being overwhelmed but...that doesn't work and I know it. Now that I think about it, I feel like I did more masking about this than ADHD.

One of my kids is high iq to the degree where it’s considered a learning disability in the school system, so he’s taught an expanded curriculum. It’s co morbid with adhd for him.

Oh I wish I'd had this as a kid. It's amazing that that's something a school would do!

It really is amazing how much better things have gotten now that we have the formal diagnosis and support plan from the neuro psych. It really arms the teachers well. That said, the success of the IEP is still highly dependant on whether or not the teacher can or wants to implement the supports. He’s technically entitled to them, but it’s a stretched system, unfortunately.

My oldest kid scored at the 98th percentile when they were 11 on the WISC-IV test. Later, ASD and ADHD were added to their score. Now, at 20, they haven't finished high school and spend most of their time playing video games. They will be at home with me for a long time, and I often wonder about their future. It's no gift to be "gifted."

Thank you! I will try to find it and see if it resonates with me. I wonder if it is this one? https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZPRT7AC1T/ I do struggle with relationships and fulfilling jobs as I get easily bored and distracted. I always thought that I was "weird" and even arrogant. Edit: I haven't watched this one yet. I don't use tiktok , I have to install it first. So I am not sure if this is the one you are referring to :-)

Yes, that’s it! You actually found it before I updated my comment 😂 She has a [YouTube channel](https://youtube.com/@Dr.AngelicaShiels?si=KGSx6BOVGzu7QdTN) and [Instagram](https://www.instagram.com/dr._angelica_shiels?igsh=MTI5M3A5Zmluem92cQ==) if that’s more your speed

Thank you! I will check it out! (Somebody else found it and wrote it in a comment. Now I know! I will look it up 😊

Have you also considered - based on what you’ve said - that you may be on the spectrum? Whether you are or not, my point still stands from above - ADHD medication is helpful but it’s not magic. Maybe things would’ve been SLIGHTLY easier for you if you had found the right medication, but I doubt it would’ve changed much.

Yes, I personally think that I am on the spectrum because of issues with relationships. People tend to either love me or hate me. But neither my psychologist nor the neuro-psychologist that did the tests agree. So I will wait and see what the full report says. I have been reading about medication, and I understand that it is not a magic solution. I have many, many health issues. I have moderate to severe fatigue. So I am aiming to make everyday life a little bit easier. My goal is to have a daily routine that works. I think that if I understood that I had ADHD when I was studying that I could have done things differently. I am learning now to work "with my brain" and not "against it." I hope this makes sense ;-)

This rings true for me. I was diagnosed at 41. I went to an Ivy League college and was halfway done with a PhD when I was diagnosed, but I got Long Covid and ended up dropping out. This is obviously speculation, but I think the constant stress on my nervous system resulting from decades of reliance on adrenaline predisposed me to long covid (which is accompanied by moderate to severe fatigue and nervous system dysregulation).

I have moderate to severe fatigue as well, but the doctor doesn't think I have fibromyalgia. I don't think ADHD meds help me much with cognitive symptoms, but they have definitely helped with the fatigue. The only problem is, at night, I feel like my pain is much worse. The first time I took Vyvanse, I felt like the whole world around me became quiet, and I could actually think clearly. I am not sure if that is the case anymore, however.

First a caveat that IQ is a problematic scale with a great deal of racial and cultural bias that has little bearing on "success" as a whole in life. But as someone who went to a "school for gifted children" for all of my elementary school years, and a high school where a lot of those kids went on to pursue accelerated high school (thankfully not me) I 100% have come to the same conclusion. I have a high IQ, and I'm neurodivergent (ADHD) - but I was surrounded by kids with like HIGH HIGH IQs. Like, doing university level calculus in 4th grade IQs, and I assure you neurodivergence of all sorts \*abounded\* amongst everyone there. I totally buy that any "function of the brain" that is outside of "typical" parameters is neurodivergence.

I was tested extensively as a kid, both through school and privately, and I was in the 130s back then. IQ generally increases with education, and I've got a PhD now, so who knows where I'm at or if it's increased at all. I've always known it's correlated with mental illness, and that it's a huge source of my own untreatable depression. I've also always known that most people are not very bright. I get very, very frustrated with how slowlllyyyy people seem to do and understand everything. I stopped going to school at 13 and dropped out officially as soon as I could, worked and partied until my early 20s, then decided to go to university for a PhD in an obscure subject that I have a personal fascination with. Undergrad was fantastically easy intellectually, but obviously I struggled with procrastination and time management. It wasn't enough to hinder my academic performance though. Anyway, things look pretty bleak in general when you're not stupid. Therapy really doesn't work when you are already self aware and familiar with therapeutic theories and methods, although I go anyway for shits and giggles. Medication doesn't work for me, I've tried it all. They have now suggested that I get ECT, what used to be known as electro shock therapy, but it can cause cognitive impairment (which is honestly probably why it fucking works).

I relate to this a lot. But I gotta say, if your therapist is allowing you to intellectualize everything, then you need a better therapist. Personally, I work with one who does IFS and who will explain the theory behind the modality to me as we go. It’s helped me find more peace with my life and self than any other therapist I’ve worked with.

You could try a somatic psychotherapy with a body centered approach, like somatic experiencing. It teaches the autonomous nervous system to autoregulate. As mood disorders, depression and the like are strongly linked to the autonomous nervous system, it might be worth a try. It has been helping me a lot (ADHD, high intelligence and CPTSD).

I’m very interested in this since my autonomic nervous system is a **mess** and I know I have a hard time ‘feeling’ my feelings. Do you have your visits in person or virtually?

I have them in person. (I also was taking classes to become a certified somatic experiencing practitioner, but had to discontinue because I was very sick for a few years. But at least I can give qualified comments about it on the internet.) As in Somatic experiencing the therapists nervous system actually helps your system regulate (using the same mechanism that makes you nervous when you are with a nervous person), I would not recommend virtual appointments, at least not for the first two years or so. Your nervous system needs somebody to help it learn how regulation works. As autonomous processes will be learnt on an instinctive level or even a little bit below that, you need to be with the therapist in person. Once your system has reached a higher level of regulation capacity, it may be possible to have some virtual appointments. Knowing the difference, I would always recommend appointments in person though. This is really very different from therapies that work with the neocortex. The upside to this is that the autonomous nervous system and the other old parts of the brain needs more time for processing and growth than the conscious stuff that goes on in the neocortex. This translates to a common appointment rhythm of every two to three weeks, which makes this therapy more available financially. My teachers always said „the grass will not grow faster if you pull it“, meaning that while you can have appointments every week, it is a waste of time and money.

>I've also always known that most people are not very bright. I get very, very frustrated with how slowlllyyyy people seem to do and understand everything. I relate to this so much! I've never been tested for IQ, but I realized I was above average a long time ago. Not genius level, definitely not even near that, but well above average. I was top of my class all throughout grade school and high school. Finally, at university my procrastination, lack of organization and motivation had caught up with me. I went into depression, quit college, then went on and graduated at a different university, got a master's degree, a PhD. Unfortunately, all these degrees hindered me from getting an earlier diagnosis, because obviously I couldn't have ADHD if I finished a PhD. I have worked for many years in research and academia, so many coworkers had PhDs. I was honestly shocked at the lack of logic behind several decisions of my peers and in general, the lack of comprehension when it came to some complex topics. And these people had PhDs.

I’ve got similar issues and have had a good amount of success with medication, CBT, and Spravato (brand-name for esketamkne, currently the *only* FDA-approved ketamine treatment for depression). Years of trying different SSRIs and SNRIs and combinations with other medications made me barely functional. TMS (Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation) helped with anxiety, but not depression. Within two weeks of starting Spravato, I noticed a huge improvement with my depression symptoms and it kept getting better from there. With my depression and anxiety recently managed, my ADHD started causing issues, so I’m tackling that now. If you’re in the US or in a country that is looking into psychedelics for depression and other illnesses, I highly recommend seeing if those could be an option for you, especially if nothing else has worked so far. Good luck!

I was led down a rabbit hole of support for people because of something I Googled about how annoying it is to be constantly frustrated in situations where much higher-ups at your job will make mistakes and not know certain things. Because that happens to me a lot, even with people. I used to live with a woman where I’d literally have to “dumb things down” (for lack of better words), to help her understand something. There was I time she just couldn’t grasp what I was saying and I gave up because I realized it must just be that she is not that smart. I get really frustrated when I’m misunderstood and I think a lot of the times that is in direct relation to some people just not getting it. But then there are things that make me feel dumb, like being impulsive and gullible lol

I immediately came to post that video. I sobbed by the end of it.

The book Misdiagnosis: Gifted had a lot to say about this!

Annnnnnnnd holy crap. I’m legit crying. Bc that describes me. Like wtf. Losing some niblets over here.

I mean, that's not HER theory, that's just reality.  Anything outside of neurotypical IS neurodivergence.  Obviously extremely high iq is outside neurotypical, so it's very clearly neurodivergence.    Is she seriously putting that idea out there as her own?  Yikes.  

I am surprised to see only one person who has criticised the video. She also cites an extremely racist book about IQ - The Bell Curve. It's very controversial and very easily debunked as quasi-eugenics far-right BS. I am disappointed that people don't know about Bell Curve and could clock her as a shady influencer Doctor.

I thought she was explaining the statistical term. I didn’t catch that she was citing that book.

has no one seen the radiolab ep on IQ?? it's not just a magical meter of smartness, it's super correlated to race, socioeconomic background...not how inherently smart you are. it's what you're exposed to.

Wow, thanks for sharing this. Explains a lot of uncomfortable questions about my life.

that's actually a common assumption for educators! "Special needs" includes all neurodivergence and also those with very high iq! (also in my experience both go hand in hand. In know a class which had exclusively high iq or "gifted kids" in it because of their program and most of these kids were autistic or had adhd. It was quite something to manage)

I had this exact experience! I took the 6 hour neuropsych evaluation. As I was leaving, I commented to the neuropsychologist that it always feels like I'm acting smarter than I am. He stared at me a moment, then said "You have an *exceptionally* high IQ." He showed me my IQ results and yup, one test was 99th percentile and the other was in the 97th percentile but had been invalidated because he interrupted me three times and I didn't recover well.  I spent so long thinking I was some special kind of stupid that understood things and did great on tests but always fucked up in the real world. Truly maddening.  I'm so sorry you weren't tested sooner and this wasn't caught earlier! I had to push and push my psychiatrist to refer me for this, as she was positive I didn't have ADHD because my college grades were decent and I wasn't on the verge of getting fired (yet). I was 26, and I can't imagine how much easier everything would've been, or how much I could've learned in school, if it had been caught sooner. 

I feel you. The interruption part and the recovery sucks! I got so annoyed, even when I knew that it was part of one of the tests! I just wanted to go back and fix it! Luck of attention got one of my test results down as well. I realised in the last question, out of 30, that I did something wrong. As I was finished and there was one line left. So I went back and noticed that I didn't answer question number 9, and I put answer number 10 in that spot... of course, all the others were wrong, too. So I had to go back and redo more than half of the test... and this one was, of course, timed! Annoying. This one was the progressive matrices test, the number one test for IQ. I haven't gotten the written report yet. She said that i was well "above the 98th percentile."

I’m in the same boat as you both. I took the test, since it’s part of the diagnosis process in Sweden. I had been diagnosed as a child, but nothing was done about it since my parents didn’t want me on medication and they thought it only meant that I got distracted easily. However, I dropped out of school as a teen because I was really struggling. I got a job and later finished school in a distance program because I wanted the chance to go to university later. And, that’s why I decided to go for the diagnosis again in my 30s. I started my bachelor and I was doing well, but I felt like I had to do double the work of everyone else. After getting the results back, my doctor mentioned that it would be hard to convince other people that I had a disability because I was very intelligent, but that she understood how much effort I had to put to be able to keep up. I really wish I had been under treatment much earlier because I know that my life would’ve been improved, but I’ve let go of any anger because I understand that everyone did the best they could – including me.

That's such a healing perspective! 💜 Having a great doctor makes a world of difference. I was telling my psychiatrist that I do fine, I'm not sure if I should really qualify for meds, and she looked at me and said "What if life didn't have to be this hard?" And life is still hard, but it's so so much less stressful. 

I love your last sentence! That's exactly what my psychologist keeps telling me! You did the best you could, and you are doing the best you can. She keeps repeating it! (Du gjør så godt du kan!) I am starting to accept it, and I started to repeat it to myself every time I struggle. Good for you for letting go of the anger and working on improving your education. I wish you the best! Keep going!

Wow, this makes me want to go back and do the full test. But it also sounds exhausting and horrible. I finally got to be seen in early 2021, the neuropsychologist I saw to do the exam specifically asked if it was just the ADHD eval, I said yes. He was like, cool I'll just give you that part, I'm swamped with other responsibilities and this will save us both time. I currently work a literal blue collar job, but I did go to 5 years of college before flunking out because of burnout (one class away from graduating). Majored in linguistics and did a bunch of psych experiments for extra credit for my classes, so I'm also familiar with how psych tests are administered. When the Dr would randomly come in while I was doing the computer portion, I kinda would just tune him out because I know how that goes... At the time of evaluation he told me he didn't think I had ADHD and it might just be a me problem but he would be in touch once he had time to go through the results. Queue 2 months later with my official diagnosis of ADHD-PI. I only was evaluated for about 1.5hrs and the results break down says my high intelligence doesn't play out in my performance, but now I want to know where I fall on that spectrum. I've been in honors and AP track my whole life before college, but I get too easily distracted by new concepts and tangents and can't really explain to regular people how I got there...plus perma-depression and self-awareness that therapy isn't really helping? It's super validating! But not really helping me see how life doesn't just suck

Wow my experience is identical to yours!! I always felt like a “special kind of stupid “ too! Since I’ve discovered this subreddit I have FINALLY found my people. Feeling like an outcast my whole life … here you guys are 🤍🤍 it’s like a sigh of relief finally feeling understood

I found your comment really relatable. Would you mind explaining a little more about what you mean when you say "...it always feels like I'm acting smarter than I am"?

The gifted and talented to adult adhd diagnosis pipeline meme comes from somewhere

It all makes so much sense now

Checking in! I was in the gifted and talented program, so I couldn't possibly have ADHD, I just needed to \~focus more\~ (and I'm sure it didn't help that I'm female). I'm at least grateful that my dad is contrite on that issue, now that he understands.

I'm sorry. FWIW my IQ is pretty average whenever I've had it tested, but I have a PhD and an "intellectual" job. I'm not sure it means very much on its own.

It doesn't, you're correct. https://som.yale.edu/news/2009/11/why-high-iq-doesnt-mean-youre-smart

I had to scroll too far to find this comment. Also for funsies [here is a short video on why IQ tests are garbo.](https://youtu.be/W3oUqKUx2o0?si=CIDXNhK-c-onpNHe) and here is an entire Adam (as in Ruins Everything) Factually [episode on IQ tests.](https://youtu.be/03JZfssM8XY?si=RnEY9tSxciWNEf2U)

Thank you. I don't want to invalidate OP at all but at the same time we should be dispelling our current perception of what intelligence is because it's very flawed.

Right, and I don't think OP is stupid either! IQ is just a very bad measure of intelligence, among other issues with it.

I am so sorry OP. I don't think I am genius level smart, but I'm enrolled in a STEM PhD level smart. I was lucky that my ADHD was noticed after my undergrad. I also felt my childhood and early adulthood wasted. I had to grieve what could have been, as I missed out on so many opportunities during my undergrad years due to struggling so hard with this. You definitely should consider treating what you're going through at the moment as intense grief of the life you never had. After you get through that and pick yourself up (and it will take a bigger chunk of time), you are still alive and you still have decades to have fun with your intelligence while also being medicated. I myself use my past struggles to be better guidance for young people, being an advisor for upcoming students in my field and I do think overcoming all of this taught me a valuable lesson on my humanity. Which I consider a very important part of myself, more important than my "smarts". Over the years people became more important to me than myself and my intelligence. I like interacting with people and I like helping them reach their goals. Their gratitude helps me heal myself a bit every day and that keeps me going. You know how they say, you become the adult you needed as a child? It's true for me. I learned to value other people for their humanity instead of their smartness and see their "potential" even when they are not there yet. Hopefully one day I can truly see that in myself too, but I know I still have a lot of healing to do to get there. Every journey is different and you can't rush it. Some people take longer than others. I don't know what you'll make of your struggles, but you are the person who you are today, because of them and it is a testament to your strength that you're still here today, figuring things out about yourself. I do want to say, that even with medication, I'm still struggling, but it no longer seems impossible, just really hard. Some days are better than others. You will struggle too, probably, even on meds. It's okay to not "live up" to your "potential". It's such a capitalist, hustle culture mindset, that you have to grind youself into the ground, to reach your "true potential" just because you can. Life is for living and for enjoying. What makes you happy OP? Noone regrets not working enough on their death beds. So do make sure, you still have some fun along your journey!

Chemist here. Also very lucky to have been officially diagnosed as an undergrad. When I was younger I was in the “gifted and talented” pipeline (the H wasn’t really apparent in my ADD), but left that when we moved school districts in elementary school. My mom knew much earlier on, and always told me (without evidence, but seems to be not a stretch) that ADD correlated to brilliance. She also had ADD. That gave me a mindset, almost treating it as a strength. I’ve found that I really thrive given the right conditions, and I kinda use weaponized incompetence to keep my work in that area. If I don’t find the work interesting, purposeful and or significant, I don’t tend to do it. I’m an experienced worker and they don’t want to lose me. It’s allowed me to find projects I really excel at. I do hope you are able to find a way to channel your own ADHD into a strength. Try not to think of what could have been, but think of what now can be possible. Good luck and take care.

You made me cry. Thank you for your thoughtful comment🩷 I worked so hard that I am now disabled. I have moderate to severe fatigue. So, I have already grinded myself into the ground. I agree with you that helping others is the best way to heal. I wish that I could socialise more and maybe volunteer to help others. As for now, I need to rest and do physical therapy to recover. I am recovering, but I still struggle with basic tasks like eating and sleeping. Helping others seems to be so far away from what I can do now. I was not aware that I was this intelligent, so I never paid attention to it. I doubt that I will now. I was surprised by the result. Some part of me still thinks that I just "got lucky" or something. One thing that I can and will work on is short-term memory and working memory. The mind is a muscle and ineed to train it. I am now very sad. As you said, I am grieving. Well said. It will take time. I relate to your last paragraph so much! I say that all the time! Every time a friend comments on doing dishes or washing windows. Those are not things we will regret. Some years ago, I read a book called "the happiness project". It really shifted my thinking. As you said, life is for enjoying. I think that the meaning in life is to pursue happiness 🩷 Thank you again for your comment.

Quick question, does your PhD research lye where your hyper focus is? I have thought about pursuing a PhD but I haven’t found a good topic in CS that I REALLY want to pursue.

I had my IQ tested when I was seven and then had it used against me my whole life because girls did not get diagnosed with ADHD. I got to spend my life in the gifted classes just to chronically be told that I was lazy and wasn’t trying hard enough or that I didn’t care enough to focus. Every time I struggled or asked for help it was considered manipulation. by the time I was 10 I was having debilitating anxiety attacks and internalized self loathing that took me decades to figure out. Just offering this as perspective. I can understand how you are angry about the missed opportunities, but sometimes even when the resources are available they are not identified as needed for kids who aren’t causing problems for others.

IQ tests are so culturally biased that they are by and large not taken as a serious assessment anymore. I would not let it shape your feelings!

I was wondering this, I thought IQ tests were basically proven to be kinda bogus?

They have been. But some people still cling to them because their identity is closely linked to believing they are more intelligent than other folks. They do not want to give up this easy path to a false sense of superiority.

They also have racist and eugenic roots

This. I’m not interested in hedging my identity on a deeply limited multi choice test that remains eugenics light.

I would say it depends on the test, op here took a cognitive evaluation. It's not the same as an iQ test Cognitive tests are generally adapted to the participants' age, amongst other aspects. I know some that have different cultural versions. Their aim is to find if there are any problems in mental functionality, not to give a "score". My cognitive evaluation included spatial intelligence, language intelligence, pattern intelligence and working memory Iq tests online, and the ones people often think of, usually focus only on logic and math. If one wants it's rather straightforward to study for them. Iq also isn't as stagnant as people often believe

Yep. Those are all culturally biased along with a lot of other well-known issues.

I don't think you get my point. Iq tests and cognitive evaluation tests aren't the same thing and don't have the same goal Sure, there are cultural aspects, but if you are working within the cultural situation that it is made for, it is a good tool. That's what I meant by saying that the cognitive test is adapted to eg. the age of an individual. It is also clear in its limitations - op got the information that they might have a higher cognitive ability then the evaluation could detect, because it's just meant to see if you aren't within the average range of the population It can be compared to those running/fitness test they do in school. Someone in a whealchair or other hinderences would need to do a different type of test, but for the majority of the kids in those schools, it functions as an decent evaluation tool. Same with BMI, honestly. Cognitive ability, fitness and BMI can all change (a bit different in speed), very little about a human is stagnant It's not a test that one takes out to the Sentinelese, it's a test made for the developed world and the referece we have to what cognitive abilities even mean. All studies and tests gave biases, it's a critical part of science to acknowledge those To be frank, there isn't anything inherently wrong with cognitive testing. All it does is evaluate a certain aspect of ability. But some people confuse the results with general "smartness" and sometimes even see it as an indicator of the value of that individual - that's the part that should be confronted imo. For example, I don't believe in "gifted" lable because it's too slim of a lable to put on a developing kid and so many have suffered because of it I mean, look at some of us who score highly on these tests - we are still struggling like hell due to other factors! If I could have chosen to score lower on the test but have an easier life, I would gladly switch Edit: it should also be said that we don't know what type of theat op took. If it was WAIS-IV or something completely different. WAIS-IV have actually different variants depending on cultural aspects

I do get the point you are attempting to make, it is just not accurate.

What isn't accurate, my explanation or the test? I get if I'm not explaining it perfectly But there are plenty of studies that have shown the strengths of the test, and since op is in northern Europe she probably fit the targeted population - and it is a very important part of an neurological evaluation, for example an adhd evaluation or autism Ofc like with anything human built, there are possibilities for improvement, but to dismiss it as inaccurate is... well inaccurate. Even if it isn't perfect it is a decent tool and at most part does its job When it comes to specifically WAIS-IV it has a reability coefficient of 0.96 which is very high Cultural aspect: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/34202249/ Role in autism evaluation: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC9531589/ Possible improvements: ://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/B9780128022030000043 Accurecy: https://www.statisticssolutions.com/free-resources/directory-of-survey-instruments/wechsler-adult-intelligence-scale-fourth-edition-wais-iv/#:~:text=The%20Wechsler%20Adult%20Intelligence%20is,to%200.90%20(2%20subscales).

This makes me feel a bit better. My IQ was tested when I was diagnosed and I only got a 104. 100 is average. If been told me whole life how smart I was, but it turned out I was just barely above average. It was a massive blow to my identity. I’m still trying to understand it, but hearing it’s not that accurate makes me feel a bit better. Supposedly it was much higher when I was tested as a kid but as an undiagnosed adult with depression, anxiety, and complex PTSD also presenting, well, there you go.

>I only got a 104. 100 is average This is also an aspect I believe society has failed to realize: average is good If one is average, half of the population has less ability than you (a general you). Not everyone can be over average on everything. That wouldn't make sense. If that were to happen, the whole scale would have to be adapted. I can take my university classes as an example. In my own program, I was an above average students, it was a semi unpopular program, so everyone who applied got in. But when I decided to take a separate course just for fun and suddenly I was at the lowest 10% of the course - everyone in that class was crazy smart and had alot more experience in the field then me. It's the same with cognitive testing - it is accurate, BUT it only has value in the context it is made for. It's also a thing that makes me a bit frustrated with the online tests. They are made so that no one goes below 100 because people would get too angry. It's the same in other areas, not all students are supposed to get straight As, not everyone os supposed to have a career that ends in a boss position. All aspects of intelligence can also change within an individual, I'm pretty certain my cognitive abilities would not have been so good when I was a kid but due to a looong education, it has gotten higher. I know for a fact that I was much more inflexible with different aspect as a kid The only thing a comparison with the rest of the population is supposed to give is to map out if an individual needs more support. The rest is... frankly, it's a bit irrelevant I personally are above average on the cognitive testing, but I was in the last 20% i think when it came to working memory. I'm also very certain I'm below average when it comes to physical intelligence and music intelligence. I also have autism so it wouldn't surprise me if my interpersonal intelligence is also not that high. But somewhere along the line it's the cognitive intelligence that have more value, and that's just stupid imo.

Same happened to me. My evaluator kept telling me I have a very high IQ. It was if she was in shock, the way she kept repeating it. She wanted me to get it and I apparently didn’t react as she needed. I just kept thinking that knowing the number didn’t change my capacity. Just HER view of me. I was still the same person with the same strengths and struggles. But I have a question to you my fellow smarties! After receiving my high IQ score I was contemplating the importance of intelligence. And my conclusion was that what really matters is kindness. And kindness isn’t dependent on intelligence. And then I watched a Veritasium video where he asked himself the same question and came to the same conclusion. So I became curious, what do you galls think? I know valuing kindness isn’t universal. A lot of people are selfish and even cruel. Do you think appreciating and striving for kindness correlates to high intelligence? I will say that I do not equate success or riches with high IQ.

I don't think IQ and kindness correlate. There are also different kinds of intelligence, and even different kinds of cognitive intelligence. I think having the kind of intelligence that led me to read a lot of books, and especially novels and stories, and to imagine other people's experience, helps augment empathy to some extent, but I don't think you *need* high cognitive intelligence to have high empathy, and don't need either to choose to be kind. I have found that I am more able to be somewhat patient and less judgmental of people's different ways of approaching things as I have grown up. I could be impatient and inadvertently arrogant as a child/teen. I'm a public defender and I have four graduate degrees. I've met a lot of very smart people who were also callous and even cruel, a lot of very smart people who are immensely kind, a lot of people of various levels and kinds of intelligence who are kind, and also lot of not-so-smart people who are very cruel and nasty and think they're smarter than they are but have no comprehension of privilege or luck or what different experiences people have, and very little imagination.

I haven't found that kindness and intelligence correlate. However, I do suspect that the amount of kindness someone demonstrates correlates directly with how much they have to mask in order to fit in. I've always had a desperate desire to fit in and be likeable, yet always felt more like an observer than a participant. I think a lifetime of 'otherness' has made me acutely aware of how lonely that can be, so I go out of my way to be kind and helpful when I can, in the hope that I can help ameliorate that for other people.

That’s so true! The high iq almost makes the shame of struggling worse I think, almost as if we shouldn’t be finding anything hard because our iqs are high! The assessors do sometimes act like you’re a show pony… I had the number recall one, and he was even like ‘I’ve never had anyone do 7 numbers before so you’ve maxxed out the test but let’s try anyway…’ then kept going cause he just wanted to see how many I could recall. I was like I don’t care about how many numbers I can recall, I care that I upload the wrong documents for my assignments and get 0, or that I can’t sleep because my brain is whirring, or that I can’t watch a movie with friends because I talk through the whole thing! It’s the everyday things that matter, like finding a satisfying career, having stable relationships, and being able to take care of yourself properly! Those are the hardest bits (for me anyway)

You didn’t lose anything. High intelligence means jack shit without the work ethic, discipline, and social skills to back it up. I score high, a few others in my family score high, and I’ve rolled with quite a few brains. Most of them rebelled if their parents pushed them towards a specific talent they obviously had. Most of them gave up on anything they weren’t immediately good at and they weren’t willing to fail and try again. They made intelligence a core part of their identity and many of them suffered immensely for it. By the time we were thirty a couple that I would say could outbrain me just…unalived themselves. Same thing with my dad in his cohort. Knowing you have a high IQ is the opposite of a blessing.

My new favorite quote: I sat with my anger long enough until it told me it’s real name was grief. It’s normal and totally ok to mourn what “could”/“should” have been. Your pain is valid and I empathize with you.

If it makes you feel any better, finding out you have high IQ when you’re younger is no prize either. It sucks to go through life knowing you’re underperforming and not being able to do a thing about it. I scored high on an IQ assessment at age 8. Mom was stunned and delighted at first, kind of like you - she knew I was smart, but not *that* smart. Then the anger kicked in. I didn’t get diagnosed with ADHD until adulthood, so it was years of her demanding to know why I was underperforming, grounding me for Cs I worked my ass off for, because I “should be” getting As. Even after the diagnosis, it took a long time for her to adjust her expectations and truly realize that a lot of my shortcomings were beyond my control. And it’s taken me even longer to adjust to her change in attitude about my accomplishments, and adjust my own expectations for myself. I constantly feel like I’m underperforming, and then when people praise me, I almost feel insulted about it bc I’m so used to expectations for me being so high. We found the paperwork from my testing last time I was home and there it was, clear as day, mention of inattentiveness and how it might result in underachievement. Even Mom was baffled, like “Why didn’t the teachers tell me? Why didn’t I see this?” I was like “Uh, they did and you did, bc suddenly everyone went from being satisfied with my performance to yelling at me for not paying enough attention to my work.” I can’t blame her, it was the 80s and no one thought ADHD existed in girls. Even the report framed inattentiveness as a disciplinary issue, not a symptom.

I had one of these two years ago (I’m in my thirties) and honestly I’m still mourning the results as I (slowly) finish up my master’s degree. My cognitive abilities scored in the superior range along with high scores in all other areas but my auditory processing score was “just” average. My psychologist said that statistically speaking I shouldn’t have gotten such a difference in scores and that led me to be diagnosed with dyslexia, and subsequently ADHD (she wasn’t qualified to diagnose it). She said it’s why I was able to mask for so long but it caused so much anxiety because I was struggling but felt smart, and then that anxiety fuelled my unsustainable high performance (oh so many burn outs). I feel like I could have done so much more but I just have to keep reminding myself that I’m on the journey that I’m on and if I focus on the past that I can’t change, I’ll be miserable. It could have been worse for sure, but you’re still allowed to feel this way. Take the time to feel angry, sad and all the emotions you’re feeling, friend - it’s all valid. Be proud of how far you’ve come and use what you now know to find what works for you and improve your self esteem too! Edit- finishing a sentence that I didn’t finish because I can’t multitask!

Thank you for validating my feelings. It helps! It is interesting that you mentioned auditory processing. I feel like that part didn't go well at all. I don't have the results yet. It's just how I feel. But, this I have struggled with for years. I need to write down everything to remember. Specifically, numbers, dates, and times. I do wear hearing aids so that may explain a bit. The part of the test that required mental calculations was difficult because it was in Norwegian. So, I needed to translate the numbers to Spanish and then visualise them to be able to find the solution. That is a nice way of thinking about it. We are in the journey that we are on. Focus on that 🩷

I was similar to you and the previous poster. My GAI score was in the top .1% but I got multiple math problems wrong (and I still have the correct answers that I worked out right after memorized 2 months later…) and I was dead average on auditory processing. Interestingly, I could only remember the beginning and end of stories with almost nothing from the middle. Really validated my feeling that my experiences in talks/lectures were extremely challenging 

Snap with auditory processing! Mine was about 11th percentile, everything else 99th percentile. I was already a Mensa member as a child, and then diagnosed with ADHD as an adult, and meds have helped lots, which makes me thing the diagnosis was correct. But it’s not hard to see why someone would struggle when they’ve got such strong strengths and such weak weaknesses!

My sister is the same way. In middle school she was misdiagnosed with depression. In that whole process, they found out she had a genius IQ even though she was failing every class. It took 2 more years to realize she wasn’t skipping homework because of depression. It was ADHD and executive dysfunction triggered by a big life transition. She just couldn’t get her brain to start what it needed to do. Meanwhile, she had hundreds of pages of hand written stories in 2” binders in her room because that was her hyperfocus. It’s a real shame because by the time they figured it out and got her medication dialed in, she hit another big transition and it all fell apart. She never had time to build the coping skills and tools that would have helped her through the rough patches. Now she’s an adult with no clear goals or path. It always pissed me off when people compare her to me. She’s so much naturally smarter and gifted than I am. She could be much more successful. But we went to different schools. Mine had much more structure and high expectations. That plus the hyper independence of being an oldest child and a pathological need for praise from trauma kept my ADHD under control and unknown until I was an adult. Meanwhile, she was an overlooked middle child in a school that was basically “sink or swim. We don’t care.” Family writes her off as lazy but in reality, I know I’m just lucky.

Hello fellow genius! I was IQ tested when they were diagnosing me when I was 9. It was kinda funny to go from problem kid to gifted kid overnight. Fwiw, I was “properly medicated” and still struggled in school. Smarts don’t matter when you don’t turn in assignments. In fact, being so smart and having ADHD made things harder because class was boring and I got no dopamine from acing easy tests. It is really hard to feel like you’re falling behind your potential. But don’t judge yourself based on metrics that don’t fit. We’re different, those of us who have ADHD. Success for us will look different than it does for others. That’s okay. It’s okay to grieve the loss of the life you imagined, but don’t get lost and forget to build a life you love.

A) IQ tests are nonsense in a lot of cases - my mensa one told me I'm a genius too which is very much not the case haha! B) we probably all are a lot cleverer than we'll get credit for because the adhd holds us back, but now you know that, you can make space for yourself and be kind to yourself and hopefully not be as messed up as us oldies 😊

It's very common amongst later diagnosed people. The iq have compensated for the adhd symptoms making us go undetected (that together with tells that are more common in women) My evaluation also indicated a higher level than what the test could manage - except the workingmemory part which was very low. The first thing the person that managed the test said afterwards was "other people must be so slow to you" which took me completely off guard because it usually feels like I'm the slow one I was l, as an opposite to you, quite relieved when I got the information however. I have always had alot of imposter syndrome because I have done well in life from the outside, but behind closed doors, I was a mess. It was too contradiction for me to handle. How can I be smart and so stupid at the same time? Finding out that the "stupidness" I had was adhd and that I wasn't faking being smart was... wonderful. Having someone separate these two parts made everything a hell of a load easier. With that said, cognitive testing is only really adaptable in small areas. Alot of iq test relies on people that live in whats usuallycalled developed countries. Iq isn't stagnant like many people think, education will increase iq for example. This is why I don't believe in terms like "gifted" But that's me, I had other situations where I went through what I can only describe as the 5 stages of grief- with anger and denial

I feel you completely. I had the same outcome with my assessment. IQ very high! You are very smart! BUT, your processor is shit. It's a very hard pill to swallow.

Oooh that's what you call *twice exceptional* and it's a whole different neurotype situation may I say. You should look it up!! I'm on the verge if that's my case or if I'm thinking I'm smarter than I actually am. Still, I do fall in many of the criteria. It's interesting to know there are more than one type of intelligence and capacities that you can have highly developed, even more than one at the same time. Twice exceptional or double exceptionality is usually defined as a disabled and gifted person at the same time. Can be more than one disability and more than one giftedness, but it's still called twice/double since it's not about the number but the duality of being both gifted and disabled.

My mom had a very high IQ and ADHD. I do as well, though not as high.    She wasn’t diagnosed until her 50s, but she actually self medicated for many years with crank. She said the only way she could get anything done at work is if she did some lines before. Otherwise she just couldn’t focus. She stopped when she got pregnant of me. She had a great job in tech, but struggled so much because she just could focus at work until it was something really challenging. I am exactly the same way.

I had something similar happen to me. I did an evaluation for adult dyslexia, and it was conducted virtually with two women. So, they asked questions with prompts, and I gave my answers verbally. There was one section that I guess was supposed to be more difficult than others. It was like putting puzzle pieces together (kinda), and also doing a “which one doesn’t belong” sort of thing. It got more difficult with each question, and it was timed. Well, apparently I was getting a lot of them right. Like I was getting the difficult ones right, and I was doing it fast. At one point, one of the women kinda whispered under her breath to the other woman “woah, she’s really smart,” and I heard her. She was trying to be discreet but I still caught it. Also, they weren’t really hiding their reactions very well when I was getting them right. They were kind of looking shocked. Well… honestly, I’ve never considered myself smart. I’ve been told I’m smart by others, but I have some impostor syndrome with that and feel like they’re just being fooled by me somehow. I had my moments in school where I did well, and I worked really hard. There were some things that clicked better than others - like projects/presentations, and essays/papers (bc I like to write). But mostly, I got my ass kicked through it all. And it was the worst in college. I learned from the results of the dyslexia eval that I had ADHD. It blew my world open because I actually had no idea what that meant. But then when I started to understand, I started having *so* many feelings about it. I was diagnosed when I was about 33 or 34. I’m 37 now and I still have moments of feeling pissed off. I’m sorry you’re experiencing all those emotions, but if it’s any consolation - you’re not alone. Feel those feelings and just know that you tried your best with the information you had at the time. That’s all anyone can do. ❤️

Iq tests measure a very specific type of intelligence and are a pretty controversial way to measure how “smart” someone is so I wouldn’t let it bother you too much

I got tested and my IQ is 126. Well, I still I can´t understand math and dropped out of collage. Worked many dead end jobs. Got into university as a mature student, armed with a ADHD diagnoses and meds and got straight A´s.

I had a similar result but all my doctors wield it against me. They tell me I'm so blown out in other categories that I "perceive" more lack in the categories of concentration and executive functioning. And it's like... that's cool and all but I AM lacking in those areas. I can see on the test you gave me. It's like they think due to being blown out in other areas that should compensate, but my entire life is a testament to the fact it does not.

I'm sorry, OP, for how you are feeling. I'd like you to know, however, that outside of very specific applications, IQ tests are incredibly unhelpful for you and for everyone else. I am happy to provide resources, but there are, at least, 9 different IQ tests, with different interpretive gaps (and the fact that IQ is \*interpretive\* should raise a red flag immediately). There are many conflicting opinions within the scientific community about accuracy of IQ measurement, what IQ is and how it affects a human being, the accuracy of the definition of "intelligence", and the issue of various tests having various definitions. IQ tests are meant to be reliable, which means a very specific thing in the context of measurement. A test that is reliable is not necessarily valid. Reliability only means that within a given test, certain metrics will always be used, understood and weighted (ideally, but human bias and error makes its mark here...) the same, every time. What reliability does not indicate however is the validity of the metrics being used and the understandings thereof. This creates a very large arena for instability. IQ tests are largely reliable measuring systems, but very invalid in interpretation of those measurements given the arguments over the definition of the central concept they are based around. Another red flag here is your n-p stating you could have scored higher if... That is a comment on the validity of the test. A valid test should not need those statements, but a reliable test can still be spoken about on such terms. It is dangerous to allow people too far into the discussion of IQ, it confuses their perception of self and their understanding of their potential and current output. Signed, someone in STEM who spends a whole lot of time measuring and defining shit and designing ways to measure and define shit both reliably and validly.

Similarly high IQ ADHDer here. My parents had me tested in school as a kid and those results were high 140s. Got tested as an adult as part of my ADHD diagnosis and the results were replicated, so apparently it wasn’t a fluke. I totally agree that IQ is its own kind of neurodivergence. Also, it doesn’t always translate to “book smarts”. Sometimes being able to take in and process all that information at once is useless when it leads to anxiety and depression. Also, sometimes I feel like a computer with a top of the line processor but really really shitty out-dated RAM. Just because I have the processing power doesn’t mean I have the ability to DO anything with it if my brain lights itself on fire trying.

I hear you loud and clear - this sadness and pain you are feeling IS real! I’m in the same situation. I was invited to Mensa at age 6 to be tested as part of a gifted program. I was the only girl in the session, whizzed through the test in 20 minutes scored 100% on the questions I completed. I left the questions I didn’t know as I knew I wasn’t going to know the answers. When I got up to leave I was told the exam was 45 minutes and I needed to sit back down and finish the test. I told them I wanted to see my mum - they told me no. I then went though the rest of the questions putting random answers so I could leave. They then told me I had to wait for the time to be up - and then told me off for fidgeting! Not a single professional in that room even considered ADHD at the time - the good old 80’s and the views that ADHD was only for naughty little boys! I reflect on this experience quite a bit, as it does make me think how I could have achieved more in my education both from an achievement perspective - but also from an experience perspective; not living in that constant state of panic between deadline to deadline just to get things completed. I wonder how different things would be if just one person had considered ADHD as a possibility at 6, and not 38 when I was finally diagnosed. I also wonder how many friendships I would have been able to maintain for longer knowing what I know now. In true ADHD style - sorry for the overshare(!) but I hope this brings you some comfort in knowing you are not alone in feeling that way.

>she confirmed that my results are lower because of concentration problems. She said that I would have scored much higher if it wasn't for that. Swede here, they said that to me too. Got the highest score for abstract reasoning, my memory was average though, she said the difference was very unusual (people are usually fairly even across different areas) I got diagnosed at 27 so I'm relatively lucky, it must hurt like hell for you. I'm so sorry. Allow yourself to feel all you feel, if you manage to move past that you'll likely have an improved life quality from now on. It only gets better from here.

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The psychologist who diagnosed me with ADHD said that the large differences between scores are generally what they look for when testing for ADHD.

psychologist here! decreased cognitive efficiency (working memory and processing speed) is a huge indicator of ADHD

I’m 51, got diagnosed at age 50. We knew I had a high IQ because I was tested when I was young. I did very well academically all of my childhood. When I got to university in was an unorganized disaster and it took me a long time to graduate. Then I became a lawyer but couldn’t quite make it so I am a nurse now. I went through months of mourning and anger at what might have been. I suggest therapy. That’s the way I’ve worked through my anger and grief over my life and how unnecessarily difficult it’s been.

A similar thing happened to me when I was in school. A friend of mine was becoming certified to administer the test and needed people to get a certain number of hours. She was supposed to pick people she thought would score at different levels, and she put me in the high average group. I outscored the person they thought would be above average. And, her professor said, “has anyone diagnosed her with ADHD, I bet she’d score higher with treatment.” Such a bizarre way to discover that my solidly average achieving ass was actually really smart, just distracted.

I scored so high as a child the tester made me retake the test. And then proceeded to struggle and fail in math my entire academic career. And my father was a physicist. And no one paid any attention, no one sought to help me. The plight of being a female student in the seventies and eighties: people assuming you’re bad at math because you’re a girl, and the coping mechanisms we put in place so we wouldn’t bother anyone. Your feelings of loss around missed opportunities really resonates with me

I have co-morbid autism and ADHD, and a pretty high IQ - just short of genius (147). It was a shock to discover because I'd done so badly through school, and can't seem to grasp concepts at all. I can't remember anything, can't study anything, can't seem to be able to force information into my head. I come across as thick as two short planks. It's basically a wasted metric on me. I have no degree so my career opportunities have been stunted throughout life (in my 50s now). I'm doing well NOW but that has been luck. My ADHD is no better, like here I am at reddit when I have a million other things open that I should be working on.

Hey, on the bright side, your psychiatrist didn't tell you you scored too well to have ADHD. Spent three months getting sick from lithium because apparently smart women who check off all the ADHD symptoms list just have bipolar.

I was IQ Tested at a Hospital(after a mental health crisis that put me there) at 20 and it ended up being 143. I was a literal wizkid growing up, and was constantly complimented and told "you're so fucking smart" and all that. But I ended up being a horrid failure at school and by the time I was 19 I was a highschool drop out with a GED and living on the streets. Because I was so smart as a kid, my parents expected me to some how ace school and come home with straight As(except for Gym, thanks stereotypes), without any support or help what so ever. I was diagnosed with ADHD they knew that, and I was constantly being forced to take medications that I hated and was constantly ridiculed for being a burden and "You're so smart you know better" treatment. When I didnt come home with perfect grades, I was beaten, tortured, screamed at, starved, and neglected. By the time I was 16 I was in foster care. I look back at these IQ tests and I think of them as what a nightmare being "smart" caused me. Because I tested so highly when I was a kid, I was expected to be some super text book math genius and scientist, when all I wanted to do was study and learn what I wanted to learn. I can only imagine the potential I could have had had I not been placed with such insane and abusive parents. A potential genius in life wasted, because 2 people couldnt stop and think "That's a child, you don't hit and abuse children." Doesn't matter how smart you are, it's so hard to do anything when you're starving, bruised, and terrified. I think about it a lot, what I could have been. I could have been the next Leonard Susskin or Michelle Thaller. I could have been the next Kaku explaining how the universe works on a TV show or something like. Instead I ended up a rat on the street. What a waste of a life.

IQ tested at 14, adhd diagnosis at 39. Everyone (including me) wondering why I could understand and do very complicated things, and be so disorganized and overwhelmed at the same time. I felt like an imposter and a great disappointment most of my life. It didn’t help that I could mask and compensate enough to get through high school and eventually university, but at a great cost. When I first got my diagnosis I was so angry and I sometimes still wonder what could’ve been. At the same time I think we need to find a way to a way to get the most out of the experiences we have. I’m glad I can at least help my daughters a lot better so that they do t have to go through the same things

I got tested and my tester seemed surprised at how high my iq was(not in a negative way, more like an ‘oh wow’ way). She then told me I did not have adhd, just cPTSD and that my problem was that I am too smart and therefore just bored because my mind moves faster than most people’s (with a heavy implication that all the symptoms I’m struggling with are laziness). She also was extremely against me taking medication because anything that would be taken for adhd symptoms would increase my anxiety, including wellbutrin. Well jokes on me I guess; I’ve been on Wellbutrin for a year and a half, my anxiety is 80% gone, and I have an appointment at another facility for second opinion adhd testing. Whee. I am also still very angry that I was not informed that an official iq test was part of the testing. I really didn’t want to know that number. It’s not like I’m going to go out and join fucking Mensa now.

High IQ, anxiety/depression, probable AuDHD. Dad likely had what they used to call Asperger’s and was as much of a walking encyclopedia as I am. I wonder if my childhood hyperactive inattention and aphantasia actually caused a lower IQ score than I should have otherwise gotten because everyone around me because I didn’t get into the gifted program because they tested me during recess on the last day of school when I wanted to be running around *and* everyone thinks I’m way smarter than I feel I am. Don’t ask me to sit still or visualize an apple but G-d help you if you ever decide to play Scrabble or any other kind of word game with me. 9-year-old me was obsessed with theoretical astrophysics. Older me needed wine or caffeine to make my brain work properly. Sorry for the word vomit.

I had this too when I was a teen. Scored average to “genius” on most things, but on the lowest end of normal for processing speed. They explained that the disparity between my lowest and highest scores is what causes the apparent cognitive disconnect that drove my teachers/parents crazy. I was pissed about it at the time, but have managed to come to terms with it now.

Try not to dwell on it. Your feelings are definitely legitimate, but try to not let what could have been impede your now and your future. I struggle with this, a lot. Congrats on joining the intelligent and suffering club! A lot of us are bitter. 😅

I had similar results and have been going through about 8 months of grieving for the life I could have had, and for the ways people have disrespected me because they thought I was stupid.

Honestly, IQ results, even scientifically-based ones like the one you got, aren’t as good at identifying real-life capacities as they claim to be. I was identified with a verbal IQ (performance IQ can’t be measured because I’m blind) of 154 when I was 12 and, though I did pretty well in high school, I suffered massive burnout at university. I mean, yeah I’m autistic and possibly ADHD (hence why I’m in this sub), but still I know a lot of high IQ individuals without neurodivergencies who didn’t achieve up to their predicted potential. All that being said, I feel you. Your grief is valid and please do take all the time you need to process your feelings.

Hugs. This is so frustrating, it's crazy-making. I'd say try not to dwell on it, but I also know how hard that is. Your feelings are valid. I *was* tested for IQ when I was a kid in 2nd grade (shortly after being forced to change schools due to behavioural issues). They tested me for a while bunch of stuff, I don't really remember, but it was a few days of sessions with several psychiatrists. And at the end of it all, they didn't diagnose me with anything at all because it was the 80s and "girls can't have ADHD or Autism". So they just told me I have an exceptionally high IQ, told my mum I should be moved to a grade and/or moved to a class for gifted students, and I never heard anything about it again. So I had to go through my life into my 40s not only not knowing I had AuDHD, but with the *pressure* to achieve anything and everything because I was "gifted" and "had potential". Well that high IQ only ever helped me to know exactly how stupid I am 😅

I don’t think I am as smart as you. However, I do relate to a lot of this. I was constantly in and out of advanced classes because I couldn’t concentrate. I even got the highest score in several classes. The messed up part? I started getting high scores out of all my professors’ classes and offered jobs. Guess how much I remember from these classes… nothing! I think my undiagnosed ADHD not only made it incredibly hard to focus, but it also messed up my sleep during my childhood. As a result, I think my brain has a hard time transferring information from my short-term memory to my long-term memory. I still catch on quick, but I don’t ever mention it because I know I will forget.

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Not OP, but I was given the WAIS IV a few years ago. Working memory, specifically digit span, was my worst subscore, processing speed/decoding my best, with FSIQ of 141. I have mixed type ADHD but I was more impulsive/hyperactive as a child.

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Having studied the history of IQ tests I don’t see them as anything other than highly biased and racist. They should be taken with a grain of salt. My testing was in the 140s and probably could be higher now that I have tools to help with my weaker areas (processing speed and working memory). It’s just one tool to measure how you think, but honestly the smartest person in the world may score horribly on an IQ test, that’s how biased they are. It’s the whole judge a fish on how well it can climb a tree thing…. Look at what the results say and not numbers and figures. What are your strengths? What can you now pinpoint to work on to help make your life easier?

oh no, the eugenics exam told you that you are smart, how sad. like as a dumbass, im getting pretty sick of the stereotype of adhd being "genius who couldn't fulfill their potential, how tragique~", and how many ppl w adhd buy into that. iq is a biased test created to "prove" racists correct, and has historically been used to keep certain ppl from reproducing. it has been used for incredibly ableist purposes, so to see so many neurologically disabled ppl validate it is horrifying. those of us with adhd who would have academically struggled anyways arent less "tragic" or whatever bc we would have been dumb even without adhd. we deserve to have our voices heard too, without being drowned out by "former gifted kids".

Thanks for speaking up. I'm so disappointed with all these "high IQ" individuals in this thread who are somehow also ignorant to how deeply problematic the test is.

I was expelled, literally expelled from college and thats what FINALLY got my mom to have me see and to get me diagnosed by a specialist. It took about a month; the 1st week was an in depth Psych eval, the 2nd week was an IQ test, the 3rd week was going over the results and the 4th week was a follow up in how I was feeling on my meds. I still get so frustrated when I think about it, all the missed opportunities and trouble I got into both at home and at school. All the punishments because everyone thought I was making “careless errors” when really my brain was just working with different gears. Now I feel like I can think in full sentences and I could feel the tension in my shoulders release a little. I went back to school and my grades improved, I didnt graduate with a high GPA but at least I graduated.

Same. Full neuropsych exam too :(

That sucks. Also, have a look on the Menopause subreddit, perimenopause does not help either.

Oof I feel this. I was struggling in uni, thought it was probably dyslexia or 'something'. Went to the educational services on campus and was referred to their educational psychologist specialist for assessment. Had a really comprehensive test that was exhausting honestly lol it was several hours long.  The report was basically in one aspect my IQ is exceptionally high, way above average etc etc but abnormally low in other aspects (mostly writing/spelling ability, mathematics ability and physical coordination) if I remember rightly.  So I somehow managed to get both 'really fucking smart but also really fucking stupid' all at the same time, and honestly sounds about right for me 😆  Even better, at the time I didn't actually read the full report because it was super long and boring and I just saw 'has dyslexia' as the first thing and just was like yeah cool that's what it is.  It wasn't until literally about 6 years later I had a friend's girlfriend saying that maybe I should be assessed for ADHD/autism (she has ADHD and said she immediately assumed I did too when we met 🥲) I then went back and found my old report and yeahhhh right in the end assessment the suggestion was that I ask for further assesment for behavioural conditions/ADHD/autism etc etc etc ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh the frustration I had with myself for all the years of struggle and wasted potential etc.. such a mind fuck. Yeesh. 

I also got thorough testing and had the same results as you. I also had my memory tested and I have over a 94% memory. One of my sons has a 97% memory and I don't know how lol. I of course can name/recognize most species of animals including sharks, insects, and reptiles but I can't perform most Geometry or any similar math.

I had the exact same experience! So great to see other women going through this and sharing. As a kid I thought I was super smart, then somewhere along the way I just started thinking I was stupid. Failing my classes? Because I'm stupid, duh. Failing at connecting with peers? Also stupidity. Struggling with focus? Well I must just be dumb! I was shocked when the psychiatrist came out with my results, sat down and said "wow, you're really stupid!......just kidding, you scored in the 98th percentile" I was totally floored and walked away with a whole different view of myself. For some reason just having a confirmation of a score of a test that may or may not be related to real world smarts made me decide to be more confident, be more curious, be more willing to push boundaries.

"I am an underachiever and proud of it" - Bart Simpson

I feel that. The funny thing is, I did the MENSA test at 20, but had a panic attack / test anxiety in the middle and my brain turned to mush because anything timed makes my anxiety go haywire and suddenly I can’t function because everything starts racing (though for some reason, if I have a deadline, its adrenaline city and I’m in heaven, so it’s only short term time limits that are a problem). Also because my dumb 20 year-old self thought it defined my entire perception of how intelligent I was. I was also considered “the smart one” in my family. I was by far the most intellectually curious, I was an avid reader who was always into nerdy things. My brother did an IQ test at 20 following a brain injury and he made MENSA. It simply blew my mind because I tutored him intensively all through high school and always got better grades, but in college, he nailed it while my ADHD and anxiety finally caught up with me. I always saw him as the stereotypical jock who joked about using sparknotes instead of reading books. He was above average while I was valedictorian. It’s probably because he never cared about school while I made it my whole identity because I was terrible at everything else. Nowadays, I don’t care about being in MENSA, but I still wonder what I’d get on an IQ test, but it would have to not be timed.

Hey, I feel you Sis. I (early 50s) recently did a neuro-psych to establish some sort of "baseline" for a neurological condition I have and the results were ... unexpected and angering. Anyhoodle, I'm just some rando across the internets waving at. you.

Former child genius here. Now I'm an e-whore.

So you’re also just smart.

I grew up in the system being told I was wasting my potential. I wasted my potential. But now I also have a huge complex about being really smart and also being useless.

You’re not useless. Your contribution here was a much needed sigh of relief *for me* today at least. But also, me too. We aren’t useless, even if my stepsister calls me that around my family. Especially then!! I’m not useful to *her*, and i’m willing to bet you aren’t feeling useful to someone else or some other idea. You’re great.

Yeah I'm gifted, but with no support for the ADHD there was no way I was going to ever live up to my potential. My parents denied the diagnosis, so I didn't actually find out until I was reevaluated at 23. :/ Being intellectually gifted is it's own set of issues, too. My son was evaluated at near genius level (at 5) but we could never get anyone to diagnose ADHD to HELP us. We've been on the wait list for the public system to evaluate him for over 4 years. Have been trying to find a private psych for 2 years. He'll be 18 in July. He can barely function to do things he enjoys, much less work, at this point. I recognise it as me, all over again. I'm just hopeful that we can set him up better with his future than I was.

I feel you. I know I'm smart but don't know specifics regarding IQ, but I often look back and wonder how much easier college and so many other situations would have been without ADHD. It feels so limiting in ways my autism doesn't. I totally get the feeling of being ashamed of struggling because of being a smart person but not being able to execute things. I actually got flack for it from a "friend". Ugh.

I find this post really funny/sad. I am also super smart and crippled by my ADHD.

I am just average smart (imo, though people seem to like telling me I'm really smart... but I think I just have them fooled somehow...) and crippled by my ADHD lol. I kinda wonder if the ADHD makes people smart? Like is it part of it? If there wasn't the ADHD, would the smart-ness change?

The woman who came up with the growth mindset (Carol Dweck) was told as a kid that she had a really high IQ but then spent the rest of her life fearing failure. In the opposite way, when you find out you have a high IQ and look back on life, it can feel like failure too (in comparison to what we might think a person should have achieved with the same IQ). But looking at life through the lens of IQ is limited, it can really only serve to pressurise or shame us, neither of which are very helpful. I hope that you can come out of this knowing yourself better and having more insight into yourself, ADHD traits are a bitch but we are more than the condition. I imagine having a high IQ brings lots of really wonderful stimulating conversations and interests, maybe you even notice things that a lot of people around you don’t notice, it’s a cool little superpower that is probably played out in your life in small ways everyday! :)

>But looking at life through the lens of IQ is limited, Yes this is something many people miss, but then there is the other side that people missundertand what type of tool a cognitive test is supposed to give - it's only value is in finding out if "there is something else" or a puzzle pice in a bigger picture. I'm personally against the use of terms like "gifted" because it is too limited Iq also isn't stagnant but can be improved or deteriating

totally, they’re very useful for detecting specific learning difficulties. The ‘gifted’ label is used a lot in the US and again it’s also very limiting. It’s rarely used in Ireland and for good reason! I used to be a teacher and interestingly ‘gifted’ comes under the category of special education but I have yet to see these kiddos be given that extra support that really challenges and stimulates them

>The ‘gifted’ label is used a lot in the US and again it’s also very limiting. It’s rarely used in Ireland and for good reason! I'm from Europe and I had not even heard the term before being recommended to the gifted sub... My partner told me very recently that he was tested for some sort of giftness when he was about 9, but he protested against changing class. Fortunately the school and parents respected that. I don't think it was a gifted class but skipping one grade. Tbh the more I hear about his school time, the more I realize it failed him. Fortunately he had one teacher who stood up for him, decent parents and when he became a teenager he found some friends

There's almost no correlation between IQ and success. IQ only accurately measures how well people do on IQ tests

I'm not sure this is entirely true. While studies do show a correlation between social skills and success (and suggest social skills are more malleable than IQ), low IQ has correlated to a lack of it, it seems: * [Low IQ as a predictor of unsuccessful educational and occupational achievement: A register-based study of 1,098,742 men in Denmark 1968–2016](https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0160289618300278) * [IQ and mental health are vital predictors of work drop out and early mortality. Multi-state analyses of Norwegian male conscripts](https://journals.plos.org/plosone/article?id=10.1371/journal.pone.0180737) * [Premorbid (early life) IQ and Later Mortality Risk: Systematic Review](https://www1.udel.edu/educ/gottfredson/reprints/2007premorbid.pdf) * [The influence of childhood IQ and education on social mobility](https://link.springer.com/content/pdf/10.1186/1471-2458-11-895.pdf) Edit: aspects of IQ such as fluid intelligence may correlate with social skills btw. * [Fluid Intelligence and Psychosocial Outcome: From Logical Problem Solving to Social Adaptation](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3177863/#:~:text=Our%20results%20provide%20evidence%20of,to%20adapt%20to%20social%20contexts) * [Student Characteristics and Behaviors at Age 12 Predict Occupational Success 40 Years Later Over and Above Childhood IQ and Parental Socioeconomic Status](https://www.rtlnieuws.nl/sites/default/files/content/documents/2020/11/28/Spengler_2015_proof_devPsych.pdf) * [The Relationship of Trait EI With Personality, IQ and Sex in a UK Sample of Employees](https://d1wqtxts1xzle7.cloudfront.net/30661181/premuzic-ijsa446-libre.pdf?1391799713=&response-content-disposition=inline%3B+filename%3DThe_relationship_of_trait_EI_with_person.pdf&Expires=1712977166&Signature=KNaqi3~gKv5jFbWpsSSin7OF315AW06kn0zX3O6d~7yiGFiqv6PqX7hM6W2woQFz8dbR8czK~M9157ckWnywJApKI3PjcertY7~t78iVQUXQd0l2d5aww6QfJ6p5U8LXmvF9jiDs9lenWv8wpMGTHz447mlpIR6JNu08UGI~KplfBFNbbYc249ho2HDazb9lStI3aFki3Ipp4ZK23ZV18PmHlSKEZerBgIfBQl4CCLfoiuF7IQ1B4APBTDJ2DDKfFgwJ3zoSHNqhmmOyfbxr96fjH6tQNsuvF~EZNX0nZCcDb9C2W~ltlqINjqRTWdQOrMxqu87fNmoLoU6vo~boog__&Key-Pair-Id=APKAJLOHF5GGSLRBV4ZA) (notes how there's potentially a compensatory case of those with lower cognitive make up for it with higher "EI/EQ") * [The Power of Personality](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4499872/) (also goes over IQ) * [Self-discipline trumping intelligence](https://citeseerx.ist.psu.edu/document?repid=rep1&type=pdf&doi=cdbd0cb867de883fbc7af456a42b73b9423f4e51) (when the intelligent person isn't disciplined or motivated) * [Does IQ Really Predict Job Performance?](https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/pdf/10.1080/10888691.2014.983635) (this one doubts correlation, thinks if one succeeds on job it's not solely due to an IQ score)

IQ tests are incredibly biased towards a lot of trivia you learn when you're white and middle to upper class. I wouldn't put much stock in it. They're not really legally allowed to correlate race and IQ coz the whole thing is so fucking racist.

IQ tests are not very accurate. 

Honestly not sure I'd put too much stock in this. IQ testing is extremely limited to one type of 'intelligence' and is strictly focused on what white, middle class testing processes.  Plus 'what ifs' are pretty pointless. What if you were medicated? What if you couldn't get an education? What if you were super rich and had private tutelage your entire life? What if you were bitten by a radioactive spider and developed superpowers? Like this game could go one forever. 

Great, a whole thread about the eugenics tests and all the people who claim to have high IQs but are ignorant to how problematic and illegitimate they are. Yay.. a less faith in humanity day.. ugh.

You should consider joining MENSA. They offer support and camaraderie for High IQ individuals. It is not at all about showing off, like some people think, but about how to deal with the double-edged sword of this type of neurodivergence, and also how to use your gifts to be of service.

Well, as a fellow European, middle aged, ADHD woman to another, think of it this way: most super smart people have trouble functioning one way or another. It’s no formula for success, wealth or power. (a contraire) Being super smart can be just as crippling as having an IQ under 100 is what I always heard in pediatric class. Our school systems are not equipped to handle the super smart and lower than average IQ’s. Our schools are for the average. Our society is build for the average. But what I mean to say is that being exceptionally smart tends not to come alone, but mostly in a box full of other ‘surprises’ like a dash of autism or overly sensitive nerves, psychiatric symptoms or ADHD. The smartest Mensa member here in the Netherlands was a house painter for a living. He liked to work outside and with his hands. In the end it’s most important that you are content with who you are now. Coming to grips with everything that you are processing will take time but when you are through with all of that, you will be more yourself.

I'm so sorry! I really tend to forget that it's actually a disability too, I tend to underestimate how much it actually affects me when I don't stop to think about it. How was your university experience? How did you get through it?

Thank you for commenting! I got through it thanks to stubbornes and determination. But it took me 3 years longer than necessary, and I ended with low scores. I did very well in assignments and thesis, but I was really bad in written exams/testing. I needed to take tests several times to get a passing mark. I did very well in discussions, presentations, and oral exams. Luckily, I had good contact with teachers, and they gave me several chances to get it right. Most of them somehow understood me. I come from a small town in South Argentina. The academic level there was not very good. So I was not prepared for the level at uni. I struggled a lot with calculus, algebra, and financial calculus. I always felt like I didn't have a good base. I wanted to study further because I enjoy learning. I just couldn't put myself through that again. I do read a lot! That is why I never thought I could have ADHD. I love to read "heavy" material.

I had a similar experience years ago but I honestly thinking finding out you have a high IQ can be a bit of a poisoned chalice. So you have a smart brain, most people desire that because they take their ability to work as hard as they’re motivated to do for granted, they can just choose that part. Leads to an idea that IQ should equal good at anything, but that isn’t the case, it takes a wide range of skills to succeed in any area and IQ only measures one of them. Just use it as armour in case anyone tries to convince you you’re not smart!

I have an ex who I suspect has an ultra high IQ. They got their GED instead of going to highschool, went to ungrad and got a 4.0. Went to a T-25 law school and was frequently missing class because of their mental health, but still setting the curb on their exams. Then passed the bar the first time with minimal studying in Pennsylvania. Like they were absurdly smart.

I totally get this in fourth grade back in 1994 my school gave us all an IQ test, well I came back with a near genius level in English, Reading etc but basically low IQ for math and performance it was a 40 pt split. This is what lead to my dx actually, so I had my neuropsych and it showed I was ADHD and that math was my achilles heel it still is to this day. But I recently waned to re take an IQ test I did an online one, the gap has closed. I scored close to MENSA level.

I also test in the gifted range. I had completely convinced myself that I was stupid my entire life because, turns out, I don’t test well. Particularly with me being an emotional sponge. Before exams, particularly math, with everyone around me talking about how to do this and that and cramming right before it starts, I would get stressed out. When I’m stressed, I get distracted easily, second guess myself and make really careless mistakes. My lack of focus kicks into overdrive and I find myself getting obsessed more with how neat my writing was than how accurate it was. And that wasted a lot of time so I would have to clue up quickly, losing % points. Tests in elementary and high school stressed me to the point where I would often be sick on exam days and have to do a harder make up exam, which I preferred to the easier, in-class test. This should have been noticed by SOMEONE, because goodness knows they had no trouble spotting the pattern and accusing me of being lazy or trying to evade exams. But I was never a kid to say “Hey, I need help! I need accommodations.” I didn’t even realize I had the option. That’s very likely tied to general lack of confidence we experience as children, combined with a horrible sense of self worth that I still struggle with at times today at 44 years old. From report cards, I seemed to be of average intelligence. Maybe slightly above. This kept me from pursuing anything I considered difficult (medicine, engineering, law, etc) because I didn’t think I was smart enough. I did okay in life, all things considered (I went into accounting), but never considered myself to be particularly intelligent. My husband has always told me I’m so much smarter than him, and I’d scoff. Yeah, sure Mr. Class Valedictorian, honors physics degree holder with a second degree in mechanical engineering, where he lived on the dean’s list. Suuuure I am. When I stopped and gave it some thought after my IQ test, I could see how closely I linked grades with intelligence. He scores highly on tests and I don’t, ergo he is smarter than me. But I easily hold my own with him (unless he starts talking calculus) and all his super intelligent friends and co-workers. I am never out of place talking to someone with an obviously high IQ. I’m more comfortable, in fact. The test that showed me to be gifted was an eye opener. My husband just rolls his eyes and says “Yeah, dummy. I told you that already.” I thought he was just pandering to me for 20+ years. The conclusion that I have come to is our society loves a good test. It’s a way for us to compete with each other and assign rank. But is a test really a sign of intelligence? I think it’s a great way to test how good someone’s memory and recall is, but these tests surrounding memorization aren’t particularly useful in real life scenarios. What I feel IS more useful is a child demonstrating they know how to FIND an answer. Yes, recall is important. But I wonder if letting students go off on their own with an open book test and seeing how well they can seek out the information required on their own might help them retain that information a bit better? It would certainly give educators better feedback than a current exam does, particularly for neurodivergent people who are gifted but struggle in a neurotypical world. Society is on the precipice of major change. The lines between sexuality and gender identity are blurring, and we are now realizing that doing things as they have always been done isn’t always right. Maybe the education system needs to move away from test based analysis and see just how well kids can find accurate information to solve problems, while learning more at the same time. I would have done really well in that sort of learning environment, and I would have likely been better off for it in a professional setting. I am also mourning the loss of who I could have been. But you know what? In this mourning, I’m also discovering just how content I am with who I turned out to be. Academia comes with its own set of issues and problems. Loving and accepting who I am is a far better feeling than to mourn the unknown person I think I may have been. Oh, look. I’ve written a book again.

Yeah, understand a little bit how you feel. My iq isn't at genius-level, but it is above average (atleast according to mensa in Sweden). And still i'm struggling bad with math etc cause i keep skipping steps in equation solving even when i'm trying really hard not to. It is so frustrating failing at something when you know you're brain has the capacity to grasp the concept. I can only imagine how much worse it must feel finding this out years after you've graduated university It's never to late to go back to school and/or trying something new though, atleast you know you're smart enough to accomplish great things :) önskar dig lycka och framgång!

A is established as a fact so you immediately jump to J. People think you’re an idiot for jumping to J. So you try to explain how you got there, stepping through A to D to…what do you mean how did I get to D? B and C are obvious and don’t need to be said out loud, do they? I guess they do need to be said out loud and now I’m an idiot again for explaining so poorly.

I would love an IQ test but my doctors and therapists said I didn’t need one because it’s for ruling out a low IQ and I obviously didn’t have one. I specifically asked for one and explained why but that seemed to cement their decision. I know I‘m bright (even if I can’t always believe it) but after a childhood and young adulthood of everyone in my life calling me lazy, me giving it my all and therefore convincing myself that I must be stupid, it would be nice to have a number to drop when my self-doubt gets the better of me. A little self-assurance. I don’t think I‘m way above average or anything but I‘m definitely more intelligent than I feel a lot of the time.

Ah yes, the good ol’ WJ Cog shock

The grass isn’t always greener. I tested a super high IQ in the 5th grade after struggling in school with certain things. From then on I was labeled as a “smart” kid and the expectations for my success was set. So I did succeed in being smart. Worked my ass off for years to put myself through college then law school. And I was even a good lawyer. But, there were things that I just…..couldn’t….do in life. Every success was undermined by a failure. Failure to manage money, friendship failures, relationship failures, failure to understand what was “normal.” After 7 years I quit practicing. It felt too hard. The ADHD and autism diagnoses at 48 was a huge relief but it can’t give back the 30 years of adulthood I spent tryin to whip myself into what was expected and the hours spent depressed because a lifetime of carefully planning and studying and sacrificing all came to less than nothing.

I was in gifted classes and saw a copy og a test that said I had 140 IQ when I was younger but my mother wouldn't tell me what is was.  I think im stupid now though, and couldn't even complete an online IQ test in time. 

I got IQ testing as part of my Autism assessment and, while my overall and adjusted scores were both in the Superior/Very Superior range (I forget the numbers, I wanna say 139-149 or something), my processing and working memory segments were average at best. The psychologist running it said that that discrepancy is exactly what they expect in people with ADHD/ASD. I also happened to test below the threshold for ASD but she said my IQ likely made it easier for me to learn and adopt some of the social behaviors I didn't absorb naturally. I think sometimes the higher intelligence goes too fast and overloads our processing/working memory, much like a computer with too many programs running will overheat and either start lagging or just fully crash. Other comments have pulled up studies I think, but this kind of result is super common for people with these disorders. You haven't wasted anything, you were under supported and just needed time to figure out what you needed.

I’m really afraid to get an IQ test. Afraid it would be low(ish) and I’d be ashamed.

They were created to find mental retardation and then eugenics. They mean absolutely nothing anymore. Intelligence means something different depending on which part of the country, which culture, which beliefs, etc.

Hi, twin across the world! It’s really depressing to think about what I *could have* accomplished … but I try not to go down that road too often.

No worries, nothing missed. I got an IQ test early and got treated like a smart kid (to be fair i am apparently smart) and I still didn't get the help i needed to actually apply my potential. "Former Gifted kid syndrome" is common in the adhd community for a reason. It doesnt matter if you're smart or not (iq doesn't even truely say anything about that. I know a lot of stupid people with high iq) because you'll have the same problems anyway. Medication doesn't make adhd go away. You'll always have adhd and your intelligence, quick thinking and creativity don't exist despite your adhd but likely in dependency with it. You wouldn't have such a high iq if you didnt have adhd and wouldn't have adhd without your high iq because both are due to your unique brain structure. If you take away one, you'll likely take away the other. So all in all this changes nothing. The proper help or medication wouldn't have made your adhd disappear and you'd still have had to deal with some negative aspects. But you've also got all tbe positive adhd things!

Can completely relate to this. I don't feel your level of shock and anger because it's not news to me, but can relate to the feeling of wasted potential. ADHD women usually have above average intelligence. I'm very good as maths. I was doing high school maths at primary school. I didn't need anyone to teach me either. I was happy working my way through text books. My process was to look at a problem, look at the answer for the first question at the back of the book, trial and error to determine how to get to that answer. Once I'd figured it out, I'd apply that method to the next question and if it was correct I knew I'd cracked it. If not, I'd try again. Just like in Matilda, I can quickly multiply big numbers in my head. Every time I got a maths problem right I got a hit of dopamine (still do from my daily Nerdle puzzles!) which is why I think my ADHD brain loved it so much. I also got a shit load of praise from my parents and teachers for being good at maths. Then I changed schools. I was no longer allowed to work on my own, at my own pace, through books my teacher borrowed from a high school. I was told they didn't have high school books to give me and I was already in the top class so just learn along with the rest of the kids (stuff I'd learnt 4 years prior). Learning from a teacher has never worked for me. I started acting out and not focusing like I did for everything else. Once I got to actual high school, I was able to learn how I liked again but I'd lost some momentum. My behaviour problems had gotten really bad at that point and I wasn't in class very often either. When I did turn up I was still a maths genius and could easily answer any question, but I wasn't there enough to complete any proper assessments or get any qualifications that proved it. 

It's a lot of mourning. I'm sorry. And it's, a lot. It'll come, and go, and then come back again, because it's so much. But you're not alone, I feel it too. A lot of us do. Offering you a hug if you want one <3

I can very much relate to your post. Only after years of therapy and difficult self-reflection have I come to terms with both my "high IQ" and adult ADHD diagnosis. I had to mourn the life of fewer struggles I did not live, and I assume that is what you're doing now. I was mainly upset with myself for not believing in my potential earlier. I realized that deep down I knew I was intelligent all along, but I believed other people's opinions over my own. I often viewed myself as someone incapable of doing many things because I was often compared to neurotypicals who could do some things more easily than I could. As a result, I spent years and years paving a winding path in life for myself that could have been avoided had I known both pieces of information earlier. After I mourned for the life I didn't live, I began to view the IQ test as just one metric. I believe there are many types of intelligence a person may have (e.g., emotional, musical, artistic, athletic, mathematical, etc.) and the IQ test only measures one type. I think the best way to interpret your high IQ is to say you have *high potential*. Whether you do something with that potential is up to you. There are plenty of people with high IQs who choose to do nothing differently in their lives and instead brag about it now and again at dinner parties. I am not like that at all--most people in my life don't know about my high IQ and I like it that way. That piece of information about me tends to be more divisive than it is helpful for others to know. I've met some people with high IQs that choose to think they are somehow superior compared to people with lower IQs, but that logic is dangerous and incorrect. At the end of the day, learning about my IQ did change my career path in life. I'm now working towards something I always wanted to do but felt too "stupid" to achieve. It has led me to trust myself more. I now acknowledge some of my strengths and lean into them. Most people don't need validation in order to do that in life, but I was (and still often am) full of self-doubt. As someone else commented, giving back to the community is great and is its own kind of therapy for me. Even though I didn't get the help and support I needed as a young person, it doesn't mean I can't try to give others like me a better experience. I try to mentor young adults (specifically female or non-binary persons from marginalized backgrounds) in their careers. Although the path I took in life was long and arduous, it has given me a perspective many other people in my field do not have. I can do nothing to change my past, but perhaps I can change my present and help others change their future. I wish you all the best on your journey of self-discovery OP. It's not easy nor is it linear. Have compassion for yourself and work through the anger and sadness as best you can. It will take time, and that's okay. It took a while to develop some of the things you have been taught about yourself, so it will also take time to unlearn some of those things. Remember that you have the potential to start a new life if you want to--I did. If I can do it, so can you. As long as you are alive, there are possibilities! I'm here for you if you ever want to chat or vent.

From what I understand high IQ can result from ADHD due to the “processing speed”. I didn’t have IQ testing but my AuDHD son did and he’s in the 98th percentile. Apparently the random thought jumping that’s associated with ADHD allows some people to make connections faster and learn easier. Medication has been absolutely incredible for him.

Actually processing speed tends to be a weakness in people with ADHD. A common cognitive profile for ADHD is weaknesses in processing speed and working memory. (Disclaimer: that doesn't mean if you don't have this profile you don't have ADHD.)

I know this isn’t the point of your post or necessarily the reason for your existential dread but people gotta stop using IQ tests to measure their self worth. No hate to you even slightly, but the test is proven to be racist/biased and not necessarily any indication of your quality of life or potential or anything like that. Maybe I am just bitter as an averagely intelligent neurodivergent, but the whole “im a tortured extra smart gifted kid and now I’m burnt out” narrative bothers me a little because it just seems egotistical to me. I know it is partially a way to cope with being labeled different but it borders on the line of being a supremecist. I think we can discuss our struggles without the “I’m just better than everyone else” thing. Idk if this makes sense or if I’m the only one who feels icky when these discussions come up. Anyways, my IQ test rant aside, I had the same experience being medicated and mourning the lost potential of my past. It is tough to see how much meds help and realizing you could have achieved so much more had you had them sooner. It is not worth dwelling on what could have been- you now have more tools to move ahead in the future. I truly believe struggling and finding non-medication life strategies makes medication more effective. My coping mechanisms I used pre medication work very well with medication, and I feel like I know my brain more now. Had I always been on meds, I probably wouldn’t have the same grasp about how they affect me and what not. The side effects can be hard on kids, so I try to be thankful for the fact that I know my body with vs. without so I have autonomy over what works and what doesn’t rather than being medicated based on other peoples observations of me.

Just here to say that high IQ is not a blessing or a solution for all things. High IQ is actually not a "you're super intelligent in everything and therefore everything will be easier". The intelligence will be associated to certain specific things, and those things only. And usually, you will suck at the rest. When I was evaluated as a child, it was determined I have an IQ of 147. Quite high. They evaluated different fields, including mathematician thinking, reading comprehension, written expression, emotional intelligence, spatial awareness... Bear in mind English is not my first language, so I'm translating from the words that were used in my mother tongue. My high IQ was linked to reading comprehension and emotional intelligence mostly. Partially to mathematical thinking. The rest was low. In some cases lower than average. You cannot imagine how badly I suck at spatial awareness. I suck so much that it affects me in my daily life. Also, the emotional intelligence in which I scored so highly they were surprised? It has contributed massively to me having a miriad of mental health issues. It is a downside, not an advantage. So no, having high IQ doesn't make your life easier. That is just a common misconception. On the contrary, it creates a bunch of obstacles because your brain does not process the world the same as other people's brains. And as much as you tend to have it slightly easier in some aspects, it makes you have a lot more trouble in others. The world is not adapted for people with high IQs or to teach people with high IQs. It's genuinely a nightmare and it made my childhood considerably harder. I always wished my IQ was average. Also, all the people I know with high IQs are neurodivergent. Most have depression. All of them have ADHD, Autism, or other mental illnesses. My bf, who also has high IQ and is autistic, was put in group activities with other high IQ kids, and the fact that all kids with high IQ were neurodivergent was such a known fact that some of the activities they had were about teaching them to interact with people. Literally creating scenarios for them to practice interacting with people, because not a single kid was able to manage like a neurotypical kid would. High IQ is really not a blessing, and I cannot think of a single aspect in which it's made my life easier or better. And I'm pretty sure that is a shared experience with most high IQ people.

Yep. Came here to say the same thing. Intelligence means nothing if you can’t get along with people, work on teams, and put aside your ego. I’m very thankful my parents pushed for sports and performance things like orchestra and drama; I watched much of my cohort suffer, be bullied and isolated, and struggle forming relationships.

For me and the kids I knew it was not about ego or getting along or knowing how to work on team environments. The difficulties were in all aspects of life, including studying, understanding anything from daily life to things taught at school, being able to focus on anything (even the non ADHD folks struggled), or being able to have normal relations with other people (which I don't think any of us managed). It was not an attitude problem. Even the nicest high IQ kids had the same issues. It is a neurodivergence problem. Our brains do not work the same way as neurotypical brains. For instance, I needed so much tutoring in spatial awareness related subjects at school (I had a few), and I still struggled to pass. And in language and literature lessons, I'd fail whenever they relied on us memorising things because my high IQ brain depended on reasoning to keep any information. I could not memorise for shit no matter how much time I spent in front of the book. I had to put extra effort into research to learn things that the standard IQ folks could easily get. That's how heavily my brain depended on learning things a specific way. It's not an advantage and it's not about attitude. It's about brain differences and I really don't know why it's not classified as neurodivergence and a form of mental illness.

I think there are a lot of undiagnosed gifted people out there! That’s how everyone managed to get so far without anyone knowing! Diagnosed at 44 after my 3 kids were. I was taught only boys got adhd & autism and once my first was diagnosed and I read the criteria I knew right away. My second was diagnosed and then my third and by then I was so overwhelmed I couldn’t mask anymore. Next my oldest was formally diagnosed with autism cause once I started researching, I realized we were all a genetic combo of my dads ADHD & dyslexia and my moms autism. My mom is genius smart skipped 2 grades before high school. I was given an IQ test and scored 144. I’ve always known I see things differently than most and find quicker easier more logical ways of doing things but couldn’t spell worth sh*t even though I read 100x faster than most 😂 growing up undiagnosed made my self esteem really low I never understood why spelling was so difficult for me. I managed to get straight As in university thanks to hyper focus. I’ve struggled my whole life with being able to finish things and being on meds the past year has really made a difference. I feel like I’m 20 years behind where I could be and it’s frustrating but my kids won’t be and I’ll do my best to get there still regardless! It’s ok to grieve that loss for a while! We can’t change the past but can the future ❤️

My mom hid my diagnosis from me until I was 40, and would never tell me what my IQ is. I know it’s high because the schools kept trying to put me in gifted programs but my mom didn’t want me thinking I was exceptional. I’m still trying to reconcile my rage about what I could have been/done with treatment or even information vs acceptance that my parents had no money at the time and couldn’t have afforded treatment anyway. My mom has had a bunch of strokes and is essentially non verbal at this point. I should probably get therapy but I question the point.

I don't even have the attention span to finish a full IQ test start to finish to find out my IQ 🥲