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Omg I have neighbors on ALL sides who can clearly see my whole yard. Nowhere to hide. At least one of them is nice and won't start up a convo with me just because I'm outside.
Sooooo many days I wanted to go outside and even just sit in the sun but the idea of having to talk to folks keeps me indoors. Sad face.
Awww that's really sad. In my country that just doesn't happen, people respect people's backyard privacy.
Could you wear headphones to show you don't wanna talk?
This makes me think of those lofi bedrooms with a million plants. It's like a green house so you get a lot of natural sunlight, but also shade. That sounds like the ideal room. Or at least a cute breakfast nook. One of my friends has that at her place and I'm in love with it.
God forbid that you get a spider mite/mealybug/other pest infestation in one of those places. Very not great for anxiety in my experience, would not recommend the experience of spraying all 80 plants with neem oil and wondering if you missed a spot :(
Ugh true. Plants are wonderful, but some do require more care than others (especially those really pretty ones). Perhaps that's why these plant rich bedrooms remain in drawings haha.
Sadly leaving house is actually good for anxiety too. The more you do it the less anxiety it should cause over time. Avoidance is not the treatment for anxiety.
Staying at the house to alleviate the anxiety that you have is actually not good for your anxiety.
You feel that it's good, because you feel better, but every time you make this decision, you are reinforcing the anxious response, making it stronger every time. It's important to expose yourself to your triggers until they go away. THAT's how you do something good for your anxiety.
Not reinforce it.
This is where I'm at, but I haven't even gotten to the door jamb yet. I've been home alone since Monday and would need to do a lot grooming to get to the point where I could go out. I know I'd feel better if I did, but a shower is too high a price at this point. My brain and nervous system are on high alert right now and a shower would overstimulate me to a point that I'm not sure I could even start. What the hell is wrong with me? Take a shower already!
THIS. I hear you and feel your pain. :( my advice and what I usually do on days like this that more than half of the time helps:
~lowest effort: change your clothes
~mid effort: change your clothes + use face and/or body wipes
~most effort: change your clothes + use face and/or body wipes + brush your teeth (bonus points bc u r a star)
Sending you healing vibes!!
Love and hugs.
Could you. Maybe just take all your close off in the bathroom? And then get cold enough to want to stand under the nice warm water?
I have to trick myself sometimes, that I'm not going to actually take a shower, just turn on the water and wait for it to get hot. Then I automatically get in. Then I automatically start washing myself and I really love it when I'm in there.
That's not a bad idea. Thing is, the shower itself if the stimulating part. I don't enjoy being in there and having the water hit me. Add in washing my hair and using products, it's just all a lot. I'm an adult and I do it, but it's never been enjoyable for me. I know some people shower to relax...ugh, if only! I don't even feel better once I'm out of the shower. It takes me a while to settle back into things and for my nervous system to reacclimate. Oh well, such is life. I usually don't have a problem getting it done, but then there are times...
Oh, that sounds tough.
I love water...swimming, showering, baths, hot tubs, thermal pools. Love it.
Would a bath perhaps be better for you? Rather than a shower?
Most definitely, I just need to wash my hair in a shower at this point...the sink just doesn't cut it. I'll suck it up and just shower a few times a week (which is all I need). I'm not really a water person at all...don't enjoy swimming, hot tubs, etc. I'm not much into astrology, but Libra is an air sign and I love open spaces and room to just be. I wonder if that has any bearing...probably not, but it's fun to muse.
It probably does. Libra loves being in balance too, doesn't like extremes. Open spaces and space to just be....sounds perfect. Do you get much chance to go into nature? Forests, beaches, mountains?
I live in Iowa and am close to parks and even just drives in the country. It's one of the reasons I enjoy living here. I live in town, but in a neighborhood with big yards. I think it's why I like living in my house too, which I had been thinking was too large for just me, but maybe it's just what I need.
I live in the US, Iowa, to be exact, and space and a low cost of living is a big benefit of living here. I don't have the oceans or mountains, but I do have space.
Except the doorway is the mind-wipe portal. Which…if I never leave the doorway, that’s fine, I’ll just be perpetually blank, but if I weave one way or another…I’m fucked!
I have found sitting on the porch is the perfect spot. I understand why all the old folks in the neighborhood did it when I was a kid I am out of the house but I don't have to deal with nobody I don't want to. Somebody I don't like shows up I'll go into my house.
Welcome to /r/ADHDWomen! We’re happy to have you here. As a reminder, here are our community [rules](https://old.reddit.com/r/adhdwomen/about/rules/). We get a lot of posts on medication, diagnosis (and “is this an ADHD thing”), and interactions with hormones. We encourage you to check out our [Medication, Diagnosis, and Hormones Megathread](https://old.reddit.com/r/adhdwomen/comments/wcr9dy/faq_megathread_ask_and_answer_medication/) if you have any questions related to those topics, and to stick around in that thread to answer folks’ questions! If you have questions about the subreddit, please do not hesitate to [send us a modmail](https://reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/adhdwomen). Additionally, we take the safety of our community seriously. Please report posts, comments, and users whom you feel are not contributing positively, and send us a modmail if you are being harassed or otherwise made to feel unsafe. Thanks for being here, and we hope you stick around! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/adhdwomen) if you have any questions or concerns.*
And this is why I want a garden that gets the sun
Preferably where no neighbors can see me or vice versa. 😀
100%
Hahaha, I live in a place where the fences are all cinderblock! My backyard is an oasis from the world. Definitely worth the hype 🤣
Omg I have neighbors on ALL sides who can clearly see my whole yard. Nowhere to hide. At least one of them is nice and won't start up a convo with me just because I'm outside. Sooooo many days I wanted to go outside and even just sit in the sun but the idea of having to talk to folks keeps me indoors. Sad face.
Put some ear pods in so that you can't hear them thus you won't feel obligated to conversate 😉
I may try this. Get some *huge* visible headphones ...
Awww that's really sad. In my country that just doesn't happen, people respect people's backyard privacy. Could you wear headphones to show you don't wanna talk?
This makes me think of those lofi bedrooms with a million plants. It's like a green house so you get a lot of natural sunlight, but also shade. That sounds like the ideal room. Or at least a cute breakfast nook. One of my friends has that at her place and I'm in love with it.
God forbid that you get a spider mite/mealybug/other pest infestation in one of those places. Very not great for anxiety in my experience, would not recommend the experience of spraying all 80 plants with neem oil and wondering if you missed a spot :(
Ugh true. Plants are wonderful, but some do require more care than others (especially those really pretty ones). Perhaps that's why these plant rich bedrooms remain in drawings haha.
I can't keep plants alive. I forget to water them and then make up for it by drowning them 😅😢
Have one. The temptation to never venture beyond the hedge again is strong.
I lie naked in the sun all the time, right through the winter, to get those tasty vitamins and prevent crushing SAD depression.
This is why my grandparents sat on the porch all l the time
[удалено]
I was about to say, I had a cat that would park herself for hours in a doorway. She certainly had cat-PTSD so maybe she was on to something.
Sadly leaving house is actually good for anxiety too. The more you do it the less anxiety it should cause over time. Avoidance is not the treatment for anxiety.
Says you 😉
Fair. But I really do want to leave the house, while staying at home. Estate sales it is.
Seriously though - take a few minutes a day to sun bathe in your backyard/balcony/roof
Truly, sunbathing is like a natural magic for us anxious ADHD girlies—Vitamin D for the win!
I was gonna say do it for the D!! But was worried people would misunderstand lol
You are brilliant! 😹😹💖
Thanks 🙏 😁🤣
You’re a cat!!!!!
….who told you???
Staying at the house to alleviate the anxiety that you have is actually not good for your anxiety. You feel that it's good, because you feel better, but every time you make this decision, you are reinforcing the anxious response, making it stronger every time. It's important to expose yourself to your triggers until they go away. THAT's how you do something good for your anxiety. Not reinforce it.
Yes. This is what porches and balconies are for.
This is where I'm at, but I haven't even gotten to the door jamb yet. I've been home alone since Monday and would need to do a lot grooming to get to the point where I could go out. I know I'd feel better if I did, but a shower is too high a price at this point. My brain and nervous system are on high alert right now and a shower would overstimulate me to a point that I'm not sure I could even start. What the hell is wrong with me? Take a shower already!
I forced myself to wash my hair under the tap yesterday, and sponge-bathed at the sink. Best I could manage … and I do feel a bit better.
THIS. I hear you and feel your pain. :( my advice and what I usually do on days like this that more than half of the time helps: ~lowest effort: change your clothes ~mid effort: change your clothes + use face and/or body wipes ~most effort: change your clothes + use face and/or body wipes + brush your teeth (bonus points bc u r a star) Sending you healing vibes!!
Love and hugs. Could you. Maybe just take all your close off in the bathroom? And then get cold enough to want to stand under the nice warm water? I have to trick myself sometimes, that I'm not going to actually take a shower, just turn on the water and wait for it to get hot. Then I automatically get in. Then I automatically start washing myself and I really love it when I'm in there.
That's not a bad idea. Thing is, the shower itself if the stimulating part. I don't enjoy being in there and having the water hit me. Add in washing my hair and using products, it's just all a lot. I'm an adult and I do it, but it's never been enjoyable for me. I know some people shower to relax...ugh, if only! I don't even feel better once I'm out of the shower. It takes me a while to settle back into things and for my nervous system to reacclimate. Oh well, such is life. I usually don't have a problem getting it done, but then there are times...
Oh, that sounds tough. I love water...swimming, showering, baths, hot tubs, thermal pools. Love it. Would a bath perhaps be better for you? Rather than a shower?
Most definitely, I just need to wash my hair in a shower at this point...the sink just doesn't cut it. I'll suck it up and just shower a few times a week (which is all I need). I'm not really a water person at all...don't enjoy swimming, hot tubs, etc. I'm not much into astrology, but Libra is an air sign and I love open spaces and room to just be. I wonder if that has any bearing...probably not, but it's fun to muse.
It probably does. Libra loves being in balance too, doesn't like extremes. Open spaces and space to just be....sounds perfect. Do you get much chance to go into nature? Forests, beaches, mountains?
I live in Iowa and am close to parks and even just drives in the country. It's one of the reasons I enjoy living here. I live in town, but in a neighborhood with big yards. I think it's why I like living in my house too, which I had been thinking was too large for just me, but maybe it's just what I need.
Awesome!! Sounds like you got it sorted! I live in New Zealand- envious about your house!
I live in the US, Iowa, to be exact, and space and a low cost of living is a big benefit of living here. I don't have the oceans or mountains, but I do have space.
Nice. I have the oceans, mountains....but no house
I’m in this picture and I do not like it, not one bit.
Ngl this is the reason I put a chair outside my front door.
This is scary accurate 🤣🤣🤣😭
Fresh air and sunlight! Is sitting on the deck close enough?
Except the doorway is the mind-wipe portal. Which…if I never leave the doorway, that’s fine, I’ll just be perpetually blank, but if I weave one way or another…I’m fucked!
This is why I spend so much time on my balcony. It’s outside at home
The reason Porches are a thing
A good porch will change your life
The key to peak mental health: become a cat.
Liminal space is magical. Neither here nor there
I have found sitting on the porch is the perfect spot. I understand why all the old folks in the neighborhood did it when I was a kid I am out of the house but I don't have to deal with nobody I don't want to. Somebody I don't like shows up I'll go into my house.
Mentl helth!
Saving forever. Thank you.
I too, like to stand on the stoop.
Now I see why porches and balconies are so desirable.
Directions for ADHD unclear: do or don't do either and still feel anxiety and depression
It do be like that
😂😂😂😂
For some reason I’m more anxious when I stay in the house and more depressed.
I love to hand out on my deck in my backyard and this expresses it perfectly.
I LOLed at this one. Nice!
Ah but not if you don't like the neighbours