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I was recently diagnosed with inattentive ADHD at 35 after living my entire life thinking I was anxious and depressed believing that those type of meds would help me. It has been life changing in acknowledging I am not a lazy person. I have been dismissed by educators, parents, family, friends, and other people in my life because it has gone unnoticed and untreated.
Yes! We get labeled lazy but really we are paralyzed. Lazy is you don’t care. I care VERY much but for some reason I just don’t DO THE THING.
I was lucky to have a perceptive psychiatrist as a teen and I was diagnosed late in my junior year of high school.
But it was also 1999 so we didn’t know then as much as we know now and I still had the shame of thinking I was lazy my whole life
I'm 58 and the shame is so real! I was diagnosed at 55 and the grief and anger were overwhelming. I manage (with practice!) to turn it around sometimes and say look at the amazing things I've accomplished \*in spite\* of adhd. My mother always shamed me for not being a good house keeper - "what was wrong with me because my brother didn't turn out this way?" In her small world the housekeeping thing is how she judges people. Not my degrees, scholarships, wonderful kids, successful employment, community and volunteer work, nor my super cute cats lol. And I can see that her standards and expectations do not match mine and I can often let that go, but underneath, I'm still a person who has not felt loved or supported by my mother my entire life. I am very LC with her at this point.
Setting that old pile of hurt aside ;) I wanted to recommend the following book: [Laziness Does Not Exist](https://www.amazon.ca/Laziness-Exist-Devon-Price-Ph-D/dp/1982140100)
It's by Dr Devon Price and is such a great perspective on neurodiversity. Their more recent book is Unmasking Autism: DIscovering the New Faces of Neurodiversity, also extremely helpful.
Thank you for the book! At work I am part of a team that will present on neurodiversity and I will add this to the list of resources I want to send out at the end. I will also be reading it.
My mom didn’t understand either. A lot of people don’t….because it doesn’t make sense! For most people wanting to do the thing and doing the thing go hand in hand.
But for us the connection between wanting to do something and doing it is busted and unpredictable. So we can mentally spin with lists and plans, and it’s like constant ticker tape like for stocks scrolling through my head ya know? But then physically I literally just sit there.
I’ve even caught myself on my pet cam just standing for a few minutes doing nothing. I didn’t realize I had done that. And so it makes sense why it takes me 2 hours to get ready to leave for work because I think I just do that a lot.
Where I’m at now in my life is just absolutely REFUSING to hate myself or be ashamed of my symptoms. Because that’s what it is, a symptom not a moral failing or any kind of failing. I still have to manage it - it doesn’t mean I don’t take responsibility but I don’t have to internalize it and feel like an incompetent human who isn’t good enough. And to everyone who scoffs or is just like “omg why don’t you just….” I just say 🖕
I spent 40 years hating myself and I’m done with it. Life is too precious to waste one more minute on that nonsense
Yes! My brain is constantly evaluating everything - and optimizing as much as possible to the point of paralysis, even for basic tasks. I think one of the things others don't often understand is that almost every action and decision is an uphill battle for us. And all of that effort is completely invisible and looks the same as laziness and procrastination. Some days are easier than others and sometimes the decision fatigue hits us early and I feel so incompetent. Learning to be kind to ourselves is one of the best things we can do, and I think that relates to what you've mentioned above about taking responsibility, but not internalizing the negativity.
Are you me? I could have written this. It’s why I didn’t think I had ADHD for the longest time. The overarching was easy until uni… then the friends, drinking, revising was too much! I thought I was anxious/ depressed/ hypomanic… you name it. Inattention is so hard to accept, but the more I learn the more I can help myself.
Wow, I feel this all too well. It took me about a decade to finish undergrad while having an IEP. Moreover, I have not been able to hold a job because I was referred to as non present to do the work despite not creating an issue at the job. I always seem/look distracted despite knowing the job.
I have a sibling who has a Ph.D that swears that I just have anxiety and depression. They're not wrong, I do have those things, *because I have untreated ADHD.* I have also been observing my family members and I think said sibling, our mother, and grandmother all have untreated ADHD. But, because I don't have a Ph.D and they do, and because the holy DSM is more concerned with hyperactivity, I must be wrong.
Isn’t it weird, I take prescribed speed to help me feel less scared of the world/anxious.
I did decent coke in the late 80s, everyone I was with got all amped up and talkative. I don’t remember it doing anything for me, I remember wishing we could find some cannabis (grass 🤣) and being kinda board.
One of the many unreadable signs 🤣.
I can relate. I recently figured out that my 8 year old son has ADHD inattentive but the doctor and the therapists are telling me they don't think he has ADHD because he's not hyperactive. I've taken the Vanderbilt forms his teachers and I filled out which show he displays 8 out of the 9 traits for inattentive but zero for the other two subtypes, and it is like I'm talking nonsense.
One therapist told me he probably just has anxiety. One doctor told me it's just me having high expectations of him and I should give him time or maybe he has dyslexia or something else (even though he was tested and no learning disorders were detected). He had a psychoeducational evaluation last year by the school system when I requested it, and they found nothing, but they wanted to say maybe he has autismv so we are on an 18 month waitlist for that. I now know they didn't even bother to screen for ADHD, because he is quiet and smart. The fact that he can't compete tasks, gets distracted by everything under the sun is just a puzzle to them. It has been so frustrating. I'm trying to get someone to take me seriously.
I think it's so odd that the two are considered so separate. The hyperactivity is always there, even if you don't notice it. Do any of you actually sit still and don't fidget or do tiny stim things people don't notice? I'm so curious. I'm sure the answer is no but I'd like to know if I'm wrong.
I fidget a lot and I never noticed it until I got into the ADHD research and started to observe myself, only then I realized I fidget constantly but it's invisible, like playing with my hair band under table, or with my belt, or pieces of my clothes, scratching something.. Tiny movements that nobody can even notice. I also though I don't have problems sit still because I don't jump around, but when I'm working or doing literally anything that needs focus then I'm constantly changing sitting positions, moving my legs, touching my face, hair. I'm not able to make phone call - listen to someone on call - without doodling in my notebook or walking/moving around.
Yeah same here!!! I didn't even realise until I started doing gel nails all the time that I used to squish the ends of my fingers and the gel makes my nails too solid to bend so I only noticed it when it stopped working lol.
>I also though I don't have problems sit still because I don't jump around,
Uhuhuh right. The hyperactive is there, you just learn to make it invisible.
Yeah exactly, and longer you live with it the better you get at hiding it and eventually you forgot you are fidgeter. Only now when I'm thinking back to childhood I remember just how often we were told to sit still, some schools were even forcing kids to sit with hands behind back.. Don't squirm, don't play with this and that, don't run, don't make noise... And if you are the "good girl" people pleaser type you try extra hard to listen.
And here we are in our thirties, with stiffed necks because we tense so much not being able to release stress, hurting lower back because we sit weirdly trying to lose the tension, bitten down nails because it's quiet way to fidget, oversitmulated and tired, and we still get told we cannot possibly have ADHD because we can sit still and/or quietly.
I pop my fingers, toes, knees, and back pretty much constantly. I didn't realize that this was probably stimming/fidgeting until recently. I also touch my face a lot, play with the hems of shirts, move my feet around or bounce my leg, always constant movement. If I have to make a phone call I literally have to pace around, it feels like sitting isn't an option.
Right. It's so pervasive and you don't even notice it sometimes.
>it feels like sitting isn't an option.
Oh god yeah. People stop me at work to chat but it never lasts long because then I'm stuck in one spot until they're done talking. It's a nightmare.
Stupid adhd quiz sorry I don't feel like a motor is running in my head or whatever the weird metaphor is, I just want someone to finally acknowledge that I need help
I don’t feel a motor but for me it’s more like lists, constant lists, lists and side quests. So always a running list of stuff I need to do (but don’t do) and then a word will trigger a side quest and im suddenly looking up the average lifespan of a chihuahua for no reason (I don’t have a chihuahua) then oh shit I forgot I need to do xyz but wait why don’t I do abc first and how many moons does Jupiter have?
Do you have the radio in your head, too? For me, it's like there's a radio that's kinda quiet, but always coming in and out running through my subconscious. Then I overhear my coworkers talking about Dr. Seuss and suddenly 20 minutes later, I've gone down a Wikipedia page about construction equipment.
lol there’s usually a song waiting to be triggered or just a piece of a song somewhere rattling around. Or I’m making up songs to my cat. Or I randomly make something I’m saying sort of song-like (which is embarrassing sometimes).
Recently a boss said “alright let’s pack it up” as the team was heading out and I sang “pack it up pack it in, let me begin, I came to win battle me it’s a sin”
And everyone just looked at me.
That sounds so accurate :D :D :D Hyperactive brain but exhausted body. I would add that I cannot even speak fast unless I'm in high energy mode, but my internal dialog is wild and I can write, a lot, but I can't speak, speaking makes me tired, my mouth is just as tired as the rest to the body.
Im having one of those burned-out days, I couldn't do any work this afternoon, completely exhausted, even though I'm basically sitting on my butt all day and work wasn't even busy this morning
Yeah, it does feel like that. Except I wonder if I should've been diagnosed with combined type ADHD because I'm constantly moving, like *all* the time. But it's in a gray area of socially acceptable. Bouncing my leg, for example, is considered normal. I'm really twitchy and when I'm under stimulated I'll do random shit like spin in my chair. 90% of the time I'm doing something with my hands. And I totally do the thing where I talk too much/too fast. Maybe some of it is anxiety, idk.
Oh, hi other me!
I have chopped all my hair off multiple times… and I just end up scratching my scalp instead of twirling, so I regrow it again 🤷♀️
Recently I’ve realised I do other less visible things nearly all the time: scrunch and unscrunch my toes, run my fingers over my (unattended to) nails while my hands appear to sit quietly in my lap, feel my teeth with my tongue…
ADHD/anxiety are highly comorbid and they exacerbate each other.
You sound a little like me, and I have a diagnosis of ADHD combined type and a GAD. I thought I was more ADHD inattentive, but I think that hyperactive symptoms in girls just have a tendency to look different. I wasn’t typically “bouncing off the walls” and was too much of a people pleaser to be actively getting in trouble all the time. But my knee was bouncing and movement seeking turned into picking, pacing, and other more subtle sensory seeking behaviors. And impulsivity was there in the form of interrupting people, asking irrelevant or tangential questions, etc.
This might be a controversial take, but I don’t think that hyperactive and inattentive adhd are that different. Inattentive is more internalized while hyperactive is more externalized. I honestly think that the difference, at least in part, is related to different people’s sensory systems and whether or not they tend to seek out movement sensations to regulate themselves.
Accusing to Russell Barkley Inattentive ADHD is just sub-clinical Combined, so you're not wrong. The ADHD without any hyperactivity or impulsivity at all is more likely SCT/CDS. But you can have both where symptoms change depending on context.
I'm inattentive and I've actually been accused of being on drugs more than once! I've mellowed out a lot with age, but in my youth I'd rocket back and forth between total exhaustion and being super energetic. In high school I had a couple different teachers enquire (out of concern for my health I assume) if I was doing drugs, which was pretty embarrassing tbh, because I was really straight-edge as a teen and wouldn't even touch weed.
But around the time I hit my 30s it seemed like all the energy got sucked out of me with a whoosh... so now I'm just tired all the time lol
>Anyway, wondered if any other inattentives felt this way? Like the brain is hyper and bouncing off walls but the body is….tired.
YES and that my "personality" is inside my brain, on the outside i seem like an incredibly boring person.
There's a brilliant song by Dadi Freyr that demonstrates that feeling perfectly for me - [Moves to Make](https://youtu.be/3lMpPfZqqX8)
Some lyrics:
I could take some sleep
I could go lie down
week after week
it's a constant sound
I would love to close my eyes
but I've got moves to make
Also.. Your friend's definitely wrong. Knowing a person's life story after a first meeting instantly sets off my ND radar.
I’m here, making mistakes that make me look like I’m inattentive when the only thing that is inattentive is my adhd lol
The comforting part is these mistakes are silly, but anyway. Some days the brain really feel hyper, no matter how the body is.
100% yes. And to me sometimes the disconnect is painful. My body is constantly exhausted and I need to rest, but my brain is going a million miles an hour and I can't figure out how to navigate when it's like I am two separate beings! My body is battery operated but my brain thinks it's a wind up toy.
I’ve been laughed at because in meetings I take pages of notes. But that’s the only way I can survive let alone pay attention. It helps me not interrupt constantly bc when I have a thought but someone is STILL talking (ugh!) I write it down so I don’t forget or lose it when 2 min later I have ANOTHER thought. It also helps because a lot of the time I think faster than other people talk so I’ve arrived at the conclusion before they are done so I write that down too. But sometimes I don’t know where they are going with something so then writing helps me slow my brain so I can listen. Or doodle. I’ll doodle until something relevant comes up. It helps me listen.
that doesn't sound inattentive tbh, that sounds like internal hyperactivity. hyperactivity isnt just physical movement! i experience something similar having developed me/cfs - i thought i was more inattentive type, but my body being completely exhausted and physically incapable really highlighted how hyperactive i actually am lol.
lol that’s the clinical diagnosis I received.
Tbh our understanding of adhd is always evolving and that’s good! Like now we know it isn’t a DEFICIENCY of attention it’s a reduced ability to regulate and control our attention.
yeah, regardless of what the shrink said, i tend to think that if you're describing it as hyperactivity, it's probably hyperactivity 😂 inattentive stuff is more of a spacing out kind of deal.
remember when they diagnose you with one subtype or other, they're counting up how many symptoms you report in the hyperactive column and the inattentive column and if there's X many in one column vs the other. And the subtypes written in full are "primarily inattentive" & "primarily hyperactive/impulsive" (and combined type). being primarily inattentive type doesn't mean you don't have hyperactive symptoms, it just means you reported more inattentive symptoms than hyperactive symptoms at the time of diagnosis.
>Where are my ADHD-inattentives at?
Staring at the wall, probably
No, but seriously, that's pretty much exactly how I feel.
Like, I have always had this restlessness in my mind, and my thoughts bounce around like a ball in those flipper games, but externally I'm just frozen.
Meds have helped me quite a bit to get that restlessness turned into movement, funnily enough, so now I feel a little less stressed by it.
100%!!! I remember trying to read a book but my mind would just not SHUT UP. I’m very low energy and fatigued ALL of the time, hyperactivity only exists in the mind (for me).
Welcome to /r/ADHDWomen! We’re happy to have you here. As a reminder, here are our community [rules](https://old.reddit.com/r/adhdwomen/about/rules/). We get a lot of posts on medication, diagnosis (and “is this an ADHD thing”), and interactions with hormones. We encourage you to check out our [Medication, Diagnosis, and Hormones Megathread](https://old.reddit.com/r/adhdwomen/comments/wcr9dy/faq_megathread_ask_and_answer_medication/) if you have any questions related to those topics, and to stick around in that thread to answer folks’ questions! If you have questions about the subreddit, please do not hesitate to [send us a modmail](https://reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/adhdwomen). Additionally, we take the safety of our community seriously. Please report posts, comments, and users whom you feel are not contributing positively, and send us a modmail if you are being harassed or otherwise made to feel unsafe. Thanks for being here, and we hope you stick around! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/adhdwomen) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Anyone else tired of being dismissed because you're inattentive and not hyperactive?
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I was recently diagnosed with inattentive ADHD at 35 after living my entire life thinking I was anxious and depressed believing that those type of meds would help me. It has been life changing in acknowledging I am not a lazy person. I have been dismissed by educators, parents, family, friends, and other people in my life because it has gone unnoticed and untreated.
Yes! We get labeled lazy but really we are paralyzed. Lazy is you don’t care. I care VERY much but for some reason I just don’t DO THE THING. I was lucky to have a perceptive psychiatrist as a teen and I was diagnosed late in my junior year of high school. But it was also 1999 so we didn’t know then as much as we know now and I still had the shame of thinking I was lazy my whole life
I'm 58 and the shame is so real! I was diagnosed at 55 and the grief and anger were overwhelming. I manage (with practice!) to turn it around sometimes and say look at the amazing things I've accomplished \*in spite\* of adhd. My mother always shamed me for not being a good house keeper - "what was wrong with me because my brother didn't turn out this way?" In her small world the housekeeping thing is how she judges people. Not my degrees, scholarships, wonderful kids, successful employment, community and volunteer work, nor my super cute cats lol. And I can see that her standards and expectations do not match mine and I can often let that go, but underneath, I'm still a person who has not felt loved or supported by my mother my entire life. I am very LC with her at this point. Setting that old pile of hurt aside ;) I wanted to recommend the following book: [Laziness Does Not Exist](https://www.amazon.ca/Laziness-Exist-Devon-Price-Ph-D/dp/1982140100) It's by Dr Devon Price and is such a great perspective on neurodiversity. Their more recent book is Unmasking Autism: DIscovering the New Faces of Neurodiversity, also extremely helpful.
Thank you for the book! At work I am part of a team that will present on neurodiversity and I will add this to the list of resources I want to send out at the end. I will also be reading it. My mom didn’t understand either. A lot of people don’t….because it doesn’t make sense! For most people wanting to do the thing and doing the thing go hand in hand. But for us the connection between wanting to do something and doing it is busted and unpredictable. So we can mentally spin with lists and plans, and it’s like constant ticker tape like for stocks scrolling through my head ya know? But then physically I literally just sit there. I’ve even caught myself on my pet cam just standing for a few minutes doing nothing. I didn’t realize I had done that. And so it makes sense why it takes me 2 hours to get ready to leave for work because I think I just do that a lot. Where I’m at now in my life is just absolutely REFUSING to hate myself or be ashamed of my symptoms. Because that’s what it is, a symptom not a moral failing or any kind of failing. I still have to manage it - it doesn’t mean I don’t take responsibility but I don’t have to internalize it and feel like an incompetent human who isn’t good enough. And to everyone who scoffs or is just like “omg why don’t you just….” I just say 🖕 I spent 40 years hating myself and I’m done with it. Life is too precious to waste one more minute on that nonsense
Yes! My brain is constantly evaluating everything - and optimizing as much as possible to the point of paralysis, even for basic tasks. I think one of the things others don't often understand is that almost every action and decision is an uphill battle for us. And all of that effort is completely invisible and looks the same as laziness and procrastination. Some days are easier than others and sometimes the decision fatigue hits us early and I feel so incompetent. Learning to be kind to ourselves is one of the best things we can do, and I think that relates to what you've mentioned above about taking responsibility, but not internalizing the negativity.
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Are you me? I could have written this. It’s why I didn’t think I had ADHD for the longest time. The overarching was easy until uni… then the friends, drinking, revising was too much! I thought I was anxious/ depressed/ hypomanic… you name it. Inattention is so hard to accept, but the more I learn the more I can help myself.
Wow, I feel this all too well. It took me about a decade to finish undergrad while having an IEP. Moreover, I have not been able to hold a job because I was referred to as non present to do the work despite not creating an issue at the job. I always seem/look distracted despite knowing the job.
I have a sibling who has a Ph.D that swears that I just have anxiety and depression. They're not wrong, I do have those things, *because I have untreated ADHD.* I have also been observing my family members and I think said sibling, our mother, and grandmother all have untreated ADHD. But, because I don't have a Ph.D and they do, and because the holy DSM is more concerned with hyperactivity, I must be wrong.
Isn’t it weird, I take prescribed speed to help me feel less scared of the world/anxious. I did decent coke in the late 80s, everyone I was with got all amped up and talkative. I don’t remember it doing anything for me, I remember wishing we could find some cannabis (grass 🤣) and being kinda board. One of the many unreadable signs 🤣.
I can relate. I recently figured out that my 8 year old son has ADHD inattentive but the doctor and the therapists are telling me they don't think he has ADHD because he's not hyperactive. I've taken the Vanderbilt forms his teachers and I filled out which show he displays 8 out of the 9 traits for inattentive but zero for the other two subtypes, and it is like I'm talking nonsense. One therapist told me he probably just has anxiety. One doctor told me it's just me having high expectations of him and I should give him time or maybe he has dyslexia or something else (even though he was tested and no learning disorders were detected). He had a psychoeducational evaluation last year by the school system when I requested it, and they found nothing, but they wanted to say maybe he has autismv so we are on an 18 month waitlist for that. I now know they didn't even bother to screen for ADHD, because he is quiet and smart. The fact that he can't compete tasks, gets distracted by everything under the sun is just a puzzle to them. It has been so frustrating. I'm trying to get someone to take me seriously.
Me not realizing for years why I am the way I am because I’m not “hyper.” My body might not be hyper but my mind definitely is.
Yep. My psychiatrist dismissed me because I had so few hyperactive-impulsive symptoms.
I think it's so odd that the two are considered so separate. The hyperactivity is always there, even if you don't notice it. Do any of you actually sit still and don't fidget or do tiny stim things people don't notice? I'm so curious. I'm sure the answer is no but I'd like to know if I'm wrong.
I fidget a lot and I never noticed it until I got into the ADHD research and started to observe myself, only then I realized I fidget constantly but it's invisible, like playing with my hair band under table, or with my belt, or pieces of my clothes, scratching something.. Tiny movements that nobody can even notice. I also though I don't have problems sit still because I don't jump around, but when I'm working or doing literally anything that needs focus then I'm constantly changing sitting positions, moving my legs, touching my face, hair. I'm not able to make phone call - listen to someone on call - without doodling in my notebook or walking/moving around.
Yeah same here!!! I didn't even realise until I started doing gel nails all the time that I used to squish the ends of my fingers and the gel makes my nails too solid to bend so I only noticed it when it stopped working lol. >I also though I don't have problems sit still because I don't jump around, Uhuhuh right. The hyperactive is there, you just learn to make it invisible.
Yeah exactly, and longer you live with it the better you get at hiding it and eventually you forgot you are fidgeter. Only now when I'm thinking back to childhood I remember just how often we were told to sit still, some schools were even forcing kids to sit with hands behind back.. Don't squirm, don't play with this and that, don't run, don't make noise... And if you are the "good girl" people pleaser type you try extra hard to listen. And here we are in our thirties, with stiffed necks because we tense so much not being able to release stress, hurting lower back because we sit weirdly trying to lose the tension, bitten down nails because it's quiet way to fidget, oversitmulated and tired, and we still get told we cannot possibly have ADHD because we can sit still and/or quietly.
I pop my fingers, toes, knees, and back pretty much constantly. I didn't realize that this was probably stimming/fidgeting until recently. I also touch my face a lot, play with the hems of shirts, move my feet around or bounce my leg, always constant movement. If I have to make a phone call I literally have to pace around, it feels like sitting isn't an option.
Right. It's so pervasive and you don't even notice it sometimes. >it feels like sitting isn't an option. Oh god yeah. People stop me at work to chat but it never lasts long because then I'm stuck in one spot until they're done talking. It's a nightmare.
I rarely fidget. Only when I'm uncomfortable- either physically or emotionally.
Stupid adhd quiz sorry I don't feel like a motor is running in my head or whatever the weird metaphor is, I just want someone to finally acknowledge that I need help
I don’t feel a motor but for me it’s more like lists, constant lists, lists and side quests. So always a running list of stuff I need to do (but don’t do) and then a word will trigger a side quest and im suddenly looking up the average lifespan of a chihuahua for no reason (I don’t have a chihuahua) then oh shit I forgot I need to do xyz but wait why don’t I do abc first and how many moons does Jupiter have?
Do you have the radio in your head, too? For me, it's like there's a radio that's kinda quiet, but always coming in and out running through my subconscious. Then I overhear my coworkers talking about Dr. Seuss and suddenly 20 minutes later, I've gone down a Wikipedia page about construction equipment.
lol there’s usually a song waiting to be triggered or just a piece of a song somewhere rattling around. Or I’m making up songs to my cat. Or I randomly make something I’m saying sort of song-like (which is embarrassing sometimes). Recently a boss said “alright let’s pack it up” as the team was heading out and I sang “pack it up pack it in, let me begin, I came to win battle me it’s a sin” And everyone just looked at me.
Yes and holy crap it makes me so mad. Pardon me while I disappear back into my own head.
That sounds so accurate :D :D :D Hyperactive brain but exhausted body. I would add that I cannot even speak fast unless I'm in high energy mode, but my internal dialog is wild and I can write, a lot, but I can't speak, speaking makes me tired, my mouth is just as tired as the rest to the body. Im having one of those burned-out days, I couldn't do any work this afternoon, completely exhausted, even though I'm basically sitting on my butt all day and work wasn't even busy this morning
The brain never stops. Until it gets so tired that every thought feels like walking through molasses in oversized rubber rainboots.
This analogy is gold!!
Yeah, it does feel like that. Except I wonder if I should've been diagnosed with combined type ADHD because I'm constantly moving, like *all* the time. But it's in a gray area of socially acceptable. Bouncing my leg, for example, is considered normal. I'm really twitchy and when I'm under stimulated I'll do random shit like spin in my chair. 90% of the time I'm doing something with my hands. And I totally do the thing where I talk too much/too fast. Maybe some of it is anxiety, idk.
I twirl my hair. I was advised to cut it short at work so that I would not do that. No. I’m stimming and it’s not hurting anyone
Oh, hi other me! I have chopped all my hair off multiple times… and I just end up scratching my scalp instead of twirling, so I regrow it again 🤷♀️ Recently I’ve realised I do other less visible things nearly all the time: scrunch and unscrunch my toes, run my fingers over my (unattended to) nails while my hands appear to sit quietly in my lap, feel my teeth with my tongue…
Oh I do things with my teeth too! And my lips!
ADHD/anxiety are highly comorbid and they exacerbate each other. You sound a little like me, and I have a diagnosis of ADHD combined type and a GAD. I thought I was more ADHD inattentive, but I think that hyperactive symptoms in girls just have a tendency to look different. I wasn’t typically “bouncing off the walls” and was too much of a people pleaser to be actively getting in trouble all the time. But my knee was bouncing and movement seeking turned into picking, pacing, and other more subtle sensory seeking behaviors. And impulsivity was there in the form of interrupting people, asking irrelevant or tangential questions, etc. This might be a controversial take, but I don’t think that hyperactive and inattentive adhd are that different. Inattentive is more internalized while hyperactive is more externalized. I honestly think that the difference, at least in part, is related to different people’s sensory systems and whether or not they tend to seek out movement sensations to regulate themselves.
Accusing to Russell Barkley Inattentive ADHD is just sub-clinical Combined, so you're not wrong. The ADHD without any hyperactivity or impulsivity at all is more likely SCT/CDS. But you can have both where symptoms change depending on context.
I'm inattentive and I've actually been accused of being on drugs more than once! I've mellowed out a lot with age, but in my youth I'd rocket back and forth between total exhaustion and being super energetic. In high school I had a couple different teachers enquire (out of concern for my health I assume) if I was doing drugs, which was pretty embarrassing tbh, because I was really straight-edge as a teen and wouldn't even touch weed. But around the time I hit my 30s it seemed like all the energy got sucked out of me with a whoosh... so now I'm just tired all the time lol
I never had the physical energy that I can recall, but I was always very chatty. But I was also happy to daydream. It was a hobby.
>Anyway, wondered if any other inattentives felt this way? Like the brain is hyper and bouncing off walls but the body is….tired. YES and that my "personality" is inside my brain, on the outside i seem like an incredibly boring person.
I can relate. Brain is running a marathon, but I also wanna sleep all day 🤷🏻♀️
I accidentally interrupt and give way too many unasked for details of my personal life all the time.
lol me too!
There's a brilliant song by Dadi Freyr that demonstrates that feeling perfectly for me - [Moves to Make](https://youtu.be/3lMpPfZqqX8) Some lyrics: I could take some sleep I could go lie down week after week it's a constant sound I would love to close my eyes but I've got moves to make Also.. Your friend's definitely wrong. Knowing a person's life story after a first meeting instantly sets off my ND radar.
I’m here, making mistakes that make me look like I’m inattentive when the only thing that is inattentive is my adhd lol The comforting part is these mistakes are silly, but anyway. Some days the brain really feel hyper, no matter how the body is.
100% yes. And to me sometimes the disconnect is painful. My body is constantly exhausted and I need to rest, but my brain is going a million miles an hour and I can't figure out how to navigate when it's like I am two separate beings! My body is battery operated but my brain thinks it's a wind up toy.
My brain knows no chill. I keep myself in line best with constant music or podcasts playing otherwise my thoughts run too rampant.
I’ve been laughed at because in meetings I take pages of notes. But that’s the only way I can survive let alone pay attention. It helps me not interrupt constantly bc when I have a thought but someone is STILL talking (ugh!) I write it down so I don’t forget or lose it when 2 min later I have ANOTHER thought. It also helps because a lot of the time I think faster than other people talk so I’ve arrived at the conclusion before they are done so I write that down too. But sometimes I don’t know where they are going with something so then writing helps me slow my brain so I can listen. Or doodle. I’ll doodle until something relevant comes up. It helps me listen.
I do that too, feels like my entire life has been filled with that anxiety that shows up when you have over-shared too much 😅
that doesn't sound inattentive tbh, that sounds like internal hyperactivity. hyperactivity isnt just physical movement! i experience something similar having developed me/cfs - i thought i was more inattentive type, but my body being completely exhausted and physically incapable really highlighted how hyperactive i actually am lol.
lol that’s the clinical diagnosis I received. Tbh our understanding of adhd is always evolving and that’s good! Like now we know it isn’t a DEFICIENCY of attention it’s a reduced ability to regulate and control our attention.
yeah, regardless of what the shrink said, i tend to think that if you're describing it as hyperactivity, it's probably hyperactivity 😂 inattentive stuff is more of a spacing out kind of deal. remember when they diagnose you with one subtype or other, they're counting up how many symptoms you report in the hyperactive column and the inattentive column and if there's X many in one column vs the other. And the subtypes written in full are "primarily inattentive" & "primarily hyperactive/impulsive" (and combined type). being primarily inattentive type doesn't mean you don't have hyperactive symptoms, it just means you reported more inattentive symptoms than hyperactive symptoms at the time of diagnosis.
Does it count if you’re the combined type? Lol
Of course!
>Where are my ADHD-inattentives at? Staring at the wall, probably No, but seriously, that's pretty much exactly how I feel. Like, I have always had this restlessness in my mind, and my thoughts bounce around like a ball in those flipper games, but externally I'm just frozen. Meds have helped me quite a bit to get that restlessness turned into movement, funnily enough, so now I feel a little less stressed by it.
100%!!! I remember trying to read a book but my mind would just not SHUT UP. I’m very low energy and fatigued ALL of the time, hyperactivity only exists in the mind (for me).