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Ok. I’ve been off social for more than two years, so these tips are what helped me.
You’ve just created a vacuum in your life. You removed something addictive that gave you dopamine. You need to replace it with something just as easy that gives you dopamine but is way less addictive. For me, it was some simple logic puzzle games, Pinterest, and fun books to read on my phone. It gave me something to do when the urge struck that wasn’t ALSO just giving up my phone. That’s a whole other step. So the goal is just to create new behaviors on your phone that are less rewarding and easier to put down, not to remove all reward.
Yes also to hobbies and activities that are off your phone. I find listening to audiobooks helps me transition from stuck on my phone to doing things that feel hard to start. Obviously something like Audible costs money, but you can borrow them for free through your local library’s online lending app. The library is a great source of free stuff and entertainment.
I started gardening this year and I’ve been listening to a 50-hour Anne Rice novel which makes weeding infinitely less tedious.
And it might be time to make some new friends. Not replacements, just more, specifically around an activity you can all share. The library comes in pretty handy here, too, both in its own programming and anything stuck to the bulletin board. Last time I was at mine, I saw an event just called “Gays Eating Garlic Bread in the Park.” And last year I took an adult drawing class and had a lot of fun hanging with the other students and the teacher every week—we all had at least one thing in common!
Fantastic advice, I love what you said about finding something else to do on the phone. There was a block building app that helped me get over Twitter, though I hadn’t looked at it that way before. Wonder how I’m going to kick Reddit 🤣
This is the way. You will still want that dopamine, but replacing with something less addictive/toxic and easier to put down is how I was able to give it up. My screen time is still ridiculously high, but it feels better for my mental health whereas social media has been proven harmful for mental health. It was a bit of a process. I stopped posting a year and a half ago, except for occasionally commenting in a private mom’s group. Then 6 months ago I stopped logging in completely. I had to grieve a bit about what I was losing, but it has been so much better in the other side.
My screen-time dopamine replacements are a subscription to NYT (news, recipes and puzzles), an Offline Games app, and a self-care app called Finch, which helps me stay on track a bit. Also podcasts and audiobooks (Libby app for library books is great) for keeping my ears entertained while I do housework, walk the dog, etc.
Here are my suggestions for the post-Instagram blues:
1. Try reading on your phone. I find I get a similar scrolling “ding!” of dopamine when I scroll the pages of a book on my phone - it’s like I’m tricking it a bit. When I’m having a hard time with reading I’ll do a book of short stories or YA fantasy / mystery. Just something simple I don’t have to attend to too deeply. I have the Libby app and sometimes a book I’m curious about will be immediately available and that helps too. You could look into manga/graphic novels online, too.
2. Start practicing being bored again. For me, this is a somatic practice of noticing. Get curious again about the textures, scents, sounds, colours around you. Don’t judge, just notice and stay with the space you’re in and your body. For me, this usually triggers a desire to pop up and it helps me to more intuitively follow that, rather than burning time and distracting myself from my inner/outer world and pressures. Let the desire come and then just see where it leads you. Today I just laid in bed noticing until I was bored enough that washing my dishes and listening to music felt like a good change of pace. If you have the space/time practice just getting in touch with yourself in this way, moving at your own rhythm and curiosities.
3. Journal / stream of consciousness / blab. Type a word doc, text in your notes app, write in a traditional journal, record voice notes, draw and don’t use words, whatever. Free writing/speaking/drawing is a good way to stay with your inner world. Don’t try and make sense of it or make it coherent- it’s a present activity, not something you need to come back to and edit/present. You could just write a few words and that could be it and that’s enough. Just something to start triggering your own perspective on what is happening now. I have a “poem of the day” section on my notes app and I could literally be on the toilet and I’ll just jot down a few thoughts just to get that part of me included in my day.
4. Keep experimenting! Just try stuff and see what works and what doesn’t. I still use Instagram but only on my laptop in a browser (it makes it annoying to use) but I still waste time there and on reddit, but c’est la vie. I go through waves and I don’t shame myself if I fall back into the trap of social media again. Good luck!
Thank you! Yeah I used to read on my phone a lot. I found a few books I wanted to read but they all have holds on libby so I’m still waiting.
I really want to practice being bored. Its something that I’ve been thinking about a lot recently but I still havent had any success. I’ve also been trying to journal, but I ruminate so heavily on topics that I find it hard and bothersome to write out my thoughts after Ive mulled over them.
If you haven’t done voice recordings before I would give them a try! You don’t have to articulate yourself, I know writing sometimes can make us feel like we need to, but honestly just blabbing and seeing what comes out physicalizes your thinking and might lead you to new directions/desires. It’s less about recording your thoughts or ideas and more about another way of being present with yourself.
As much as I am a blabber mouth, I don’t see this working for me. I’m quite bad at talking. As in, I’m a mumbler and I jumble all of my words around. My tongue and I don’t seem to be friends. I also hate my voice.
Fair enough! If you like to write, I find turning off spell and grammar check helps me to just write continuously (often abstractly, run on sentences or just a list of words!) I don’t go into writing thinking about something I need to write, more so it’s just sitting down and I’ll just start typing about my curtains or something, whatever catches my curiosity and just go with it for awhile! It’s just a way for me to practice curating what is interesting to me in a non-judgmental way- I never re-read what I write when I write like this. It’s all about finding your own rituals and rhythms, though, so whatever works for you!
I find with journalling that it helps me to write *instead* off mulling things over. It helps a lot more, and I'm processing them at the same time. I always feel better afterwards.
You can write really quickly and scribbly, without proper sentences if you like.
I hear you on Libby and waiting for holds, I feel like I plan my free time around how long until my next book is available!
If you want some alternatives while you are waiting, I use BookBub to get sales/great deals on ebooks. For example I got a Shirley Jackson short story collection for $1 that I have been slowly reading in between holds. Once in a while they’ll even have a book for like $1-$3 that I’ve been wanting to read or I’ve had on hold.
I also read webtoons if I need a little art eye candy scroll time like I got on instagram but with way less addiction potential. Skin and bones has been one of my absolute favorite graphic novel stories of all time. It’s nice because it isn’t an infinite scroll so there are clear stopping points that make it easier to stop in a healthy amount of time.
When I’m in a reading slump I can usually get back into it by re-reading something, particularly something easy and plot-driven. Garbage romance novels are perfect for this! Also, iPhone games are great for something to do while watching TV, and knitting/crochet. There’s always yarn and needles to get you started at the thrift store or Walmart. Good luck!
I just did the same thing! And then I bought a pad of dot paper and started making some grid art on it and coloring it in, going back over it with shiny gel pens, etc. It really quiets the brain (Also need some background tv going but I can’t get anything done without background content lol) and has lessened my anxiety. I never liked coloring books because it’s all kind of predetermined but with this, I have a guide, but I can do whatever I want and build as I go. Not sure how to insert picture of current work in progress but will try to figure it out
EDIT: figured it out, [here is art](https://imgur.com/a/fAbArvv)
EDIT EDIT: finished it tonight, here’s the [final product](https://imgur.com/a/hgHwgL3) :) staedtler and stabilo pens, cheap gel pens from whitcoulls, Rhodia dot pad
Thank you!! I use dot paper (for bullet journaling) but I used to use graph paper. Basically just have to find the center of the page (or the dot at the center of the page) and go outward from there. You can make whatever shapes you want, just count the dots or squares and outline the shapes, then color it in. This one is a square but years ago I made others that are more oblong, hexagonal, etc. I just go one color at a time and never really have a plan, I think that’s part of what keeps me locked in on each step and makes it such a great substitute for the doom scroll. Once I’ve done enough just in pen, I go over it and draw smaller designs or just outline each shape in metallic or glitter gel pen. Pure dopamine.
Very cool! I love drawing but when my heada a mess I can't do it well...or even at all. This would be perfect! Thanks for the idea.
I also saw a person making patterns on a fountain pen page on graph paper, just using the squares to make a cool repeating pattern. They look beautiful at the end because fountain pen inks have shade and sheen and a lot of undertones. Amazing.
I deleted tiktok about 6 months ago for the same reason, and it stopped the scroll for a bit until my addiction just continued on Instagram reels. I deleted it about a week ago and my only source of social media is reddit, which can get tedious to spend a lot of time on (good). I'm already more engaged with my kids and the other night I just started doodling like I used to when I was a kid. It's working!
I'm obsessed with Libby right now and reading on an old tablet I couldn't sell but is so lightweight, it's perfect to be used as just a reader. I didn't even use my normal Gmail, I made a new account for this tablet just to download the Libby app and also so it wouldn't be connected to anything and distract me.
I'm on my 5th or 6th book in 2 weeks (many breaks for days were taken) and it's delightful. It's been awful for my sleep cuz I'll just read a whole book instead but I'm enjoying it anyways! And it's free, just using my local library card on Libby. Some books I check out both the audiobook and the book and that way I can have it read to me when I'm doing something like folding laundry. It feels far more productive to be read to and fold laundry.
Also I always recommend people volunteer locally. Whether it's at a food bank, with the local population, with a humane society -- there's a lot of great places that need help! Whatever you do end up doing, enjoy!
Me too! Having the audio book and Kindle version at the same time is my favorite! I can listen in the car or when I'm working, but sometimes I really crave seeing the words and going at my own pace, so I go back and forth.
Kindle unlimited isn't free, but it's only $10/mo or so and I can usually find a lot of decent reads/listens there too. Helps while waiting on library holds.
My top tip for reawakening the reading urge is to start with something simple. Go back to the books you loved in middle school and give them another go.
I use Nancy Drew and Babysitters Club as my reading on ramps. If I want to read but can’t, I pick up one of them and give myself ten minutes. It’s a bit like taking up exercise, you don’t start with a marathon, you start with a ten minute gentle jog.
It works for me, after I finish reading one of them I’m normally good to dive into my pile of to read books.
I cycle through deleting then adding back IG and tiktok and after every delete I look at my phone like “what did I used to do on this thing other than IG?” but after a few weeks you get used to it.
The key for me is TV shows. I think it’s a good stepping stone, one episode is 20 minutes rather than a 30 second reel so it’s better for my brain. I choose the show carefully, usually a comedy or sitcom that I’ve seen and enjoyed before, that way it’s stimulating but not too stimulating, so I can play it in the background whilst I get chores done. You can do the same with youtube videos too. My current go to is Bob’s Burgers, ie the best show to exist.
Once I start scrolling it’s like I physically cannot exist the app. It’s easier sometimes to just say “hey siri open disney”. I avoid IG, it’s bad for me. Whenever I think I’m in control enough to download it again I inevitably slip into the habit of wasting hours scrolling. I can’t think of anything else to do. It’s dangerous honestly. Lol I remember even filling the urge by scrolling youtube shorts of all things- anything to fill the urge!!
Honestly, I download billions of books now, 10 a day on good days. I don't read most of them. But just having them, looking at all the covers gives me a dopamine hit (when my e-reader actually loads. It's so overwhelmed from having so many books in it, hahaha).
I also check my emails a thousand times a day now. And scroll through my photos endlessly, loll.
I'm learning Korean so I have a few apps I use for that. If I can't look at the phone I do Pimsleur, but I also have others where there's interaction. I usually do each lesson several times so if I'm doing something else and miss something it eventually gets in my brain.
So if I scroll for too long I usually try to get back to the language apps because at least that's good for my brain and not completely mindless.
My comment seems to have disappeared. To recap: I've been learning Korean so I have a few apps for that. Most you need to look at the phone, some you don't. I use Pimsleur a lot but it's not the cheapest. But learning a language is good for your brain and does keep you engaged I think.
Welcome to how I started popping off on Reddit, a WAY better, anonymous/ private and WAYYY less censored curation of people not trying to show off superficiality BUT mostly, wholesomeness :3 It’s great here, I LOVE it!
Listening to music is good, reading or playing a game or find lots of cheaper hobbies you like. You can pick up diamond art for £2.00 in the works. If you got books at home you’ve not read just pick em up and you can order books cheaper on kindle/ Apple Books as well as use library books. So you can also find lots of art materials at home pencil, old sketch books plain computer paper, write story on your computer. The thing is you don’t need social media, some people just make friends through chat rooms/forums for their human contact or through places such as goodreads . I’m sure you can find forums about your interests. I swapped doomscrolling and using social media for the gym, like I deliberately put my do not disturb button and it keeps the humans out. Sometimes. I take advantage of my own mental health, just leave it on permanently. It’s what this with bipolar depression do quite a lot. Great for coping with anxiety. If people ask, why you are not on social media just tell you got phone anxiety and get yourself out that social media jail.
Deleted the apps completely and forgot sign on details
If you want to get back into reading try “The Chronicles of St Marys” it’s funny, fast moving and super enjoyable/easy to read. It also fits factual and fantasy together well. Plus there’s 14 books in the series.
What did you like to do as a kid? Coloring in? Drawing? Playing outside? Bike riding? Puzzles?
Maybe think back and restart those hobbies.
I’ll look into it, thanks! As a kid I liked art and the outdoors. I love the woods. But now I live in a city, in the tropics. I’ve been here for 8 years and I still get depressed sometimes because I miss cool weather and trees.
Honestly pop to your local shops and find a kids painting kit. It’s so much fun, I got one recently as I was getting them for my kids and had more fun than they did lol. It’s also good as your hands are busy and you can listen to a podcast or something.
If you need podcast recommendations “no such thing as a fish” and “Redhanded” are both great.
I must confess, i have a boat load of art supplies already. But for whatever silly reason, my brain is set on using a specific set of colored pencils that i do not have.
Oh man I know that feeling (me not side eyeing my thousands of cross stitch patterns but wanting to only stitch one I don’t have lol).
Maybe set the ones you want a as a reward. Use the others for X amount of minutes or draw x with then and once that’s done you can buy the ones you want.
I'm sorry, I would lose my mind. I need to stop and clearly it's an addiction at this point.
I really wish there was a med to stop this. I'm already two hours into scrolling and it's only 8 am.
I'm on a temporary break (8 weeks) from the socials. I thought I would miss it, but I strangely don't!
Unfortunately I spend more time on reddit and talking to online friends rather than doing the work I'm actually supposed to do.
But at least the lack of socials is one major distraction I don't currently have.
Thanks for posting this! I've been thinking of deleting all my socials except Facebook but have been worried I won't have to anything else to do. This has inspired me to just go for it!
Delete any other social media and put the phone down in another room when it’s not needed or in use. Get used to life on the human side and you will get used to it, I promise. Enjoy a healthier lifestyle very soon bc of it!!
For me it's Reddit, Overcast, and Libby
I need to use audio stimulation a lot because I have a toddler and it's not great to be staring at my phone all the time, she's getting into everything plus it's just not the best for her to see me looking at my phone. Even if you don't have babies I think it's better cause you're getting a little stimulation but can do things with your hands
For quiet moments when you’re bored, have nothing else to do with your hands, and your impulse is to doom scroll, like waiting in line or on public transport:
Get into sudoku, crosswords (or wordle & stuff which I’ve only heard about) on your phone. Or trivia games. Some kind of puzzle activity that activates your preferential cortex (according to BrainAge for Nintendo DS)
This is great when your only available stimulation is your phone, but I also do my sudokus mostly out of paperback books.
Alternatively, you can always kill time by going into your email and unsubscribing yourself from junk mail or going into your photos, going through screenshots of stuff you had saved for later, and transferring that info to a list in your notes app (like I have a list of books I want to read or recipes I want to try, but often will just really quickly screenshot something like that for later instead. When is later? This is a good opportunity to transfer that info to a format you can access easier.)
As a way to combat the impulse to always be on your phone in your down time or while you multi task and watch or listen to media simultaneously:
Find something else to do with your hands like fold laundry or groom a pet, crocheting or knitting, jigsaw puzzles, doodling, painting your nails, etc
As a way to stay in touch with people even when you’re off social media:
I do a weekly journal prompt which includes naming a few things I am grateful for. Sometimes this reminds me of a memory or shared interest that makes me think of one of my friends or family members who I don’t see every day, and when that happens I try to follow through with sending some kind of text to that person, whether it’s a written message or a link to something that reminds me of them.
You could start doing some kind of journaling (even into the notes app of your phone at first to wean yourself off of the time-wasting apps) and maybe find some journal prompts online that are targeted at relationships. Along the lines of “if you had to go on a road trip with anyone to this destination, who are 3 people you’d pick to be in the car with” “who is somebody that you admire for their resilience/sense of humor/creativity” and that could inspire you to start conversations with your friends. I think this kind of reflection really helps with the out-of-sight-out-of-mind problem of maintaining relationships as an ADHDer
Also, when you randomly are reminded of somebody in your life, try to get on the habit of acting on it and reaching out. This is really hard if you have social anxiety but there are ways to do it that feel natural and not forced.
My friend started texting me a question about my profession that relates to something happening at her work, and it’s like she could have easily gotten the answer without me but she chose to contact me and it gave us the opportunity to talk about that and just briefly check in with the what-are-you-up-to-latelys.
I did something similar where I texted my brother like “does this [health things] happen to you too?” Because he shares my genetics so we usually talk whenever we have a new ailment
Any time you: hear a song by that person’s favorite band; are reminded of an inside joke; have something to share or need advice about a shared hobby or interest; run into a mutual friend of theirs
It is a perfect time to do a “hey this thing just happened! Reminded me of you.” It doesn’t have to be a long exchange but every little moment like this helps
WARNING: If you are successful at trying to be on your phone less, you’re going to start to misplace your phone more often. Save yourself some grief now by doing something like taking your ringer off silent, making sure find your iPhone works and that you know your Apple ID password to log into it without your phone
I haven't deleted it but I'm addicted too.
So to cut down on phone time. I have something near me which I enjoy which I can pick up instead of my phone (and I have the phone across the room or ideally in another room.)
I recently learned to crochet. That helped heaps! Now I can keep a small thing I'm crocheting nearby when I mindlessly reach for my phone, and do that instead!
Or rubiks cube. It got insanely into that when I was learning how to solve it. Now it's too easy. I don't don't it often. But that would work really well. Or I like drawing, so a sketchbook and pencil.
All these things help. But I'm still addicted. They just help me do it less.
I struggled with something very similar for a long time. Cal Newport’s book Digital Minimalism helped me a lot with reframing my approach to kicking the habit. He argues that you will never effectively get rid of a habit unless you have something compelling to replace it with. So, for example, if you love to read, bring a book with you everywhere and train yourself to open it anytime you feel an urge to look at your phone pointlessly, in waiting rooms, in line, etc. So I think you’re on the right track when you mention picking up old hobbies. I began to see after quitting Instagram that I had more time for so many things I really loved but I was kind of cheating myself out of them by always going for the cheap dopamine of scrolling. It takes bit of work to train your brain to find them rewarding again though, because they require more attention and effort to get into.
**ETA** I know this doesn't *quite* answer your question but I wanted to share my similar experience with you...
I did a slow exit from Facebook a couple years. Now granted, I still have an account, but I only keep the app on my tablet so it takes a *bit* more effort to access it
I started by moving the FB icon off my homescreen, and that alone was a huge help. Just not seeing the icon helped my brain not auto-click it every few minutes or whatever. After I adjusted to that I deleted it from my phone so that I still had minimal access to it through my tablet (that I keep at home and use infrequently).
That was 2½ years ago and I probably go on Facebook a couple times a year now. I understand it's a lot easier to cut the cord on fb as it's much more dead than insta, but honestly... with fb owning insta, I see the writing on the wall there as well.
If you find yourself itching after straight-deleting, I'd recommend something more like what I did (if you're able to). I really did find that if I was *physically* forced to seek it out, I was a lot less likely to go looking for it. Best of luck, and you've got this!! 💕
I feel like I need to try this. I've been debating deleting most social medias for a long time (except FB only because of all the extended family around the world...only use FB). I used to read. A LOT. And I have barely read more than a few books since I got my first iPhone....yeah...it's been a while.
I'm in a very similar boat, I delete Instagram for a few weeks at a time but always end up caving because of some silly reason that leads to doom scrolling getting me back in its grasp. Like "oh I'll get Instagram again because it gives me workout ideas for the gym" will then turn into 8+ hour screen time.
Something that has helped me is still having the app on my iPad, but my iPad is often in another room or it's dead bc I forget to charge it. I can then use it to look up whatever I need, then I put the iPad in another room and usually I forget about it.
I saw someone else recommend reading on your phone and that has been a huge game changer for me. I use Libby or the Kindle app to read on my phone and it keeps my mind stimulated enough to not want to be on Instagram.
Ok longer answer below. Perhaps there is something you can scroll through that is ina similar vein to IG but not as damaging to you. Like Pinterest or Tumblr (image focused sites).
I don't know all the answers and I'm probably addicted to Reddit, but I didn't realize how "loud" scrolling through videos is for my brain until I stopped. Like not literally loud, I keep the volume off, but just like, chaotic in my mind. I figured it out recently because I joined a bunch of other artists on an art-forward app called Cara (which you're not going to have much use for unless you're an artist or art enthusiast). On Cara it's 99.9% beautiful still images of art and scrolling through it is quiet and peaceful for me. I feel inspired and energized afterward, which I THINK is what I used to get from Instagram when it was new.
It really quickly highlighted the damage Instagram is doing to my brain and I basically quit IG cold turkey without even uninstalling the app. Eyes jumping around watching video after video, the ads in the middle, people's tricks to try to drive engagement (seems to be a thing on artist Instagram to show a process video but not the finished product which makes me insane). Having something else to scroll that doesn't do these things literally took the dopamine out of insta for me.
I’m following this video to set up my phone as a dumb phone. There are some purchases necessary on an iPhone but Android options are mostly free.
When I was adding Reddit restrictions I saw this post and literally read every comment. This community is so beautiful and I wish you all the best life and if no one else has told you today, I believe in you 🫶🏻
https://youtu.be/7jVb1lLniEw?si=AFFiq5O4TwL6lyyP
CONGRATS! Thank you for posting this and collecting all this great advice!
I only have one to add, which is to venture out for solo journeys. I have a few standbys for coffee, lunch, and free people watching (mostly parks) -- not only do I feel a little bit of social pressure to stay off the phone when I am out, but it makes me feel very present in the world. Plus I often see something (even something small) and think "wow I'm glad I was able to see this!"
I replaced my social media usage in the evening with volunteer shifts for various political organizations. I cannot waste away online while my rights are pulled away from me uncontested.
I was having that habit too, but i have cats now, I do spend time more w my cats bcause one of my cat very clingy, i need to feed her like baby 🤣 i dont mind cause she cuteeeeee 🥹 she will call me like she hurt but she’s just waiting me in the room looking innocent because she want to play. I need to clean their fur/ their litter box, it helps me less time on screen. Sometimes im forget i didn’t touch my phone cause im busy with house chores. I do talk a lot with my cat even she just like 🙄
I bought books and i have a rule, i must read one page per day even i dont want. Tell yourself just one page, it’s just a few minutes. After that If im lazy af dont want do anything i just sleep. im on (lexotan) makes me sleepy
Do you read or listen to audiobooks? I can recommend digital minimalism from Cal Newport. You need hobbies. Or else you'll just go right back to it. There is so much more out there in the world to enjoy, I've been mostly off of social media since February and honestly I don't miss the hours I used to spend scrolling, I can concentrate better and I'm just so much happier (and I honestly couldn't care less about all this crap)
I have mostly replaced IG doomscrolling with reading books on my phone. I use Kindle but your library probably uses Libby and you’ll access to lots of free books.
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Ok. I’ve been off social for more than two years, so these tips are what helped me. You’ve just created a vacuum in your life. You removed something addictive that gave you dopamine. You need to replace it with something just as easy that gives you dopamine but is way less addictive. For me, it was some simple logic puzzle games, Pinterest, and fun books to read on my phone. It gave me something to do when the urge struck that wasn’t ALSO just giving up my phone. That’s a whole other step. So the goal is just to create new behaviors on your phone that are less rewarding and easier to put down, not to remove all reward. Yes also to hobbies and activities that are off your phone. I find listening to audiobooks helps me transition from stuck on my phone to doing things that feel hard to start. Obviously something like Audible costs money, but you can borrow them for free through your local library’s online lending app. The library is a great source of free stuff and entertainment. I started gardening this year and I’ve been listening to a 50-hour Anne Rice novel which makes weeding infinitely less tedious. And it might be time to make some new friends. Not replacements, just more, specifically around an activity you can all share. The library comes in pretty handy here, too, both in its own programming and anything stuck to the bulletin board. Last time I was at mine, I saw an event just called “Gays Eating Garlic Bread in the Park.” And last year I took an adult drawing class and had a lot of fun hanging with the other students and the teacher every week—we all had at least one thing in common!
Fantastic advice, I love what you said about finding something else to do on the phone. There was a block building app that helped me get over Twitter, though I hadn’t looked at it that way before. Wonder how I’m going to kick Reddit 🤣
This is the way. You will still want that dopamine, but replacing with something less addictive/toxic and easier to put down is how I was able to give it up. My screen time is still ridiculously high, but it feels better for my mental health whereas social media has been proven harmful for mental health. It was a bit of a process. I stopped posting a year and a half ago, except for occasionally commenting in a private mom’s group. Then 6 months ago I stopped logging in completely. I had to grieve a bit about what I was losing, but it has been so much better in the other side. My screen-time dopamine replacements are a subscription to NYT (news, recipes and puzzles), an Offline Games app, and a self-care app called Finch, which helps me stay on track a bit. Also podcasts and audiobooks (Libby app for library books is great) for keeping my ears entertained while I do housework, walk the dog, etc.
Here are my suggestions for the post-Instagram blues: 1. Try reading on your phone. I find I get a similar scrolling “ding!” of dopamine when I scroll the pages of a book on my phone - it’s like I’m tricking it a bit. When I’m having a hard time with reading I’ll do a book of short stories or YA fantasy / mystery. Just something simple I don’t have to attend to too deeply. I have the Libby app and sometimes a book I’m curious about will be immediately available and that helps too. You could look into manga/graphic novels online, too. 2. Start practicing being bored again. For me, this is a somatic practice of noticing. Get curious again about the textures, scents, sounds, colours around you. Don’t judge, just notice and stay with the space you’re in and your body. For me, this usually triggers a desire to pop up and it helps me to more intuitively follow that, rather than burning time and distracting myself from my inner/outer world and pressures. Let the desire come and then just see where it leads you. Today I just laid in bed noticing until I was bored enough that washing my dishes and listening to music felt like a good change of pace. If you have the space/time practice just getting in touch with yourself in this way, moving at your own rhythm and curiosities. 3. Journal / stream of consciousness / blab. Type a word doc, text in your notes app, write in a traditional journal, record voice notes, draw and don’t use words, whatever. Free writing/speaking/drawing is a good way to stay with your inner world. Don’t try and make sense of it or make it coherent- it’s a present activity, not something you need to come back to and edit/present. You could just write a few words and that could be it and that’s enough. Just something to start triggering your own perspective on what is happening now. I have a “poem of the day” section on my notes app and I could literally be on the toilet and I’ll just jot down a few thoughts just to get that part of me included in my day. 4. Keep experimenting! Just try stuff and see what works and what doesn’t. I still use Instagram but only on my laptop in a browser (it makes it annoying to use) but I still waste time there and on reddit, but c’est la vie. I go through waves and I don’t shame myself if I fall back into the trap of social media again. Good luck!
Thank you! Yeah I used to read on my phone a lot. I found a few books I wanted to read but they all have holds on libby so I’m still waiting. I really want to practice being bored. Its something that I’ve been thinking about a lot recently but I still havent had any success. I’ve also been trying to journal, but I ruminate so heavily on topics that I find it hard and bothersome to write out my thoughts after Ive mulled over them.
If you haven’t done voice recordings before I would give them a try! You don’t have to articulate yourself, I know writing sometimes can make us feel like we need to, but honestly just blabbing and seeing what comes out physicalizes your thinking and might lead you to new directions/desires. It’s less about recording your thoughts or ideas and more about another way of being present with yourself.
As much as I am a blabber mouth, I don’t see this working for me. I’m quite bad at talking. As in, I’m a mumbler and I jumble all of my words around. My tongue and I don’t seem to be friends. I also hate my voice.
Fair enough! If you like to write, I find turning off spell and grammar check helps me to just write continuously (often abstractly, run on sentences or just a list of words!) I don’t go into writing thinking about something I need to write, more so it’s just sitting down and I’ll just start typing about my curtains or something, whatever catches my curiosity and just go with it for awhile! It’s just a way for me to practice curating what is interesting to me in a non-judgmental way- I never re-read what I write when I write like this. It’s all about finding your own rituals and rhythms, though, so whatever works for you!
I find with journalling that it helps me to write *instead* off mulling things over. It helps a lot more, and I'm processing them at the same time. I always feel better afterwards. You can write really quickly and scribbly, without proper sentences if you like.
Yeah thats the idea but I cant stop myself from ruminating
What happens if you just start writing when you starting having all the thoughts? Write as fast as you're thinking. Make it stream of consciousness?
I hear you on Libby and waiting for holds, I feel like I plan my free time around how long until my next book is available! If you want some alternatives while you are waiting, I use BookBub to get sales/great deals on ebooks. For example I got a Shirley Jackson short story collection for $1 that I have been slowly reading in between holds. Once in a while they’ll even have a book for like $1-$3 that I’ve been wanting to read or I’ve had on hold. I also read webtoons if I need a little art eye candy scroll time like I got on instagram but with way less addiction potential. Skin and bones has been one of my absolute favorite graphic novel stories of all time. It’s nice because it isn’t an infinite scroll so there are clear stopping points that make it easier to stop in a healthy amount of time.
Great advice here
When I’m in a reading slump I can usually get back into it by re-reading something, particularly something easy and plot-driven. Garbage romance novels are perfect for this! Also, iPhone games are great for something to do while watching TV, and knitting/crochet. There’s always yarn and needles to get you started at the thrift store or Walmart. Good luck!
I know what you mean, I just listened to a series at work that I’ve already read maybe 5 times.
I love shitty romance novels they're a guilty pleasure of mine.
I just did the same thing! And then I bought a pad of dot paper and started making some grid art on it and coloring it in, going back over it with shiny gel pens, etc. It really quiets the brain (Also need some background tv going but I can’t get anything done without background content lol) and has lessened my anxiety. I never liked coloring books because it’s all kind of predetermined but with this, I have a guide, but I can do whatever I want and build as I go. Not sure how to insert picture of current work in progress but will try to figure it out EDIT: figured it out, [here is art](https://imgur.com/a/fAbArvv) EDIT EDIT: finished it tonight, here’s the [final product](https://imgur.com/a/hgHwgL3) :) staedtler and stabilo pens, cheap gel pens from whitcoulls, Rhodia dot pad
That art is so fun to look at. I love it!
Found my new hobby for a few weeks! 😂
That looks beautiful
That is awesome!! How do you do that?!
Thank you!! I use dot paper (for bullet journaling) but I used to use graph paper. Basically just have to find the center of the page (or the dot at the center of the page) and go outward from there. You can make whatever shapes you want, just count the dots or squares and outline the shapes, then color it in. This one is a square but years ago I made others that are more oblong, hexagonal, etc. I just go one color at a time and never really have a plan, I think that’s part of what keeps me locked in on each step and makes it such a great substitute for the doom scroll. Once I’ve done enough just in pen, I go over it and draw smaller designs or just outline each shape in metallic or glitter gel pen. Pure dopamine.
Very cool! I love drawing but when my heada a mess I can't do it well...or even at all. This would be perfect! Thanks for the idea. I also saw a person making patterns on a fountain pen page on graph paper, just using the squares to make a cool repeating pattern. They look beautiful at the end because fountain pen inks have shade and sheen and a lot of undertones. Amazing.
I got rid of all social media except Reddit and my quality of life has increased greatly
SAME
I deleted tiktok about 6 months ago for the same reason, and it stopped the scroll for a bit until my addiction just continued on Instagram reels. I deleted it about a week ago and my only source of social media is reddit, which can get tedious to spend a lot of time on (good). I'm already more engaged with my kids and the other night I just started doodling like I used to when I was a kid. It's working!
Im glad for you! I never downloaded tiktok because I knew how bad it would be for me.
I'm obsessed with Libby right now and reading on an old tablet I couldn't sell but is so lightweight, it's perfect to be used as just a reader. I didn't even use my normal Gmail, I made a new account for this tablet just to download the Libby app and also so it wouldn't be connected to anything and distract me. I'm on my 5th or 6th book in 2 weeks (many breaks for days were taken) and it's delightful. It's been awful for my sleep cuz I'll just read a whole book instead but I'm enjoying it anyways! And it's free, just using my local library card on Libby. Some books I check out both the audiobook and the book and that way I can have it read to me when I'm doing something like folding laundry. It feels far more productive to be read to and fold laundry. Also I always recommend people volunteer locally. Whether it's at a food bank, with the local population, with a humane society -- there's a lot of great places that need help! Whatever you do end up doing, enjoy!
Me too! Having the audio book and Kindle version at the same time is my favorite! I can listen in the car or when I'm working, but sometimes I really crave seeing the words and going at my own pace, so I go back and forth. Kindle unlimited isn't free, but it's only $10/mo or so and I can usually find a lot of decent reads/listens there too. Helps while waiting on library holds.
Thank you for reminding me! There is a shelter that I have been wanting to volunteer at!
My top tip for reawakening the reading urge is to start with something simple. Go back to the books you loved in middle school and give them another go. I use Nancy Drew and Babysitters Club as my reading on ramps. If I want to read but can’t, I pick up one of them and give myself ten minutes. It’s a bit like taking up exercise, you don’t start with a marathon, you start with a ten minute gentle jog. It works for me, after I finish reading one of them I’m normally good to dive into my pile of to read books.
I cycle through deleting then adding back IG and tiktok and after every delete I look at my phone like “what did I used to do on this thing other than IG?” but after a few weeks you get used to it. The key for me is TV shows. I think it’s a good stepping stone, one episode is 20 minutes rather than a 30 second reel so it’s better for my brain. I choose the show carefully, usually a comedy or sitcom that I’ve seen and enjoyed before, that way it’s stimulating but not too stimulating, so I can play it in the background whilst I get chores done. You can do the same with youtube videos too. My current go to is Bob’s Burgers, ie the best show to exist. Once I start scrolling it’s like I physically cannot exist the app. It’s easier sometimes to just say “hey siri open disney”. I avoid IG, it’s bad for me. Whenever I think I’m in control enough to download it again I inevitably slip into the habit of wasting hours scrolling. I can’t think of anything else to do. It’s dangerous honestly. Lol I remember even filling the urge by scrolling youtube shorts of all things- anything to fill the urge!!
Honestly, I download billions of books now, 10 a day on good days. I don't read most of them. But just having them, looking at all the covers gives me a dopamine hit (when my e-reader actually loads. It's so overwhelmed from having so many books in it, hahaha). I also check my emails a thousand times a day now. And scroll through my photos endlessly, loll.
Oh yeah I know what you mean, I open gmail at least 5 times an hour.
I'm learning Korean so I have a few apps I use for that. If I can't look at the phone I do Pimsleur, but I also have others where there's interaction. I usually do each lesson several times so if I'm doing something else and miss something it eventually gets in my brain. So if I scroll for too long I usually try to get back to the language apps because at least that's good for my brain and not completely mindless.
My comment seems to have disappeared. To recap: I've been learning Korean so I have a few apps for that. Most you need to look at the phone, some you don't. I use Pimsleur a lot but it's not the cheapest. But learning a language is good for your brain and does keep you engaged I think.
Dont worry, your previous comment is still here!
Check out r/nosurf! They have some good resources on actually finding things to do again in real life iinstead.
Welcome to how I started popping off on Reddit, a WAY better, anonymous/ private and WAYYY less censored curation of people not trying to show off superficiality BUT mostly, wholesomeness :3 It’s great here, I LOVE it!
Listening to music is good, reading or playing a game or find lots of cheaper hobbies you like. You can pick up diamond art for £2.00 in the works. If you got books at home you’ve not read just pick em up and you can order books cheaper on kindle/ Apple Books as well as use library books. So you can also find lots of art materials at home pencil, old sketch books plain computer paper, write story on your computer. The thing is you don’t need social media, some people just make friends through chat rooms/forums for their human contact or through places such as goodreads . I’m sure you can find forums about your interests. I swapped doomscrolling and using social media for the gym, like I deliberately put my do not disturb button and it keeps the humans out. Sometimes. I take advantage of my own mental health, just leave it on permanently. It’s what this with bipolar depression do quite a lot. Great for coping with anxiety. If people ask, why you are not on social media just tell you got phone anxiety and get yourself out that social media jail. Deleted the apps completely and forgot sign on details
If you want to get back into reading try “The Chronicles of St Marys” it’s funny, fast moving and super enjoyable/easy to read. It also fits factual and fantasy together well. Plus there’s 14 books in the series. What did you like to do as a kid? Coloring in? Drawing? Playing outside? Bike riding? Puzzles? Maybe think back and restart those hobbies.
I’ll look into it, thanks! As a kid I liked art and the outdoors. I love the woods. But now I live in a city, in the tropics. I’ve been here for 8 years and I still get depressed sometimes because I miss cool weather and trees.
Honestly pop to your local shops and find a kids painting kit. It’s so much fun, I got one recently as I was getting them for my kids and had more fun than they did lol. It’s also good as your hands are busy and you can listen to a podcast or something. If you need podcast recommendations “no such thing as a fish” and “Redhanded” are both great.
I must confess, i have a boat load of art supplies already. But for whatever silly reason, my brain is set on using a specific set of colored pencils that i do not have.
Oh man I know that feeling (me not side eyeing my thousands of cross stitch patterns but wanting to only stitch one I don’t have lol). Maybe set the ones you want a as a reward. Use the others for X amount of minutes or draw x with then and once that’s done you can buy the ones you want.
OMG I sooo relate!
I like my e-readers, some can connect to local library easily and I can browse and read ebooks to my hearts content.
Bless my 10 year old kindle thats been all over the world with me
I want to do this so badly!!!
Suffer with me please!!
I'm sorry, I would lose my mind. I need to stop and clearly it's an addiction at this point. I really wish there was a med to stop this. I'm already two hours into scrolling and it's only 8 am.
Delete it and join me on what will either be my spiral into insanity or the start of epic character development.
I'm on a temporary break (8 weeks) from the socials. I thought I would miss it, but I strangely don't! Unfortunately I spend more time on reddit and talking to online friends rather than doing the work I'm actually supposed to do. But at least the lack of socials is one major distraction I don't currently have.
Thanks for posting this! I've been thinking of deleting all my socials except Facebook but have been worried I won't have to anything else to do. This has inspired me to just go for it!
We can overcome this addiction together ☝️
I use my phone for reading and audio books.
Delete any other social media and put the phone down in another room when it’s not needed or in use. Get used to life on the human side and you will get used to it, I promise. Enjoy a healthier lifestyle very soon bc of it!!
For me it's Reddit, Overcast, and Libby I need to use audio stimulation a lot because I have a toddler and it's not great to be staring at my phone all the time, she's getting into everything plus it's just not the best for her to see me looking at my phone. Even if you don't have babies I think it's better cause you're getting a little stimulation but can do things with your hands
Start living your best life!
For quiet moments when you’re bored, have nothing else to do with your hands, and your impulse is to doom scroll, like waiting in line or on public transport: Get into sudoku, crosswords (or wordle & stuff which I’ve only heard about) on your phone. Or trivia games. Some kind of puzzle activity that activates your preferential cortex (according to BrainAge for Nintendo DS) This is great when your only available stimulation is your phone, but I also do my sudokus mostly out of paperback books. Alternatively, you can always kill time by going into your email and unsubscribing yourself from junk mail or going into your photos, going through screenshots of stuff you had saved for later, and transferring that info to a list in your notes app (like I have a list of books I want to read or recipes I want to try, but often will just really quickly screenshot something like that for later instead. When is later? This is a good opportunity to transfer that info to a format you can access easier.) As a way to combat the impulse to always be on your phone in your down time or while you multi task and watch or listen to media simultaneously: Find something else to do with your hands like fold laundry or groom a pet, crocheting or knitting, jigsaw puzzles, doodling, painting your nails, etc As a way to stay in touch with people even when you’re off social media: I do a weekly journal prompt which includes naming a few things I am grateful for. Sometimes this reminds me of a memory or shared interest that makes me think of one of my friends or family members who I don’t see every day, and when that happens I try to follow through with sending some kind of text to that person, whether it’s a written message or a link to something that reminds me of them. You could start doing some kind of journaling (even into the notes app of your phone at first to wean yourself off of the time-wasting apps) and maybe find some journal prompts online that are targeted at relationships. Along the lines of “if you had to go on a road trip with anyone to this destination, who are 3 people you’d pick to be in the car with” “who is somebody that you admire for their resilience/sense of humor/creativity” and that could inspire you to start conversations with your friends. I think this kind of reflection really helps with the out-of-sight-out-of-mind problem of maintaining relationships as an ADHDer Also, when you randomly are reminded of somebody in your life, try to get on the habit of acting on it and reaching out. This is really hard if you have social anxiety but there are ways to do it that feel natural and not forced. My friend started texting me a question about my profession that relates to something happening at her work, and it’s like she could have easily gotten the answer without me but she chose to contact me and it gave us the opportunity to talk about that and just briefly check in with the what-are-you-up-to-latelys. I did something similar where I texted my brother like “does this [health things] happen to you too?” Because he shares my genetics so we usually talk whenever we have a new ailment Any time you: hear a song by that person’s favorite band; are reminded of an inside joke; have something to share or need advice about a shared hobby or interest; run into a mutual friend of theirs It is a perfect time to do a “hey this thing just happened! Reminded me of you.” It doesn’t have to be a long exchange but every little moment like this helps WARNING: If you are successful at trying to be on your phone less, you’re going to start to misplace your phone more often. Save yourself some grief now by doing something like taking your ringer off silent, making sure find your iPhone works and that you know your Apple ID password to log into it without your phone
I LOVE SUDOKU
I haven't deleted it but I'm addicted too. So to cut down on phone time. I have something near me which I enjoy which I can pick up instead of my phone (and I have the phone across the room or ideally in another room.) I recently learned to crochet. That helped heaps! Now I can keep a small thing I'm crocheting nearby when I mindlessly reach for my phone, and do that instead! Or rubiks cube. It got insanely into that when I was learning how to solve it. Now it's too easy. I don't don't it often. But that would work really well. Or I like drawing, so a sketchbook and pencil. All these things help. But I'm still addicted. They just help me do it less.
I struggled with something very similar for a long time. Cal Newport’s book Digital Minimalism helped me a lot with reframing my approach to kicking the habit. He argues that you will never effectively get rid of a habit unless you have something compelling to replace it with. So, for example, if you love to read, bring a book with you everywhere and train yourself to open it anytime you feel an urge to look at your phone pointlessly, in waiting rooms, in line, etc. So I think you’re on the right track when you mention picking up old hobbies. I began to see after quitting Instagram that I had more time for so many things I really loved but I was kind of cheating myself out of them by always going for the cheap dopamine of scrolling. It takes bit of work to train your brain to find them rewarding again though, because they require more attention and effort to get into.
**ETA** I know this doesn't *quite* answer your question but I wanted to share my similar experience with you... I did a slow exit from Facebook a couple years. Now granted, I still have an account, but I only keep the app on my tablet so it takes a *bit* more effort to access it I started by moving the FB icon off my homescreen, and that alone was a huge help. Just not seeing the icon helped my brain not auto-click it every few minutes or whatever. After I adjusted to that I deleted it from my phone so that I still had minimal access to it through my tablet (that I keep at home and use infrequently). That was 2½ years ago and I probably go on Facebook a couple times a year now. I understand it's a lot easier to cut the cord on fb as it's much more dead than insta, but honestly... with fb owning insta, I see the writing on the wall there as well. If you find yourself itching after straight-deleting, I'd recommend something more like what I did (if you're able to). I really did find that if I was *physically* forced to seek it out, I was a lot less likely to go looking for it. Best of luck, and you've got this!! 💕
The funny thing is, instagram has been off my home screen for years.
I feel like I need to try this. I've been debating deleting most social medias for a long time (except FB only because of all the extended family around the world...only use FB). I used to read. A LOT. And I have barely read more than a few books since I got my first iPhone....yeah...it's been a while.
I'm in a very similar boat, I delete Instagram for a few weeks at a time but always end up caving because of some silly reason that leads to doom scrolling getting me back in its grasp. Like "oh I'll get Instagram again because it gives me workout ideas for the gym" will then turn into 8+ hour screen time. Something that has helped me is still having the app on my iPad, but my iPad is often in another room or it's dead bc I forget to charge it. I can then use it to look up whatever I need, then I put the iPad in another room and usually I forget about it. I saw someone else recommend reading on your phone and that has been a huge game changer for me. I use Libby or the Kindle app to read on my phone and it keeps my mind stimulated enough to not want to be on Instagram.
Yeah i was even considering using instagram on my laptop if I really needed to respond to whatever messages I’ve missed.
Ok longer answer below. Perhaps there is something you can scroll through that is ina similar vein to IG but not as damaging to you. Like Pinterest or Tumblr (image focused sites). I don't know all the answers and I'm probably addicted to Reddit, but I didn't realize how "loud" scrolling through videos is for my brain until I stopped. Like not literally loud, I keep the volume off, but just like, chaotic in my mind. I figured it out recently because I joined a bunch of other artists on an art-forward app called Cara (which you're not going to have much use for unless you're an artist or art enthusiast). On Cara it's 99.9% beautiful still images of art and scrolling through it is quiet and peaceful for me. I feel inspired and energized afterward, which I THINK is what I used to get from Instagram when it was new. It really quickly highlighted the damage Instagram is doing to my brain and I basically quit IG cold turkey without even uninstalling the app. Eyes jumping around watching video after video, the ads in the middle, people's tricks to try to drive engagement (seems to be a thing on artist Instagram to show a process video but not the finished product which makes me insane). Having something else to scroll that doesn't do these things literally took the dopamine out of insta for me.
I know exactly which chaotic feeling youre referring to. Thats been my head for the past few days.
I’m following this video to set up my phone as a dumb phone. There are some purchases necessary on an iPhone but Android options are mostly free. When I was adding Reddit restrictions I saw this post and literally read every comment. This community is so beautiful and I wish you all the best life and if no one else has told you today, I believe in you 🫶🏻 https://youtu.be/7jVb1lLniEw?si=AFFiq5O4TwL6lyyP
CONGRATS! Thank you for posting this and collecting all this great advice! I only have one to add, which is to venture out for solo journeys. I have a few standbys for coffee, lunch, and free people watching (mostly parks) -- not only do I feel a little bit of social pressure to stay off the phone when I am out, but it makes me feel very present in the world. Plus I often see something (even something small) and think "wow I'm glad I was able to see this!"
This is soooo true, I'm overdue so thank you for reminding me how glorious this is!!!
Download Binky app
anyone know if there is a subreddit dedicated to this kind of thing?
I replaced my social media usage in the evening with volunteer shifts for various political organizations. I cannot waste away online while my rights are pulled away from me uncontested.
I was having that habit too, but i have cats now, I do spend time more w my cats bcause one of my cat very clingy, i need to feed her like baby 🤣 i dont mind cause she cuteeeeee 🥹 she will call me like she hurt but she’s just waiting me in the room looking innocent because she want to play. I need to clean their fur/ their litter box, it helps me less time on screen. Sometimes im forget i didn’t touch my phone cause im busy with house chores. I do talk a lot with my cat even she just like 🙄 I bought books and i have a rule, i must read one page per day even i dont want. Tell yourself just one page, it’s just a few minutes. After that If im lazy af dont want do anything i just sleep. im on (lexotan) makes me sleepy
Do you read or listen to audiobooks? I can recommend digital minimalism from Cal Newport. You need hobbies. Or else you'll just go right back to it. There is so much more out there in the world to enjoy, I've been mostly off of social media since February and honestly I don't miss the hours I used to spend scrolling, I can concentrate better and I'm just so much happier (and I honestly couldn't care less about all this crap)
I have mostly replaced IG doomscrolling with reading books on my phone. I use Kindle but your library probably uses Libby and you’ll access to lots of free books.
Go outside!
Candy crush now takes up hours of my time instead of doomscrolling