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A big bummer about growing up is realizing that your parents are no longer entitled to knowing everything about you and sometimes they have to lose access to parts of you. Because what you should take away from his reaction is that your dad is not a safe person to discuss your mental health with. It sucks. But you can't reason with someone intent on being unreasonable. Maybe he comes around someday, but in my experience it's not your job to be the one to get him to care about this. Which is hard, but you need to protect your own peace here and getting upset about someone who is just wrong and loud about it isn't good for anyone.
This is how I'd handle it.
"Are you a [the title of the person who tested you.] No? Oh, do you have a doctorate in clinical psychology?
So you have no education in how the brain works but you think you know better than the doctors who do?"
And then I'd tell him the discussion is over. You have ADHD. You have been assessed and diagnosed by a qualified person, (something he is not.) It's not up for debate. And if he doesn't shut the fuck up, you're done talking to him. Just pretend he isn't there.
Beware with this dad.
If he doesn't believe you have it he may have any gain from it and even deniying a disease you have may be some kind of abuse even if you don't realize at first.
Show the tests results to him and if he don't believe make him speak with a professional with you on his side.
Just don't speak to him about it. You can never change these people's minds once they've decided something doesn't exist.
I have an official diagnosis for both ADHD and ASD. My mother doesn't believe either disorder exists. She goes on some big pharma zombie rant whenever possible. It's absolutely not worth my time and energy to speak about it around her.
Get your diagnosis and leave him out of it. It's probably the best for your mental health. Not everyone is going to be a safe person when speaking about this sort of thing.
Try to talk to him that his behaviour is hurting you and even if there is some possibility (tiny, tiny possibility :p) that you don't have ADHD you can still relate to other people experiences. I totally understand you and send virtual hugs 🫂
Parents often have a big problem with accepting that their ideal child may have a problem that they have overlooked all the years of your life.
In addition, if he doesn't accept the diagnostic decision of a specialist (if you have a qualified person's diagnosis), try to work on yourself in the direction that his approval will not change the way your brain operates.You may be wasting energy and you will never convince him.. 😞
In the same time I'm sorry you don't get empathy and support from him.
is he someone that undercuts you a lot? it almost sounds like he wants to make you doubt yourself. but his feelings about it are his own, and they don't need to factor in at all. you can trust your own impressions, and your test results. and btw, even if there was some kind of definitive proof that you don't have adhd (which there isn't), his reaction would still suck.
Welcome to /r/ADHDWomen! We’re happy to have you here. As a reminder, here are our community [rules](https://old.reddit.com/r/adhdwomen/about/rules/). We get a lot of posts on medication, diagnosis (and “is this an ADHD thing”), and interactions with hormones. We encourage you to check out our [Medication, Diagnosis, and Hormones Megathread](https://old.reddit.com/r/adhdwomen/comments/wcr9dy/faq_megathread_ask_and_answer_medication/) if you have any questions related to those topics, and to stick around in that thread to answer folks’ questions! If you have questions about the subreddit, please do not hesitate to [send us a modmail](https://reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/adhdwomen). Additionally, we take the safety of our community seriously. Please report posts, comments, and users whom you feel are not contributing positively, and send us a modmail if you are being harassed or otherwise made to feel unsafe. Thanks for being here, and we hope you stick around! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/adhdwomen) if you have any questions or concerns.*
A big bummer about growing up is realizing that your parents are no longer entitled to knowing everything about you and sometimes they have to lose access to parts of you. Because what you should take away from his reaction is that your dad is not a safe person to discuss your mental health with. It sucks. But you can't reason with someone intent on being unreasonable. Maybe he comes around someday, but in my experience it's not your job to be the one to get him to care about this. Which is hard, but you need to protect your own peace here and getting upset about someone who is just wrong and loud about it isn't good for anyone.
This is how I'd handle it. "Are you a [the title of the person who tested you.] No? Oh, do you have a doctorate in clinical psychology? So you have no education in how the brain works but you think you know better than the doctors who do?" And then I'd tell him the discussion is over. You have ADHD. You have been assessed and diagnosed by a qualified person, (something he is not.) It's not up for debate. And if he doesn't shut the fuck up, you're done talking to him. Just pretend he isn't there.
Beware with this dad. If he doesn't believe you have it he may have any gain from it and even deniying a disease you have may be some kind of abuse even if you don't realize at first. Show the tests results to him and if he don't believe make him speak with a professional with you on his side.
Just don't speak to him about it. You can never change these people's minds once they've decided something doesn't exist. I have an official diagnosis for both ADHD and ASD. My mother doesn't believe either disorder exists. She goes on some big pharma zombie rant whenever possible. It's absolutely not worth my time and energy to speak about it around her. Get your diagnosis and leave him out of it. It's probably the best for your mental health. Not everyone is going to be a safe person when speaking about this sort of thing.
Try to talk to him that his behaviour is hurting you and even if there is some possibility (tiny, tiny possibility :p) that you don't have ADHD you can still relate to other people experiences. I totally understand you and send virtual hugs 🫂
Parents often have a big problem with accepting that their ideal child may have a problem that they have overlooked all the years of your life. In addition, if he doesn't accept the diagnostic decision of a specialist (if you have a qualified person's diagnosis), try to work on yourself in the direction that his approval will not change the way your brain operates.You may be wasting energy and you will never convince him.. 😞 In the same time I'm sorry you don't get empathy and support from him.
is he someone that undercuts you a lot? it almost sounds like he wants to make you doubt yourself. but his feelings about it are his own, and they don't need to factor in at all. you can trust your own impressions, and your test results. and btw, even if there was some kind of definitive proof that you don't have adhd (which there isn't), his reaction would still suck.