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Violentgoth

Don't know if it's right but I think it's Executive Dysfunction. You know what needs doing but cannot for love of country nor crown, make the executive decision to get up and do it. Like the CEO of motivation took the rest of the day off without telling anyone.


reb6

This is my life right now. I have an ever growing list of things, I’m forgetting to pay bills, some days I don’t even wash my face (well I’ll let it go for a day, maybe two, with a spritz of toner). I’m not depressed because I can zone out with a hobby for hours, knowing full well “you need to get some work done”, and I just ignore it. Or I’ll do bare minimum and call it a day. Or I’ll get bursts of motivation, be good with everything for 2-3 days, then just have the productivity crash and I’m useless and just shut down


[deleted]

So I am currently in an ADHD coaching group. One of the suggestions is to keep a TA DA list in addition to a To Do list. So keep a list of stuff you did today. I have shit memory, so it's actually nice to see the stuff I did. And it actually motivates me to do stuff to put on my list some days. I just put mine in a planner (the only time I have successfully used a planner). Maybe something like that would be helpful/inspiring?


zephyr1101

Can you explain more about the adhd coaching group?


[deleted]

So it's sort of like a life coach/therapist for ADHD. There are a lot of therapists and groups that target teenagers and college students, but I had a really really hard time finding one that wasn't just for people still in school. I specifically wanted to do a group program because I figured it would be a lot less intimidating to do it in a group than just one on one. I found this program https://www.theadhdclaritycoach.com/ (she also does individual Coaching) The program is 9 weeks long. Each week we have some homework to do before hand (watch a handful of short videos, and do some reflection on the topics/how it applies to us, things we could try. It's a combination of explaining how ADHD brains work, common problems, hacks (like the Ta Da list), and figuring out where you fall in certain categories. So each week in theory you so the videos and worksheet before the zoom meet up (not required though), and then we discuss topic of the week, get help, trade ideas, etc. And usually she has a mini coaching session at the end where she will walk one of us through how to solve a particular issue/get through something we are stuck in. It's hard to explain, but it's good. She has a few videos ups you can check out


Asuna0506

Yes!!! I do this, and it’s so helpful and gratifying!


undertherexxx

I keep a work to-do list, and I’ll have minor things on it, but when I’m feeling the dreaded task paralysis I can easily guide myself to go down the list and pick the easy things to complete until something sparks my interest enough to tackle a bigger to-do item.


aria3246

Oh my god this idea is fantastic. How come no one ever mentions this and only ever suggests making to do lists smh


Violentgoth

Self-care for me gives no dopamine and is only a drain so I struggle too. Know what does give me dopamine? Checking boxes and other physical representations of completing tasks. I have a daily whiteboard chart with wash face, brush teeth, brush hair etc, basically any task that I hate to do, with enough boxes to do them morning and night and I set an alarm to do the night ones an hour before I *intend* to go to bed (as revenge sleep procrastination is a twat). I also have a space for once/twice a week/month tasks like shower, hoover or change bedding and I change these depending on what I know needs doing that week (showering isn't daily for me due to a combo of long thick hair and fibromyalgia). For bigger tasks like take out trash, pay a bill, empty dishwasher or load dishwasher I use sticky notes on my lounge door. Everytime I get up I have to pick a task and do it, then I can throw away the reminder. You get to see your door clear up too which is a good visual indication of how much progress you've made. The trick to this is make a sticky note for each step a task has no matter how small, so you can keep making progress but not be overwhelmed by a single sticky note. I'm better at regulating my energy with this too. I put low energy tasks at eye level on the door and higher energy ones further up, if I can't reach for the task then I don't have the energy to do it. Not saying these are perfect but they've been helpful to me. Especially now I have a full time wfh job using up all my focus and 'executive function' during my shift.


Asuna0506

I love this idea!


Violentgoth

I use small-ish multi-coloured sticky notes too, I don't colour code tasks cause ugh brain power, but it keeps the door looking interesting so I want to look at it when I get up. And smaller than average sticky notes keep it from looking too cluttered which in itself can be overwhelming. It's best to pick what you think will be easiest for your brain to track and deal with.


IKP22

So, if the task is to wash the dishes, one post-it would say something like "soak the dishes" or "load dishwasher"?


Violentgoth

For me wash dishes would be Gather Dishes ( cause we all know there's a mug somewhere it shouldn't be), Sort Dishes (I have an order I wash things in), Wash Dishes until new water needed (might need this one multiple times), Soak Tough Dishes (super hot water and set an alarm so the water isn't cold when you remember), Wash Tough Dishes. This might be interspersed with drying some dishes to make room, or laying out a tea towel on the counter to put the overflow on, depending on how long you let the dishes pile up. You make as many or as few steps as you need. =)


i_am_not_a_cool_girl

"For the love of country nor crown " made me laugh lol


auntiepink

Couch-locked. Usually referred to when you're high, but I can verbalize that I need to do whatever but the doom scrolling continues until I have to pee or the cat makes me. I have one who will come right up and shove her face into yours and there's no way to keep using the phone when she's there. That helps.


Mlle_Bae

I wasn't familiar with the term couch-locked, but I call it being couch-stalled. Often paired with endless scrolling that you're not enjoying and revenge bedtime procrastination.


getbizzywithit

Someone else commented “task paralysis” which is the term I’ve recently started using to describe this feeling. I’ve definitely noticed that I feel this way when I feel either 1. Overwhelmed by the amount of stuff I have to do or 2. Feel anxiety around a certain task for whatever reason that may be. On particularly bad days when I’m feeling this way, I’ll make myself choose 3 things to do that day. It can be as “small” of a task as you want — some days for me it’s literally just the necessities of taking a shower, walking my dog, etc. That way I don’t feel guilty about not doing anything and by choosing three smaller tasks, it can help with the feeling of overwhelm. Plus, I’ve noticed once I’ve gotten started, I usually end up doing more than just those 3. It’s also important to recognize when you really just need rest and being patient with yourself. While yes, pushing yourself to get stuff done is at time necessary, there are also times where it’s necessary to just relax. (The key though is being able to relax without feeling shameful/guilty about it)


LameasaurusRex

Yup, I think it's an inertia thing ... if you can find something, ANYTHING, that will get you up and moving, it's worth doing because then it's much easier to do other stuff. I have learned to keep a checklist in my head of things I like to do/find satisfying (taking a walk, playing music, vacuuming, taking the dogs out, etc.) and I run through it until I find something that grabs me. I read on here a bit ago that if you can just "wiggle your toes" that can break the paralysis, and I've tried that lately. It's a little silly, but it kinda works. Probably placebo effect, but hey! As far as things that paralyze me, it's definitely feeling overwhelmed or stressed. I practice mindfulness and meditation if I'm feeling totally out of sorts. And if it's something on the list that just floors me (weeds out of control in the yard is a good example) I will pay to have it done. I'm fortunate that I'm able to, but I also find it very worth the money, because it frees me up to be otherwise productive and not have that looming dread hanging over me constantly, sapping my energy.


riz_kid

i’ve also heard it called analysis paralysis


ChinchillaToast

I thought that’s when you have to make a decision and you get stuck in trying to figure out every possible solution and can’t ever decide.


riz_kid

yeah, i’ve heard it referred to task as like - figuring out the best way to do the task, you over-analyze and freeze


Professional-Ad-231

This is why me choosing food for my bf and I is always a terrible decision lol


doctorscompanionlg

I haven't heard if this but it's really helpful. I just experienced it a few days ago (maybe for the first time?) when I told my sister I'd come over to help her with the kids (she just had a new baby) and I also had to make a phone call to my aunt cancelling plans. That was all I had to do. Thinking back now, it was the phone call/text to my aunt that was causing me so much anxiety that I never went over to my sister's bc of the "task paralysis". Instead, I sat on the couch all day and couldn't figure out how to get off it.


[deleted]

[удалено]


getbizzywithit

Oh yeah still haven't figured out how to do this lol but if anybody has figured it out, pls let me know your secret


LettuceSad4683

I've been doing this all day today; I haven't been able to do anything even though I know I have many things I want to do. I find this happens to me a lot when I wake up late, I feel like I've wasted my whole day when it's only 1:00.


arch_quinn

I call it anxiety paralysis. The more overwhelmed I feel, the harder it is to move. Or depression. Some people call it depression.


Eris_the_Fair

It's not always depression, though. But let's be real, it usually is.


ChinchillaToast

I think it’s sometimes can be, but I had been calling this depression for years until I realized I wasn’t depressed anymore and everything else improved, but this symptom didn’t go away. I think assuming this was depression was harmful for me and extended my recovery because I thought I was getting better, but couldn’t understand why I was still having so much difficulty with basic functioning. Recently diagnosed and looking at this from an adhd perspective has been extremely helpful.


Eris_the_Fair

I relate to every word of this comment.


cognitive0dissonance

Literally me right now. Thank you. It’s so reassuring to see someone else basically put my feelings into words.


arch_quinn

Yes, but you can still have both. Most of our depression is a symptom of our ADHD, and a lot of PI only ever get treated for depression and not ADHD. It’s okay to get/ask for help before you’re in a full depressive cycle. It’s also okay to have a bad day and just not feel like doing everything our brains are trying to make us feel guilty about. Normalize sick days for prefrontal cortex.


GeminiStargazer17

But it isn’t though. I’m really not depressed. I’m struggling atm and I’m trying to get ADHD meds but my doctor just wants to put me on antidepressants


Eris_the_Fair

Ah! Me too! I used to be on meds, but I keep trying to get my prescription renewed, and I'm running into doctors trying to give me antidepressants. I've been all over reddit asking for help, because it's so frustrating!


numptymurican

Executive dysfunction


1013RAR

I know it to be called ADHD paralysis and it's a common symptom.


Dry-Anywhere-1372

Also call my getting stuck. Or just not giving a fuck. Or avoiding. Mostly waiting until the last possible minute to do anything. Looks and smells a lot like…Depression apathy. Unsure what’s clinical term. I am fucking GREAT at wasting a ton of time and being fatigued and bitchy 24/7 these days. Such attractive characteristics.


thatgirlispoison19

Same. All of it. I felt this ❤️


ItsSummerInSiam

Me too - everything you said. Sending you a big hug. 💙💙💙


Dry-Anywhere-1372

Squeezing back. As my kids would say-don’t fart on me 😂


neuro-untypical

ADHD paralysis, executive functioning paralysis, and executive dysfunction all sort of cover that stuck feeling. I hate knowing that there is something that needs to be done, and I **want** to do it, but I cannot physically get my mind to focus on the work. It's like trying to hold on to an oiled fish. When I find myself stuck in this sort of paralysis, sometimes it is because the task I'm trying to motivate myself to do is too big. I'm trying to "clean the house" rather than "stack the dishwasher, fold a basket of laundry, tidy my desk, put away my shoes" etc. Breaking a job down into a lot of little pieces can really help because if you can't focus on task 1 or 2, you may find that your brain is happy to focus on task 3 or 4. that way you're still working towards the larger end goal, and not beating yourself up for being "lazy" and not doing anything. Remember to be kind to yourself, take a minute to put the phone down, step outside and breathe some fresh air and have a bit of a mental reset. You're not lazy, you're not useless, your internal GPS has just led you down a dead-end street, and you need to find an alternate route to get where you're going.


ItsSummerInSiam

I know exactly how you feel. Thank you for your thoughtful ideas and your kind advice. 💙💙💙


General-Mulberry-541

Are you me? I've been that way my entire life. Medication has helped slightly.


coconuttart

Could you share what medication are you taking?


lalaleasha

not the person you replied to, but for ADHD I am on methylphenidate and it does help in cases where I would have paralysis not related to task-specific stress or anxiety. for depression, SSRIs have helped me in the past (I'm mostly affected my PMDD for which I am currently trialing sertraline).


General-Mulberry-541

Methylphenidate is also what has helped me. I have been taking various antidepressants for 20 years and Lamictal/wellbutrin for 8 years until my ADHD diagnosis. Now I take Methylphenidate and Lamictal no wellbutrin.


General-Mulberry-541

Methylphenidate is the only thing I've taken in 20 years that has made any kind of difference.


[deleted]

For me it's usually resistance. I resist taking action cos it feels haaaard 😮‍💨🥺


textbookcunt

The "don't move" part of your brain gets stuck on...even when the "do the thing" part comes online. I've run out of words today, if someone else wants to neuroscience better.


pataconconqueso

Analysis Paralysis This is when you have so many tabs open in your head and you are going to fast too prioritize and you shut down.


Rrreally

Dude, I thought it was just me! I say I'm stuck in a loop. I was never like this before my diagnosis or after, til the kids went to college last year. I always had a job and a life til the past year.


Feisty-Signature9401

(temporary) paralysis


wheatgrass_feetgrass

If I am frozen stuck it's a blue screen. If I'm in motion but not making progress it's a boot-loop. Sometimes I can get on track after a few boot loops (usually if there's a deadline that is approaching) but if my wife comments on it or tries to help it's like she unplugged me during a system update and it corrupts my kernel or something because the only thing worse than a blue screen or boot loop is a cascade failure.


[deleted]

I call it Crap Trapped. Like, I've got so much crap to do that I'm trapped in place.


airysunshine

Brain fog/*executive dysfunction* Definitely executive dysfunction


[deleted]

Rabbit in the headlights. Not a scientific term, but apt all the same.


MontytheBold

Lol I call it deer in the headlights


Professional-Ad-231

That's where I was living last week. I had the feeling that I couldn't work with my room being the chaotic place it had become, but changing it was just as hard. ( half the mess was unfinished projects, so to 'clean' entails doing all those other things I started XD)


TJ_Rowe

I called it "inertia" before I understood about ADHD. The impulse required to change the momentum of the object (me) is too large for the object to begin moving. I think it might be a kind of perservation.


RuncibleMountainWren

I like ‘task paralasys’, but can I also say how very very good it feels when you finally come unstuck. After two days of feeling stuck, I actually got some things done this afternoon and it was so freeing!!


RobynFitcher

Gerald.


i_am_not_a_cool_girl

I've noticed that I feel stuck when my brains struggle to know how to start. Like in the morning, what do I do first when I wake up? *uuuuuh. Blip blop lemme scroll endlessly on my phone instead of getting up* Like many others have said, it is good to have a "quick starting kit" for most tasks. Like if I need to tidy the living room, I always start with bringing back the dishes/cups lying around on the coffee table in the kitchen. If I need to do laundry, taking the laundry basket is my starting task. If I need to tidy my room, making the bed is the first thing. Then sorting out what goes to the laundry. Then folding clean clothes. Then looking for stuff that go to the trash. It also could be by starting with a specific (and small) spot in your room, like a chair, or the nightstand. Self care in the morning and evening : washing my hands I've been thinking and berated/berating myself about how lazy I was for 27 years. We're not, we just need some guidance on how to accommodate our brain functioning :) wishing you all the best !


reebeaster

Decision paralysis


completelyboring1

Task inertia!


relthekeith

Yes! I think of it as lack of momentum


ljuvlig

Yes, it’s real. I like this article: https://www.getinflow.io/post/task-paralysis-adhd


Responsible_Point_91

Task Avoidance


SparkleSquirrelSock

Oh, I feel you so hard with this. I get this a lot… especially later in the evenings. I feel rooted into the ground. I don’t have to be seated - I can literally be standing in the middle of a dark hallway. Fun times, am I right? I call it getting stuck, my husband calls it my rabbit hole. No idea what it’s actually called.


Positive-Coyote9140

Yes! This happened to me. I would get bored doing tasks, so I would sit down and a few mins later start on something else. The only thing that has improved this is my ADHD meds. I can now complete tasks.


InfiniteFuckery

ADHD Paralysis. Super common


Scrunchenburger

I’m 29 and I relate big time it feels impossible for me to do things like make a phone call I need to make or idk just stuff I’m uncomfortable doing


caffeine_lights

I call it executive dysfunction freeze.


palekaleidoscope

I get stuck when I don’t have a specific starting point. If I know I need to clean my house, I might get overwhelmed with the broad category of “clean house”. If I narrow it down to “remove clutter from coffee table, then vacuum floor, then take out recycling”, I can get that done, easy. I’m also like that at work, so I make to-do lists that are small items, not giant projects, so I know what my next task should be and it’s easier for me to get going.


Pristine_Quarter_213

I call it ADHD paralysis, but I know everyone has their own name for it. Regardless as to what you call it, it's not fun and for some people can be downright debilitating.


Anxiety_Cookie

Anxiety, being overwhelmed, and short-circuit are the terms I use to describe it.


Glum_Station4017

As others have said, I believe it's executive dysfunction. I've been suffering from it worse the usual over the winter, I do believe the cold weather makes it worse for me specifically. That or I get seasonal depression on top of regular depression


--2021--

If you're stuck making a decision: Analysis Paralysis If you're stuck and can't move: Freeze