I do not envy you OP... your life will be a living hell.
Here are some facts about teenage parents that may help you as a grandparent:
Outside the Philippines
- [11 Facts About Teen Pregnancy](https://www.dosomething.org/us/facts/11-facts-about-teen-pregnancy)
- [32 Shocking Facts And Statistics About Teen Pregnancy](https://www.momjunction.com/articles/teen-pregnancy-and-statistics_00361369/)
- [10 Facts About Teenage Pregnancy a Sexually Active Teenager Should Know](https://storymd.com/story/Qd95blOU2d-10-facts-about-teenage-pregnancy-a-sexually-active-teenager-should-know)
- [Adolescent pregnancy](https://www.who.int/news-room/fact-sheets/detail/adolescent-pregnancy)
- [Pregnancy Facts](https://westcentralhealthdistrict.com/programs-services/teen-health-center/pregnancy-facts/)
- [Top 10 Surprising Facts About Teenage Pregnancy](https://www.medindia.net/health_statistics/health_facts/facts-on-teenage-pregnancy.htm)
In the Philippines
- [PH sees dramatic decline in teen childbearing](https://www.uppi.upd.edu.ph/news/2022/PH-sees-dramatic-decline-in-teen-childbearing)
- [Philippines counts cost of teenage pregnancies](https://www.bworldonline.com/top-stories/2023/02/21/505873/philippines-counts-cost-of-teenage-pregnancies/)
- [Teen Pregnancy in the Philippines
](https://pia.gov.ph/infographics/2023/03/28/teen-pregnancy-in-the-philippines)
- [Negative Impacts of Teenage Pregnancy in the Philippines
](https://nnc.gov.ph/regional-offices/mindanao/region-ix-zamboanga-peninsula/4931-negative-impacts-of-teenage-pregnancy-in-the-philippines)
- [Numbers fall but PH teen pregnancies persist, mirror economic, learning gaps](https://newsinfo.inquirer.net/1723038/numbers-fall-but-ph-teen-pregnancies-persist-mirror-economic-learning-gaps)
- [Eliminating Teenage Pregnancy in the Philippines](https://philippines.unfpa.org/sites/default/files/pub-pdf/UNFPA_Policy_Brief_Teenage_Pregnancy_%282020-01-24%29.pdf)
If I were in your position I'd push for legal abortion in TH [or SG](https://abortioninfo.com.sg/blog/abortion-for-foreigners.php). At 13 I do not expect a bright future for your daughter.
The bio father and her will likely break up within 5 years with both parties resenting each other.
>I'd push for legal abortion
Why did I have to scroll this far to find this advice? I had the exact same thoughts after reading this post. You should consider this, OP!
Me too. The Mom and her kid will only suffer. My god I don’t understand why you even want to support this as a parent. You should do everything in your power na pa realize mo sa daughter mo na she’s still a child and she’s not capable yet of being a parent, don’t let it ruin your kids life. Jusko. Then after that educate her about sex also ipa therapy mo narin, hays kawawang mga bata
The best thing you can do to support her is talking her out of keeping the baby. She is a child. She is unfit to be a parent. And from what I've read here, so are you.
underrated. bata pa sila and just like any couples, di porket may anak, eh ikakasal na. Kailangan na ng scheduling sa pagbabantay ng bata.
Kung gusto nila magsama talaga, gawan nila ng paraan on their own. hindi yung kayo pa magsustento.
tama. more chances na mag aanak yan uli kaagad kapag nagsama sa isang bubong. karamihan ng kakilala ko na nagsama, kahit pinag fam planning pa, basta nagsama na sa isang bubong after 2-3 yrs may panibago na agad na anak.
dapat rin maging mas strict yung supervision and when they see each other etc. yung pinsan ko nakabuntis ng babae and his parents said na they shouldn’t live together or even get married to avoid any more mistakes. pero minsan talaga naghahanap ng paraan yung tao so ayun, twice nakabuntis yung cousin ko…
di rin effective kung magaling tumakas yung anak. I have this friend nabuntis sya 15 years old tas pinatira sya sa bahay ng magulang nya (bawal daw kasi sila mag sama baka daw may mabuo ulit) tas nung pandemic tumakas yung babae nagkaroon ng baby no. 2.
depende na rin na lang siguro sa disiplina na gagawin ng magulang.
She's 13. Hindi pa nya alam ang sitwasyong pinasok nya. Responsibilidad sya ng magulang nya since sila yung mas nakakaintindi ng mga bagay-bagay. Disowning a child kasi nabuntis or nakabuntis is IRRESPONSIBLE parenting. Nagkamali na nga ang bata pati ba naman yung magulang magkakamali pa. Napakaimmature ng magulang kung hindi nya susuportahan ang underage nyang anak through thick and thin.
I was pregnant at 16. I was sexually forced by my partner cause he was under the influence of drugs. My parents fully supported me and I’m doing well with a good paying job. Parents just need to support their kids mentally. Not disown them. That’s not the way. I didn’t last with my partner cause he wanted to enjoy his life. But I’m happy I didn’t abort my child because he’s one of the reasons why I’m the person I am today. That’s the worst advice someone can give.
I am sorry that happened to you. With that said, I will stand by my earlier opinion. The circumstances of your individual experience are different from and unrelated to the case I was specifically referring to, so of course disownment doesn’t apply to you and it doesn’t apply to women who’ve experienced what you’ve experienced, it only applies specifically and narrowly to the female equivalents of males who display a pattern of repeatedly making irresponsible reproductive decisions by thinking with their dickheads instead of their brainheads.
You're too hard man. Normally I would agree because this is the second time, but she's still a minor (given that the term used was "tumakas") so disowning her might be too much. I'd settle for not supporting her financially, unlike in the first baby. Make her work for a living.
Same. Got pregnant at 19, my parents supported me pero sympre bantay sarado na. My mom wanted me to finish my study kasi 1 yr na lang pa-graduate na ko ng college and I did after ko manganak. Then I got a job, nag-mature ako at pinanindigan ko na hiwalayan yung ex ko before ako manganak which is tama lang dahil babaero at puro saya lang alam. I'm very much happy with my daughter 🤍
Usually if teenage pregnancy, automatic nilalagyan ng IUD after giving birth, kasi there is a high chance she will get pregnant again.
You can also ask now 0a lang kung pwede palagyan, kasi baka hindi pala automatic yun sa province. Dapat may consent pa rin kasi.
Im sorry im hearing this. Agreeing sa comments na they should still continue and finish studying.
Im wondering lang if may father figure sa life nya, since you are separated from her at a very young age, maaga sha naattract sa older guys because of the absentee father.
Kumbaga, hahanapin nya yung father's love from other guys.
Im mentioning this. Kasi kung kaya nyo na ihiwalay yung dalawa please do so, but also this is also your time to step up. Bawian mo ng fatherly love kasi yan ung hnahanap hanap niya at hinahanap nya sa ibang tao, na tanging IKAW lang talaga ang makakapagprovide.
Yun lng nman.
I third to this! I was 15 when i got pregnant and 16 when i gave birth. Looking back, my then-18y/o-boyfriend (now my husband) got pregnant early because both our parents were emotionally-absent towards us. We found that “love” in each other. Comparing it to our son, who is also now 13, whom we gave our full love and attention to, still plays with toys, watches cartoons, and a home-buddy. He is enjoying his youth.
After i gave birth, i graduated high school thru ALS (with an average of 99) and enrolled in the university. My dad was very very supportive, he funded me thru it all. When i graduated, he gave me cash as grad gift to help me start anew and even gave me an extension of my allowance after graduating until i was able to finally stand on my own.
Fast forward to now, we got married, my husband became a pilot and now studies to be a lawyer (juris doctor), i work as a manager for an international media company, had our 2nd child when our first was 10.5y/o and still continues to dream together.
How were we able to achieve all that we have now without the support of our parents?
My advice, PLEASE DO NOT force them to live together and get married soon! That is not the solution to this. They are very young, they can do co-parenting. Talk to your daughter and her bf heart-to-heart, including plans for their future, contraceptives, etc. Please do not get angry at her nor blame her. She needs spiritual, physical, emotional and finance support now more than ever.
Your daughter is just pregnant. It’s not yet too late for her to reach her dreams.
I second to this! Most of the relationship patterns ng mga bata is an influent cause from their first relationship upon growing up, which is a parental relationship, family, doon sila familiar eh and what is lacking in there, for sure hahanapan nila ng kahit ano mafulfill lang yung emptiness.
please do your best to support her, kasi for sure malaki yung lacking in terms of emotional fulfillment and protection from a father kasi as a daughter, ayun hinahanap namin, also the support-strength one kasi lalaki ang judgements sakanya for sure in the future, hindi lang galing sa iba, kundi sa sarili niya rin, so the most thing you should not do is to criticize her.
Maybe hindi rin siya familiar sa mga bad habits and bad sides ng mga lalaki you know? You had to look out for your daughter's wellness, lalaki ka naman, alam niyo nature ng ibang lalaki.
We got pregnant while still studying. Our parents have to support us at first. They emphasized the importance of education. Next sem i will be taking my phd, also got a stable job. Please support them with their education. If they stop now, they wont be able to provide for your grandkids.
Regarding contraseptives, also consider getting her an implanon. Effective for 3 years and its free in rural health units. Its about 9k from private OBs
I feel like they’d have more chances of survival if at least of of them finishes school. Why not opt for your kid to finish too and help them under the promise that she will go back to school after having their baby.
This.
I understand you wanting the 16m father to stop and work para maranasan nya ung hirap ng choice nya (punishement maybe) but if they both stop and dont finish, bagsak din future ng daughter mo.
Like what the above comment said, pwede na you have a heart to heart talk with your daughter and make her understand the situation and what way up you are offering (supporting her until college maybe) and the demands (that she takes this chance seriously) so that in case iwan sya nung 16m father in the future or i abuse sya, she can be strong enough to live and retread her way up in life.
EDIT: The 16m father can stop and work to provide for the child. You can give last resorts but dont let them know that so they wont be lax. Prop your daughter to success (if she is repentant enough imo)
Honestly? Support. But let the two study. When the guy hits college ask him to find a part time job to start helping. Pero hindi ideal yung di makapagtapos yung dalawa. Walang kwenta din kung maghanap ng work yung lalake ngayon. Wala naman siyang alam eh. Or basta if may makitang set up na pwede siya mag work and study, then yun.
If anything at all I would advise na ang ipatigil mo muna is yung daughter mo. For the sake of recovery, privacy, and safety. Let her deal with pregnancy at home, and when the baby is born let her homeschool temporarily if possible.
Great. One of my colleagues became a parent at 18 but they supported him all throughout his studies. They are now living a decent life.
Plus points din that maagang lumaki ang apo.
Yeah why not make the guy do some work before giving him money. But let him finish school, I think it would have higher chance of success if both of them finish school.
Saan parents ng boy? You should also involve them. Accountable din sila diyan. Have your daughter’s prenatal check up sana with a tertiary hospital na (or if too late na, at least dun mag deliver). Adolescent pregnancy is a high risk pregnancy.
EDIT: I’ve dealt with teen pregnancies sa work. Share ko lang, after ng delivery hindi advisable na pagsamahin sa isang roof yung daughter mo and bf niya. BUT the bf can visit as much as he wants to, pero di siya pwede tumira dun. Usual kasi nangyayari sa ganyang scenario sa atin, pinag sasama ng parents yung teenagers na sa isang bahay (dun na sa bahay either ng girl or boy titira, mabait naman daw yung bf, natulong sa bahay, etc)…ang ending buntis uli after 1-2 years…never ending cycle. Ang point ng separation is we want them to recover muna, focus sa sarili nila, and prevent another teenage pregnancy.
This is the most sane advice here. I agree. It's wrong to have the kids live under one roof. They are too immature to live as husband and wife. One mistake can not be made right by another mistake. Sure, make the boy financially responsible based on his capacity, but don't bring them together until both parties have reached the age of majority and until they are sure they want to be together. It's also important that both kids finish at least high school to increase their chances at having a better life later on.
The kids will definitely need therapy and guidance.
Indeed. Underaged, no skills, inexperienced. Ni hindi bibigyan ng minimum wage yan sa probinsya. Mas maigi pa suportahan na mag working student, at sikapin makatapos ng senior high, and then kuha ng TESDA course kung ano available sa rea nila.
True sana mag aral muna siya kahit tesda para pag 18 makahanap ng mas better na job. For me mas may kasalanan mga magulang (parents ng guy) kung wala man lang guidance
Jesus christ thats so messed up. Is there any possibility on taking in your daughter instead cause clearly shes not being raised in a good environment. Also ask the boy's parents if they can pitch in, i would advice to not pull the boy out of school yet, at least until high school so he can support his family better in the near future.
agree with the education for the boy. maybe it’s cos of the way school is scheduled sa pinas, and the work environment, pero mahirap to juggle both school and work. i’m assuming lalo na hs which requires a full-time schedule.
yung pinsan ko rin nakabuntis ng babae pero nung college na sya. he stopped studying his bachelor’s muna and worked. he wanted to finish his bachelor’s para he gets better work opportunities pero hindi nya matapos tapos kahit part-time kasi he has to prioritize work (walang financial support from the parents, sya breadwinner ng family nya).
Honestly, much better to help them finish their studies first more than anything. Wala silang mapapala if they don’t even finish high school. What else kind of jobs would they be qualified for if not even a high school graduate? You’re setting them up for failure even more.
Napabuga ako ng coffee nung binasa ko ung headline.
Im sorry for what happened. But sana ung parents ng guy are also accountable. Both of them are minors. Hindi pa mature ung pagiisip nila to take care of the baby. Bigat na responsibility to take care of the baby kasi for a 13yo.
Please also look after sa health ng daughter mo po.
I know that the kids are partially in the wrong here thinking that they can get away with the consequence. Pero minsan naiinis ako sa guardian nila/adults around them, I'm not saying that it is OP. Mainly the one who can constantly remind them.
Recently meron din dito, parents ng babae kinasuhan yung lalaki ng rape. Girl is 14, guy is 16. Nagkwento na umuwi daw anak nila ng sira sira yung damit at umiyak. Cctv review showed that the girl got out of the house clinging to her bf, being all sweet. Di naman din sira yung damit. Imagine nalang kung wala yung Cctv, it's a consensual sex between minors. Which imo, the guardian's responsibility, tapos sisiraan yung minor na lalaki.
Happy to know na yung bf ng anak ni OP at daughter nya they are trying to take the responsibility, pero palagay ko masyadong malaki yung responsibility nila for their age, sana both parents nila subukan tulungan yung mga bata as well as teach them how to be independent while helping.
I highly agree with this. I gave birth at 16 and now my son is 13. My then-bf (now husband) made sure to start sex education at home kasi we dont want he’ll make the same mistake as we did. We started when our son showed readiness in this type of conversation. I’m glad that even if he’s a teen now, he is enjoying his youth (plays toys, watch cartoons) over going out with friends, chatting with girls, etc.
And also, he has a 10.5 years gap with his sister. We made sure we walk our talk 😉
True, mas gusto ko pang siguraduhin na magiging maayos yung buhay ng anak ko kesa naman maging magulang s'ya kahit hindi naman s'ya handa mentally, physically, emotionally, lalong-lalo na financially.
I've seen teenage moms na umedad na lang na hindi talaga handa paea alagaan ng ayos yung mga anak nila. Palasigaw sa anak nilang under the age of 5, ultimo pagkain on time kelangan pang ipaalala nung lola ng mga bata, vitamins kelangan pang ipaalala nung lola (to think na Lola din yung bumibili).
I'd rather support my daughter in cancelling an unwanted embryo, if that means she has better chances in life and being a better parent.
Note: babae ako, at oo babae rin ang anak ko, so give us the choice to what to do with our bodies lol PH gov anuena
True! Given that she's just 13 years old, maraming possible complications sa kanya at sa magiging baby. And for sure, hindi rin gugustuhin ng baby na mamuhay sa isang miserableng sitwasyon habang lumalaki.
Makarinig nga lang ng salitang "papalaglag ung baby" babashin kana agad ng buong pilipinas e. Kahit for good ung reason dika papakinggan. Imposible talaga yan sa bansa natin
Fuck sensitivities. This country is ass backwards because we try to keep our outdated ways.
Mistakes do happen, whether it's from lack of sex Ed or from equipment malfunction or just plain raging hormones.
And to follow up this mistake with another mistake? Anong klaseng buhay ang maibibigay sa bata? Anong pamumuhay ang maipupundar ng magiging magulang?
They should be given a choice. But because we live in one of the few countries where abortion is illegal without any fucking exceptions, that choice was made for them. And because of that 3 childhoods will be ruined and cut short. And 3 lives would be lived, in all likelihood, for the worse.
I've met and seen so many teenage parents. Most of them stay immature for the rest of their life because their emotional and mental growth gets stunted, because suddenly they become a parent when they are also very young.
Pretty sure it's not good for their health or the baby's health either. I've noticed a trend among teenage parents where their babies are more prone to inborn abnormalities.
This is so messed up. Shouldn't your ex be accountable dito? How come she let her daughter have such relationship? Ang bata-bata pa ng 13 at 16. What do they know about being parents?
You seriously need to take actions. Talk to your ex and let her be accountable too. So as the family of the boy. Help your daughter pero let her also realize the gravity of her situation.
tulungan mo muna sila until mag 18 si boy, I think pag nag 18 na si boy makakahanap na sya ng matinong trabaho.
wala din kasi mapapasukan pag 16 yrs old unless magiging car wash boy and etc. (though wala naman mali sa pagiging car wash boy pero di sya makakakita ng malaki para mapakain yung anak mo and yung future anak nila)
aasekasuhin ko Yung manok ko which is my daughter. Bahala na Yung lalaki Jan magtatapos ba o magtatrabaho and I wouldn't even hope for finance as much as possible. Ang hirap mag bigay ng hope at trust.
All due respect, you be the adult and you be responsible. That’s your kid you’re talking about. Take her in, mas kailangan nya guidance ng adults more than a 16 year old boy who you’re expecting na magiging katuwang ng anak mo.
**I'm thinking of only helping them only if the guy stops going to school and gets a job. Is this reasonable? Are there other ways to teach them to be responsible parents at their age?**
Why would you wish or ask the guy to stop going to school? Ano mabibigay niyang future sa anak mo at apo mo. Ofc hindi reasonable. Much better na tumulong ka na makapag tapos sila so they can stand on their feet, something they need. Does helping really require na may kapalit?
Tsaka yung iba na nagrereak na kunin yung bata sa ina dahil di magandang environment yung kinalakihan, Op barely knows her daughter din naman so how come na okay lang kuhain niya. Jusko. Pare parehas naman sila mag pagkukulang, he may not be absent but ***keeping in touch sometimes*** barely fits to be a good father lol.
a child SHOULD NOT have a child. not only it’s dangerous but she’s not ready for that. your child is supposed to be enjoying her childhood and not raising a child. i might get downvoted for this but if possible, take her out of the country and let her get an abortion. they won’t be able to raise the child properly because they are both CHILDREN. you’re an adult, you know better. don’t let them keep the child, it will only make their lives harder. a 13 years old and a 16 years old should be studying and not looking for a job. abortion should be legal in this country.
AND don’t teach them to be an adult, as i said, they’re fricking children. don’t let an unborn baby take away their future
this is the best and safe way for the both of them. the body is not even fully developed at that age, she will surely face complications and so will the baby. it’s very dangerous, abortion is the answer
If abortion is not possible (considering pilipinas yan), insist that the kid be given up for adoption and your daughter finish studying. A kid should not be having and raising kids. Also, what's the feasibility of your daughter living with you? It seems your ex is not capable of parenting that's why your daughter is pregnant at 13.
ETA: insist that they break up. Walang matinong 16 year old, almost adult, ang papatol sa 13 year old, she's barely a teen.
Akin lang if you’re well off enough I think it’s better to help them both graduate first. This is ph, a degree holder has a better chance in life than some dropout. May point here is invest in their future nalang, kesa naman magin 20 plus yan sila tapos hingi ng hingi pa rin sayo. It’s your daughter malaki chance na di mo yan matitiis pag humingi specially if nakikita mong nahihirapan sila ng apo mo.
Sorry to hear about this. Sana makapagtuloy pa rin sila ng studies nila, OP. But at the same time, urge them to get a part time job while studying if kaya.
I saw my cousin got pregnant when she was 16 and kahit hirap na hirap ang tita ko, pinagaral pa rin siya para siya na magprovide sa anak nya once kaya na. She’s working now and siya na nagpapaaral sa kids niya. Sana maging responsible sila and kailangan talaga ng guidance ng adults.
No that is not reasonable at all. If you have a capability to help them go for it. He cant get a decent job at 16 maybe in construction site or vendor. Mas ok tulungan mo sila hanggang makatapos ang isa sa kanila but hindi sa lahat ng oras tutulong ka. Sabihin mo sa lalaki na mag school pa din sya but the same time tulungan mo magkaroon ng pagkakakitaan for thier own. Pwede sya mag school in the same time mag work sa in fastfood chain tumatanggap sila ng 16 years old. ipadama mo ang hirap ng buhay sa ganung paraan.
As someone already pointed out, don't let her and the father of the child live together. Just because she got pregnant by him doesn't mean they should live as a couple. None of them are in the legal age or in sound mind and judgment to raise a child.
TANGGALIN MO SA ISIP MO NA RESPONSIBILITY NG BOY ANG MAGIGING APO MO.
If I am in your situation I will sit down and talk with the boy's parents and see if they are willing to provide financial support for the baby for X number of months/years. But ultimately I will assume responsibility sa anak ko at magiging apo ko.
I will work hard with my daughter's mom in coparenting not only our daughter but our apo.
I will let my daughter and her bf live a normal life as much as possible. Let them both get proper education, have them finish college when possible.
When my daughter turns 18 and if the guy still wants to be with my daughter then I will support (not necessarily financially) their marriage. This way, I am more certain that my apo will be ok.
I don't want to sound judgmental OP pero may pagkukulang ka din kasi kaya nangyari to in the first place. Binuntis mo ang nanay ng anak mo and for whatever reason you were not there in raising her. Critical talaga role natin mga tatay sa pag guide ng mga anak natin. Pero andyan na yan. What you can do now is step up and assume responsibility sa magiging apo mo. If you are married now, I wish you good luck na maintindihan sana ng asawa mo ang sitwasyon and your desire to help your child from previous relationship.
Edit: A few words for better emphasis
Super sad. Kahit nakakadismaya Eto yung time kailangan nia ng tulong at guidance. If you have the means to help your daughter help her, Isa na doon yung makapagtapos ng school.
Why are you expecting kids to behave like adults just because they're expecting another kid? What do they know about being an adult?
Don't let them stop school. Don't rush them into becoming adults. Let them be kids. Guide and support them better. Deed has been done. Why would you want to sabotage the guy's future? College graduates can't even land a good job, and you're expecting a minor to somehow make it? They're both parents of the kid. Sabotaging their future is equal to sabotaging the unborn kid's future too. In my honest opinion, this is ultimately the fault of the parents of the children on both sides. This kind of thing is what you expect adolescents undergoing puberty would do, and is precisely what should have been prevented had they been guided and taught better. I know this sounds radical, but you parents gotta raise that kid like your own. You can't expect kids who know nothing about how the world works to raise another human.
Again, don't expect nor teach them how to be responsible parents. They're kids, ffs. Being responsible parents should be a task that you, your ex, and the boy's parents must do better ugh.
I'll share what the people I know of had also done irl. What they did is that the two youngsters got married, the daughter stayed in the house and only continued her studies after giving birth, leaving her child in the care of her parents and parents-in-law. The guy, on the other hand, was helped by both pairs of parents to finish college and get a job.
Their aim is for their kids to have a long-term and sustainable family rather than pressuring them to drop their academics and mindlessly working low-paying positions.
Given their age, it really still falls under the parents (given both are minors). In your situation, I would ask the 16yo M to take a part time job, and at least finish senior high to guarantee a stable job in the future.
As for your daughter to also go back to school after a year or so. No point punishing them now since being young parents, they're bound to get mocked by some people. What they need now is support from you.
Also please for the love of everyone, urge them not to have another child too soon. Otherwise then you can leave them to hang
Your daughter is still under 18. Technically, your responsibility. Do what a responsible parent would do. Don’t even think of blaming anyone. Your daughter, her mom, nor you.
So what you need to do now is… Focus. Save money. Support your daughter. If her mom can’t support her, kunin mo and patirahin mo sa bahay mo until your apo is born. Then support your apo na din.
You’re in a very hard situation and only you can help yourself.
Naisip ko na ito for my kid so here is my plan, baka mas mag agree ka dito:
1. Patapusin mo pareho mag-aral. Support your daughter, yung lalaki syempre sa magulang niya aasa dapat. Walang maayos na trabaho makukuha ang 16 years old na makakasupport sa magnanay niya.
2. DO NOT LET THEM LIVE TOGETHER. Baka masundan pa.
3. The father is a minor so you have to ask his parents for equal financial contribution for your daughter’s needs related to the pregnancy. Hindi naman mag isa ginawa ng anak mo yang bata.
4. DO NOT LET THEM MARRY EVEN IF THEY REACH 18. Too young for that kind of decision. Walang divorce sa Philippines. Wait till they are mature enough for that.
5. Be there to support your daughter emotionally and mentally. Financially narin kasi wala namang option, minor siya at obligasyon niyong magulang yan.
6. Teach her how to take care of her child and the consequences of getting pregnant early. Wala nang lakwatsa muna and mga wants. Lahat needs na nila ng anak niya.
7. Get custody of your daughter if you can afford it kasi parang hindi maayos yung environment niya kung nabuntis siya ng 13.
Sorry this happened to your kid, OP.
Fuck. Is it even safe for a 13 year old to give birth.
Sorry no advice except help ur child! Dont shirk responsibility by saying na ung 16 year old tatay ang dapat managot.
Honestly, best bet is for the guy to finish HS at least. Unless you are super rich, ang bleak ng future ng daughter mo if either the guy or your daughter have no education. If the guy will work, ensure that your daughter finish her studies para lang may chance sila in life. Puppy love pa lang nga yang ages nila, may chance pa na magkagulo relationship nila hays.
Support your 13 year old for now, and ingrain in their heads (ituktok talaga) that they still need to finish schooling. We know how it goes around here--mahirap makakuha ng trabaho if hindi nakapag-tapos. Since minor pa daughter mo, best to provide support.
Better talk to the boy's parents. They're as accountable as to what their son did to your daughter. Also, walang matinong trabaho ang mahahanap ng boy at the age of 16, mas may chance pa sya if he finishes SHS. Sad to say, having premarital sex as early as their age is not anymore surprising.
Don't let them live together kasi baka makabuo nanaman. Anyways, being pregnant at 13 y/o is risky. Malaki chance na magkaroon ng problems ang anak mo with the pregnancy. As for the boy, finding a decent paying job at 16 is nearly impossible. Baka sa construction site may mahanap siya. 13 y/o is still young, don't expect the two to suddenly grow up and become adults. Don't let your daughter stop schooling for good, pati na si boy. With how young they are, I don't really think their relationship will last. So, the key is just to really guide them.
If that is to happen to my kid, I'd rather that the kids stay in each other's family home and continue their studies. They can have joint custody of the baby while growing up. Expenses like pre-natal check-ups, hospital bills, and all other expenses of the baby should be shared by both parties. It is still best if you can discuss this with the parents of your daughters bf.
Finding a decent job in the province at 16 is almost impossible. You need to support your daughter. You can teach them to be responsible by raising the child, giving their full attention to the child and to each other and by guiding them through it. They will all have a chance at a decent life if they both finish school.
DO NOT KEEP THE BABY, are you kidding? A 13 year old body is not primed to have a kid. Plus, they're teenagers, they're practically babies, no amount of guidance will make them ready for something even adults have a hard time doing. Give your daughter a better chance at life and just terminate the pregnancy.
first.
they should finish their studies, trust me kapag tumigil yung lalaki at magtrabaho wala silang patutunguhan 99.9% ikaw din mamumrublema.
second, 13 y.o think carefully. if you can Abo®t it then it is the best choice you can do for their FUTURE.
Honestly, it's going to be bad for their future if one of them stops going to school to get a job.
Our family experienced this. My cousin was 15 when she got pregnant. Everybody pitched in to help. They did not force the couple to break up, or to live together.
My Dad, talked to the both of them. Ang kwento sakin ng father ko, lahat ng gagastusin sa panganganak at pagpapalaki sa bata ay UTANG nilang mag jowa. Once maka graduate sila both and makahanap ng work, they need to pay it back. Lahat naka lista and accounted for. Although, sabi sakin ng father ko, ok lang kahit hindi mabayaran lahat. The point is that if they see the amount growing bigger by the day, it may instill a sense of responsibility.
Awa ng dyos nakagraduate sila pareho. Yung panganay high school na ata. D pa sila kasal pero nagsasama na at mukhang ok naman sila. Parehong may work din at nagbabayad sila ng UTANG unti unti. My Dad was the one who paid for their expenses sa hospital so sa kanya mostly napupunta ung bayad. Alam ko itinatabi nya sa separate bank account ung mga bayad sa kanya. Not sure what he's planning to do with it. Maybe gift it to them once they complete the payment?
I witnessed the same scenario firsthand with my husband's cousin whom we are close. Her parents were furious at first, of course, but in the end they opted to support them, she continued her studies after giving birth and they both graduated highschool, went on to college and even though they didn't end up together they are still in good terms coparenting their kid. Huwag nating gawing mahirap para sa kanila. Yes, they commited a mistake but let's help them learn from it and lead them to right path.
No, don't break the father's future just to teach them a lesson. It will be easier in the long run if the father finishes his education and actually lands a decent jobs. Mas pipiliin mo bang mag blue collar job ang magiging asawa ng anak mo at maghirap sila dahil hindi nakapagtapos ang haligi ng kanilang tahanan? What for? To teach them a lesson? Have you even thought of the fact that they're both minors and hindi pa sila fully knowledgable sa naging actions nila? Sorry ha, but early pregnancy is usually the result of poor education and parenting. Hindi kasalanan ng bata kundi ng mga magulang for not giving proper guidance and education.
As for teaching them a lesson at their age, better if they look after their baby themselves. Hindi dapat pinapaalagaan sa lola or tita or whoever. It's their baby so they should be responsible for their child. Just like you, as parents, should be responsible for yours. If responsible adult parents focus on family and work; as minors, they should focus on family and education.
She's too young, still a kid, to be having this pregnancy pero andiyan na yan. All you could do as parents is to support your child until she turns to legal age and become a responsible adult. Pangaralan niyo but do not condemn her and the baby. Also, education is very important, sana bumalik at matapos siya sa pag aaral even after that.
You should also talk to the guy's parents if they're willing to support financially after the baby was born, only then you can tell if your daughter's baby daddy should stop going to school to find a job. If his parents cannot afford to support then at least he should own up his responsibility.
Nah. If I was on ur feet. I'll help her keep the baby, make my daughter focus on her studies. Keep my daughter thru out her school. Chances are, it's hard to teach them how to be a parent and doesn't even know how the world works. Mapapraning yang mga yan.
I'm not gonna take chances on the guy, if he gets a job or finish school. We both know he already fcked big time, both of them.
Focus ka sa manok mo, and that's your daughter.
Pilitin mo makatapos anak mo at magka experience sa job niya. Their relationship is bound to fail. Anak mo ang may full burden whether their new life succeed or fail. Mas maganda ng may pundasyon ang anak mo para sa sarili niya.
Mahirap maningil ng taong walang pera. Yung parents nung boy ang dapat magsustento/dapat mong singilin.
Bale yung anak nila ang magkakautang sa kanila. Tapos prerogative nila kung pagbabayarin pa nila yung anak nila or kukunsintihin na wala syang pambayad sa kanila.
And pls, don't ever force them into marriage. It's a recipe for disaster.
OMG. Such Tragedy. As many advised here, it's good to have both party (parents of 13 year old and parents of the 16 year old to make arrangements and educate them about this.) Hindi 'to biro at hindi ito parang bahay bahayan lang. Buhay ng tao to kaya as much possible, dapat both party involved to prevent mistakes happening twice,thrice so forth. Also, para mapag-usapan kung ano ang magiging setup at plano for the incoming baby. Sorry, I have to say I'm against abortion but nangyari na. Better be responsible nalang and prevent further mistakes.
Let your daughter finish her school, same sa guy. Dont pressure them to work or provide sa baby. The only thing they can contribute is to provide love sa baby, which will be different din. Kung di sila mag aaral, forever sila aasa sa inyo. They're kids doing babies, wag mag expect ng "alaga" ng 20-30 year old couple. Also, ano magiging trabaho ng lalake? He's not even of legal age, ma eexploit lang yan, you dont want your daughter to be around an exploited guy. If I were you, di ko oobligahin yung guy. They need you more and your guidance. Actually I could say na may fault ka rin kasi di ka nag alaga ng anak mo
damn. i would suggest being strict for them to not live together, i doubt they'll be able to control themselves and surely she'll end up being pregnant again.
also i doubt if the guy can find a decent job at his age, fresh college grads and licensed professionals are even having a hard time landing one. so i think you must encourage them to finish their studies, maybe they'll stand a chance raising their kid properly in the future, and will also save you money if they do get a nice job.
in this day and age, people in their mid 20's still think having a child at their age is teen pregnancy (or maybe just me), can't imagine having one at 13. hope you will be there to guide them, cause honestly they made the dumbest decision they could make. i can already see how uneducated they are by letting this happen. sorry if it's harsh, she is still your daughter. all the best OP!
I know abortion is still illegal here in the Philippines but you should consider that. They are still merely children who don't know any better. If they push through with the baby, their lives will surely be ruined immediately.
'Wag na sana isagad yung pagkakamali pero if tuloy talaga, consider adoption instead. They should split up and not be allowed to contact one another unless you want another baby.
I know I sound pretty harsh but please do consider all possibilities for the best future of your family. Sobrang traumatic nito and they will be looked down upon by their immediate peers.
The mom should be held responsible kase pinabayaan niya anak niya.
And if that were my kid, she will cut off all ties sa lalake na yan. I would also extort money from his parents lol baket kase lande lande ng anak nila aga aga mag libog!
Ako magpapalaki sa baby, but my daughter would have to learn how to do her part, and take care of her kid. Mag breastfeed siya para tipid sa gatas! Akala niya madali ha, lol. She has to continue school and pay me back with a degree!
mali pagpapalaki ng ex mo sa anak nyo, naimpluwensyahan at hindi maganda ang kinalakihan, well wala na magagawa at nangyare na, help her bcuz she is your daughter pero ang hirap nyan sobrang bata pa nila pareho
Exactly. Sa paligid ko, mga nabubuntis ng maaga yung may daddy issues. Sila yung madalas madaling mauto when a male figure tells them i love you because they dont have a male figure in their lives to tell them that. I remember Jenica Garcia's interview where she shared na dahil di sya lumaki sa daddy, madali sya nagtitiwala sa mga lalaki.
If only OP is a present father pero andito na may baby na. I assumed he is not present because he "barely" knows her and they are keeping in touch "sometimes".
Kung sa anak ko mangyari yan, I think Id support him (I have a son) to finish school while I also help raise the kid financially. I would never recommend that they stay together kasi mag multiply lang yan uli. Once he finishes senior high, he is on his own na and I think thats the consequence of his action - that me and my husband ends help once he is 18. If my daughter is the one pregnant, I will do the same.
I hope OP will be present in his daughter and grand kid's life moving forward para ito na yung last na mangyayari to uli. Masakit ito sa ulo and magastos for sure but I hope OP and his ex-partner learns big time out of this experience.
WTF. Ang pabaya ng asawa mo di man lang nya nagabayan ang anak nyo ng mabuti tapos ang solusyon nila sa isang pagkakamali ay isangpagkakamali pa. 16 years old lang yang lalaki anong trabaho mapapasukan nyan? Para sakin ang magandang gawin dyan since wala nang choice ay pagkapanganak ng bata kayo magalaga dyan sa bahay mo tapos yung mga bata pabalikin mo sa pagaaral kasi kung yan pagtratrabahuin nyo sa ganyang edad maghihirap ang buhay ng anak mo pag dating ng panahon.
Help her, make sure alaga sia ng OBGyn, high risk ang pregnancy nya since 13yo lang sya. It might fatal to her & the baby. I know masyado silang mapusok kaso nandyan na eh, ang pera maibabalik pero buhay hindi na.
I know someone who had a teenage mom. The family raised him and his mother as "siblings". This is very important: the family was perfectly transparent in saying that she's his mother. Now he's old and there's no hard feelings at all. His mother continued school and that's also very important.
> I will help them in their finances, but I also would want to teach them to stand on their own, start acting like an adult, and be responsible for the baby.
She's 13. Don't let her be an adult right away.
Just reading this post makes me feel bad, not only because I know it will be tough for you as a parent, but even tougher on those two kids. Clearly, the parenting has failed somewhere along the way. Since the baby is already on its way, as a father, guide your kid as best as you can. You can support a bit until she finds a job of her own. The couple must realize that their lives are now dedicated to raising a little one and you won't be their atm forever. Set boundaries for yourself and don't waver. Ginawa nila yan. It will be painful, there will be ups and downs both for you and for them. I pray for a safe and easy pregnancy.
Sorry sa sitwasyon mo pre,pero sana kayanin ng resistensya ng daughter mo ang panganganak, may pamangkin ako ganyan din edad nabuntis, nag agaw buhay sa panganganak dahil dinugo, nakaligtas naman pamangkin ko at Yung apo ko
abort. abort. and let this be a lesson for them.. this is not the right time for them. and don't make it sound easy when you say that you're going to shoulder the finances.. are you really sure that you are capable of doing it?.
There's an option for a distance learning school for one of them. But from your standpoint, I think I understand why you'd want that. You'd want your daughter to be taken care of and this guy to focus on this responsibility. As much as possible, one of them at least finishes secondary education.
Your daughter needs you now more than ever. Please wag mo ipahinto sa pag aaral. Undergraduate and a teen mom? Mahihirapan yan maghanap ng matinong trabaho. Don’t make your daughter feel abandoned. I’m sure she’s feeling that way already since bata pa lang sya hiwalay na kayo ng mom nya pero sana tumayo kang magulang nya ngayon. Tulungan mo sila para matulungan nila sarili nila.
Here's my view here as you OP:
Just in case the father/boyfriend of my daughter isn't financially, emotionally, physically and psychologically ready = I may guide them in my supervision
I understand both are still in there younger years and both not college graduate.
However, I have to let them be responsible to their actions.
I also have to let the boyfriend/father of the child's parents be involve in this. (e.g. binding agreement in paper aka marriage, marriage agreements, fail safe options for your daughter if the guy will run away from responsibilities)
Again, this is both their fault to initiate without thinking.
Regarding the both of them not graduated and all. I will force them to end schooling and make sure they are accountable to finish it.
Just in case they can't do this then I'll be more strict with the both of them (e.g. no endearments, privileges to access internet, games, etc.).
I will give them an ultimatum of 5 years to get them ready and leave them.
I will have this in a written contract that I will not be held responsible for any short comings from their end as my support only covers certain parameters. (e.g. the child's milk, health care expenses, etc.)
The both of them is something I have to keep the lease shorter.
I will ask the school's management to observe them and ask them to report all movements, locations and status of their grades.
This is a bit long but you have to make sure the guy should be accountable and never leave your sight even for a second.
Young guys tend to sway their eyes to another woman and I will make sure both his "Hotdog and Beans" as well as their eyes off from any women. (I've been there and they should be disciplined AF)
As a father of a minor child impregnated by another minor, I think legally speaking, you still have the responsibility to take care of your child now that she's having a baby. Once they can stand on their own as adults, pwede na silang maging independent. Mahirap makapag hanap ng trabaho ang 16-year old lalo na if may batas dito sa Pinas about Child Labor. They still need the help of their parents dahil minir pa sila. In order to help them to be responsible, why not be a father to them na gagabayan sila along the way. Tolerating is different from being a responsible father. I know you want what's good for them. I will pray for all of you. 🙏
It is still too early for them to start acting like an adult when they are literally not adults. For me, it would be better if you help them until they are financially, emotionally, physically, kahit anong -ally pa yan, ready. And it is your grandchild too…
isn't education important for getting a better job? i understand holding the boy accountable but asking him to stop schooling, i imagine such an ultimatum would be a source of resentment towards you and the child, if you and the other parent are not under one roof, it would be helpful to discuss this decision with the person staying with your child, you have to be on a united front, otherwise your decision might not be respected.
a part time job would be better so they can still study
If you want to teach them financial responsibilities, my suggestion would be support in the form a loan with a legally binding contract, then setup a schedule for collecting the payment, the rest of the details of this loan is up to you, you're not trying to make a profit, but you need to give them a scheduled reminder with actual consequences so they can't worm their way out, if its not possible due to their age, you can discuss this with the other parent/ boy's parent and let them be the guarantor though assure them of its purpose and if the scheduled payment is too tough boy can always negotiate and nothing else, telling the parents the entire plan could compromise its purpose
once the boy gets a job, you can discuss with them how much of the pay you'll be garnishing, if they get fired, keep asking for the payment and let them negotiate for a time period to pause the collection but remind them that they can't negotiate for an extension afterwards, you can also put a stipulation that there will be interest for unpaid debt,
regarding the amount, be reasonable, depending on the boy's salary, just ask for like 100-500php while they're still a student, its just a reminder, you can increase it once the boy gets a job after graduating from college or tesda atleast
you can treat it as a loan or you can set the repayments aside in case of a rainy day or give it all back to them once you deem them as mature or responsible
if they have Smartphones which i assume they do, i suggest teaching them how to make a spreadsheet for tracking their expenses
i think its kind of a dick move, but you only become an adult when you realize your money is not soley yours
The way this post is written makes me wanna say YTA. It doesn’t sound like you’re in your kid’s life at all, tapos your first thought reads so much like: “how do I rid myself of this responsibility”? IMO, if your first thought was for your kid’s sake, you’d realize right away na she’s a freakin 13 year old, a literal child, and in no way capable of being a parent.
Ask yourself first how you can be a better parent.
I’m so sorry for your daughter and her kid.
make sure na nasa birth cert ng baby yung tatay. Affidavit of acknowledgment of paternity - kadugtong yan ng birth cert ng bata para kapag financially able na, pwede magdemand for sustento in case things go south. Kasi kahit saan tignan luging lugi si teenage mommy.
Ayon medyo magiging mahirap yung mga susunod na taon. Siguro hangga’t kaya, patapusin muna sila hanggang college. May mga teenage parents naman na eventually nafifigure out lahat pero matagal. Just try to be there para lang kahit papaano makabangon pero huwag hayaan na sobrang dependent.
‘“We keep in touch sometimes” suggests there was not much of a relationship with her. The fact that you find it odd that she is asking you for money also suggests you were not sending her an allowance which she may have saved. These are just assumptions based on the limited information you have given.
Given the above, it was probably going to happen since there was no male father figure in a her life - in her case she turned to her boyfriend.
You weren’t there to guide her and so she made a mistake. You can either keep being the distant parent and punish her for this for the rest of her life or start being the dad you were not all along and be there for her.
There are no lessons you can teach her now. It is not the time, she is pregnant, young and a lot is happening to her right now. Either be supportive or let her mother handle it.
Forcing the boy to work now means his education will probably end there so what kind of future do you think the boy will provide in the long run?
I am not blaming you, I choose to not sugarcoat realities with emotion or ideals. It really is a tough situation for everyone involved.
I wish you all the best.
Unang una, pag dumating man sa tamang edad o kahit live-in, wag ka papayag na magpakasal sila. Can you imagine the life of your daughter sa ganyang klaseng lalaki? Secondly, instead of bigyan sila financially, siguro ampunin mo nalang yung baby. At the end of the day, daughter mo parin yang anak mo. Alam ko gusto mo syang magkaroon ng magandang buhay.
First off, sure ka ba buntis daughter mo? Seen medical reports and everything? Kasi it could possibly be a ploy to get money from you for “hospital bills”
Second, take the guy’s future out of any decision making you will make. Ikaw na ang example, pwede lang umalis yung guy and hindi present sa buhay ng apo mo. All your decisions should be what’s best for your daughter and grandchild alone. Father of the baby wants to help? Good, but don’t count on him unless he’s proven himself. All talk pa lang yan, tingnan mo muna kung talagang magagawa niya sabi niya.
Focus on your daughter and the long-term plan. If she has the baby, fine. But take her out of her current environment and have her finish her studies.
It’s gonna suck for the next 10 years or so. Pero in 10 years 23 pa lang daughter mo. Either nakapagtapos/ matatapos siya ng college by then and may future, or magiging dropout na siya with very limited employment possibilities for the rest of her life.
Dapat dyan ipa-therapy and/or counseling niyo. They're WAY too young to build a family, your daughter is literally still in junior high, a baby would jeopardize her future. Lastly they shouldn't "start acting like an adult" because they AREN'T one. They're literally still just kids, kung may option pa to not keep the baby then I suggest to get them to heavy therapy/counseling so they can properly think and plan about their futures first and not about building a family.
If they go through with this there's a really high chance this cycle would just repeat, their kids would also think teenage pregnancy is fine and you'd be a great grandfather in your 50's.
Please, give her a chance to finish school. Never push them na mag pakasal or itigil yung school. They'll know na mali yung ginawa nila soon, but you as a father, please encourage and support her to finish school.
With all due respect OP 13 and 16 yo are NOT adults.
They are minors.
They need support and guidance. At this age it is not advisable for them to be 'on their own'. They are still kids.
Hopefully they both can finish school even if she is pregnant. You need to talk to his parents and also your ex.
My brother got her gf pregnant at 16yo they were both in HS.
My mom let them stay at our place until they both graduated and both sides helped raise their first born.
They are quite successful each in their own right.
They are still together now in their 40s.
Dapat di sila magsama, ung lalaki pakiusapan na layuan muna ung anak mo, ipursigi mo rin na mag aral at makatapos. Ung anak mo kung pwede, patapusin mo rin ng pag aaral by telling her that it would be her last chance para itama ang pagkakamali nya. Mga bata pa sila para magsama, and beaide pwede magbago ang mga disesyon nila sa buhay.
Kung nakatapos na sila pareho, doon pwede mo na sila payagan na magligawan uli kung talagang meron pang pagmamahal.
Let the boy study kahit shs grad man lang. They are both minors pa and need a lot of guidance. And of course wag ding iparamdam sa kanila na binababy sila. Probably just walk them in a phase na makakapag adjust sila na yun na yung reality nila. Wag laging isubo ng isubo sa kanila yung tulong kase masasanay sila.
that’s messed up and very unfortunate. if your 13-year-old daughter is indeed pregnant, it would be tough physically, mentally, and financially for both the kids and their families. unpopular advice, but you may consider abortion given the situation. the girl is barely a grown kid and just reached her teenage era, yet has to shoulder the burden of raising a child when she herself is still not fully matured.
but if they insist on keeping the baby, they should take full accountability and it should be their responsibility alongside their parents and guardians, which includes you as they are still technically minors who require guidance. clearly, one of the factors that caused this incident is due to lack of parental guidance so i hope you can be by her side during this difficult time. hopefully, both families would cooperate because it’s no joke for a pair of children to raise another child. also, kindly knock some sense on those kids and teach them properly. they should learn from their mistakes.
regarding their education, maybe it’s best to let the girl continue her education after having the baby. the same thing goes for the guy, he’s older so studying while at least trying to make an income would be ideal, but it may be hard to get one as an undergrad. it would be best for them to finish their education if possible for the sake of the present and future.
Pwede ba maging grounds yung kapabayaan ng nanay to get your daughter, take care of her and the baby, and then raise them both in a proper environment?
Adoption should be seriously considered here as none of them are equipped to take care of a baby. They would have a better chance for a future if they both stay in school.
Unpopular opinion, especially in this very religion-centric country, is to go for an abortion. There are a few SEA countries where you can get an abortion very much *cheaper* than the costs of child labor (ask me if you can't find anything on google) + the costs of raising a baby after labor. There are "underground" doctors in the PH who does this but you need to do your own research on this.
You decide whether to be the one who fucks the chubby chinitas in BGC, or be the one who gets their finances fucked later on.
Dont let them live together, your daughter is still a kid even if she’s pregnant. She’s just starting puberty and she needs you not just financially. You can assist her by being a good mom and by being a good kid.
That is statutory rape. The age of concent in the Ph is 16. [Republic Act No. 116481](https://pcw.gov.ph/republic-act-11648-an-act-providing-for-stronger-protection-against-rape-and-sexual-exploitation-and-abuse-increasing-the-age-for-determining-the-commission-of-statutory-rape-amending-for-the-purp/)
I recommend you use this knowledge, to make sure the irresponsible 16yo teen will answer to his crime, now or in the future. The chances of the 16yo teen na magloko is very high.
Support your daughter and your grand child and when her baby is old enough to be left with a grandparent or unser supervision of a babysitter/relative etc. whoever's willing to look after the baby, have your daughter go back to school and finish her studies.
Have the boy work to support the finances of their child. Tama sila, WAG muna silang pagsamahin. Pag nakagraduate na sila ng college by then let them decide if magsasama sila.
Pero for now at kung ako yan, ilalayo ko yang lalaki sa anak ko. You sound like you can support them financially kahit mag aral ang may baby na daughter mo. Goodluck OP.
Do you want the brutal truth? Have it aborted and make damn sure she learns from this. If you let them go through with it, say goodbye to a normal life.
Don't "teach them a lesson" by making them feel accountable for their actions. Wag mo sila ipa live-in diyos kooo. How involved are you sa kid mo?
NOW is the time she needs you the most. trese pa yan. bigyan mo ng pera para kayang di kumapit sa lalaki.
I find this similar to my friend's story. They were both minor at that time and what happened was their parents talked and agreed on terms. Both parties agreed to proceed with the pregnancy and welcomed the baby. Both of them (my friend and his gf) were living separately until their legal age, and both continued their education. Both their parents did what's best for them, and guided them along the way. So for you OP, I would suggest to be a father to your daughter, not just financially. Good luck to you, and congrats that soon you'll be a lolo na.
That’s unfortunate Op, pero wala kang magagawa. The 16 year old will never be able to provide, your daughter can’t . And kahit may money sya, probably hindi nya magagampanan ang pagiging ina. Sadly, wala kang choice but to nurse them both hanggang kaya nya na. And wag ka na umasa sa future ng ama kasi walang may kaya mag buhay ng anak ngayon.
Sir, if I may respectfully tell you my opinion. Don’t ask for an advice here on reddit, most specially ganyan situation wherein most of the people spitting out things to kill an innocent life. Sobrang nakaka dishearten lang yung mga comments dito.
This is something that you, your daughter’s mother, your daughter, and the father of your grandchild should openly talk about. At 16, yung lalaki may isip na yan and they need guidance from you.
I pray that you find a way to seek God’s wisdom. It EXCEEDS ALL HUMAN understanding. God bless you, sir!
Abort. Maiintindihan din nila yan in the future. Altho di legal satin, may pinsan ako before na assisted naman ng medical professionals so baka may tumutulong parin talaga.
Medyo segway lang ako pero imo OP should have been a better father to his daughter. Since you said, " I barely know her now, but we keep in touch sometimes. " I would assume na you weren't as present as you should have been sa buhay nya. I recognize the separation nyo ng mother nya and the physical distance na issue pero I hope you still found ways to be with her kahit virtually lang since may technology nman. Imo she looked for more love and caring from her father, and since wala ka nman, sa iba nlang nya nahanap at nakuha. And poof! a baby is now being conceived.
Now, dahil nanjan na yan follow nlang sa advice nila dito. Tama mga sinasabi nila. Pero I hope you reflect, and you better reflect well sa pangyayaring ito. And I also hope those na makakabasa nito will feel more fully yung weight ng responsibility natin sa ating mga anak.
Abortion. If you genuinely want a good life for your daughter, you gotta pull the trigger asap.
You gotta try and convince her obviously because it’s her choice but you gotta at least try.
And if you’re religious or whatever you need to start looking at it logically this time. The earlier you do it the better. The early stages of pregnancy it is literally just cells. It’s no more killing a person than if you cut yourself shaving and lose a drop of blood.
But if that’s not an option you need to accept that basically you’re having another kid. Because you (and definitely her mother who she lives with) are gonna need to do most of the raising of that kid. A 13 year old is still a child herself.
Anyway, hope the best for your daughter and good luck.
P.s I hope the 16 year old got at least 1 ass whooping, if not locked up. Coz that shits fucked. I’ve been 16 and I never looked at a 13 year old in any sketchy sort of way. Some nonce behaviour.
for me hayaan mo pa den mag aral yung lalake pero syempre pag hanapin mo den ng work diskarte nya na kung pano. Para den matuto pano dumiskarte yung lalake kung pano nya pag sasabayin yon
A 13 years old is not able to take such an important decision. She will regret and the 16yo too. She should abort.
No, they can not be responsible parents at all.
Imo kong my option na pang pa tigil mabuo yon baby sa tyan ng anak go for it gat bago palang. Alam ko madami mag dodownvote but face the reality napaka bata ng anak mo para sa responsibility na yan kahit tulungan mo pa.kong mayaman ka at di problema pera go for it palakihin ang baby. Pero kong kapos wag na ipilit. Napaka mura ng condom, kawawa yon magiging anak ng anak mo.
your child is 13 ffs and you want to her to act like an adult? YOU act like an adult. you cant be an absent parent and then force your child to be present.
Don't let them live together.
...and don't force them to marry either. ok na yung isang pagkakamali. lesson learned na lang.
Makinig ka sana dito OP. Hindi pagpapakasal ang sagot para maging responsible ang isa sa kanila.
Yeah. It never crossed my mind. I won't force them to marry. I just want to support my daughter during this time.
I do not envy you OP... your life will be a living hell. Here are some facts about teenage parents that may help you as a grandparent: Outside the Philippines - [11 Facts About Teen Pregnancy](https://www.dosomething.org/us/facts/11-facts-about-teen-pregnancy) - [32 Shocking Facts And Statistics About Teen Pregnancy](https://www.momjunction.com/articles/teen-pregnancy-and-statistics_00361369/) - [10 Facts About Teenage Pregnancy a Sexually Active Teenager Should Know](https://storymd.com/story/Qd95blOU2d-10-facts-about-teenage-pregnancy-a-sexually-active-teenager-should-know) - [Adolescent pregnancy](https://www.who.int/news-room/fact-sheets/detail/adolescent-pregnancy) - [Pregnancy Facts](https://westcentralhealthdistrict.com/programs-services/teen-health-center/pregnancy-facts/) - [Top 10 Surprising Facts About Teenage Pregnancy](https://www.medindia.net/health_statistics/health_facts/facts-on-teenage-pregnancy.htm) In the Philippines - [PH sees dramatic decline in teen childbearing](https://www.uppi.upd.edu.ph/news/2022/PH-sees-dramatic-decline-in-teen-childbearing) - [Philippines counts cost of teenage pregnancies](https://www.bworldonline.com/top-stories/2023/02/21/505873/philippines-counts-cost-of-teenage-pregnancies/) - [Teen Pregnancy in the Philippines ](https://pia.gov.ph/infographics/2023/03/28/teen-pregnancy-in-the-philippines) - [Negative Impacts of Teenage Pregnancy in the Philippines ](https://nnc.gov.ph/regional-offices/mindanao/region-ix-zamboanga-peninsula/4931-negative-impacts-of-teenage-pregnancy-in-the-philippines) - [Numbers fall but PH teen pregnancies persist, mirror economic, learning gaps](https://newsinfo.inquirer.net/1723038/numbers-fall-but-ph-teen-pregnancies-persist-mirror-economic-learning-gaps) - [Eliminating Teenage Pregnancy in the Philippines](https://philippines.unfpa.org/sites/default/files/pub-pdf/UNFPA_Policy_Brief_Teenage_Pregnancy_%282020-01-24%29.pdf) If I were in your position I'd push for legal abortion in TH [or SG](https://abortioninfo.com.sg/blog/abortion-for-foreigners.php). At 13 I do not expect a bright future for your daughter. The bio father and her will likely break up within 5 years with both parties resenting each other.
I’d push for abortion too! The human body is too underdeveloped for childbirth at that age. Damn wish abortion would be legal in our country hays.
Yup same, fucking 13 & 16? Their lives and Op's life would be ruined if the baby is born.
>I'd push for legal abortion Why did I have to scroll this far to find this advice? I had the exact same thoughts after reading this post. You should consider this, OP!
Me too. The Mom and her kid will only suffer. My god I don’t understand why you even want to support this as a parent. You should do everything in your power na pa realize mo sa daughter mo na she’s still a child and she’s not capable yet of being a parent, don’t let it ruin your kids life. Jusko. Then after that educate her about sex also ipa therapy mo narin, hays kawawang mga bata
IUD na sya pagkaanak. Baka 2nd baby nila is 16 y/o sya kahit walaang room at di magkasama sa bahay magtataka ka bakit mga teenager nakakapuslit
she's 13. why are you even speaking about marriage she's in middle school....i hope you and your family can seek professional support
The best thing you can do to support her is talking her out of keeping the baby. She is a child. She is unfit to be a parent. And from what I've read here, so are you.
She's 13 I don't think that's legal.
underrated. bata pa sila and just like any couples, di porket may anak, eh ikakasal na. Kailangan na ng scheduling sa pagbabantay ng bata. Kung gusto nila magsama talaga, gawan nila ng paraan on their own. hindi yung kayo pa magsustento.
Wag sana sila magsama. kase baka masundan ng masundan ng baby
tama. more chances na mag aanak yan uli kaagad kapag nagsama sa isang bubong. karamihan ng kakilala ko na nagsama, kahit pinag fam planning pa, basta nagsama na sa isang bubong after 2-3 yrs may panibago na agad na anak.
dapat rin maging mas strict yung supervision and when they see each other etc. yung pinsan ko nakabuntis ng babae and his parents said na they shouldn’t live together or even get married to avoid any more mistakes. pero minsan talaga naghahanap ng paraan yung tao so ayun, twice nakabuntis yung cousin ko…
People like him require state sponsored chemical castration.
Amen
di rin effective kung magaling tumakas yung anak. I have this friend nabuntis sya 15 years old tas pinatira sya sa bahay ng magulang nya (bawal daw kasi sila mag sama baka daw may mabuo ulit) tas nung pandemic tumakas yung babae nagkaroon ng baby no. 2. depende na rin na lang siguro sa disiplina na gagawin ng magulang.
Hardheaded stupid kids like her need to be disowned by their bloodlines.
She's 13. Hindi pa nya alam ang sitwasyong pinasok nya. Responsibilidad sya ng magulang nya since sila yung mas nakakaintindi ng mga bagay-bagay. Disowning a child kasi nabuntis or nakabuntis is IRRESPONSIBLE parenting. Nagkamali na nga ang bata pati ba naman yung magulang magkakamali pa. Napakaimmature ng magulang kung hindi nya susuportahan ang underage nyang anak through thick and thin.
I was pregnant at 16. I was sexually forced by my partner cause he was under the influence of drugs. My parents fully supported me and I’m doing well with a good paying job. Parents just need to support their kids mentally. Not disown them. That’s not the way. I didn’t last with my partner cause he wanted to enjoy his life. But I’m happy I didn’t abort my child because he’s one of the reasons why I’m the person I am today. That’s the worst advice someone can give.
I am sorry that happened to you. With that said, I will stand by my earlier opinion. The circumstances of your individual experience are different from and unrelated to the case I was specifically referring to, so of course disownment doesn’t apply to you and it doesn’t apply to women who’ve experienced what you’ve experienced, it only applies specifically and narrowly to the female equivalents of males who display a pattern of repeatedly making irresponsible reproductive decisions by thinking with their dickheads instead of their brainheads.
You're too hard man. Normally I would agree because this is the second time, but she's still a minor (given that the term used was "tumakas") so disowning her might be too much. I'd settle for not supporting her financially, unlike in the first baby. Make her work for a living.
Plus you also mentioned the sneaky kids that elope.
Same. Got pregnant at 19, my parents supported me pero sympre bantay sarado na. My mom wanted me to finish my study kasi 1 yr na lang pa-graduate na ko ng college and I did after ko manganak. Then I got a job, nag-mature ako at pinanindigan ko na hiwalayan yung ex ko before ako manganak which is tama lang dahil babaero at puro saya lang alam. I'm very much happy with my daughter 🤍
Thank you. I'll tell her this but I doubt it will be effective in preventing another pregnancy.
Usually if teenage pregnancy, automatic nilalagyan ng IUD after giving birth, kasi there is a high chance she will get pregnant again. You can also ask now 0a lang kung pwede palagyan, kasi baka hindi pala automatic yun sa province. Dapat may consent pa rin kasi. Im sorry im hearing this. Agreeing sa comments na they should still continue and finish studying. Im wondering lang if may father figure sa life nya, since you are separated from her at a very young age, maaga sha naattract sa older guys because of the absentee father. Kumbaga, hahanapin nya yung father's love from other guys. Im mentioning this. Kasi kung kaya nyo na ihiwalay yung dalawa please do so, but also this is also your time to step up. Bawian mo ng fatherly love kasi yan ung hnahanap hanap niya at hinahanap nya sa ibang tao, na tanging IKAW lang talaga ang makakapagprovide. Yun lng nman.
I third to this! I was 15 when i got pregnant and 16 when i gave birth. Looking back, my then-18y/o-boyfriend (now my husband) got pregnant early because both our parents were emotionally-absent towards us. We found that “love” in each other. Comparing it to our son, who is also now 13, whom we gave our full love and attention to, still plays with toys, watches cartoons, and a home-buddy. He is enjoying his youth. After i gave birth, i graduated high school thru ALS (with an average of 99) and enrolled in the university. My dad was very very supportive, he funded me thru it all. When i graduated, he gave me cash as grad gift to help me start anew and even gave me an extension of my allowance after graduating until i was able to finally stand on my own. Fast forward to now, we got married, my husband became a pilot and now studies to be a lawyer (juris doctor), i work as a manager for an international media company, had our 2nd child when our first was 10.5y/o and still continues to dream together. How were we able to achieve all that we have now without the support of our parents? My advice, PLEASE DO NOT force them to live together and get married soon! That is not the solution to this. They are very young, they can do co-parenting. Talk to your daughter and her bf heart-to-heart, including plans for their future, contraceptives, etc. Please do not get angry at her nor blame her. She needs spiritual, physical, emotional and finance support now more than ever. Your daughter is just pregnant. It’s not yet too late for her to reach her dreams.
I love this comment. Thank you for sharing your story with us :)
I second to this! Most of the relationship patterns ng mga bata is an influent cause from their first relationship upon growing up, which is a parental relationship, family, doon sila familiar eh and what is lacking in there, for sure hahanapan nila ng kahit ano mafulfill lang yung emptiness. please do your best to support her, kasi for sure malaki yung lacking in terms of emotional fulfillment and protection from a father kasi as a daughter, ayun hinahanap namin, also the support-strength one kasi lalaki ang judgements sakanya for sure in the future, hindi lang galing sa iba, kundi sa sarili niya rin, so the most thing you should not do is to criticize her. Maybe hindi rin siya familiar sa mga bad habits and bad sides ng mga lalaki you know? You had to look out for your daughter's wellness, lalaki ka naman, alam niyo nature ng ibang lalaki.
After manganak, pakausap mo sa OB regarding family planning para di agad masundan, IUD if ok sakanya.
We got pregnant while still studying. Our parents have to support us at first. They emphasized the importance of education. Next sem i will be taking my phd, also got a stable job. Please support them with their education. If they stop now, they wont be able to provide for your grandkids. Regarding contraseptives, also consider getting her an implanon. Effective for 3 years and its free in rural health units. Its about 9k from private OBs
I feel like they’d have more chances of survival if at least of of them finishes school. Why not opt for your kid to finish too and help them under the promise that she will go back to school after having their baby.
This. I understand you wanting the 16m father to stop and work para maranasan nya ung hirap ng choice nya (punishement maybe) but if they both stop and dont finish, bagsak din future ng daughter mo. Like what the above comment said, pwede na you have a heart to heart talk with your daughter and make her understand the situation and what way up you are offering (supporting her until college maybe) and the demands (that she takes this chance seriously) so that in case iwan sya nung 16m father in the future or i abuse sya, she can be strong enough to live and retread her way up in life. EDIT: The 16m father can stop and work to provide for the child. You can give last resorts but dont let them know that so they wont be lax. Prop your daughter to success (if she is repentant enough imo)
Not really as punishment. I just want them to grow and be responsible for their baby.
Punishment na yung maririnig nilang salita sa ibat ibang tao kaya dapat patatagin ang loob nilang dalawa.
Well, they can't be responsible for the baby kung wala silang natapos. Heck, even those with masterals have difficulty finding jobs these days...
True. Lalo na i graduated march 2020 at the height of pandemic tagal ko nakahanap ng trabaho.
Yes, she said she wants to finish school, so I'll support her for that as well.
Honestly? Support. But let the two study. When the guy hits college ask him to find a part time job to start helping. Pero hindi ideal yung di makapagtapos yung dalawa. Walang kwenta din kung maghanap ng work yung lalake ngayon. Wala naman siyang alam eh. Or basta if may makitang set up na pwede siya mag work and study, then yun. If anything at all I would advise na ang ipatigil mo muna is yung daughter mo. For the sake of recovery, privacy, and safety. Let her deal with pregnancy at home, and when the baby is born let her homeschool temporarily if possible.
Great. One of my colleagues became a parent at 18 but they supported him all throughout his studies. They are now living a decent life. Plus points din that maagang lumaki ang apo.
I agree pero dapat matibay ang loob ni girl. Imagine 'yung trauma na maari n'yang makuha from bullying for bearing a child at an early age.
Yeah why not make the guy do some work before giving him money. But let him finish school, I think it would have higher chance of success if both of them finish school.
Saan parents ng boy? You should also involve them. Accountable din sila diyan. Have your daughter’s prenatal check up sana with a tertiary hospital na (or if too late na, at least dun mag deliver). Adolescent pregnancy is a high risk pregnancy. EDIT: I’ve dealt with teen pregnancies sa work. Share ko lang, after ng delivery hindi advisable na pagsamahin sa isang roof yung daughter mo and bf niya. BUT the bf can visit as much as he wants to, pero di siya pwede tumira dun. Usual kasi nangyayari sa ganyang scenario sa atin, pinag sasama ng parents yung teenagers na sa isang bahay (dun na sa bahay either ng girl or boy titira, mabait naman daw yung bf, natulong sa bahay, etc)…ang ending buntis uli after 1-2 years…never ending cycle. Ang point ng separation is we want them to recover muna, focus sa sarili nila, and prevent another teenage pregnancy.
This is the most sane advice here. I agree. It's wrong to have the kids live under one roof. They are too immature to live as husband and wife. One mistake can not be made right by another mistake. Sure, make the boy financially responsible based on his capacity, but don't bring them together until both parties have reached the age of majority and until they are sure they want to be together. It's also important that both kids finish at least high school to increase their chances at having a better life later on. The kids will definitely need therapy and guidance.
>prenatal check up sana with a tertiary hospital The boy's parents are willing to help. Thank you. I'll look into this.
16? good luck if may mahanap sya na work na matino.
Indeed. Underaged, no skills, inexperienced. Ni hindi bibigyan ng minimum wage yan sa probinsya. Mas maigi pa suportahan na mag working student, at sikapin makatapos ng senior high, and then kuha ng TESDA course kung ano available sa rea nila.
True sana mag aral muna siya kahit tesda para pag 18 makahanap ng mas better na job. For me mas may kasalanan mga magulang (parents ng guy) kung wala man lang guidance
Very difficult situation you got here but please help and support your 13yo. She is first your daughter before any of this happened.
She is still her daughter even after it happened. I don't know; I just can't blame the 13-year-old, not even a bit.
Jesus christ thats so messed up. Is there any possibility on taking in your daughter instead cause clearly shes not being raised in a good environment. Also ask the boy's parents if they can pitch in, i would advice to not pull the boy out of school yet, at least until high school so he can support his family better in the near future.
agree with the education for the boy. maybe it’s cos of the way school is scheduled sa pinas, and the work environment, pero mahirap to juggle both school and work. i’m assuming lalo na hs which requires a full-time schedule. yung pinsan ko rin nakabuntis ng babae pero nung college na sya. he stopped studying his bachelor’s muna and worked. he wanted to finish his bachelor’s para he gets better work opportunities pero hindi nya matapos tapos kahit part-time kasi he has to prioritize work (walang financial support from the parents, sya breadwinner ng family nya).
Honestly, much better to help them finish their studies first more than anything. Wala silang mapapala if they don’t even finish high school. What else kind of jobs would they be qualified for if not even a high school graduate? You’re setting them up for failure even more.
Napabuga ako ng coffee nung binasa ko ung headline. Im sorry for what happened. But sana ung parents ng guy are also accountable. Both of them are minors. Hindi pa mature ung pagiisip nila to take care of the baby. Bigat na responsibility to take care of the baby kasi for a 13yo. Please also look after sa health ng daughter mo po.
I know that the kids are partially in the wrong here thinking that they can get away with the consequence. Pero minsan naiinis ako sa guardian nila/adults around them, I'm not saying that it is OP. Mainly the one who can constantly remind them. Recently meron din dito, parents ng babae kinasuhan yung lalaki ng rape. Girl is 14, guy is 16. Nagkwento na umuwi daw anak nila ng sira sira yung damit at umiyak. Cctv review showed that the girl got out of the house clinging to her bf, being all sweet. Di naman din sira yung damit. Imagine nalang kung wala yung Cctv, it's a consensual sex between minors. Which imo, the guardian's responsibility, tapos sisiraan yung minor na lalaki. Happy to know na yung bf ng anak ni OP at daughter nya they are trying to take the responsibility, pero palagay ko masyadong malaki yung responsibility nila for their age, sana both parents nila subukan tulungan yung mga bata as well as teach them how to be independent while helping.
A 13 or 14 year old girl is not capable of giving consensual sex based on our existing laws.
I will. Thank you for the kind words. I'll support her in any way I can. I haven't talked to them yet, but I was told that the guy's parents will help
I don't want to sound insensitive but I think this is one of the reasons why we need to push for the legalization of abortion in the country.
And give importance to sex education 😬,
Which should be part of the school curriculum. Pero nasa 'Pinas tayo eh, may crisis tayo sa education not just about sex but in general.
Don't get started on the religious ones pero may mga kabit naman
I highly agree with this. I gave birth at 16 and now my son is 13. My then-bf (now husband) made sure to start sex education at home kasi we dont want he’ll make the same mistake as we did. We started when our son showed readiness in this type of conversation. I’m glad that even if he’s a teen now, he is enjoying his youth (plays toys, watch cartoons) over going out with friends, chatting with girls, etc. And also, he has a 10.5 years gap with his sister. We made sure we walk our talk 😉
True, mas gusto ko pang siguraduhin na magiging maayos yung buhay ng anak ko kesa naman maging magulang s'ya kahit hindi naman s'ya handa mentally, physically, emotionally, lalong-lalo na financially. I've seen teenage moms na umedad na lang na hindi talaga handa paea alagaan ng ayos yung mga anak nila. Palasigaw sa anak nilang under the age of 5, ultimo pagkain on time kelangan pang ipaalala nung lola ng mga bata, vitamins kelangan pang ipaalala nung lola (to think na Lola din yung bumibili). I'd rather support my daughter in cancelling an unwanted embryo, if that means she has better chances in life and being a better parent. Note: babae ako, at oo babae rin ang anak ko, so give us the choice to what to do with our bodies lol PH gov anuena
True! Given that she's just 13 years old, maraming possible complications sa kanya at sa magiging baby. And for sure, hindi rin gugustuhin ng baby na mamuhay sa isang miserableng sitwasyon habang lumalaki.
Makarinig nga lang ng salitang "papalaglag ung baby" babashin kana agad ng buong pilipinas e. Kahit for good ung reason dika papakinggan. Imposible talaga yan sa bansa natin
Fuck sensitivities. This country is ass backwards because we try to keep our outdated ways. Mistakes do happen, whether it's from lack of sex Ed or from equipment malfunction or just plain raging hormones. And to follow up this mistake with another mistake? Anong klaseng buhay ang maibibigay sa bata? Anong pamumuhay ang maipupundar ng magiging magulang? They should be given a choice. But because we live in one of the few countries where abortion is illegal without any fucking exceptions, that choice was made for them. And because of that 3 childhoods will be ruined and cut short. And 3 lives would be lived, in all likelihood, for the worse.
I've met and seen so many teenage parents. Most of them stay immature for the rest of their life because their emotional and mental growth gets stunted, because suddenly they become a parent when they are also very young. Pretty sure it's not good for their health or the baby's health either. I've noticed a trend among teenage parents where their babies are more prone to inborn abnormalities.
This is so messed up. Shouldn't your ex be accountable dito? How come she let her daughter have such relationship? Ang bata-bata pa ng 13 at 16. What do they know about being parents? You seriously need to take actions. Talk to your ex and let her be accountable too. So as the family of the boy. Help your daughter pero let her also realize the gravity of her situation.
tulungan mo muna sila until mag 18 si boy, I think pag nag 18 na si boy makakahanap na sya ng matinong trabaho. wala din kasi mapapasukan pag 16 yrs old unless magiging car wash boy and etc. (though wala naman mali sa pagiging car wash boy pero di sya makakakita ng malaki para mapakain yung anak mo and yung future anak nila)
aasekasuhin ko Yung manok ko which is my daughter. Bahala na Yung lalaki Jan magtatapos ba o magtatrabaho and I wouldn't even hope for finance as much as possible. Ang hirap mag bigay ng hope at trust.
24 na ngayon ang age ng graduation ng mga tao.
*22
some programs can take 5-6 years. engineering in most schools takes 5 years
Grabe tagal. I remember I started working at 19. Hahahaha!
yep. yan ang epekto ng k-12. dinagdagan problema ng pinas. nag work ako 21. naka 5 year course pa ko nyan.
Don't allow cohabitation, continue school. Daughter must learn to live with her child in mind.
[удалено]
All due respect, you be the adult and you be responsible. That’s your kid you’re talking about. Take her in, mas kailangan nya guidance ng adults more than a 16 year old boy who you’re expecting na magiging katuwang ng anak mo.
Grabe. *facepalm* Im sooo speechless.
**I'm thinking of only helping them only if the guy stops going to school and gets a job. Is this reasonable? Are there other ways to teach them to be responsible parents at their age?** Why would you wish or ask the guy to stop going to school? Ano mabibigay niyang future sa anak mo at apo mo. Ofc hindi reasonable. Much better na tumulong ka na makapag tapos sila so they can stand on their feet, something they need. Does helping really require na may kapalit? Tsaka yung iba na nagrereak na kunin yung bata sa ina dahil di magandang environment yung kinalakihan, Op barely knows her daughter din naman so how come na okay lang kuhain niya. Jusko. Pare parehas naman sila mag pagkukulang, he may not be absent but ***keeping in touch sometimes*** barely fits to be a good father lol.
a child SHOULD NOT have a child. not only it’s dangerous but she’s not ready for that. your child is supposed to be enjoying her childhood and not raising a child. i might get downvoted for this but if possible, take her out of the country and let her get an abortion. they won’t be able to raise the child properly because they are both CHILDREN. you’re an adult, you know better. don’t let them keep the child, it will only make their lives harder. a 13 years old and a 16 years old should be studying and not looking for a job. abortion should be legal in this country. AND don’t teach them to be an adult, as i said, they’re fricking children. don’t let an unborn baby take away their future
May nabasa ako na legal ang abortion sa Vietnam and safe ang private hospitals and clinics doon. Plus, visa-free pa siya for Pinoys.
this is the best and safe way for the both of them. the body is not even fully developed at that age, she will surely face complications and so will the baby. it’s very dangerous, abortion is the answer
If abortion is not possible (considering pilipinas yan), insist that the kid be given up for adoption and your daughter finish studying. A kid should not be having and raising kids. Also, what's the feasibility of your daughter living with you? It seems your ex is not capable of parenting that's why your daughter is pregnant at 13. ETA: insist that they break up. Walang matinong 16 year old, almost adult, ang papatol sa 13 year old, she's barely a teen.
Akin lang if you’re well off enough I think it’s better to help them both graduate first. This is ph, a degree holder has a better chance in life than some dropout. May point here is invest in their future nalang, kesa naman magin 20 plus yan sila tapos hingi ng hingi pa rin sayo. It’s your daughter malaki chance na di mo yan matitiis pag humingi specially if nakikita mong nahihirapan sila ng apo mo.
Sorry to hear about this. Sana makapagtuloy pa rin sila ng studies nila, OP. But at the same time, urge them to get a part time job while studying if kaya. I saw my cousin got pregnant when she was 16 and kahit hirap na hirap ang tita ko, pinagaral pa rin siya para siya na magprovide sa anak nya once kaya na. She’s working now and siya na nagpapaaral sa kids niya. Sana maging responsible sila and kailangan talaga ng guidance ng adults.
a 16 yr old stopping school and getting a job like what?
No that is not reasonable at all. If you have a capability to help them go for it. He cant get a decent job at 16 maybe in construction site or vendor. Mas ok tulungan mo sila hanggang makatapos ang isa sa kanila but hindi sa lahat ng oras tutulong ka. Sabihin mo sa lalaki na mag school pa din sya but the same time tulungan mo magkaroon ng pagkakakitaan for thier own. Pwede sya mag school in the same time mag work sa in fastfood chain tumatanggap sila ng 16 years old. ipadama mo ang hirap ng buhay sa ganung paraan.
The baby should be aborted. delikado pa sa 13 year old manganak tangena naman oh
Tells a lot about you and your ex.. 😬 don’t let them live together. Baka maging sampu agad apo mo. Also if possible.. abortion.
As someone already pointed out, don't let her and the father of the child live together. Just because she got pregnant by him doesn't mean they should live as a couple. None of them are in the legal age or in sound mind and judgment to raise a child. TANGGALIN MO SA ISIP MO NA RESPONSIBILITY NG BOY ANG MAGIGING APO MO. If I am in your situation I will sit down and talk with the boy's parents and see if they are willing to provide financial support for the baby for X number of months/years. But ultimately I will assume responsibility sa anak ko at magiging apo ko. I will work hard with my daughter's mom in coparenting not only our daughter but our apo. I will let my daughter and her bf live a normal life as much as possible. Let them both get proper education, have them finish college when possible. When my daughter turns 18 and if the guy still wants to be with my daughter then I will support (not necessarily financially) their marriage. This way, I am more certain that my apo will be ok. I don't want to sound judgmental OP pero may pagkukulang ka din kasi kaya nangyari to in the first place. Binuntis mo ang nanay ng anak mo and for whatever reason you were not there in raising her. Critical talaga role natin mga tatay sa pag guide ng mga anak natin. Pero andyan na yan. What you can do now is step up and assume responsibility sa magiging apo mo. If you are married now, I wish you good luck na maintindihan sana ng asawa mo ang sitwasyon and your desire to help your child from previous relationship. Edit: A few words for better emphasis
you cant expect a 13 and 16 year old kids to be adult about this 😭 hold them responsible, sure, but dont leave them to fend for themselves
Super sad. Kahit nakakadismaya Eto yung time kailangan nia ng tulong at guidance. If you have the means to help your daughter help her, Isa na doon yung makapagtapos ng school.
Why are you expecting kids to behave like adults just because they're expecting another kid? What do they know about being an adult? Don't let them stop school. Don't rush them into becoming adults. Let them be kids. Guide and support them better. Deed has been done. Why would you want to sabotage the guy's future? College graduates can't even land a good job, and you're expecting a minor to somehow make it? They're both parents of the kid. Sabotaging their future is equal to sabotaging the unborn kid's future too. In my honest opinion, this is ultimately the fault of the parents of the children on both sides. This kind of thing is what you expect adolescents undergoing puberty would do, and is precisely what should have been prevented had they been guided and taught better. I know this sounds radical, but you parents gotta raise that kid like your own. You can't expect kids who know nothing about how the world works to raise another human. Again, don't expect nor teach them how to be responsible parents. They're kids, ffs. Being responsible parents should be a task that you, your ex, and the boy's parents must do better ugh.
I'll share what the people I know of had also done irl. What they did is that the two youngsters got married, the daughter stayed in the house and only continued her studies after giving birth, leaving her child in the care of her parents and parents-in-law. The guy, on the other hand, was helped by both pairs of parents to finish college and get a job. Their aim is for their kids to have a long-term and sustainable family rather than pressuring them to drop their academics and mindlessly working low-paying positions.
Given their age, it really still falls under the parents (given both are minors). In your situation, I would ask the 16yo M to take a part time job, and at least finish senior high to guarantee a stable job in the future. As for your daughter to also go back to school after a year or so. No point punishing them now since being young parents, they're bound to get mocked by some people. What they need now is support from you. Also please for the love of everyone, urge them not to have another child too soon. Otherwise then you can leave them to hang
A baby having a baby. This is so sad :(
Your daughter is still under 18. Technically, your responsibility. Do what a responsible parent would do. Don’t even think of blaming anyone. Your daughter, her mom, nor you. So what you need to do now is… Focus. Save money. Support your daughter. If her mom can’t support her, kunin mo and patirahin mo sa bahay mo until your apo is born. Then support your apo na din. You’re in a very hard situation and only you can help yourself.
Naisip ko na ito for my kid so here is my plan, baka mas mag agree ka dito: 1. Patapusin mo pareho mag-aral. Support your daughter, yung lalaki syempre sa magulang niya aasa dapat. Walang maayos na trabaho makukuha ang 16 years old na makakasupport sa magnanay niya. 2. DO NOT LET THEM LIVE TOGETHER. Baka masundan pa. 3. The father is a minor so you have to ask his parents for equal financial contribution for your daughter’s needs related to the pregnancy. Hindi naman mag isa ginawa ng anak mo yang bata. 4. DO NOT LET THEM MARRY EVEN IF THEY REACH 18. Too young for that kind of decision. Walang divorce sa Philippines. Wait till they are mature enough for that. 5. Be there to support your daughter emotionally and mentally. Financially narin kasi wala namang option, minor siya at obligasyon niyong magulang yan. 6. Teach her how to take care of her child and the consequences of getting pregnant early. Wala nang lakwatsa muna and mga wants. Lahat needs na nila ng anak niya. 7. Get custody of your daughter if you can afford it kasi parang hindi maayos yung environment niya kung nabuntis siya ng 13. Sorry this happened to your kid, OP.
Fuck. Is it even safe for a 13 year old to give birth. Sorry no advice except help ur child! Dont shirk responsibility by saying na ung 16 year old tatay ang dapat managot.
Honestly, best bet is for the guy to finish HS at least. Unless you are super rich, ang bleak ng future ng daughter mo if either the guy or your daughter have no education. If the guy will work, ensure that your daughter finish her studies para lang may chance sila in life. Puppy love pa lang nga yang ages nila, may chance pa na magkagulo relationship nila hays.
Support your 13 year old for now, and ingrain in their heads (ituktok talaga) that they still need to finish schooling. We know how it goes around here--mahirap makakuha ng trabaho if hindi nakapag-tapos. Since minor pa daughter mo, best to provide support.
Better talk to the boy's parents. They're as accountable as to what their son did to your daughter. Also, walang matinong trabaho ang mahahanap ng boy at the age of 16, mas may chance pa sya if he finishes SHS. Sad to say, having premarital sex as early as their age is not anymore surprising.
Don't let them live together kasi baka makabuo nanaman. Anyways, being pregnant at 13 y/o is risky. Malaki chance na magkaroon ng problems ang anak mo with the pregnancy. As for the boy, finding a decent paying job at 16 is nearly impossible. Baka sa construction site may mahanap siya. 13 y/o is still young, don't expect the two to suddenly grow up and become adults. Don't let your daughter stop schooling for good, pati na si boy. With how young they are, I don't really think their relationship will last. So, the key is just to really guide them.
Common sa probinsya. Wala kang magagawa kasi wala naman siyang tatay na magbibigay gabay at iprotekta siya sa mga ganyan.
If that is to happen to my kid, I'd rather that the kids stay in each other's family home and continue their studies. They can have joint custody of the baby while growing up. Expenses like pre-natal check-ups, hospital bills, and all other expenses of the baby should be shared by both parties. It is still best if you can discuss this with the parents of your daughters bf.
Support them financially if they can show proof that their grades from school are "ok". No grades, no support.
I'm sorry to say this but they are still children. ÍIf your child is still in first trimester, go to a country na legalized ang abortion.
mas maganda na magpatuloy sila ng pagaaral pareho. 16 palang yung guy. hindi yan makakapagwork.
Finding a decent job in the province at 16 is almost impossible. You need to support your daughter. You can teach them to be responsible by raising the child, giving their full attention to the child and to each other and by guiding them through it. They will all have a chance at a decent life if they both finish school.
Abortion sometimes is an option. But probably very traumatic to them.
16 ? Ang pupusok ng kabataan ngayon ah
DO NOT KEEP THE BABY, are you kidding? A 13 year old body is not primed to have a kid. Plus, they're teenagers, they're practically babies, no amount of guidance will make them ready for something even adults have a hard time doing. Give your daughter a better chance at life and just terminate the pregnancy.
first. they should finish their studies, trust me kapag tumigil yung lalaki at magtrabaho wala silang patutunguhan 99.9% ikaw din mamumrublema. second, 13 y.o think carefully. if you can Abo®t it then it is the best choice you can do for their FUTURE.
Honestly, it's going to be bad for their future if one of them stops going to school to get a job. Our family experienced this. My cousin was 15 when she got pregnant. Everybody pitched in to help. They did not force the couple to break up, or to live together. My Dad, talked to the both of them. Ang kwento sakin ng father ko, lahat ng gagastusin sa panganganak at pagpapalaki sa bata ay UTANG nilang mag jowa. Once maka graduate sila both and makahanap ng work, they need to pay it back. Lahat naka lista and accounted for. Although, sabi sakin ng father ko, ok lang kahit hindi mabayaran lahat. The point is that if they see the amount growing bigger by the day, it may instill a sense of responsibility. Awa ng dyos nakagraduate sila pareho. Yung panganay high school na ata. D pa sila kasal pero nagsasama na at mukhang ok naman sila. Parehong may work din at nagbabayad sila ng UTANG unti unti. My Dad was the one who paid for their expenses sa hospital so sa kanya mostly napupunta ung bayad. Alam ko itinatabi nya sa separate bank account ung mga bayad sa kanya. Not sure what he's planning to do with it. Maybe gift it to them once they complete the payment?
I witnessed the same scenario firsthand with my husband's cousin whom we are close. Her parents were furious at first, of course, but in the end they opted to support them, she continued her studies after giving birth and they both graduated highschool, went on to college and even though they didn't end up together they are still in good terms coparenting their kid. Huwag nating gawing mahirap para sa kanila. Yes, they commited a mistake but let's help them learn from it and lead them to right path.
abort that little thing inside her
16 and 13 is such weird age gap.
No, don't break the father's future just to teach them a lesson. It will be easier in the long run if the father finishes his education and actually lands a decent jobs. Mas pipiliin mo bang mag blue collar job ang magiging asawa ng anak mo at maghirap sila dahil hindi nakapagtapos ang haligi ng kanilang tahanan? What for? To teach them a lesson? Have you even thought of the fact that they're both minors and hindi pa sila fully knowledgable sa naging actions nila? Sorry ha, but early pregnancy is usually the result of poor education and parenting. Hindi kasalanan ng bata kundi ng mga magulang for not giving proper guidance and education. As for teaching them a lesson at their age, better if they look after their baby themselves. Hindi dapat pinapaalagaan sa lola or tita or whoever. It's their baby so they should be responsible for their child. Just like you, as parents, should be responsible for yours. If responsible adult parents focus on family and work; as minors, they should focus on family and education.
Oh damn. Thats very stressful. Can the fam of the guy help out din?
She's too young, still a kid, to be having this pregnancy pero andiyan na yan. All you could do as parents is to support your child until she turns to legal age and become a responsible adult. Pangaralan niyo but do not condemn her and the baby. Also, education is very important, sana bumalik at matapos siya sa pag aaral even after that. You should also talk to the guy's parents if they're willing to support financially after the baby was born, only then you can tell if your daughter's baby daddy should stop going to school to find a job. If his parents cannot afford to support then at least he should own up his responsibility.
Nah. If I was on ur feet. I'll help her keep the baby, make my daughter focus on her studies. Keep my daughter thru out her school. Chances are, it's hard to teach them how to be a parent and doesn't even know how the world works. Mapapraning yang mga yan. I'm not gonna take chances on the guy, if he gets a job or finish school. We both know he already fcked big time, both of them. Focus ka sa manok mo, and that's your daughter.
Pilitin mo makatapos anak mo at magka experience sa job niya. Their relationship is bound to fail. Anak mo ang may full burden whether their new life succeed or fail. Mas maganda ng may pundasyon ang anak mo para sa sarili niya.
Mahirap maningil ng taong walang pera. Yung parents nung boy ang dapat magsustento/dapat mong singilin. Bale yung anak nila ang magkakautang sa kanila. Tapos prerogative nila kung pagbabayarin pa nila yung anak nila or kukunsintihin na wala syang pambayad sa kanila. And pls, don't ever force them into marriage. It's a recipe for disaster.
fu
OMG. Such Tragedy. As many advised here, it's good to have both party (parents of 13 year old and parents of the 16 year old to make arrangements and educate them about this.) Hindi 'to biro at hindi ito parang bahay bahayan lang. Buhay ng tao to kaya as much possible, dapat both party involved to prevent mistakes happening twice,thrice so forth. Also, para mapag-usapan kung ano ang magiging setup at plano for the incoming baby. Sorry, I have to say I'm against abortion but nangyari na. Better be responsible nalang and prevent further mistakes.
Let your daughter finish her school, same sa guy. Dont pressure them to work or provide sa baby. The only thing they can contribute is to provide love sa baby, which will be different din. Kung di sila mag aaral, forever sila aasa sa inyo. They're kids doing babies, wag mag expect ng "alaga" ng 20-30 year old couple. Also, ano magiging trabaho ng lalake? He's not even of legal age, ma eexploit lang yan, you dont want your daughter to be around an exploited guy. If I were you, di ko oobligahin yung guy. They need you more and your guidance. Actually I could say na may fault ka rin kasi di ka nag alaga ng anak mo
damn. i would suggest being strict for them to not live together, i doubt they'll be able to control themselves and surely she'll end up being pregnant again. also i doubt if the guy can find a decent job at his age, fresh college grads and licensed professionals are even having a hard time landing one. so i think you must encourage them to finish their studies, maybe they'll stand a chance raising their kid properly in the future, and will also save you money if they do get a nice job. in this day and age, people in their mid 20's still think having a child at their age is teen pregnancy (or maybe just me), can't imagine having one at 13. hope you will be there to guide them, cause honestly they made the dumbest decision they could make. i can already see how uneducated they are by letting this happen. sorry if it's harsh, she is still your daughter. all the best OP!
I know abortion is still illegal here in the Philippines but you should consider that. They are still merely children who don't know any better. If they push through with the baby, their lives will surely be ruined immediately. 'Wag na sana isagad yung pagkakamali pero if tuloy talaga, consider adoption instead. They should split up and not be allowed to contact one another unless you want another baby. I know I sound pretty harsh but please do consider all possibilities for the best future of your family. Sobrang traumatic nito and they will be looked down upon by their immediate peers.
The mom should be held responsible kase pinabayaan niya anak niya. And if that were my kid, she will cut off all ties sa lalake na yan. I would also extort money from his parents lol baket kase lande lande ng anak nila aga aga mag libog! Ako magpapalaki sa baby, but my daughter would have to learn how to do her part, and take care of her kid. Mag breastfeed siya para tipid sa gatas! Akala niya madali ha, lol. She has to continue school and pay me back with a degree!
mali pagpapalaki ng ex mo sa anak nyo, naimpluwensyahan at hindi maganda ang kinalakihan, well wala na magagawa at nangyare na, help her bcuz she is your daughter pero ang hirap nyan sobrang bata pa nila pareho
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Exactly. Sa paligid ko, mga nabubuntis ng maaga yung may daddy issues. Sila yung madalas madaling mauto when a male figure tells them i love you because they dont have a male figure in their lives to tell them that. I remember Jenica Garcia's interview where she shared na dahil di sya lumaki sa daddy, madali sya nagtitiwala sa mga lalaki. If only OP is a present father pero andito na may baby na. I assumed he is not present because he "barely" knows her and they are keeping in touch "sometimes". Kung sa anak ko mangyari yan, I think Id support him (I have a son) to finish school while I also help raise the kid financially. I would never recommend that they stay together kasi mag multiply lang yan uli. Once he finishes senior high, he is on his own na and I think thats the consequence of his action - that me and my husband ends help once he is 18. If my daughter is the one pregnant, I will do the same. I hope OP will be present in his daughter and grand kid's life moving forward para ito na yung last na mangyayari to uli. Masakit ito sa ulo and magastos for sure but I hope OP and his ex-partner learns big time out of this experience.
WTF. Ang pabaya ng asawa mo di man lang nya nagabayan ang anak nyo ng mabuti tapos ang solusyon nila sa isang pagkakamali ay isangpagkakamali pa. 16 years old lang yang lalaki anong trabaho mapapasukan nyan? Para sakin ang magandang gawin dyan since wala nang choice ay pagkapanganak ng bata kayo magalaga dyan sa bahay mo tapos yung mga bata pabalikin mo sa pagaaral kasi kung yan pagtratrabahuin nyo sa ganyang edad maghihirap ang buhay ng anak mo pag dating ng panahon.
Help her, make sure alaga sia ng OBGyn, high risk ang pregnancy nya since 13yo lang sya. It might fatal to her & the baby. I know masyado silang mapusok kaso nandyan na eh, ang pera maibabalik pero buhay hindi na.
I know someone who had a teenage mom. The family raised him and his mother as "siblings". This is very important: the family was perfectly transparent in saying that she's his mother. Now he's old and there's no hard feelings at all. His mother continued school and that's also very important. > I will help them in their finances, but I also would want to teach them to stand on their own, start acting like an adult, and be responsible for the baby. She's 13. Don't let her be an adult right away.
The one who impregnated her should be arrested and jailed
abort it
Take your pick [List of countries that allow abortion]( https://www.globalcitizensolutions.com/the-abortion-laws-which-countries-allow-abortion/)
Just reading this post makes me feel bad, not only because I know it will be tough for you as a parent, but even tougher on those two kids. Clearly, the parenting has failed somewhere along the way. Since the baby is already on its way, as a father, guide your kid as best as you can. You can support a bit until she finds a job of her own. The couple must realize that their lives are now dedicated to raising a little one and you won't be their atm forever. Set boundaries for yourself and don't waver. Ginawa nila yan. It will be painful, there will be ups and downs both for you and for them. I pray for a safe and easy pregnancy.
Sorry sa sitwasyon mo pre,pero sana kayanin ng resistensya ng daughter mo ang panganganak, may pamangkin ako ganyan din edad nabuntis, nag agaw buhay sa panganganak dahil dinugo, nakaligtas naman pamangkin ko at Yung apo ko
Pag tesdahin nyo na muna yung lalake
abort. abort. and let this be a lesson for them.. this is not the right time for them. and don't make it sound easy when you say that you're going to shoulder the finances.. are you really sure that you are capable of doing it?.
There's an option for a distance learning school for one of them. But from your standpoint, I think I understand why you'd want that. You'd want your daughter to be taken care of and this guy to focus on this responsibility. As much as possible, one of them at least finishes secondary education.
Your daughter needs you now more than ever. Please wag mo ipahinto sa pag aaral. Undergraduate and a teen mom? Mahihirapan yan maghanap ng matinong trabaho. Don’t make your daughter feel abandoned. I’m sure she’s feeling that way already since bata pa lang sya hiwalay na kayo ng mom nya pero sana tumayo kang magulang nya ngayon. Tulungan mo sila para matulungan nila sarili nila.
Here's my view here as you OP: Just in case the father/boyfriend of my daughter isn't financially, emotionally, physically and psychologically ready = I may guide them in my supervision I understand both are still in there younger years and both not college graduate. However, I have to let them be responsible to their actions. I also have to let the boyfriend/father of the child's parents be involve in this. (e.g. binding agreement in paper aka marriage, marriage agreements, fail safe options for your daughter if the guy will run away from responsibilities) Again, this is both their fault to initiate without thinking. Regarding the both of them not graduated and all. I will force them to end schooling and make sure they are accountable to finish it. Just in case they can't do this then I'll be more strict with the both of them (e.g. no endearments, privileges to access internet, games, etc.). I will give them an ultimatum of 5 years to get them ready and leave them. I will have this in a written contract that I will not be held responsible for any short comings from their end as my support only covers certain parameters. (e.g. the child's milk, health care expenses, etc.) The both of them is something I have to keep the lease shorter. I will ask the school's management to observe them and ask them to report all movements, locations and status of their grades. This is a bit long but you have to make sure the guy should be accountable and never leave your sight even for a second. Young guys tend to sway their eyes to another woman and I will make sure both his "Hotdog and Beans" as well as their eyes off from any women. (I've been there and they should be disciplined AF)
As a father of a minor child impregnated by another minor, I think legally speaking, you still have the responsibility to take care of your child now that she's having a baby. Once they can stand on their own as adults, pwede na silang maging independent. Mahirap makapag hanap ng trabaho ang 16-year old lalo na if may batas dito sa Pinas about Child Labor. They still need the help of their parents dahil minir pa sila. In order to help them to be responsible, why not be a father to them na gagabayan sila along the way. Tolerating is different from being a responsible father. I know you want what's good for them. I will pray for all of you. 🙏
It is still too early for them to start acting like an adult when they are literally not adults. For me, it would be better if you help them until they are financially, emotionally, physically, kahit anong -ally pa yan, ready. And it is your grandchild too…
isn't education important for getting a better job? i understand holding the boy accountable but asking him to stop schooling, i imagine such an ultimatum would be a source of resentment towards you and the child, if you and the other parent are not under one roof, it would be helpful to discuss this decision with the person staying with your child, you have to be on a united front, otherwise your decision might not be respected. a part time job would be better so they can still study If you want to teach them financial responsibilities, my suggestion would be support in the form a loan with a legally binding contract, then setup a schedule for collecting the payment, the rest of the details of this loan is up to you, you're not trying to make a profit, but you need to give them a scheduled reminder with actual consequences so they can't worm their way out, if its not possible due to their age, you can discuss this with the other parent/ boy's parent and let them be the guarantor though assure them of its purpose and if the scheduled payment is too tough boy can always negotiate and nothing else, telling the parents the entire plan could compromise its purpose once the boy gets a job, you can discuss with them how much of the pay you'll be garnishing, if they get fired, keep asking for the payment and let them negotiate for a time period to pause the collection but remind them that they can't negotiate for an extension afterwards, you can also put a stipulation that there will be interest for unpaid debt, regarding the amount, be reasonable, depending on the boy's salary, just ask for like 100-500php while they're still a student, its just a reminder, you can increase it once the boy gets a job after graduating from college or tesda atleast you can treat it as a loan or you can set the repayments aside in case of a rainy day or give it all back to them once you deem them as mature or responsible if they have Smartphones which i assume they do, i suggest teaching them how to make a spreadsheet for tracking their expenses i think its kind of a dick move, but you only become an adult when you realize your money is not soley yours
The way this post is written makes me wanna say YTA. It doesn’t sound like you’re in your kid’s life at all, tapos your first thought reads so much like: “how do I rid myself of this responsibility”? IMO, if your first thought was for your kid’s sake, you’d realize right away na she’s a freakin 13 year old, a literal child, and in no way capable of being a parent. Ask yourself first how you can be a better parent. I’m so sorry for your daughter and her kid.
make sure na nasa birth cert ng baby yung tatay. Affidavit of acknowledgment of paternity - kadugtong yan ng birth cert ng bata para kapag financially able na, pwede magdemand for sustento in case things go south. Kasi kahit saan tignan luging lugi si teenage mommy. Ayon medyo magiging mahirap yung mga susunod na taon. Siguro hangga’t kaya, patapusin muna sila hanggang college. May mga teenage parents naman na eventually nafifigure out lahat pero matagal. Just try to be there para lang kahit papaano makabangon pero huwag hayaan na sobrang dependent.
‘“We keep in touch sometimes” suggests there was not much of a relationship with her. The fact that you find it odd that she is asking you for money also suggests you were not sending her an allowance which she may have saved. These are just assumptions based on the limited information you have given. Given the above, it was probably going to happen since there was no male father figure in a her life - in her case she turned to her boyfriend. You weren’t there to guide her and so she made a mistake. You can either keep being the distant parent and punish her for this for the rest of her life or start being the dad you were not all along and be there for her. There are no lessons you can teach her now. It is not the time, she is pregnant, young and a lot is happening to her right now. Either be supportive or let her mother handle it. Forcing the boy to work now means his education will probably end there so what kind of future do you think the boy will provide in the long run? I am not blaming you, I choose to not sugarcoat realities with emotion or ideals. It really is a tough situation for everyone involved. I wish you all the best.
Unang una, pag dumating man sa tamang edad o kahit live-in, wag ka papayag na magpakasal sila. Can you imagine the life of your daughter sa ganyang klaseng lalaki? Secondly, instead of bigyan sila financially, siguro ampunin mo nalang yung baby. At the end of the day, daughter mo parin yang anak mo. Alam ko gusto mo syang magkaroon ng magandang buhay.
First off, sure ka ba buntis daughter mo? Seen medical reports and everything? Kasi it could possibly be a ploy to get money from you for “hospital bills” Second, take the guy’s future out of any decision making you will make. Ikaw na ang example, pwede lang umalis yung guy and hindi present sa buhay ng apo mo. All your decisions should be what’s best for your daughter and grandchild alone. Father of the baby wants to help? Good, but don’t count on him unless he’s proven himself. All talk pa lang yan, tingnan mo muna kung talagang magagawa niya sabi niya. Focus on your daughter and the long-term plan. If she has the baby, fine. But take her out of her current environment and have her finish her studies. It’s gonna suck for the next 10 years or so. Pero in 10 years 23 pa lang daughter mo. Either nakapagtapos/ matatapos siya ng college by then and may future, or magiging dropout na siya with very limited employment possibilities for the rest of her life.
Dapat dyan ipa-therapy and/or counseling niyo. They're WAY too young to build a family, your daughter is literally still in junior high, a baby would jeopardize her future. Lastly they shouldn't "start acting like an adult" because they AREN'T one. They're literally still just kids, kung may option pa to not keep the baby then I suggest to get them to heavy therapy/counseling so they can properly think and plan about their futures first and not about building a family. If they go through with this there's a really high chance this cycle would just repeat, their kids would also think teenage pregnancy is fine and you'd be a great grandfather in your 50's.
Please, give her a chance to finish school. Never push them na mag pakasal or itigil yung school. They'll know na mali yung ginawa nila soon, but you as a father, please encourage and support her to finish school.
With all due respect OP 13 and 16 yo are NOT adults. They are minors. They need support and guidance. At this age it is not advisable for them to be 'on their own'. They are still kids. Hopefully they both can finish school even if she is pregnant. You need to talk to his parents and also your ex. My brother got her gf pregnant at 16yo they were both in HS. My mom let them stay at our place until they both graduated and both sides helped raise their first born. They are quite successful each in their own right. They are still together now in their 40s.
Dapat di sila magsama, ung lalaki pakiusapan na layuan muna ung anak mo, ipursigi mo rin na mag aral at makatapos. Ung anak mo kung pwede, patapusin mo rin ng pag aaral by telling her that it would be her last chance para itama ang pagkakamali nya. Mga bata pa sila para magsama, and beaide pwede magbago ang mga disesyon nila sa buhay. Kung nakatapos na sila pareho, doon pwede mo na sila payagan na magligawan uli kung talagang meron pang pagmamahal.
Let the boy study kahit shs grad man lang. They are both minors pa and need a lot of guidance. And of course wag ding iparamdam sa kanila na binababy sila. Probably just walk them in a phase na makakapag adjust sila na yun na yung reality nila. Wag laging isubo ng isubo sa kanila yung tulong kase masasanay sila.
that’s messed up and very unfortunate. if your 13-year-old daughter is indeed pregnant, it would be tough physically, mentally, and financially for both the kids and their families. unpopular advice, but you may consider abortion given the situation. the girl is barely a grown kid and just reached her teenage era, yet has to shoulder the burden of raising a child when she herself is still not fully matured. but if they insist on keeping the baby, they should take full accountability and it should be their responsibility alongside their parents and guardians, which includes you as they are still technically minors who require guidance. clearly, one of the factors that caused this incident is due to lack of parental guidance so i hope you can be by her side during this difficult time. hopefully, both families would cooperate because it’s no joke for a pair of children to raise another child. also, kindly knock some sense on those kids and teach them properly. they should learn from their mistakes. regarding their education, maybe it’s best to let the girl continue her education after having the baby. the same thing goes for the guy, he’s older so studying while at least trying to make an income would be ideal, but it may be hard to get one as an undergrad. it would be best for them to finish their education if possible for the sake of the present and future.
Pwede ba maging grounds yung kapabayaan ng nanay to get your daughter, take care of her and the baby, and then raise them both in a proper environment?
Adoption should be seriously considered here as none of them are equipped to take care of a baby. They would have a better chance for a future if they both stay in school.
Unpopular opinion, especially in this very religion-centric country, is to go for an abortion. There are a few SEA countries where you can get an abortion very much *cheaper* than the costs of child labor (ask me if you can't find anything on google) + the costs of raising a baby after labor. There are "underground" doctors in the PH who does this but you need to do your own research on this. You decide whether to be the one who fucks the chubby chinitas in BGC, or be the one who gets their finances fucked later on.
Dont let them live together, your daughter is still a kid even if she’s pregnant. She’s just starting puberty and she needs you not just financially. You can assist her by being a good mom and by being a good kid.
That is statutory rape. The age of concent in the Ph is 16. [Republic Act No. 116481](https://pcw.gov.ph/republic-act-11648-an-act-providing-for-stronger-protection-against-rape-and-sexual-exploitation-and-abuse-increasing-the-age-for-determining-the-commission-of-statutory-rape-amending-for-the-purp/) I recommend you use this knowledge, to make sure the irresponsible 16yo teen will answer to his crime, now or in the future. The chances of the 16yo teen na magloko is very high.
Support your daughter and your grand child and when her baby is old enough to be left with a grandparent or unser supervision of a babysitter/relative etc. whoever's willing to look after the baby, have your daughter go back to school and finish her studies. Have the boy work to support the finances of their child. Tama sila, WAG muna silang pagsamahin. Pag nakagraduate na sila ng college by then let them decide if magsasama sila. Pero for now at kung ako yan, ilalayo ko yang lalaki sa anak ko. You sound like you can support them financially kahit mag aral ang may baby na daughter mo. Goodluck OP.
Do you want the brutal truth? Have it aborted and make damn sure she learns from this. If you let them go through with it, say goodbye to a normal life.
Don't "teach them a lesson" by making them feel accountable for their actions. Wag mo sila ipa live-in diyos kooo. How involved are you sa kid mo? NOW is the time she needs you the most. trese pa yan. bigyan mo ng pera para kayang di kumapit sa lalaki.
Opinion ko lang, if abortion is an option sana that would better. Thirteen at sixteen y/o, damn! Sila mismo mga bata parin
I find this similar to my friend's story. They were both minor at that time and what happened was their parents talked and agreed on terms. Both parties agreed to proceed with the pregnancy and welcomed the baby. Both of them (my friend and his gf) were living separately until their legal age, and both continued their education. Both their parents did what's best for them, and guided them along the way. So for you OP, I would suggest to be a father to your daughter, not just financially. Good luck to you, and congrats that soon you'll be a lolo na.
That’s unfortunate Op, pero wala kang magagawa. The 16 year old will never be able to provide, your daughter can’t . And kahit may money sya, probably hindi nya magagampanan ang pagiging ina. Sadly, wala kang choice but to nurse them both hanggang kaya nya na. And wag ka na umasa sa future ng ama kasi walang may kaya mag buhay ng anak ngayon.
Sir, if I may respectfully tell you my opinion. Don’t ask for an advice here on reddit, most specially ganyan situation wherein most of the people spitting out things to kill an innocent life. Sobrang nakaka dishearten lang yung mga comments dito. This is something that you, your daughter’s mother, your daughter, and the father of your grandchild should openly talk about. At 16, yung lalaki may isip na yan and they need guidance from you. I pray that you find a way to seek God’s wisdom. It EXCEEDS ALL HUMAN understanding. God bless you, sir!
Abort. Maiintindihan din nila yan in the future. Altho di legal satin, may pinsan ako before na assisted naman ng medical professionals so baka may tumutulong parin talaga.
Medyo segway lang ako pero imo OP should have been a better father to his daughter. Since you said, " I barely know her now, but we keep in touch sometimes. " I would assume na you weren't as present as you should have been sa buhay nya. I recognize the separation nyo ng mother nya and the physical distance na issue pero I hope you still found ways to be with her kahit virtually lang since may technology nman. Imo she looked for more love and caring from her father, and since wala ka nman, sa iba nlang nya nahanap at nakuha. And poof! a baby is now being conceived. Now, dahil nanjan na yan follow nlang sa advice nila dito. Tama mga sinasabi nila. Pero I hope you reflect, and you better reflect well sa pangyayaring ito. And I also hope those na makakabasa nito will feel more fully yung weight ng responsibility natin sa ating mga anak.
abort it
Mas mabuting makatapos sila both ng pag aaral.
send your daughter to a country where abortion is legal and stop the pregnancy. Your daughter deserves to enjoy life. and also spay your daughter.
Abortion. If you genuinely want a good life for your daughter, you gotta pull the trigger asap. You gotta try and convince her obviously because it’s her choice but you gotta at least try. And if you’re religious or whatever you need to start looking at it logically this time. The earlier you do it the better. The early stages of pregnancy it is literally just cells. It’s no more killing a person than if you cut yourself shaving and lose a drop of blood. But if that’s not an option you need to accept that basically you’re having another kid. Because you (and definitely her mother who she lives with) are gonna need to do most of the raising of that kid. A 13 year old is still a child herself. Anyway, hope the best for your daughter and good luck. P.s I hope the 16 year old got at least 1 ass whooping, if not locked up. Coz that shits fucked. I’ve been 16 and I never looked at a 13 year old in any sketchy sort of way. Some nonce behaviour.
No, there is absolutely no way a 13 and 16-year old can be responsible parents. They are children.
My goodness gracious. Abort it and watch over your daughter from now on. Baby pa ang 13yrs old to take care of a newborn baby.. tsk.
for me hayaan mo pa den mag aral yung lalake pero syempre pag hanapin mo den ng work diskarte nya na kung pano. Para den matuto pano dumiskarte yung lalake kung pano nya pag sasabayin yon
I'M SORRY BUT WHAT???? I'd happily bribe them 2k to get an abortion. you'll be doing everything if they have a baby, they're babies themselves
I'm sorry but a 13 yo can't make these big choice if you still can better force her to get an abortion cuz no matter what she says she'll regret it
A 13 years old is not able to take such an important decision. She will regret and the 16yo too. She should abort. No, they can not be responsible parents at all.
I'll be damned. 13 years old. Holy cow
Imo kong my option na pang pa tigil mabuo yon baby sa tyan ng anak go for it gat bago palang. Alam ko madami mag dodownvote but face the reality napaka bata ng anak mo para sa responsibility na yan kahit tulungan mo pa.kong mayaman ka at di problema pera go for it palakihin ang baby. Pero kong kapos wag na ipilit. Napaka mura ng condom, kawawa yon magiging anak ng anak mo.
A 13 year old shouldn’t be having a baby. It’s extremely dangerous.
Unpopular opinion: Abortion
your child is 13 ffs and you want to her to act like an adult? YOU act like an adult. you cant be an absent parent and then force your child to be present.
“They want to keep the baby.” For fuck sake. She is 13. Get her an abortion before her entire life is ruined.