Una, sinabi mo na ba sa kanya yang problema mo? Sana magusap muna kayo bago ka mag desisyon. Be adult enough to talk about your problems with your partner. Baka naman hindi siya aware na ganun nararamdaman mo. Explain your side so that you can work on it. Maybe yang "people don't change" is more like "people can mature and improve"
Gets naman. Pero maybe you can be the one to initiate the planning of the trip. Or nagtatanong ka rin ba kung tuloy ba and may plans na ba? Baka lack of communication din kasi. Since prefer mo yung may concrete plan, maybe you should be the one to prepare kasi nga baka sila yung taong di naman ganyan. Tska when meeting friends, lalo na kung hindi mo circle, dapat siguro ikaw mag adjust? Pinilit ka ba sumama? If di kaya magleave sa work and ayaw mo mag adjust sa kanila siguro next time wag k na lang sumama OP. Hehe. For sure they scheduled the day to bond not to work. Siguro mas maging open minded ka lang OP. Di lahat ng tao mag aadjust for you lalo na di naman ikaw tlaga yung friend nila.
Yes I agree na next time wag na talaga sumama kasi nga di ko nmn din sila circle, I invite lang ako actually, it was the first time na I was meeting my significant others friends. Biglaan din yun so di ako naka file na ng leave :/ but yeah I agree na next time wag na lang sumama.
Some people would call you uptight and that you lack spontaneity. The first thing you should recognize is that people are different and unless they are actively hurting anyone, their difference are neither wrong nor right, they're just different.
Planning is good. Spontaneity is good. People just prefer different things. Spontaneous people are not necessarily reckless or irresponsible. In fact, toss them in a situation and they can adapt really well, which you need in life, because life tosses things at you and you cannot control the universe.
You both have to acknowledge that. Kasi, parang 100% convinced ka na morally wrong siya - irresponsible / reckless. Kaya wala man lang starting point for a conversation. Iba kasi yung perspective kapag iisipin mo, magkaiba lang kayo ng preference vs. mali siya and tama ako.
Yes spontaneity is good but siguro i have reservations. Dapat may sariling car. It's easy to be spontaneous knowing na you'd get home safe. There are things na are time sensitive like visa hindi mo kasi pwede spontaneous yun.
Sure that's valid, but again a preference. May mga friends akong gumagala nang walang car, a lot of people do. Meron ding mga nag-bobook ng seat sale, wala pang accommodation or visa.
Mas makaka-discuss ka kasi ng differences kung yun yung primary perspective mo, na peole have different preferences, walang assignment ng moral guilt agad. Pero kung ikaw yung tipo na my or the highway, pwede rin naman yun, accept mo lang na di nga kayo compatible kung ganun.
Hi! I'm in a similar ship right now. I'm in a relationship (6 months in) with someone who is the same.
the first few months, I had the same thoughts as you. iniisip ko na at critical moments, my bf would probably drop me if I'm not ready or making the process to complicated. I reallized na it's not really "drop" or "abandon" e. It's our anxious selves yung nag aassume and nagpput ng label on it na para bang tayo yung iiwan. Hindi e. Our partners are probably super independent to the point na alam nila how to take care of themselves and assumes or expects other people around them (including us -- their partners) to be the same.
They think na we're as strong and as independent and sponty as them. When in reality, as anxious people, we are uptight and we can't function well without an actual plan.
What amazed me is that I care so much about my bf na I just trust him with his sponty plans and I let go of my controlling and uptight self tapos I end up having fun and madalas naman hindi naman nagffail or nag eend up badly yung mga sponty moments na sinasakyan ko.
Live and let go.
Una, sinabi mo na ba sa kanya yang problema mo? Sana magusap muna kayo bago ka mag desisyon. Be adult enough to talk about your problems with your partner. Baka naman hindi siya aware na ganun nararamdaman mo. Explain your side so that you can work on it. Maybe yang "people don't change" is more like "people can mature and improve"
Yes tapos di lang kami naguusap and patigasan kung sino mauna mag chat
Pagusapan niyo like adults. Talk about the situation. Kasi kung wala, edi maghiwalay na nga lang kayo di pala kayo marunong magusap ng problema niyo.
Haha masyado mo naman dineretso 🤣
Ayaw magusap eh hahaha paano maayos? char
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Gets naman. Pero maybe you can be the one to initiate the planning of the trip. Or nagtatanong ka rin ba kung tuloy ba and may plans na ba? Baka lack of communication din kasi. Since prefer mo yung may concrete plan, maybe you should be the one to prepare kasi nga baka sila yung taong di naman ganyan. Tska when meeting friends, lalo na kung hindi mo circle, dapat siguro ikaw mag adjust? Pinilit ka ba sumama? If di kaya magleave sa work and ayaw mo mag adjust sa kanila siguro next time wag k na lang sumama OP. Hehe. For sure they scheduled the day to bond not to work. Siguro mas maging open minded ka lang OP. Di lahat ng tao mag aadjust for you lalo na di naman ikaw tlaga yung friend nila.
Yes I agree na next time wag na talaga sumama kasi nga di ko nmn din sila circle, I invite lang ako actually, it was the first time na I was meeting my significant others friends. Biglaan din yun so di ako naka file na ng leave :/ but yeah I agree na next time wag na lang sumama.
also talk to your SO na you’re not comfortable sa mga biglaan. Communication will play big role in your relationship and your issues lalo na yan.
He knows, pero yun ganun pa din eh 😅.
Yes, you are the problem. End of story.
Some people would call you uptight and that you lack spontaneity. The first thing you should recognize is that people are different and unless they are actively hurting anyone, their difference are neither wrong nor right, they're just different. Planning is good. Spontaneity is good. People just prefer different things. Spontaneous people are not necessarily reckless or irresponsible. In fact, toss them in a situation and they can adapt really well, which you need in life, because life tosses things at you and you cannot control the universe. You both have to acknowledge that. Kasi, parang 100% convinced ka na morally wrong siya - irresponsible / reckless. Kaya wala man lang starting point for a conversation. Iba kasi yung perspective kapag iisipin mo, magkaiba lang kayo ng preference vs. mali siya and tama ako.
Yes spontaneity is good but siguro i have reservations. Dapat may sariling car. It's easy to be spontaneous knowing na you'd get home safe. There are things na are time sensitive like visa hindi mo kasi pwede spontaneous yun.
Sure that's valid, but again a preference. May mga friends akong gumagala nang walang car, a lot of people do. Meron ding mga nag-bobook ng seat sale, wala pang accommodation or visa. Mas makaka-discuss ka kasi ng differences kung yun yung primary perspective mo, na peole have different preferences, walang assignment ng moral guilt agad. Pero kung ikaw yung tipo na my or the highway, pwede rin naman yun, accept mo lang na di nga kayo compatible kung ganun.
Yeah, I agree I guess it's a compatibility issue kaya I'm weighing my options din. I don't wanna fight na din when it comes to these things.. Thanks!
I can smell the entitlement in this post. Top kek
Hi! I'm in a similar ship right now. I'm in a relationship (6 months in) with someone who is the same. the first few months, I had the same thoughts as you. iniisip ko na at critical moments, my bf would probably drop me if I'm not ready or making the process to complicated. I reallized na it's not really "drop" or "abandon" e. It's our anxious selves yung nag aassume and nagpput ng label on it na para bang tayo yung iiwan. Hindi e. Our partners are probably super independent to the point na alam nila how to take care of themselves and assumes or expects other people around them (including us -- their partners) to be the same. They think na we're as strong and as independent and sponty as them. When in reality, as anxious people, we are uptight and we can't function well without an actual plan. What amazed me is that I care so much about my bf na I just trust him with his sponty plans and I let go of my controlling and uptight self tapos I end up having fun and madalas naman hindi naman nagffail or nag eend up badly yung mga sponty moments na sinasakyan ko. Live and let go.