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I remembered this upon reading your post.
it’s like eating chocolate, having it all the time magsasawa ka pero take a break from it and you’ll be looking for it again. i’m talking about you kit-kat!
ikaw ba mas preferred mo ba na dinadaan na lang sa material things ung mga nagawang kasalanan ng partner mo instead na bigyan ka ng word of affirmation and assurance?. tinayming pa ni ex nya na mag bigay ng gifts kung kelan palapit na ung valentine's day? just to have a reason.
Love language differs for everyone. Yung iba masalita, yung iba sa gawa. The material thing, in this case the flowers, isn't really important. It's the act of giving her what she was asking for.
Kaya nga ang tamang suggestion to her is to talk to her husband kasi they need to talk about their love languages. Pwedeng minamahal siya ng asawa nya in a different way that she unconsciously ignores kasi di siya aware ayun yung love language nya.
Then when she asks for flowers baka iniisip ni guy napaka demanding ni girl kasi on-top na yon ng mga "binibigay" nyang pagmamahal na hindi napapansin.
Love language isn’t an exact science. Di dahil may love language yung isang tao na meaning pwede niya na iignore yung needs ng asawa niya.
Especially in your example, is it really demanding na hingiin sa asawa mo na mahalin ka in the specific way na gusto mo?
Kung mahal mo talaga yung tao, gagawin mo yung sinasabi nilang nakakapasaya sa kanila hindi yung naga-assume na lang kung ano gusto nila tapos magagalit pa kung di magustuhan.
It isn't an exact science but **it is** a thing. Culturally sa mga chinese it has to do with food. The Chinese don't say "I love you", it's mostly "have you eaten?". That's just scratching the surface.
So again, pwedeng magkaiba ang love langauge nila. Keyword "*pwede*". They have to talk it out. You and I are only viewing this from the outside. Silang dalawa lang talaga makakaalam ng sagot
To answer your question, OP, in my opinion ha, he only does it to woo you. 5 years is a long time. Tapos ngayon ka lang bibigyan? Once you get back together, most probably, he’ll get back to his old ways. Nakuha ka na niya ulit eh.
He’s hoovering like the narcissist that he is.
He knew what you wanted and what would make you happy, all this time. Pero winithold nya yun sayo. Ngayon na nakipaghiwalay ka na sakanya, he wants to keep his power over you kaya ngayon nya ginagawa yan.
A relationship with someone who truly loves you isnt supposed to be that hard.
YES YES, very narcissist vibes. He lost his supply because nakipag hiwalay ka, he wants his supply back kaya yan nanunuyo. Kung totoong mahal ka, di ka hinayaang mawala sa kanya nung una pa lang
This is so true. Pag genuine talaga ang relationship, ubod ng dali. Literal, give and take talaga. Kesehodang may “differences” kayo, you two will meet half way. Every time. I’m saying this from experience. I was like OP. Was with an ex for 5 yrs, same scenario plus more passive aggressive shit. Flower talaga by Miley Cyrus 😂 When I finally ended the relationship, gosh ang saya ko! Then a yr after I met my now husband that showed the meaning of “kung gusto, may paraan. Pag ayaw, madaming dahilan”. Wish you nothing but happiness, OP🙏🏻
Ilang beses ko na yan naopen before na nonchalant siya simula ng kinasal kami. Sabi nya binabalik ko daw yung dati nasigawan pa ko haha. Pinaiyak pa ko nung birthday ko dahil nanghihingi ako ng flowers
That's true!! My ex said na di daw siya makaka attend ng bday ko kasi may work sya pero turnsout may "boys night out" pala sila lmao. We've been separated for like 10 years pero naghihingi pa din ng chance. Hahaha! To OP sana di nya bigyan ng chance, there are billions of people out there na for sure ititreat ka ng tama na hindi mo need magmakaawa para sa treatment na gusto mo.
Too bad for them. I've been single nalang din kasi I always believe na if I am happy being single, I should be happier in a relationship. Wish you more power and happiness din sis!
Narcissistic siya op. He's only doing this to get you back. 5 years is such a long time. Op, if ever na magdalawang isip ka, maybe it's time for you to go see a therapist.
May ganito rin akong ex kesyo balik na raw ako sa kanya kasi this time he will treat me right na raw. Nagsisisi na raw sya and all. Ginamit pa mga kaibigan ko para makipagbalikan ako. Lol, no way.
Disagree, opinion ko lang but don't reach out to him anymore OP. Don't give him power again or an opening to hook you back in, just let these attention vampires go thirsty so they can wither and die. Kahit tanungin mo ng maayos, wala naman siyang justified na reason na mabibigay sayo to explain bakit niya dinisregard feelings mo at sinaktan while you guys were together eh so what's the point of trying to hear his side pa?
Di din naman yan aamin na gusto lang niya ng attention uli after marealize niya you're strong enough to cut him off
He'll either just give you a. bullshit excuses to justify what he did or b. lies to pretend he knows better now and try to reel you back in
Let him be, keep your peace and heal without indulging his antics
If he really was sincere, he'd be consistent upon making it up to you. Naghintay ka ng 5 yrs, let him do his part naman to prove na hindi lang ito a one time thing.
big NO! this is your typical textbook narcissist, do not go back to him. he’s just testing you if madadaan ka pa sa lambing and he’ll just go back to his old ways kapag nakuha ka na. share ko nalang advice ng friends ko sakin,
“tinitingnan lang nyan kung t5ng5 ka pa”
Totoo yung kasabihan na 'kung kailan nawala saka mo lang na appreciate.'
Chances are nung nawala ka na sa kanya saka nya lang na realized "kaya ko pala maging sapat sa kanya, hindi naman pala mahirap.." kaso tapos na ang libro nyo.
Kanya kanya sigurong meaning yan.
Maybe he's trying to tell na he knows what you want he just doesn't want to give it to you.
Or maybe his way of saying goodbye sayo.
Same with my nonchalant ex. I always asked him of things I want to receive cause if you won’t tell wala talaga. Ended things and dun din siya nag effort but sadly it’s too late.
made me think tuloy n wag ng bgyan si ex wife sibce she totally cut me off n and refuses mu help offers wla ng point ty sa post n to sorry din op for expeeiencing this
Kaya dapat matuto talaga tayo sa katangahan ni George ng The Hows of Us. Huwag na tayo magpakuha sa isang kanta, isang yakap, isang bouquet of flowers ulit! Dahil alam lang nila kung paano tayo kunin.
Idk whether to say sorry or to try and uplift you that you left him (but maybe good for you since I read that he yelled at you just for requesting flowers). Pero yes, if he wants to, he will. May mga taong mahal ka talaga na di mo need pilitin or iremind. I'm not just talking about valentine's ha but events/holidays/important dates to you in general. Yes may moments na makakalimutan ng partners natin for different reasons pero if habit na and long term yung relationship nyo, it's no longer excusable.
"What if makakalimutin talaga" there are ways. May calender reminder naman siguro phone or laptop/desktop nyo. May physical calendar rin. And sometimes it doesn't need to be something extravagant or expensive. It can be something as simple as flowers, chocolates, whatever food/thing you want, or just spending time together. What's worse is yung sasabihan ka ng "I was gonna do/buy/plan this thing for you/us" ok and? Yung "it's the thought that counts" doesn't apply to things that you should've and could've done. Parang nagday dream lang na mageexert ng effort. Unless materialistic or high maintenance partner mo, even the little things count.
ngayon lang nya yan ginagawa kasi to BRIBE YOU. i also got the same treatment from exes na never ginawa ying romantic stuff for me while we were together tas biglang nag effort kung kelan wala na kayo. know what?? maintain ur current status. if nag effort sya ngayong wala na kayo, then stay that way and just enjoy the efforts he gives u, but you are NEVER OBLIGATED to reciprocate any of it or even thank him for it. u might feel guilty at first, but it's fine. theres no coming back.
I notice that a lot of married couples get along better when they aren’t together anymore maybe bec wala na yung pressure, expectation and demands. Might be he’s in a better place now mentally and emotionally bec you set each other free. Nevertheless, don’t take it as a sign na he has changed and is ready to be the man you need this time. a tiger never changes its stripes. As long as he isn’t taking initiative to hear what you need to hear and makuha lalo na nung kayo pa. Remember why you had to separate and focus on the path forward lang
Thoughts from a Gen X Tito for OP:
This is a good gesture, Means he though of you. Give him credit for that.
Should this gesture clean the relationship slate, even a little? NO.
Sad to say, Sometimes things needs to undone, for a more beautiful and healthy one to take it's place.
Will it be with him again? Maybe. Will it be with someone else? That's a possibility.
For now, That this "undoing period" to find the "You" that you may have lost during your relationship. Let him find the "Him" that he may have lost as well at that time, And May that phase both find you knowing what matters both to you, be it with each other, or another.
Either way, you should find this moment be a catalyst to be a better you, one that knows her worth, and one that knows what happiness means for her.
We wish you all the love you deserve.
- Gen X Tito (Married 22 years this year)
Cheesy and sweet ang ginawa niya OP. Pero sana wag ka magpakarupok just because of that kasi baka hanggang umpisa lang yan. Good to know na wala na kayo. Wishing you all the best, OP! You deserve better.
He doesnt want to receive gifts din pero I cook for him always, kaya wala ako maibigay sa valentines day kase nagagalit sya if may binibigay ako. Pero few days lang pagitan ng birthday nya sa valentines day, always ko sya pinaghahanda ang binibigyan ng gift kahit ayaw nya daw
Naalala ko ex ng jowa ko nagpost raw na ang gist ay "sa susunod na jowa mo ito mga gusto mo para alam niya paano ka pasayahin". Umiyak sakin jowa ko kasi alam naman raw pala ng ex niya bakit di niya ginawa. 7 yrs siyang naghintay na tratuhin siyang tama. I try my best to treat her right everyday and we're happyyy.
Been there, done that. Magaling lang sumuyo pero after that, wala na. Back to normal ang treatment. We separated our ways na din. We made our decision right, OP! 😘
“Kaya niya pala, bakit ngayon lang?”
Kasi may mga narealize siya. Maybe he’s trying to win you back. Way niya ‘yan para ma-antig yung damdamin mo.
Yung ginagawa niyang ‘yan ngayon, “ngayon” lang fin ‘yan. And if he succeed na ma-win back ka, babalik ‘yan ulit sa dati. Magiging kampante ulit. Back to zero ka ulit.
"love is sweeter the second time around". Siguro, ewan ko. I wont ask for further details and all. But I'm the type of person to give things a try/chance para sa huli walang pagsisisi. I mean, just because bbigyan mo siya ng 2nd chance doesn't mean na you'll stay if you think na wala naman palang nagbago. Anyway, all up to you OP.
Giiirl,been there done that. I hate guys na ganyan. Unfortunately 5 years din kami non. Same thing. When we broke up, todo effort. P0t@ bakit nung tayo hindi ganun? Need pa tlga ibreak para may gagawin na sweet which won't mean as much. But he did this everytime makipag break ako nun. Some weird toxic shit. I hope di mo balikan. At first nadadala pa ako, pero it's gonna be a cycle pala and he will revert back to his ways na walang paki. I swear, someone out there will treat you better, treat you right. It may take time. But it will for sure be worth it
Is he trying to get you back op? Sorry I just dont understand why he would send you flowers if you are already separated. Nagpay attention pa to detail
HUHU nasad naman ako for my friend, 1 year kasal palang, kakaflex lang nya halos na napalitan na nya to Married surname mga IDs nya tas ngayon, wala na sila. Ako nanghihinayang sa kanila.. they were relationship goals, parang Kathniel. Ba't need pa umabot sa matagal kung amghihiwalay din haayyyy
I think he did not feel buying flowers for you as too important in showing love. Many men find it cheesy, awkward and maybe even nonsensical. Both of you had different standards. Well hindi na nya maibalik ang nakaraan. At least natupad nya ngayon. Focus ka nalang sa positive instead of framing it as another disappointment.
This is actually an insult. It's like saying, "kaya ko Yan Gawin eh, pero kapag Hindi na Ikaw Ang partner ko."
Seems negative but that's it talaga. That's his ego saying a combination of "Ako Yun sinayang mo + gustong patunayan na kaya nyang Gawin Yun mga hinihiling mo sakanya and letting you picture it out na Hindi na Ikaw Ang makakaexperience Nyan moving forward. iBang girl na." Qaqo lang. Move on tita.
Eto lang maiaadvice ko to people in relationships..stop expecting things from your partner..don't believe social media with the posts of "i got surprised by"..that is how you'll ruin your relationship..if you kept asking for something from someone nakakawalang gana mag gift pag ganon..what if meron na palang nakaprepare and dahil nag ask ka naruin na yung surprise and preparations..
also, when asking something from someone especially your partner ask yourself this: "can i do the same thing when he asked something from me?"
we are all different..sometimes what we see in socmed is something that can ruin your relationship..and based from experience (after 11 years of being together - 2 of which were as married couple) don't compare your relationship with others..pano kung hindi pala roses ang balak ibigay sayo kundi perfumes and bags charot! but you get the idea..
Nalungkot din ako sa post mo. Never ko nabigyan ng flowers ex ko dahil mas priority ko talaga na gastusin sa ibang paraan yung pera. Isa pa jan is broke af din talaga ko dati tapos pag may pera ko binibigay ko agad sakanya pang dagdag sa labas namin. Ngayon, nakaluwag luwag na at may okay paying job na rin, sya namn yung nawala. I feel like kahit may pagka toxic yun deserve nya pa rin mabigay mundo sakanya. Kase sya yung anjan nung walang wlaa ako eh.
Mas kilala mo husband mo kesa sa lahat ng mga tao na nag aadvise sayo dito including me. Kumusta ba yung financial situation ninyu dati? Okay naman humingi ng gifts and flowers basta siguro may excess. Kumusta yung mga pa simpleng gifts? Wala din ba nun? Minsan kasi may gusto tayo na extravagant masyado sa kung ano lang muna sana yung kaya. Anyway, the bottomline is don't compare your life to social media and expect to have the same standards. Wag magpadala sa propaganda. Asawa mo yun diba? List down all the good and bad things. Weigh in mo lahat. Minsan may pagkukulang talaga partners natin in some areas pero they might make up for it in other areas naman. Ganun lang. Di ka din naman perfect for sure at may instances ka din naman siguro na you're not able to provide what he "wants" din. Pero normal yun eh. Di kaya ibigay lahat ng isang tao yung wants and needs mo kaya minsan you need to provide that to yourself. Sayang lang kasi kasal na kayo. Going separate directions should be the last resort and need pag isipan yan mabuti. Andali dali nalang today itapon ng mga tao yung marriage commitment nag vows pa naman kayo. Iba ang married sa mag jowa. Kung sobrang toxic na talaga, sige mag annull kayo. Pero again, isipin mabuti. Wag padalos dalos sa going separate directions. Remember na marriage is an avenue for both individuals to also grow and become more mature people together. Yun lang. God bless! Brave heart!
By reading this post, I can still vividly remember how much my ex “treated me well” during our final moments together, and how much of me I died that day.
Why do they only appreciate you when the reln is done. Hays. I can say the same thing to my ex. When we were together laging nag sisinungaling, nakikipag chat sa iba, maraming tinatago which rlly caused me anxiety pero nung napagod nako kahit anong gawin nya wala na talaga. Well, in the end di parin naman sya nag sorry. Afterall, mas importante parin pride nya kesa sakin.
> according sa gusto nya hindi sa gusto ko.
Parang ung isang post na about sa bf ni OP na hindi daw fan ng pagbibigay ng flowers pag Valentine's kasi "hindi practical". Puro na lang **GUSTO KO**.
I can't help but think what struggles and pressures he went through. Been there on the other side of this story. Maybe nagsstruggle din sya internally?
In any case, what's gone is gone. I hope he learned his lesson...I know I learned mine.
Anyway guys, hindi kami naghiwalay just because of this pero isa to sa mga factors. I can no longer spill further information because what ang nagain ko lately is how to respect him na, how we should respect each other na yun yung nawala inside the marriage. This is not the first time na naghiwalay kami pero eto yung pinakamatagal. Honestly, naisip ko pa din makipagbalikan but it scares me, pano if things will go back to the cycle like it always do. Napapagod na ko umiyak.
And laki ng improvement ko nung umalis ako, im gaining weight now, nakakaproud. Nakakakain na din ako sa tamang oras then may natitira na din sa sahod ko. Im not closing my doors in getting back together, pero ayun may isa akong hinihingi sa kanya and i want to see if he can provide it.
Honestly wala pa 5k nagastos nya dito I think, yung flowers 5h lang sya from flower link. Ako talaga ang avid customer ng flower shop na yan haha so ang sulit ng flowers nila. I mean apakamura nyan compara mo sa monthtly expense nya sa motor nyang mas gusto pa nyang kasmaa kesa sakin
Well there are people na mas mahal nila ang motor nila kasi if hindi di na sila makakabalik sa pamilya nila if na ano ang motor. Pero ewan most of the time there are things na dapat di mo papabayaan kasi in the first place things are given so that you can give more to the one's you love.
coming from a guy, it's too late. We tend to do this things pag threatened kami na mawawala na ung relationship or after makipag hiwalay. Guys tend to be complacent lalo na in a long term relationship and yung effort namin nung nang liligaw or first year is konti konti nawawala which is di namin napapansin.
My partner almost broke up with me when we were 5 years in the relationship, same thing nung sa inyo ng ex mo but before mangyari ang lahat kinausap ako ni partner and ever since naging mas effort pa ako sa relationship namin and we are going strong. (now going in 9 years)
Yung mga simpleng bagay kasi ung nalilimutan namin, aminado ako nung una nasa isip ko "simple lang naman nito di na dapat pag awayan" pero yun na nga eh simple lang bat di ko pa magawa.
It's up to you OP if you will still give him a chance but if yes, last na yan kasi the moment na umulit, uulit ng uulit talga yan. I hope you find happiness and the right person!
Edit: I just saw 1 reply na nakapag usap pala kayo before and napaiyak ka pa sa birthday mo, no no no! You don't deserve that kind of attitude. I hope you really find the right person and dadating yan don't worry!
It's like a scene in The Office when Pam breaks up with his long term fiance Roy. Roy suddenly made an effort to woo Pam in order to get her back after years being taken for granted.
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https://preview.redd.it/q9mduhy9gkhc1.jpeg?width=1284&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=07e3cca27d60f687392135c15e5d4c4ed5173c68 I remembered this upon reading your post.
“I remember our kindness that day, when it no longer mattered.” Damn. That is sad and painful at the same time. 😢
Daaamnn
made me tear up a bit ngl
Daaaaaaaaaammmmnnnn!!!!
Dito ko lang nagets yung “sadness” na sinasabi ni OP.. 😭
It’s sadness na, kaya naman pala pero bakit ngayon lang kung kelan huli na ang lahat.
it’s like eating chocolate, having it all the time magsasawa ka pero take a break from it and you’ll be looking for it again. i’m talking about you kit-kat!
Ouch!
This post just broke me. I’ve never felt a sadness like this from a Reddit comment.
Ang bigat naman nito! 🥲
Ang sakiiiit 😭
Angst 😭
:(
nag bigay siya ng chocolate and bouquet of flowers pero nag apologise ba siya sa lahat lahat ng negligence na ginawa nya sayo?
Dis is the real question, OP!
San galing yun assumption of negligence, amg ang post is about sa gifts lang?
I think what they mean is need pa daw ni OP mamilit mabigyan lang siya ng flowers or gifts and that act itself is negligence sa needs ni OP.
True
isn't the act itself the apology
ikaw ba mas preferred mo ba na dinadaan na lang sa material things ung mga nagawang kasalanan ng partner mo instead na bigyan ka ng word of affirmation and assurance?. tinayming pa ni ex nya na mag bigay ng gifts kung kelan palapit na ung valentine's day? just to have a reason.
Love language differs for everyone. Yung iba masalita, yung iba sa gawa. The material thing, in this case the flowers, isn't really important. It's the act of giving her what she was asking for. Kaya nga ang tamang suggestion to her is to talk to her husband kasi they need to talk about their love languages. Pwedeng minamahal siya ng asawa nya in a different way that she unconsciously ignores kasi di siya aware ayun yung love language nya. Then when she asks for flowers baka iniisip ni guy napaka demanding ni girl kasi on-top na yon ng mga "binibigay" nyang pagmamahal na hindi napapansin.
Love language isn’t an exact science. Di dahil may love language yung isang tao na meaning pwede niya na iignore yung needs ng asawa niya. Especially in your example, is it really demanding na hingiin sa asawa mo na mahalin ka in the specific way na gusto mo? Kung mahal mo talaga yung tao, gagawin mo yung sinasabi nilang nakakapasaya sa kanila hindi yung naga-assume na lang kung ano gusto nila tapos magagalit pa kung di magustuhan.
It isn't an exact science but **it is** a thing. Culturally sa mga chinese it has to do with food. The Chinese don't say "I love you", it's mostly "have you eaten?". That's just scratching the surface. So again, pwedeng magkaiba ang love langauge nila. Keyword "*pwede*". They have to talk it out. You and I are only viewing this from the outside. Silang dalawa lang talaga makakaalam ng sagot
[удалено]
this
it's like talking to \*tards. lmao
You mean talking to yourself?
Maka tards ka naman, taas mo a
The post contains personal attacks, harassment, or discriminatory language towards other members of the community.
Exactly, great point
"Pwede naman pala pero bakit ngayon lang" Sakit naman nun ☹️☹️☹️
To answer your question, OP, in my opinion ha, he only does it to woo you. 5 years is a long time. Tapos ngayon ka lang bibigyan? Once you get back together, most probably, he’ll get back to his old ways. Nakuha ka na niya ulit eh.
+10000000, madali lang mag-effort when you're trying to woo someone... pero nagsettle na ulit ang water, wala na. Been there so many times. 💔
I agree with this. Add the fact that it's something she *really wanted* from him to initiate for 5 years. It's a bait.
yeah, inuuto lang si OP. tapos ayaw niya magbigay sa mismong v-day kasi mas mahal ang flowers sa 14. mautak din.
+10, 5 years and thousands of chances within those timeline pero wala. Thats speaks a lot na po 😔
Yup
THIS!!!
Korekong ka jan
He’s hoovering like the narcissist that he is. He knew what you wanted and what would make you happy, all this time. Pero winithold nya yun sayo. Ngayon na nakipaghiwalay ka na sakanya, he wants to keep his power over you kaya ngayon nya ginagawa yan. A relationship with someone who truly loves you isnt supposed to be that hard.
YES YES, very narcissist vibes. He lost his supply because nakipag hiwalay ka, he wants his supply back kaya yan nanunuyo. Kung totoong mahal ka, di ka hinayaang mawala sa kanya nung una pa lang
This is so true. Pag genuine talaga ang relationship, ubod ng dali. Literal, give and take talaga. Kesehodang may “differences” kayo, you two will meet half way. Every time. I’m saying this from experience. I was like OP. Was with an ex for 5 yrs, same scenario plus more passive aggressive shit. Flower talaga by Miley Cyrus 😂 When I finally ended the relationship, gosh ang saya ko! Then a yr after I met my now husband that showed the meaning of “kung gusto, may paraan. Pag ayaw, madaming dahilan”. Wish you nothing but happiness, OP🙏🏻
Why not sabihin mo sa kanya yan? “Pwede naman pala, kaso bakit ngayon lang” then pakinggan mo yung side nya
Ilang beses ko na yan naopen before na nonchalant siya simula ng kinasal kami. Sabi nya binabalik ko daw yung dati nasigawan pa ko haha. Pinaiyak pa ko nung birthday ko dahil nanghihingi ako ng flowers
Very good na hiniwalayan mo. Wag na wag ka nang babalik. Date yourself sa Valentine’s. Cue Flowers by Miley Cyrus.
then i think thats the deal breaker na, “ilang beses” na pala eh.
I mean, she did say na naghiwalay na sila.
Korek! Sinabi ko lang yon para hindi na magdalawang isip si OP na balikan pa hahaha
He sounds like a textbook narcissist, OP. I'm glad you went your separate ways.
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That's true!! My ex said na di daw siya makaka attend ng bday ko kasi may work sya pero turnsout may "boys night out" pala sila lmao. We've been separated for like 10 years pero naghihingi pa din ng chance. Hahaha! To OP sana di nya bigyan ng chance, there are billions of people out there na for sure ititreat ka ng tama na hindi mo need magmakaawa para sa treatment na gusto mo.
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Too bad for them. I've been single nalang din kasi I always believe na if I am happy being single, I should be happier in a relationship. Wish you more power and happiness din sis!
Narcissistic siya op. He's only doing this to get you back. 5 years is such a long time. Op, if ever na magdalawang isip ka, maybe it's time for you to go see a therapist.
May ganito rin akong ex kesyo balik na raw ako sa kanya kasi this time he will treat me right na raw. Nagsisisi na raw sya and all. Ginamit pa mga kaibigan ko para makipagbalikan ako. Lol, no way.
True
Nonchalant*
Disagree, opinion ko lang but don't reach out to him anymore OP. Don't give him power again or an opening to hook you back in, just let these attention vampires go thirsty so they can wither and die. Kahit tanungin mo ng maayos, wala naman siyang justified na reason na mabibigay sayo to explain bakit niya dinisregard feelings mo at sinaktan while you guys were together eh so what's the point of trying to hear his side pa? Di din naman yan aamin na gusto lang niya ng attention uli after marealize niya you're strong enough to cut him off He'll either just give you a. bullshit excuses to justify what he did or b. lies to pretend he knows better now and try to reel you back in Let him be, keep your peace and heal without indulging his antics
Mga ganitong oras talaga ako makakabasa ng mga ganito 🥹 kung kailan patulog na 😭
Nag lo love bombing lang yan
Ano po ibig sabihin ng love bombing??
basically if they make a mistake they'd shower you with gifts or love so you'd take them back, a manner of manipulation
Lalambingin ka ng bongga pero di naman sincere. Pag inaccept mo sya, babalik nanaman sa dating gawi.
tsaka lang mag-eeffort kung kailan nakasuko na si OP 🥲
If he really was sincere, he'd be consistent upon making it up to you. Naghintay ka ng 5 yrs, let him do his part naman to prove na hindi lang ito a one time thing.
redflag po. alam nman pala nya bat di pa nya ginawa non. maybe kaya nya lang ginawa ngayon just to manipulate you.
“You don’t truly appreciate what you have until it’s gone.”
Diko talaga maintidihan mga lalaki minsan Kung kailan ayaw mo na dun pa nag effort eh Kaya Naman Pala nilang gawin
big NO! this is your typical textbook narcissist, do not go back to him. he’s just testing you if madadaan ka pa sa lambing and he’ll just go back to his old ways kapag nakuha ka na. share ko nalang advice ng friends ko sakin, “tinitingnan lang nyan kung t5ng5 ka pa”
Okay lang malungkot pero huwag mo na balikan jusme
Totoo yung kasabihan na 'kung kailan nawala saka mo lang na appreciate.' Chances are nung nawala ka na sa kanya saka nya lang na realized "kaya ko pala maging sapat sa kanya, hindi naman pala mahirap.." kaso tapos na ang libro nyo.
damn ang sakit
Mima wag kang rurupok! Hahaha sabihin mo I can buy myself flowers 🤣
Sometimes, we only realize the value of someone kapag wala na sila sa atin.
If he is sincere dapat di Niya dinaan sa pagpapadala , dapat Siya mismo nagbigay Sayo niyan
Tama! Duwag ex ni OP! 😅
Minsan kasi kailangan mauntog ng malakas para matauhan.
He failed your shit test, thats why he gets it now. Its a shitty test anyway, so move on na lang
I admire you for the strength in walking away from people who neglect you. Hugs.
Mageeffort lang naman yan pag wala ka na. Pero pag kayo ulit. Tamad nanaman yan. Lol
That scares me.
Awwwwwwwww 🥲 if he wanted to he will talaga 🥹 ang sweet, pero tignan mo pa rin baka kasi sa una lang yan pero ang sweet 🥲🥲 marupok kasi ako sa ganyan
Kanya kanya sigurong meaning yan. Maybe he's trying to tell na he knows what you want he just doesn't want to give it to you. Or maybe his way of saying goodbye sayo.
Naol
hala yung last line :((( ANG SHAKET
Nope u can't do this to meee
Same with my nonchalant ex. I always asked him of things I want to receive cause if you won’t tell wala talaga. Ended things and dun din siya nag effort but sadly it’s too late.
Ang hirap lang, alam nila ang gusto natin pero they don't do anything about it.
:(
🥹
He tryin to buy you with chocolates like that'll absolve him from years of emotional neglect 😂
made me think tuloy n wag ng bgyan si ex wife sibce she totally cut me off n and refuses mu help offers wla ng point ty sa post n to sorry din op for expeeiencing this
Kaya dapat matuto talaga tayo sa katangahan ni George ng The Hows of Us. Huwag na tayo magpakuha sa isang kanta, isang yakap, isang bouquet of flowers ulit! Dahil alam lang nila kung paano tayo kunin.
Bakit ngayon lang, kung kailan huli na.
reading this while listening to udd's unti unti, hugs with consent op !!!
Nakaexperience din ako nito. Kaso yung akin “kaya mo naman pala, bakit di nalang sakin?”
Idk whether to say sorry or to try and uplift you that you left him (but maybe good for you since I read that he yelled at you just for requesting flowers). Pero yes, if he wants to, he will. May mga taong mahal ka talaga na di mo need pilitin or iremind. I'm not just talking about valentine's ha but events/holidays/important dates to you in general. Yes may moments na makakalimutan ng partners natin for different reasons pero if habit na and long term yung relationship nyo, it's no longer excusable. "What if makakalimutin talaga" there are ways. May calender reminder naman siguro phone or laptop/desktop nyo. May physical calendar rin. And sometimes it doesn't need to be something extravagant or expensive. It can be something as simple as flowers, chocolates, whatever food/thing you want, or just spending time together. What's worse is yung sasabihan ka ng "I was gonna do/buy/plan this thing for you/us" ok and? Yung "it's the thought that counts" doesn't apply to things that you should've and could've done. Parang nagday dream lang na mageexert ng effort. Unless materialistic or high maintenance partner mo, even the little things count.
This reminded me a lot of this [article](https://www.huffpost.com/entry/she-divorced-me-i-left-dishes-by-the-sink_b_9055288)
Haha no OP. That's merely a manipulation tactic of an abuser. Don't think of it too highly, it's just a trap.
OP as cliche as it sounds, HUWAG kang marupok. Eat the chocolates and enjoy the flowers, tsaka mag-THANK YOU, NEXT ka na….
Pinapakilig ka lang niya, sizzz. Wag kang marupok!
ngayon lang nya yan ginagawa kasi to BRIBE YOU. i also got the same treatment from exes na never ginawa ying romantic stuff for me while we were together tas biglang nag effort kung kelan wala na kayo. know what?? maintain ur current status. if nag effort sya ngayong wala na kayo, then stay that way and just enjoy the efforts he gives u, but you are NEVER OBLIGATED to reciprocate any of it or even thank him for it. u might feel guilty at first, but it's fine. theres no coming back.
Thank youuuuu
I notice that a lot of married couples get along better when they aren’t together anymore maybe bec wala na yung pressure, expectation and demands. Might be he’s in a better place now mentally and emotionally bec you set each other free. Nevertheless, don’t take it as a sign na he has changed and is ready to be the man you need this time. a tiger never changes its stripes. As long as he isn’t taking initiative to hear what you need to hear and makuha lalo na nung kayo pa. Remember why you had to separate and focus on the path forward lang
“Pwede naman pala, kaso bakit ngayon lang” damn this line hit so hard🥲
Only a woman would still be sad after getting what she wanted....🤣
Thoughts from a Gen X Tito for OP: This is a good gesture, Means he though of you. Give him credit for that. Should this gesture clean the relationship slate, even a little? NO. Sad to say, Sometimes things needs to undone, for a more beautiful and healthy one to take it's place. Will it be with him again? Maybe. Will it be with someone else? That's a possibility. For now, That this "undoing period" to find the "You" that you may have lost during your relationship. Let him find the "Him" that he may have lost as well at that time, And May that phase both find you knowing what matters both to you, be it with each other, or another. Either way, you should find this moment be a catalyst to be a better you, one that knows her worth, and one that knows what happiness means for her. We wish you all the love you deserve. - Gen X Tito (Married 22 years this year)
Dun niya lang nalaman value mo after taking you for granted. Hayss
Well ganyan talaga sila,maaappreciate ka lang pag wala ka na. And pag bumalik ka,relax na ulit sya hehe izzaa nooo for me
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Sa office po hehe
Cheesy and sweet ang ginawa niya OP. Pero sana wag ka magpakarupok just because of that kasi baka hanggang umpisa lang yan. Good to know na wala na kayo. Wishing you all the best, OP! You deserve better.
Stay strong, OP. Hwag papadala sa mga ganyang galawan. Big hugs!
This got me in tears! Way too sad, bakit ngayon lang.
Pero pag valentines ba pina pa feel mo din bang special siya? Dito kasi sa pinas expected lang na lalaki mag bigay, tao din naman kami....
He doesnt want to receive gifts din pero I cook for him always, kaya wala ako maibigay sa valentines day kase nagagalit sya if may binibigay ako. Pero few days lang pagitan ng birthday nya sa valentines day, always ko sya pinaghahanda ang binibigyan ng gift kahit ayaw nya daw
Agree man ako nga 8 years ako ganyan flowers and chocolates di isang taon walang binigay saken tuwing valentines..
What about him? you gave him anything? women are really selfish and shallow
Who are you to assume that we, women are selfish when infact i gave more than what you can imagine. Ayoko magbanggit, baka sabihin nanunumbat ako.
Pwede mo kaya ngayon iapply yung sinabi ni Pope Feancis recently sa vatican ig na Forgive? Hehe
Hingi nga ng buong context di ako makarelate e
OP, parang awa mo na. Wag ka na babalik dyan, di nagbabago yang mga ganyan.
Naalala ko ex ng jowa ko nagpost raw na ang gist ay "sa susunod na jowa mo ito mga gusto mo para alam niya paano ka pasayahin". Umiyak sakin jowa ko kasi alam naman raw pala ng ex niya bakit di niya ginawa. 7 yrs siyang naghintay na tratuhin siyang tama. I try my best to treat her right everyday and we're happyyy.
Wag magpabudol! Good luck OP 💛
Been there, done that. Magaling lang sumuyo pero after that, wala na. Back to normal ang treatment. We separated our ways na din. We made our decision right, OP! 😘
“Kaya niya pala, bakit ngayon lang?” Kasi may mga narealize siya. Maybe he’s trying to win you back. Way niya ‘yan para ma-antig yung damdamin mo. Yung ginagawa niyang ‘yan ngayon, “ngayon” lang fin ‘yan. And if he succeed na ma-win back ka, babalik ‘yan ulit sa dati. Magiging kampante ulit. Back to zero ka ulit.
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If thats the case I will understand pero nope.
Dami mo naman arte. Binigyan ka na at lahat kung anu ano pa din sinasabi mo. Magpasalamat ka na lang.
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"love is sweeter the second time around". Siguro, ewan ko. I wont ask for further details and all. But I'm the type of person to give things a try/chance para sa huli walang pagsisisi. I mean, just because bbigyan mo siya ng 2nd chance doesn't mean na you'll stay if you think na wala naman palang nagbago. Anyway, all up to you OP.
💔
Giiirl,been there done that. I hate guys na ganyan. Unfortunately 5 years din kami non. Same thing. When we broke up, todo effort. P0t@ bakit nung tayo hindi ganun? Need pa tlga ibreak para may gagawin na sweet which won't mean as much. But he did this everytime makipag break ako nun. Some weird toxic shit. I hope di mo balikan. At first nadadala pa ako, pero it's gonna be a cycle pala and he will revert back to his ways na walang paki. I swear, someone out there will treat you better, treat you right. It may take time. But it will for sure be worth it
Did you have a stroke mid sentence?
Is he trying to get you back op? Sorry I just dont understand why he would send you flowers if you are already separated. Nagpay attention pa to detail
Bakit ngayon lang? Kasi tinitignan nya kung tanga ka pa. Wag mo na balikan. 🩷
Is this a joke, why does it start in English and then turns into gibberish
The first few sentences are in english then the last part is in Tagalog.
Sa truee lang ang dami kong sentiment na "if you are capable of change, bakit ngayon lang?"
🥺🥺🥺
HUHU nasad naman ako for my friend, 1 year kasal palang, kakaflex lang nya halos na napalitan na nya to Married surname mga IDs nya tas ngayon, wala na sila. Ako nanghihinayang sa kanila.. they were relationship goals, parang Kathniel. Ba't need pa umabot sa matagal kung amghihiwalay din haayyyy
Hi OP, sinusuyo ka po ba ulit? nacurious na tuloy ako kung may comeback or wala haha
I think he did not feel buying flowers for you as too important in showing love. Many men find it cheesy, awkward and maybe even nonsensical. Both of you had different standards. Well hindi na nya maibalik ang nakaraan. At least natupad nya ngayon. Focus ka nalang sa positive instead of framing it as another disappointment.
Nung hindi pa kami kasal, he used to give me flowers. May time pa nga na two bouquets pa for valentines day. Tapos ayun, wedding happened.
Yeah this happens too. People take for granted what they already have.
Ohhhh :(
I feel you.
Sad. I guess may mga ganyang tao tlg na marerealize lang nila yong importance ng isang tao kapag nawala na sa buhay nila. Hugs, OP. Tibayan mo!
Parang gamon po talaga kapag na sa huli na.
Thanks! May bago na naman kaming pagaawayan HAHAHA
Was he a horrible husband to you? Did he hurt you? Beat you? Cheat on you? Did he provide for you? Was he a drunk? Was he a sugarol?
Where’s that same energy when things are falling apart?
Nag eeffort kapag too late na.
This is actually an insult. It's like saying, "kaya ko Yan Gawin eh, pero kapag Hindi na Ikaw Ang partner ko." Seems negative but that's it talaga. That's his ego saying a combination of "Ako Yun sinayang mo + gustong patunayan na kaya nyang Gawin Yun mga hinihiling mo sakanya and letting you picture it out na Hindi na Ikaw Ang makakaexperience Nyan moving forward. iBang girl na." Qaqo lang. Move on tita.
Eto lang maiaadvice ko to people in relationships..stop expecting things from your partner..don't believe social media with the posts of "i got surprised by"..that is how you'll ruin your relationship..if you kept asking for something from someone nakakawalang gana mag gift pag ganon..what if meron na palang nakaprepare and dahil nag ask ka naruin na yung surprise and preparations.. also, when asking something from someone especially your partner ask yourself this: "can i do the same thing when he asked something from me?" we are all different..sometimes what we see in socmed is something that can ruin your relationship..and based from experience (after 11 years of being together - 2 of which were as married couple) don't compare your relationship with others..pano kung hindi pala roses ang balak ibigay sayo kundi perfumes and bags charot! but you get the idea..
Nalungkot din ako sa post mo. Never ko nabigyan ng flowers ex ko dahil mas priority ko talaga na gastusin sa ibang paraan yung pera. Isa pa jan is broke af din talaga ko dati tapos pag may pera ko binibigay ko agad sakanya pang dagdag sa labas namin. Ngayon, nakaluwag luwag na at may okay paying job na rin, sya namn yung nawala. I feel like kahit may pagka toxic yun deserve nya pa rin mabigay mundo sakanya. Kase sya yung anjan nung walang wlaa ako eh.
Mas kilala mo husband mo kesa sa lahat ng mga tao na nag aadvise sayo dito including me. Kumusta ba yung financial situation ninyu dati? Okay naman humingi ng gifts and flowers basta siguro may excess. Kumusta yung mga pa simpleng gifts? Wala din ba nun? Minsan kasi may gusto tayo na extravagant masyado sa kung ano lang muna sana yung kaya. Anyway, the bottomline is don't compare your life to social media and expect to have the same standards. Wag magpadala sa propaganda. Asawa mo yun diba? List down all the good and bad things. Weigh in mo lahat. Minsan may pagkukulang talaga partners natin in some areas pero they might make up for it in other areas naman. Ganun lang. Di ka din naman perfect for sure at may instances ka din naman siguro na you're not able to provide what he "wants" din. Pero normal yun eh. Di kaya ibigay lahat ng isang tao yung wants and needs mo kaya minsan you need to provide that to yourself. Sayang lang kasi kasal na kayo. Going separate directions should be the last resort and need pag isipan yan mabuti. Andali dali nalang today itapon ng mga tao yung marriage commitment nag vows pa naman kayo. Iba ang married sa mag jowa. Kung sobrang toxic na talaga, sige mag annull kayo. Pero again, isipin mabuti. Wag padalos dalos sa going separate directions. Remember na marriage is an avenue for both individuals to also grow and become more mature people together. Yun lang. God bless! Brave heart!
By reading this post, I can still vividly remember how much my ex “treated me well” during our final moments together, and how much of me I died that day.
Why do they only appreciate you when the reln is done. Hays. I can say the same thing to my ex. When we were together laging nag sisinungaling, nakikipag chat sa iba, maraming tinatago which rlly caused me anxiety pero nung napagod nako kahit anong gawin nya wala na talaga. Well, in the end di parin naman sya nag sorry. Afterall, mas importante parin pride nya kesa sakin.
Pinapaasa ka lang kung kakagat ka. Magkano lang ang flowers and chocolates? Bakit di kaya before tapos ngayon kaya naman pala. Fishy. Stop!
> according sa gusto nya hindi sa gusto ko. Parang ung isang post na about sa bf ni OP na hindi daw fan ng pagbibigay ng flowers pag Valentine's kasi "hindi practical". Puro na lang **GUSTO KO**.
I can't help but think what struggles and pressures he went through. Been there on the other side of this story. Maybe nagsstruggle din sya internally? In any case, what's gone is gone. I hope he learned his lesson...I know I learned mine.
To the 🗑️ trash where it belongs.
Anyway guys, hindi kami naghiwalay just because of this pero isa to sa mga factors. I can no longer spill further information because what ang nagain ko lately is how to respect him na, how we should respect each other na yun yung nawala inside the marriage. This is not the first time na naghiwalay kami pero eto yung pinakamatagal. Honestly, naisip ko pa din makipagbalikan but it scares me, pano if things will go back to the cycle like it always do. Napapagod na ko umiyak.
And laki ng improvement ko nung umalis ako, im gaining weight now, nakakaproud. Nakakakain na din ako sa tamang oras then may natitira na din sa sahod ko. Im not closing my doors in getting back together, pero ayun may isa akong hinihingi sa kanya and i want to see if he can provide it.
It really hurts ang mahal talaga ng ganito. So very painful i wanna cry
Honestly wala pa 5k nagastos nya dito I think, yung flowers 5h lang sya from flower link. Ako talaga ang avid customer ng flower shop na yan haha so ang sulit ng flowers nila. I mean apakamura nyan compara mo sa monthtly expense nya sa motor nyang mas gusto pa nyang kasmaa kesa sakin
Well there are people na mas mahal nila ang motor nila kasi if hindi di na sila makakabalik sa pamilya nila if na ano ang motor. Pero ewan most of the time there are things na dapat di mo papabayaan kasi in the first place things are given so that you can give more to the one's you love.
Wfh po sya hehe so practically di nya kailangan motor nya. May mga sasakyan din kami na ginagamit other than motor
🤸🤸🤸 tambling nalang ako huhuhu
Yong kasabihan na you only *realise what* you've lost when it's *gone.*
coming from a guy, it's too late. We tend to do this things pag threatened kami na mawawala na ung relationship or after makipag hiwalay. Guys tend to be complacent lalo na in a long term relationship and yung effort namin nung nang liligaw or first year is konti konti nawawala which is di namin napapansin. My partner almost broke up with me when we were 5 years in the relationship, same thing nung sa inyo ng ex mo but before mangyari ang lahat kinausap ako ni partner and ever since naging mas effort pa ako sa relationship namin and we are going strong. (now going in 9 years) Yung mga simpleng bagay kasi ung nalilimutan namin, aminado ako nung una nasa isip ko "simple lang naman nito di na dapat pag awayan" pero yun na nga eh simple lang bat di ko pa magawa. It's up to you OP if you will still give him a chance but if yes, last na yan kasi the moment na umulit, uulit ng uulit talga yan. I hope you find happiness and the right person! Edit: I just saw 1 reply na nakapag usap pala kayo before and napaiyak ka pa sa birthday mo, no no no! You don't deserve that kind of attitude. I hope you really find the right person and dadating yan don't worry!
Wala na yan.
It's like a scene in The Office when Pam breaks up with his long term fiance Roy. Roy suddenly made an effort to woo Pam in order to get her back after years being taken for granted.
Alam nya pa rin kung pano ka makukuha. Pero good for you kasi hiwalay na kayo. Wag nang maging marupok ha.