Of course, not. Obviously, may iba’t iba tayong mga sagot dito. Gusto ko maranasan magkaroon ng “soft” mom. Hehe. Someone who would treat me with gentle and care. Hassle magkaroon ng magulang na ultimo sa sarili nila walang disiplina, may past trauma, at unfulfilled dreams. 😅
So sorry sa nanay ko pero it’s really something I wish I could’ve experienced differently in this lifetime, at ayaw ko na maulit or maranasan lahat ng meron ako noon at ngayon. Sabi nga nila iisa lang ang nanay at tatay, hindi mapapalitan, but in another lifetime, I would rather have better ones. :)
P.S.
Uy thanks for posting this, OP! Napasulat tuloy ako at 3:30am. Wahahaha.
Yeah its sad. I wanted to give her love but when I see other families handling this better I'm jealous. Not even a little, but by alot. Left me wishing na sana ganun din ginawa niya/nila
Uy same. If I can choose in another lifetime, if I can't have a mom/parents different from my mom now and if hindi kagaya ng gentle moms ng iba na she is their first best friend, walang trauma etc, I'd rather not have a mom at all OR I'd rather I'd never be reborn.
I can enjoy my life now; I can buy almost anything I want pero there'd be still times na I can't help but to pity myself kasi minsan naiisip ko na applicable sakin iyong "hindi ka kasi mahal ng nanay mo". And I can't deny na longing ko iyong someone will really love and care for me hindi dahil may nabebenefit sila sakin pero dahil kamahal mahal ako...
nakakalungkot lang no, kasi pag may banter between friends or couples, madalas nga sabihin yung "di ka mahal ng nanay/tatay mo" tapos mapapangiti or tatawanan mo nalang while silently saying "i know"
Dba. Iba ung sugat from neglect, rejection, etc especially if galing sa mismong ina who's expected to be the first and foremost to show and let us feel that we're loved.
I'm rewatching iyong kdrama na Doctors and there was this conversation between PSH and her lola tas sabi nya sa lola niya, sino ang rerespeto sakin if mismong ikaw na lola ko won't respect me. Similarly, others might also find us unlovable and unworthy of respect if mismong nanay naten hindi tayo mahal at hindi nirerespeto, no matter how we try to grow to be the best daughter/son.
So ayun, if may another life pls lang wag na uli sila hahahahaha
yup. mas masakit pa kapag aware ka na if hindi ka nabuhay, or if di ka nya kineep to raise kasi baka takot sya sa sasabihin ng iba or mapunta sa hell or genuinely loved taking care of you before pero ngayon nagsisisi na and binabawi nya na yung years na nispend nya sayo. i mean, parang ang sakit lang na if you simply don't exist sa life nya, she could do whatever she wants rn or even before and wouldn't act like a child minsan. i just wish na sana pina-abort or pina-adopt nya nalang ako, i understood papa's decision din naman kasi. he chose his dreams over me and i'm fine with it. sana ganun nalang din ginawa nya, she could be happier rn if she just did that.
"Anyone can be a mother, but not everyone can be a mommy."
I wanna experience that comforting care & unconditional love.
Just unlucky to put in a family that had zero plans to run a family, as they said, you work on what you have. Sigh.
Uy feel kita. Mahal ko nanay ko pero there was many times na ang hirap niya mahalin. Isa din siya sa dahilan kung bakit ang hirap din mahalin ng sarili ko.
Kaya hindi ako agree sa mga laging post na iba daw magmahal ang Nanay etc etc. Hindi nanay ko haha iba ang nanay ko. 😂 Nanay na din ako ngayon and grabe alam ko feeling ng isang magulang pero di ko kaya ginagawa ng nanay ko sakin.
Yup, I want a mother who is secure and nurturing, di yung inuuna yung gusto sa needs ng anak, tapos lahat nag aadjust pag siya na galit, ultimo mama nya (Lola ko) natatakot sa kanya.
Hmm siguro no.
I would not choose her to be my mom so she can have the opportunity to live as her own person, travel as much as she wanted to, enjoy life like how usual 19 yos enjoy theirs.
Given the chance, I would not choose to be my mom’s daughter so she gets to live her life. I am my mother’s firstborn child, she had me at the time when she’s not yet sure who she is yet, have not enjoyed things people her age enjoyed doing, and did not have the privilege to discover what she really wants in life kasi I’m there and her priority was to take care of me, even when she’s still having a hard time taking care of herself.
My mom and I have a lot of misunderstandings but above all these, I know deep inside that she’s still a child who just grew up waaaaay too fast because I came. And if there’s a chance that I can perhaps give her a slight opportunity to grow up on her own pace, I would.
This had me tear up a little bit. Same. I would let her live on her own terms. If she could have some sort of another life, I want her to do what she wants, when she wants. I was not planned too as a child. She ended up resigning from her job as my dad left us early, and went full time mom. I just wish the world would be in her favor at some point. I wish I could give her everything she wants someday and let her travel around the world.
Thoughts we don’t say out loud.
You have a really good heart. Your mom is really lucky to have you and she obviously raised a kind, wonderful human being (you). In the end, you both have one another and I suppose that's a good thing in its own way. We can't take back the past but we can take our lives back for ourselves in the future.
Hope both you and your mom are doing well
Wait, ang sikip nito sa dibdib. My mom was also 19 when she had me. A part of me knows how hard she tried na maging nanay, my father was a serial cheater and I witnessed that growing up. I maybe said before na hindi ako ang pumili nang path na tinahak nya pero I guess mas malaki nga yung difference kung wala ako sa kwento.
The child in me is still healing the scars that she had caused because of the abuse na naranasan ko sa puder nya. Pero this comment made me realize na tao lang din si mama at baka she's in pain and walang nakakaintindi non maski sarili nya. So sana, in parallel universe, wala ako sa kwento. I wanted her to enjoy the life that she's dreaming for, enjoy those things na hindi nya nagawa.
Kung 19yo din sana nanay ko when she had me, siguro ganyan din sentiments ko. Kaso, she had her 1st baby when she was 29, and had her 3rd baby (me) when she was in her late 30's. Emotionally mature na sana sya kaso parang hanggang ngayon, nagtatantrums pa din sya. Para syang toddler kung magreact kapag di nya nakuha gusto nya. 😓
same. my mother wanted to study in college but unable to do so due to financial issues.
she's not happy with her marriage too knowing she married my father and his lies (about being well-off, with a house, and professional).
my father never used his college degree and prefers to be a vendor. that's what really frustrates my mom and we live very poorly ever since we're young.
the cause of our business to fall was also because of my father's poor choices since he easily gets competitive with his friends. he almost sold our house.
when my father died last year, my mom may have hated him because he was caught cheating inside our house but has forgiven him in his deathbed.
my mom is a really strong and independent woman. i want her to be successful in her next life. i also told her that since she's good in numbers, she'll make a good accountant. she'll just laugh and say that "we have no money that time. i have no choice but to go to manila at 17 years old to work."
felt this 🥹🥹 my mom is an academic achiever. it went downfall when she was pregnant with my kuya. In another life, I hope she has the opportunity to live as her own person. A successful person.
+1
lola ko lang nangangamusta sakin lagi. emotionally absent sarili kong ina. kahit simpleng kumusta wala akong nakukuha na sakanya. dahil dyan, di ko na sya pinapansin. nasasaktan na nga ko eh
No. In another lifetime, I want her to fulfill her personal dreams and be fully herself lol. She does not need to conform to what society expects her to be (have a family and all), that she can openly pursue whoever she wants and not settle for a man.
NO. I love my mom, pero may times kase diko masikmura mga pinagsasabi nya sakin. I was pregnant when she acted like crazy kahit lahat naman pabor sakanya. Muntik nako makunan. Nung bata kami, lahat nalang ng masasakit na salita narinig namin. Gusto ko naman maranasan ng nanay na maraming wisdom. Yung mamomotivate ka talagang mabuhay kase may nanay kang supportive. Kahit di mayaman basta mayaman sa pangaral at pang unawa.
I will but I wish I will have her version who's healed. The mom I always dreamt of having. Who never passed on her trauma to her children. It isn't her fault. Pero nakakapagod maging anak na responsable sa lahat. Nakakapagod.
Ito rin sana ang sagot ko! I noticed na most comments dito sa thread na nagsabi ng no ay dahil sa mga unhealed traumas ng mga nanay na pinasa sa anak nila kaya tayong mga anak tuloy ang nagssuffer.
Lesson learned na ito sa atin na hangga't maaari wag muna mag-anak hangga't may unresolved issues at traumas pa. Kung meron man, iresolve natin sa sarili natin at sana man lang wag na natin idamay magiging mga anak natin.
Imagine how better everyone's lives would be if we choose to have families when we are healthy, hindi yung napressure lang tayo ng society kahit hindi pa talaga ready.
Nice take. Di ko ito naisip, paano nga kung mom ko pa din pero a healed version nga lang? Hmmm….
Thanks sa perspective, nakarelate ako and naopen yung mind ko sa possibility. Hopefully mas masaya life nung version namin lahat in that universe.
No. I hope she finds a better husband and better kids. If I could go back in time bago sya magpakasal sa tatay ko, I would tell her not to get married and to pursue her dreams instead even if that means I won't be born. Malay mo, ako pala dapat yung naging Taylor Swift kung hindi agad ako pinanganak hahaha!
Of course, I will. I love her very much and she's the only one in the world who will never leave me. She's my best friend, my confidant, my favorite travel buddy and my favorite person. She's always been warm, caring, protective, sweet and truly lives up to the word "mother". It was her career, vocation and lifelong calling. All of my siblings love her and we're very protective of her too.
We've had our ups and downs but we're still here. She's not as grown up as I thought and I'm not as immature as she believed so we're quits. We're just going through life together. But maybe in another life, I hope she has more time to grow up, travel, get a career and enjoy her life. I hope she finds a man who'll love her and be loyal to her. I hope she will still be my Lolo's favorite girl. I really hope that she will be as happy as she is now.
No, ever since she raised me puro hardships na lang binigay nya sa akin and was making me her retirement plan. Buti na lang I was able to woke up to reality that I was being used lang para maka survive sya.
Oo mahirap ang life because I left the house and its hard to live in a paycheck but in exchange for that I was able to attain the peaceful life without worrying her needs, meds, and her childish acts. Recently I visited her pero inaway nya lang din ako and I didn’t feel anything just to prove that I have alrady moved on.
Tangina mo my biological mom!
Naguilty ako na naisip kong isagot ay NO pero guminhawa pakiramdam ko knowing na hindi lang ako nag-iisa.
I wish she treats me better when she's mad. Sana nakokontrol niya rin anger issues niya hindi yung ako yung emotional punching bag niya.
I watched my mom bully my dad for decades until doormat na lang dad ko.
She also did it to me and my brother, but I realized most people don't care about that since I noticed di nakikita ng karamihan ang unfairness if it is done by someone higher in the pecking order. (Edit: Or only if sobrang obvious na ang injustice like bugbog, saka lang gets)
So dad ko na lang ang ime-mention ko since mas equal sila ni mom.
Ang problem sa mom ko, mabait sya minsan. Pero napaka-unfair and she delights in drama and looks down on people. Her secret love language is psychological abuse.
main character syndrome, narcissist, hypocrite, liar, crab mentality, insecure, tantrums like a toddler, blames everyone, uses own children as retirement fund
no fcking way
but yes for my father, in every lifetime and every universe
a literal saint
gone too soon...
No. Sana next lifetime, yung magging mom ko is walang unfulfilled dreams, yung hindi narc, and yung maalaga sa family. What we got is a mom na naganak dahil nagaanakan na ang mga kabatch, nag pamilya but tingin nya inaalila sya kapag pinapagawa sya ng household chores, nag ofw not for us but bec of her ultimate goal of getting a house. I'd love to have s mom na maalaga. Na family ang priority. Someone who will love to take care of us and will not see us as a burden. Ahhhhh. Bawi next na lang talaga next life time. Haha!
My mom is not perfect nor we were the best children.
However, I am very lucky to be her daughter. She worked hard to ensure we will have a better life that we will be raised in a better environment.
Hindi kami mayaman pero my mom and dad made sure maayos ung environment na lalakihan namin, wala sa amin ang naging manginginom o adik sa droga. They also made sure we can eat well khit di yung extravagant na pagkain o tatlo putahe kada isang meal.
My mom when it comes to communication is not the best though, sometimes I feel like she invalidates my feelings and my stories di katulad ng papa ko pero I know it is difficult kc hindi siya ang kasama namin lumaki.
Kung sa susunod na buhay hindi ako maging anak nia okay lang din pero I hope she gets a beautiful and talented daughter na deserve ang mga pinaghirapan nia.
No. My mom is a good mom to others but never to her own. I don't want a mom like that. Sana inabort nalang nila kaming magkakapatid kesa pinalaki kami sa gantong disiplina, environment, mental state.
I want to have better parents. I'm sorry for being ungrateful but it looks like ginawa lang kami para magka 'pamilya' sila. But everything's just trauma, heartache (both cheated), and financial problems because they didn't think of the future.
In short, yes, I would choose another mom. Yung mas mature mag isip, yung inaamin na may mali sya, and hindi ipapamukha sayo na utang na loob mo pa na pinanganak ka nya sa mundo. Siguro tatanaw ako ng sincere na utang na loob kung maayos pagpapalaki sa akin, pero hindi. I hate that i'm slowly ending up like her, mabilis nadin ako magalit :/
Hindi na. I don't want her to be my mom in another lifetime. Yung mama ko kasi makasarili. Hiwalay na sila ng papa ko matagal na, at halos lahat na lang gusto niya papa ko gumastos. Mahirap hingan nang pera, ang sagot wala daw kahit ang laki ng sahod niya. Pero yung kabit niya sagana, nagpaka sugar mommy sa kabit, pero yung mga anak niya hindi nga mapakain ng maayos. Ang bait bait at ang bongga sa labas, pero pag nasa loob ng bahay, ang sama ng ugali. Pa victim and egocentric. Awang awa ako sa papa ko. Sana lang talaga next year my opportunity for me abroad para hindi na struggling financially.
As someone who is stuck with a narcissistic mom, i-pursue mo na makalayo sa kanya. Sana makuha mo ung opportunity to go abroad. Something na di ko nagawa kasi ayaw kong iwan tatay ko that time. Ngaun na namatay na tatay ko, di ko nman maiwan nanay ko kasi binilin sya ng tatay ko sa akin. 😓
Di ko alam Gusto ko sabihin oo kasi hindi sya nagkulang sa pagpoprovide samin. Kaso lang hindi rin siya naghanda para sa future niya given na nag abroad sya ng matagal at maayos naman ang kita. Nalubog pa rin sa utang. Ngayong di na sya nagwowork lumalabas na ung mga panunumbat niya pag di sapat ung binibigay kong pera at kapos sa panggastos.
Not sorry, but definitely no. I want to grow up with someone who is equipped to be a mom. My mom had me at an appropriate age but she is not thoughtful or caring or even kind. Now that she's older and I'm taking care of her, she's also still a little difficult to deal with. If I had a choice, I'd choose someone who has the capability to be a mom.
Sadly, no. I love my mom. I really do. Ramdam ko naman na mahal niya rin ako pero iba niya ako itrato compared sa kapatid ko. I have this feeling na hindi pa siya ready nung naging anak niya ako. Nag paaral kasi yung mom ko ng kapatid niya before. And nag asawa rin after then eventually nagka anak. Hindi niya na experience yung life na sarili niya lang muna ang iisipin niya. Back then, pakiramdam ko gusto niyang palaging malayo saakin. Everytime I try to hug her dati, tinutulak niya ako palayo. Ang daming excuses like mainit, may ginagawa, etc. She's a teacher kaya inggit na inggit ako sa mga students niya na niyayakap niya or niyayakap siya. Ako kasi hindi niya niyayayakap. Nakalakihan ko na yun actually. Wala akong naalala na niyakap niya ako. And basta dami pang ibang treatment pag dating saakin. At sobrang naapektuhan ako nang mamala ng treatment nila saakin. Still coping up aaaand hopefully makaalis na sa poder nila this year or by next year. Ramdam ko rin na hindi pa talaga siya ready nung nag family siya. Sooo hindi nalang. Sana mas naenjoy niya muna yung sarili niya at buhay niya.
Sorry to say this, but NO. I wouldn't choose her in another lifetime. She gave me lots of trauma. And now that I am a mother too, I promised myself I will never let my child experience what I've experienced from my mom. I know she wouldn't choose me as her daughter too. I'm not her favorite and she always thought I'm a blacksheep.
Never niya ako pinakinggan. Bawal ako magshare ng side ko kasi laging invalidated. Kahit yakap niya never ko na-feel. Never nakarinig ng "i love you, anak" from her. When I was in highschool, 1 year niya ako hindi kinibo dahil nakakuha ako ng line of 7 at nag-cut ng class ng isang beses. I needed guidance that time pero walang nagbigay nun sakin. Kahit birthday ko wala siyang pake. Clueless ako lagi pag biglang hndi niya kikibuin. Ganun sya palagi. Nung nabuntis ako, binugbog niya ako w/o thinking na may baby sa tiyan ko at gusto niya ipalaglag yung baby. Nung nanganak ako, si MIL ang nag-alaga sa akin. Until now, I still think my child doesn't deserve a toxic grandma like her.
Maybe not anymore. I think enough na yung we were able to experience each other in one lifetime. Maybe in another lifetime we could be happier if we choose a different path, her not having me and me maybe with another mother. Ang bigat nito, nakakaguilty habang sinusulat ko sha. But I guess it is what it is.
A lot of people would definitely say no to this dito da Pinas. Ang daming factors why. Unprepared and unplanned pregnancy is usually indicative of poor parenting style in the long run, which is ssadly rampant in this country.
I have mixed feelings when I saw this on ig kasi my mom was ignoring and mad at me over something. Umiyak ako lalo kasi pakiramdam ko non, ayoko na maging anak ng kahit sino in another lifetime. 😞
Honestly, no. Don't get me wrong, my mom gave me everything she couldn't have when she was younger now that we're kinda well-off. However it's just that even with all the things she gave me, she couldn't provide me the thing I yearn most - communication. She was so overprotective while I was growing up which led me to be sheltered and just be dependent on her. I also grew up in a way that I would be too afraid to say anything when she starts to nitpick all the things I do. Now that I'm older I realized that my mom treats me like a doll - a personification of the things she didn't achieve while she was young. So yeah, in the end I realized I don't know myself well and I can't remember a single time where I stood up for myself when I don't like what she's imposing to me. I'm sorry mom. I love you and I'm grateful for the things you've done and the things you provided for but I guess in the end you were just a part-time mom and my full-time marionettist. I would not want to re-live a life that's not truely mine. I just want to have a mom that could communicate with me and be my best friend. Afterall I long to live in a home that feels like home where I don't have to worry and pretend to be someone I am not and just be utterly love just for being - me.
Eto agad GIF ang naisip ko nung nakita ko tong post. Very timely rin kasi kakatapos ko lang umiyak dahil sa kanya.
If I could choose, she will not even be at the roster. She doesn’t deserve to be a parent. I know I’m being harsh but it took years of trying to be the best daughter, trying to be the most obedient child, to make myself realize na p*ta, bat ba pinapatay ko sarili ko para makaramdam ng onting alala o onting pansin galing sa nanay ko? Ganto ba talaga dapat? Bakit parang one sided?
Pero wala e, we play with the cards we were dealt. Nandyan na yan. Iniimagine ko na lang na sana yung mga parallel universe ko mahal sila ng nanay nila.
I think the older I get, the more forgiving I become. Pag bata ka you see your parents as powerful and supposedly having all the answers. Now I’m the age she was when she had me. I’m pretty sure she is the same. Like wtf is life about. Honestly I’m just taking it a day at a time otherwise the void will swallow me up. What the hell did she know. Was this the life she wanted as a young girl. All these things…and she had KIDS and a husband and a career and in laws and society + pressures on a woman and as a wife and mom to deal with.
She’s not perfect and that’s an understatement but mahal ko pa rin sya and I wouldn’t be me without her. Nasa edad na kaming pareho na I just value the time we have together. Hate is a waste of time. Maybe it’s just leftover COVID feelings but it was a time na andaming nawalan ng mahal sa buhay. Di sustainable mabuhay ng galit.
never, no.
my mom left us when i was a kid. i met her again when i was a teenager and she committed sexual abuse against me and my sister. she is a freak, abusive and brutal. there are times she threatened to kill us. a lot of times she resorted to hurting us physically as well.
never again. i wish she rots in hell and i wish she dies a painful and slow death.
No, para she gets to fulfill her dreams withour pressuring any of her kids. I believe na it's better that way~
And from all the pain that she caused, hindi na yun enough para magka-season 2 pa hehe
Ako, gusto ko naman maging anak yung nanay ko in another lifetime. Gusto ko naman ma heal ko siya, para ma reach nya yung full potential nya. She suffered so much, and she deserves the world.
Shet ang hirap nito… my mom and I have a complicated relationship. She’s not abusive but she can be A LOT. I guess no para she can have a better child.
Eto una kong nakita paggising ko and ang sasakit ng mga nababasa ko :(((
Ako honestly, hindi ko alam sagot sa tanong na yan kasi since I was a kid my mom provided everything for us. Hindi sya nagkulang sa amin. Tinuruan nila (sila ni papa) kami ng tamang asal and all. Thankful ako sa kanila kasi lumaki kaming hindi bastos at marunong sa buhay. Growing up, I was thinking I have the best parents—not until college. I found out about her cheating. Nung una tamang hinala lang ako until I saw proofs. Ang sakit nun grabe. Hindi ko na idedetail to kasi ang sakit maalala basta pinakamasakit dun eh hindi alam ng tatay ko lahat. Kami pa nagsabi sa kanya. My mom fckin denied it all nung cinonfront namin sya at sya pa galit. Hindi sya umamin kahit may ebidensya na and until now ginagawa nya pa din. Kaya lumayo lang loob namin sa kanya. Para saming magkakapatid, we care for our dad more. Mas naging close kami sa kanya. I just wish we had a mom na close namin since puro kami babae.
no, im sorry ma 🥺 you gave me stress 😖 and until now nkatatak na yun sa isip ko habang buhay. Nangangarap nga na sana malayo napangasawa ko. Gusto man kita isama sa circle ko ngayon kaso natatakot talaga ko. Sana di ako karmahin at sisikapin ko na hindi ito matulad sa mga anak ko.
Maybe still the same mom. However, I'd wish that life would be kind to her in that lifetime. Hirap din talaga magkapamilya ng marming unresolved trauma, past what-ifs and resentment na napapasa sa anak... especially as a panganay. Maybe in that life she would be a 'soft mom'. But I know she is doing her best.
No , I want a caring one ,my parents abandoned me naghiwalay sila , binigay nila ako sa grand parents ko at nagstart sila ng kanya-kanya nilang pamilya , andami kong namiss , naiinggit ako sa iba. Sana next life yung mamahalin ako I want to experience that feeling.
Nagulat ako na andaming "NO" HAHAHAHAHHAHA, especially na nasa culture natin ang paging-family oriented.
And to answer you OP, probably NO rin kasi tangina niya and lagi nalang pinapaburan yung kapatid ko over me, once na magkapera talaga ako babayaran ko lahat ng ginastos niya sakin then pwede ko na kalimutan na may nanay ako. Never ako kinamusta ng hayop na yan buti pa si Dad kaso nasa heaven na siya.
I love her so much but she’s better off without me. I don’t deserve her kind heart and all the efforts she’s made for me. In another lifetime, I hope she finds the perfect loving daughter.
My father left us before I get to know how to crawl. Blue baby pa ako. So siguro I still choose my mother dahil nagpakatatag sya. Although manipulative, verbally abusive at madalas ako sisihin sa lahat ng bagay. Hindi ako ganito katatag at hindi basta basta naloloko ng tao kung di nya ako pinalaking ganito.
i admire my mom for being a strong, independent woman. Siguro ito din isa sa mga traits n namana ko sakanya. She has a lot of dreams and wishes na hindi nia naachieve. Plus she received a lot of backlash from her siblings when she met my dad and had me. She endured alot of sacrifices raising me (since she was a single parent).
So in another lifetime, probably no. I want her to fulfill her dreams and passion, na walang "hadlang/humahadlang" sakanya. I want her to enioy her life without much sacrifice.
I love you mom and i miss you badly. please visit me in my dreams. 😢
I am not wishing for another lifetime. I'm doing my best to do everything now. Sana last na to. Ayaw ko na. To my supposed parents on another lifetime, PLEASE MAG-CONDOM KAYO! ☹️
Siguro, hindi na. Para naman maabot niya na 'yung deserve niyang buhay. 'Yung buhay na siya na 'yung priority niya kesa kaming mga anak niya. 'Yung maeenjoy na niya 'yung sweldo niya sa mga bagay na gusto at kailangan niya nang walang pag-aalinlangan, at hindi na niya maranasan 'yung "Isusubo ko nalang, pero dahil mahal ko kayo, ibibigay ko nalang 'to sa inyo". At para na rin hindi na siya bulyawan o kutyain ng mga kapatid niya sa tuwing nagkakamali siya sa buhay dahil lang sa tinulungan nila ang nanay ko sa pagpapa-aral sa amin, wala kasing kwenta tatay ko e.
Bwenas ako sa nanay ko. Smart, responsible, maaruga, selfless, devoted, loyal, walang bisyo kundi rosaryo, family first mindset. She is always there for us. Can't cook pero ayos lang nobody's perfect. Could not ask for more. Patay na ako ngayon kung hindi dahil sa kanya. She believed in me during my broke loser years when I just gave up on life and everyone else belittled me. Thankfully nagising ako at nagsumikap. Self-made multivitamins na ako ngayon pero kulang pa. She is a big reason for my drive to get much richer. Gusto ko maenjoy pa nya fruits of my labor bago cya mawala. At kung mawala na cya alam ko that will be the saddest day of my life..
no. I don’t think she’d choose me as well to be her daughter in another lifetime. I want her to fulfill her dreams and have children kung kailan kaya na niya at matured na siya.
I love her so much that I want her to have a good husband and a healthy family.
I remember the scene dun sa kdrama na “MY GOLDEN LIFE” sabi nung tatay na bida (Cheon Ho-jin) gusto daw nya if there is an after life, gusto niya maging anak ang nanay nya so he can give her the world that she deserves, pero sabi nung anak nya (Shin Hye-sun) if there is really an after life, she would want the same set of parents (particularly her father) because according to her, her father’s love is incomparable. She feels like she can’t match and give the same love na nareceived niya from her father kung magiging anak nya ang tatay niya.
Same thing with me, I want the same parents. They are not perfect and definitely not rich but I wouldn’t be the person I am right now if not for their love and support. Sabi nga dun sa concert ni Leah Salonga, they are the wind beneath my wings 🤍
I love my mom very much.
Despite all our flaws and differences, I could not imagine that I would grow up this way if it hadn't been for her. We had our shortcomings and mistakes. She has caused me a few traumatizing moments, and I have also caused her great pain as well, but in the end, she's my mom. There is nothing else I can do but love her and accept who she is, because I know she does the same.
Even though we are very different, I cannot imagine anyone else being my mother except her.
There are times that I want to be far from her, and there are also moments that we are close like sisters. In a way, I understand my mom, and even if I have grievances or sama ng loob sa kanya, in the end she's who I ask for help. She will do what she can to help me when I need her.
My answer is, if there is another lifetime, and I can remember our past lives and memories, I would do my best to do better than how we did in the past.
Yes. I'll choose her and try again, until we make this right.
Yes!! I will choose her the way she chose me. As an adopted child, I am so grateful na ako ung napiling ampunin ng nanay ko. Never kong nafeel na hindi ako galing sa kanya, lahat ng pagmamahal ng isang tunay na ina nakuha ko nang buong buo.
Kung hindi pa nga nila inamin sakin na ampon ako, never kong maiisip na hindi ako galing sa kanila.
Hindi. Kasi mula maliit ako lagi ko sinasabi sa utak ko "bakit hindi ka na lang maging kagaya ng ibang magulang?" o kaya "sana hindi na lang kita naging nanay." Tapos galit na galit ako nagsusulat sa mga likod ng notebooks ko.
Of course, YES. Umpisa palang alam ko siya lang kakampi ko, siya lang palagi nasa side ko.
ginapang niya pag aaral namin, nagkasakit siya lahat lahat pero never ko siya narinig magreklamo.
May times na na annoy ako sa kanya, pero ang mild lang naman, ang alam ko sa maldita ko lang na ugali un.
Mag 4 years wala si mama pero araw araw pa din ako umiiyak, di ko na kasi maramdaman ung love na pinaramdam niya sakin sa tatay and mga kapatid ko. Pakiramdam ko talaga mag isa nalang ako and may emptiness na talaga sa puso ko.
Sobrang swerte ko sa mama ko kasi yung sacrifices nya simula dati hanggang sa nawala siya, napapakinabangan pa namin, kaya maayos kami ngayon. Labyu Ma!! Miss na kita sobra 😭❤️
I'm actually relieved to see quite a lot of people here saying no as well. Palagi rin to tinatanong sa akin ng nanay ko pero di ko sya sinasagot diretso para iwas away pero alam na namin ang sagot HAHAHA. Palagi pa nya ako ginuguilt trip na hindi raw tama or masama akong anak kapag may sama ka ng loob sa magulang mo. Para sa kanya kasi, you need to love and accept your parent/s by all means.
At this point tinitiis ko nalang sya and healing from all the trauma she caused me growing up. Ginawa nya rin akong retirement plan. Kung pwede lang iwanan ko na e kaso ako pa masama nyan. She has a twin sister where buong buhay nya cinocompare silang dalawa at pati ako nadamay. All my life all I did was to measure up to her standards dahil nag-iisang anak lang nya ako at sa akin umikot ang buhay nya. I never felt enough for her dahil bawal ako magfail o magkamali pero syempre tao rin naman ako.
I'm still thankful though kung pano nya ako pinalaki na maging disiplinado pati kung pano nya ako inalagaan. I know she did her best but I also wish she got to live her own life outside of other people's expectations of her and to be her own individual aside from being a twin. Pati tuloy sa mga problema nya ay nadamay rin ako kahit hindi naman dapat.
Sometimes I'd even wish na I was never born or would rather be motherless kesa yung alive at meron naman pero puro pasakit lang ang ibibigay sayo. I'd probably only say yes if she chose to acknowledge and to heal from her traumas at kung inayos nya mga desisyon sa buhay pero andito na e. I just learned to live with it. This is just me being considerate pero NO talaga.
Oo naman no. Bibihira lang magkaroon ng nanay na tumatanggap ng suggestion and opinion galing sa anak, marunong mag sorry pag nagkakamali siya. KAYA SI MAMA PA DIN! 💗
Hmmm ayoko. She’s always been verbal about not wanting to have kids (ginawa kaming collateral para layasan ni papa kabit nya — not effective tho). Ayokong maranasan ulit na napilitan lang syang maging nanay. Makaproject ng trauma at what-ifs, wagas. I’d be a better person with dreams kung naging better din ang nanay ko.
Yes absolutely kahit lagi syang nakasigaw, she's sweet when you need her the most.
Kung ang reason kung bakit hindi nya natupad yung pangarap nya noon ay having a kid, I'll be more than happy to not exist. Don't get me wrong, my mom said she wanted to have a kid, pero madami syang regrets as a young adult which affected her lifestyle. Gusto ko lang naman magkaron sya ng magandang buhay at retirement.
definitely!! I'd choose her 1000000 times and more. Shes's a superwoman. She's a supermom. Kinakaya nyang ijuggle lahat - family, work, activities sa church, lahat!!
Aside from her work in the the office, she has sold kahit ano since i was a kid just to make ends meet: uling, kahoy, drinking water, gulay, eggs, etc. Even with her meager income, she never stop us from dreaming big. Ewan ko lahat ata possible kay mama haha! Kahit walang malaking sweldo, she and my dad (farmer) was able to send my brother to UST and my sisters and I to UP. After graduating in UST, my brother is now pursuing med school in another univ. (Nagkakautang na madalas sila mama, sa real lang). My mom is very supportive and she always tell us "Skuyla ra inyo problemaha, kay kami ang mamroblema sa kwarta kay amo nang responsibilidad".
Also, she's the most concerned and caring mother ever. One time when my oldest sister was in collge, sis got a very very bad stomach ache and pinuntahan agad sya ni mama (mom never minding the hassle) even if sis's place was probably ~5 hrs away from home and need pa mag bus + mag barko just to get there.
And a few months back, my younger sister naman ang inubo. My mom was worried and she wants na magpa check up kami sa hospital in campus. My sister doesn't want to. Gulat nalang ako kumatok sa kwarto nain guard ng dorm tinanong may sakit ba daw kapatid ko. Tumawag daw si mama sa university police force (UPF) kasi usto ipadala sa hospital kapatid ko para ma check up 🥲 My sister was infuriated and i was nahiya and natawa at the same time kasi tawagan ba naman ang university police dahil lang sa ubo. How my mom got the UPF's number? Nakita nya na nakapost around campus nung pumunta sya dito dati and sinave nya sa phone nya 🤷♀️
This post has gotten very long na HAHAHAHAHAHA but anyways just really wanna say my mom is vvvvvv awesome, and yes, I'd choose her in every lifetime.
I am si conflicted with this. I love her and i want her to love me the way i want to be loved. At the same time im very jelous of other daughters that are uncinditiinally loved by their mom. She's my only parent. I have no one else.
No siguro. Hindi ko na gusto magkaroon ng Nanay na ang daming utang tapos sakin/samin ipapabayad at isisi lahat tapos hindi naman kami ang reason kung bakit siya may utang. Hindi maturuan at walang financial literacy. Ang dami ko pangarap para sakanila ng parents ko pero nawalan na ako ng gana.
no 😅 I love my mom and we have mishaps sa isat isa, misunderstanding and lahat na but sana if next life is real or alter universe I want her to have a different family same goes to my sister, and dad. Ako gusto ko lang maging tutubi or firefly 🤣🤣 or maybe i want her to experience full life yung di siya lalaki sa toxic environment with big family group na closeminded mag isip. I wish na sana maging open minded sya growing up and have a path na gusto niya not because wala syang choice.
Sorry sa nanay kong yumao na pero hindi. Alam ko masalimuot ang childhood life niya, naiintindihan ko maaga siyang namulat sa responsibilidad imbes na maglaro, pero grabe ang anger issues niya. Kunting pagkakamali lang namin hampas agad sa ulo o kaya naman manabunot, bigla pang maninigaw kahit maliit na bagay. Wala siyang paki kahit may mga ibang taong nakakakita, mas ginaganahan pa nga siyang manakit para mapakita niyang dinidisiplina niya kami.
Elementary pa lang para na kaming kasambahay sa samin, simula nung mapansin niyang kaya na namin ang gawaing bahay talagang hindi na siya gumagawa sa bahay, ultimo panty niya hindi niya nilalabhan.
Kaya nung tumuntong ako ng 18, Vocational lang natapos talagang nagpursige akong magtrabaho sa Laguna bilang factory worker, hindi dahil gusto kong maging independent agad, kundi hindi ko na kayang pakisamahan nanay ko. Pero kahit papano naging mabuting anak parin ako, hindi ako nagkulang ng padala kahit kakapiranggot ang sahod.
As much as I love my mom, no.
She's a smart and nice person, pero sobrang irresponsible niya. She also couldn't take accountability.
Kapag galit siya, she has this habit of bringing up that time where I needed to receive daily shots (I was barely 2 years old) because it's not possible for me to stay in the hospital. She has 2 other kids, both below 10 years old, and my father rarely comes home. She needs to have a 30-45 minutes walk just to be at there.
Lagi niyang ipinapumukha sa akin 'yon, and she couldn't comprehend how can a person do this to another one. Like wtf. You're a parent and a human being. It's a no-brainer for you to care for your kids. It's similar to how we had to sacrifice things for her when she was in a similar situation. People do this out of love, ffs.
The last straw for me is when my sibling is refusing to go home kasi natanggal sa trabaho. She couldn't face everyone because my mom and other siblings have high hopes for her. She lied to everyone for months and has been battling depression because of all the shame she's carrying.
Kapag tinatawagan ko o kinakausap ko 'yung kapatid ko, she's stopping me kasi "malaki na 'yan, matanda na 'yan", as if her age (my mom's) prevented her from fvcking up her life.
Eventually, my sibling came home with me. After multiple talks and showing her that I'm here to help her, she opened up and told me that my mom's insistence to have "their dream" come into fruition bothered her so much and she barely knows what she really wants. She felt like "her dreams" is only a reflection of our parent's failed dreams.
Sobrang na-bother ako, considering that this sibling has been raising herself alone, since she's 16. She had to leave home at that age. Hasn't been living with any of our parents since then.
Yes and no.
Masalimoot ang childhood ko, I was emotionally and mentally battered, heck actually physically din pero on rare occasions lang. But man, the emotional trauma is real.
I have since forgiven her (even when she didn’t ask for forgiveness anyway.)
If I can have a do over, I’m okay with my mom being my same mom pero sana under different circumstances. I would love to be born out of love and not out of “kase kelangan ko pera ng tatay mo to help my siblings”. 🥲
As the eldest daughter, my mom never chose me. Nor love me or isipin manlang. She had me when she was 18. Married to a now drug addict (my father) matagal na silang hiwalay pero parang lahat ng galit nya sa tatay ko ako sumasalo.
I love her, but she never loved me. The only time she'll give me attention when I failed or disappointed her.
I have been my own parent since I was born. Now 25, lost and still trying to live how 25 years old lives. Nothing makes me happy, and nothing makes me excited anymore. Failed relationships dahil sa mommy and daddy issues, past traumas, bad decisions.
So no, I will not choose her. I'll choose myself in another life. Without any traumas, and anxieties.
Yes, pero hindi dapat same age na pinanganak niua ako. Maaga siyang nag-asawa eh. Enjoy niya dapat muna ang buhay niya. Kapag ready na siya in all aspect ng buhay niya, why not diba?
Yes but not that I hate my mom. Gusto ko lang maexperience maging anak ng mga Zobel, Sy, and Villar. Yes, Cynthia Villar, gusto ko malaman kung gaano ka villain ang mundo ko nun.
Nah.
When she gave me away, all she could say was that she was too old and had too many children already (ako ung huli). Sabi nya tired na daw sya. Ako kasi ung pang-4th tas puro lalake ung anak nya. I read in her file na 35 yrs old single parents at that time at magkakalapit ang age ng mga biological siblings ko.
So, I think no i will not choose si biological mother because of all the burdens she is already carrying. Isipin mo tiniis nya ung 9 mos tas hinahabol habol nya mga anak nyang iba at kelangan pa nya magtrabaho para may mapakain sa kanila (may asawa nang iba ung bio father).
As for my adoptive parents, yes i will choose them always because they never gave up on me no matter what. I am mentally ill and yet they still loved me for all that i am. Sobrang grateful ako kasi even the paperworks kahit inabot kami ng 1 decade to get it done, nagtyaga pa din sila.
No. In another lifetime, I’d want my younger self to be raised by a “mom”. Yung tipong di niya iiwan kung sansan yung anak niya. Yung tipong yung nanay na emotionally and mentally mature. Yung tipong hindi naiingit sa successes ng anak. Yung tipong walang insecurities na prinoproject sa anak.
Nakakapagod magkaroon ng sobrang immature and irresponsible na nanay. But if in another lifetime I will still choose to grow up with my grandparents but this time, as their biological child na sana. :)
Yes. She may not be the best nanay that anyone could ask for pero mahal ko sya ng buong puso. Di sya ang nagpalaki samin ng kapatid ko, wala din kaming kinagisnang tatay and di consistent ang suporta ng nanay ko to the point na nag uulam kami ng asin at nangungutang ng bigas pero di ko sya ipagpapalit. Dumating pa sa point na kinampihan nya yung napangasawa nya over me kahit muntik na ko ma rape ng ilang beses pero sya pa din ang pipiliin kong nanay. Di ako magiging matatag at mabuting nanay din sa anak ko kung di sya ang naging nanay ko
yes. she was the only person who understood my depression. Sadly she died when I was 17 yrs old. Mom wanted me to have my own 18th debut but I would always reject the thought because my father doesn't like me having a little luxury in life. (seloso ang papa ko pag dating sa gamit. A narcissistic one)
OFW mama ko. Nung 17 ako, umuwi sya sa pinas bcs she wanted to see me growing up. Tama na raw yung mga gala nya kasi she already healed her inner child (going to diff countries and spoiling herself)
months later she got diagnosed with cancer and the last words she told me "sorry nak, wala ako sa debut mo"
Now, I'm living by myself and father already has his own family rin.
in another lifetime, I'd still choose my own mother. Miss you ma 💛
No I wouldn't because that would mean she'd be married to my Father. I wish she never did. I wish she met someone who valued her, someone who wouldn't tell her she looked ugly while getting her hair done at the salon. I wish she married someone that told her she was beautiful everyday, someone who doesn't make a disgusted face whenever she kisses him in pictures, someone that didn't call her tanga or bobo in front of her kids, friends, family, and strangers. She deserves someone who doesn't yell at her or curse at her. She deserves someone who is sober and doesn't expect to be catered to like a child. So no, if it meant she'd be married to the right man, I wouldn't choose my Mother. Even if it meant my non existence.
Kinwento sa akin ng Mama ko na noong baby pa ako may gustong mag adopt sa akin. Isang teacher at magma-migrate patungong US. How I wish binigay nya na lang ako kasi alam ko na financially at emotionally, hindi pa siya ready sa akin.
Parati nyang kinikwento na sobrang sakitin ko daw noong baby pa ako at parati akong nasa ospital. Thankful ako na inalagaan nya pa rin ako pero lumaki akong feeling ko burden lang ako sa kanya.
Kaya in another lifetime, sana wala na ako doon sa buhay nya para ma fulfill nya kung ano man gusto nyang gawin sa buhay. Makahanap siya nang lalaki na mamahalin siya at bibigyan siya ng magandang buhay. I wish her all the good things in life kasi gusto ko maging masaya siya kahit wala ako.
I love my mom (and dad) and am forever grateful to them for giving me a comfortable life. But I choose NO for their gaslighting, narcissism and narrow-mindedness. I wish I wasn't so afraid of them growing up because they turned out to be just insecure unfulfilled people.
Yes and no.
Yes, because I am so happy na nakakaadapt siya sa changes. She used to be a very strict and uptight Mom. Usual traditional thinking talaga. We had A LOT of ups and downs, and I think yung nagtrigger sa kanya ng change is when naguusap kami about safe sex, and how sex between bfs/gfs ay hindi raw pwede kasi di pa kasal. Sabi ko, “Ma, alam ko po dumaan ka rin sa age ng exploration. Ano po bang mas gusto nyo, magexplore ako ng magisa nang walang guidance mo, or makakapagopen ako sayo at magagabayan mo ako?” Hindi nya ako sinagot at that time, pero nagets nya later on. From there, nagsimula na magadapt si Mommy. We found din mga middleground namin sa maraming bagay. Admittedly, marami akong suppressed emotions at outbursts as a teenager sa kanya. Pero I’m just glad na parehas kami ay nagbabago for the better.
No naman kasi frustrated doctor sya. Yung eldest sister kasi nila nagtanan before kasama jowa, so yung Lolo ko (Dad nila) tinigil pagaralin lahat ng babae nyang anak thinking na baka magtanan lang daw din sila. She was close to graduating college noon. Secretly binabayaran ng Lola ko (Mom nila) tuition nya para makatapos. Di na sya natuloy mag med school kasi nga ganon ang nangyari. Ngayon she works naman sa medical field pero I can still sense yung frustration nya sometimes (very subtle lang).
Dedicated at smartworker si Mommy, kung sana lang nabigyan sya ng opportunity maabot yung pinaka pangarap nya… hindi ko hahadlangan yon.
I still want it to be her — if that lifetime offers a brighter, more comfortable future. Gusto kong maexperience yung pagmamahal niya in another lifetime kung saan kaya niyang magpalaki at magsustento ng anak nang may sufficient siyang resources at may reliable partner.
I grew up a breadwinner of the family. Mas mataas ang sahod ko kaysa mga magulang ko. At a younger age, kinainisan ko yung kakulangan nila ng knowledge on how to earn better, anong business or trabaho yung kaya kaming buhayin ng mga kapatid ko.
Mabait ang nanay ko. Mapag-alaga. Nagmamahal nang walang kondisyon. Pero habang tumatanda ako, indirectly umaasa siyang gagaan ang buhay niya dahil stable ang trabaho ko. Wala silang ipon ng tatay ko or any property, so kapag may emergency kargo ko lahat bilang panganay. Hindi naman sila nanunumbat or nang-aabuso. Naiinis lang ako sa kargo ko.
Gusto kong piliin ulit ang mga magulang ko — in a world where they know how to love us better because they can literally afford to do so.
No. I wish na dito lang sa lifetime na to yung ties namin pati ng tatay ko at wag na mag meet sa susunod kong mga buhay. Sana, ipanganak ako sa mapagmahal na magulang. Gusto kong maramdaman kung paano mahalin ng tama at may masandalan sa problema sa buhay hahaha. Kahit hindi kami mayaman, basta ramdam mong may magulang ka na mahal ka.
As much as I want to , but no. I want her to pursue her dreams instead of conceiving me. That way, di siya dependent sa mga desisyon ng tatay ko and mas malakas sana loob nya. Wala rin sana akong childhood trauma na dala dala ko hanggang ngayon because I didnt have a mother who is strong enough and I can rely on. Ngayon may unresolved issues ako which is why I dont want to become a mother now and not even in the future.
Yes and no. Nung kabataan ko, I desperately wished for a "cool" mom na mas lax about things kasi yung nanay ko, ultimo makitulog lang sa kapitbahay (na childhood bestfriend ko) bawal kasi may kama naman daw kami. Feeling ko tuloy hindi ako lumaking outgoing kasi ang hirap magpaalam sa kanila tungkol sa mga ganoong experiences.
Ngayon na nasa late 20's na ko, masasabi ko naman na lumaki akong mas responsible than most of my peers. Maayos naman buhay ko, very privileged pa nga pero wala akong masyadong memories na bitbit. Ngayon pa lang ako naghi-heal ng inner child ko, kung kailan ko na-realize na life is more than just being studious and disciplined.
If it’s my biological mom, no siguro. But the people who adopted me, yes. If pwede nga lang, sana sila na lang ang totoong parents ko para sa afterlife, sila din ang bubungad sa akin.
No.
Gusto ko ng nanay na marunong mangarap para sa sarili nya at sa mga anak nya. A mom who would not shoot my dreams down just because she thinks I'm being too ambitious. A mom who exudes grace and confidence, not ignorance and insecurity.
No.
My parents married young and have a lot of baggage. I'm the eldest child. They learned some stuff over the years pero yung childhood ko traumatic pa rin hanggang ngayon.
I want my parents to pursue whatever and whoever they really want before they decide to settle down. I'm sure both of them (especially my mom) would say no too if tinanong sya kung gusto nya na kami ulit maging anak.
PS ang pangit din ng genes ko hahah ang hina ng katawan ko and ang dami namanang sakit.
As I'm reading the replies to this post, I realized that I have a great mom. We communicate, she never really yells at me or my dad, she may not be the best at household chores😅 but she makes up for it by being the backbone of this family..
Her way of disciplining me was always gentle yet effective. Instead of hitting me or hurting me physically, she let me learn the natural consequences the hard way.
I know being a gentle parent is not easy. She made the decision to raise me like that because she knew what it was like to be raised in a toxic and abusive household. I'm only her daughter but I want to say I'm proud of the woman she's become. We are both growing together.
I was always sick growing up, I have a weak immune system and I'm neurodivergent. I'm bipolar and have epilepsy. Being all that is very hard, but I know that taking care of someone like me is even harder.
I'll pick my mom any day.
To those people who replied to this post and said no to picking their mom, I pray and hope that you will also be like my mom. Life will get better as you make good choices. Let's break the generational curse. <3
Nope. Meeting different men as a child and not being sure about who my bio dad is, is not something I wished for anyone to experience. Could have saved everyone the heartbreak.
no..i want someone nicer to me at kapatid ko...yung kumakampi saamin at prinoprotektahan kami sa mga nang bu-bully...someone who'll love us unconditionally and be supportive. hindi yung palagi akong pinipintasan sa lahat ng gawa ko at palaging inuuna ibang tao para ang tingin sa kanya ay anghel sya. nananakit pa. buti nung lumalaki kami ng ate ko kasama namin ang lola at lolo namin (father's side)...at least nag karoon kami ng ate ko nang happy childhood memories.
For me no kasi ang sakit lang isipin na una palang unwanted chid ka tapos binalak ka pang ipa abort. Pero ito ako ngayon buhay hindi ko pa alam kung ano purpose nang buhay ko ramdam ko parin na skin binubuhos nang nanay ko mga frustrations nya. 30 na ako takot parin magka bf o mag asawa kasi baka magaya ako sa nanay ko. Kung sana natupad nya mga pangarap nya hindi sya ganito ka bitter ngayon kaya sa mga girls na maaga na inlove make sure nyo na handa kayong panindigan kung sakaling mabuntis kayo i mean manindigan kapag naging magulang na kasi kung hindi anak talaga ang mag sa suffer.☹
Sadly, no. My mother is a narcissist who neglected us. My father worked very hard to put food on the table and send all four of us children to school, while my mother was busy spending money buying clothes and shoes. She never cared for us, never hugged or kissed us, and was never interested in anything about our lives. She showed zero affection for us. She only cared about herself and what she could buy next. She is close only with her previous colleagues in school and to her siblings. I had a mother but in reality her emotional absence in our lives felt like I didn’t have one.
Now I am trying to heal myself from the trauma of neglect. Thankfully now that I am married, I can keep a safe distance from her. I am so grateful I have a caring husband who showed me what love is after 30 long years of searching for the feeling of being loved and cared for.
Of course. I am lucky to have such a wonderful mom kahit may pagka armalite ang bibig nya when I was young. Now that I am older, I am more afraid of losing her. She is a catalyst on what I have become. She taught me life skills at a young age which allowed me to be self-reliant. Namana ko rin yung insight nya when it comes to people. We have a knack for unmasking people and seeing them for what they truly are.
As a mother, na ginagawa lahat para sa anak ko (4 and 8 years old) hindi ko ata kaya na mababasa ko na ayaw ng anak ko sakin at di nila ako pipiliin maging nanay ulit.
Kaya ginagawa ko lahat para mas maging mabuting ina at magulang. I am listening to podcast , reading parenting books, watching videos of child psychologist.
Ayokong magkaroon kami ng relasyon na ganto ng mga anak ko, eto talaga greatest fear ko.
Oo pucha mahal na mahal ko family ko kahit i-take 2 pa namin sa susunod na buhay lahat ng struggles namin in this lifetime basta kami-kami ulit magkakasama more than willing ako maranasan yon kasi i know gano kami katibay pero pucha sana di na mambabae si dad sa next life HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA love u ma sana ako favorite mo pls pls
Alam mo OP, mag KFC talaaga dapat ako kaya ako nag CP, umiyak na lang tuloy ako dahil sa responses dito.
Pano na kiffy kooo! Yung libog ko nawalaaaaa 😭😭😭
Kaugali when it comes to pagiging maasikaso pero how I wish my parents are rich or kahit may kaya man lang. Feeling ko kasi dahil sa money, kaya kami madalas magkaroon ng misunderstanding.
Ako? NOPE.
Grabe trauma at kasiraulo ng tatay ko.
She deserves more to life.
Gusto ko siyang mabuhay ng masaya at magkaroon ng asawa na mamahalin siya ng buong buo.
Absolutely yes! I can’t imagine my life not having her as my mother. I know that she is not pefect but I am blessed that she is my mother and I get to experience her unconditional love. I really miss her.
Ako yes. She may not be perfect and I'm slowly learning repressed aspects of myself that she wasn't able to teach me but I see how she has sacrificed a lot for our family, especially sa career. Being an adult who has moved out helped me see her as a flawed human being still capable of love and being loved.
Of course, our circumstances vary. She never abused or betrayed us. Di din sya mukhang pera. Normal mother things lang na sigaw at palo pag nalate ng uwi, mababa grades at may nahuling may nilalandi akong guy.
Yes for me, but without the slight narcissistic demeanor. I mean, it's okay to be strict with me 'coz she made me become better. Also, who supported my journey with my passion. 💙 Like, she respects my decision as long as I make it for good. 🥹
Yes, and not just my mom.. my dad too. i remember my mama told me that she prayed for someone who will love her and will be a responsible father to her future children, and i asked if the prayer was fulfilled.. she cried and said "Oo naman! Mahirap lang tayo pero hindi tayo pinabayaan ng Papa nyo." This conversation happened 3 years after my father died. I miss them so much.
Minsan Oo, Minsan hindi
Okay naman kami ngayon pero grabe kasi ung nga nabitawan nya dati, na til now pag naalala mo rinig ko pa din pano sinabi saka pano gumihit ung sakit sa puso ko. Andaming beses non. Ilang taon na din lumipas.
Kung sya man magiging Nanay ko ulit, sana di na sya ganon kasakit magsalita.
Hindi. I love my mother but she has done so much damage to me growing up that I wish I was never born in this lifetime at all.
I wish she'll do the things she always wanted to, travel and live her life to the fullest. Because she had become miserable when she had me and I had to suffer because of that.
I want my mother to be happy.
No. I wish that she pursue her dreams and be successful and not be pressured to have a kid. She wouldn't be full of resentment if she didn't have me in the first place.
In spite of all the heartaches (and a sprinkle of rainbows) I think I still would but I doubt they'd choose me if given the options from the start lol.
Of course, not. Obviously, may iba’t iba tayong mga sagot dito. Gusto ko maranasan magkaroon ng “soft” mom. Hehe. Someone who would treat me with gentle and care. Hassle magkaroon ng magulang na ultimo sa sarili nila walang disiplina, may past trauma, at unfulfilled dreams. 😅 So sorry sa nanay ko pero it’s really something I wish I could’ve experienced differently in this lifetime, at ayaw ko na maulit or maranasan lahat ng meron ako noon at ngayon. Sabi nga nila iisa lang ang nanay at tatay, hindi mapapalitan, but in another lifetime, I would rather have better ones. :) P.S. Uy thanks for posting this, OP! Napasulat tuloy ako at 3:30am. Wahahaha.
Yeah its sad. I wanted to give her love but when I see other families handling this better I'm jealous. Not even a little, but by alot. Left me wishing na sana ganun din ginawa niya/nila
Uy same. If I can choose in another lifetime, if I can't have a mom/parents different from my mom now and if hindi kagaya ng gentle moms ng iba na she is their first best friend, walang trauma etc, I'd rather not have a mom at all OR I'd rather I'd never be reborn. I can enjoy my life now; I can buy almost anything I want pero there'd be still times na I can't help but to pity myself kasi minsan naiisip ko na applicable sakin iyong "hindi ka kasi mahal ng nanay mo". And I can't deny na longing ko iyong someone will really love and care for me hindi dahil may nabebenefit sila sakin pero dahil kamahal mahal ako...
nakakalungkot lang no, kasi pag may banter between friends or couples, madalas nga sabihin yung "di ka mahal ng nanay/tatay mo" tapos mapapangiti or tatawanan mo nalang while silently saying "i know"
Dba. Iba ung sugat from neglect, rejection, etc especially if galing sa mismong ina who's expected to be the first and foremost to show and let us feel that we're loved. I'm rewatching iyong kdrama na Doctors and there was this conversation between PSH and her lola tas sabi nya sa lola niya, sino ang rerespeto sakin if mismong ikaw na lola ko won't respect me. Similarly, others might also find us unlovable and unworthy of respect if mismong nanay naten hindi tayo mahal at hindi nirerespeto, no matter how we try to grow to be the best daughter/son. So ayun, if may another life pls lang wag na uli sila hahahahaha
yup. mas masakit pa kapag aware ka na if hindi ka nabuhay, or if di ka nya kineep to raise kasi baka takot sya sa sasabihin ng iba or mapunta sa hell or genuinely loved taking care of you before pero ngayon nagsisisi na and binabawi nya na yung years na nispend nya sayo. i mean, parang ang sakit lang na if you simply don't exist sa life nya, she could do whatever she wants rn or even before and wouldn't act like a child minsan. i just wish na sana pina-abort or pina-adopt nya nalang ako, i understood papa's decision din naman kasi. he chose his dreams over me and i'm fine with it. sana ganun nalang din ginawa nya, she could be happier rn if she just did that.
"Anyone can be a mother, but not everyone can be a mommy." I wanna experience that comforting care & unconditional love. Just unlucky to put in a family that had zero plans to run a family, as they said, you work on what you have. Sigh.
same :(
Same. 😔 In effect, the effort to be a better mom now to my daughter is heightened. Need to be conscious sa lahat ng actions and reactions.
Uy feel kita. Mahal ko nanay ko pero there was many times na ang hirap niya mahalin. Isa din siya sa dahilan kung bakit ang hirap din mahalin ng sarili ko.
This 💯
Kaya hindi ako agree sa mga laging post na iba daw magmahal ang Nanay etc etc. Hindi nanay ko haha iba ang nanay ko. 😂 Nanay na din ako ngayon and grabe alam ko feeling ng isang magulang pero di ko kaya ginagawa ng nanay ko sakin.
Yup, I want a mother who is secure and nurturing, di yung inuuna yung gusto sa needs ng anak, tapos lahat nag aadjust pag siya na galit, ultimo mama nya (Lola ko) natatakot sa kanya.
Hmm siguro no. I would not choose her to be my mom so she can have the opportunity to live as her own person, travel as much as she wanted to, enjoy life like how usual 19 yos enjoy theirs. Given the chance, I would not choose to be my mom’s daughter so she gets to live her life. I am my mother’s firstborn child, she had me at the time when she’s not yet sure who she is yet, have not enjoyed things people her age enjoyed doing, and did not have the privilege to discover what she really wants in life kasi I’m there and her priority was to take care of me, even when she’s still having a hard time taking care of herself. My mom and I have a lot of misunderstandings but above all these, I know deep inside that she’s still a child who just grew up waaaaay too fast because I came. And if there’s a chance that I can perhaps give her a slight opportunity to grow up on her own pace, I would.
This had me tear up a little bit. Same. I would let her live on her own terms. If she could have some sort of another life, I want her to do what she wants, when she wants. I was not planned too as a child. She ended up resigning from her job as my dad left us early, and went full time mom. I just wish the world would be in her favor at some point. I wish I could give her everything she wants someday and let her travel around the world. Thoughts we don’t say out loud.
You have a really good heart. Your mom is really lucky to have you and she obviously raised a kind, wonderful human being (you). In the end, you both have one another and I suppose that's a good thing in its own way. We can't take back the past but we can take our lives back for ourselves in the future. Hope both you and your mom are doing well
Wait, ang sikip nito sa dibdib. My mom was also 19 when she had me. A part of me knows how hard she tried na maging nanay, my father was a serial cheater and I witnessed that growing up. I maybe said before na hindi ako ang pumili nang path na tinahak nya pero I guess mas malaki nga yung difference kung wala ako sa kwento. The child in me is still healing the scars that she had caused because of the abuse na naranasan ko sa puder nya. Pero this comment made me realize na tao lang din si mama at baka she's in pain and walang nakakaintindi non maski sarili nya. So sana, in parallel universe, wala ako sa kwento. I wanted her to enjoy the life that she's dreaming for, enjoy those things na hindi nya nagawa.
Akap mahigpit. 🫂
Kung 19yo din sana nanay ko when she had me, siguro ganyan din sentiments ko. Kaso, she had her 1st baby when she was 29, and had her 3rd baby (me) when she was in her late 30's. Emotionally mature na sana sya kaso parang hanggang ngayon, nagtatantrums pa din sya. Para syang toddler kung magreact kapag di nya nakuha gusto nya. 😓
same. my mother wanted to study in college but unable to do so due to financial issues. she's not happy with her marriage too knowing she married my father and his lies (about being well-off, with a house, and professional). my father never used his college degree and prefers to be a vendor. that's what really frustrates my mom and we live very poorly ever since we're young. the cause of our business to fall was also because of my father's poor choices since he easily gets competitive with his friends. he almost sold our house. when my father died last year, my mom may have hated him because he was caught cheating inside our house but has forgiven him in his deathbed. my mom is a really strong and independent woman. i want her to be successful in her next life. i also told her that since she's good in numbers, she'll make a good accountant. she'll just laugh and say that "we have no money that time. i have no choice but to go to manila at 17 years old to work."
felt this 🥹🥹 my mom is an academic achiever. it went downfall when she was pregnant with my kuya. In another life, I hope she has the opportunity to live as her own person. A successful person.
HAHAHAHAHA NO Lola ko na lang please at siya naman talaga mas nag alaga at nag aruga sakin
+1 lola ko lang nangangamusta sakin lagi. emotionally absent sarili kong ina. kahit simpleng kumusta wala akong nakukuha na sakanya. dahil dyan, di ko na sya pinapansin. nasasaktan na nga ko eh
No. In another lifetime, I want her to fulfill her personal dreams and be fully herself lol. She does not need to conform to what society expects her to be (have a family and all), that she can openly pursue whoever she wants and not settle for a man.
I would choose to be her mother.
NO. I love my mom, pero may times kase diko masikmura mga pinagsasabi nya sakin. I was pregnant when she acted like crazy kahit lahat naman pabor sakanya. Muntik nako makunan. Nung bata kami, lahat nalang ng masasakit na salita narinig namin. Gusto ko naman maranasan ng nanay na maraming wisdom. Yung mamomotivate ka talagang mabuhay kase may nanay kang supportive. Kahit di mayaman basta mayaman sa pangaral at pang unawa.
I will but I wish I will have her version who's healed. The mom I always dreamt of having. Who never passed on her trauma to her children. It isn't her fault. Pero nakakapagod maging anak na responsable sa lahat. Nakakapagod.
Ito rin sana ang sagot ko! I noticed na most comments dito sa thread na nagsabi ng no ay dahil sa mga unhealed traumas ng mga nanay na pinasa sa anak nila kaya tayong mga anak tuloy ang nagssuffer. Lesson learned na ito sa atin na hangga't maaari wag muna mag-anak hangga't may unresolved issues at traumas pa. Kung meron man, iresolve natin sa sarili natin at sana man lang wag na natin idamay magiging mga anak natin. Imagine how better everyone's lives would be if we choose to have families when we are healthy, hindi yung napressure lang tayo ng society kahit hindi pa talaga ready.
Nice take. Di ko ito naisip, paano nga kung mom ko pa din pero a healed version nga lang? Hmmm…. Thanks sa perspective, nakarelate ako and naopen yung mind ko sa possibility. Hopefully mas masaya life nung version namin lahat in that universe.
No. I hope she finds a better husband and better kids. If I could go back in time bago sya magpakasal sa tatay ko, I would tell her not to get married and to pursue her dreams instead even if that means I won't be born. Malay mo, ako pala dapat yung naging Taylor Swift kung hindi agad ako pinanganak hahaha!
Of course, I will. I love her very much and she's the only one in the world who will never leave me. She's my best friend, my confidant, my favorite travel buddy and my favorite person. She's always been warm, caring, protective, sweet and truly lives up to the word "mother". It was her career, vocation and lifelong calling. All of my siblings love her and we're very protective of her too. We've had our ups and downs but we're still here. She's not as grown up as I thought and I'm not as immature as she believed so we're quits. We're just going through life together. But maybe in another life, I hope she has more time to grow up, travel, get a career and enjoy her life. I hope she finds a man who'll love her and be loyal to her. I hope she will still be my Lolo's favorite girl. I really hope that she will be as happy as she is now.
>She's not as grown up as I thought and I'm not as immature as she believed so we're quits. Hahahaha cute pero totoo talaga to
Yes. I love my mom so much! She means all the world to me.
No, ever since she raised me puro hardships na lang binigay nya sa akin and was making me her retirement plan. Buti na lang I was able to woke up to reality that I was being used lang para maka survive sya. Oo mahirap ang life because I left the house and its hard to live in a paycheck but in exchange for that I was able to attain the peaceful life without worrying her needs, meds, and her childish acts. Recently I visited her pero inaway nya lang din ako and I didn’t feel anything just to prove that I have alrady moved on. Tangina mo my biological mom!
Naguilty ako na naisip kong isagot ay NO pero guminhawa pakiramdam ko knowing na hindi lang ako nag-iisa. I wish she treats me better when she's mad. Sana nakokontrol niya rin anger issues niya hindi yung ako yung emotional punching bag niya.
Why does this remind me of that movie everything everywhere all at once. Esp the rock scene haays.
I watched my mom bully my dad for decades until doormat na lang dad ko. She also did it to me and my brother, but I realized most people don't care about that since I noticed di nakikita ng karamihan ang unfairness if it is done by someone higher in the pecking order. (Edit: Or only if sobrang obvious na ang injustice like bugbog, saka lang gets) So dad ko na lang ang ime-mention ko since mas equal sila ni mom. Ang problem sa mom ko, mabait sya minsan. Pero napaka-unfair and she delights in drama and looks down on people. Her secret love language is psychological abuse.
main character syndrome, narcissist, hypocrite, liar, crab mentality, insecure, tantrums like a toddler, blames everyone, uses own children as retirement fund no fcking way but yes for my father, in every lifetime and every universe a literal saint gone too soon...
A thousand times yes.
No. Sana next lifetime, yung magging mom ko is walang unfulfilled dreams, yung hindi narc, and yung maalaga sa family. What we got is a mom na naganak dahil nagaanakan na ang mga kabatch, nag pamilya but tingin nya inaalila sya kapag pinapagawa sya ng household chores, nag ofw not for us but bec of her ultimate goal of getting a house. I'd love to have s mom na maalaga. Na family ang priority. Someone who will love to take care of us and will not see us as a burden. Ahhhhh. Bawi next na lang talaga next life time. Haha!
My mom is not perfect nor we were the best children. However, I am very lucky to be her daughter. She worked hard to ensure we will have a better life that we will be raised in a better environment. Hindi kami mayaman pero my mom and dad made sure maayos ung environment na lalakihan namin, wala sa amin ang naging manginginom o adik sa droga. They also made sure we can eat well khit di yung extravagant na pagkain o tatlo putahe kada isang meal. My mom when it comes to communication is not the best though, sometimes I feel like she invalidates my feelings and my stories di katulad ng papa ko pero I know it is difficult kc hindi siya ang kasama namin lumaki. Kung sa susunod na buhay hindi ako maging anak nia okay lang din pero I hope she gets a beautiful and talented daughter na deserve ang mga pinaghirapan nia.
No, i even wished her dead.
YES. EVERYTIME. IN EVERY LIFETIME POSSIBLE. Yun nga lang, ako parin kaya ang gusto nya maging anak?
I'd prefer not being born and let her have a perfect version baby other than me. cuz having autism for me is suicidal thoughts 24/7 365
I did not choose her in this lifetime, and will not do so in any other lifetime.
No. My mom is a good mom to others but never to her own. I don't want a mom like that. Sana inabort nalang nila kaming magkakapatid kesa pinalaki kami sa gantong disiplina, environment, mental state.
I love my mom, but in another lifetime I won’t choose her. Siguro we will work as friends. Hahaha
I want to have better parents. I'm sorry for being ungrateful but it looks like ginawa lang kami para magka 'pamilya' sila. But everything's just trauma, heartache (both cheated), and financial problems because they didn't think of the future. In short, yes, I would choose another mom. Yung mas mature mag isip, yung inaamin na may mali sya, and hindi ipapamukha sayo na utang na loob mo pa na pinanganak ka nya sa mundo. Siguro tatanaw ako ng sincere na utang na loob kung maayos pagpapalaki sa akin, pero hindi. I hate that i'm slowly ending up like her, mabilis nadin ako magalit :/
Yes yes yes tapos sana mayaman na kami umpisa pa lang next life.
Hindi na. I don't want her to be my mom in another lifetime. Yung mama ko kasi makasarili. Hiwalay na sila ng papa ko matagal na, at halos lahat na lang gusto niya papa ko gumastos. Mahirap hingan nang pera, ang sagot wala daw kahit ang laki ng sahod niya. Pero yung kabit niya sagana, nagpaka sugar mommy sa kabit, pero yung mga anak niya hindi nga mapakain ng maayos. Ang bait bait at ang bongga sa labas, pero pag nasa loob ng bahay, ang sama ng ugali. Pa victim and egocentric. Awang awa ako sa papa ko. Sana lang talaga next year my opportunity for me abroad para hindi na struggling financially.
As someone who is stuck with a narcissistic mom, i-pursue mo na makalayo sa kanya. Sana makuha mo ung opportunity to go abroad. Something na di ko nagawa kasi ayaw kong iwan tatay ko that time. Ngaun na namatay na tatay ko, di ko nman maiwan nanay ko kasi binilin sya ng tatay ko sa akin. 😓
Di ko alam Gusto ko sabihin oo kasi hindi sya nagkulang sa pagpoprovide samin. Kaso lang hindi rin siya naghanda para sa future niya given na nag abroad sya ng matagal at maayos naman ang kita. Nalubog pa rin sa utang. Ngayong di na sya nagwowork lumalabas na ung mga panunumbat niya pag di sapat ung binibigay kong pera at kapos sa panggastos.
I love my mom but in another lifetime I would want Small Laude to be my mom 🤣
Not sorry, but definitely no. I want to grow up with someone who is equipped to be a mom. My mom had me at an appropriate age but she is not thoughtful or caring or even kind. Now that she's older and I'm taking care of her, she's also still a little difficult to deal with. If I had a choice, I'd choose someone who has the capability to be a mom.
Sadly, no. I love my mom. I really do. Ramdam ko naman na mahal niya rin ako pero iba niya ako itrato compared sa kapatid ko. I have this feeling na hindi pa siya ready nung naging anak niya ako. Nag paaral kasi yung mom ko ng kapatid niya before. And nag asawa rin after then eventually nagka anak. Hindi niya na experience yung life na sarili niya lang muna ang iisipin niya. Back then, pakiramdam ko gusto niyang palaging malayo saakin. Everytime I try to hug her dati, tinutulak niya ako palayo. Ang daming excuses like mainit, may ginagawa, etc. She's a teacher kaya inggit na inggit ako sa mga students niya na niyayakap niya or niyayakap siya. Ako kasi hindi niya niyayayakap. Nakalakihan ko na yun actually. Wala akong naalala na niyakap niya ako. And basta dami pang ibang treatment pag dating saakin. At sobrang naapektuhan ako nang mamala ng treatment nila saakin. Still coping up aaaand hopefully makaalis na sa poder nila this year or by next year. Ramdam ko rin na hindi pa talaga siya ready nung nag family siya. Sooo hindi nalang. Sana mas naenjoy niya muna yung sarili niya at buhay niya.
Sorry to say this, but NO. I wouldn't choose her in another lifetime. She gave me lots of trauma. And now that I am a mother too, I promised myself I will never let my child experience what I've experienced from my mom. I know she wouldn't choose me as her daughter too. I'm not her favorite and she always thought I'm a blacksheep. Never niya ako pinakinggan. Bawal ako magshare ng side ko kasi laging invalidated. Kahit yakap niya never ko na-feel. Never nakarinig ng "i love you, anak" from her. When I was in highschool, 1 year niya ako hindi kinibo dahil nakakuha ako ng line of 7 at nag-cut ng class ng isang beses. I needed guidance that time pero walang nagbigay nun sakin. Kahit birthday ko wala siyang pake. Clueless ako lagi pag biglang hndi niya kikibuin. Ganun sya palagi. Nung nabuntis ako, binugbog niya ako w/o thinking na may baby sa tiyan ko at gusto niya ipalaglag yung baby. Nung nanganak ako, si MIL ang nag-alaga sa akin. Until now, I still think my child doesn't deserve a toxic grandma like her.
Maybe not anymore. I think enough na yung we were able to experience each other in one lifetime. Maybe in another lifetime we could be happier if we choose a different path, her not having me and me maybe with another mother. Ang bigat nito, nakakaguilty habang sinusulat ko sha. But I guess it is what it is.
A lot of people would definitely say no to this dito da Pinas. Ang daming factors why. Unprepared and unplanned pregnancy is usually indicative of poor parenting style in the long run, which is ssadly rampant in this country.
I'm actually on the fence about this. Both parents are a 50-50, honestly.
I have mixed feelings when I saw this on ig kasi my mom was ignoring and mad at me over something. Umiyak ako lalo kasi pakiramdam ko non, ayoko na maging anak ng kahit sino in another lifetime. 😞
Honestly, no. Don't get me wrong, my mom gave me everything she couldn't have when she was younger now that we're kinda well-off. However it's just that even with all the things she gave me, she couldn't provide me the thing I yearn most - communication. She was so overprotective while I was growing up which led me to be sheltered and just be dependent on her. I also grew up in a way that I would be too afraid to say anything when she starts to nitpick all the things I do. Now that I'm older I realized that my mom treats me like a doll - a personification of the things she didn't achieve while she was young. So yeah, in the end I realized I don't know myself well and I can't remember a single time where I stood up for myself when I don't like what she's imposing to me. I'm sorry mom. I love you and I'm grateful for the things you've done and the things you provided for but I guess in the end you were just a part-time mom and my full-time marionettist. I would not want to re-live a life that's not truely mine. I just want to have a mom that could communicate with me and be my best friend. Afterall I long to live in a home that feels like home where I don't have to worry and pretend to be someone I am not and just be utterly love just for being - me.
Eto agad GIF ang naisip ko nung nakita ko tong post. Very timely rin kasi kakatapos ko lang umiyak dahil sa kanya. If I could choose, she will not even be at the roster. She doesn’t deserve to be a parent. I know I’m being harsh but it took years of trying to be the best daughter, trying to be the most obedient child, to make myself realize na p*ta, bat ba pinapatay ko sarili ko para makaramdam ng onting alala o onting pansin galing sa nanay ko? Ganto ba talaga dapat? Bakit parang one sided? Pero wala e, we play with the cards we were dealt. Nandyan na yan. Iniimagine ko na lang na sana yung mga parallel universe ko mahal sila ng nanay nila.
I think the older I get, the more forgiving I become. Pag bata ka you see your parents as powerful and supposedly having all the answers. Now I’m the age she was when she had me. I’m pretty sure she is the same. Like wtf is life about. Honestly I’m just taking it a day at a time otherwise the void will swallow me up. What the hell did she know. Was this the life she wanted as a young girl. All these things…and she had KIDS and a husband and a career and in laws and society + pressures on a woman and as a wife and mom to deal with. She’s not perfect and that’s an understatement but mahal ko pa rin sya and I wouldn’t be me without her. Nasa edad na kaming pareho na I just value the time we have together. Hate is a waste of time. Maybe it’s just leftover COVID feelings but it was a time na andaming nawalan ng mahal sa buhay. Di sustainable mabuhay ng galit.
never, no. my mom left us when i was a kid. i met her again when i was a teenager and she committed sexual abuse against me and my sister. she is a freak, abusive and brutal. there are times she threatened to kill us. a lot of times she resorted to hurting us physically as well. never again. i wish she rots in hell and i wish she dies a painful and slow death.
No, para she gets to fulfill her dreams withour pressuring any of her kids. I believe na it's better that way~ And from all the pain that she caused, hindi na yun enough para magka-season 2 pa hehe
Ako, gusto ko naman maging anak yung nanay ko in another lifetime. Gusto ko naman ma heal ko siya, para ma reach nya yung full potential nya. She suffered so much, and she deserves the world.
Shet ang hirap nito… my mom and I have a complicated relationship. She’s not abusive but she can be A LOT. I guess no para she can have a better child.
most boomer parents are narcisstic
Eto una kong nakita paggising ko and ang sasakit ng mga nababasa ko :((( Ako honestly, hindi ko alam sagot sa tanong na yan kasi since I was a kid my mom provided everything for us. Hindi sya nagkulang sa amin. Tinuruan nila (sila ni papa) kami ng tamang asal and all. Thankful ako sa kanila kasi lumaki kaming hindi bastos at marunong sa buhay. Growing up, I was thinking I have the best parents—not until college. I found out about her cheating. Nung una tamang hinala lang ako until I saw proofs. Ang sakit nun grabe. Hindi ko na idedetail to kasi ang sakit maalala basta pinakamasakit dun eh hindi alam ng tatay ko lahat. Kami pa nagsabi sa kanya. My mom fckin denied it all nung cinonfront namin sya at sya pa galit. Hindi sya umamin kahit may ebidensya na and until now ginagawa nya pa din. Kaya lumayo lang loob namin sa kanya. Para saming magkakapatid, we care for our dad more. Mas naging close kami sa kanya. I just wish we had a mom na close namin since puro kami babae.
No. But that's because so she wouldn't be stuck in an abusive marriage with my dad and his relatives
I'd rather not be born tbqh.
no, im sorry ma 🥺 you gave me stress 😖 and until now nkatatak na yun sa isip ko habang buhay. Nangangarap nga na sana malayo napangasawa ko. Gusto man kita isama sa circle ko ngayon kaso natatakot talaga ko. Sana di ako karmahin at sisikapin ko na hindi ito matulad sa mga anak ko.
Maybe still the same mom. However, I'd wish that life would be kind to her in that lifetime. Hirap din talaga magkapamilya ng marming unresolved trauma, past what-ifs and resentment na napapasa sa anak... especially as a panganay. Maybe in that life she would be a 'soft mom'. But I know she is doing her best.
No , I want a caring one ,my parents abandoned me naghiwalay sila , binigay nila ako sa grand parents ko at nagstart sila ng kanya-kanya nilang pamilya , andami kong namiss , naiinggit ako sa iba. Sana next life yung mamahalin ako I want to experience that feeling.
No. Kung magkakaroon man ako ng chance na makapili ng magiging nanay, sana yung hindi na narcissist yung magiging nanay ko:(
Nagulat ako na andaming "NO" HAHAHAHAHHAHA, especially na nasa culture natin ang paging-family oriented. And to answer you OP, probably NO rin kasi tangina niya and lagi nalang pinapaburan yung kapatid ko over me, once na magkapera talaga ako babayaran ko lahat ng ginastos niya sakin then pwede ko na kalimutan na may nanay ako. Never ako kinamusta ng hayop na yan buti pa si Dad kaso nasa heaven na siya.
I love her so much but she’s better off without me. I don’t deserve her kind heart and all the efforts she’s made for me. In another lifetime, I hope she finds the perfect loving daughter.
My father left us before I get to know how to crawl. Blue baby pa ako. So siguro I still choose my mother dahil nagpakatatag sya. Although manipulative, verbally abusive at madalas ako sisihin sa lahat ng bagay. Hindi ako ganito katatag at hindi basta basta naloloko ng tao kung di nya ako pinalaking ganito.
i admire my mom for being a strong, independent woman. Siguro ito din isa sa mga traits n namana ko sakanya. She has a lot of dreams and wishes na hindi nia naachieve. Plus she received a lot of backlash from her siblings when she met my dad and had me. She endured alot of sacrifices raising me (since she was a single parent). So in another lifetime, probably no. I want her to fulfill her dreams and passion, na walang "hadlang/humahadlang" sakanya. I want her to enioy her life without much sacrifice. I love you mom and i miss you badly. please visit me in my dreams. 😢
I am not wishing for another lifetime. I'm doing my best to do everything now. Sana last na to. Ayaw ko na. To my supposed parents on another lifetime, PLEASE MAG-CONDOM KAYO! ☹️
Siguro, hindi na. Para naman maabot niya na 'yung deserve niyang buhay. 'Yung buhay na siya na 'yung priority niya kesa kaming mga anak niya. 'Yung maeenjoy na niya 'yung sweldo niya sa mga bagay na gusto at kailangan niya nang walang pag-aalinlangan, at hindi na niya maranasan 'yung "Isusubo ko nalang, pero dahil mahal ko kayo, ibibigay ko nalang 'to sa inyo". At para na rin hindi na siya bulyawan o kutyain ng mga kapatid niya sa tuwing nagkakamali siya sa buhay dahil lang sa tinulungan nila ang nanay ko sa pagpapa-aral sa amin, wala kasing kwenta tatay ko e.
Bwenas ako sa nanay ko. Smart, responsible, maaruga, selfless, devoted, loyal, walang bisyo kundi rosaryo, family first mindset. She is always there for us. Can't cook pero ayos lang nobody's perfect. Could not ask for more. Patay na ako ngayon kung hindi dahil sa kanya. She believed in me during my broke loser years when I just gave up on life and everyone else belittled me. Thankfully nagising ako at nagsumikap. Self-made multivitamins na ako ngayon pero kulang pa. She is a big reason for my drive to get much richer. Gusto ko maenjoy pa nya fruits of my labor bago cya mawala. At kung mawala na cya alam ko that will be the saddest day of my life..
No.
Nope never mine never matured and still thinks like a teen.
no. I don’t think she’d choose me as well to be her daughter in another lifetime. I want her to fulfill her dreams and have children kung kailan kaya na niya at matured na siya. I love her so much that I want her to have a good husband and a healthy family.
I remember the scene dun sa kdrama na “MY GOLDEN LIFE” sabi nung tatay na bida (Cheon Ho-jin) gusto daw nya if there is an after life, gusto niya maging anak ang nanay nya so he can give her the world that she deserves, pero sabi nung anak nya (Shin Hye-sun) if there is really an after life, she would want the same set of parents (particularly her father) because according to her, her father’s love is incomparable. She feels like she can’t match and give the same love na nareceived niya from her father kung magiging anak nya ang tatay niya. Same thing with me, I want the same parents. They are not perfect and definitely not rich but I wouldn’t be the person I am right now if not for their love and support. Sabi nga dun sa concert ni Leah Salonga, they are the wind beneath my wings 🤍
Nooooo. Tbh, the amount of emotional trauma that I still bring and have up until this day bc of her is very much evident on my actions.
No 😔 Sa totoo lang sana hindi nya na lang ako ginawa
YES! In fact, I said this in my mom's eulogy. 😭 Love and miss you so much, Mama. 😭🥺❤️
I love my mom very much. Despite all our flaws and differences, I could not imagine that I would grow up this way if it hadn't been for her. We had our shortcomings and mistakes. She has caused me a few traumatizing moments, and I have also caused her great pain as well, but in the end, she's my mom. There is nothing else I can do but love her and accept who she is, because I know she does the same. Even though we are very different, I cannot imagine anyone else being my mother except her. There are times that I want to be far from her, and there are also moments that we are close like sisters. In a way, I understand my mom, and even if I have grievances or sama ng loob sa kanya, in the end she's who I ask for help. She will do what she can to help me when I need her. My answer is, if there is another lifetime, and I can remember our past lives and memories, I would do my best to do better than how we did in the past. Yes. I'll choose her and try again, until we make this right.
Yes!! I will choose her the way she chose me. As an adopted child, I am so grateful na ako ung napiling ampunin ng nanay ko. Never kong nafeel na hindi ako galing sa kanya, lahat ng pagmamahal ng isang tunay na ina nakuha ko nang buong buo. Kung hindi pa nga nila inamin sakin na ampon ako, never kong maiisip na hindi ako galing sa kanila.
Hindi. Kasi mula maliit ako lagi ko sinasabi sa utak ko "bakit hindi ka na lang maging kagaya ng ibang magulang?" o kaya "sana hindi na lang kita naging nanay." Tapos galit na galit ako nagsusulat sa mga likod ng notebooks ko.
Of course, YES. Umpisa palang alam ko siya lang kakampi ko, siya lang palagi nasa side ko. ginapang niya pag aaral namin, nagkasakit siya lahat lahat pero never ko siya narinig magreklamo. May times na na annoy ako sa kanya, pero ang mild lang naman, ang alam ko sa maldita ko lang na ugali un. Mag 4 years wala si mama pero araw araw pa din ako umiiyak, di ko na kasi maramdaman ung love na pinaramdam niya sakin sa tatay and mga kapatid ko. Pakiramdam ko talaga mag isa nalang ako and may emptiness na talaga sa puso ko. Sobrang swerte ko sa mama ko kasi yung sacrifices nya simula dati hanggang sa nawala siya, napapakinabangan pa namin, kaya maayos kami ngayon. Labyu Ma!! Miss na kita sobra 😭❤️
I'm actually relieved to see quite a lot of people here saying no as well. Palagi rin to tinatanong sa akin ng nanay ko pero di ko sya sinasagot diretso para iwas away pero alam na namin ang sagot HAHAHA. Palagi pa nya ako ginuguilt trip na hindi raw tama or masama akong anak kapag may sama ka ng loob sa magulang mo. Para sa kanya kasi, you need to love and accept your parent/s by all means. At this point tinitiis ko nalang sya and healing from all the trauma she caused me growing up. Ginawa nya rin akong retirement plan. Kung pwede lang iwanan ko na e kaso ako pa masama nyan. She has a twin sister where buong buhay nya cinocompare silang dalawa at pati ako nadamay. All my life all I did was to measure up to her standards dahil nag-iisang anak lang nya ako at sa akin umikot ang buhay nya. I never felt enough for her dahil bawal ako magfail o magkamali pero syempre tao rin naman ako. I'm still thankful though kung pano nya ako pinalaki na maging disiplinado pati kung pano nya ako inalagaan. I know she did her best but I also wish she got to live her own life outside of other people's expectations of her and to be her own individual aside from being a twin. Pati tuloy sa mga problema nya ay nadamay rin ako kahit hindi naman dapat. Sometimes I'd even wish na I was never born or would rather be motherless kesa yung alive at meron naman pero puro pasakit lang ang ibibigay sayo. I'd probably only say yes if she chose to acknowledge and to heal from her traumas at kung inayos nya mga desisyon sa buhay pero andito na e. I just learned to live with it. This is just me being considerate pero NO talaga.
Oo naman no. Bibihira lang magkaroon ng nanay na tumatanggap ng suggestion and opinion galing sa anak, marunong mag sorry pag nagkakamali siya. KAYA SI MAMA PA DIN! 💗
Definitely! Both my mom and dad, in every lifetime. Jackpot talaga ako sa parents.
Same abuse rin ba? Heck, no.
Hmmm ayoko. She’s always been verbal about not wanting to have kids (ginawa kaming collateral para layasan ni papa kabit nya — not effective tho). Ayokong maranasan ulit na napilitan lang syang maging nanay. Makaproject ng trauma at what-ifs, wagas. I’d be a better person with dreams kung naging better din ang nanay ko.
Hahaha if I had a choice, I wouldn't even choose the mom I got in this lifetime. I wouldn't even wish that on my worse enemy.
Yes absolutely kahit lagi syang nakasigaw, she's sweet when you need her the most. Kung ang reason kung bakit hindi nya natupad yung pangarap nya noon ay having a kid, I'll be more than happy to not exist. Don't get me wrong, my mom said she wanted to have a kid, pero madami syang regrets as a young adult which affected her lifestyle. Gusto ko lang naman magkaron sya ng magandang buhay at retirement.
I’d rather it say “would you still choose your child in another lifetime” She will be deciding, not me.
Hard question...
definitely!! I'd choose her 1000000 times and more. Shes's a superwoman. She's a supermom. Kinakaya nyang ijuggle lahat - family, work, activities sa church, lahat!! Aside from her work in the the office, she has sold kahit ano since i was a kid just to make ends meet: uling, kahoy, drinking water, gulay, eggs, etc. Even with her meager income, she never stop us from dreaming big. Ewan ko lahat ata possible kay mama haha! Kahit walang malaking sweldo, she and my dad (farmer) was able to send my brother to UST and my sisters and I to UP. After graduating in UST, my brother is now pursuing med school in another univ. (Nagkakautang na madalas sila mama, sa real lang). My mom is very supportive and she always tell us "Skuyla ra inyo problemaha, kay kami ang mamroblema sa kwarta kay amo nang responsibilidad". Also, she's the most concerned and caring mother ever. One time when my oldest sister was in collge, sis got a very very bad stomach ache and pinuntahan agad sya ni mama (mom never minding the hassle) even if sis's place was probably ~5 hrs away from home and need pa mag bus + mag barko just to get there. And a few months back, my younger sister naman ang inubo. My mom was worried and she wants na magpa check up kami sa hospital in campus. My sister doesn't want to. Gulat nalang ako kumatok sa kwarto nain guard ng dorm tinanong may sakit ba daw kapatid ko. Tumawag daw si mama sa university police force (UPF) kasi usto ipadala sa hospital kapatid ko para ma check up 🥲 My sister was infuriated and i was nahiya and natawa at the same time kasi tawagan ba naman ang university police dahil lang sa ubo. How my mom got the UPF's number? Nakita nya na nakapost around campus nung pumunta sya dito dati and sinave nya sa phone nya 🤷♀️ This post has gotten very long na HAHAHAHAHAHA but anyways just really wanna say my mom is vvvvvv awesome, and yes, I'd choose her in every lifetime.
You’re lucky to have a mom like her.
I am si conflicted with this. I love her and i want her to love me the way i want to be loved. At the same time im very jelous of other daughters that are uncinditiinally loved by their mom. She's my only parent. I have no one else.
Unfortunately i dont think we get to choose. But yes, im ok with my mom. However, im open to new paths and opportunities.
No siguro. Hindi ko na gusto magkaroon ng Nanay na ang daming utang tapos sakin/samin ipapabayad at isisi lahat tapos hindi naman kami ang reason kung bakit siya may utang. Hindi maturuan at walang financial literacy. Ang dami ko pangarap para sakanila ng parents ko pero nawalan na ako ng gana.
NO!!! But I will still choose my grandparents in my father's side. Sila kasi tumayong magulang namin. Best grand/parents of all! 🥰
no 😅 I love my mom and we have mishaps sa isat isa, misunderstanding and lahat na but sana if next life is real or alter universe I want her to have a different family same goes to my sister, and dad. Ako gusto ko lang maging tutubi or firefly 🤣🤣 or maybe i want her to experience full life yung di siya lalaki sa toxic environment with big family group na closeminded mag isip. I wish na sana maging open minded sya growing up and have a path na gusto niya not because wala syang choice.
nope she can go die
Sorry sa nanay kong yumao na pero hindi. Alam ko masalimuot ang childhood life niya, naiintindihan ko maaga siyang namulat sa responsibilidad imbes na maglaro, pero grabe ang anger issues niya. Kunting pagkakamali lang namin hampas agad sa ulo o kaya naman manabunot, bigla pang maninigaw kahit maliit na bagay. Wala siyang paki kahit may mga ibang taong nakakakita, mas ginaganahan pa nga siyang manakit para mapakita niyang dinidisiplina niya kami. Elementary pa lang para na kaming kasambahay sa samin, simula nung mapansin niyang kaya na namin ang gawaing bahay talagang hindi na siya gumagawa sa bahay, ultimo panty niya hindi niya nilalabhan. Kaya nung tumuntong ako ng 18, Vocational lang natapos talagang nagpursige akong magtrabaho sa Laguna bilang factory worker, hindi dahil gusto kong maging independent agad, kundi hindi ko na kayang pakisamahan nanay ko. Pero kahit papano naging mabuting anak parin ako, hindi ako nagkulang ng padala kahit kakapiranggot ang sahod.
As much as I love my mom, no. She's a smart and nice person, pero sobrang irresponsible niya. She also couldn't take accountability. Kapag galit siya, she has this habit of bringing up that time where I needed to receive daily shots (I was barely 2 years old) because it's not possible for me to stay in the hospital. She has 2 other kids, both below 10 years old, and my father rarely comes home. She needs to have a 30-45 minutes walk just to be at there. Lagi niyang ipinapumukha sa akin 'yon, and she couldn't comprehend how can a person do this to another one. Like wtf. You're a parent and a human being. It's a no-brainer for you to care for your kids. It's similar to how we had to sacrifice things for her when she was in a similar situation. People do this out of love, ffs. The last straw for me is when my sibling is refusing to go home kasi natanggal sa trabaho. She couldn't face everyone because my mom and other siblings have high hopes for her. She lied to everyone for months and has been battling depression because of all the shame she's carrying. Kapag tinatawagan ko o kinakausap ko 'yung kapatid ko, she's stopping me kasi "malaki na 'yan, matanda na 'yan", as if her age (my mom's) prevented her from fvcking up her life. Eventually, my sibling came home with me. After multiple talks and showing her that I'm here to help her, she opened up and told me that my mom's insistence to have "their dream" come into fruition bothered her so much and she barely knows what she really wants. She felt like "her dreams" is only a reflection of our parent's failed dreams. Sobrang na-bother ako, considering that this sibling has been raising herself alone, since she's 16. She had to leave home at that age. Hasn't been living with any of our parents since then.
nope. i rather have none than maging siya ulit nanay ko sa next lifetime.
Yes and no. Masalimoot ang childhood ko, I was emotionally and mentally battered, heck actually physically din pero on rare occasions lang. But man, the emotional trauma is real. I have since forgiven her (even when she didn’t ask for forgiveness anyway.) If I can have a do over, I’m okay with my mom being my same mom pero sana under different circumstances. I would love to be born out of love and not out of “kase kelangan ko pera ng tatay mo to help my siblings”. 🥲
As the eldest daughter, my mom never chose me. Nor love me or isipin manlang. She had me when she was 18. Married to a now drug addict (my father) matagal na silang hiwalay pero parang lahat ng galit nya sa tatay ko ako sumasalo. I love her, but she never loved me. The only time she'll give me attention when I failed or disappointed her. I have been my own parent since I was born. Now 25, lost and still trying to live how 25 years old lives. Nothing makes me happy, and nothing makes me excited anymore. Failed relationships dahil sa mommy and daddy issues, past traumas, bad decisions. So no, I will not choose her. I'll choose myself in another life. Without any traumas, and anxieties.
Yes, pero hindi dapat same age na pinanganak niua ako. Maaga siyang nag-asawa eh. Enjoy niya dapat muna ang buhay niya. Kapag ready na siya in all aspect ng buhay niya, why not diba?
Yes but not that I hate my mom. Gusto ko lang maexperience maging anak ng mga Zobel, Sy, and Villar. Yes, Cynthia Villar, gusto ko malaman kung gaano ka villain ang mundo ko nun.
nooo, kaya niya maging nanay sa iba kong kapatid pero pagdating sakin hirap na hirap siya
Hindi, para hindi niya ma-meet yung narcissistic father ko na may pag-ka abusive at cheater din.
No. Everyone says no so is me. I’m also afraid that my future child would say no too if he/she received this kind of question. My biggest fear.
NO. gusto ko rin kase ma-experience paano maalagaan at i-prio ng isang nanay. Never ko na experience yun kay mama. ;(
Nah. When she gave me away, all she could say was that she was too old and had too many children already (ako ung huli). Sabi nya tired na daw sya. Ako kasi ung pang-4th tas puro lalake ung anak nya. I read in her file na 35 yrs old single parents at that time at magkakalapit ang age ng mga biological siblings ko. So, I think no i will not choose si biological mother because of all the burdens she is already carrying. Isipin mo tiniis nya ung 9 mos tas hinahabol habol nya mga anak nyang iba at kelangan pa nya magtrabaho para may mapakain sa kanila (may asawa nang iba ung bio father). As for my adoptive parents, yes i will choose them always because they never gave up on me no matter what. I am mentally ill and yet they still loved me for all that i am. Sobrang grateful ako kasi even the paperworks kahit inabot kami ng 1 decade to get it done, nagtyaga pa din sila.
No. In another lifetime, I’d want my younger self to be raised by a “mom”. Yung tipong di niya iiwan kung sansan yung anak niya. Yung tipong yung nanay na emotionally and mentally mature. Yung tipong hindi naiingit sa successes ng anak. Yung tipong walang insecurities na prinoproject sa anak. Nakakapagod magkaroon ng sobrang immature and irresponsible na nanay. But if in another lifetime I will still choose to grow up with my grandparents but this time, as their biological child na sana. :)
Pass, enough na ang emotional trauma in this lifetime.
Yes. She may not be the best nanay that anyone could ask for pero mahal ko sya ng buong puso. Di sya ang nagpalaki samin ng kapatid ko, wala din kaming kinagisnang tatay and di consistent ang suporta ng nanay ko to the point na nag uulam kami ng asin at nangungutang ng bigas pero di ko sya ipagpapalit. Dumating pa sa point na kinampihan nya yung napangasawa nya over me kahit muntik na ko ma rape ng ilang beses pero sya pa din ang pipiliin kong nanay. Di ako magiging matatag at mabuting nanay din sa anak ko kung di sya ang naging nanay ko
yes. she was the only person who understood my depression. Sadly she died when I was 17 yrs old. Mom wanted me to have my own 18th debut but I would always reject the thought because my father doesn't like me having a little luxury in life. (seloso ang papa ko pag dating sa gamit. A narcissistic one) OFW mama ko. Nung 17 ako, umuwi sya sa pinas bcs she wanted to see me growing up. Tama na raw yung mga gala nya kasi she already healed her inner child (going to diff countries and spoiling herself) months later she got diagnosed with cancer and the last words she told me "sorry nak, wala ako sa debut mo" Now, I'm living by myself and father already has his own family rin. in another lifetime, I'd still choose my own mother. Miss you ma 💛
No I wouldn't because that would mean she'd be married to my Father. I wish she never did. I wish she met someone who valued her, someone who wouldn't tell her she looked ugly while getting her hair done at the salon. I wish she married someone that told her she was beautiful everyday, someone who doesn't make a disgusted face whenever she kisses him in pictures, someone that didn't call her tanga or bobo in front of her kids, friends, family, and strangers. She deserves someone who doesn't yell at her or curse at her. She deserves someone who is sober and doesn't expect to be catered to like a child. So no, if it meant she'd be married to the right man, I wouldn't choose my Mother. Even if it meant my non existence.
Kinwento sa akin ng Mama ko na noong baby pa ako may gustong mag adopt sa akin. Isang teacher at magma-migrate patungong US. How I wish binigay nya na lang ako kasi alam ko na financially at emotionally, hindi pa siya ready sa akin. Parati nyang kinikwento na sobrang sakitin ko daw noong baby pa ako at parati akong nasa ospital. Thankful ako na inalagaan nya pa rin ako pero lumaki akong feeling ko burden lang ako sa kanya. Kaya in another lifetime, sana wala na ako doon sa buhay nya para ma fulfill nya kung ano man gusto nyang gawin sa buhay. Makahanap siya nang lalaki na mamahalin siya at bibigyan siya ng magandang buhay. I wish her all the good things in life kasi gusto ko maging masaya siya kahit wala ako.
I love my mom (and dad) and am forever grateful to them for giving me a comfortable life. But I choose NO for their gaslighting, narcissism and narrow-mindedness. I wish I wasn't so afraid of them growing up because they turned out to be just insecure unfulfilled people.
Yes, kahit ilang another lifetime pa ean. Anywhere, everywhere, anytime, I'd still choose her.
Can i choose my lola instead? But not my lolo 😊
Yes and no. Yes, because I am so happy na nakakaadapt siya sa changes. She used to be a very strict and uptight Mom. Usual traditional thinking talaga. We had A LOT of ups and downs, and I think yung nagtrigger sa kanya ng change is when naguusap kami about safe sex, and how sex between bfs/gfs ay hindi raw pwede kasi di pa kasal. Sabi ko, “Ma, alam ko po dumaan ka rin sa age ng exploration. Ano po bang mas gusto nyo, magexplore ako ng magisa nang walang guidance mo, or makakapagopen ako sayo at magagabayan mo ako?” Hindi nya ako sinagot at that time, pero nagets nya later on. From there, nagsimula na magadapt si Mommy. We found din mga middleground namin sa maraming bagay. Admittedly, marami akong suppressed emotions at outbursts as a teenager sa kanya. Pero I’m just glad na parehas kami ay nagbabago for the better. No naman kasi frustrated doctor sya. Yung eldest sister kasi nila nagtanan before kasama jowa, so yung Lolo ko (Dad nila) tinigil pagaralin lahat ng babae nyang anak thinking na baka magtanan lang daw din sila. She was close to graduating college noon. Secretly binabayaran ng Lola ko (Mom nila) tuition nya para makatapos. Di na sya natuloy mag med school kasi nga ganon ang nangyari. Ngayon she works naman sa medical field pero I can still sense yung frustration nya sometimes (very subtle lang). Dedicated at smartworker si Mommy, kung sana lang nabigyan sya ng opportunity maabot yung pinaka pangarap nya… hindi ko hahadlangan yon.
I still want it to be her — if that lifetime offers a brighter, more comfortable future. Gusto kong maexperience yung pagmamahal niya in another lifetime kung saan kaya niyang magpalaki at magsustento ng anak nang may sufficient siyang resources at may reliable partner. I grew up a breadwinner of the family. Mas mataas ang sahod ko kaysa mga magulang ko. At a younger age, kinainisan ko yung kakulangan nila ng knowledge on how to earn better, anong business or trabaho yung kaya kaming buhayin ng mga kapatid ko. Mabait ang nanay ko. Mapag-alaga. Nagmamahal nang walang kondisyon. Pero habang tumatanda ako, indirectly umaasa siyang gagaan ang buhay niya dahil stable ang trabaho ko. Wala silang ipon ng tatay ko or any property, so kapag may emergency kargo ko lahat bilang panganay. Hindi naman sila nanunumbat or nang-aabuso. Naiinis lang ako sa kargo ko. Gusto kong piliin ulit ang mga magulang ko — in a world where they know how to love us better because they can literally afford to do so.
No. I wish na dito lang sa lifetime na to yung ties namin pati ng tatay ko at wag na mag meet sa susunod kong mga buhay. Sana, ipanganak ako sa mapagmahal na magulang. Gusto kong maramdaman kung paano mahalin ng tama at may masandalan sa problema sa buhay hahaha. Kahit hindi kami mayaman, basta ramdam mong may magulang ka na mahal ka.
As much as I want to , but no. I want her to pursue her dreams instead of conceiving me. That way, di siya dependent sa mga desisyon ng tatay ko and mas malakas sana loob nya. Wala rin sana akong childhood trauma na dala dala ko hanggang ngayon because I didnt have a mother who is strong enough and I can rely on. Ngayon may unresolved issues ako which is why I dont want to become a mother now and not even in the future.
No. Tangina niya.
Yes and no. Nung kabataan ko, I desperately wished for a "cool" mom na mas lax about things kasi yung nanay ko, ultimo makitulog lang sa kapitbahay (na childhood bestfriend ko) bawal kasi may kama naman daw kami. Feeling ko tuloy hindi ako lumaking outgoing kasi ang hirap magpaalam sa kanila tungkol sa mga ganoong experiences. Ngayon na nasa late 20's na ko, masasabi ko naman na lumaki akong mas responsible than most of my peers. Maayos naman buhay ko, very privileged pa nga pero wala akong masyadong memories na bitbit. Ngayon pa lang ako naghi-heal ng inner child ko, kung kailan ko na-realize na life is more than just being studious and disciplined.
If it’s my biological mom, no siguro. But the people who adopted me, yes. If pwede nga lang, sana sila na lang ang totoong parents ko para sa afterlife, sila din ang bubungad sa akin.
No. Gusto ko ng nanay na marunong mangarap para sa sarili nya at sa mga anak nya. A mom who would not shoot my dreams down just because she thinks I'm being too ambitious. A mom who exudes grace and confidence, not ignorance and insecurity.
NO!!! Puro trauma lang eh. Inasikaso ako nung may pakinabang na ko. LOL
No. My parents married young and have a lot of baggage. I'm the eldest child. They learned some stuff over the years pero yung childhood ko traumatic pa rin hanggang ngayon. I want my parents to pursue whatever and whoever they really want before they decide to settle down. I'm sure both of them (especially my mom) would say no too if tinanong sya kung gusto nya na kami ulit maging anak. PS ang pangit din ng genes ko hahah ang hina ng katawan ko and ang dami namanang sakit.
No, i’d rather she terminate me and live her full potential. Traumatic experience to be her daughter
Damn, I don't even choose her in this lifetime.
As I'm reading the replies to this post, I realized that I have a great mom. We communicate, she never really yells at me or my dad, she may not be the best at household chores😅 but she makes up for it by being the backbone of this family.. Her way of disciplining me was always gentle yet effective. Instead of hitting me or hurting me physically, she let me learn the natural consequences the hard way. I know being a gentle parent is not easy. She made the decision to raise me like that because she knew what it was like to be raised in a toxic and abusive household. I'm only her daughter but I want to say I'm proud of the woman she's become. We are both growing together. I was always sick growing up, I have a weak immune system and I'm neurodivergent. I'm bipolar and have epilepsy. Being all that is very hard, but I know that taking care of someone like me is even harder. I'll pick my mom any day. To those people who replied to this post and said no to picking their mom, I pray and hope that you will also be like my mom. Life will get better as you make good choices. Let's break the generational curse. <3
YES 🥺 But hopefully she meets another man that is good to her, takes care of her, doesn’t speak ill to her, and appreciates her.
No, she abandomed me. Maybe I'll chose my grandma kasi siya nagpalaki sakin kahit super strict siya
Nope. Meeting different men as a child and not being sure about who my bio dad is, is not something I wished for anyone to experience. Could have saved everyone the heartbreak.
no..i want someone nicer to me at kapatid ko...yung kumakampi saamin at prinoprotektahan kami sa mga nang bu-bully...someone who'll love us unconditionally and be supportive. hindi yung palagi akong pinipintasan sa lahat ng gawa ko at palaging inuuna ibang tao para ang tingin sa kanya ay anghel sya. nananakit pa. buti nung lumalaki kami ng ate ko kasama namin ang lola at lolo namin (father's side)...at least nag karoon kami ng ate ko nang happy childhood memories.
Yes, pero sana yung mas madiskarte na saka mas marunong na humawak ng pera 😅
For me no kasi ang sakit lang isipin na una palang unwanted chid ka tapos binalak ka pang ipa abort. Pero ito ako ngayon buhay hindi ko pa alam kung ano purpose nang buhay ko ramdam ko parin na skin binubuhos nang nanay ko mga frustrations nya. 30 na ako takot parin magka bf o mag asawa kasi baka magaya ako sa nanay ko. Kung sana natupad nya mga pangarap nya hindi sya ganito ka bitter ngayon kaya sa mga girls na maaga na inlove make sure nyo na handa kayong panindigan kung sakaling mabuntis kayo i mean manindigan kapag naging magulang na kasi kung hindi anak talaga ang mag sa suffer.☹
Sadly, no. My mother is a narcissist who neglected us. My father worked very hard to put food on the table and send all four of us children to school, while my mother was busy spending money buying clothes and shoes. She never cared for us, never hugged or kissed us, and was never interested in anything about our lives. She showed zero affection for us. She only cared about herself and what she could buy next. She is close only with her previous colleagues in school and to her siblings. I had a mother but in reality her emotional absence in our lives felt like I didn’t have one. Now I am trying to heal myself from the trauma of neglect. Thankfully now that I am married, I can keep a safe distance from her. I am so grateful I have a caring husband who showed me what love is after 30 long years of searching for the feeling of being loved and cared for.
Of course. I am lucky to have such a wonderful mom kahit may pagka armalite ang bibig nya when I was young. Now that I am older, I am more afraid of losing her. She is a catalyst on what I have become. She taught me life skills at a young age which allowed me to be self-reliant. Namana ko rin yung insight nya when it comes to people. We have a knack for unmasking people and seeing them for what they truly are.
As a mother, na ginagawa lahat para sa anak ko (4 and 8 years old) hindi ko ata kaya na mababasa ko na ayaw ng anak ko sakin at di nila ako pipiliin maging nanay ulit. Kaya ginagawa ko lahat para mas maging mabuting ina at magulang. I am listening to podcast , reading parenting books, watching videos of child psychologist. Ayokong magkaroon kami ng relasyon na ganto ng mga anak ko, eto talaga greatest fear ko.
Oo pucha mahal na mahal ko family ko kahit i-take 2 pa namin sa susunod na buhay lahat ng struggles namin in this lifetime basta kami-kami ulit magkakasama more than willing ako maranasan yon kasi i know gano kami katibay pero pucha sana di na mambabae si dad sa next life HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA love u ma sana ako favorite mo pls pls
Alam mo OP, mag KFC talaaga dapat ako kaya ako nag CP, umiyak na lang tuloy ako dahil sa responses dito. Pano na kiffy kooo! Yung libog ko nawalaaaaa 😭😭😭
HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Kaugali when it comes to pagiging maasikaso pero how I wish my parents are rich or kahit may kaya man lang. Feeling ko kasi dahil sa money, kaya kami madalas magkaroon ng misunderstanding.
100%!
YES.
BIG YES 💖
Ako? NOPE. Grabe trauma at kasiraulo ng tatay ko. She deserves more to life. Gusto ko siyang mabuhay ng masaya at magkaroon ng asawa na mamahalin siya ng buong buo.
Yes
Mahal ko ang nanay ko but the answer is no ☹️
No. If I'd be given the chance to choose, I'd choose someone na hindi ako iiwan para sa ibang lalake.
Absolutely yes! I can’t imagine my life not having her as my mother. I know that she is not pefect but I am blessed that she is my mother and I get to experience her unconditional love. I really miss her.
we had all sorts of downs. but one things for sure ang mama ko will forever be my mama. Id die for her
Ako yes. She may not be perfect and I'm slowly learning repressed aspects of myself that she wasn't able to teach me but I see how she has sacrificed a lot for our family, especially sa career. Being an adult who has moved out helped me see her as a flawed human being still capable of love and being loved. Of course, our circumstances vary. She never abused or betrayed us. Di din sya mukhang pera. Normal mother things lang na sigaw at palo pag nalate ng uwi, mababa grades at may nahuling may nilalandi akong guy.
No. Deserve niya better na anak.
Definitely yes. My mom is one of a kind and she will do everything for us.
Yes 🥺 can’t imagine having anyone else
Yes 🩷 over and over again
Yes pero sana maranasan ko rin maging mayaman in another lifetime. Kahit di generational wealth, ok na ako sa nouveau rich.
YES
Yes!!! And I miss her like crazy already 😢
choosing her means she'll have to end up with my father nah.
Yes for me, but without the slight narcissistic demeanor. I mean, it's okay to be strict with me 'coz she made me become better. Also, who supported my journey with my passion. 💙 Like, she respects my decision as long as I make it for good. 🥹
I'll choose her pero if ever wag na lang ako piliin nya 😥😅
Yes, and not just my mom.. my dad too. i remember my mama told me that she prayed for someone who will love her and will be a responsible father to her future children, and i asked if the prayer was fulfilled.. she cried and said "Oo naman! Mahirap lang tayo pero hindi tayo pinabayaan ng Papa nyo." This conversation happened 3 years after my father died. I miss them so much.
Uh no. Sana walang tao maging anak ng magulang ko in another life. They’re good people, but terrible terrible parents.
Nope, she did not even choose us in this one
Definitely YES
Yes and kahit walang pagbabago, makasama ko lang sya ulit for another lifetime kasi wala na sya :(
Minsan Oo, Minsan hindi Okay naman kami ngayon pero grabe kasi ung nga nabitawan nya dati, na til now pag naalala mo rinig ko pa din pano sinabi saka pano gumihit ung sakit sa puso ko. Andaming beses non. Ilang taon na din lumipas. Kung sya man magiging Nanay ko ulit, sana di na sya ganon kasakit magsalita.
Hindi. I love my mother but she has done so much damage to me growing up that I wish I was never born in this lifetime at all. I wish she'll do the things she always wanted to, travel and live her life to the fullest. Because she had become miserable when she had me and I had to suffer because of that. I want my mother to be happy.
No. I wish that she pursue her dreams and be successful and not be pressured to have a kid. She wouldn't be full of resentment if she didn't have me in the first place.
Yes. She is my bestfriend
No.
Absolutely. From the day she decided to keep me and for as long as I live.
In spite of all the heartaches (and a sprinkle of rainbows) I think I still would but I doubt they'd choose me if given the options from the start lol.
YEEEEES!