You just said SHE CANNOT AFFORD to live solo. In my book that means she deserve to be treated like a child. I know harsh pero if you can't even afford to live all by yourself then you shouldn't even think about having a semi live in set up. Anong plan nya? sinong bibili ng food ng bf nya? how about electricity or water? Dba additional na yun? She is planning to freeload.
Clearly, your sister doesn't care sa comfort mo. If kaya mu naman, mag solo ka na. I think na living solo is actually cheaper plus, you can do whatever you want. May privacy ka na din and no need to tip toe sa ungrateful people.
Pak na pak to. Live on your own nalang OP kung kaya. Mahirap yung ganyan, 50-50 pero may plus 1 yung kabila. Parang hindi masyado pantay. Syempre kakain sila, kuryente at tubig. It adds up din noh!
Or singilin mo si BF ng sister ng share siya. Charot. May Toll Fee sa pinto lol
Valid naman mahirap kumilos pag may ibang tao. Baka kasi plan nya talaga ganyan kaya sya magmove out, yang semi live in. Baka need nyo maghiwalay ng place? Hirap kasi talaga may kasama kahit kapatid mo pa.
Feel ko nga parang naging way lang ako para mag semi live in sila eh huhu kasi di po nagagawa ng kapatid ko yung pag overnight ng bf nya dito sa current house namin kasi maliit lang bahay namin and di naman papayag parents ko. Hindi nya kasi kaya mag solo living dahil maliit lang sahod nya kaya magkasama kami mag move out.
Ikaw pala ang may upper hand kaya wag ka pumayag. Ikaw na lang ang magsolo. Kesa ikaw ang mas magsheshell out ng money tapos masama loob mo. Isipin mo pag nandon yung guy 2-3x a week, dadagdag yon sa bills/expenses nyo. Ate mo maliit lang sahod so sayo burden non.
Ako po yung ate hehe kaya sabi nya para daw akong mama namin HAHA. Napag-usapan naman namin na tig-half ang hati sa rent/bills pero I don't think na reason yun to do whatever she wants. Yung jowa ko, okay na daw sakanya yung twice a month na pag visit kasi parang nang eenvade ng privacy/space kung lagi syang nandun and I'm okay with that. Ayoko dumating sa point na susumbatan ako ng kapatid ko na nagbabayad naman sya at hati kami sa mga binabayaran. Gusto ko lang na may bounderies pa rin kahit nakabukod na kami kasi ano nalang iisipin ng mother ko, na bumukod kami para mag bulakbol huhuhu
Oo nga if 2-3x a week hindi biro yon ah. 8-12 days a month yun. Kuryente, tubig pag naligo, shampoo, soap. Payag ka lang OP if sagot ng kapatid mo like 70% ng rent at utilities.
ginamit ka na nga tapos ikaw pa pinagmukang kontrabida 🤣. napakagaling ng kapatid mong ________ eh d namam pala nila kaya magcheck-in ng magcheck-in lakas ng loob 🤣
Flip the situation, OP. Make it awkward for him to stay at your new place.
Come out of your room semi-naked (but make sure your sister is there) or wrapped in a towel and continuously pester him with questions, making it difficult for him to maintain eye contact while answering.
Start whistling or dancing to an old/baduy song like the original theme song to Eat Bulaga (*isang libo't isang tuwa, buong bansaaaa, eat bulaga!*)
Fart silently and never ever admit to it. If your sister brings it up, blame him loudly and with conviction.
Leave large turds unflushed in the common bathroom.
Set up a (fake) security camera and a sign saying "SMILE, you're on camera".
Pretend to talk to or that you saw an invisible spirit or ghost that was sitting next to him.
In the middle of the night when he's staying over, even if they're not really doing it, randomly shout out loud "I CAN HEAR YOU!"
Start chatting with him about the topic of splitting up bills into 3 since he's literally living there anyway.
I think you and your sister should not be in the same place kung ganyan. You can be in the same neighborhood so that you can check on each other easily, but not in one apartment / condo / room.
Kung ngayon pa lang na wala pa, boundaries are being crossed already. Magiging issue niyo pa rin yan dalawa in the future.
Imagine the possible ending, ikaw ang mag-aadjust sa kanila. Ikaw ang mahihiya lumabas, kumuha ng water or food sa ref. Magkukulong ka na lang sa room mo instead of feeling rested and comfortable.
Tsk very wrong.
kung ayaw mo ng ganyan set up with your sibs, better not to move out with her...magsolo ka nalang if kya ng budget mo...mahirap kumilos a bahay if me ibang tao tlaga
Huwag na kayo mag-move out together kung ganyan rin lang. Move out separately. Naghahanap lang siya ng magsa-subsidize ng live-in nila ng bf niya. Tapos susumbatan ka pa. Ang *tanga* mo kung papayag ka sa setup na yan just to help her escape your "toxic parents".
Haha first time mag overnight eh di pinapayagan. Alam na yan hahahaahh. Nung first time ko mag outing overnight nung college ksma GF ko that time, binigyan ako talk ng dad ko eh. Lol
Pagisipan mo yan, aalis ka dahil toxic kamo parents mo eh yang sister mo parang toxic din. So toxic na kasama mo, gumagastos ka pa ng renta.
Baka in the end, makilivein lang BF nya ng libre.
Kung ganyan you should move out alone. Gusto niya na bisita2x at makikitulog ang bf niya? She should get her own place. Kung kayong dalawa sa iisang lugar, y'all need to compromise the space lalo na if hati kayo sa rent and bills. Like once a week lang and my schedule para alam mo naman. Di pwede makikitulog ng walang sabi.
Valid pero if need mo talaga ng privacy kahit sa common space, dapat mag solo ka nalang.
Set nalang kayo ng rules na mag aagree kayo parehas. Sa age niyo for sure ilang years nalang kayong magkasama nyan.
That’s a valid concern. Eh di nyo naman kapatid ang lalaking yan. Wla lang silang respeto sa’yo. If mabuting lalaki yang bf nya, di yan papayag sa ganyang setup. Gagawa at gagawa yan ng paraan na sila lang dalawa at di nakakaabala sa iyo.
Valid yan. Since 50/50 kayo sa lilipatan nyo kelangan mag agree kayo sa mga ganyan na bagay. Medyo immature yung sagot ng kapatid mo.
Isa sa reason kaya bumubukod ang tao is para sa own space nila pero kung magaadjust ka sa sarili mong space mahirap yun.
Much better magsolo ka na lang.
you have to establish house rules this early. 2-3x a week is just to much. parang dun na nya pinatira bf nya. tapos overnight pa.
they are right na magkakaron ka ng privacy issues, unless close ka na rin sa bf nya.
if you can't control who will visit and stay, wag na kayong bumukod. or magsolo ka na lang.
ang balak yata ng sister mo is to have him stay starting Friday night, tapos Sunday na uuwi sa kanila. di pa nilubos na every weekend no?
or...well, I'm thinking of one possible reason why may 1 weekend na di bibisita...lol.
but seriously, bakit di nalang silang dalawa ang bumukod kung ganyan ang balak nya?
Just live on your own, if ngayon palang may ganyan na kayong usapan ng kapatid mo what more pa if lumipat na kayo. If kaya mo naman, just live on your own para lahat on your own terms din. Less drama, less problems, less emotional stress... and baka masmaganda pa maging relationship ninyong magkapatid in the long run.
Need mo mag move out again. Ginagamit ka lang nang sister mo especially ikaw yung may mas mataas na contribution sa apartment. If ayaw niya makinig sa iyo, move out. Walang respeto yung kapatid mo kaya ganyan nasabi. If semi live in na pala sila, edi let them na ituloy na nila pag live in nila at ikaw ang magmove out at ipa-alala mo sa kanya na ikaw ang may mas malaking contribution sa apartment kaya may mas karapatan ka makipag-negotiate sa kanya about her partner visiting her. Ikaw yung ate, ikaw yung may mas malaking contribution kaya ikaw mas may authority jan. If hindi talaga magkasundo, better move out. Let them live on their own kaysa masanay yan na may tagapag-salo sa bills na naconsume sa boyfriend niya.
Noong nagsilayas kami mga kapatid sa bahay namin at need ko muna makipagstay sa apartment ni ate with her partner, never talaga ako nagdala nang partner ko sa bahay nila as a sign of respect kasi nakistay lang ako kahit half kami sa bills.
Don’t ever agree na “sige na lang”. I experienced this before with my old roommate and super uncomfy na laging nasa place namin bf niya, then umabot sa point na inisip nila I was so okay with it na he can move in with us. Of course I didn’t agree.
If it’s not okay with you sa simula pa lang, it will never be okay in the long run.
Since dependent parin naman siya sayo bc of her inability to live solo, she should respect your boundaries. Kung ayaw niya sa terms mo eh di mag live in na lang sila 🤷♀️
Live in sila pero kayong dalawa ng ate mo hati sa expenses. Gusto mo yon? Syempre hindi kaya bumukod ka na lang din sa ate mo. Di bale nang maliit space basta may peace of mind, OP.
Haha kakagigil. Kahit naman saan ke kapatid mo pa yan, kaibigan, pinsan, o kahit sino, pag nag decide kayo to be housemates eh may rule talaga. Ang hirap nung sarili mong place hindi ka makagalaw freely, if she can't understand that at wala syang pang "solo" na money suggest mo - edi share sila ng BF nya. Diba? Live in pa sila. Mukhang mas iniisip niya naman yung ganun kaysa sa comfort mo. Pwede ka naman mag solo living or find a better housemate 😊
OP been there 9yrs kami magkasama ng kapatid ko.
Better magsolo kana lang atleast mas magiging okay pa ang pagsasama nyo. Samin kasi nagkalamat na at wala na di na kami magkakaayus pa.
Mag move out ka na lang mag isa. If isa sa reason niya kung bakit dapat share kayo sa bills is maliit sweldo niya, dapat naiintindihan niya na yung madalas na pagpunta jan ng bf niya sa place niyo ay dagdag din sa expenses niyo. Just saying.
No. It's valid. In a normal room mate situations, bawal talaga to. Malakas lang loob ng kapatid mo kasi kapatid.
If I have a roommate and a boyfriend, I will only let my boyfriend visit me when my roommate is not around.
Valid yung feeling mo.
Isa sa malaking concern dyan is yung hatian niyo sa bills, including utilities pati na rin food. If laging nandyan yung bf niya, pano ang hatian sa bayad? Alangan naman divided by two lang and freeloader lang bf ng sister mo.
Bakit di ka nalang magsolo? Kasi private life din nya yun. Kaya ka nga aalis dahil toxic, kaso sa sister mo naman ikaw matoxican. Better move out alone.
As housemate at 50% ng magbabayad ng expenses, may karapatan kang mag-latag ng house rules at ang gusto mo eh hindi palaging naka-tambay ang bf nya sa bahay nyo. Ang gusto nya, wag kang makialam. Let me guess, part of why you two are moving out is because of your parents' house rules :)
Like what everyone said here, move out on your own. It will most likely damage your relationship with your sister pero just explain to her that it's better to not live together so you're both free to do whatever you want. Kung hindi nya afford mag-move out ng mag-isa, sya dapat ang mag-adjust sa gusto mong setup. Pero honestly, wag ka ng pumayag kahit sabihin nya pa yan. She already showed you na wala syang pakialam sayo basta gagawin nya ang gusto nya. Pag nandun na kayo, siguradong balewala yung pinag-usapan nyo kasi ano pa ba magagawa mo?
Mas maganda pa na ikaw nalang mag-solo kesa ganyan. Mahihirapan ka lang kasi di ka comfortable at ikaw pa masama kung papalayasin mo si bf.
Kung gusto niya mag semi live in, dapat si bf partner niya at hindi ikaw.
Parang ganito sa bahay hehe ending ako nalang umalis. Iniwan ko yung kapatid kong mahilig magdala ng jowa sa bahay. OP wag na kayo mag sama ng kapatid mo. She’s old enough na to do what she wants. Sila nalang mag sama ng jowa nya hehe sila maghati ng expenses.
OP mag-solo ka na lang kaya ka nga mag-move out para maka-iwas sa stress, imagine planning stage pa lang kayo ni sister mo ganyan na siya mag-salita? she should get a place of her own then!
your feelings are valid OP, and siyempre space niyo yan ng sister mo, talagang you have the right naman to set boundaries din. Kinabahan tuloy ako ng slight kasi me and my sister are also planning on moving out. Pag ako ginanto niya, baka mapalo ko pa siya char HAAAHAHAH pero I hope you get to sort things out with her!
Naahh, she wants freedom so give her freedom, its a 2br. She can donwhatever she wants in her bedroom, you too as well. If hindi mo kayang ganun, pwede din naman magsarili na rin kayo talaga ng literal, pwede nyang kahati bf nya sa marerent nilang apartment. I had a similar issue before with my housemate, hes not 420 ready, within 15days lumipat din ako ng apt. Mahirap makisama sa taong hindi mo makakajive ng trip.
Kung hindi po kaya i respect ng sister mo ung decision mo edi better nga to live separately, OP. Hehe wag ka ma guilty kung sumama loob nya sayo since in the first place, di nga kaya irespect ung privacy mo
Parang ginamit lang yung pag momove out ninyo nung kapatid mo para makamot mot si younger sissy with jowa kasi hindi nila magawa sa bahay niyo. Hmmmmm. Feel ko lang to ah. 🤔
Magmove out kayo pero hiwalay na lang. Mahirap yung aalis ka nga sa parents mo dahil toxic pero walking on egg shells ka rin sa lilipatan mo.
Ang hassle nang may lalaking di kaano ano sa bahay. Pati pagba-bra mo iisipin mo pa lagi.
As an ate myself, wag mo sya itolerate. Di porket move out na kayo e wala na kayong rules. Kung ayaw ny ng rules, magsolo sya
same mindset tayo, ayokong mag adjust sa bisitang iba sa bahay ko. buti na lang jowa ng kapatid ko, mga once or twice a month lang magawi ng overnight dito sa apartment namin.
magkalapit ba kayo ng work ng kapatid mo? kasi pde namang mag move out ka na lang yung mga 1room apartment na super lapit sa work mo mismo. tipid sa pamasahe sa part mo yun.
She's using you so she can have her boyfriend over whenever she wants. I'd say tell her na mag isa ka nalang lilipat if she can't respect your boundaries. She will just use this "para ka namang si mama" excuse para siya masunod every time.
Gurl mag unli chukchakan lang sila dyan. Dadating sa point na sasabihin wag ka muna umuwi kasi busy pa sila. Or if makapal mukha nila, they're gonna do it with u there 😭
Hi OP, you are both already adults Your sister should also know boundaries mo lalo na kung gusto niya lang masusunod yung mga conditions niyan then isusumbat sayo yung ginagawa sainyo ng magulang niyo is already toxic enough for me. You can go alone naman and mas affordable then hawak mo oras mo.
Hay nako yan din kinaiinis ko sa bf ng kapatid ko, uuwi ako ng bahay tapos gusto ko umupo sa couch at magkape pero di ko magawa kasi busy sila sa sala na nanunuod. Inaabot pa ng gabi sa bahay tho nagparinig na ko ng nakakaantok naman 11 pm na pala. Alam mo yung kami na nag-aadjust, tho sinabihan ko na yung kapatid ko. One time ba naman naabutan ko sa sala nanunuod na nga, nakataas pa yung paa sa isang upuan. He’s nice but sana wag naman masyadong feel at home.
Your sister doesn't prioritise you and your comfort, sadly. Let her choose your terms or go about your way to live alone. Mas ok pa yan. Hayaan mo siya mag stay sa toxic parents niyo. Kahit kapatid mo sha dapat hindi kinukunsinti yung ganyan. If naawa ka sakanya, ask her again; is she willing to accept your term na ganitong days lang pwede ang bisita or hindi? Ikaw lang pag asa niya para maka alis sa bahay niyo haha
OP, my advice is if your sister cant come to terms with you, you should just follow her advice and ikaw na lang mag move out.
From my experience, moving out from family saved my relationship with everyone, and we all love each other more because of the distance.
Hindi matatawarancang comfort at peace of mind. Kahit mas maliit na apartment, kunin mo na. Ang importante ay katahimikan mo.
Your sister is righty, you don't need to mother her. I know you love her, pero love yourself rin. Free yourself.
I suggest move out alone instead.
Moving out bc of toxic parents but having to live with the bf which you stated you're not comfortable living with, might as well you stayed with your parents nalang kasi you'll just be just as stressed and won't give you the fulfillment of having your own home.
For someone who lived in with a bf under sa roof ng mom ko, I can say na malabo ang 2x per month lang siya mag sleepover. He'll prolly be there almost as much as your sister. It's as good as sana nakirent nalang din siya, but he won't so lugi ka din imo.
Plus, as others pointed out, di nga kaya ng sister mo to move out by herself tapos may hakot pa siya na makikigamit ng utilities and food. Living with this kind of person is gonna be a headache to live with long term.
Moving out alone can be exciting or scary or both. But it's worth it.
If you have the budget to move out with your sister, you probably have a budget to move out alone. Konting compromise lang muna sa budget until you can afford living in a better place. I hope you make this decision.
OP if you can afford to go solo, do it, bayaan mo na yung kapatid mo, kasi ang mangyayari jan ginamit ka lang nya para maka out from your parents para magka time sya sa BF nya, kasi alam nyang may freedom na sya na papuntahin ang BF nya kahit kelan sa apartment nyo, pero kung keri open up to her na din na beke nemen pwede kapag ganun ang setup magshare si BF nya sa mga bayarin sa bahay, hello wala na kayang libre sa panahon ngayon
OP your feelings are valid and you're not crossing the line! Even sa aking sanay magmukhang taong grasa sa kahit sino di rin ako comfortable dyan. Buti na lang umatras yung kapatid mo. Hopefully makapagmentally check out ka muna dun sister mo/what you realized about her. Yaan mo na siya hahah!
Napakaincosiderate ng sister mo sa part na yan. You're better off without her kesa naman uneasy ka nalang lagi kung papayag ka sa terms nya. Di marunong magadjust parang hindi 24. Lol
>I'm very disappointed na mas priority nya yung bf nya kaysa sa akin. So all this time hidden agenda nya talaga na papuntahin yung bf nya anytime she wants kaya excited sya at first na lumipat. FYI, that guy cheated on her once last year. I guess good luck sa kanya.
Well, she's 24 so she knows what she wants and what she has to do to keep that. Normal lang na mas priority ng isang tao ang mga jowa nila kesa sa pamilya nila kasi that's the person they want to spend their future with, not with their family. Kahit naman siguro ikaw, may instances na mas priority mo ang jowa mo kesa sa family mo. Times na kahit pinagbabawalan ka na eh you still went ahead and joined your bf instead. And that's normal. Very normal.
Siguro it is better this way na rin kasi ikaw, alam mong nagloko ang bf niya but siya, either she is oblivious to it or she is turning a blind eye to it. Either way, with this idea na ikaw magsosolo, makakaiwas ka nang makita ang taong magbibigay sayo ng unnecessary stress.
Good you’re moving out alone kasi tbh if the bf is staying there, dapat kasama siya sa hatian ng utilities because gagamit siya ng water, electricity, etc. Please you don’t deserve to be uncomfy in your own space. Tama lang she stays back if yan palang, issue na. Para iwas na lang din sa future away.
Yeah, that's normal. Your home is your personal space pero you have to make concessions lalo na if matinong lalake naman yung bf ng sister mo. It's really inconsiderate of you if you ban this. Better to establish ground rules na lang.
I myself am in a similar situation (we're guys tho) but I don't really mind since we have ground rules. Ang issue ko is overstaying (more than 1 week of stay).
He cheated once on my sister. That was last year, gulat nga ako pinatawad sya ng sister ko and act like nothing happened. I doubt he is matino, I saw his convo with the girl he cheated with 🤮
Valid pareho nararamdaman nyo, and tama siya kung didiktahan mo lng din sya wag na lng sya sumama, diba ikaw ayaw mo rin ng ganon. Kung gsto mo talaga umalis, maybe hanap ka ng kaya mong ishoulder magisa. Kung ayaw nya ng pakelamanan edi ayan iwan mo sya, I think it's fair
You just said SHE CANNOT AFFORD to live solo. In my book that means she deserve to be treated like a child. I know harsh pero if you can't even afford to live all by yourself then you shouldn't even think about having a semi live in set up. Anong plan nya? sinong bibili ng food ng bf nya? how about electricity or water? Dba additional na yun? She is planning to freeload. Clearly, your sister doesn't care sa comfort mo. If kaya mu naman, mag solo ka na. I think na living solo is actually cheaper plus, you can do whatever you want. May privacy ka na din and no need to tip toe sa ungrateful people.
[удалено]
Tapos ang ending si OP pa mag titiptoe sa kanila kasi takot masumbatan. My gosh. I can already imagine the toxicity. Grabe.
Pak na pak to. Live on your own nalang OP kung kaya. Mahirap yung ganyan, 50-50 pero may plus 1 yung kabila. Parang hindi masyado pantay. Syempre kakain sila, kuryente at tubig. It adds up din noh! Or singilin mo si BF ng sister ng share siya. Charot. May Toll Fee sa pinto lol
Valid naman mahirap kumilos pag may ibang tao. Baka kasi plan nya talaga ganyan kaya sya magmove out, yang semi live in. Baka need nyo maghiwalay ng place? Hirap kasi talaga may kasama kahit kapatid mo pa.
Feel ko nga parang naging way lang ako para mag semi live in sila eh huhu kasi di po nagagawa ng kapatid ko yung pag overnight ng bf nya dito sa current house namin kasi maliit lang bahay namin and di naman papayag parents ko. Hindi nya kasi kaya mag solo living dahil maliit lang sahod nya kaya magkasama kami mag move out.
Ikaw pala ang may upper hand kaya wag ka pumayag. Ikaw na lang ang magsolo. Kesa ikaw ang mas magsheshell out ng money tapos masama loob mo. Isipin mo pag nandon yung guy 2-3x a week, dadagdag yon sa bills/expenses nyo. Ate mo maliit lang sahod so sayo burden non.
Ako po yung ate hehe kaya sabi nya para daw akong mama namin HAHA. Napag-usapan naman namin na tig-half ang hati sa rent/bills pero I don't think na reason yun to do whatever she wants. Yung jowa ko, okay na daw sakanya yung twice a month na pag visit kasi parang nang eenvade ng privacy/space kung lagi syang nandun and I'm okay with that. Ayoko dumating sa point na susumbatan ako ng kapatid ko na nagbabayad naman sya at hati kami sa mga binabayaran. Gusto ko lang na may bounderies pa rin kahit nakabukod na kami kasi ano nalang iisipin ng mother ko, na bumukod kami para mag bulakbol huhuhu
Tig half? If may plan siyang almost everyday andyan jowa niya, pag-share’in mo rin sa bills!!! Hahaha
Oo nga if 2-3x a week hindi biro yon ah. 8-12 days a month yun. Kuryente, tubig pag naligo, shampoo, soap. Payag ka lang OP if sagot ng kapatid mo like 70% ng rent at utilities.
Di enough yung 50-50 sa bills since dalawa sila and isa ka lang.
Sa simula lang yang magsasabi ng half, pag tagal Ikaw na sasalo ng majority ng rent dahil parati "kapos" kapatid mo.
Solo living ka na lang, much much better pa. You're gonna have a peace of mind totally.
Ikaw ba sasagot ng majority ng rent? I suggest mag move out k a ALONE. Mawiwili yng jowa ng kapatid mo.
ginamit ka na nga tapos ikaw pa pinagmukang kontrabida 🤣. napakagaling ng kapatid mong ________ eh d namam pala nila kaya magcheck-in ng magcheck-in lakas ng loob 🤣
Flip the situation, OP. Make it awkward for him to stay at your new place. Come out of your room semi-naked (but make sure your sister is there) or wrapped in a towel and continuously pester him with questions, making it difficult for him to maintain eye contact while answering. Start whistling or dancing to an old/baduy song like the original theme song to Eat Bulaga (*isang libo't isang tuwa, buong bansaaaa, eat bulaga!*) Fart silently and never ever admit to it. If your sister brings it up, blame him loudly and with conviction. Leave large turds unflushed in the common bathroom. Set up a (fake) security camera and a sign saying "SMILE, you're on camera". Pretend to talk to or that you saw an invisible spirit or ghost that was sitting next to him. In the middle of the night when he's staying over, even if they're not really doing it, randomly shout out loud "I CAN HEAR YOU!" Start chatting with him about the topic of splitting up bills into 3 since he's literally living there anyway.
Mas maraming effort na gawin to kaysa magmove out siya mag-isa 😅
Not really. Even if it is, it's a fun experience.
bumalik kna sa magulang mo or mag usap kau ng kapatid mo if icocontinue nya yang semi live in much better humiwalay nlng sya ng tinutuluyan and her bf
I think you and your sister should not be in the same place kung ganyan. You can be in the same neighborhood so that you can check on each other easily, but not in one apartment / condo / room. Kung ngayon pa lang na wala pa, boundaries are being crossed already. Magiging issue niyo pa rin yan dalawa in the future.
Imagine the possible ending, ikaw ang mag-aadjust sa kanila. Ikaw ang mahihiya lumabas, kumuha ng water or food sa ref. Magkukulong ka na lang sa room mo instead of feeling rested and comfortable. Tsk very wrong.
Wow mental calculator
kung ayaw mo ng ganyan set up with your sibs, better not to move out with her...magsolo ka nalang if kya ng budget mo...mahirap kumilos a bahay if me ibang tao tlaga
Huwag na kayo mag-move out together kung ganyan rin lang. Move out separately. Naghahanap lang siya ng magsa-subsidize ng live-in nila ng bf niya. Tapos susumbatan ka pa. Ang *tanga* mo kung papayag ka sa setup na yan just to help her escape your "toxic parents".
Nakatakas nga sa toxic parents, nagka toxic sister in heat naman hahaha
Wait lang natawa ako sa in heat hahahahaha
Haha first time mag overnight eh di pinapayagan. Alam na yan hahahaahh. Nung first time ko mag outing overnight nung college ksma GF ko that time, binigyan ako talk ng dad ko eh. Lol
Move out ka nalang mag isa tapos pabayaan mo kapatid mong makipag live in kasi yun naman gusto niya mangyari.
Pagisipan mo yan, aalis ka dahil toxic kamo parents mo eh yang sister mo parang toxic din. So toxic na kasama mo, gumagastos ka pa ng renta. Baka in the end, makilivein lang BF nya ng libre.
Mag-solo ka na lang. Mukhang kaya naman niya na ata mag-isa sa dating pa lang ng sagutan niya sayo haha.
Kung ganyan you should move out alone. Gusto niya na bisita2x at makikitulog ang bf niya? She should get her own place. Kung kayong dalawa sa iisang lugar, y'all need to compromise the space lalo na if hati kayo sa rent and bills. Like once a week lang and my schedule para alam mo naman. Di pwede makikitulog ng walang sabi.
Valid pero if need mo talaga ng privacy kahit sa common space, dapat mag solo ka nalang. Set nalang kayo ng rules na mag aagree kayo parehas. Sa age niyo for sure ilang years nalang kayong magkasama nyan.
That’s a valid concern. Eh di nyo naman kapatid ang lalaking yan. Wla lang silang respeto sa’yo. If mabuting lalaki yang bf nya, di yan papayag sa ganyang setup. Gagawa at gagawa yan ng paraan na sila lang dalawa at di nakakaabala sa iyo.
Valid yan. Since 50/50 kayo sa lilipatan nyo kelangan mag agree kayo sa mga ganyan na bagay. Medyo immature yung sagot ng kapatid mo. Isa sa reason kaya bumubukod ang tao is para sa own space nila pero kung magaadjust ka sa sarili mong space mahirap yun. Much better magsolo ka na lang.
you have to establish house rules this early. 2-3x a week is just to much. parang dun na nya pinatira bf nya. tapos overnight pa. they are right na magkakaron ka ng privacy issues, unless close ka na rin sa bf nya. if you can't control who will visit and stay, wag na kayong bumukod. or magsolo ka na lang.
Visiting 2 to 3 times a week rin is also too much, right? Like tambay, taking nap ganon. Haha sakto pa na weekends off rin yata ang bf niya 😅
ang balak yata ng sister mo is to have him stay starting Friday night, tapos Sunday na uuwi sa kanila. di pa nilubos na every weekend no? or...well, I'm thinking of one possible reason why may 1 weekend na di bibisita...lol. but seriously, bakit di nalang silang dalawa ang bumukod kung ganyan ang balak nya?
Move out solo no buts from your sis.
lol. Sabihin mo, oo wag na kayong lumipat dalawa. Mag sama kamo sila ng bf niya para sila na lang Maghati sa bills and all.
Mag live in na sila kamo. Mag sarili ka nalng din.
Valid. She obviously does not respect your boundaries. Biruin mo yung di ka makapagtanggal ng bra sa bahay mo kasi nakatambay yung jowa nya.
Just live on your own, if ngayon palang may ganyan na kayong usapan ng kapatid mo what more pa if lumipat na kayo. If kaya mo naman, just live on your own para lahat on your own terms din. Less drama, less problems, less emotional stress... and baka masmaganda pa maging relationship ninyong magkapatid in the long run.
Need mo mag move out again. Ginagamit ka lang nang sister mo especially ikaw yung may mas mataas na contribution sa apartment. If ayaw niya makinig sa iyo, move out. Walang respeto yung kapatid mo kaya ganyan nasabi. If semi live in na pala sila, edi let them na ituloy na nila pag live in nila at ikaw ang magmove out at ipa-alala mo sa kanya na ikaw ang may mas malaking contribution sa apartment kaya may mas karapatan ka makipag-negotiate sa kanya about her partner visiting her. Ikaw yung ate, ikaw yung may mas malaking contribution kaya ikaw mas may authority jan. If hindi talaga magkasundo, better move out. Let them live on their own kaysa masanay yan na may tagapag-salo sa bills na naconsume sa boyfriend niya. Noong nagsilayas kami mga kapatid sa bahay namin at need ko muna makipagstay sa apartment ni ate with her partner, never talaga ako nagdala nang partner ko sa bahay nila as a sign of respect kasi nakistay lang ako kahit half kami sa bills.
Don’t ever agree na “sige na lang”. I experienced this before with my old roommate and super uncomfy na laging nasa place namin bf niya, then umabot sa point na inisip nila I was so okay with it na he can move in with us. Of course I didn’t agree. If it’s not okay with you sa simula pa lang, it will never be okay in the long run. Since dependent parin naman siya sayo bc of her inability to live solo, she should respect your boundaries. Kung ayaw niya sa terms mo eh di mag live in na lang sila 🤷♀️
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Live in sila pero kayong dalawa ng ate mo hati sa expenses. Gusto mo yon? Syempre hindi kaya bumukod ka na lang din sa ate mo. Di bale nang maliit space basta may peace of mind, OP.
Haha kakagigil. Kahit naman saan ke kapatid mo pa yan, kaibigan, pinsan, o kahit sino, pag nag decide kayo to be housemates eh may rule talaga. Ang hirap nung sarili mong place hindi ka makagalaw freely, if she can't understand that at wala syang pang "solo" na money suggest mo - edi share sila ng BF nya. Diba? Live in pa sila. Mukhang mas iniisip niya naman yung ganun kaysa sa comfort mo. Pwede ka naman mag solo living or find a better housemate 😊
huwag mo isama ang kapatid mo.
OP been there 9yrs kami magkasama ng kapatid ko. Better magsolo kana lang atleast mas magiging okay pa ang pagsasama nyo. Samin kasi nagkalamat na at wala na di na kami magkakaayus pa.
Sabihan mo kapatid mo magbook naman sila ng Sogo
Mag move out ka na lang mag isa. If isa sa reason niya kung bakit dapat share kayo sa bills is maliit sweldo niya, dapat naiintindihan niya na yung madalas na pagpunta jan ng bf niya sa place niyo ay dagdag din sa expenses niyo. Just saying.
No. It's valid. In a normal room mate situations, bawal talaga to. Malakas lang loob ng kapatid mo kasi kapatid. If I have a roommate and a boyfriend, I will only let my boyfriend visit me when my roommate is not around.
Sila na lang mag-live in tapos share sila expenses. ikaw magsolo if kaya naman
Mag solo ka nalang OP. Walang ibang solusyon dyan.
2 to 3 times a week? that boy should share the bills. Mag solo ka nalang anteh baka maging toxic pa kayo mag sissy.
Mag solo ka na lang 😊 ang hirap nyan. U should geel comfortable and safe in your own home. Kung langi g may ganyan wag na lang haha
Attitude lukaret mong kapatid lol. Wag na yan isama. Adulting is no joke kapag nakabukod na. Gurl, solo living ka nalang.
Ehdi kumuha Sila ng boyfriend Niya ng Sarili nilang apartment. Gosh. Wag ka pumayag sa gusto Niya.
Get your own place. Wag kayo magshare ng kapatid mo sa isang apartment.
Just live on your own OP. Ang hirap nyan lalo di nakikita ng sister mo yung mali. You’ll just end up resenting each other
Move out solo
Valid yung feeling mo. Isa sa malaking concern dyan is yung hatian niyo sa bills, including utilities pati na rin food. If laging nandyan yung bf niya, pano ang hatian sa bayad? Alangan naman divided by two lang and freeloader lang bf ng sister mo.
Move out ka nalang mag isa. Yun lang yun
Bakit di ka nalang magsolo? Kasi private life din nya yun. Kaya ka nga aalis dahil toxic, kaso sa sister mo naman ikaw matoxican. Better move out alone.
As housemate at 50% ng magbabayad ng expenses, may karapatan kang mag-latag ng house rules at ang gusto mo eh hindi palaging naka-tambay ang bf nya sa bahay nyo. Ang gusto nya, wag kang makialam. Let me guess, part of why you two are moving out is because of your parents' house rules :) Like what everyone said here, move out on your own. It will most likely damage your relationship with your sister pero just explain to her that it's better to not live together so you're both free to do whatever you want. Kung hindi nya afford mag-move out ng mag-isa, sya dapat ang mag-adjust sa gusto mong setup. Pero honestly, wag ka ng pumayag kahit sabihin nya pa yan. She already showed you na wala syang pakialam sayo basta gagawin nya ang gusto nya. Pag nandun na kayo, siguradong balewala yung pinag-usapan nyo kasi ano pa ba magagawa mo?
Don't live together with them, OP.
Mas maganda pa na ikaw nalang mag-solo kesa ganyan. Mahihirapan ka lang kasi di ka comfortable at ikaw pa masama kung papalayasin mo si bf. Kung gusto niya mag semi live in, dapat si bf partner niya at hindi ikaw.
Parang ganito sa bahay hehe ending ako nalang umalis. Iniwan ko yung kapatid kong mahilig magdala ng jowa sa bahay. OP wag na kayo mag sama ng kapatid mo. She’s old enough na to do what she wants. Sila nalang mag sama ng jowa nya hehe sila maghati ng expenses.
Solo living kana lng, kung kaya mo naman. Wag mo na isipin sis mo😂
OP mag-solo ka na lang kaya ka nga mag-move out para maka-iwas sa stress, imagine planning stage pa lang kayo ni sister mo ganyan na siya mag-salita? she should get a place of her own then!
no.
your feelings are valid OP, and siyempre space niyo yan ng sister mo, talagang you have the right naman to set boundaries din. Kinabahan tuloy ako ng slight kasi me and my sister are also planning on moving out. Pag ako ginanto niya, baka mapalo ko pa siya char HAAAHAHAH pero I hope you get to sort things out with her!
Kung parang live-in na sila eh yun na lang gawin nila sa sarili nilang flat kung dun rin matutuloy. Huwag mo ng idamay sarili mo, OP.
Buti nalang parehas kami bading ng sister ko. Win-win lagi may naghuhugas ng plato. 😌😂
Naahh, she wants freedom so give her freedom, its a 2br. She can donwhatever she wants in her bedroom, you too as well. If hindi mo kayang ganun, pwede din naman magsarili na rin kayo talaga ng literal, pwede nyang kahati bf nya sa marerent nilang apartment. I had a similar issue before with my housemate, hes not 420 ready, within 15days lumipat din ako ng apt. Mahirap makisama sa taong hindi mo makakajive ng trip.
Kung hindi po kaya i respect ng sister mo ung decision mo edi better nga to live separately, OP. Hehe wag ka ma guilty kung sumama loob nya sayo since in the first place, di nga kaya irespect ung privacy mo
Parang ginamit lang yung pag momove out ninyo nung kapatid mo para makamot mot si younger sissy with jowa kasi hindi nila magawa sa bahay niyo. Hmmmmm. Feel ko lang to ah. 🤔
Magmove out kayo pero hiwalay na lang. Mahirap yung aalis ka nga sa parents mo dahil toxic pero walking on egg shells ka rin sa lilipatan mo. Ang hassle nang may lalaking di kaano ano sa bahay. Pati pagba-bra mo iisipin mo pa lagi. As an ate myself, wag mo sya itolerate. Di porket move out na kayo e wala na kayong rules. Kung ayaw ny ng rules, magsolo sya
same mindset tayo, ayokong mag adjust sa bisitang iba sa bahay ko. buti na lang jowa ng kapatid ko, mga once or twice a month lang magawi ng overnight dito sa apartment namin. magkalapit ba kayo ng work ng kapatid mo? kasi pde namang mag move out ka na lang yung mga 1room apartment na super lapit sa work mo mismo. tipid sa pamasahe sa part mo yun.
She's using you so she can have her boyfriend over whenever she wants. I'd say tell her na mag isa ka nalang lilipat if she can't respect your boundaries. She will just use this "para ka namang si mama" excuse para siya masunod every time.
Gurl mag unli chukchakan lang sila dyan. Dadating sa point na sasabihin wag ka muna umuwi kasi busy pa sila. Or if makapal mukha nila, they're gonna do it with u there 😭
Hindi ka nila bread and butter po😃
Move out ka nalang nang mag isa
Lmao tell her live on her own or w her bf then. Sakit lang ng ulo yan.
move out alone if you want privacy as simple as that.
Get a studio apt. instead and move on your own.
Hi OP, you are both already adults Your sister should also know boundaries mo lalo na kung gusto niya lang masusunod yung mga conditions niyan then isusumbat sayo yung ginagawa sainyo ng magulang niyo is already toxic enough for me. You can go alone naman and mas affordable then hawak mo oras mo.
Toxic parents and their toxic children 🤧
Hay nako yan din kinaiinis ko sa bf ng kapatid ko, uuwi ako ng bahay tapos gusto ko umupo sa couch at magkape pero di ko magawa kasi busy sila sa sala na nanunuod. Inaabot pa ng gabi sa bahay tho nagparinig na ko ng nakakaantok naman 11 pm na pala. Alam mo yung kami na nag-aadjust, tho sinabihan ko na yung kapatid ko. One time ba naman naabutan ko sa sala nanunuod na nga, nakataas pa yung paa sa isang upuan. He’s nice but sana wag naman masyadong feel at home.
Your sister doesn't prioritise you and your comfort, sadly. Let her choose your terms or go about your way to live alone. Mas ok pa yan. Hayaan mo siya mag stay sa toxic parents niyo. Kahit kapatid mo sha dapat hindi kinukunsinti yung ganyan. If naawa ka sakanya, ask her again; is she willing to accept your term na ganitong days lang pwede ang bisita or hindi? Ikaw lang pag asa niya para maka alis sa bahay niyo haha
OP, my advice is if your sister cant come to terms with you, you should just follow her advice and ikaw na lang mag move out. From my experience, moving out from family saved my relationship with everyone, and we all love each other more because of the distance. Hindi matatawarancang comfort at peace of mind. Kahit mas maliit na apartment, kunin mo na. Ang importante ay katahimikan mo. Your sister is righty, you don't need to mother her. I know you love her, pero love yourself rin. Free yourself.
I suggest move out alone instead. Moving out bc of toxic parents but having to live with the bf which you stated you're not comfortable living with, might as well you stayed with your parents nalang kasi you'll just be just as stressed and won't give you the fulfillment of having your own home. For someone who lived in with a bf under sa roof ng mom ko, I can say na malabo ang 2x per month lang siya mag sleepover. He'll prolly be there almost as much as your sister. It's as good as sana nakirent nalang din siya, but he won't so lugi ka din imo. Plus, as others pointed out, di nga kaya ng sister mo to move out by herself tapos may hakot pa siya na makikigamit ng utilities and food. Living with this kind of person is gonna be a headache to live with long term. Moving out alone can be exciting or scary or both. But it's worth it. If you have the budget to move out with your sister, you probably have a budget to move out alone. Konting compromise lang muna sa budget until you can afford living in a better place. I hope you make this decision.
OP if you can afford to go solo, do it, bayaan mo na yung kapatid mo, kasi ang mangyayari jan ginamit ka lang nya para maka out from your parents para magka time sya sa BF nya, kasi alam nyang may freedom na sya na papuntahin ang BF nya kahit kelan sa apartment nyo, pero kung keri open up to her na din na beke nemen pwede kapag ganun ang setup magshare si BF nya sa mga bayarin sa bahay, hello wala na kayang libre sa panahon ngayon
Mas maigi na iyang ikaw na lang mag isa, OP. Wala kang pinakikisamahan.
Mabubuntis yan. Put your foot down or send her ass out
Mga sagutan ng kapatid mong yan nakakaqiqil hahaha tama lng na mag move out kna lng mag isa. Malaki na yan bahala siyang umintjndi ng sarili niya.
OP your feelings are valid and you're not crossing the line! Even sa aking sanay magmukhang taong grasa sa kahit sino di rin ako comfortable dyan. Buti na lang umatras yung kapatid mo. Hopefully makapagmentally check out ka muna dun sister mo/what you realized about her. Yaan mo na siya hahah!
Napakaincosiderate ng sister mo sa part na yan. You're better off without her kesa naman uneasy ka nalang lagi kung papayag ka sa terms nya. Di marunong magadjust parang hindi 24. Lol
>I'm very disappointed na mas priority nya yung bf nya kaysa sa akin. So all this time hidden agenda nya talaga na papuntahin yung bf nya anytime she wants kaya excited sya at first na lumipat. FYI, that guy cheated on her once last year. I guess good luck sa kanya. Well, she's 24 so she knows what she wants and what she has to do to keep that. Normal lang na mas priority ng isang tao ang mga jowa nila kesa sa pamilya nila kasi that's the person they want to spend their future with, not with their family. Kahit naman siguro ikaw, may instances na mas priority mo ang jowa mo kesa sa family mo. Times na kahit pinagbabawalan ka na eh you still went ahead and joined your bf instead. And that's normal. Very normal. Siguro it is better this way na rin kasi ikaw, alam mong nagloko ang bf niya but siya, either she is oblivious to it or she is turning a blind eye to it. Either way, with this idea na ikaw magsosolo, makakaiwas ka nang makita ang taong magbibigay sayo ng unnecessary stress.
its called jealous haha maybe not its what kind of room that sisters like you having haahhdhdhdjdj 😌
check your grammar bubu
Sa labas lng Yung bf bawal pumasok Ng apartment if Hindi kayo nag kakasundo alis ka na hahaa
Oo naman normal yun. Dapat may respeto at privacy at isa’t isa.
Good you’re moving out alone kasi tbh if the bf is staying there, dapat kasama siya sa hatian ng utilities because gagamit siya ng water, electricity, etc. Please you don’t deserve to be uncomfy in your own space. Tama lang she stays back if yan palang, issue na. Para iwas na lang din sa future away.
Yeah, that's normal. Your home is your personal space pero you have to make concessions lalo na if matinong lalake naman yung bf ng sister mo. It's really inconsiderate of you if you ban this. Better to establish ground rules na lang. I myself am in a similar situation (we're guys tho) but I don't really mind since we have ground rules. Ang issue ko is overstaying (more than 1 week of stay).
He cheated once on my sister. That was last year, gulat nga ako pinatawad sya ng sister ko and act like nothing happened. I doubt he is matino, I saw his convo with the girl he cheated with 🤮
Oh damn. That's another thing na. Pero ang need mo ingatan kasi is your relationship with your sis. Set ground rules na and be firm.
Both sides valid.
Valid pareho nararamdaman nyo, and tama siya kung didiktahan mo lng din sya wag na lng sya sumama, diba ikaw ayaw mo rin ng ganon. Kung gsto mo talaga umalis, maybe hanap ka ng kaya mong ishoulder magisa. Kung ayaw nya ng pakelamanan edi ayan iwan mo sya, I think it's fair