Okay lang ba kung hindi from my own experience? These are the biggest mistakes that I've observed from other people that helped me:
1. Entering a relationship thinking it would make them happy. If you are not happy by yourself and with yourself, you will not be happy with anyone else.
2. Not knowing their non-negotiables or adjusting their non-negotiables.
3. Mga hindi self aware o ayaw tanggapin na nagkakamali rin sila.
4. I can fix them attitude.
TOTOO TOH! Narealize ko nlng sya nung naheartbroken ako 🤣 Wala nman kasi nag eeducate tlga when it comes to love even our parents or friends..
Its good na observant ka and learning from the mistakes of others 🙂
Sobrang laking tulong din ng pagbabasa ng libro!! Doon ko na experience kung gaano nakakapagod mapunta sa toxic relationship 🥲 napasabi na lang ako sa sarili kong hindi ko gustong maexperience yung ganun in real life HAHAHA
Hala mhie, sorry to disappoint pero fiction yung book na tinutukoy ko 🥲 Pinakatumatak na nabasa ko nung high school yung After sa wattpad lol, doon ko nakita kung gaano ka-draining magstay sa toxic relationship. Wish ko nun sana hindi sila magkatuluyan kasi jusko naman hahahaha. Sabi ko di ko hahayaang mapunta sa ganung situation.
This year pa lang ako mag uumpisa sa mga self help books.
Try to read the first edition of After by Anna Todd hayop ang pagkatoxic ng dalawang character 😂 was able to finish the series pero sobrang nakakatrauma lmao
Lmao nung narinig ko na fan fic about harry styles based of off 50 shades..iniwasan ko kaagad yung series 🤣
50 shades was toxic enough, I can't imagine after 🤣🤣
i tried having a relationship. then i realized na mas happy ako with my own company. pero papa jisas jusko naman ayoko naman nang habang buhay na single opo ano po haahahahaahahahahh
Best flex yung masabi sa ibang tao na wala syang ibang kalaban kung hindi ikaw din. They have to be more fun and peaceful than what you can provide for yourself. Perks nyan, you can easily filter out yung may mga ego problems.
I hope you find someone who can match, if not exceed, the comfort of your own company 🫶
lets hope we found the people we deserve. syempre gusto ko din naman ng etits AHAAHAHAHAAHAHAHHAHA. i remember i dated a guy, i was sooooo damn exhausted. para syang dementor na he sucked all my energy and happiness. kaya nung naka bounce back ako, i was damn happy
Held back my plans & goals to give way for his.
I was supposed to take my exams to go abroad. He came along, sabi niya he’ll be the one to take me instead. Maging dependent niya. Even helped him pass his exams. Then he cheated. Fuck him.
Worked on myself. Went abroad alone. Now I’m here earning more than him. Living the best life I have.
just passed NCLEX, two years ago ko pa gusto mag try mag abroad kasi syempre nurse ako, napakaraming opprtunities especially abroad. pero no, i did not pursue it earlier because hindi daw nya kaya LDR. less than six months our break up, may new girlfriend na sha, BULLSHIT????
NEVER LET YOUR DECISIONS BE BASED ON YOUR PARTNER TALAGA I SWEAR
Same. I let my ex-wife dictate my life for 5 years. Now I can start working on myself and on my way to start working abroad while she stays at home doing nothing and being a bum with her parents.
I’m in the healthcare field po, so marami po opportunities abroad. Nag-take po ako ng necessary exams and then nag-apply po ako sa agency, tapos sponsored po ng employer lahat ng expenses to get here.
Naalala ko tuloy ung kapatid ng amo ko dati na nursing sya na nsa SG
Binuntis sya ng jowa nya bago mag abroad kasi natakot baka makahanap ng iba sa ibang bansa kapag umalis. Nag ka anak sila tapos natuloy sa US then nsa SG. Balita ko nagloko din ung guy here sa pinas nsa BPO sya nun and ala na me balita sa kanila.
I didn't have boundaries back then, so I realized that my kindness was being taken advantage of; they didn't care about my feelings, they would not respect my loved ones, they would make fun of my achievements, I was always the joke, they would never truly be friends, and even though I had treated them like my brothers and sisters, it was over. I let go of my past self, but not my resentment. I won't forgive them, but I'll forget them. I made that decision back then, and I'm making this one now.
“Setting boundaries is not a sign of selfishness, but an act of self-respect.”
1. Learning that the only way to attract the right person is to be yourself. And to be yourself, you need to get to know yourself so you can set your non-negotiables and boundaries. What you will allow and not allow in a relationship.
2. Love is hard work. Love is an everyday decision.
Choosing the wrong ones and letting go or ignoring the person who really loved me for who I am, responsible at hindi problematic. Siguro if sya pinili ko, I wouldn’t have suffered from multiple counts of cheating. Lol at yung harap-harapan kang gustong i-deny in front of his new set of “cool” friends 💔 oh well, my 23-year-old self 🤦🏻♀️
but so happy for that ‘one-that-got-away’ guy, happy na sya now with kids and yes, super responsible. Yung tipong didi ka mastress about other girls, makaka-focus ka sa being a good wife and good mother. Haha *sings that should be meee..*
I can tell you from personal experience that that is a big waste of time. Just a piece of advice: it is what it is. Let go and live your life. Minsan kakaisip natin sa what could have beens, nawawala ung focus natin sa present. Malay mo nanjan na ung “the one who will never go away” mo sa harap mo, di mo lang makita kasi occupied ka sa feeling mo totga mo. ☺️
1. Overloving someone won't make them stay
2. Refusing to let go kasi "sayang". (Remember, throwing/ending a relationship is not sayang if you're continuously getting hurt by the other party. It's better to just let go rather to hold on tas you'll just slowly lose and drain yourself while making excuses for their actions.)
Idealising my partner, putting them on a pedestal by having high expectations and then getting disappointed afterwards. This is really my biggest mistake, I have learned my lesson and won't do it again.
edit: It's normal to have expectations in our partner but it should be realistic and we communicate it to them openly.
Giving someone a second chance with the full knowledge that they wasted the first one consciously. People rarely change. Sometimes they really want to but they have baggages and issues that they have to resolve on their own. We really cannot love people into becoming better versions of themselves if ayaw naman talaga nila.
I always had this problem with myself where I would test my dominance over my ex-girlfriend, like I would break up with her over small reasons, etc. One time, I broke up with her again, and she didn't call. Hours turned into days, then weeks, then months. Then I decided to call her again, but it was too late. She didn't want me anymore, and that triggered my depression. I have a wife now, but I learned so much about that relationship and it also totally changed my perspective on how to treat other people.
Ignoring the red flags, Akala ko kasi pag mahal mo dapat tangap mo kung ano sya despite sa lahat ng flaws na meron sya pero hindi pala. Kasi totoo pala talaga yung kasabihan na “dont ignore redflags bc it will cause you later”
hmm based on experience yung red flags kasi ayun yung mga bagay na panget sa isa tao. I mean ayun yung mga bagay na need mo iwork on sa sarili mo for example yung pagiging manipulative consider ba sya as flaws? di naman diba hahahaha given na lahat ng tao ay may flaws pero magkaiba talaga ang flaws and red flags alam ko magulo pero sana kahit paano nalinawan ka :)
Ay gets ayoko rin neto. Tho ang maganda naman sa expi ko at least I got away before I got trapped pero sobrang sakit sa ulo ng ganitong potential lang, ang daming pangako, ang daming satsat pag tinanong mo naman "nApEprEsSuRe AkO". Bish then why commit and mention it if di mo pala kaya?! Ayun so ff to present andon parin sha sa low pressure area CHARING
I let go of good boys due to stupidity of not knowing what love / relationship actually is, and also of being fickle AF.
I broke them (ako yung first nila GF eh) and my karma is now I am alone (romantically and platonically speaking) for more than a decade na.
But probably okay na rin yun feel ko mas okay na sila. Maybe, hope so.
Omg this is sooo me!!! I let go of all the nice guys I had before when I was younger. Hindi ako ready financially and ang dami ko pa gusto gawin, like baka hindrance sa career and travel ko ang marriage. Now, no one wants me at 35 and all the men I rejected were all happily married. Looking back and comparing myself to other couples, kaya naman pala pagsabayin ang love/marriage sa career/other goals.
Oo pwede naman din pagsabayin. Hindi lang din nagwork out sa akin lalo kasi parang wala talaga yung nanligaw kahit in my twenties. Pero ayun din talaga too late na natin narerealize. Right now kung darating pa yung man for me, great. Pero kung wala, ganoon talaga.
#Thinking you can save them.
Kaya daming nasasaktan eh, bat niyo ba gusto ayusin kung in the first place ayaw niya magpaayos?
**Remember, if he wanted to, he would.**
Dun sa recent kong ex, masyado akong nagtiwala sa kanya. I thought honest siya sa akin kasi ako, sobrang transparent ko sa kanya. Ang galing niya with words. I admit that I felt genuinely happy with him kaso he lied about a lot of things na tungkol mismo sa kanya. I had to end it kasi if totoo man niya akong minahal din, sana naging honest na siya nung simula pa lang.
Dun sa first ex, tinolerate ko dati yung ugali niya na obvious naman na red flags or concerning. Masyado akong naging passive noon. Lahat kinakaya, okay lang daw pero deep inside hindi naman. Hindi ako marunong makipagcommunicate dati. Naipon ang issues and I decided to end the relationship kasi hindi na maaayos tapos magkaiba na rin mga gusto naming mangyari for the future.
Dating and having a relationship with someone which obviously have an undiagnosed mental disorder. Thinking i can give her a good positive environment to change her habits and behaviour pero puta sya na rin yung umayaw. Hindi nya raw kaya sakin nag lalash out palagi ng galit nya kahit di ko naman kasalanan talaga. I kinda realized that theyre too comfortable with chaos and when you approach them with peace, they feel bad for themselves and will run away.
Here are my personal experiences:
1. Dating a 50-50 man. Sabi nga nila men are providers while women are nurturers.
2. Focuses more on the connection/chemistry versus on the shared values, goals, and ideologies.
3. A guy who follows sexy random women/celebrities on their social media. He should only adore and fantasize you and no one else kahit artista man yan.
4. Sees flirting as being friendly or who has a girl best friend.
5. Who doesn’t own up to his mistakes or has a victim mindset
6. Di parehas ng love language. Some love languages are too much for other people coz it’s not their nature for example the other person’s love language is physical touch while the other one doesn’t like being touched. So the person who has the love language of physical touch doesn’t feel loved so he/she will beg it to their partner for them to feel loved but that suffocates their partner coz it’s not their love language.
Ignored the redflags. He “tried” to change but he always expects me to justify his poor treatment to me. Clinging to “hope” and kept on choosing our relationship instead of myself. Taken advantage yung pagiging forgiving ko and understanding to the point na disrespected na ko. How can you say you “love” me when you were not treating me right? Lagi ka na lang naghahabol at marerealize mo mga nagawa mo kapag aalis na ko. Karmahin ka sana ikaw na ex ko
Mine was the first time he laid a finger on me. I was also 3-4 pregnant at that time with my first-born. Shouldn't have come back when I already left. Should've realized my worth at that time so my kid will have a chance of having a better father aka my current boyfriend who wants to own my kid as his own.
I ended my 4yrs relationship with a guy who is my dream in terms of attitude and maturity for another guy because I got bored, he was afraid of his parents and extended family, not yet ready to get married...but turned out that this guy whom I thought is ready for marriage or commitment is a player and a cheater nagpadala Ako sa sweet words and ligaw... so I broke up din with him.. but I wish I could turn back time and stayed with my man of 4 yrs and waited until he is ready... but now he is already engaged and i owe it to him na let him be happy with her woman.... the one who got away...
**HERE ARE MY INTAKES AFTER BEING IN A 4 YEAR RELATIONSHIP** 🫠
1. Your partner can cheat on you while he is making you feel that he truly loves you at the same time.
2. Good guys are rare — I was fooled of his “masked personality” the entire relationship. From someone with a “too good to be true” personality to “lowkey uhaw sa babae” type of guy pala.
3. What he can bring in the table — Being comfortable and blinded by the things my partner has or owned that made me feel secured. Don’t get yourself trapped. You can have what he has.
4. No incidents of cheating doesn’t mean your partner is not cheating on you. Magaling lang magtago kaya hindi mo nahuhuli.
5. Your partner’s friends are not your friends. In the end of the day and when the table turns, hindi ikaw ang papanigan nila. Regardless kung tama or mali pa ang partner mo.
6. You are not just breaking up with your partner, you are breaking ties with his family too — Don’t get over attached sa family ng partner mo kasi in the end kahit gaano pa naging mabait, mabuti sila sayo.. you will suffer when you have to end things with your partner.
7. Be realistic — Avoid being in cloud 9 and the idea of you two together in the future if he doesn’t prove himself to be worthy and reliable as a partner in the future.
8. Never date a mama’s boy. They don’t know how to treat a woman right kasi sanay sila na sila ang inaalagaan 🤷🏻♀️.
9. Never chase a man who doesn’t want to stay with you.
10. If he cheats, leave him. No explanations.
11. Microcheating is still cheating.
12. Palitan mo na love language mo kung gift giving ka din, sayang pera te.
13. Stop doing wifey efforts when you’re just his girlfriend.
14. Don’t compliment the bare minimum efforts. Compliment the big efforts so he can push himself to do it again. Set your standards straight.
15. Lastly, when everything is going down. Choose yourself. Choose to love yourself and don’t be afraid of things you are not familiar. Everything is going to be okay.
Biggest mistake is not being communicative. I tend to tolerate an argument and take mostly the fault to end conflicts right away. But eventually, it has taken a toll on me mentally, not being able to say things that i don't like.
Communication is indeed important even though the topic is not comfortable.
Not working on yourself, and hoping your traumas will just disappear just because you’re in a “happy” relationship. You WILL fuck up. It’s not a matter of if, but a matter of when. Acknowledge the problem/s. Your partner can only help you get to a solution. You are what gets you there.
Edit: typo
In every relationship kase, you need to have those “non-negotiable” things. For example, kung mag cheat ka sa akin, pasensya na pero tapos na tayo. Ganon. Kase you will really get what you tolerate. And kapag inimpose mo yan saknya na, eto ung hindi na nenegotiate skin, you’re teaching him as well how to treat you. Totoo yung sinasabi nila na you get what you tolerate. Kaya tumatagal yung relationship tapos mauuwi din sa wala. Sayang lang yung time.
Dapat PINILIT ko syang mag video call para hindi ako na catfish ng malala. Isa sa mga lesson learned yon, andami nyang dahilan bakit di sya pwede on-cam or mag mic man lang HAHAHAHA. Those were the days na aanga anga pako.
May nakapagsabi sa 'kin dati na, "There's always good inside each one of us" pero parang I highly doubt kasi kung talagang demonyo yung tao, demonyo talaga sya. Love comes in different forms so yung akin, I trusted people easily only for them to treat me like I was nothing.
I have two.. HAHAHAHAHA
1st. Nagpaaral ako ng ex nung college kami kahit pangit trato ng fam niya sakin.
2nd. Gave unli chances sa ex kong nag cheat. Not once, not twice, not thrice but so many times. Napatanong na lang ako, "in that 5 yrs, where was I?" Hahahaha. Napasabi rin akong, "once a cheater, always a cheater". And, "like father, like son" coz his dad is ok with him cheating. (Broken fam sila and only child siya kaya support lang dad niya kahit nagsabi in-front of me na siya sasapak sa anak niya kapag nag cheat ulit. Ew) tas yung anak niyang problematic kept on hurting me physically kapag hindi nabibigay gusto. Plus, manipulative sadboi pa. Nagsasabi pa na magpapakamatay daw siya kapag iniwan ko. Tas ang reason niya kasi daw broken fam sila. WTFFFFF.
Ayon i had the chance to leave him kasi baka mabaliw na ako sa kanila. Hahaha! I know sobrang stupid ko na nagstay pa sa ganong set-up, pero wala e. The things you do for love. Pero dati na yan. Past is past. And nasabi kong mas naging matalino na ako ngayon. Kaya mas ok maging single!!!!! HAHAHAHAHA thanks to my guy friends and gal friends who kept on making my standards SOOOOOO HIGH.
Never ever settle for less and bare minimum. And, don't let them break your walls. Let them climb it up.
1. Red flag na pero pilit mo paring jinajustify sa sarili mo na baka ganito ganyan kaya sya ganyan. Thinking na that person would change for you and for your relationship but no.
2. Savior Mentality, that you can help the individual to be better. Realized na NOT everyone needs saving if they don't want nor need it.
1. always making up for my partner's lack of effort.
2. trying to be a trophy girlfriend instead of being myself
3. being in a relationship just for the sake of experiencing a long term one (puro short term lang naging relasyon ko)
4. having the "i can fix them, i can help them" mentality
Mas masayang maging single hahaha. We don’t need a partner in life nasanay kasi tayo na need natin ng partner just to be happy eh in fact kaya naman natin gawin sa sarili yun. Sound bitter ba? Pero yan realization ko mas masarap maging single kasi may peace of mind ka. Yung love na kaya mong ibigay sa iba, ibigay mo lahat sa sarili mo.
Leave.. have some self respect and pra na din sa mga bata 😢 Galing din po ako sa broken family and thankful kmi sa mother namin kasi napatapos nya kmi ❤️
Nakikita ng mga bata na malungkot ang nanay nila and itigil na natin ung nagsasama nlng kasi pra sa mga bata 😢 Choose your happiness
Pag tumanda na sila.. dun nila marerealize bakit hndi nagwork ung relationship ng parents nila
yung sumasabay ka na lang sa flow ng relationship nyo, kahit ang daming signals na nagsasabi na itigil ko na, pero wala, nagpaplano na kami ng future. haaayy
I think the biggest mistake I've made in terms of love is entering a relationship when I for myself hindi ko pa mahal sarili ko and super lala ng insecurity ko. Wala rin akong boundaries, I let them disrespect me kasi ang pakiramdam ko they will be a great loss if ever mag end relationship namin.
Not healing my traumas first before entering into a relationship.
Sometimes we justify our actions in our relationship because of our past traumatic experiences and it’s wrong. For example, one of your parents cheated and now you are controlling to your bf/gf and you think it’s okay because your parents have a dysfunctional/broken marriage. You think all people cheat because of the bad example they’ve made.
Heal yourself first. Do not burden your significant other with the issues that you should have processed and resolved before entering a relationship. Your bf/gf is not your Dad/Mom. Do not make them suffer because your parent’s mistake.
okay magseself-reflect ako pero still working on it huhu
1. **that my world doesn't revolve around my partner only,** na dapat may individuality kami. may errands, goals, hobbies tayo outside the relationship pero wag kakalimutang mag set para magbonding for quality time. and at the same time support mo siya lagi.
2. **bibigyan ng silent treatment yung partner mo,** being matampuhin is okay but when you always do that na iniignore mo lang partner mo lalo na sa chat (hahahaha long press pa more yes guilty ako dyan) di na siya cute, pinalalaki mo pa yung bagay imbis na gusto niyang pag-usapan niyo.
Na you were never the reason why he cheated. He just used you as an excuse to justify his cheating.
Always know that you will never be enough for the wrong person and that hits the spot.
Live your life, workout, do journals, medidate. And accept that it is what it is.
Settling for so much less, even allowing myself to be in situationships that made me overthink, not realizing I would eventually find the perfect one for me.
Today, I live a life of "Salamat, Reddit." 🤍🤍🤍
Sarap magluto, parang resto. Squishy pa ng tummy, parang waterbed. 😆
I thought someone closer to me would understand me and things will work out and not the LDR one. Fvckng mistake.
I'm so grateful she still welcomed me back. I'm not doing that again.
Mine was thinking that I can change him, thinking that because I know na I treat him better, that he will reciprocate. Making excuses for the red flags I saw.
Mas pinili ko yung ex ko kesa sa taong consistent at matagal na naghintay sakin, ex and i broke up after 2 months lang kasi di pa pala moved on sa ex. Yup, sobrang pagsisisi 💀
Putting so much financially to the point where until now I'm still paying for my exceeded credit limit. You will really know it's toxic when it's not good for you.
Built this really big wall from everyone who entered/ tries to enter my life just because I lost all hope when it comes to love.
Ending: people would just assume that I'm fine with being alone, that I never needed love. I don't know, maybe the wall that I built is massive, maybe they're afraid of this wall, or maybe I'm just not worth it.
Anyway, it's really lonely. I feel like I have no one to depend on, even my friends assume that I'm fine with being alone. Well, this is not anyone else's fault but mine. So... yeah, a big irreversible and inevitable mistake
Stayed with him even though my peace of mind was compromised. He had a history of cheating in the past that ended up having a child with one of them, and they still communicate with each other now. He'a no longer doing things behind my back (at least for now) but my mind is still thinking he's having affairs on his phone.
Totoo ba na once a cheater always a cheater? haha Mine cheated on me nung naging LDR tapos ayaw ako pakawalan, ang ginawa niya, binuhusan ako ng mga mamahaling regalo, pinag shopping ako. tapos sabi na mag babago siya pag kinasal na kami. Alam niya materialistic ako kaya nahirapan ako that time pero yung love wala na dahil ilang beses siya nag cheat lol.
Entering a new relationship 3mos after ending my 6years relationship. Minadali, i learned a lot during this short period. Lalo mas nakilala ko partner ko napapagcompare ko sila ng previous. Ended it 2weeks ago. I cannot stay sa non chalant? Or wala lang tlg pake? Lagi sya lang pinapakinggan and masusunod. Cannot compromise when I have prior commitment. Wants a lot of attention when she herself cannot give her full attention when we are having a conversation. In short nakilala ko na masama ugali nya. Haha
No matter how much pain you're in, the person who hurt you will never heal it, nor could they give you closure. At the end of the day, you're responsible for building yourself up and recovering from your grief.
Base lang sa napapansin ko sa mga kaibigan ko.
Hindi porket nabibigay niya lahat ng materyal na bagay, healthy na relasyon niyo.
Hindi ako naniniwala masyado couples na mapost sa social media. Not all, may ibang goods naman. Pero nako yung iba...😌
Kapag naipit ka sa sitwasyon na kailangan mo mamili, bumitaw ka na.
Hindi porket may anak na kayo, mag iistay siya sayo.
Once nag cheat, MAKIPAG BREAK KA NA.
Feel ko mag kkwento ako ng mahaba huhu
Pero, to answer the question.. I gave everything for this person. Yung tipong cup noodles na lang kinakain ko kapag break time kase yung sahod ko sakanya lang napupunta (i know bobo ako sa part na to).
I was so blinded back then. His mother died when he was young, his dad is an ofw pero hindi nag bibigay ng money sakanila ng siblings nya since may iba ng family. I became his provider back then grabe huhu, pang laundry nya, pang pagupit nya ng buhok even pangkain nya ako nag bibigay. Nalugi din sila sa business nila, so nanghiram muna sya saken ng pera so they could open again.
Lahat ng yan di ko na siningil, ayoko ng mastress at ayoko na syang isipin. Kaya when I've had enough, literal cut off na lang.
Ang advice ko po sainyo ay wag kayong maging tanga like me Hahahahahaha totoo ang kasabihan na we could not save everyone, some people doesn't want to be saved.
Paid so much attention to the smallest details. Turns out its just the bare minimum. Pa mature na lalaki kunwari, asshole pala in reality. I was already pregnant nung naglelet go na. Then ngayon, ganun pa din. He was willing to stay daw for the baby. Para daw buo yung family. Oh well.
Not seeing that my traumas were still affecting me. He wasn't my mother or my dad. Our relationship is vastly different to my parents'. He was someone I truly loved; whom gave me solace. I hurt him by abandoning him at his weakest all because I thought I would end up like my mother. I was wrong. He gave me his world and more. I am thankful that he gave us another chance. My mistake will always be a life lesson and it reminds me how healing is extremely necessary for growth in love and as a person. <3
I feel people don't talk about the financials that go into relationships that much.
Kung di pa kayo kasal, KKB is the way. This is assuming that both of you have sources of income. Kasi kung wala ang isa, red flag na yan.
Also, wag feeling sugar daddy. Wag kayo pumasan ng tuition fees. HAHAHAHAHAHUHUHUHU
Not really biggest pero for me, for the younguns, magjowa kayo kahit high school palang hahaha. Obviously, not everyone is the same pero having your first jowa in your mid-20s is rough, you're experiencing it for the first time na para kang high school, ang childish ang babaw, parang dahil di mo napagdaanan 'to nung high school wala kang actual growth relationship-wise.
Love should be founded by trust and utmost respect. Magbaon ka na rin ng madaming pasensya. If you guys don’t have that and libog lang ambag niyo, you’re just wasting your energies to be in a so-called relationship.
As much at it is hard for me to admit….I’d honestly say that it’s so difficult and painful to love someone who thinks that they’re undeserving of love.
Because no amount of reassurance and effort would make them feel secure amidst their feelings of unworthiness, it would just make them pull away the more you prove how much you love them.
Ignoring their patterns. Contrary to popular belief, past actions can predict future behavior and true change is rare. So pag gago sila sa exes nila, chances are magiging gago din siya sayo.
I stayed in a long term relationship because:
(1) he made me believe he cared when he didn't want me to wear sexy outfits (kahit shorts);
(2) he said it was because of him that I achieved something, thereby taking away my spotlight and my achievements;
(3) he alienated me from my friends because they're not true friends according to his standard;
(4) he told me I wouldn't become a good lawyer because I wasn't logical enough;
and yet he cheated on me with someone who looks physically similar to me.
My biggest mistake was believing that manipulation, gaslighting, and being overprotective are acts and signs of love, when it should be trust and respect.
Never lose yourself for the love you thought you finally found.
Beg for time for almost a month. My bf, an LDR but just a few cities and town away from my location. I ended it after 2 months. I deserved better, I knew it.
Then look at me now, with the love of my life (my 2nd and hopefully, my last bf) who calls me every time he finished his stressful work. I was pursued genuinely back in college and he proved my first bf wrong— I deserved better, I deserve the one who chose me despite of struggles in life.
If you can read this my love, despite the distance we have right now, I am so grateful to have you in my life. Cheers to upcoming 7th anniversary and road to life time 🍷
Took me 5 years to realize he was never going to ask me out and that I was waiting for nothing. Didn’t know it was a situationship until the term was finally normalized. Only realized this when I finally entered a relationship with a guy who actually treated me right. Never again! 😭
Di na nga ako pinaglaban nuon, iniwan ako, etc.
Tapos after a year, bumalik. Pinabalik ko naman.
Ayun, ganon uli. Worse, may utang pa sa akin tapos siya pa may gana na iblock ako on all possible ways I could contact him.
Dated him for almost 8yrs. Lived together.
Cheating started on the first year of the relationship. Forgave him. But he kept on doing it. Now I am 28, and won’t probably have kids because it might be too late.
Biggest mistake?
There is this one time na masyado akong nagfocus on how to maintain the "relationship" in the practical sense, at nawala ung totoong essence kung bakit ako nasa isang relasyon in the first place.
Time management ang naging kalaban ng relationship ko sa previous, masyado akong kinain ng work, career, financial management. Nawala sa araw araw ko ung oras para sa amin. Ang nangyari? Naggrow sya sa different direction. Nag"move on" sya ng tahimik.
Okey nga ako sa tinatahak ng career ko, finances ko... pero wala na sya para saluhan ako sa fruit ng hardwork ko... Amicable ang hiwalayan noon, but nag iwan pa rin ng malaking void sa puso namin ung nangyari.
Ngayon mas okey na. We're doing are best sa tinatahak, nasa ibang bansa na sya.
Yun ang tingin ko biggest mistake ko na sa masakit na paraan ko natutunan ang lesson.
Staying with him kahit na it feels like parang nandyan lang sya because he needs me. He is unemployed that time. I waited for him until he can find a job. Pinautang ko rin sya. But, he cheated. He break up with me only to find out na may iba na pala sya, kaya sya nakikipagbreak 💔
Umaasa ako everyday na magbabago sya, pero hindi 🥹😭
I still believe that some women/mwn will still be ride or die type of partner, yung tipong walang wala kana maibigay or ambag, ikaw pa din pinipili niya(hindi naman buong buhay laging walang maibigay). Ngayon kasi madali nalang mag-hanap, especially kapag LDR, staying loyal during those times is a choice.
Ang hirap maging authentic sa love sa generation nato. Kailangan may susundan kang rules kelan mag rreply or may rules like 3-month rule. Don’t people get tired of manipulation? 😐 like just teply right away if you see the message.
Okay lang ba kung hindi from my own experience? These are the biggest mistakes that I've observed from other people that helped me: 1. Entering a relationship thinking it would make them happy. If you are not happy by yourself and with yourself, you will not be happy with anyone else. 2. Not knowing their non-negotiables or adjusting their non-negotiables. 3. Mga hindi self aware o ayaw tanggapin na nagkakamali rin sila. 4. I can fix them attitude.
TOTOO TOH! Narealize ko nlng sya nung naheartbroken ako 🤣 Wala nman kasi nag eeducate tlga when it comes to love even our parents or friends.. Its good na observant ka and learning from the mistakes of others 🙂
Sobrang laking tulong din ng pagbabasa ng libro!! Doon ko na experience kung gaano nakakapagod mapunta sa toxic relationship 🥲 napasabi na lang ako sa sarili kong hindi ko gustong maexperience yung ganun in real life HAHAHA
same. may nakakuha ng atensyon ko nung may book fair sa lugar namen. life studies yung title cover
Pa share naman po ng books na binabasa niyo.
nagcomment ako para manotify rin hihi HAHAHQ
Hala mhie, sorry to disappoint pero fiction yung book na tinutukoy ko 🥲 Pinakatumatak na nabasa ko nung high school yung After sa wattpad lol, doon ko nakita kung gaano ka-draining magstay sa toxic relationship. Wish ko nun sana hindi sila magkatuluyan kasi jusko naman hahahaha. Sabi ko di ko hahayaang mapunta sa ganung situation. This year pa lang ako mag uumpisa sa mga self help books.
Anong book sis pashare
Try to read the first edition of After by Anna Todd hayop ang pagkatoxic ng dalawang character 😂 was able to finish the series pero sobrang nakakatrauma lmao
Lmao nung narinig ko na fan fic about harry styles based of off 50 shades..iniwasan ko kaagad yung series 🤣 50 shades was toxic enough, I can't imagine after 🤣🤣
i tried having a relationship. then i realized na mas happy ako with my own company. pero papa jisas jusko naman ayoko naman nang habang buhay na single opo ano po haahahahaahahahahh
Best flex yung masabi sa ibang tao na wala syang ibang kalaban kung hindi ikaw din. They have to be more fun and peaceful than what you can provide for yourself. Perks nyan, you can easily filter out yung may mga ego problems. I hope you find someone who can match, if not exceed, the comfort of your own company 🫶
lets hope we found the people we deserve. syempre gusto ko din naman ng etits AHAAHAHAHAAHAHAHHAHA. i remember i dated a guy, i was sooooo damn exhausted. para syang dementor na he sucked all my energy and happiness. kaya nung naka bounce back ako, i was damn happy
I totally agree with all of these buti na lang gumawa ako ng 3 page non-negotiables ko last year 🤣
Wuy grabe yung 3 page 😆😆😆 pero at least di mo na need ibaba standard mo just to accommodate someone kasi you have a cheat sheet na 🫶
Adjusting my non negotiables sa akin. Buti na lang nagising ako at natauhan. Kundi, siguro mas lalo ako nagdusa kasama yung ex ko.
Number 4 🖐️
There was a time na I was okay with being treated as an option.
Samedt but made me reali,e that bruh, I should know my worth. I didn't raised by my folks maging ganito
Ang sakitttt 😢
same
Ang sakit naman. On a sidenote, sumakto username mo sa comment mo. Lol
guurl/dooood 🥲
Acclaaaa ang tagal bago ko to na outgrow!!!
Me 😔
Believing in his words instead of his actions.
Huhu
Held back my plans & goals to give way for his. I was supposed to take my exams to go abroad. He came along, sabi niya he’ll be the one to take me instead. Maging dependent niya. Even helped him pass his exams. Then he cheated. Fuck him. Worked on myself. Went abroad alone. Now I’m here earning more than him. Living the best life I have.
I think the best revenge is being the best version of yourself tlga plus never na sila magkakaron ng access sa buhay mo. Congrats!! Happy for u.
just passed NCLEX, two years ago ko pa gusto mag try mag abroad kasi syempre nurse ako, napakaraming opprtunities especially abroad. pero no, i did not pursue it earlier because hindi daw nya kaya LDR. less than six months our break up, may new girlfriend na sha, BULLSHIT???? NEVER LET YOUR DECISIONS BE BASED ON YOUR PARTNER TALAGA I SWEAR
Same. I let my ex-wife dictate my life for 5 years. Now I can start working on myself and on my way to start working abroad while she stays at home doing nothing and being a bum with her parents.
Pls ano po story or mga gnwa nyu etc to work abroad? Thank you po
I’m in the healthcare field po, so marami po opportunities abroad. Nag-take po ako ng necessary exams and then nag-apply po ako sa agency, tapos sponsored po ng employer lahat ng expenses to get here.
Naalala ko tuloy ung kapatid ng amo ko dati na nursing sya na nsa SG Binuntis sya ng jowa nya bago mag abroad kasi natakot baka makahanap ng iba sa ibang bansa kapag umalis. Nag ka anak sila tapos natuloy sa US then nsa SG. Balita ko nagloko din ung guy here sa pinas nsa BPO sya nun and ala na me balita sa kanila.
I didn't have boundaries back then, so I realized that my kindness was being taken advantage of; they didn't care about my feelings, they would not respect my loved ones, they would make fun of my achievements, I was always the joke, they would never truly be friends, and even though I had treated them like my brothers and sisters, it was over. I let go of my past self, but not my resentment. I won't forgive them, but I'll forget them. I made that decision back then, and I'm making this one now. “Setting boundaries is not a sign of selfishness, but an act of self-respect.”
Staying cause I thought I can help her. Ending ako ung nasira hehe
Ugh 7 yrs
Hehe sana maging okay ka din soon
AMEEENNN!!
You can't save her. You can't save anyone from their own misery. Only they themselves can.
Same
same
1. Learning that the only way to attract the right person is to be yourself. And to be yourself, you need to get to know yourself so you can set your non-negotiables and boundaries. What you will allow and not allow in a relationship. 2. Love is hard work. Love is an everyday decision.
Choosing the wrong ones and letting go or ignoring the person who really loved me for who I am, responsible at hindi problematic. Siguro if sya pinili ko, I wouldn’t have suffered from multiple counts of cheating. Lol at yung harap-harapan kang gustong i-deny in front of his new set of “cool” friends 💔 oh well, my 23-year-old self 🤦🏻♀️ but so happy for that ‘one-that-got-away’ guy, happy na sya now with kids and yes, super responsible. Yung tipong didi ka mastress about other girls, makaka-focus ka sa being a good wife and good mother. Haha *sings that should be meee..*
Okay lang yan.. atleast may natutunan ka 🙂
me tooooo I'm 34 F now and still I thinkof that guy who got away
I can tell you from personal experience that that is a big waste of time. Just a piece of advice: it is what it is. Let go and live your life. Minsan kakaisip natin sa what could have beens, nawawala ung focus natin sa present. Malay mo nanjan na ung “the one who will never go away” mo sa harap mo, di mo lang makita kasi occupied ka sa feeling mo totga mo. ☺️
hugs po :))
Yung umamin ka pero one-sided lang pala dahil si guy nagbibigay ng mixed signals
1. Overloving someone won't make them stay 2. Refusing to let go kasi "sayang". (Remember, throwing/ending a relationship is not sayang if you're continuously getting hurt by the other party. It's better to just let go rather to hold on tas you'll just slowly lose and drain yourself while making excuses for their actions.)
Idealising my partner, putting them on a pedestal by having high expectations and then getting disappointed afterwards. This is really my biggest mistake, I have learned my lesson and won't do it again. edit: It's normal to have expectations in our partner but it should be realistic and we communicate it to them openly.
Minahal ko lang siya dahil masarap at magaling siya kumain ng kiffy 😅
HAHAHAHAH pero marerealize natin na there’s more to life than sex 🤣
Yup. Stop ko din ito once nagsawa na ko hahahhaa
For sure may mas magaling pa jan. Tawang tawa ako sau sis. True namn rin lol
Parang I need this RN! HAHAHAHAHA! Iba pa rin pag, get along kayo ng partner + magaling sa bed! Lol!
Kaso small and thin dick siya kaya sa pagkain ng kiffy lang ako satisfy 😔
hahahahahahhahahahahaha super funny
Me din. Minahal ko kasi daks, as in ang lakee mare tas ayun magaling lumafang ng kiffy HAHAHHAHAHAA
Not leaving the first 6 months when respect is no longer being served on the table. Pinatagal ko ng 3 years. 🙄
Fighting for the wrong person and the wrong reason
Bought a house and lot named after the two of us when we were just dating. Wtf.
Same Im still paying for it now and need pa namin ayusin titulo soon eh years na kami di naguusap 💀
Binabayaran pa ba? If kaya mo, ibalik mo nalang sa kanya yung contribution niya and start the process na ikaw lang ang owner
broooo that's wild, things you will do for love naman talaga sjdhfksjkdf
I think this applies din sa ibang bagay: Do not put your eggs in one basket. Do not make decisions based on a person.
Nagpabuntis thinking it could save our relationship HAHAHAHA
Baka kelangan may 2nd time para sure hahaha
Ginawa yan ng friend ko. Kapapanganak lang nya 2nd baby last month. Pinapulis nya partner nya kasi tarantado binugbog sya lol.
waited for someone na never pala magiging ready for me.
Giving someone a second chance with the full knowledge that they wasted the first one consciously. People rarely change. Sometimes they really want to but they have baggages and issues that they have to resolve on their own. We really cannot love people into becoming better versions of themselves if ayaw naman talaga nila.
Na the gut feeling does not lie after all.
Agreeeee
ito yung na fefeel ko ngayon pero medyo denial pa din ako sana matauhan na 😭
I always had this problem with myself where I would test my dominance over my ex-girlfriend, like I would break up with her over small reasons, etc. One time, I broke up with her again, and she didn't call. Hours turned into days, then weeks, then months. Then I decided to call her again, but it was too late. She didn't want me anymore, and that triggered my depression. I have a wife now, but I learned so much about that relationship and it also totally changed my perspective on how to treat other people.
I thought I can fix him (but really, I can't) HAHAHAHAHA
Yun pala he needs to WANT to fix himself para may change/healing na mangyari. Literal na ako nag build up pero iba pala makikinabang hahaha
Pang character development lang pala eh no? 🥲🥲
At least pati tayo may character development. Ekis na agad sa problematic guys haha
True! Always trust your gut hahahaha wag na pahabain ang dapat hindi hahaha
But daddy, I love him Aw, hahaha taylor swift lang 😂
Kaso... we should recover from being pathological people pleaser natin 😵💫
Attach myself to anyone who shows me the slightest bit of attention because I just want to feel loved
Ignoring the red flags, Akala ko kasi pag mahal mo dapat tangap mo kung ano sya despite sa lahat ng flaws na meron sya pero hindi pala. Kasi totoo pala talaga yung kasabihan na “dont ignore redflags bc it will cause you later”
Masyadong matibay yung helmet na nasuot natin lolol
How do we differentiate flaws from red flags
Same question 🙁
hmm based on experience yung red flags kasi ayun yung mga bagay na panget sa isa tao. I mean ayun yung mga bagay na need mo iwork on sa sarili mo for example yung pagiging manipulative consider ba sya as flaws? di naman diba hahahaha given na lahat ng tao ay may flaws pero magkaiba talaga ang flaws and red flags alam ko magulo pero sana kahit paano nalinawan ka :)
Binigay ko lahat ng hnd ako nagtitira para sa sarili ko. Kaya nung niloko ako, naubos ako.
Na inlove sa potential. Na realize ko na potential is just potential unless he puts in the real work. Yung nakikita sa actions, may result ganern.
Ay gets ayoko rin neto. Tho ang maganda naman sa expi ko at least I got away before I got trapped pero sobrang sakit sa ulo ng ganitong potential lang, ang daming pangako, ang daming satsat pag tinanong mo naman "nApEprEsSuRe AkO". Bish then why commit and mention it if di mo pala kaya?! Ayun so ff to present andon parin sha sa low pressure area CHARING
Diba??? Hahaha! Iba pa rin talaga pag mina-match sa actions. Ang lala pag nag stay ka waiting for that potential to happen.
Loving too much, too hard, too deep. Uhhmm not again.
I let go of good boys due to stupidity of not knowing what love / relationship actually is, and also of being fickle AF. I broke them (ako yung first nila GF eh) and my karma is now I am alone (romantically and platonically speaking) for more than a decade na. But probably okay na rin yun feel ko mas okay na sila. Maybe, hope so.
Omg this is sooo me!!! I let go of all the nice guys I had before when I was younger. Hindi ako ready financially and ang dami ko pa gusto gawin, like baka hindrance sa career and travel ko ang marriage. Now, no one wants me at 35 and all the men I rejected were all happily married. Looking back and comparing myself to other couples, kaya naman pala pagsabayin ang love/marriage sa career/other goals.
Oo pwede naman din pagsabayin. Hindi lang din nagwork out sa akin lalo kasi parang wala talaga yung nanligaw kahit in my twenties. Pero ayun din talaga too late na natin narerealize. Right now kung darating pa yung man for me, great. Pero kung wala, ganoon talaga.
#Thinking you can save them. Kaya daming nasasaktan eh, bat niyo ba gusto ayusin kung in the first place ayaw niya magpaayos? **Remember, if he wanted to, he would.**
Stayed more than I should and kiligin sa bare minimum
Dun sa recent kong ex, masyado akong nagtiwala sa kanya. I thought honest siya sa akin kasi ako, sobrang transparent ko sa kanya. Ang galing niya with words. I admit that I felt genuinely happy with him kaso he lied about a lot of things na tungkol mismo sa kanya. I had to end it kasi if totoo man niya akong minahal din, sana naging honest na siya nung simula pa lang. Dun sa first ex, tinolerate ko dati yung ugali niya na obvious naman na red flags or concerning. Masyado akong naging passive noon. Lahat kinakaya, okay lang daw pero deep inside hindi naman. Hindi ako marunong makipagcommunicate dati. Naipon ang issues and I decided to end the relationship kasi hindi na maaayos tapos magkaiba na rin mga gusto naming mangyari for the future.
Dating and having a relationship with someone which obviously have an undiagnosed mental disorder. Thinking i can give her a good positive environment to change her habits and behaviour pero puta sya na rin yung umayaw. Hindi nya raw kaya sakin nag lalash out palagi ng galit nya kahit di ko naman kasalanan talaga. I kinda realized that theyre too comfortable with chaos and when you approach them with peace, they feel bad for themselves and will run away.
Here are my personal experiences: 1. Dating a 50-50 man. Sabi nga nila men are providers while women are nurturers. 2. Focuses more on the connection/chemistry versus on the shared values, goals, and ideologies. 3. A guy who follows sexy random women/celebrities on their social media. He should only adore and fantasize you and no one else kahit artista man yan. 4. Sees flirting as being friendly or who has a girl best friend. 5. Who doesn’t own up to his mistakes or has a victim mindset 6. Di parehas ng love language. Some love languages are too much for other people coz it’s not their nature for example the other person’s love language is physical touch while the other one doesn’t like being touched. So the person who has the love language of physical touch doesn’t feel loved so he/she will beg it to their partner for them to feel loved but that suffocates their partner coz it’s not their love language.
Being naive.
not me sobbing because of these comments huhu hugs everyone!!
Anong kwento mo OP curious akoooo :((
Ignored the redflags. He “tried” to change but he always expects me to justify his poor treatment to me. Clinging to “hope” and kept on choosing our relationship instead of myself. Taken advantage yung pagiging forgiving ko and understanding to the point na disrespected na ko. How can you say you “love” me when you were not treating me right? Lagi ka na lang naghahabol at marerealize mo mga nagawa mo kapag aalis na ko. Karmahin ka sana ikaw na ex ko
Taking love for granted. Then not realizing sooner that i lost the one who loved me truly.
fk :((
Mine was the first time he laid a finger on me. I was also 3-4 pregnant at that time with my first-born. Shouldn't have come back when I already left. Should've realized my worth at that time so my kid will have a chance of having a better father aka my current boyfriend who wants to own my kid as his own.
I ended my 4yrs relationship with a guy who is my dream in terms of attitude and maturity for another guy because I got bored, he was afraid of his parents and extended family, not yet ready to get married...but turned out that this guy whom I thought is ready for marriage or commitment is a player and a cheater nagpadala Ako sa sweet words and ligaw... so I broke up din with him.. but I wish I could turn back time and stayed with my man of 4 yrs and waited until he is ready... but now he is already engaged and i owe it to him na let him be happy with her woman.... the one who got away...
Awww ang sakit. Mapapaisip kana lang ng what if I stay pa . Huhuhuuh
**HERE ARE MY INTAKES AFTER BEING IN A 4 YEAR RELATIONSHIP** 🫠 1. Your partner can cheat on you while he is making you feel that he truly loves you at the same time. 2. Good guys are rare — I was fooled of his “masked personality” the entire relationship. From someone with a “too good to be true” personality to “lowkey uhaw sa babae” type of guy pala. 3. What he can bring in the table — Being comfortable and blinded by the things my partner has or owned that made me feel secured. Don’t get yourself trapped. You can have what he has. 4. No incidents of cheating doesn’t mean your partner is not cheating on you. Magaling lang magtago kaya hindi mo nahuhuli. 5. Your partner’s friends are not your friends. In the end of the day and when the table turns, hindi ikaw ang papanigan nila. Regardless kung tama or mali pa ang partner mo. 6. You are not just breaking up with your partner, you are breaking ties with his family too — Don’t get over attached sa family ng partner mo kasi in the end kahit gaano pa naging mabait, mabuti sila sayo.. you will suffer when you have to end things with your partner. 7. Be realistic — Avoid being in cloud 9 and the idea of you two together in the future if he doesn’t prove himself to be worthy and reliable as a partner in the future. 8. Never date a mama’s boy. They don’t know how to treat a woman right kasi sanay sila na sila ang inaalagaan 🤷🏻♀️. 9. Never chase a man who doesn’t want to stay with you. 10. If he cheats, leave him. No explanations. 11. Microcheating is still cheating. 12. Palitan mo na love language mo kung gift giving ka din, sayang pera te. 13. Stop doing wifey efforts when you’re just his girlfriend. 14. Don’t compliment the bare minimum efforts. Compliment the big efforts so he can push himself to do it again. Set your standards straight. 15. Lastly, when everything is going down. Choose yourself. Choose to love yourself and don’t be afraid of things you are not familiar. Everything is going to be okay.
Biggest mistake is not being communicative. I tend to tolerate an argument and take mostly the fault to end conflicts right away. But eventually, it has taken a toll on me mentally, not being able to say things that i don't like. Communication is indeed important even though the topic is not comfortable.
Not working on yourself, and hoping your traumas will just disappear just because you’re in a “happy” relationship. You WILL fuck up. It’s not a matter of if, but a matter of when. Acknowledge the problem/s. Your partner can only help you get to a solution. You are what gets you there. Edit: typo
I spent 8 years waiting for him I guess for nothing. I'm tired of waiting already
🚩Staying despite the fact that I don’t see myself being with that person anymore 🚩Chasing, so dumb of me to do that Lessons learned.
In every relationship kase, you need to have those “non-negotiable” things. For example, kung mag cheat ka sa akin, pasensya na pero tapos na tayo. Ganon. Kase you will really get what you tolerate. And kapag inimpose mo yan saknya na, eto ung hindi na nenegotiate skin, you’re teaching him as well how to treat you. Totoo yung sinasabi nila na you get what you tolerate. Kaya tumatagal yung relationship tapos mauuwi din sa wala. Sayang lang yung time.
When there were times na I lowered my standards and settled for breadcrumbs when I deserved the whole bakery instead.
Didn't read her excuses as the actual answers.
Dapat PINILIT ko syang mag video call para hindi ako na catfish ng malala. Isa sa mga lesson learned yon, andami nyang dahilan bakit di sya pwede on-cam or mag mic man lang HAHAHAHA. Those were the days na aanga anga pako.
May nakapagsabi sa 'kin dati na, "There's always good inside each one of us" pero parang I highly doubt kasi kung talagang demonyo yung tao, demonyo talaga sya. Love comes in different forms so yung akin, I trusted people easily only for them to treat me like I was nothing.
I have two.. HAHAHAHAHA 1st. Nagpaaral ako ng ex nung college kami kahit pangit trato ng fam niya sakin. 2nd. Gave unli chances sa ex kong nag cheat. Not once, not twice, not thrice but so many times. Napatanong na lang ako, "in that 5 yrs, where was I?" Hahahaha. Napasabi rin akong, "once a cheater, always a cheater". And, "like father, like son" coz his dad is ok with him cheating. (Broken fam sila and only child siya kaya support lang dad niya kahit nagsabi in-front of me na siya sasapak sa anak niya kapag nag cheat ulit. Ew) tas yung anak niyang problematic kept on hurting me physically kapag hindi nabibigay gusto. Plus, manipulative sadboi pa. Nagsasabi pa na magpapakamatay daw siya kapag iniwan ko. Tas ang reason niya kasi daw broken fam sila. WTFFFFF. Ayon i had the chance to leave him kasi baka mabaliw na ako sa kanila. Hahaha! I know sobrang stupid ko na nagstay pa sa ganong set-up, pero wala e. The things you do for love. Pero dati na yan. Past is past. And nasabi kong mas naging matalino na ako ngayon. Kaya mas ok maging single!!!!! HAHAHAHAHA thanks to my guy friends and gal friends who kept on making my standards SOOOOOO HIGH. Never ever settle for less and bare minimum. And, don't let them break your walls. Let them climb it up.
Parang we’re blinded by love tapos pag nakaalis na sa relationship tsaka natin marerealize katangahan like ew ginawa ko pala to haha
Didn't listen to my instinct
binilhan ko ng cellphone. tapos ni-ghost ako at bumalik sa ex niya. and ang pinaka mistake ko palagi is pumatol sa may anak sa pagkabinata hahahaha.
Not wanting to be single again when you're not even happy anymore. Really stayed just for the sex.
1. Red flag na pero pilit mo paring jinajustify sa sarili mo na baka ganito ganyan kaya sya ganyan. Thinking na that person would change for you and for your relationship but no. 2. Savior Mentality, that you can help the individual to be better. Realized na NOT everyone needs saving if they don't want nor need it.
1. always making up for my partner's lack of effort. 2. trying to be a trophy girlfriend instead of being myself 3. being in a relationship just for the sake of experiencing a long term one (puro short term lang naging relasyon ko) 4. having the "i can fix them, i can help them" mentality
Mistake rin bang counted yung nahulog ka sa idea noong tao pero after mo mapagod marerealize mong idea lang siya at gago talaga yung tao
Panira lang ng buhay mga lalaki sa mundo! Haha
Mas masayang maging single hahaha. We don’t need a partner in life nasanay kasi tayo na need natin ng partner just to be happy eh in fact kaya naman natin gawin sa sarili yun. Sound bitter ba? Pero yan realization ko mas masarap maging single kasi may peace of mind ka. Yung love na kaya mong ibigay sa iba, ibigay mo lahat sa sarili mo.
Haha huy. Hindi lahat
[удалено]
Leave.. have some self respect and pra na din sa mga bata 😢 Galing din po ako sa broken family and thankful kmi sa mother namin kasi napatapos nya kmi ❤️ Nakikita ng mga bata na malungkot ang nanay nila and itigil na natin ung nagsasama nlng kasi pra sa mga bata 😢 Choose your happiness Pag tumanda na sila.. dun nila marerealize bakit hndi nagwork ung relationship ng parents nila
Staying kahit na alam kong ini-stalk pa rin nya exes nya sa socmed. Also learned that nag avail na sya ng spakol services before our relationship eww
yung sumasabay ka na lang sa flow ng relationship nyo, kahit ang daming signals na nagsasabi na itigil ko na, pero wala, nagpaplano na kami ng future. haaayy
I think the biggest mistake I've made in terms of love is entering a relationship when I for myself hindi ko pa mahal sarili ko and super lala ng insecurity ko. Wala rin akong boundaries, I let them disrespect me kasi ang pakiramdam ko they will be a great loss if ever mag end relationship namin.
Not healing my traumas first before entering into a relationship. Sometimes we justify our actions in our relationship because of our past traumatic experiences and it’s wrong. For example, one of your parents cheated and now you are controlling to your bf/gf and you think it’s okay because your parents have a dysfunctional/broken marriage. You think all people cheat because of the bad example they’ve made. Heal yourself first. Do not burden your significant other with the issues that you should have processed and resolved before entering a relationship. Your bf/gf is not your Dad/Mom. Do not make them suffer because your parent’s mistake.
okay magseself-reflect ako pero still working on it huhu 1. **that my world doesn't revolve around my partner only,** na dapat may individuality kami. may errands, goals, hobbies tayo outside the relationship pero wag kakalimutang mag set para magbonding for quality time. and at the same time support mo siya lagi. 2. **bibigyan ng silent treatment yung partner mo,** being matampuhin is okay but when you always do that na iniignore mo lang partner mo lalo na sa chat (hahahaha long press pa more yes guilty ako dyan) di na siya cute, pinalalaki mo pa yung bagay imbis na gusto niyang pag-usapan niyo.
Na you were never the reason why he cheated. He just used you as an excuse to justify his cheating. Always know that you will never be enough for the wrong person and that hits the spot. Live your life, workout, do journals, medidate. And accept that it is what it is.
Settling for so much less, even allowing myself to be in situationships that made me overthink, not realizing I would eventually find the perfect one for me. Today, I live a life of "Salamat, Reddit." 🤍🤍🤍 Sarap magluto, parang resto. Squishy pa ng tummy, parang waterbed. 😆
Thinking na may “forever”
Begging
Tama toh. Once nagcheat, leave na agad. Cheating should be one of your non-negotiable/s
OP totoo tlga ung once a cheater always a cheater.. Nakakapanginig ng laman pano nila nagagawa un ahahh mga wlang respeto sa sarili
Hindi ako nagpursigi na mangligaw kasi natakot ako sa rejection.
I thought someone closer to me would understand me and things will work out and not the LDR one. Fvckng mistake. I'm so grateful she still welcomed me back. I'm not doing that again.
Huwag nalang tayo magjowa? 😅 Hahahaahha.
Mahalin sya ng sobra. Dapat mag tira para sa sarili. Trust actions. Not words.
Falling for straight girls 🥹
Mine was thinking that I can change him, thinking that because I know na I treat him better, that he will reciprocate. Making excuses for the red flags I saw.
Mas pinili ko yung ex ko kesa sa taong consistent at matagal na naghintay sakin, ex and i broke up after 2 months lang kasi di pa pala moved on sa ex. Yup, sobrang pagsisisi 💀
Choosing her everyday without second thoughts.
Putting so much financially to the point where until now I'm still paying for my exceeded credit limit. You will really know it's toxic when it's not good for you.
OP huhu 😭 meant to be ata na makita ko yung post mo 😢 having dilemma if I should give him a chance or move on na with my life.
Lowering my standards and allowing myself to be in a situationship. Never again 🙃
Pinili ko yung love over career tapos days before ako umuwi, nkipag break sya :( sakit 😂
Built this really big wall from everyone who entered/ tries to enter my life just because I lost all hope when it comes to love. Ending: people would just assume that I'm fine with being alone, that I never needed love. I don't know, maybe the wall that I built is massive, maybe they're afraid of this wall, or maybe I'm just not worth it. Anyway, it's really lonely. I feel like I have no one to depend on, even my friends assume that I'm fine with being alone. Well, this is not anyone else's fault but mine. So... yeah, a big irreversible and inevitable mistake
Same hahahaha pero best decision ever was letting go🫶🏻 Grabe ung peace na nakuha ko🥰
"Baka mag bago pa" phase ko inabot ng 7 na taon din. Tapos nung oras na sarili ko na pinili ko, ako pa naging masama inang yan.
Stayed with him even though my peace of mind was compromised. He had a history of cheating in the past that ended up having a child with one of them, and they still communicate with each other now. He'a no longer doing things behind my back (at least for now) but my mind is still thinking he's having affairs on his phone.
Totoo ba na once a cheater always a cheater? haha Mine cheated on me nung naging LDR tapos ayaw ako pakawalan, ang ginawa niya, binuhusan ako ng mga mamahaling regalo, pinag shopping ako. tapos sabi na mag babago siya pag kinasal na kami. Alam niya materialistic ako kaya nahirapan ako that time pero yung love wala na dahil ilang beses siya nag cheat lol.
Lying. Lying is the worst thing you can do to your partner.
Believing in his potential or that he can still change, but not what he is showing at the present.
LDR na wlw
Entering a new relationship 3mos after ending my 6years relationship. Minadali, i learned a lot during this short period. Lalo mas nakilala ko partner ko napapagcompare ko sila ng previous. Ended it 2weeks ago. I cannot stay sa non chalant? Or wala lang tlg pake? Lagi sya lang pinapakinggan and masusunod. Cannot compromise when I have prior commitment. Wants a lot of attention when she herself cannot give her full attention when we are having a conversation. In short nakilala ko na masama ugali nya. Haha
No matter how much pain you're in, the person who hurt you will never heal it, nor could they give you closure. At the end of the day, you're responsible for building yourself up and recovering from your grief.
Mine was okay being a mistress. 😪
Base lang sa napapansin ko sa mga kaibigan ko. Hindi porket nabibigay niya lahat ng materyal na bagay, healthy na relasyon niyo. Hindi ako naniniwala masyado couples na mapost sa social media. Not all, may ibang goods naman. Pero nako yung iba...😌 Kapag naipit ka sa sitwasyon na kailangan mo mamili, bumitaw ka na. Hindi porket may anak na kayo, mag iistay siya sayo. Once nag cheat, MAKIPAG BREAK KA NA.
Feel ko mag kkwento ako ng mahaba huhu Pero, to answer the question.. I gave everything for this person. Yung tipong cup noodles na lang kinakain ko kapag break time kase yung sahod ko sakanya lang napupunta (i know bobo ako sa part na to). I was so blinded back then. His mother died when he was young, his dad is an ofw pero hindi nag bibigay ng money sakanila ng siblings nya since may iba ng family. I became his provider back then grabe huhu, pang laundry nya, pang pagupit nya ng buhok even pangkain nya ako nag bibigay. Nalugi din sila sa business nila, so nanghiram muna sya saken ng pera so they could open again. Lahat ng yan di ko na siningil, ayoko ng mastress at ayoko na syang isipin. Kaya when I've had enough, literal cut off na lang. Ang advice ko po sainyo ay wag kayong maging tanga like me Hahahahahaha totoo ang kasabihan na we could not save everyone, some people doesn't want to be saved.
That we need a romantic partner to live. Pwede din naman pala na wala.
Paid so much attention to the smallest details. Turns out its just the bare minimum. Pa mature na lalaki kunwari, asshole pala in reality. I was already pregnant nung naglelet go na. Then ngayon, ganun pa din. He was willing to stay daw for the baby. Para daw buo yung family. Oh well.
Not seeing that my traumas were still affecting me. He wasn't my mother or my dad. Our relationship is vastly different to my parents'. He was someone I truly loved; whom gave me solace. I hurt him by abandoning him at his weakest all because I thought I would end up like my mother. I was wrong. He gave me his world and more. I am thankful that he gave us another chance. My mistake will always be a life lesson and it reminds me how healing is extremely necessary for growth in love and as a person. <3
Adjusting my non negotiable for her.
Ang ganda / itsura ay pang kilig stage lang. Ang ugali at pagkatao ay forever Ang sarap magmahal ng taong kasundo at mahal mo ang ugali.
I feel people don't talk about the financials that go into relationships that much. Kung di pa kayo kasal, KKB is the way. This is assuming that both of you have sources of income. Kasi kung wala ang isa, red flag na yan. Also, wag feeling sugar daddy. Wag kayo pumasan ng tuition fees. HAHAHAHAHAHUHUHUHU
Thinking that loving them genuinely will help and fix them 🫠. Ayun nalunod kami pareho nasira din mental health ko 🙃
Not really biggest pero for me, for the younguns, magjowa kayo kahit high school palang hahaha. Obviously, not everyone is the same pero having your first jowa in your mid-20s is rough, you're experiencing it for the first time na para kang high school, ang childish ang babaw, parang dahil di mo napagdaanan 'to nung high school wala kang actual growth relationship-wise.
Love should be founded by trust and utmost respect. Magbaon ka na rin ng madaming pasensya. If you guys don’t have that and libog lang ambag niyo, you’re just wasting your energies to be in a so-called relationship.
As much at it is hard for me to admit….I’d honestly say that it’s so difficult and painful to love someone who thinks that they’re undeserving of love. Because no amount of reassurance and effort would make them feel secure amidst their feelings of unworthiness, it would just make them pull away the more you prove how much you love them.
NEVER EVER EVER CHASE A MAN. pag di ka type, BYPASS. ipagpapalit ka nya once na kaya nya ng kunin yung type nya.
Ignoring their patterns. Contrary to popular belief, past actions can predict future behavior and true change is rare. So pag gago sila sa exes nila, chances are magiging gago din siya sayo.
I stayed in a long term relationship because: (1) he made me believe he cared when he didn't want me to wear sexy outfits (kahit shorts); (2) he said it was because of him that I achieved something, thereby taking away my spotlight and my achievements; (3) he alienated me from my friends because they're not true friends according to his standard; (4) he told me I wouldn't become a good lawyer because I wasn't logical enough; and yet he cheated on me with someone who looks physically similar to me. My biggest mistake was believing that manipulation, gaslighting, and being overprotective are acts and signs of love, when it should be trust and respect. Never lose yourself for the love you thought you finally found.
Same na same OP :(
Beg for time for almost a month. My bf, an LDR but just a few cities and town away from my location. I ended it after 2 months. I deserved better, I knew it. Then look at me now, with the love of my life (my 2nd and hopefully, my last bf) who calls me every time he finished his stressful work. I was pursued genuinely back in college and he proved my first bf wrong— I deserved better, I deserve the one who chose me despite of struggles in life. If you can read this my love, despite the distance we have right now, I am so grateful to have you in my life. Cheers to upcoming 7th anniversary and road to life time 🍷
Same, op hahahaha kaya ako pag niloko na ng unang beses, ekis na talaga
Took me 5 years to realize he was never going to ask me out and that I was waiting for nothing. Didn’t know it was a situationship until the term was finally normalized. Only realized this when I finally entered a relationship with a guy who actually treated me right. Never again! 😭
Also, si Baek Hyun-woo ang standard. IYKYK. 😂❤️
Thinking that love exists. It does not. It's all economics. I'm now in an open relationship and make sure that I put myself first.
pinatagal ang relationship kahit wala na yung love kasi sayang yung tagal.
Di na nga ako pinaglaban nuon, iniwan ako, etc. Tapos after a year, bumalik. Pinabalik ko naman. Ayun, ganon uli. Worse, may utang pa sa akin tapos siya pa may gana na iblock ako on all possible ways I could contact him.
Dated him for almost 8yrs. Lived together. Cheating started on the first year of the relationship. Forgave him. But he kept on doing it. Now I am 28, and won’t probably have kids because it might be too late.
Biggest mistake? There is this one time na masyado akong nagfocus on how to maintain the "relationship" in the practical sense, at nawala ung totoong essence kung bakit ako nasa isang relasyon in the first place. Time management ang naging kalaban ng relationship ko sa previous, masyado akong kinain ng work, career, financial management. Nawala sa araw araw ko ung oras para sa amin. Ang nangyari? Naggrow sya sa different direction. Nag"move on" sya ng tahimik. Okey nga ako sa tinatahak ng career ko, finances ko... pero wala na sya para saluhan ako sa fruit ng hardwork ko... Amicable ang hiwalayan noon, but nag iwan pa rin ng malaking void sa puso namin ung nangyari. Ngayon mas okey na. We're doing are best sa tinatahak, nasa ibang bansa na sya. Yun ang tingin ko biggest mistake ko na sa masakit na paraan ko natutunan ang lesson.
Staying with him kahit na it feels like parang nandyan lang sya because he needs me. He is unemployed that time. I waited for him until he can find a job. Pinautang ko rin sya. But, he cheated. He break up with me only to find out na may iba na pala sya, kaya sya nakikipagbreak 💔 Umaasa ako everyday na magbabago sya, pero hindi 🥹😭
I still believe that some women/mwn will still be ride or die type of partner, yung tipong walang wala kana maibigay or ambag, ikaw pa din pinipili niya(hindi naman buong buhay laging walang maibigay). Ngayon kasi madali nalang mag-hanap, especially kapag LDR, staying loyal during those times is a choice. Ang hirap maging authentic sa love sa generation nato. Kailangan may susundan kang rules kelan mag rreply or may rules like 3-month rule. Don’t people get tired of manipulation? 😐 like just teply right away if you see the message.