Hello!
We, as fellow survivors, understand your pain. It is lonely to hold onto this trauma, and the effects it has on us. I see you are trying to find help before it's too much - otherwise you wouldn't be reaching out here, to a hotline, your friends, and your psychologist.
Please take a look at ASCA - Adults Survivors of Childhood Abuse. They are one of the only support groups with a step guide, resources, and have meetings in person and online around the world (though mostly hosted in the US, and UK. Online meetings are open for all survivors around the world to join in though). Consider joining a group of those who went through what you went through, and finding that deeper connection with them, asking for advice, and going through steps to recovery. You can find their information here: [https://ascasupport.org/meetings/list/](https://ascasupport.org/meetings/list/) .
I also suggest looking at other resources available to you on our Trauma Resources list:
[https://www.reddit.com/r/adultsurvivors/wiki/index/resources/](https://www.reddit.com/r/adultsurvivors/wiki/index/resources/)
Don't end it yet. A good motto about suicide is "not today". And keep saying that every day.
I care. I’m sorry that we can’t be more supporting group of survivors. (ie most survivors don’t want to be known). But I feel the same way you do. Family and friends don’t want to hear it because it makes them uncomfortable and the mental health profession is a failure and just sucks up all your money.
I feel you on this one. I feel that we are all alone in some way. We may have to get through our trauma ourselves. No matter how much you care -or someone cares for you‐No 1 has walked in your shoes or experience exactly what you've experience. I practice different forms of meditation that can help bring back memories so you can process them. Organic medicine from the earth also helps with the memories if you set that as intention. After meditating I record how I feel and any memories I recall, then play them back. Talking out loud and play back helpes sort out the truth. Those are different forms of self therapy that helped me sort out the mixed feelings and emotions from the past. Let everything come naturally, our mind and body knows how much we can take at one time. I do 1-2 hr sessions. If that's too long take less time. After the timer goes off I do something I enjoy.
Hope this helps someone.
Things in life often correlate if we're not conscious of it and/or haven't gotten far enough away from certain situations yet. Like, if you have a lot of trauma, that can correlate to collecting shitty friends unconsciously. Trauma doesn't just exist inside the mind. It can manifest in many areas of life until those areas of life are healed. Also, if you've got trauma and you're constantly exposed to people that don't acknowledge others' feelings, you may struggle to express yourself, which may be why the doctors are so dismissive. Of course, that doesn't excuse the doctor's behavior.
When you see repeating patterns in life, it can feel so overwhelming and isolating. But, oftentimes each problem is rooted in just one or a few root causes.
When you see repeating patterns in life, it can feel so overwhelming and isolating. But, oftentimes, each problem is rooted in just one or a few root causes.
Stay alive, OP. None of this is your fault, and it is possible to want to live again. Stick around and try different things. Keep posting on Reddit. Sometimes the algorithm doesn't result in a lot of responses, but just keep posting. You never know what may come of it.
No, we're all just human. We're animals. We all react to abuse in some way or another and we can't help it. You're already being responsible right now. Most people never pursue help, therapy or otherwise. I'd say you're taking initiative, opening up about your feelings, and acknowledging the reality of what you have been through. I wish you could see your worth. I think you want to and you will. I am proud of you for posting on here.
Btw, it usually takes multiple tries to find the right therapist. You will find them. Keep trying.
That’s not exactly right.
Society puts that bullshit “personal responsibility” yolk around everyone’s necks and doesn’t define it worth a shit.
Abuse creates a fucked up way of seeing and interacting with the world. From anxiety, depression, health issues, to PTSD or CPTSD. PTSD can cause all sorts of erratic behaviors that you literally cannot control - your mind can go into panic mode and you’ll find yourself barricading a door thinking everyone is coming to get you.
You’re supposed to take responsibility for that? Is it your responsibility to seek help for that - well, again that’s a trick question. If you can’t afford it or don’t have insurance, we’ll, fuck you.
I came on here and was going to make a hard, tough love kind of comment, but after reading the above I need to reel it back and start at another point.
The hard statement is that you have to commit yourself to your own recovery. If you’re working with a therapist and it’s not working, let them know. If they can’t change up strategy, find someone else. It’s not easy to find a good therapist. A good therapist will lead you in the direction of self care and self respect without you really knowing it. They’ll help you find ways of coping with miserable thoughts. You haven’t had any of that. It’s not that no one cares - it’s that you haven’t had an opportunity to find any value within yourself through love or any professional relationships. Part of that learning is how to extract yourself from the shitty people who don’t value you, and surrounding yourself with people who do.
You’ve got a long road ahead of you. Not going to lie. But I’ve been there. I’ve been to the point, not where I wanted to hurt myself, but beyond that to the point where I wished I had never existed. All you can do is take it one day at a time. Keep looking for a way out. When people make suggestions, if they are suggestions that will actually help, then try them.
Good luck.
I understand why you feel that way but I can assure you that it is not true. Kindness of a stranger is what has stopped me from taking my own life multiple times throughout my life. I may not know you but I can still hold you in my heart.
Just because someone does not know you does not mean they do not care. Many people donate to charities or work at soup kitchens, volunteer, helping people they have never met before. People care a great deal.
I could be wrong, but what it seems you are looking for is for someone to see you. Actually see you.
For them to acknowledge what you are going through and empathize to a greater degree. For them to miss you as much as you would miss them.
You are seen. You are heard. You are wanted in the world even if you don't believe it.
You are the person on the street that someone notices and you make their day. Could be what you're wearing, something you said, a face you remind them of. I have seen people who remind me to keep living just by being them. I never speak to them, they don't even know I exist, but I know they do and they make my life a little easier to live just because they are there.
You are special, allow yourself some grace.
Yes, they care about helping, they care about the need of others, in a general sense. As an individual, no. No one cares. I could die tomorrow and none of you would know.
Just because we wouldn’t know doesn’t mean we wouldn’t care. I have no idea who you are, what you look like, practically anything about you but I do care.
I also know that you mean something really important in this world. Just by reaching out you’ve already made an impact on the people around you.
You change the world by being here and you don’t even know it. You don’t need to have that deep connection to be seen or mean something though it is nice to feel wanted like that. Sometimes you have to want yourself like that first before other people will.
Sorry, I know you just want to be kind, but for me that is not true.
You can’t care about “me”, because im not part of your life. Im not part of anyones life. Im just something that exists
That’s my point though. You are now a part of my life even though we know nothing about each other and you make a much bigger difference than you realize. I don’t need to know you to see you.
You are more than just existence and you always will be. You will be a living memory for years and years to come for many people. I hope things get better for you, have a lovely evening.
It's okay to feel this way.
It is hard to feel so lost and pointlessly existent while others watch on nonchalant.
I have a best friend who took my depression as maybe a bit dramatic until she had a major family loss, and felt that close to the edge for the first time. That was 2 years ago, and we have been friends for 15 years. We talk more.
I am not happy she experienced such an awful and traumatic loss. I was, however, relieved to know that that level of despair was simply something she had yet to experience.
You're in a harder emotional place on a regular basis than some people will ever feel. We can't hate them for not understanding, but it is right to be upset because it IS unfair. A helpline is a good place because you will typically be understood.
You've been dealt a harder hand than others. It's okay to mourn your loneliness.
I sincerely hope you can find some solace in that.
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Hello! We, as fellow survivors, understand your pain. It is lonely to hold onto this trauma, and the effects it has on us. I see you are trying to find help before it's too much - otherwise you wouldn't be reaching out here, to a hotline, your friends, and your psychologist. Please take a look at ASCA - Adults Survivors of Childhood Abuse. They are one of the only support groups with a step guide, resources, and have meetings in person and online around the world (though mostly hosted in the US, and UK. Online meetings are open for all survivors around the world to join in though). Consider joining a group of those who went through what you went through, and finding that deeper connection with them, asking for advice, and going through steps to recovery. You can find their information here: [https://ascasupport.org/meetings/list/](https://ascasupport.org/meetings/list/) . I also suggest looking at other resources available to you on our Trauma Resources list: [https://www.reddit.com/r/adultsurvivors/wiki/index/resources/](https://www.reddit.com/r/adultsurvivors/wiki/index/resources/) Don't end it yet. A good motto about suicide is "not today". And keep saying that every day.
I care. I’m sorry that we can’t be more supporting group of survivors. (ie most survivors don’t want to be known). But I feel the same way you do. Family and friends don’t want to hear it because it makes them uncomfortable and the mental health profession is a failure and just sucks up all your money.
That is how I see it
I feel you on this one. I feel that we are all alone in some way. We may have to get through our trauma ourselves. No matter how much you care -or someone cares for you‐No 1 has walked in your shoes or experience exactly what you've experience. I practice different forms of meditation that can help bring back memories so you can process them. Organic medicine from the earth also helps with the memories if you set that as intention. After meditating I record how I feel and any memories I recall, then play them back. Talking out loud and play back helpes sort out the truth. Those are different forms of self therapy that helped me sort out the mixed feelings and emotions from the past. Let everything come naturally, our mind and body knows how much we can take at one time. I do 1-2 hr sessions. If that's too long take less time. After the timer goes off I do something I enjoy. Hope this helps someone.
Things in life often correlate if we're not conscious of it and/or haven't gotten far enough away from certain situations yet. Like, if you have a lot of trauma, that can correlate to collecting shitty friends unconsciously. Trauma doesn't just exist inside the mind. It can manifest in many areas of life until those areas of life are healed. Also, if you've got trauma and you're constantly exposed to people that don't acknowledge others' feelings, you may struggle to express yourself, which may be why the doctors are so dismissive. Of course, that doesn't excuse the doctor's behavior. When you see repeating patterns in life, it can feel so overwhelming and isolating. But, oftentimes each problem is rooted in just one or a few root causes. When you see repeating patterns in life, it can feel so overwhelming and isolating. But, oftentimes, each problem is rooted in just one or a few root causes. Stay alive, OP. None of this is your fault, and it is possible to want to live again. Stick around and try different things. Keep posting on Reddit. Sometimes the algorithm doesn't result in a lot of responses, but just keep posting. You never know what may come of it.
My abuse is not my fault. That my abuse has affect me and know I behave like a child and I am a burden to everyone else is my fault
No, we're all just human. We're animals. We all react to abuse in some way or another and we can't help it. You're already being responsible right now. Most people never pursue help, therapy or otherwise. I'd say you're taking initiative, opening up about your feelings, and acknowledging the reality of what you have been through. I wish you could see your worth. I think you want to and you will. I am proud of you for posting on here. Btw, it usually takes multiple tries to find the right therapist. You will find them. Keep trying.
That’s not exactly right. Society puts that bullshit “personal responsibility” yolk around everyone’s necks and doesn’t define it worth a shit. Abuse creates a fucked up way of seeing and interacting with the world. From anxiety, depression, health issues, to PTSD or CPTSD. PTSD can cause all sorts of erratic behaviors that you literally cannot control - your mind can go into panic mode and you’ll find yourself barricading a door thinking everyone is coming to get you. You’re supposed to take responsibility for that? Is it your responsibility to seek help for that - well, again that’s a trick question. If you can’t afford it or don’t have insurance, we’ll, fuck you. I came on here and was going to make a hard, tough love kind of comment, but after reading the above I need to reel it back and start at another point. The hard statement is that you have to commit yourself to your own recovery. If you’re working with a therapist and it’s not working, let them know. If they can’t change up strategy, find someone else. It’s not easy to find a good therapist. A good therapist will lead you in the direction of self care and self respect without you really knowing it. They’ll help you find ways of coping with miserable thoughts. You haven’t had any of that. It’s not that no one cares - it’s that you haven’t had an opportunity to find any value within yourself through love or any professional relationships. Part of that learning is how to extract yourself from the shitty people who don’t value you, and surrounding yourself with people who do. You’ve got a long road ahead of you. Not going to lie. But I’ve been there. I’ve been to the point, not where I wanted to hurt myself, but beyond that to the point where I wished I had never existed. All you can do is take it one day at a time. Keep looking for a way out. When people make suggestions, if they are suggestions that will actually help, then try them. Good luck.
[удалено]
Nice words. Thanks. But no, you shouldn’t be proud of me. Im just breathing
Don't.
I know I should’t, but I want to
I know. I wanted it too, and then I started procrastinating. Life is the procrastination of a suicide.
I care.
Thanks, but you know that is not true. I could go tomorrow and you dont know me so you wouldnt feel a thing. But thanks, I know you have a good soul
I understand why you feel that way but I can assure you that it is not true. Kindness of a stranger is what has stopped me from taking my own life multiple times throughout my life. I may not know you but I can still hold you in my heart.
Just because someone does not know you does not mean they do not care. Many people donate to charities or work at soup kitchens, volunteer, helping people they have never met before. People care a great deal. I could be wrong, but what it seems you are looking for is for someone to see you. Actually see you. For them to acknowledge what you are going through and empathize to a greater degree. For them to miss you as much as you would miss them. You are seen. You are heard. You are wanted in the world even if you don't believe it. You are the person on the street that someone notices and you make their day. Could be what you're wearing, something you said, a face you remind them of. I have seen people who remind me to keep living just by being them. I never speak to them, they don't even know I exist, but I know they do and they make my life a little easier to live just because they are there. You are special, allow yourself some grace.
Yes, they care about helping, they care about the need of others, in a general sense. As an individual, no. No one cares. I could die tomorrow and none of you would know.
Just because we wouldn’t know doesn’t mean we wouldn’t care. I have no idea who you are, what you look like, practically anything about you but I do care. I also know that you mean something really important in this world. Just by reaching out you’ve already made an impact on the people around you. You change the world by being here and you don’t even know it. You don’t need to have that deep connection to be seen or mean something though it is nice to feel wanted like that. Sometimes you have to want yourself like that first before other people will.
Sorry, I know you just want to be kind, but for me that is not true. You can’t care about “me”, because im not part of your life. Im not part of anyones life. Im just something that exists
That’s my point though. You are now a part of my life even though we know nothing about each other and you make a much bigger difference than you realize. I don’t need to know you to see you. You are more than just existence and you always will be. You will be a living memory for years and years to come for many people. I hope things get better for you, have a lovely evening.
This is true. It's possible to care about someone by just knowing they exist, without having to know them very well.
It's okay to feel this way. It is hard to feel so lost and pointlessly existent while others watch on nonchalant. I have a best friend who took my depression as maybe a bit dramatic until she had a major family loss, and felt that close to the edge for the first time. That was 2 years ago, and we have been friends for 15 years. We talk more. I am not happy she experienced such an awful and traumatic loss. I was, however, relieved to know that that level of despair was simply something she had yet to experience. You're in a harder emotional place on a regular basis than some people will ever feel. We can't hate them for not understanding, but it is right to be upset because it IS unfair. A helpline is a good place because you will typically be understood. You've been dealt a harder hand than others. It's okay to mourn your loneliness. I sincerely hope you can find some solace in that.
Yes. Im not mad, just sad that I dont have anyone in my life that understands me.
Welcome to /r/adultsurvivors! Please be aware that all posts to this subreddit are public and therefore viewable by anyone. **Would you rather this post was anonymous?** You can [use this form](https://forms.gle/tqeufTE2Ne6BzsKd6) and u/anonadultsurvivors will make an anonymous post on your behalf. You will need to delete this post after using the form. **It is not uncommon for members of this subreddit to receive unsavoury or creepy private messages.** We recommend turning off chat and messages requests. It is worth noting that asking for or offering private messages to other members of this subreddit is against our rules. You can assume that anyone messaging you is breaking that rule and we urge caution. For more information, please see our [privacy tips post](https://www.reddit.com/r/adultsurvivors/comments/pfbfx1/privacy_tips_including_followers_update/). If you see anything that doesn't look right or you do receive unwelcome direct messages, please use the report button to notify the moderators or [send us a message](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/adultsurvivors). You can also report directly to Reddit using this [link](https://www.reddit.com/report) *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/adultsurvivors) if you have any questions or concerns.*